This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Strappy heels are not for everyone — heck, these days it seems that heels aren't for everyone, either. Still, if you're in the group that likes strappy heels, this brand is definitely one to drool over.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: if you have problems walking in heels, heels with straps can be some of the easiest ways to start wearing them. They're also great for people like me, who have a relatively narrow ankle compared to a wider forefoot (aka “duck feet”) and “walk out” of all other types of shoes. I also like to wear strappy heels with tights in colder months.
These green lizard-effect heels from from Jennifer Chamandi are stunning. It seems so simple but I honestly can't remember a strap clasp being on the top of foot instead of on the side — I like how it almost takes the place of a minimal bow or other decoration.
The brand has a lot of strappy heels in neutral colors, but these green ones jumped out at me. Gorgeous, gorgeous.
They're available in Italian sizes 36-41 at NET-A-PORTER for $840.
Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
Colorado Springs?
I’m going with a friend to Colorado Springs over Labor Day weekend. We definitely plan to go to Garden of the Gods. Any other sites we can’t miss? We’re both in generally good shape and are up for hiking if there are any specific trails, too.
Anonymous
Manitou Springs is a short day trip from Colorado Springs. The famous hike there is the Manitou Incline. Be aware that Garden of the Gods is beautiful and worth visiting, but it’s very small. You can cover the whole thing in an hour or two, tops.
NYCer
Not sure where you are staying, but the Broadmoor is really beautiful. I think it is worth going there for a drink or lunch just to check out the grounds, even if you’re staying elsewhere. The Pikes Peak cog railway is pretty cool. If you get a bad weather day (or any day really), the USOTC and the Air Force Academy are also interesting too.
Cat
Kelly in the City (Insta) just stayed at the Broadmoor and it did look really nice!
Waffles
I stay at the Broadmoor every year for a conference and it’s fantastic.
Anon
I did a bike ride down Pike’s Peak who was a lot of fun.
Anon
Tell me about your 30th birthday?
How did you celebrate? Did you gift something to yourself or male a slurge ? throw a party? take a trip?
Did turning 30 change anything for you? Were you hoping for something or working towards a goal? What makes you laugh now looking back at when you were 30?
I’ve got 5 months of my 20s left but Im thinking about what ways I want to mark the last 10 years and the start of the next 10.
ALT
I turned 30 at the end of 2020 so all of the big international travel plans I had were shot to h*LL and my birthday party was cancelled due to a close friend testing positive for Covid and leading the rest of us to quarantine and test. Fun times!!!!!!!
What I had *planned* was a (solo) trip to Paris to do exactly what I wanted: look at art, shop, eat in cafes and wander. In reality I spent my 30th birthday alone on my couch with a glass of wine and my cat. It wasn’t a bad birthday but it was dramatically different from what I had planned and expected it to be. I still have not done my solo Paris trip yet but I think next year is the year.
Reflecting back on what I have learned so far in my 30s: I feel much more “myself” now than I did in my 20s. I don’t care about trying to be cool or doing what everyone else is doing, I want to do what makes ME happy. I am much more settled and stable than I was in my 20s and that has been hugely freeing—knowing I have a solid job with a good salary at a company with good people has really helped ease anxieties caused by a tumultuous work period in my 20s. I’ve gone to therapy to work on things that I didn’t want to carry with me anymore. I feel much more even-keeled and less reactive.
I spent SO MUCH of my 20s looking for The Guy because I didn’t want to be alone. Now, I’m single but I am happy with that choice (most days). I think about some of the guys I went out with in my 20s and truly cringe. I’m much more selective and less focused on appearances now.
Moose
Turned 30 in 2020 – will definitely not forget it! Had a small, distanced get-together with friends. Was too broke to do any major plans anyway – but had a great time and will remember it fondly. I definitely think there is too much emphasis placed on your 20s, and what they’re supposed be be like, what you’re supposed to accomplish…it’s been easier now to see how that is all BS. I also no longer care about being cool, and it’s freeing!
Anon8
Another 33 year old here! I turned 30 on March 8, 2020. So of course the pandemic shut the world down four days after my birthday. I wasn’t that worried about turning 30 beforehand but had a meltdown about my mortality once the pandemic happened. I did take a trip the weekend before my birthday to celebrate, which ended up being the last normal thing I did for like two years.
That said, looking back I’m like, oh, turning 30 is nothing. I’m happier and more successful and sure of myself now than I was when I turned 30, and the entire decade of my 30s feels young.
Anon
My husband and I went to Vegas (we were living in CA at the time so not a big trip). It was very low key, lots of pool time and good food.
My 30s have been a very happy, settled decade but I think that has more to do with our personal life circumstances than anything on the calendar (my husband is an academic who started his forever job at 30 so after years of moving around we got to live in one place, get a dog, buy a house, have a baby, etc.)
Anon
I was pregnant, hugely, so I had a slice of birthday cake and called it a day.
For my 40th, however, I had a bash at my house and friends from various walks of life came over. I had drinks and appetizers, two friends volunteered to make cakes (delicious!), and people played my piano and sang (unplanned) and we had a great time. It was the perfect party as far as I was concerned.
Anon
My mom and I went to Disney World. It was great!
I really thought I would have my life together by 30. I’m 38 and it still hasn’t happened. So try not to have expectations about where you are in life or what you should have accomplished by 30. I will say that my 30s have been way better than my 20s though.
Moose
The having expectations part – that’s been a big growth areas since turning 30 for me as well. Peers have gone through a lot, most out of their control – divorce, family with addiction, health scares – and it’s clear that the illusion that having it all or having your life together at a particular time is a farce. And that’s totally OK! And it’s trite but comparison is definitely the thief of joy. I’ve been able to relax more in my 30s.
Anonymous
bought myself a cartier watch
my parents bought me a $5k pearl necklace (they’re always classic but they were particularly in at the time)
i went out and got smashed with friends for the day
the 30s are your best years — seriously. you know yourself enough to be confident in love and work. you’re heading into great days.
Cat
I’m big on trips to celebrate just about anything but since my birthday is an annoying time of year to take a trip, I typically do something low-key on the day (whether that’s fancy takeout, indulgent brunch, whatever) and then observe my birthday when convenient, like Trooping the Colour lol. For 30 Observed, DH and I went to Paris.
I’m now almost at the close of that decade and, perhaps thanks to Covid and also largely abandoning any posts on social media, have gotten a lot more comfortable in my own skin.
Anon
Haha we do a Trooping the Color style birthday too. Mine is early May which is a lovely time to travel but kids are in school.
Anonymous
I took a trip with friends.
Anonymous
I closed on a condo the week I turned 30, so that was where a lot of my free money and time went. I took the week off of work to paint the new place, pack up my stuff and move, and then unpack at my new place. For my actual birthday, my husband and I went to a trendy restaurant with a tasting menu, and then met up with some more friends at a bar after for drinks. It was pretty much perfect. (I say that looking back now with a toddler and a house in the suburbs with very little opportunity to go to a fancy restaurant followed by a fancy bar for multiple drinks LOL).
Anon
I got a big tattoo :)
Anonymous
My 30th was 17 years ago. I didn’t do anything overly special or memorable. We probably went out for dinner and baked a cake.
I do have to say, though, that while not everything went as planned in my 30s, they were great and I enjoyed being a thirty-something much better than I did a twenty-something.
Anonny
Got the rhinoplasty that I’d wanted since I was in middle school (not on my actual birthday, but that was my gift to myself and I had the surgery about 6 weeks after my birthday). Nearly 13 years later and I am happy every day that I did it.
anon
I have no idea. Clearly 30 wasn’t memorable! I was also in the middle of the tiny kid years and probably didn’t have much energy to celebrate.
For my 40th, I wanted to do a trip, or at least throw a big party with my friends. Alas, I turned 40 in 2020, so that never happened.
Anotheranon
I am generally have a trip > party preference and got very lucky turning 30 in January of 2020. Went to Puerto Rico with my sister and our husbands right before the world shut down. It was so nice to be somewhere sunny and warm in the middle of a gloomy winter! My husband got me a pretty watch (that I picked out). It’s kind of cliche but I felt like I got to be really selfish and do a lot of things I wanted to do by myself in my 20s (travel) and turning 30 I felt like I was ready to move to the next chapter of my life (motherhood).
Anon
My then-BF insisted on throwing a surprise 30th birthday, despite the advice of my closest friend that I would hate it. I broke up with him that weekend.
Anon
I’m so sorry. But that doesn’t sound like a good long term match!
Anonymous
I went on a trip with my then-BFF. Her husband had tragically died a few months prior (the trip had already been planned) but she still wanted to go because she thought the trip would be a good opportunity for her to get away. She spent the entire trip talking to every person she met about her husband’s death. Like, we’re in the hot tub and a couple says, oh are you two on a girls trip how fun!, and she would say every trip will be a girls trip for the rest of my life because my husband just died and let me tell you the exact details of his death for the next hour while you struggle to find a polite way to leave because every time you try to interrupt or get up I have “just one more” thing to say. I felt especially sorry for the retail and hospitality workers she would corner. It was very uncomfortable. I didn’t see it at the time – I had never had a friend who lost their spouse and I wasn’t about to fault a recent widow for grieving – but it turns out that super self centered people don’t actually become less self centered when something horrible happens to them. She used her husband’s death as an excuse to take advantage of people for all types of things – even stole my credit card and ran up hundreds of dollars at one point. Needless to say we’re no longer friends. Come to think of it, I culled a lot of toxic people from my life in my early 30s and my life is so much better for it.
Anon
I was single, working in biglaw and threw myself a blowout party. It was so much fun. I did the same thing for 40 and plan to for 50. I’m a big believer in having parties for milestone birthdays. You can always take a trip, no excuses needed, but people turn up for milestone parties.
In terms of perspective, when I turned 30, I thought I was ancient, never going to find love, and that I had it all figured out. I look back and realize I was young, gorgeous and had nothing to worry about. Enjoy your 30s, date if you’re single, wear the short skirts and heels, stay out too late, travel and have a good time.
Anon
My then boyfriend took me out to dinner. (He broke up with me a month later.) My grandfather called at the end of the day to tell me he was dying.
Anon
It was the first birthday after my dad died, I was unemployed, and I was dealing with a whole bunch of other life shit at the time so honestly “surviving” was pretty much the goal at the time. I hated it. I just wanted my dad to be there.
nuqotw
+1. I’m so sorry. My dad was 30 when I was born, and died when I was 27. I spent my 30th missing him.
Anon
+1. I’m so sorry. My dad was 30 when I was born, and died when I was 27. I spent my 30th missing him.
Anon
Great question. I was in the throes of an intense training position so just went out to dinner, but for my 25th birthday I was in the middle of an intense life upheaval (displaced by hurricane Katrina, breakup of long term relationship, career change crisis) and decided I was going to celebrate myself. I made myself a bundle of champagne, fun makeup, chocolate, and bubble bath – put it in a giant pretty gift bag – and then convinced friends to go to a costume party with me that night. I remember being so unmoored, but deciding I was taking birthdays into my own hands and being and happy.
Anonymous
How would you handle this annoying family situation?
My senior citizen parents are insisting my sister and I visit together so the whole family can be together. It’s just us 4 – no husbands or kids. Last time we did this was in 2021 when my parents insisted we spend the pandemic together. Disaster. My older sister has a very hot and cold personality. She acted terribly and basically then had a SCREAMING fit that lasted hours telling my parents everything that is wrong with them, and me too – though 80 percent directed at my parents. Thing is she has ALWAYS been a mean screamer, but she’s daddy’s little girl so daddy has always overlooked it, said it was NBD. Mom has always taken it because of course she loves her daughter. So that’s created this type of 40 year old.
After this screaming and ranting fit, I decided I was done. My parents OTOH cried the next day and then it was all good. My dad just never speaks of it, my mom – oh it was NBD, she was just stressed, she is just lonely, she NEVER speaks badly to me now. I haven’t seen her in 2.5 years, which has been easy due to the pandemic and living 5 hours from her and 3 from my parents.
They have been insisting all year that we gather. I’ve avoided it but now feel like I need to get it over with at least once so that then I am free for the holidays. I’d much rather chill in my empty apartment for a week for the holidays, than go there and deal with this.
If I’m being honest my feelings are hurt not only at my sister but also my mother who while insisting we gather says – I don’t believe she’s mean to you. Despite HEARING it herself. But my parents play the – we’re older, we don’t remember – yet they’re quick to remember any extended family gossip they WANT to remember IYKWIM.
How do I do this? I live 3 hours away, so I can’t exactly go for one meal. I also don’t want to commit to being there for a whole week. Do I just show up when I know she’s leaving in 2 days? Or commit to whatever amount of time but then if it’s a bad time, make a point and leave?
FWIW this family does nothing. So this isn’t like an American family where you can say hey let’s go hiking or really anywhere today. Once you’re there ALL there is to do is sit in the living room. Even things like playing a game – everyone will mock that as a stupid idea. There is silent TV watching though.
anon
Can you just go for a weekend? Arrive on Friday and leave on Sunday. Maybe you have important work stuff to do or limited vacation time, etc.
Anon
Or even drive on Saturday, arrive mid-day, and leave by 4 or 5 on Sunday, perhaps.
Anon
Yeah – go for two days max. And it might be the Ohio in me, but I’ve done a day visit where it’s a six-hour round trip. It’s not my favorite, but its do-able.
Anon
You can totally drive 6 hours for a day trip! I’ve done it several times
Anonymous
Agree! We totally do this with family we don’t want to stay with. They are insulted if we get a hotel, so we just don’t stay the night. I also live in a big (landwise) but fairly rural state so we are used to driving all over.
Anon
Tell your family you can come for 4 days due to work. If it’s terrible, you got called back to work at the end of day 2, and leave day 3 morning.
Anonymous
no.
what’s the $ situation for all of you? can you encourage a family cruise or vacation somewhere where you can at least do your own things during the day and then just see them at dinner?
or, maybe i’d come a few days early so you can see your parents, overlap with your sister for 1-2 days, then go home.
anon
People who want to sit around the living room all the time are not the people who want to go on family vacations!
OP, if you’re up for it, plan on overlapping for a couple of days. But if your sister pulls her usual shenanigans, leave and say exactly why. Although I’m sure it’s painful for your parents, you are not obligated to spend days upon days with a sibling who treats you badly.
Anon
Ugh this sounds hard! My in-laws are the same about just sitting around the whole time. I seem to always have work emergencies or big projects that mean I can’t visit the whole time or I have to step away (there are no actual emergencies – I usually go to my room and watch Netflix). Could you commit to a visit but a week or so earlier, let everyone know that something big is happening at work and you may have to work during your vacation? You could use that as a reason for getting a hotel instead of staying with them, and then you have a reason to step away throughout the visit or even leave early? Good luck!
Anon
If you’re really not okay with seeing her, I think “no” is always a complete answer. You don’t need to justify it to them or have them validate your feelings or decision. I know it is painful that they don’t understand your feelings, but you’ll drive yourself crazy wanting them to view the situation the way you want them to. Instead, focus on what you can control and how you can honor your own boundaries.
If you’re happy to visit your parents when she’s not there, say, “I’m happy to visit you and Dad. Unfortunately, Sister and I aren’t on speaking terms and don’t have a relationship. I won’t be able to spend a week with her, but let me know when I can visit you both alone.”
If you’re okay with seeing her for a bit, I’d show up when they ask you to show up, even if it’s the first day she’s there. It is better to not set the grounds of bad energy if you want to avoid tension. If she’s cruel or unreasonable, you can always leave. It’s possible she’s genuinely changed though.
Anon
Sounds like you should decide if you are going to go at all or not. If you are going to go, sounds like you should limit your overlap to 1-2 days (don’t give an excuse just say “see you xx date” and then leave the same day as your sister). Good luck!
Anon
Go but stay in a hotel and have your own transport. Hang out silently etc. and the LEAVE. Treat yourself to room service, take yourself out to dinner, do some mall shopping, work out in the hotel gym. Go back the next day slightly refreshed. Leave if anyone screams at you.
Anon
This is exactly what I’d do.
Anonymous
My family of origin is dysfunctional too.
I chose to distance myself and have limited contact with some and zero contact with others.
If it were me, I wouldn’t go at all.
You have to decide whether maintaining this relationship is more important than your mental health.
Anonymous
I would try to stay clear of all-or-nothing thinking like this. That’s giving too much power to others over your mental health. Set what boundaries you feel comfortable with as you think about not just this instance but how to you see the future bear out. Perhaps you’ll do best with shorter trip, shorter trip with built-in away time, trip to see folks sans sister for now, trip to see folks with limited interaction with the sister at some point in the future but not yet, etc. Have pre-determined ideas on what will make you leave and a plan for how–this will help you feel more in control. Don’t feel obligated to try to conform to some version of your family that your parents set. But also remember that life is long. Things like spouses and kids that come along can often help buffer these interactions over time. The desire to see your parents may come to outweigh the unpleasantness of your sibling as you realize time with them is getting shorter. I’m estranged from my brother. It’s a difficult situation that still hurts my mental health in some ways, and more so now that I’m older and one of my parents has passed. Families are tough and sometimes there just isn’t a good answer no matter what you do frankly.
Anonymous
Setting boundaries one is comfortable with also includes limited to no contact. Now that I’m older I’m not interested in letting anyone have any power over my mental health, and not having to see certain people ever again -and others for short periods only sometimes- had such a positive impact on my mental health that I wished I’d made those choices sooner…
To be clear, I’m not advising OP to go no contact. From reading the post, it seems that OP’s mental health is negatively affected by these visits, so OP needs to decide which has more important…that could mean developing strategies to cope during the visit or not going at all…
Anonymous
My family is like this and so are my in-laws. I used to pout about it but now I am just grateful that DH gets it because so many people act like “oh your family is not that bad.” Sorry but people who scream at me every time I see them are not “not that bad.” I would not go at all. I would make up some excuse why you’re not able to visit. For us, it’s usually the kids. But you could book a trip and then tell them you can’t make it due to your trip. Or you could straight up lie and say you have a trip and then hang out in your peaceful apartment. These people aren’t respecting your feelings or boundaries; you don’t owe them a valid reason why you can’t come be miserable with them for a week.
Anon
Go, but stay in a hotel. Meet for one meal. Enjoy yourself in the city.
OR Don’t go. “No, I won’t be joining you.” Do NOT make up something like work or whatever. Just say “no.” Repeat a few times, then stop engaging.
Anonymous
I like the don’t-go/no excuses option. I have two grown daughters (not this situation, though) and I feel your parents have well earned a non-visit; in fact, they’ve nurtured it. Being a senior citizen isn’t a free pass for terrible behavior. And I (sounds like you too?) cannot stand sitting in the living room in front of a TV. In fact, I don’t have one.
That’s just me, though.
Anon
Can I put a baseball cap in the washing machine and wash it on delicate, or will that destroy the brim? I feel like washing it by hand doesn’t get it quite as clean but I also don’t want to ruin it. Thanks!
Maudie Atkinson
What is it made of? I put my cotton (or mostly cotton) ball caps in the top rack of the dishwasher on a regular cycle and hang it to dry. I might not do that with a wool cap, but I’ve done it with success for several of my hats, and my husband’s, that were cotton or mostly cotton.
anon
I have some random baseball cap from Amazon. I put it in a laundry bag and washed it on delicate. it came out fine. I let it air dry.
Anon
You used to have to get these on QVC, but now you can get them on Am@zon: https://tinyurl.com/48zhbmd2
anon
Put it in a delicates bag and wash as usual. It’ll be fine.
Anon
+1 this works for me
Anonymous
You can wash caps in the top rack of the dishwasher.
Baseball cap OP
Wow I would never have thought of using the dishwasher. You all are amazing, thank you for all the responses!!
Maudie Atkinson
These shoes are stunning.
Anon
Yes! Posting just to say the same! They’re gorgeous!!
Anon
YES!
Anonymous
They truly are! Gorgeous design, super flattering. Yay for female shoe designers…does anyone know whether they’re comfy too?
Anon
haha I agree they’re pretty, but there is no way shoes this high and pointy are comfortable. They’re sittin’ shoes at best.
anon
Petty vent: my FIL eats meat, meat, meat, plus potatoes and rarely a vegetable. He thinks all meals must have red meat. I grew up mostly vegetarian and that’s how I still am. I do the vast majority of the cooking in our house (me, husband, toddlers). FIL will invite himself over to use our pool and stay during dinner time. I’ll tell him that dinner is [whatever] and he’ll sarcastically say “oh yeah, wow, sounds greaaaaaaaaat. Looooove that quinoa!” And then insist on going out to the nearby grill or order wings/ pizza.
This annoys me. You come over to use my pool and then make fun of the food I’m feeding my family. The man is totally broke so my husband (and therefore I) pay for his takeout junk. Husband agrees it’s rude but also loves his dad way more than I do and is far more tolerant of what I perceive as rudeness.
Ok end rant.
Anon
Wow. Your husband needs to be better about pushing back. He’s using your pool and eating your food uninvited, he should suck it up and be grateful he’s getting a free meal!
Anon
+1 your husband needs to grow a backbone here
ArenKay
Agree completely.
Senior Attorney
Totally agree. Hubby needs to give FIL a heads up that (a) the rudeness and sarcasm are permanently off the table, and (b) if he expects to be fed dinner when he’s at your home, he will eat what’s on the table and quit the bellyaching.
anonshmanon
I was all like live and let live until the part where he orders his own food and makes his son pay??? What would happen if you just stop that part?
Cat
+1, your husband needs to say “sounds great dad, you’re welcome to bring your own food if you don’t like what we’re serving” – being rude and offloading the bill at the same time?!
Moose
This is 100% rudeness. Yeah I’d be annoyed too.
Anonymous
I’d keep a frozen pizza on hand and toss that in the oven for him. Way cheaper than takeout. My sympathies, though. Especially as the kids get older and pizza with grandpa is way more fun than quinoa with mom! I’d ask DH to nip the comments in the bud for that reason if nothing else – like dad please don’t get the kids riled up it’s hard enough to wrangle everyone.
Anon
The cheapest damn pizza the store sells.
Anon
I would limit the days he’s allowed to come over, like he’s only allowed over on Sundays do whatever reason and stop ordering food. He can eat what you cook or he can order his own food. The only tricky part here is that you and your husband need to be on the same page and that is often very difficult!
Anonymous
wow you are a way more patient person than me. I’d say he can eat what you make or bring his own food. I don’t think you need to feel obligated to pay for his take out at all!!! in fact you shouldn’t given his rude comments! my MIL is a very picky eater but she always comes supplied with her own stuff when she visits, or she goes out and gets take out (that she pays for) and she always tries a little of what we make even if she doesn’t want it. I can’t imagine also snarkily commenting on your food!!
anon
OP here, thanks for the feedback!! I don’t love my in laws generally so not sure if this was a BEC thing or he’s legit rude.
Luckily he’s not over very much so this hadn’t come up too often, but it has more so recently now that it’s summer. Husband is of the mindset that of COURSE his dad won’t eat quinoa or black bean burgers or whatever because in his 65 years on this planet he’s never had them, and he’s not about to start now. My mindset is that it’s rude to make nasty comments about other people’s food even if you do think it’s gross. Will ask husband to step in next time
Anon
My father would also be never eat quinoa and occasionally makes comments about our food being weird or whatever. I don’t think that’s that unusual and we just ignore him. It’s the demanding that you order – and pay for – takeout that really takes this into rude for me.
bird in flight
Same. I was going to recommend chalking the comments up to very annoying FIL behavior and ignoring, until it moved to him insisting you buy him alternative takeout. That’s too far and unnecessary.
Anon
This.
I love my parents and have a great relationship but they’d never eat what I eat (chia pudding!). I recognize that my dad is an older Irish Catholic meat and potatoes guy so if I’m hosting dinner I do choose something we all like. I ignore the comments or teasing about my food, it’s just so against anything he had heard of for the first 60+ years of his life.
That being said, my dad doesn’t demand that I buy him other food and doesn’t show up expecting dinner (we’re often already doing something then do an impromptu dinner, which is usually takeout we all like).
Anon
Nah, actively insulting her food choices is not normal, nor is it okay. You don’t have to be born recently to know that it’s impolite to yuck somebody’s yum.
Anon
I love that being over 65 somehow means quinoa is this disgusting mystery food that he can’t possibly eat.
Formerly Lilly
Totally agree! My 90 year old father eats whatever I put in front of him with gratitude. I haven’t subjected him to green smoothies for supper, but there’s very little else I haven’t served. It’s not the quinoa, it’s the dude.
Anon
Well a lot of foods are acquired tastes, and I get that not everyone is looking to acquire tastes throughout life.
I used to eat quinoa and black bean burgers all the time and liked them fine, but now I’m on a low fiber diet for medical reasons and they sound a lot less appealing I guess because of how I’ve had to get used to my new diet?
So I don’t think he has to like them or eat them; he does need to keep his opinions to himself and feed himself though!
Anon
My husband is 67 and would absolutely never behave like this! He’s a young 67 though.
Anon
Even my very open minded, lovely, kind, polite, and health conscious relatives in their 60s and 70s don’t try new foods.
I can get them to do turkey burgers and brown rice but black bean burgers and quinoa are a no go.
Anon
My in-laws think my quinoa-eating ways are weird, but they’ve never said a word and never complain about what’s for dinner.
Anonymous
+1. My in-laws will gamely consume my weird foods and then tell everyone about the interesting thing they ate at my house that was “so wonderful.”
Senior Attorney
Heh when my parents were in their 70s and I was in my 40s, they were the ones pushing quinoa and black bean burgers on me…
Anon
I think your husband is the cook when his dad is over. Period. End of story. You don’t have to be insulted because you’re not cooking.
Anon
That is unbelievably rude. I would just say, “sorry Phil, no can do on the pool today. We are having sprouts and quinoa for dinner and you don’t like that.” And hold firm on that meaning no pool time.
Anon
Your husband loves him. I would not have a problem with having frozen wings in the freezer and some bbq sauce for when he comes over. Yep, he’s a jerk but, depending on how often he comes over, you can find a work around. Some of us just have rude old parents. I am grateful that my husband tolerated my mom.
Anonymous
Not worth the argument. Eating quinoa is not some moral high ground. He’s being rude but a host also should be thinking of guests. I’d keep some frozen pizzas or the like in the freezer since peace is way better than the current awkwardness. You’re not going to convert him to your dietary preferences any more than he’ll convert you to his. Showing your kids and husband that he’s welcome despite your differences is the far more important point to make.
Trixie
wow, so rude. Well, I would 1. keep frozen beef burgers and rolls in the frig. 2. Serve veggie burgers and beef burgers, and side dishes when he is over. Repeat with other foods as necessary, such as grilled tofu and grilled chicken breasts. 3. Have husband talk to the dad and state “absolutely no discussion about the food.” 4. Tell him he cannot come over if he comments on the food. 4. Don’t pay for his take out junk.
Vein issues
Cross posted from the Moms site –
Does anyone have serious vein issues? I’ve had varicose/spider veins my entire adult life (and had some removed in my early 20s bc of discomfort), but WOW i was not expecting the changes post-(2) pregnancies. I need to schedule an appointment to start discussing options but frankly I’m a little terrified. I’m fairly sure I’m going to be diagnosed with chronic venous insufficiency given my symptoms (including ankle discoloration).
Anon
I had varicose vein surgery on one leg (from the knee down) after two pregnancies. It was an easy outpatient procedure. I spent maybe 8 hours at the hospital but half of that was waiting for my surgery. The doctor was delayed in his morning surgery. I was WFH the next couple days without issues. The marks from the stitches took a long time to fade though (like over a year) and actually looked worse than the veins. But my skin just scars easily. The doctor said those marks should have been gone within a couple weeks/months (don’t remember). I suggest you go to see a specialist who basically only does these types of procedures. I went to the “leg g-d” of my state.
Vein issues
Which state? I’m in NYC area.
Anon
I don’t have this issue, but my mom got varicose veins starting in her teens and by the time I was little and she’d gone through two pregnancies (and two all-natural childbirths), they were severe. Her upper calves looked like roadmaps of NYC, and she wouldn’t wear shorts because she was so self-conscious about them. Plus, then she started having leg pain and numbness that radiated into her feet. She got several consultations before the situation reached kind of a crisis point where she was in constant, pretty serious pain, and she got surgery on both legs at the same time. She was in the hospital overnight and went home the next day (I was in college at the time so wasn’t there and don’t remember hearing a lot of specifics). She still says the surgery changed her life for the better in so many ways and she wishes she had not waited so long to address the issue.
However bad it is now, without surgery, your issues are likely to get worse – I don’t think varicose veins/venous insufficiency issues can really get better over time. So do what you need to do now so you can continue to be healthy and active in the future.
Anon -- cool dress help needed
I saw a woman in a beautiful dress last night out for dinner at a nicer beach restaurant with her adult daughter and grandchildren:
— light kelly green and white print (sort of an ikat / floral abstract design)
— knee-length swing / tiered style
— full-length sleeves
— some lightweight fabric
— yoke of a slightly different print or I thought it was slightly different because there were PINK sequins scattered around the yoke seams (I thought it was a necklace at first).
I should have just burst out of my booth and asked her, but when I got up the nerve the woman was seated at the far back of a circular booth and I did not want to be That Crazy Woman shouting at a grandmother in a loud restaurant at the beach. I googled a bit when I got home but could not find it — not Lilly, not Tuckernuck, not Queen of Sparkles. Where to the very cool beachy grandmothers shop? [TBH, the whole family was stylish; I was wearing a tee with words on it.]
Cat
tommy bahama? vineyard vines? tory burch? sail to sable?
Anon -- cool dress help needed
Sigh. None of these. Next time I will strike the moment the thought enters my head.
Anon
Did you check Sue Sartor?
Anon -- cool dress help needed
Not Sue Sartor. Have never seen a sequin there. I am tragically familiar with their inventory as stalking it was the sport I picked up over the pandemic. Will check the other sites mentioned above.
Anonymous
farm rio?
Anonymous
I’d try the major department store websites. They have a huge inventory and you can narrow the search with color, neckline, etc. I thought I could do this, but Nordstrom’s has 24 pages of green dresses. I’m sure you can narrow it down to something reasonable to look through if you input the neckline and length, etc.
Anon
Sounds like what Tory Burch is famous for. But she could also be a home sewist.
Anon
If you were at a higher end restaurant then I would look beyond the usual mall/high street kinds of stores. Check on Net-a-porter.
Anon
The sequins make me think it’s potentially Jenna Lyons era J.Crew.
Anonymous
If she’s older it could also be a vintage piece…
I’m not sure what income bracket “nicer beach restaurant” caters to (nor do I want to know…) but have you considered something on the level of Chanel?
Anon -- cool dress help needed
It isn’t Chanel. I know Chanel and it has aimed at teen trust funders for decades — like I loved the pre-Lagerfeld Chanel, but this is too happy for anything they’ve done for decades. This had a gentle A-line shape and while very cute was also very sensible (worn by a grandmother; everything was covered; you could have worn it to church). Tuckernuck or something like that is the closest, but the sequins are throwing me. Maybe prior year Tory Burch? Also, not Farm Rio. I stalk there also and it’s too American-upper-middle-class looking for them. I do love FR, but it if had been 2021 or newer, I’d have recognized it.
Anonymous
To be fair, I did say “on the level of…” so not necessarily Chanel, just that level of fashion. I’m not familiar with the names of all the fashion houses so went with the one I did know…
Anon
I just want to say I love your depth of knowledge and analysis here.
Anon
I know! I don’t feel like anyone here is going to top this level of knowledge, so you may just be out of luck. But good to know we have a resident expert for this sort of investigation in the future!
Anonymous
I also wanted to express my appreciation for your fashion knowledge—it is super interesting.
Anonymous
Next time surreptitiously open the google app on your phone and snap a pick inside the app. It will search and tell you where to buy it.
Anon -- cool dress help needed
If I could travel back in time . . .
ALT
Pink City Prints? Oliphant Designs? SZ Blockprints? This sounds like a block print type dress, especially with the sequins
Anonymous
That was my thought too. Also try St. Bernard if you struck out at Tuckernuck.
Anonymous
Johanna Ortiz?
NYNY
Frances Valentine?
Anon
Johnny Was?
Anon
maybe not this one but similar?
https://poshmark.com/listing/Johnnywastie-dye-puff-sleeve-embroidered-midi-dress-m-649ff5a972f45fd3907fc3b2?srsltid=ASuE1wRjgmjhoLKLqjr1KhRJdH3If9IyOy0k1HGDxqFqkyRAFBxW5nQrWsI#utm_source=gdm_unpaid
Anon
Shorter link, better deal
https://www.mercari.com/us/item/m10763997799/
Anon
Poupette St Barth?
Anon
Serena and Lily?
https://www.serenaandlily.com/products/marea-house-dress/1010710?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIkduJ_YH7_wIVVQKtBh2tfgJnEAsYAiABEgIpRvD_BwE
Anon
Serena and Lily link in mod.
Anon
s e r e n a a n d l i l y
marea house dress
NaoNao
Perhaps Trina Turk? Also surprisingly ASOS loves their sequin items so it could be from them. Also when doing searches vintage or very high end designer seemed to come up the most.
Moose
Need a gut check on how to approach upcoming job interviews. Maybe I’m overthinking?
I got a degree in and worked in one field for four years. After that I have been working for the family business (my dad’s practice) for the past six years in an administrative role, and am interviewing at companies for similar roles. I began working there out of need – he had a employee with cancer that was having difficulty with the workload.
Do I mention it’s my dad’s business, or will that smack of “boss’s kid/nepotism” in a negative way? Will probably be hard to doge, since my previous education/career had nothing to do with my current one. Maybe it’s not a big deal? Don’t have a clear idea what folks in other companies may think of that situation.
Cat
This may come up in the context of people sussing out whether you’re biding your time before you go back to Original Field. I’d say “I originally switched to admin work when my family’s business desperately needed help, only to be pleasantly surprised that it was a better fit for my personality than my chosen field! Now that the business is stable, I’m interested in leveraging those skills in a bigger org” or something.
OP
Thanks for the suggestion – happens to be exactly my situation, and I don’t plan I going back to my original field, so this works!
Anon
You’d only be a nepo baby if you were the CEO. Just talk about it normally and how you helped the family business out when needed and now you can move on.
bird in flight
+1 be prepared to discuss what you actually did in detail, so it’s clear it wasn’t a blow off deal.
Anonymous
Thanks to all who recommended an energy audit from our electric company — we just had it done and it was really helpful (and free!) to get advice on our heating and cooling systems.
anonshmanon
Can you say what stuff they did – did they come in person? Did they look at efficacy/age of your specific systems?
I get emails (it used to be monthly letters and you could only opt out via the hotline) from my energy provider but they are always totally generic – consider lowering the thermostat, blah blah blah.
Anonymous
I have some long drives coming up with my husband and very inquisitive/sophisticated 7th grader – any great podcasts or audiobooks to recommend? I already have one bookmarked on the submarine guy’s history (the podcast is something about Backgrounds of the Bastards?) and hopefully we can finish Maddow’s one from last year (Ultra?).
Anon
Ologies is a great science podcast, but there is swearing (though she also makes Smallogies where the swearing is cut from some popular episodes). She interviews different scientists about their research and what excites them. There was a recent one on Black foodways that was incredible!
MBA Mags
My husband and I love Stuff You Missed in History Class, but the non-driver has to be in charge of skipping through the mid-podcast ads.
Notinstafamous
I really enjoyed “woman, captain, rebel” by Margaret Wilson. It’s a historical narrative nonfiction / biographical account of a female sea captain in Iceland in the 1800s. The audio book feels like a novel.
Vicky Austin
That sounds amazing – and reminiscent of another book that’s been on my list for a long time, A Woman in the Polar Night by Christiane Ritter.
Moose
I LOVE 99% Invisible. A great podcast about design/cool stuff you’d never know about, and family-friendly.
Anon
Chasing the Thrill about the Forrest Fenn treasure hunt! It’s an audiobook.
AIMS
My kids are younger but our whole family loves Stuff You Should Know. There are tons of episodes so you can choose according to interest.
Cat
Bill Bryson did an audio recording of a Short History of Nearly Everything. His humor books from decades past haven’t all aged well but that one is fascinating to me.
Anon100
if your family is into food and science, gastropod! it’s one of my favorites, plus most episodes are at least 40-50min long.
otherwise I agree with the rec of 99% Invisible.
Anon
Atlas Obscura is a fun one, too!
Anon
In case you’re still reading here, you may have bookmarked Behind the Bastards. It’s a good podcast, but just know there’s a lot of swearing and talk of violence in that one in case that matters.