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Holiday Weekend Open Thread

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red cashmere sweater with blue stripe details

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

Have some gift cards coming your way? This sweater from Brodie would be on my list — I love the blue stripe details against the red. (In fact, I generally love red and blue together — I always feel like that's a sophisticated pairing!)

This sweater is 100% “Pure Cashmere, available in sizes XS-XL, for $309. I'm also mightily tempted by the gray/neon green version and the pink/orange version. (Also, this neon striped sweater is fabulous!)

(As noted below, the Nordstrom Half Yearly Sale has started — you can see our full roundup here, or if you'd prefer pictures, you can scroll through our favorites here. Stay tuned — we'll do some more deal roundups over the course of the week! Happy holidays and Merry Christmas to all who celebrate!)

Sales of note for 1/15:

142 Comments

  1. On the off chance anyone is around this weekend – is there a good workout program for geriatric people that mostly works on upper body strength? Thank you! For my 75yo mom who cannot bend her knees at all.

    1. Check out Fitness Blender. On their site, you can filter for upper body workouts and level of difficulty.

    2. GrowYoungFitness on IG. Some of it is leg stuff but a lot of chair based as well. She’ll have to pick and choose.

      Has she considered water walking? My 79 yo sister with a failed knee replacement loves it.

    5. FitnessBlender has great filters for which section of your body you want to work, the intensity, length of time, free or paid, etc.

      But if she truly cannot bend her knees, has her doctor chimed in yet on whether there are any lower or full body exercises she should incorporate so she doesn’t experience muscle atrophy there if she focuses only on her upper body?

    6. My mom did strong people (formerly strong women) through her local ag extension and really enjoyed it, plus also has kept up strength training for more than ten years since then. You might check if there’s an iteration in her area. Their url is https://strongpeopleprogram.org/

  2. I have now had my fill of mid-attractive people who share my DNA criticizing my appearance and people who barely worked and never made more than $35k suggesting I’ve not made enough of my career in law despite having had all the advantages of the upbringing, wisdom, and genetics bestowed by them.

    1. I am sorry you are having that experience. My dad used to say “stick with the winners” and I believe he meant those that lift you up. Unfortunately, DNA does not always equate with winners. Leave early if you can!

    4. Cool that you’re a villain in a hallmark movie. I hope you get what you deserve

      1. It isn’t wrong to notice that many of the people who throw shade don’t have any business doing so.

  3. What the?? Is this some kind of bizarro ad? No way I’m clicking on the link following that weirdness.

  5. I’m officially a Disney villainess in my cranky middle life, but GET YOUR KID’S SNEAKERED FEET OFF THE BACK OF THE 200 YEAR OLD PEWS. I don’t know which would motivate you to parent your child more – the fact that this is God’s house and a modicum of decent behavior is requested or that these pews are on the National Register, but kicking and “walking” up and down are not appropriate for the back of a pew in church. Neither is trying to pry the hymnal tray off the back of the pew.

    Just call me Lady Tremaine.

    1. You’re right that it’s God’s house, so God’s opinion of decorum, not yours, is the one that matters. Perhaps a refresher of Matthew would help you on this Christmas Day:

      Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

      You are being the disciples.

      Church is meant for children, too. I’m confident Jesus’s death and resurrection is enough to cover even the sins of putting shoes on a pew or being loud in an aisle.
      Merry Christmas; may Christ’s spirit fill yours.

      1. Notice how it’s always the supposed religious folks going out of their way to be nasty? I bet God wouldn’t want someone using “Merry Christmas” as a passive aggressive way to say “take a hike” to a stranger. Hope that made you feel better.

        Villainess, I’m with you. A little parental supervision isn’t too much to ask.

      2. Children belong in church. Children should not be allowed cause hundreds of dollars in damage in church (or destroy the decor at a wedding) while their parents sit around and smile approvingly.

        1. May Christ continue to warm and soften your heart this Christmas and into the new year. Blessings.

          2. You have to be pretty cynical to read that as “weaponizing religion.” May Christ soften your heart, too.

      4. idk why people are piling onto you for this. I know kids are gonna kid, but parents should make an effort to teach the appropriate manners for the situation, and ignoring your kid while they noisily kick the back of the pew, hang off the trays, play with the kneelers (having them bang into the floor then bang back up) isn’t it.

        1. Of course it is true that parents should parent. And it is also true that gossiping negatively about your fellow worshippers is not a Christian thing to do. OP also should be expected to display “appropriate manners,” and this post isn’t it.

          1. tbh this type of commentary is what keeps people away from church. nothing like having to worry you’re being judged for being bothered by disruptive behavior.

          2. It made such a big impression on me the first time I attended a traditional service where children were free to act their age and it really didn’t disrupt anything. So much of western Christianity is uptight.

          3. > nothing like having to worry you’re being judged for being bothered by disruptive behavior.

            “I don’t want to go to a church where I might be judged for judging” is a very funny take indeed.

        2. There are some deeply unhappy, sanctimonious, and angry people responding in comments – so just another day.

    2. You’re reminding me how walking down the aisle at my wedding instead of enjoying the moment, I was noticing a kid untying every single bow back on the chairs and throwing the flowers on the ground. I paid $15 of my very hard earned money to have each chair tied that way with flowers . The mother just thought it was adorable.

      1. Funny, when I was walking down the aisle, my eyes were on my husband. People could’ve been naked in the pews and I wouldn’t have noticed. Priorities, I guess.

          1. You’re right – it is nasty to allow this sort of minor grievance to color your wedding memories for years, and especially nasty to whine about it on Christmas. Hope she can work through it in 2026!

          2. I’m the person you’re responding to. It wasn’t minor to me—it was the only flowers I could afford at my wedding and the only ones not on the ground were the first couple of rows where our parents and grandparents were seated. Forgive me for being such a horrible person for having the gall to notice that my wedding decor was trashed. Not the kid’s fault at all either.

          3. Ignore the tr011. 99% of people would be upset if the few precious flowers they could afford were destroyed in the way you describe.

          4. No one else stopped the kid? Every guest just ignored it while this child walked around the whole venue methodically untying bows? And you had a clear line of sight to see all this happening as you were walking down the aisle, when presumably the whole group of adult guests were standing up and probably making it hard to see what a small child was doing?

            The details just don’t make sense, man. Sorry about your flowers, though.

        2. This is such a sanctimonious and low-empathy comment. I hope you’re not like this the rest of the year. Surely someone who would make such a comment would also live by either “Live and let live,” or at least “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Please just leave these other women on the board alone if you have nothing to add other than how great you are in passive-aggressive comments.

    3. I’m with you about shoes on the back of pews (ours are only about 60 years old but our parish isn’t made of money). I like kids, even/especially loud ones, in church but that’s ridiculous. I appreciate being welcoming but that’s unnecessarily destructive for all but the very smallest kids.

      I sat in back of some young people who spent the entire service randomly taking videos of the musical bits. They seemed to be friends (or maybe fans?) of a guest musician, but it was so odd and distracting. Not just a video or two – upwards of 20 in two hours. At least no one was conducting the choir from the audience, like the weirdo at the last orchestra concert I attended.

      1. I am a church musician and the parent of a church musician. Amateur church musicians frequently have their friends and family frequently take videos, and I don’t think it’s a problem as long as they are not obstructing anyone else’s view or drawing undue attention to themselves. Volunteer musicians put a lot of work into these performances and want to be able to share them with people who couldn’t attend in person. Both amateur and professional musicians also review recordings of their own performances for learning purposes, although higher-level professionals who perform frequently are less likely to care about recording what for them is minor performance, and professionals will be stealthier about recording and may only record audio.

        From a religious perspective, churches should welcome anyone who walks through their doors for whatever reason. For many people, music is the primary form of spiritual connection. Others may attend church just to support a musician friend, and perhaps may be touched by something in the sermon or readings or fellowship while they are there.

      2. As long as they don’t clap between movements or make noise, I don’t care whether people enjoy the music by conducting along because I can’t see them from the stage.

        1. I have pretty much given up on “no clapping between movements” thing. People even do it at the L.A. Phil. At this point I’m just breathtakingly grateful when they don’t.

          1. During the last professional symphony concert I performed in, the audience at the first show clapped during a caesura (a brief held silence) before the piece ended. It was a pops concert but still … yikes. At the second show the conductor actually turned around before the piece and reminded the audience not to applaud until he put his hands down.

          2. It comes off so elitist to act shocked and horrified that the hoi polloi clap too early. The only thing more gauche than doing that is other people sneering about it.

          3. It’s not elitist to expect that people be quiet and not interrupt a musical performance. That’s basic courtesy. It is not hard to notice when you are supposed to be quiet just by watching and listening to what is happening on stage.

          4. People aren’t doing it to be rude. They’re trying to show appreciation for the music and they don’t know the norms. Intent matters.

          5. I disagree. When I have paid for a ticket, I do not care about your intent. It is not hard to learn and observe the norms of attending a live performance. I am endlessly sympathetic to people having a medical emergency but it is not hard to Google “how to behave at . . . ” before attending.

            But then I am also sympathetic to people whose events (religious or otherwise) are disrupted by poorly behaved children. Unless there is a medical issue (and again, endless sympathy), your children can and should learn that there is a time and place to sit quietly and keep their hands and feet to themselves. That is called learning to behave in society.

      3. Nothing says “church is really helping me develop my patience and grace” like calling strangers “weirdos”.

  6. i’m a NEP at a biglaw firm in a high stakes/high pressure transactional practice. i returned to work from having a baby about 14 months ago, and i have really had a difficult time this year work-wise. i’m both not busy enough consistently to keep my hours high enough to where they need to be – so i get negative feedback on that front – but then i have periods of intense busyness that i am basically miserable working through. furthermore, my focus/attention/drive is certainly diminshed since having a child and i’m just not enjoying the work – especially when i’m not performing well.

    i think i need to at least consider other career paths. i have been at my firm, in my practice area, for my entire career – so i am realy having trouble figuring out where to even start with expanding my brain to think of what else could be out there for me. i’m thinking of getting a career coach, and also of starting to pick up recruiting calls (i typically ignore them out of inertia and probably a misplaced sense of loyalty) – but i’m not really sure what another job looks like for me (either continuing as a lawyer, or even switching altogether. into what? who knows – the options for me right now feel like continue in my current job or don’t work at all, and i know there has to be more out there for me). in particular, i am really feeling the need for a job with defined hours and the ability to take vacation and turn my brain off.

    Posting here to see if anyone has tips or thoughts for navigating this.

    2. this is why so many of us go in-house. It will be a large pay cut from NEP to mid-level in-house counsel most places, but you buy your life back.

    3. I went to 80% which has worked for me – I still have periods of intense busyness that are miserable (e.g. Q4/right now, I took 24 hours off from 3pm Christmas eve to 3pm on Christmas day and am paying for it), but then when I’m not busy I don’t get negative feedback about hours and can just catch up on life.

      I still make more than I would in-house (for the roles available in my specialty/market/seniority)… although now that my kids are all school-age, even 80% isn’t cutting it with being the mom I want to be, so I’m also looking for a more defined-hours job. But a cut to 75%-80% might buy you several more years of biglaw money without making yourself want to driving in front of a train in the meantime.

    4. I started at 80% for 80% pay as a senior associate back in the 90s. That worked for a few years, but then I moved to a boutique that was much more flexible because I knew I wanted to be on a reduced schedule for all of the kid years. My BigLaw firm was making a lot of noise about how alternative arrangements were temporary. At the boutique, I worked 4 days a week, then 2, and then back to full-time as kids grew up. Big Law is probably better now about alternative schedules, but it was hard being thought of as a drain on the firm. I have been paid by the hour for decades now, and I love it. I’ve outlasted some of my colleagues and friends in other firms, so they’ve bequeathed good clients as they have retired (or died, sadly). That helped make up for the years that I did not do one single thing to market my practice and made it possible for me to move to full-time when the kid years were pretty much over. I looked at in-house jobs here and there, or at alternative careers, but I am glad I stayed in a firm, and I am glad I kept working, even just barely for some years. Nothing else would have paid as well as law, so it was really the best bang for my buck.

    5. I’m not in law but worked in transactions on the finance side. Hours wise, transactions are feast or famine. With children of any age that is hard to manage. My eldest is now in high school and even at this age they ‘need me’ to help them with the emotional side of growing up.

      I would recommend a career coach and work on how you can reduce hours so it’s manageable or make some lateral moves so you are in a role where the hours are more consistent. You can work 12 hour days with children, have a meaningful connection with your family and not be consumed by this when you are well paid.

      Rest is a thing I have to work on all the time. I’m not good at it. HBR has some excellent research articles on rest in their performance management section. It was a lightbulb moment for me to realize I’m not good at rest. Going to church each week regularly helped me with reflection and was the starting point for rebuilding my schedule to build in better rest. I don’t really vacation in the way I did before having children and I don’t know if I will be able to again! I’m a single parent and the children are with me 80-90%.

      My last vacation was in 2016 and was with 2 children. My parents came with us and helped me a lot but most of the work of feeding, cleaning up and organizing everyone was on me. While it was a vacation it wasn’t relaxing hence I’ve not bothered to organize another one!

    6. I would post to the parents page. I would not make any career decisions while still getting used to balancing work and children. What they need from you and how tired you are changes each year and hearing from someone who has gone through that recently is going to be more helpful than a coach.

  7. If you observed Christmas, how did it go? Hubby and I had a quiet day home with just the two of us (home instead of traveling for the first time in years) and it was great. Presents were all a hit on both sides, we made a special breakfast and a fancy but not too complicated dinner (cookies for lunch), and watched one Christmas movie and slept through another one. I missed my daughter but didn’t miss the drama. All in all a very good day.

    1. My college kid was complaining that it didn’t seem like Christmas because there was no snow and nothing was magical any more now that she was all grown up. Singing in both the early and late church Christmas Eve services, complete with Once in Royal and the “word” chord and Silent Night with candles and a reunion of her old youth choir, brought back the magic. Yesterday was a quiet day at home with just the three of us, only a few well-chosen gifts, new books to read, and good food. Even my curmudgeonly husband agreed that it was the best Christmas in years.

    2. I’m glad you had a good day!

      The last three Christmas holidays have involved my narcissistic father, whoever his partner is that year, either my oldest or youngest sister in tears due to my father and fighting with people about him, and expensive travel holidays and hotel stays. At the end of last year’s holiday, My husband and I decided we were not doing that again. Ever. We are over 50 and we want to stay home and be drama-free for Christmas.

      This year we stayed home, had my sister who lives in town over for Xmas Eve (ate fun food and watched movies) and went to her place for Xmas (ate fun food and watched movies). The only gifts exchanged were between the kitties. It was delightful.

      3. I hope kitties wasn’t a typo and your cats actually exchanged gifts. No snark. I get my dog toys for the holidays every year.

    3. honestly, not great. my parents moved into an upscale 55+ community last year and are now in an echo chamber of rich republicans and it shows in their conversation, though we changed the subject as often as we could. my mother asked if I was sure the size I’d requested for a gift would fit, and she wasn’t hinting it would be too big. Grateful to be home having a quiet day with my husband and packing for the Caribbean, where the sea doesn’t care if my bikini bottom is a M or a L.

    4. Really good Christmas home with spouse and baby. We were both so glad we decided not to visit the extended families and add travel stress.
      I ended up working until dinner time Christmas Eve – and my incredibly patient spouse let me and now I can enjoy our week off without worrying about a half-unfinished project!

    5. We had a wonderful Christmas. The baby was sick but mostly cheerful and we enjoyed life for what it is now, not what it used to be or once was. I put off motherhood for years, worrying it was going to change everything for the worse and scared after everyone kept sharing their horror stories. It’s not without its challenges but it’s way more fun than I was led to believe it would be. Christmas is so special with a kid.

    6. We spent it at home, which has become our usual routine. Our cats love having us out of our usual daily and spending it on our laps. We got takeout from a seafood restaurant that does both Asian and Cajun for lunch (sushi rolls for DH, shrimp and mussels for me) and made pastrami sandwiches for supper from the Katz deli order DH got in. We each got exactly what we asked for from one another.

      Now, we’re setting up my dad with my older phone, so he can get security updates.

    7. We had a wonderful, peaceful Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with my parents and my (adult) daughter and her long-term boyfriend. No arguments, no drama, lots of good food and enjoying spending time together. It was really boring and really nice.

      The only yelling was when one of the dogs stole a stick of butter off the kitchen counter.

    8. Let’s be real. It was a dreadful year, we are totally exhausted and all the performative chirping about a magical time of year seems really tone deaf. We have a tree, a few presents got hurled into gift bags, we stress ate the panettone over Thanksgiving and that was it.

      1. Speak for yourself. I had an awesome Christmas despite a challenging year. People complain about the holiday so much now – it’s gotten out of control.

        1. The contrast with the horrible year is actually a big part of what makes the quiet, low-key Christmases described here so magical. Even in the midst of chaos and heartbreak, it’s still possible to find joy in things that really matter.

      3. Christmas (and probably other seasonal holidays that I don’t know as much about) is about the light amidst the darkness. It’s definitely been a crap year for us, and I’m balancing rest and relaxation with preparing to get out of this mess. Hope things go better for you next year!

      4. I think this year was tough for lots of us. I have never had so many conversations about “just not doing cards this year” as I have in the last month! But for me at least, the stress of holiday planning all largely vanished once the holiday was here and then done and I am going to try to remember that in the years to come. I generally love December 26th best anyway but especially so this year.

    9. We had a nice Christmas morning at home, then brought fancy Christmas dinner to my in-laws. It was pleasant enough as in-law visits go, but my MIL is Not Doing Well and this visit appears to be the one that has finally prompted my FIL to arrange nursing care. (MIL doesn’t want it, but FIL cannot be lifting her at his age and with his own physical problems.)

    10. I’m Jewish and my husband is Christian. It’s easier in the sense that we are not arguing over whose family to go to for holidays but we have had 5 family get together between Hanukkah, Christmas eve and Christmas Day. We are exhausted!

  8. I am experiencing lower back pain every morning when I wake up, but not during the day. Chatgpt says it’s probably due to an old mattress that’s not supporting my back. I am having doubts – my mattress is old but still seems pretty firm to me. Does anyone have any experience with lower backpain upon waking and if so, did a new mattress help?

    1. In my case, the mattress is new. I’m the problem! (Oldish) Sleeping is one of my problem “activities.” Sad but true.

        1. Well, there’s your issue. Consider PT to strengthen your pelvic floor and lower back. Mattress replacement may help, but also this is the time where you want to build strength around your spine and core to help get you to 89 (or 99!) with as much mobility as you can preserve.

          1. That’s kind of a condescending comment, “well, there’s your issue . . . .” I may be 69, but I am a lifelong exerciser, a good mix of cardio, stretching and strength. I have worked with PT and trainers to maximize where I am. I am also very active and have not curtailed my activities by much. But I am the age that I am, and 69 does not feel like 35, except inside my head where I feel much wiser and calmer.

          2. Sounds like you agree that being 69 is a major component of the issue and that mitigating efforts are appropriate. And sounds like you are doing a great job with those mitigating efforts!

          3. This sort of “hah so you agree with me!” is unhelpful. It’s the adult version of “Why are you hitting yourself?”

          4. She’s describing an issue that is part and parcel of her age. And apparently no matter how “wise and calm” she may feel at that age, she’s offended when people say that. Silly.

          5. Well, maybe because the original comment specifically stated that that “I’m the problem (Oldish)” despite the poster who seems to feel that this is a revelation that is getting pushback.

          6. The (oldish) comment is not from OP and is not what this comment is threaded under.

    3. How old is it? It probably is your mattress especially if you didn’t get an especially high quality one to begin with. A good mattress makes a world of difference. I’m amazed at what some people sleep on.

    4. I had this for a while, with occasional episodes of the sciatic nerve flaring up. After checking with my doctor, I started taking magnesium supplements and doing regular stretches, which have solved it for me. Running 2-3 times per week stayed the same before and after.

    5. It could be *how* you’re sleeping. If you’re a side sleeper, putting a pillow between your knees when you’re sleeping could help. I started doing this recently and it’s been a game changer to keep my back and hips properly aligned and not twisted.

      1. oh yeah, I also do this occasionally, not sure if it plays a big role but it doesn’t hurt I guess!

      2. I have an ancient flat-ish pillow for just this purpose. It became necessary after knee replacements.

    6. My lower back pain disappeared when I realized the issue was with my hips.

      I did some basic exercises to improve my hip strength and generally mobility and my lower back pain disappeared.

        1. Not the person you’re asking, but pelvic floor therapy did this work for me. Especially helpful if you birthed children at some point, as the shifting centers of weight from pregnant to non-pregnant can throw off how your hips and glutes engage, and if there is no conscious effort to return to the pre-pregnancy approach, the problem can just fester for years.

        3. YouTube has a bunch of different PTs with suggested exercises. I’ve worked through various iterations to find what helps.

          It would have been better to have used a pelvic floor PT but I just do not have the time. I do my exercise at 5am and 10pm.

          1. I think someone here recommended Bob and Brad the most famous physical therapists on the Internet. They have some useful exercises.

    7. Trying different mattresses didn’t help me personally. Getting a pillow for the bucket seat in my car helped some. PT and hands-on mobilization therapy helped more. Apparently my glutes were weak, my hips were tight, and I needed to improve the way I breathe since apparently the right kind of diaphragmatic breathing is great for the lower back. If I don’t keep up with exercises it does come back though!

    8. one tip from a PT that has been beneficial:
      as soon as you wake up do a child’s pose with your knees closed instead of open. hold for a count of 20, come out for a count of 10, then repeat.
      It may be done on the bed or the floor, whichever feels best

    9. Sleeping with a pillow between my knees has helped a lot. I’m only 40 but noticed a big increase in pain after sleeping in my late 30s and the pillow made a big difference.

    10. Do you sleep better in other beds, like at a hotel or someone else’s house? If so it probably is your mattress.

    11. It is pretty lucky that back pain is new to you at the age of 69. Just with age related arthritis changes we all accumulate with time, this is very common.

      Chances are good that you need to check in with a physical therapist and make sure your core/back are strong, your joints are in good alignment and your sleep position is optimized. The other poster suggesting using a pillow under your knees if you sleep on your back, or between your legs if you sleep on your side is good. That’s what a PT would tell you. And just because your mattress isn’t that old doesn’t mean your needs haven’t changed with time.

      It is also possible something you do with your daily activity and exercise program is actually hurting your back. Happens a lot, especially as you get older.

      But at the age of 69, it is good to mention new symptoms to your doctor, and get a physical exam to look for red flags. My Mom’s first sign of her cancer was back pain that bothered her at night and first thing in the morning. My mother died from her cancer when she was much younger than you. So it might erk you that we are surprised you didn’t mention your age up front, but it is a very important part of your question.

  9. Would love suggestions for a mid-February mini break with a 13-year-old. We’d be flying out of Detroit and the destination would ideally be within 2-3 hours flight time and warmer than Midwestern winter. We like to relax *and* have some activities/tourist things to do – Disney and Universal are a bit too expensive, thinking more like a cool city would be fun.

    1. Miami is fun and south Florida is the only part of the US that’s really warm at that time of year.
      New Orleans is fun and surprisingly kid-friendly. Mardi Gras is mid-February in 2026 though and I’d avoid that.
      NYC is not “warm” but warmer than Midwest and has so much to do with kids that age.

      1. Thanks, all, I was wondering if Miami might fit the bill! I’ll do some trip research (the best kind of research, lol). Love the NYC suggestion but we’re heading there in March to see a musical – would also love suggestions for kid-friendly things there! Ice cream museum was requested and I’m also thinking of tea at the Plaza as a surprise.

        1. For NYC –

          Economy Candy on the lower east side – can add brunch/lunch at Russ & Daughters and/or Tenement Museum to make a day of it. It’s not far from the Ice Cream Museum if you want to do it in one day.

          Some shopping might be fun even if most of the stuff is largely the same as you’d find back home these days. I do think it’s fun to “shop on vacation” though, especially in a cool place like NYC. My teen nieces love Soho & you can find a few cool stores to visit on 5th avenue in midtown too. There’s an Abercrombie, a cool Nike flagship, some other fun stuff. Bloomingdale’s on 59th also has a pretty good teen section.

          Not sure what you kid is into food wise, but my children are very into Din Tai Fung, which is a giant Taiwanese restaurant in Times Square and I would try to go there before the show. It’s not unique to NYC but it is fun. Get the soup dumplings.

          I might skip tea at the Plaza unless you know your daughter will really be into that and go to Serendipity on east 60th street. Do not go to the newer location near Herald Square. It doesn’t have any charm. But do get the frozen hot chocolate if you go. FYI – it takes reservations, which are pretty easy for a small group, but otherwise be prepared to wait.

          1. Thank you so much!!! I definitely want to check out the Tenement Museum so I’m glad to hear it’s near some other good stuff. Taiwanese dumplings also sounds amazing.

    3. Agree with the above commenter that south FL is your best bet for shorts weather, though in Feb. even that is not a guarantee. San Juan would be more like 4 hours flying (if you have a nonstop) but could be a good option to balance history and beach time.

      Working our way cooler but not AS cold-
      Charleston and Savannah would both probably have highs in the low 60s that time of year, if sightseeing + food is of more interest than the water activities that you can do in warmer months.
      Bigger cities- DC probably the 50s. Philly & NY more like 40s. All can occasionally go way mild (I think it was 2024 that Philly trees started blooming a bit in Feb because we had a week that was super balmy, 60s) or polar vortex freeze.

      1. I love Charleston and Savannah but I don’t think either has much for kids. Our kids are a little younger than OP’s, but we just did a couples trip to Charleston and were so glad we didn’t have them because we thought they would have been so bored.

        1. I went to Charleston around that age and loved it. My brothers were even younger, and they had fun too. It obviously depends on the kid, but it has lots of interesting history and plenty of outdoors stuff to do and, at least in my opinion, February is a much better time to visit than summer. DC would also be good if you want more of a city and Florida if you want the beach, but Charleston is a nice mix (though it’s more walk on the beach weather than swimming weather).

    4. The flight is a little longer than you asked for, but San Diego is great for kids. Balboa Park, the zoo, Legoland just up the road, the beaches.

  10. Low stakes afternoon question. Does anyone have suggestions for work appropriate shoes that fit orthotics that aren’t frumpy? I get around it a lot of the time by rocking suits & sneakers but that’s not always appropriate.

    1. Vionic loafers. I don’t need my orthotics with them but they are removable and definitely could accommodate (and I have a hammer toe where toe knuckle often rubs if toe box isn’t deep enough).

    2. Would the SAS Metro loafer work? It comes in a bunch of colors and has a removable footbed.

  11. Question: does anyone have their washer and dryer covered by cabinet doors, as part of a built-in, all cabinetry laundry room like you see on Pinterest? Visually, I would love it, but I worry they’d get in the way and be otherwise cumbersome. I’d like the doors to slide back into the cabinet, like an armoire door, so they wouldn’t be in the way while changing loads.

    1. I do not have them, but I agree with you that the cabinet doors would need to slide or there would just be too many doors at play.

      1. I have a laundry closet and the doors are a huge pain and always in the way. You also have to leave them partly open for ventilation when running the dryer.

    2. I had this at my old flat. The door of the washer fastened to the cabinet door so opening the cabinet door opened both.
      My dishwasher is the same.

    3. We had this at a vacation home. In theory it was lovely, in practice the doors (which did tuck out of the way) were never closed between doing actual laundry and wanting the appliances to be able to air out – if closed after use, the wave of starting-to-mold humidity upon opening them was no bueno.

    4. We had a set of louvered sliding doors in our first house, installed by the prior owner. Never used them except when we were entertaining.

    5. I think what you want is called a pocket door. I had it in a storage closet & it was great.

    6. I definitely think this is a “know yourself” situation. Are you the kind of person who will happily close the doors each time you use the machines? Or are you the kind of person who will open them up and (for whatever reason) just leave them that way?

      I’m a tidy person. I keep counters clear and shelves neat. So I would seem to be the kind of person those doors are made for. But if I had those kinds of doors, I’d NEVER close them. They would annoy me, and I just wouldn’t want to deal with them.

  12. I had an interview late last week and they asked me for references on Wednesday (Christmas Eve). The HR contact at the potential new job let me know I don’t have to give references to her until tomorrow due to the holiday. Unfortunately my current employer (where I’ve been for 10+ years and is the only place I’ve worked in this field) has a holiday shutdown that extends until Jan 2, we aren’t back in the office until Jan 5. It’s the *one* time of year that even the execs disconnect and although I reached out to a bunch of former managers and coworkers, no one has gotten back to me yet and I’m not surprised – many people typically don’t even check email over the holiday break. I have one reference (a former manager who I worked for for many years and have a great relationship with) for whom I have personal contact info and he gave me the approval to list him as a reference, but that’s all I have. Am I completely doomed? Can people get hired with only one reference? 🫠
    and yes I know I should have had them ready to go, but I’ve been out of the interview game for a looong time and didn’t expect things to move so fast!

    1. I would email the HR person and tell them exactly this – that you’ve reached out to people to inquire about serving as a reference but can’t reasonably expect to hear back from them until January 5 due to your company being closed. If they don’t understand and accommodate this, uh, bullet dodged.

      1. But give them the one person in the meantime. I’d also take a flier on listing a sure thing. That way you’re responsive. Just send that person a note as a heads up. They probably are checking messages but just not responding outside of something like this.

    2. I think you are skipping a step.

      I don’t know your background but I don’t provide references from my current employer until I have a job offer in hand. It’s the last step before start date is given.

      I’m currently going through the process now. I verbally accepted the role on Wednesday 17th. Compensation has been discussed Monday to Wednesday this week and will finalize next week. Contract will come thereafter and be agreed upon. They will run background check while the contract is finalized. They need to verify my work history which is a lot of work because I’m old and I’ve moved employers every 5 years. Current employer reference will come from a former manager. I absolutely do not want anyone at work knowing I’m about to leave them.

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