Can You Bring Homemade Cookies for Your Boss?
We got a sweet and simple reader question: Is it okay to bring in homemade cookies for the office when out-of-town boss is coming to town?
Let's discuss — I'm curious what the readers have to say here.
The old advice here would be NO. Periodt. DO NOT DO DOMESTIC THINGS FOR YOUR COWORKERS LIKE BRINGING COOKIES. At worst, it may make you seem like you're not “serious” about your career because you would prefer to be at home (“trad wife,” as the kids say); at best it may suggest you're the “office mom” of the group and therefore a super candidate to do all of the menial, thankless, office housekeeping-type tasks around the office.
This may be changing, though, as new generations of bosses come into power, and as gender stereotypes evolve. So, here are some parameters to think about this:
Can You Bring Homemade Cookies For Your Boss?
Is baking and/or food part of your job? If so, sure.
Are you known for your cookies? Is this something that you've talked about with the boss in the past, e.g., have you mentioned how much you love baking in your free time? Have you baked them for office-related events in the past and your coworkers keep going on about your cookies? In that case, maybe bring cookies. (Alternately: Have you joked about Ted Lasso's biscuits with the boss?)
Is everyone in the office bringing food? My gut here says that this is still going to fall across very gendered lines, even though yes, gender is a social construct. If the men aren't bringing food, you as a woman should not (and certainly “the women of the office” should absolutely not bring food if the men aren't).
Are your coworkers mostly male? If so, you may already feel like you're swimming against the current, and it would be probably a bad idea to call attention to the fact that you're female.
Would your boss have brought cookies if they were in your shoes? I've had the privilege to work with some amazing women bosses, and lots of female-heavy teams, and even then I don't think I would have brought cookies, because the vast majority of my female bosses, having fought their way through the general casual misogyny of the office, would have followed the previous advice to not do domestic things at the office. If I had done it and brought cookies for them, they'd have rolled their eyes and assumed I was halfway on my way to quitting to be a stay-at-home mom. (At best, I would have gotten a stern lecture about how women cannot do those things in the workplace.)
One of my former bosses might have brought cookies for a superior, but my “yes” there is highly circumstantial: That boss was the editior-in-chief of Family Circle magazine (which ran cookie contests!) and went on to become the president of the James Beard Foundation — so food-related stuff was right up her alley, and related contextually to much of her work.
(This is the same boss who I once remembered as one of the most stylish women I've known, professionally!)
Readers, I can't wait to hear what you say — should this reader bring homemade cookies for her boss? If your answer is that it depends, what factors would be most important to your analysis?
Stock photo via Stencil.
The men in my office bring in baked goods all the time.
And how are things otherwise in Utopia?
I kid – I’m very surprised this is true though!
Not the anon above, but I am in NOLA and we have male attorneys who bring in king cakes during Mardi Gras and donuts during the year. Others do the same. I think it is ok to bring in cookies and I have brought in treats myself. My male boss has also.
Lol! I’m in San Francisco so it is utopia on this front. But otherwise a bit doom loopy.
Not at my office, it’s all women bringing in treats. It makes me sad and I don’t participate.
I worked in an office like this. It got to the point where male employees who didn’t work in our department would come in sniffing around for treats, and if there were none, they would say things like “no treats? Looks like you ladies need to get busy this weekend!” I kid you not. I never brought in anything (I also never ate anything that was brought in, not difficult as I’m gluten free). When my female coworkers would complain about the expectation that had been set to bring in food, I would try to gently say, the expectation would be broken if you guys would stop bringing stuff. But they never did.
Same. Food is definitely not a gendered thing in my office. I absolutely refuse to clean up the kitchen though.
But have they baked the treats themselves, or did they purchase or have SO cook?
My husband brings cookies to the office that he bakes himself. He will get a craving for homemade cookies, make them, eat a couple and then take the rest into the office so he doesn’t eat them all.
but fwiw, I do not bring homemade baked goods to my office. I will buy baked goods from our local bakery for the office about once a month; they do a way better job anyway. But I don’t bake in general.
I bring a ton of cucumbers and zucchini and tomatoes from my garden to the office though.
My husband does the same thing. I am a good cook, but I am not a baker. If baked goods come out of our house, my husband has produced them, and he’s pretty good at it – but baking recipes always make way more than we’re able to eat (or are willing to keep around) and so he ends up taking things to the office.
yeah, I think “picked up donuts at Krispy Kreme” has a different vibe than “baked cookies and brought them in.”
I posted above, lots of hobby male bakers in my office, the women tend more to picking things up but also bake on occasion. It’s not my personal thing but I like that this has moved on past the 90s good girls advice.
That’s great! This is not the case in most offices. I have never worked somewhere that men bring homemade baked goods for their bosses. I assume the question asker would not be so concerned if her office were similar to yours.
I just feel like if a man brings in cookies he baked, he’s an awesome Renaissance Man. If a woman brings in cookies she bakes, she’s still likely to be That Mom.
THIS
My husband brings homemade baked goods to the office regularly but he’s in academia so things are a bit more informal.
My husband bakes cookies for me to bring in. He is famous in my office even though no one has ever met him.
In my office the answer would be no because no one brings home made food ever and do it would be weird regardless of gender.
In every office I’ve been in, people brought in treats for their coworkers or teams… not their bosses.
This. Don’t gift up. But bringing in home baked food for people that work for you is fine in the places where I’ve worked.
Completely agree. I’ve brought treats for my staff but never for my superiors.
+1 agree. I thought about this a bit longer and I think it’s the “for your boss” that’s ick and no for me.
No. Your boss is coming to town? Have a good choice of work-friendly restaurants and coffee shop recommendations ready to go, not a homemade gift basket.
This!!
I do think there are limited situations where women can bring homemade treats to the office without it affecting their image negatively (see above where men also do this), BUT you likely know if you’re in one of those situations. In other words, if you have to ask, the answer is no.
This is reminding me of one time, years ago, when my otherwise-dearly-beloved boss included this on my annual performance evaluation: “Exceeds expectations in all areas (with the possible exception of ‘brings treats to the office’).” He was an state appellate court justice and I was his lead staff attorney. I think he was trying to be funny.
Ugh. That has to have been 20-plus years ago and I’m still mad.
That is gross, and 20 years ago is 2003, not ancient times. Times have not changed all that much – look at the supreme court rulings of late.
I recently joined a company that has quarterly performance reviews. One of the questions is what my manager can do to improve. How would you answer this? While of course there are things about my manager that occasionally drive me crazy, I actually like my manager a lot, but I feel so hesitant to answer this question. I don’t want to get in trouble or say something wrong.
Maybe “continue doing [things that I really like]?”
Continue building trust with employees. If you’re worried about blowback from giving your boss feedback, that’s a thing to bring up.
I like to bake. I am good at baking. But neither I nor my family needs to eat an entire cake/pie/batch of cookies. I have been taking extra baked goods to my office for literally decades. I did it as an associate. I continue to do it as a partner. It has never – one single time – hurt me professionally. I am taken seriously because I demand to be taken seriously.
I would not bring a whole batch of cookies to a visiting boss but bringing them in for the office and pointing them out to visiting boss would be a nice gesture.
I bring in treats too. I live alone and like to bake so if I want to bake, I pretty much have to bring it to work.
I don’t gift them to people. I just set them out in the legal dept. coffee station and send an email letting people know they are there. I don’t do it on any schedule. I just bring in things when I get in a baking mood.
I don’t eat things from other people’s kitchens unless I know them well. Because I have seen some kitchens…..
There is always at least one person who is precious.
So precious.
You never really know about restaurant kitchens either. Sometimes you have to take a chance.
I highly recommend you never go back of house in any of your favorite restaurants! Because I waitressed most of my teens and early 20s and I saw things, even in nice places with good ratings.
I’ve been at the same government organization for a year and two months, as a contractor. We had a major management turnover four months ago. I’m femme. And I love, love, love baking. With the previous team, I definitely brought in home baking – the vibe on the mostly-female team supported that. After the change in management, to a stale and male team, I am not bringing in one muffin – the vibe is hugely different. Their loss, and something for me to worry about.
I am at the head of my organization and also enjoy cooking. I regularly bring treats, both sweet and savory, to my office. Further, I cook a quarterly lunch for the office. The men cook and bring food to the office as well. It is part of my office culture. In prior positions, when I had a boss, I would not have brought in food for the boss. Bringing in food has not hurt my career, and in my office has been a way to boost morale and bring people back together post-COVID.
Yeah, I think it’s normal and nice to bring in food for colleagues or subordinates. Bringing something in just for the boss seems very weird!
In my office, we get the following kinds of treats:
Donuts
Garden produce
Homemade jam
Sourdough bread.
All of these come from the men.