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Updated: Feb 16, 2021 211 Comments · by

Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Brooklyn Ankle Pant

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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So many of my favorite purchases from the last year are from Athleta. The Pranayama Wrap and Uptempo Top are currently in heavy rotation at my house.

I haven’t tried many of their bottoms, but these ankle pants look like they’re right up my alley. They’re made of a wrinkle-resistant, recycled, stretchy material, are machine washable, and come in a wide range of sizes.

This “orange haze” pair would be a great pick-me-up on a dreary winter day, but they also come in hearth rose, mountain olive, black, and navy.

The pants are $89 at Athleta, and they come in regular sizes 00–26, petite sizes 00–14, and tall sizes 0–16.

Sales of note for 9.10.24

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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About Elizabeth

Elizabeth is a 30-something lawyer living on the East Coast. She spent seven years as a Biglaw associate in NYC, three years as a partner at a medium-sized firm, and is now in-house counsel for a large company. She loves Diet Coke, '90s sitcoms, and dresses with pockets.

Comments

  1. Anon

    Currently daydreaming of the fresh, clean home I would have if I were single. Immaculate hardwood, crisp bed linens, fluffy throws that smell like lavender.

    Instead I woke up to a puddle of blood at my shoulder, thanks to my husband, the Crown Prince of It’s Not Allergies, Biweekly Nose Bleeds are Totally Normal. No, he won’t seek treatment, he’d rather just turn the house into a crime scene. Why are men like this?

    • Panda Bear

      Ooooh, that sounds awful. Unsolicited advice – has he tried running a humidifier at night? Sometimes extra moisture can help mitigate nosebleeds.

      In general, though, I hear you. Love my husband (and his fuzzy dog), but I frequently fantasize about how much cleaner my home would be without them.

      • Anon

        Not OP but I could use a humidifier recommendation. Preferably something small. I need it for dry winter skin.

        • Anin

          Philips NanoCloud – I have one in each bedroom and one close to my diva plants. I love they don’t produce any visible steam or mist.

          • Anin

            Tap water only, but I live somewhere with decent water (ie not hard). My parents have the same Philips one and harder water and had zero issues. Mom cleans any remnants of hard water with lemon juice 3x year.

    • nuqotw

      I daydream about the same thing! In my case it’s about not living in a Lego and duplo wasteland and people getting their pee in the toilet 100% of the time.

      • Anon

        My husband blames this on short toilets. But we have one elongated bowl in the house, and he leaves the same mess there, so…apparently 43 years ISN’T long enough to toilet train someone.

        • nuqotw

          My husband is very accurate. One of our kids has recently decided that as long as he makes it to the bathroom in time to pee, the toilet itself is optional.

    • Anon

      Lol I’m single and I assure you it’s not all crisp linens and wafting lavender. I woke up to my cat, curled up on my pillow, snoring and drooling on my shoulder.

    • Vicky Austin

      Ew! Second the humidifier suggestion – it helps me. But also, I would just boot his ass to the couch or something. You can sleep in the bed when you can keep it clean, pal.

    • Anon

      I woke to my dog retching on the hall carpet at 5:21 AM, out of bed to take her outside in sub-zero temperatures, scrape up vomit, run the rug cleaner before the spot set in, and of course there was no return to Dreamland. Said not as an entry into the suffering Olympics, but only to commiserate on rude awakenings.

    • Anon

      I honestly think they’re normal when it’s dry in the winter. The doctor is likely just going to tell him to use a humidifier.

      • Cat

        +1, thankfully I only experience this at higher altitudes since it is SO dry, but my husband will often have a bit of blood in the winter. It’s nothing I would describe as a “pool” though… and keeping humidifiers going definitely helps.

    • Anon.

      Saline nose spray and humidifier in winter time may help with nose bleeds.

      Signed – my kid has ruined pillows, carpets etc dripping blood.

    • anonshmanon

      Lol, I’m sorry, OP! Sometimes, the bar is really not very high – I gratefully noticed that he thought to replace the hand towel yesterday, even though what he put in place is obviously a washcloth.

    • KH

      Mine makes Hamburger Helper and leaves whatever he doesn’t eat in the sink. Yes, the fantasy of lavender scents beckons me as well…

    • Anon

      I have this problem too. After seeing a specialists to confirm there isn’t a bigger problem, he recommended putting a little Vaseline in the nose at night. It has completely solved the issue for me

    • j

      Also, just a thought that anyone who regularly has nose bleeds that cause puddles might also want to be evaluated for a bleeding disorder – for example, von Willebrand Disease is widely prevalent affecting more than a million Americans but it is very underdiagnosed and is treatable!

    • Sunshine

      My husband had his nose cauterized when he was about 20 and said it nearly stopped his nosebleeds for years. He is now 40 and gets about 6 nosebleeds per year and is considering going to get it cauterized again. He claims it wasn’t painful. Done by an ENT.

    • Anon

      Athleta offers a lot of Tall options, which is how I mitigate this for one kid I have who is tall and leggy. ON is similar. I wouldn’t do this for formal workwear, where rise is important and an exact fit is better, but this is a lifehack for us when you need a few more inches.

    • Bonnie Kate

      I really want to like these, but I just think I’d never not feel like a gym teacher while wearing them.

      • Anon

        I own these or something very similar from Athleta. I bought them for adventure travel in Belize and they were absolutely perfect for that. I got compliments on them. I thought at the time they’d get regular use but . . . no. I almost never wear them. If I work at home this spring/summer, i might pull them out on days I work primarily outside, as they are a good weight for that, but mostly they feel like something to wear on a hike to a waterfall. I am not really an athleisure person, though.

    • Mrs. Jones

      Does it also go in reverse? :) I love Heyer and haven’t seen Bridgerton.

    • MWK

      Maybe? Heyer is absolutely wonderful and my go-to comfort read, but hardly even hints at s*x and tend to take a comic note while Bridgerton (books and series) are very heavy on the s*x scenes (sometimes gratuitously so – although that is more in the later books than the first one).

      If you really liked the Bridgerton books, you should try the Stephanie Laurens Cynster books, especially the first half dozen or so which focus on the core family members (like a lot of series they can get really repetitive).

      But absolutely try Heyer. Just do not expect them to be the same in content or tone.

    • Ribena

      I can recommend Olivia Waite’s Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics too which is gorgeous – went in looking for the astronomy and finished up loving the embroidery.

  4. Anonymous

    My best friend since we were 14 years old and in high school ghosted me sometime in 2019, with no clues to why. Back then I tried reaching out and asked why she had grown silent (We used to speak/text at least once each day, often more than that) she text back with “Nothing is wrong. I am just having a quiet period of self evaluation”. I remember this was a week day and we had planned to meet up that weekend for some shopping. Come Friday, I asked if we were still on for the weekend plans and she said “Not available now”. That was in April 2019. I decided to give her space and not initiate/force conversation. I would text on holidays and her birthday but it’s always been me sending the good wishes and holiday cheer. I have maintained cordial contact with her sisters and when meeting up with one of them she casually mentioned that friend was now engaged. While we did not speak for much of 2020 hearing that stung. There was an engagement party where I was not invited…This is a milestone that we had shared intimately of, and now I was an outsider. This past weekend a former classmate from our high school shared that the wedding is a month away and again, I felt the loss. I might never know why I was ghosted and while I wish I could attend the wedding and celebrate the day with her, part of me still hurts from the abandonment and wants to move on

    Not looking for any particular advice, just venting the loss of a friendship to a community of strangers (trivial as it may be to some).

    • Anon

      I’m so sorry. It isn’t trivial at all. She was cruel to you and of course that really hurts. Sending love.

    • Anonymous

      It’s not trivial at all. I’m really sorry and I think that’s incredibly hurtful and sad.

    • Anon

      That sucks, I’m sorry. I have a college friend who cut literally all of us off, the entire social group. No idea why; there was no argument or incident. One day he just stopped answering e-mail or phone when it was anyone from State U. We all badly want to know what happened.

      • Anon

        My friend did this for awhile but then came back. It turned out she was sexually assaulted in college by someone we were all friends with back then. Even though we are no longer friends with him, being around us reminded her of him and that trauma.

    • Anon

      So sorry. This happened to me decades ago and I still think of my friend. Sometimes I try to google her to see any snippet of what she is up to. It is tough to lose a friend.

      • Anonymous

        She was family. I still meet up with her sister, exchange ideas and inspiration on recipes, fashion, gardening. My mother asks about her and I dread telling her that there is a wedding to which I am not invited (Have not told my family that she’s getting married as they will wonder what happened to their invite). Sometimes I wonder what the sisters were told seeing as they are not hostile (to me) but obviously would be loyal to their sibling.

        • Anon

          I had a similar ghosting by a close college friend after 15 years of constant contact. I realized after a lot of thought and careful consideration that whatever caused it was coming from her. There was nothing I did or said, absolutely nothing, to prompt it. That did make it slightly easier.

          • Clementine

            I had a dear friend do this to me, only to find out 5 years later that she had spiraled deeply into addiction. She was able to hide it for a long time – in part by cutting off contact to people with whom she had anything more than superficial relationships – and as part of her recovery she did apologize… but our friendship will never recover. I am now a supportive person via social media, but we were besties for YEARS and I will always be sad that we lost that.

            Even having a ‘reason’, it still sucks and makes sad.

          • Anonymous

            This has been my thought process towards letting go…I combed over all communication from the period to determine if I’d done anything to warrant the hostile dumping then decided it was all her.

            It was also an awakening for me to treat myself kindly…I did not deserve to second guess what I had done in that relationship. Note to self: to my own self be kind.

          • Senior Attorney

            I had a similar situation to Clementine. My supposed BFF got flakier and flakier, and I realized I was doing all the initiating of contact, and one day I thought “I wonder what would happen if I stopped initiating,” and the answer was “she would disappear.” She briefly reappeared maybe a year later and by then it was clear her life had spiraled completely out of control. The last break was final but not before I posted $8,000 bail for her felony DUI. I am still in occasional touch with her brother and as far as I know she is still in the grips of her addiction.

            Interestingly, my then-therapist suggested she had addiction issues, and I stoutly defended her, LONG before I caught on.

            OP, I’m sorry you are going through this.

    • Holly Flax

      I’ve been where you are with my high school BFF. It still bothers me sometimes even though it’s been years since we were close. A Cup of Jo recently published a blog post about friendships that end: https://cupofjo.com/2021/02/friendship-breakup/#more-242162

      If nothing else, the comments section alone helped me feel like I’m not the only one who has had a friendship that I thought would last a lifetime end without warning.

      • OP Anonymous

        All hail to the ladies in the comments who affirm that we are not alone.

      • OP Anonymous

        Ps: the link to the blog has made me feel really seen. Thanks for the recommendation

    • AIMS

      That sucks. This happened to me with a good childhood friend, albeit after a stupid argument we had. I honestly had no idea she was even really mad because it was one of those drunk message nonsense conversations where I (to my recollection anyway) was telling her not to do anything stupid in the middle of the night (she was drunk, I was tired).
      I figured I’d let her cool off after and I think in retrospect it just let her fume more and turned into a whole big mess. Later, I found out from a mutual friend that she took it to mean that I think I’m better than her somehow and I have always been controlling, didn’t want nice things for her, was always down on her, etc.

      I was honestly so shocked that I didn’t even reach out and now we don’t speak. I regret it but I also tried reaching out through our mutual friend and have been repeatedly rejected. I think I have to let it go. But maybe you can ask her sisters for some insight if you see them? My old friend recently had a milestone a few years ago and I wish I had tried to contact her directly one more time to at least say I wish her well.

    • Thanks, it has pockets!

      Ouch. I know how that feels; friendships do ebb and flow, especially friendships from high school, but it sucks when you realize someone you used to be close with no longer wants to have any kind of friendship with you anymore. It messes with your head when you try to think of what you might’ve done wrong.

      Sometimes all that really happened is they realized high school was a sucky time for them, and their remaining high school friends are remnants of that time even if they weren’t what made it bad, so they try to shake off some, most, or sometimes all of their friends from that period of their life just so they can feel like they’ve really left it all in the past so they can move on into adulthood.

    • I guess I need a name now

      I was dumped by a friend in a similarly harsh fashion and I found out a few years after the incident that my ex-friend was just wildly jealous of my achievements which lead to resentment of my happiness.

    • Anon for this

      I have serious considered ghosting my long time friend. She is incredibly self absorbed and my prior attempts to gently explain why something might not be do-able for me (attending an overnight out-of-town party for her and 20 of her closest friends while I had a newborn) resulted in fits and meltdowns (hers).

      She recently said some truly hurtful things about how she pulled away from me when I was diagnosed with a chronic illness because it made her feel uncomfortable and how she felt like I was just imagining most of it anyway. This was an aside to our conversation but it really bothered me because of what it showed me (reinforced) about who she is.

      I’m sure if I ghosted her she would be completely shocked. For now I take a lot of deep breaths. But there would be no value to a confrontation or trying to explain any of this to her.

      • Anon

        Ghost her or break up with her. Either way, this so called friend is adding nothing positive to your life. You have my permission!

  5. Anon

    I can’t comprehend teachers refusing to return to work even after they have been vaccinated. I think they are in for a rude shock when they go to renegotiate contracts. Like, you got the vaccine before 75+ people in Oregon and you still won’t go to school?

    • Anon

      Many laws are written to favor public sector unions because the lawmakers are beholden to unions for financial support and endorsements. The teachers will likely be fine, refusal or not, if they are unionized.

      • Anon

        I was surprised when I learned that some strong supporters of unions generally oppose public sector unions specifically. Certainly teacher and police unions seem harmful in practice.

        • fara

          I kinda fall in this category, but I’m not sure whether to include all public unions in this. The police unions are of course, terrible. Do you know of any articles or books that are good reading on the topic of public vs private unions?

          • Anon

            I’m from a family of teachers (7 of them!), but they’re all private school teachers and they hateeee teachers unions. The teachers in my family have all been in person for months (only 1 of the 7 has been vaccinated yet, she got it on her own due to being high risk) and when they were remote they all were doing live zoom classes with normal instruction (as much as possible).

            Education obviously huge in my family, and I’m really nervous to have kids because I can’t afford private school but I’m generally disappointed with public schools (even great districts, even in non-pandemic times)

        • MWK

          Hard disagree. I have teacher-family in states with no union and the extent to which they cam be abused and taken advantage of by administrators is shocking.

          My BIL was always on a one year contract and he was OF COURSE always available to come in on weekends to mow the football field – they very generously even agreed to pay for the gas of the mower, although naturally he was volunteering his time. And since he lived in a small town with no other options, he did it for a solid decade before he decided to leave the profession. My sister has similar stories. They eventually moved to another state and it was night and day the difference being in a union made.

          Also, I suspect the issue with teachers and vaccines is partly the result of the cautious messages we are getting. Public health people are leaning hard into the “you can still get Covid – it will just not be as serious and you can still transmit it” – which would honestly give me pause about physically going back into work if I lived with family that was not immunized, especially if anyone was at high risk. My parents just got their second shots and were basically told they should not change anything about their behavior.

    • Cc

      I think this is specific to where you are. Here in MA teachers have been teaching in person and still are not eligible to get vaccinated. They risk their lives where people who can stay home are somehow able to get it

      • Anon

        In many states teachers are teaching unvaccinated. Which to me makes it particularly appalling to now here some won’t consider returning to school even after they are vaccinated.

        • +1

          Yep. Here in my flyover state many places have been full time in person since the start of the school year, or at least in a hybrid model. Its interesting to hear the national news talking about whether its safe to open schools when we have been doing it for months.

        • Anon

          In our state, private and religious schools have been back since August, well before a vaccine. Ditto about half of public schools (even with rotating groups in person and remote) and many charter schools. No one was vaccinated. The sky didn’t seem to be falling then, so I’m not sure why people are planning for it to be falling now.

      • Anon

        Yup. Mom is a teacher and has been in person since October. She’s high risk and was able to get the vaccine on her own (because my aunt has made a full time job of getting older/higher risk relatives vaccine appointments), but I think she’s 1 of 3 teachers at her school who got it.

      • Anon456

        In my MA town there was a significant number of leave of absences taken by teachers and paraprofessionals when in-person teaching was announced/required – that was their way to refuse to teach in person. There was actually an ask for parents to volunteer as paras to help bring ratios in line to have more in-person days (the ask failed, and they stayed remote through the fall).

        Now that we are open and “in person” our high school is still only averaging only 2 in-person days per month for students (4 out/1 in per week, alternating weeks, add snow days, in-service days, etc). Add in the new block scheduling and non-core-curriculum classes that are done remotely, some students are in the building < 6 hours / month. It's kind of mind boggling, actually. Our union and the town are totally at war. It's painful to watch. I'm grateful my daughter is only 2 and we're observing from afar. Elementary and middle schools seem to have it together. I'm a former teacher, so I sympathize, but I also think it's total insanity it got to this point. I'm praying for everyone's sake that once those teachers are vaccinated they come back from their leaves of absence, however many are remaining and haven't just abandoned our (otherwise pretty good) school system.

      • anon

        +1 it’s different everywhere. In the Bay Area, school has been mostly virtual in the last year, but the teachers unions in several districts have agreed to go back once teachers can get the vaccine.

    • Meara

      I think all the teachers I know (who don’t like, have autoimmune conditions or anything, that might affect the vaccine) would happily go back after being vaccinated, but aren’t eligible yet or aren’t able to get an appointment. And even once you get your first dose it’s maybe six weeks before you get the second dose and have effectiveness….

      • Anon

        I keep hearing that “they are doing their job remotely,” and that isn’t close to being true. A one-hour social zoom call followed by YouTube videos is not teaching. It is not even close. I think they should just cancel school, dispense with the charade, and furlough everyone until August and start again after everyone is vaccinated. Is is a cruel joke to play on working parents and stressful for the kids, some of whom are too young or scattered to handle what is being asked of them (8 hours a day of computer tasks is fine for me, a grownup), and really awful for high school kids who have very high stakes for hard classes and very hard / high stakes tests.

        • Anon

          I think it’s important to remember the quality of remote instruction varies dramatically. In some schools it is every hour, every class, just like in person, but via Zoom. And in some, it’s a packet of worksheets emailed once a week.

          • Anon

            Yeah. My mom is a teacher. She’s been in person for months, but when she was remote they had a full day of zoom school and teachers were expected to stick as close to the normal lesson plan as possible.

            I understand wanting to be safe (my entire immediate family are essential workers, and our work places range from extremely safe (mine, my mom’s) to less so (my dad’s) and wanting to get vaccinated ASAP (lucky to have gotten my first dose last week), but if my kid were a student in a school where school was YouTube videos and worksheets, I’d be FURIOUS

          • Anon

            Be furious for me. In the spring, my kids got two social zooms per week and no actual instruction (I was working 12+ hour days, so sort of a relief). Now, they have academic expectations and a lot of gating for middle schools depends on this year (it is accutely worse for high schoolers on our street), but they have one zoom a day for “social and emotional learning” and a lot of videos to watch, reading is all done online (so even if you buy the book, page #s don’t line up and assignments become unclear), as is math (they sometimes have to take pictures of scrap paper where they work out problems and then just type the answer into something a robot grades). It varies so much by teacher even within a grade, and by principal at schools in the same district that are supposed to be teaching the same thing. I keep making big posters of the times table. At least my fifth grade math game is still strong! But OMG these kids so hate school. They are screen time zombies. It really breaks my heart — if they are going to pretend to teach them, can it not be something like 8-noon and they free time all afternoon???

        • Anon

          I just want to say “teachers are doing their job remotely” and “our children are receiving an education equivalent to the one they would otherwise receive in person full time” are two separate statements.

          We are in MA. My K and 2nd grader have been in hybrid mode since September. their teachers are working their BUTTS off teaching kids in person all day every day AND semi proctoring remote learning.

          But…my kids are so behind! And they are doing well compared to their peers. My K kiddo can read but only because she could read coming in and I know what was taught when my oldest was in K so could help. She is one of three kids in her entire class that is reading which, in a normal year, would be unheard of.

          I think there is no good way to deliver the same educational experience remote/hybrid. But that doesn’t mean teachers aren’t working as hard as they can. My second grader’s teacher would like nothing more than to be back in person. She’s 55. She has struggled to adapt to virtual learning and knows it. Our issue is that once teachers are vax’d, to bring the kids fully back would mean 4’ of social distance given the sizes of the classes and classroom space. Parents don’t like that and admin doesn’t like it either. I think we are stuck in hybrid for the year.

        • Anon

          Just to offer one anecdote just to show you can’t generalize, our kid has been 100% virtual since March of last year (not by choice) and he has live class with his public school teacher every day all day from 8:30-2:30 (with breaks and lunch). The amount of energy and accountability she brings every day to a screen amazes me, especially knowing that there are an unknown amount of parents able to hear which would personally give me a ton of anxiety.

          I realize this is a unicorn situation that is by far the exception not the rule, we are super lucky, and I 100% want our kids back in school and am disgusted by the idea that even with a vaccine some teachers in other parts of the area/country are refusing to go back (that is not the case in my microcosm, we are beholden to our county’s onerous rules but we’re working on it). But if I was our teacher and I heard nothing bad generalizations towards public teachers not working I’d hope someone would stand up and say, that’s not true for everyone (although obviously it’s true for some).

    • Anon

      I live in a state with no caps on the number of charter schools and predict an explosion in my city as every parent who can get a slot elsewhere gladly moves their kids. Surrounding counties (but you’d have to move there and endure a car commute) have been going in person, as have religious and private schools. Charter schools have been going about 50-50, but the thinking is that their zoom school is still much better than the hour one kid gets of live instruction (with 5+ hours of on-line work and watching YouTube videos). One of my kids may go back 2 days a week after a year at home this month, with the other schedule to go back in March to . . . 1 week on and 2 weeks off for the rest of the year.

      For every 25 kids who leave public schools (for anywhere, including plain vanilla homeschooling), one teacher will lose a job (not to mention bus drivers, cafeteria workers; probably no central office staff b/c I’m bitter now). Some teachers who probably hate what they are forced to offer will probably gladly leave, so I fear that it’s the long-tenured and well-connected (vs motivated and capable) teachers who will be left.

      It just really s*cks. I feel so bad for my kids, one of whom truly hates school now and this damage will probably take a long time to overcome (not to mention catching them up academically to their peers who have had actual instruction all along).

    • Anonymous

      Can we not with the teacher bashing? Let’s actually try responding to their concerns. I know this is seen as a big opportunity to finally bust the teachers’ unions, but they have these concerns for a reason and it’s not because they hate kids or want parents to suffer. Teachers are expected to serve as instructor, surrogate parent, social worker, and nurse, all while getting paid crap, and I don’t blame them for wanting to be safe in an environment where children cannot be vaccinated, variants are raging, and their parents are not distancing. Let’s try a little compassion and find out how to make the extremely important goal of school reopening work for them.

      • Anon

        Seriously. There’s an entire administration and school board actually making these decisions, which the teachers have to figure out how to live with.

        I find teacher-bashing particularly enraging when I consider the demographics of this group. My husband quit education two years ago, and I’m so glad he did. He worked 16-hour days, tutored at-risk kids after school ended, got stabbed twice, cried his heart out over the kids he lost to peer violence, and made less than 60k with a master’s degree. Y’all are privileged AF.

        • Anonymous

          That’s been striking to me too. When you hear some of the salaries on this board, it just really comes off wrong to place this unique blame on teachers. Yeah, I do think there is blame to go around in this pandemic (not that it’s that useful or productive), but why are the teachers getting this particular ire again and again here? Where are the posts bashing the school board or the community for not taking good precautions so teachers feel safe or the public health officials who opened up bars before schools?

          • Anon

            They were there! I promise you that. A lot reopened this summer though when schools were naturally closed and #s were low (in my state and city). I expected my schools to reopen on time in late August after summer camps occurs without incident. And yet our kids are STILL at home and our virtual leaning is still a sad stressful joke.

          • Anon

            As a former school child, I’m not generally a fan of teachers (with exceptions). But I think a lot of the complaining here falls into category of complaining about “the help.”

        • Vicky Austin

          I’m really sorry to hear your husband GOT STABBED, holy crap. My mom has also worked 16-hour days, cried her heart out over various students and made less than 60k with a master’s degree (and 20+ years of experience). Just wanted to say I hear you.

      • anon

        +1000. The constant teacher bashing on this board is gross. Everything sucks for everyone — have some compassion.

      • NYNY

        If you were vaccinated, but your family was not and would not be for months, would you go back to work if it meant constant close contact with so many unvaccinated people? We do not yet have a definitive answer on whether vaccinated people can be asymptomatic carriers.

        Teachers are amazing, and they don’t make nearly enough money for what they do for society.

        • Anon

          Look at the millions of retail employees and more doing exactly this, and have been since March. And are often behind teachers in the vax line. School is more essential than a trip to most of these stores. There are numerous resources showing schools are generally not where spreading happens (especially for younger grades); and while they don’t know exactly everything about the vaccine I think the fact that if you have it and are exposed to someone with COVID you don’t even have to quarantine is more telling than the overly cautious things they are otherwise saying so people don’t go crazy with no masks etc.

          So, yes, I would.

          • NYNY

            You make a better argument for retail workers to unionize than you do for teachers going back to in-person school, Anon @12:02.

      • Anon456

        Can we not dismiss all concerns of parents related to remote teaching as “teacher bashing”? Some people take it too far, absolutely yes, but my god – there are fundamental issues with our system and a discussion should be encouraged. And, I will say it, some of it is driven by the teacher’s unions.

        • Anon

          Exactly. I am pretty sure that my kids’ very good teachers this year did not choose this personally and prefer to actually teach their students. I blame our school board, our superintendent, and our teachers’ association leadership for winning the race to the bottom compared to surrounding counties who went back in-person in August and private/Catholic schools who also figured it out in August. We just s*ck, and the good teachers will probably go somewhere that lets them actually teach.

        • Anon

          Yes, and teachers themselves have very serious complaints about their unions and administrations. And sometimes their fellow teachers.

          I remember and am grateful to good teachers I had as a child. I know many excellent teachers teaching in public schools right now. They are fighting the good fight.

          But I also remember the teachers who were abusive toward or inappropriate with students who were protected. It’s no fun to work alongside people like this. There are also teachers who may be excellent at childcare but whose own literacy level would not allow them to read or post to this comment section, or who teach content that they don’t actually know or understand. I don’t know what it takes to be disqualified from the job, but it would seem to take a lot.

          So I don’t think it’s supportive of teachers to defend and protect bad or minimally qualified teachers. I do think teachers are sometimes blamed for union and administrative decisions. I know some of the teachers who were just assigning worksheets were following instructions from administration aimed at preventing disparities surrounding access to technology, for example.

          I don’t personally support teachers returning to the classroom before they’re vaccinated; I think the studies we have encourage caution on this. When they reopen and hopefully going forward, I think schools could do more to avoid incubating and spreading contagious diseases in general. Smaller class sizes, better air circulation, cleaner environments, etc. all make a difference.

        • Seventh Sister

          The discourse in my neighborhood has become rather heated. I’ve been called a monster that wants all the teachers to die (!) because I support a return to in-person instruction after teachers are vaccinated. (Some of the stakeholders in our district don’t want any in-person instruction until all students are vaccinated.) Never mind that the poorest-paid teachers in our district, the preschool teachers, are working in person.

          I’m also of the opinion that unless parents repeatedly and consistently advocate for in-person instruction, it will just get pushed off again and again. My kids are doing OK, but I don’t think they will get in-person teaching anytime soon unless parents keep pushing. And I’m pretty sure I will NEVER support a hard closure of public schools again.

          • Seventh Sister

            Well, I’ve completely lost trust that my kids’ public schools have the best interests of children in mind. They are also being terrible about understanding science, statistics, or risk assessment.

          • Anon

            Oh, sorry, I meant in the sense that I agree with you. Like, with COVID at least in the very beginning when we knew little and it was super scary, yes, I get closing. And even now I get that there is good arguments on either side, although I am personally in favor of them being open.
            But the thing is some level of multi national virus circulates on some level honestly not that infrequently (Zika, Ebola, SARS etc), and I’m worried that anytime there is even the whiff of one we have now set this zero risk precedent for schools, even if something hasn’t reached our country or is not very transmissive, etc. I hope I am wrong.

          • Seventh Sister

            I’m glad I’m not the only one! The risk assessment has been so terrible. I have the same concern – some flu variant is slightly more virulent than usual in 2022 and BOOM, let’s close all the public schools. Not OK.

    • AIMS

      Teachers are not teacher unions. Unions are tasked with negotiating on behalf of many competing interests and ultimately there is a lot of correlation between strong unions and a higher standard of living for people, even those who aren’t unionized. I have a lot of issues with the rules the teachers union negotiated in NY but I am super impressed with the job my kids’ teachers and administrators have been doing this year.

      • Anon

        Can’t say the same and one of my kids is struggling with some serious mental health side effects of school stress with zero teaching support except from me (but I have a job; I wish I could be PT but that isn’t happening plus I am also covering for someone on maternity leave now). Mental health is health and this is making my kids sick.

        • Anon

          I struggled with mental health because of school as a child, and being pulled out of school and home schooled was the cure. My education honestly only benefited since part of the issue with school was that it just wasn’t very good. Your child may thrive in regular school, but it sounds like their experience with Zoom school is similar. Even if it’s just temporary, the message that mental health is more important and that goals can be attained outside of the system was a good life lesson for me. I feel moved to say something since I really never told my parents just how bad it got. I didn’t need treatments or therapy; I needed relief from the bad situation.

      • Seventh Sister

        I’m starting to wonder if our local teachers’ unions are even interested in public support. I’m generally Team Union and supported the last teachers’ union strike in my metro area, but they sure aren’t generating a lot of public goodwill by asking for pretty unreasonable stuff.

        • anon

          Yep. Sorry your free daycare got taken away. In the battle of job vs. kids, y’all keep choosing work and wondering why the kids are suffering.

          • Anon

            I do see a tension between “teachers are the worst” and “I wish I could send my kids off to spend their day with teachers.” If you think they don’t understand science, statistics, or risk assessment, how qualified are they really as educators? And if they’re more valuable qua babysitter, if you think they have no public spirit and don’t have your children’s best interests at heart, why entrust your kids to them?

    • Anon

      In my states, many teachers just quit. It’s not that great a job here (we don’t pay at all well or treat teachers particularly well either).

      • Anon

        This. We can’t have in person classes because there are not enough bodies available to safely open the schools. They quit, took leaves of absence, retired, took ADA leave. There are NO subs. What are they supposed to do?

        • Anon

          Yeah, I would not sub in a pandemic. I have a part time teaching job, but I’m only continuing with it because it’s online.

  6. Piper Dreamer

    Any webcam recommendations? Looks that our firm is probably not going to reopen until the end of the year, so I figure I should upgrade my videoconference setup. I have a pretty decent speaker already. My overhead light has a yellowish tint so anything that would brighten that up would be helpful (not sure if that is possible without a different light source…)

    Thanks!

    • Anon

      I’ve started using my work phone as a webcam. I have one of those little clips that have a phone holding arm and a ring light arm on them, and I clip it to my monitor stand.

    • Digby

      No advice on the webcam, but can you change the light bulb(s) in your overhead light? It’s amazing how different the color of light looks when you change the light bulbs.

      • Blair Waldorf

        Adding on to this, we bought wifi lightbulbs for the floor lamps (no overhead lighting) in our living room, which is also my WFH office. I thought it was ridiculous but I love being able to change the tone of the light from daylight to cozy to “focus” depending on what is going on.

    • Anon

      Do you really need a new webcam, or would you be better off buying a lighting setup? Lighting is much more important to how you look. Unless your laptop is ancient, I can’t imagine that it’s camera isn’t good enough.

    • Piper Dreamer

      Thanks all. These are very helpful. I use a docking station and am having to undock it before using the laptop camera, hence wanting to see if I can get an external one. But definitely agreed on lighting. I will see what I can do to change the light bulb!

  7. Anon

    I’m pretty junior in my organization and was just tapped to run a pretty big project. I’m the only person at my level doing this kind of work. I’m honored and excited, but also my head is spinning! It’s gonna be heavy on project management and herding cats – two things I don’t usually have to do during my day job.

    What are your best project management and/or fish out of water tips?

    • Cat

      Oh, my sympathies. Project managers never get appropriate credit when something goes well, but they often get dumped on.

      As someone who is occasionally “project managed” the key is striking the right balance of who to include in stuff. Lots of “all hands” meetings or emails leads to people who think none of the meetings are important for them and ignore all the emails, on the assumption that someone will remind them if they need to pay attention to something in particular.

    • anne-on

      I’d strongly suggestion you build out your project plan ASAP and break tasks down into small steps and then CLEARLY outline due dates/action owners/SMEs/etc. It makes it easier to spot when something is going off the rails if you notice that small step 2 is languishing versus big item 2 not progressing but not knowing why.
      Also – a database/repository of documents/the project plan/etc. that everyone has access to is non-negotiatble. This can’t live on people’s laptops/emails, it needs to be a shared editable resource.

      • anon

        Absolutely agree with this. Even working on projects with the same team of 2-including-me, a very atomized schedule and joint access to all the files has been crucial. We leap forward when we remember that, and stumble as soon as we forget.

    • Anon.

      Consider pre-alignment meetings with key stakeholders. Essentially, before every major decision/milestone, before you present to stakeholders with decision power, have a pre-meeting with the critical subset (or function) that includes whoever is representing their function on your team. You will want to have buy-in from the critical people before holding the actual decision meeting to avoid nasty surprises.

      Try to hold your functional experts accountable to their inputs, and have them align with their chain of management first.

      Maintain an Excel spreadsheet of people involved and categorize by function, phase of project etc. For one big project I had, I kept a printout of the leadership org chart to which I had mapped the different project members (and their management chain in case of deep hierarchies).

    • Anon.

      Additionally, maintain a slide deck with just 1-2 slides presenting the background and status of the project in an executive format.
      I have 1 slide with the 4 sections: Background, Key Challenges, Key Results, Next Steps/Timeline. Each section has 3-5 single-line bullet points under each.

      Then, if someone new gets onboarded, I can refer to this slide and add a box under the information above outlining how I see this person contributing (e.g. “Asking for your perspective and expertise regarding product forecast numbers/branding/marketing strategy…”) . I may add more slides depending on other relevant functional information.

      Also, get familiar with Gantt Charts – if you do not use a dedicated software like MS Project, at least have a PPT template ready (or in a pinch, an Excel sheet with dates/months on top and you color the cells).

    • Anon

      If you aren’t a project manager normally, then the biggest thing is building a little dashboard and regular communication to the matrixes team as well as all the senior stakeholders. You want to be out in front of things with a red/yellow/green status and an owner and an action plan for any red or yellow items.

      The senior team will only notice the red/yellow and you want to have them see it as soon as possible so they can poke at whatever the delay is in real time, not be furious that you are waiting on some analyst to get you a report six weeks ago.

      • anne-on

        This. The red/yellow tracking is crucial as I find stakeholders are much more likely to crack the whip/bring in supporting resources early when there is more lead time and they can anticipate the impact of cascading delays. Telling people that things are falling apart 3 weeks out from a deadline won’t go well for you or anyone else involved.

    • Anon

      Communicate effectively—if you are sending an email, make sure it is very clear what you want from the recipient. Do you want them to absorb the info and apply it to something they are working on, give you feedback (if so you need to give a deadline for that), or you are telling them the plan that you’ll execute unless you hear objections by X time?

  8. Anon

    As someone who has been physically at work, and in an industry full of people who have been continuously working, since the very start of this, I’m pretty sickened by all the special deference some people seem to want to give to teachers. I would like to see them vaccinated, certainly (and my state just opened that up, hooray!), but the fact is, school is essential and they should be there, like so many of the other people all of us depend on to keep our lives going.

    (For the record, my kids have been in school since August and I’m very happy with it and with their teachers. I know this isn’t every teacher by a long shot, but it’s troubling to see it where it is.)

    • Names

      Oh goody, not one but two threads to slam teachers! Do you want schools to open? Stop partying and visiting and traveling. I don’t blame teachers for not being confident in their communities.

      • Anon

        Nope. I started one thread and I think many teachers are great. Just not ones now claiming it isn’t safe to return even after they’ve been vaccinated. Nice try though.

        • Names

          Sounds like it was you on both threads then. You made that point in the first thread and not in this one. I guess you’re not concerned about the variants, which shows you’re not concerned about what teachers care about in my region. I want schools to open too (and I do not even have children), but I think belittling teachers and ignoring their concerns is not going to help. Personally, I can’t imagine how hard it must be to be dealing with irate parents right now who want schools to open, but aren’t taking even basic measures to protect themselves and others from the virus. Teachers cannot get vaccinated yet in my state either – not that we can expect robust protection against the variants right now.

      • Anon

        Oh, right. I can’t party, visit, or travel b/c I have to manage my job along with proctoring home schooling and being better than YouTube videos for the one kid I have who still cares about school. Sorry. You are shooting the choir. I didn’t get to bed before midnight for months last spring and was so grateful for the summer. Then my life has s*cked majorly since August and we’re still not back. I effing hate public eduation now and pray that any spot opens up for my kids on a waitlist for any local school (including faiths that we don’t belong to but they care about education and kids).

      • anon

        In our community, it’s the teachers who are partying and visiting and traveling, then turning around and complaining about having to work. Oh, and by the way, even those who chose to teach 100% on line got vaccinated before old people and high-risk people. And they are not teaching my kid a d@mn thing, just having her watch YouTube videos and complete mountains of auto-graded quizzes. Sorry, no sympathy. If teachers would unite with parents to lobby for opening schools safely, improving ventilation, enforcing masking, getting families vaccinated, closing restaurants and gyms, restricting sports, improving the quality of on-line coursework, etc., I’d support them.

        • anon

          Wow your contempt for teachers is palpable. I don’t buy your last sentence at all…. you’d still find something to be mad at them about.

    • Anon

      I’ve been begging, borrowing, and stealing since last March b/c our schools are still not open. IDK how teachers get to cut in front of everyone who has been doing their jobs in person since March (grocery store workers, sanitation workers, prison guards, EMTs, firerfighters, guys at the water department), not just sending links to videos, but doing 100% of their actual jobs. I mean, private schools and college/university teachers have been teaching (with some remoteness, but much closer to holding up their end of the bargain).

      I am predicting that the unions have overplayed their hands and it will drive out any people who can afford a choice in where they send their kids, either by choosing private school or choosing to move somewhere that prioritizes what kids need vs what the noisiest of adults want.

    • Anon

      Why are we doing this? You’re sickened? I’ve been physically at work as well…with people who are wearing half face respirators and/or have private offices. No teachers get these things. The kids are wonderful, but the parents can be terrible – fighting masks and social distancing at every board meeting. Teachers are human beings, worthy of respect. I think vaccines are a game changer, and they should return after full vaccinations, but I honestly think the vast majority of teachers and teachers unions feel the same way.

      Your kids are watching. I hope you are not raising them to be contemptuous of other people. Pathetic.

      • Anon

        I would put my kid in 5 masks and a beekeepers suit if it got them back in the classroom. It’s been almost a year. They are wilting before my eyes. I wish gap year had been an option for elementary school. They could have read books on their own, played outside, and have had some peace. Now they are chained to a computer, watching videos to learn math, and worried that they will be held back because they have failed various high-stakes tests due to computer glitches. Their stress is through the roof and it is not fair.

        • Anonymous

          Can’t you unschool them or homeschool them if you really want a gap year? What are the rules in your state?

          • Anon

            In my state, not only would this not be allowed but your kid would forfeit magnet slots forever if they had been in a magnet program. That is why we are roughing it out. I can afford private school for more than one year and with my job could not meaningfully homeschool older kids.

          • Anonymous

            Ah, I see. I sympathize – it’s definitely rough. I guess there’s probably little chance of financial aid for private school with how chaotic things are for everyone? I wish there were an easy solution (for all of us).

      • Anon

        Yeah, I fully supported remote learning 100% of the time until teachers got vaccinated, and in fact felt it was immoral to demand teachers go back to live instruction sans vaccination. But if OP is saying the union refuses to go back even after vaccinations, I don’t understand that.

        I’m just going to take this as an anecdote. Teachers and childcare workers are included the current phase in my county, and as far as I know they are itching to get back to the classroom. Several elementary schools were even open for half days for a while.

        My kid is in high school. He’s been fully remote since last spring. There was a bit of a learning curve but his classes meet live four days a week for an hour and they are covering class material. It’s not social hour. He’s been learning and getting good grades, but not without effort on his part. He has a lot of assignments to keep up with and spends most of the remaining hours of the day working on those.

        The toughest class to handle remotely has been orchestra.

    • I guess I need a name now

      Ugh, just because your in employer is unethical doesn’t mean other professionals should be put in danger too.

      • Anon

        Just because some of us have to go to work doesn’t mean our employers are unethical

        • Anon

          I agree. If you are not essential and your employer is making you go to work, then they are unethical. I would seriously reconsider working there.

    • Anon

      Now that vaccines are available, essential workers including teachers should have priority. I fully disagree that unvaccinated teachers should have to go back to work in person before being vaccinated, especially since there is a workaround – remote learning.

      Teachers should have been up there with healthcare workers in priority.

  9. Theory Outlet purchase

    My Theory wool sheath dresses could use an update and I’ve seen something similar on the TheoryOutlet website. The dress is called “Sheath Dress in Good Wool”. On sale for $100 and change….

    Anyone have this style and can speak to the quality and how close it is to the regular sheath dresses by regular Theory?

    Thanks!

  10. anne-on

    Anyone else hitting a wall? The prospect of another full month and a half of MORE ice, MORE snow, MORE cold and with winter break stuck largely inside or at the same trails/parks/etc. we’ve already done to death with kids is about to break me. If I can snap myself out of it a bit I’ll find the energy to plan something fun (somehow?!?) but ugh.
    So. What are your best tips for treating yourself well when you just want to cocoon in bed? I downloaded a fun book, I’m skipping cooking tonight, and I plan to walk the dog at lunch to get some sun. Any other suggestions?

    • Names

      How about boardgames? We tried one for the first time all pandemic last night and actually had a really good time. I think the novelty helped.

    • Anon

      Yup, I’m losing it. Expecting another foot of snow in the next couple of days, after a half-inch of ice two days ago, and two feet of snow right before that. We do not have a snowblower, and everyone in my household has back problems. There is nowhere left to put more snow, no one is strong (or tall) enough to lift it any higher.

      I am completely out of fresh produce; we haven’t had safe driving conditions in at least ten days. The trash truck got stuck on my street Monday, and it took them 12 hours to extract it.

    • Bonnie Kate

      Leaning full in to hygge – I got a new faux rabbit throw pillow and blanket from target last week. It came in a day – super impressed with target shipping btw – and it’s best thing. Also adding new scents – either a new candle or essential oil diffuser blend, whatever trips your trigger.

      Also, puzzles. Get one you legitimately like. This one was super fun: https://www.uncommongoods.com/product/political-buttons-of-america-puzzle?country=US&utm_source=google%20surfaces&utm_medium=organic&aw_cid=418702497&aw_aid=23036126097&aw_dev=c&aw_loc=9019425&aw_key=&aw_mtype=&aw_net=g&aw_ad=89994005337&aw_pos=&aw_shopid=52171&aw_prod_partid=740773990507&gclid=CjwKCAiAmrOBBhA0EiwArn3mfNDRosDRvhDji5cW2J17FekQ9O6LkU3mfkw9BvyZqpZr3aiAtpvrKxoC1K8QAvD_BwE

      • Bonnie Kate

        Another idea – full on full weekend movie marathon. All the Harry Potter movies. Or Star Wars or Lord of the Rings or Avengers or Batman or Toy Story or whatever you like. Even if there’s too much screen time happening anyway, whatever, it’s winter in a pandemic. Make it an event to binge all of a franchise.

    • anon

      I am right there with you. This has been a brutal winter, and I also am out of ideas on how to make this better. We’ve done all the inside things we can stand.

    • anon

      Indulge in it for one weekend. Cocoon in bed. Read your book. Let your kids do whatever they want. Order takeout. Leave the dishes. I did this yesterday (was off for Mardi Gras), and it was glorious. I feel much better today. I’ll plan another hike or something this weekend.

    • Flowers

      Yes. Yesterday was perhaps the lowest I’ve felt. Although I didn’t need groceries, I drove to a supermarket and got three inexpensive pots of tulips and daffodils to spread around at home. Both the frivolous feeling of the outing (double-masked) and the flowers themselves helped a lot to change my mood.

    • Blair Waldorf

      Here for venting but sorry no ideas. I am slammed at work and have a 5.5-mo old. She’s normally a good sleeper but last night was baby/computer shuffle until 1 am when I gave up. DH will help tonight – every time I put baby down I thought she would stay there. (But also trying to work while baby is screaming is like trying to work while an airhorn is going off at random intervals.) This morning I asked DH if me losing my job would be a “qualifying life event” to get me on his health insurance. Also lots of low key stress of what if one of us gets COVID (DH required to work in person in the office)? Grandparents not fully vaccinated and not sure they would be willing to help if known exposure and baby would not be able to go to daycare. Not trying to qualify for the suffering Olympics (I don’t think), just wanted to let you know you’re not alone.

  11. anon for this

    I have been working from home since early March 2020 and thanks to my governor’s guidance that all who can work from home should, I am spared having to go back to the office for the immediate future, despite my company requiring all who don’t have small kids or a medical reason to return to the office on March 1. Said offices have been returning in increments since last fall. At that time, they instituted a health screening app that must be completed each morning prior to entering the office (a good idea). At the holidays, they decided that ALL employees must complete the health screening regardless of where they are working. I’m one of the last people who is a big privacy freak – I think if you are out in public or enjoying public resources (e.g., internet) there is a price to have these benefits = loss of some privacy. But this health app when I’m not anywhere close to the office feels very different to me and very intrusive. I pushed back a little and got the response that everyone is doing it and it became mandatory for all because it was too hard for people going in to the office to remember. I have not been doing the screenings and have started to get daily mass reminders to do the health screening. Does HIPPA or any other privacy principle apply here? They say they aren’t keeping the data but they track everything else and I don’t trust the response. I have a few health conditions I would rather not disclose, but doing this screening may affect that. Advice?

    • Anon456

      No answer, but I’ve been really curious about this too…. I feel like some of what my company is asking us to do is in major violation of HIPPA and if someone wanted to dig in they totally could.

      • Anonymous

        I understand this feeling intrusive, but I don’t think you have a HIPAA argument here. There may be other relevant privacy laws at play but unless your employer is a covered entity, HIPAA doesn’t really apply.

      • Anon

        Nobody who ever claims that something is a HIPAA violation ever knows what HIPAA is.

    • Anon

      HIPAA applies only to ‘covered entities’ which are healthcare facilities, insurance companies, healthcare providers, etc.

      • Anon

        I’d like to tattoo this on my forehead or at least put it on a t-shirt. I deal with so many people claiming that mask requirements are a HIPAA violation or anything else they don’t want to do. Just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean it’s a HIPAA violation!

        • Senior Attorney

          I agree 100% that most people who spout off about HIPAA don’t know what it is or who it covers.

          And now, one of my favorite jokes:

          Knock, knock!
          Who’s there?
          HIPAA!
          HIPAA, who?
          I can’t tell you!

          Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week…

          • AIMS

            Thank you ! So genuine question – why can’t we be told who tested positive for COVID at work? I have to a steady stream of emails that say “someone on X floor tested positive. Contact your doctor if needed” or in my apartment building, we will be told someone tested positive and consents to quarantine but not what apartment they are in – some people consent to have their name released, but most don’t. I understand people want their privacy, but it’s also frustrating to not have any idea if you need to worry or how much. I have sort of resigned to just not thinking about it but curious about the legal basis for non-disclosure. Is it not HIPAA? (I confess to complete ignorance on this subject).

          • anon

            It’s not about HIPAA, which does not apply to non-covered entities such as schools and most employers, and it’s not really even about privacy. Organizations that rely on privacy rationales to conceal details about COVID exposures are really motivated by the desire to avoid the inconvenience of quarantining large numbers of employees or students (our school district), and/or don’t believe that COVID is really dangerous (the old white lawyers who run my employer).

          • AFT

            AIMS, it’s a more general privacy concern as an employer – possibly with repercussions to medical issues related to FMLA, more remotely ADA, and just general good HR practices of not sharing employee medical info unnecessarily. But unless your employer knows about your health condition because they are also your doctor, it’s almost certainly not HIPAA.

          • AIMS

            Thanks guys! I did suspect it’s largely not wanting to deal with people complaining/freaking out (at least in our apartment building) but good to be able to understand why this isn’t a HIPAA issue.

          • Anon

            AIMS, it’s also not good public health practice to out people. If you do that, nobody’s going to admit to being sick or go get tested.

          • anon

            You can usually manage to notify the exposed people without specifically identifying the infected person. Schools do this all the time with lice, strep, etc. They just refuse to do the same with COVID.

          • Anon

            This is amazing! In response to your specific question, AIMS, the ADA generally prevents employers from disclosing confidential medical information about employees.

          • Anon

            Good joke! I assume the rationale is to avoid any sort of disability discrimination

    • Anonymous

      I would continue to not fill it out. If they insist (which I doubt they will if the only reason they’re requiring it of everyone is “some people at the office forget to do it,”) I would push back more formally. If they continue to insist, I would ask for documentation about how the data are being stored and used and try to assess for violations there.

    • Cat

      I think you’ll do better if you have a response that suggests a way to solve the problem (in-person workers not remembering).

      Maybe your company needs to have a person standing in the lobby to check each person has completed the app checklist? Could the app display a big “checkmark” for people to flash to make this easier?

      • anon

        +1 there are solutions that (in my opinion) are aligned with the right to privacy. My employer’s system is framed as a health pledge rather than a screening. So rather than disclosing your specific health status, you read through the list of Covid symptoms, and then check one box to declare that you experience none of these symptoms, and that you’ll promise to monitor for these symptoms. We only have to do this weekly and not if working from home, which is why compliance has been near 100%.
        Access to our building is by electronic key card, so if you key in without completing the health pledge, someone higher up is automatically notified.

      • AIMS

        My kids school has this and you have to show a check mark to come in, you don’t have to do it if you’re not going in.

      • BeenThatGuy

        +1 I’ve been doing a daily health questionnaire since August. It has not impacted my life one bit.

      • Anon

        Anon at 11:08, do you have a 50 state survey you can link to? I have a background in health and employment law, and if a client wanted advice on whether it could require a health screening for fully remote employees, I’d need to look into whether it was lawful in my jurisdiction. Even if lawful, it’s not a good idea to collect wholly unnecessary health information from employees in my jurisdiction.

      • Anonymous

        Ah, the dream sentence that totalitarian regimes love for the public to embrace!

    • AIMS

      I don’t fill mine out and no one had ever followed up. We have the same rules. Reminder gets sent automatically.

    • Bonnie Kate

      My answer changes depending on what they’re asking on the health app. If it’s temperature checks and questions like “is your throat sore? do you have a cough?”, this wouldn’t be a big deal to me and I’d just roll my eyes and do it.

      Now here’s my really honest thought – If they’re more intrusive/may reveal heath conditions that you don’t want to disclose – I completely understand that – what are the consequences for lying and just filling it out the way it won’t raise any flags? I’d feel differently about this if you were going into the office, but since you’re not – does it really matter? Take that opinion for what it’s worth, which might be not much – I am not a lawyer though, have no idea of legal consequences, and also am very comfortable with moral ambiguity. :)

      • Cat

        I wouldn’t want to lie to the entity providing my health insurance. Would choose not to respond instead.

      • Anonymous

        I would frame it as “interpreting” versus “lying” on the form. I have seasonal allergies so I’m always sniffly. The forms sometimes ask if you have a runny nose or are sneezing. I’m checking no with a clear conscience. The forms are asking if you’re sick, not if you’re experiencing normal-to-you existence in the world. If you know you’re not sick then you can check no.

        • Anon

          This. They’re not thinking of chronic conditions; they’re asking about symptoms that indicate an infection.

    • Sara

      My company requires using the app in order to access the office, and presence in the office is mandatory barring illness, vacation etc. The app produces a QR code upon completion of the questions. There is a person in the lobby on every floor who checks the code for everyone before they can gain access to the offices, and we are also required to do a temperature check. If we somehow get past security without having completed the app, we get an email telling us to do it, and we are tracked. I don’t know the penalty for failing to comply because I have been fully compliant. My thinking is that I need this job, and if that’s what the job requires, I’ll do it.

  12. Anonymous

    After hearing it mentioned here I bought the Anxiety & Phobia Workbook. It arrived today and it is huge! Those who recommended this book how did you work through it? Cover to cover?

    • Veronica Mars

      I am a huge evangelist for the book, it was life changing for me. I took it one chapter at a time, basically it’s like an enormous compilation of every single medically accepted treatment option for anxiety, so obviously some of the stuff just isn’t going to be relevant. I have the 5th edition; Chapter 3 is where it goes into how to start a recovery and treatment plan, so that’s a great primer. I also really like the workbook section for self-talk (chapter 8) and mistaken beliefs (chapter 9); I also reference the nutrition section and medication sections. Those are probably my most used and favorite parts.

  13. Anon

    Friend just got an offer at Amazon for an in house role. She doesn’t have any contacts there she could get intel from, and google research suggests a lot of horror stories. Anyone have personal insight into working in their legal department?

    • Curious

      It’s hugely varied and depends on your boss and your ability to set boundaries. If you find a good boss and like the bias for action culture, Amazon is an amazing place to work. Unfortunately, getting hired in from the outside means your first boss is a crapshoot. But once she’s in, she can rotate after 6 months. So it’s a question mainly of whether she can tolerate half a year of risk. I know a large number of happy Amazon lawyers who have been at the company for years, a few harassed and harried ones, and one who left almost immediately.

  15. Revlon Hair Styling Brush Thing

    A quick review of the Revlon Hair Dryer Brush Thing so many on this site have recommended. My hair styling skills are at about a C-. I used my normal blow dyer to get my hair to about 80% dry and then tried the Revlon dryer. It was easy and left my hair looking much closer to a professional blowout than I could ever get. Plus my roots had volume! So, if you’re thinking about it, this below average hair groomer gives it two thumbs up.

    • Anon

      I also grabbed one when it was on sale recently and have the same review (including my C- styling skills).

  16. Anon

    You guys, the handbag discussion the other day did me in. I hadn’t bought anything “fancy” in a year plus. Just some serviceable wfh clothes and a bunch of skincare because my skin has changed.

    But the handbag discussion plus just being OVER all this led me to the real real where I succumbed and bought a bag for about 20% of its original price of about $1000, which I had fleetingly considered paying two years ago.

    It came in the mail quickly and I used it immediately this weekend. I was feeling guilty about the spend because my income is greatly reduced since March (I mean, I can afford it, but there’s always the guilt) but today I got a text from my credit card asking if I wanted to use points to pay for the purchase. I forgot I even had points!

    So I will just be over here now with my pretty new guilt-free bag!

    • Anon

      Nice!! I don’t know how I didn’t know about The Real Real until last week (I mean, I knew it existed but somehow figured it would not be relevant to me?) and I went on a huge shopping spree. I think partly because I am just ready for a change and I can at least wear fancy clothes to pretend that I’m a hip, stylish person who goes places and does things.

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