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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 170 Comments · by

Frugal Friday’s TPS Report: Chelsea Cardigan Sequin Dot

The Personal Shopper (TPS)· Under $150

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Chelsea Cardigan Sequin DotIf you're looking for an inexpensive (yet not trashy) way to “festive” up your regular working wardrobe, I'm really digging this black-on-black sequin dot cardigan from New York & Company, also available in white and blue. The black on black, in particular, seems fun and holiday-like, without being totally inappropriate for work. The site is offering “buy one get one 50% off,” which I think extends to all of their Chelsea cardigans — you may also want to take a look at the lace version, which I also like a lot. By itself, the sweater is $50. Chelsea Cardigan Sequin Dot Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-5)

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Comments

  1. NOLA

    Yeesh. Having a bad morning. And why did I not think of buying a sequin skirt for this party I’m going to tonight? I may have to run out at lunch. So overwhelmed.

    • Ellen

      Hug’s to you, I am the same today, but it will get better! YAY!

      I love Fruegel Friday’s and this look’s like a pretty good start for me after a DISASTER yesterday with Fred. He came here early to pick me up, and was flirteing with Lynn. I ignored that, but we then got a car to take us over to the Barcleay’s Center, and he was stareing at a girl on the corner of Park and 29th Street, and he made ME carry the 5 pound bag of dog biskit’s that were for Myrna’s Shnauzzer. Then, when we stopped at Myrna’s office to give her the dog biskit’s, he was stareing at her, and she told me later he was creepey; then we went to dinner and he did NOT want me to order anything other then the salad, even tho I told him I was fasteing all day so that I could have another appetizer; then we watched the game (the Net’s lost –FOOEY), and then he got us a car to take us back to Manhattan, and when we were in the car, he put his smelley hand under my blouse without permission. When I told him I would NOT let him do that, he said that we could do that back in my apartement. So I said NO, you are goeing home, not up to my apartement. I did NOT let him get out of the car, and had the driver take him directely back to Grand Central where he was suposed to get on the train (about 1230 am).

      I can not believe a feed store guy could think that buyeing me dinner and a ticket to see guy’s jumping up and down with a basketeball gives him a license to squeeze my boobies! FOOEY! I will NOT go out with him again and will tell Rosa to tell Ed not to have guy’s like Fred come into my life. He can get some other woman for that, but not me. DOUBEL FOOEY on HIM!

      Myrna is comeing over tonite so that we can go over this mess. YAY! She had the same issue with Olak, or whatever his name that guy from Brazil is. TRIPEL FOOEY on men that just want us for sex. We are alot more than sexueal object’s.

    • zora

      Aw!!!! that is the worst feeling. :o( I am on a call since 630 my time which is a complete waste of my time and i am super annoyed and angry, and want to stab myself in the eye.

      • zora

        also, just wear what you have!! You will still look fabulous, but don’t give yourself one more thing to worry about. cut yourself a break. HUUGGSSS

    • Calico

      In case you’re near a JCPenny, I just bought a cute Joe Fresh sequin skirt there yesterday. On sale, too.

      • NOLA

        I was looking at a Daniel Cremieux skirt on the Dillard’s website. It’s in the same mall as Penney’s. Given all of the really stressful cr@p at work, I don’t know if I can leave and the party is at 6:30. The problem is the weather. It’s hot right now but could be 60 by the time of the party.

        • Calico

          Oooh! That one is much nicer than mine. I love it in the bronze color. I just looked at mine on JC Penny’s site and WOW I should have tried it on first. Waaaaay toooo short. Oh well. Hope the party is fun!

  2. Anon for this

    Early threadjack: does anyone have recommendations for a really good ob-gyn in New York City (UWS preferably), who has a lab in the office? Without being TMI, I’m suffering from some really frustrating monthly issues and my current doctor a) thinks it’s normal to just prescribe a week of antibiotics every month without trying to get at the underlying problem b) doesn’t have a lab in the office, so I have to wait 2 weeks to get results every time I go in for something that can (and has been in the past) diagnosed immediately.

    Hugs to anyone who has a recommendation!

    • Batgirl

      Kathleen Mulligan — but she’s on 14th and 8th. No lab in office, but there’s a Quest lab the floor below her (not sure if they do only blood work). She’s no nonsense, but I generally like her.

    • preg 3L

      I don’t know about a lab in the office but they might have one — St Lukes Roosevelt OB/GYN on CPW and 86th. That location has 4 women doctors, Drs. Rhee, Shulina, Roston, and Bradley, and their number is (212) 603-4173.

    • KLG

      Ugh, this totally happened to me with an Amazon purchase for my husband last Christmas. I expected it to come inside an amazon box (like usual), and instead it came in its own box with an amazon label on it so my husband (who gets home before me) thanked me for his gift when I got home.

    • LizNYC

      My husband takes particular joy in reading every package label that comes in, which usually reveals the contents, (he gets home earlier), plus shaking the boxes. You’d think he was 4, not 34. *sigh*

      • tesyaa

        My husband ignores all packages, even ones he ordered for himself. He might order shirts or pants from Lands’ End and let the box sit in his closet for a week or more without opening. Meanwhile, when I get a package, I open it even before I remove my coat; no matter if I know it’s only a pair of socks or something even more trivial, I have to open it right away.

        • TBK

          I think we’re married to the same man. It just kills my frugal Yankee self to find shirts and pants and things unopened months later. If you didn’t need the thing (which you clearly don’t because you haven’t used it) why did we spend money on it?

      • Sydney Bristow

        My boyfriend shakes all his Christmas presents. I wrapped one yesterday that had been shipped to me so I left the bubble wrap and packing peanuts in the box so he can’t guess what it is.

    • Mountain Girl

      I have my packages shipped to the office as does nearly half the hospital staff. Clearly our shipping personnel are saints and deserve extra pay during the holiday but they seem to enjoy it as much as everybody else. Today they were wearing elf hats and delivery packages.

      • Anon

        I made the super-professional oversight of forgetting to change my Amazon shipping address from my office (for a work-sponsored Toys for Tots drive item) back to my home address (for my monthly diaper delivery). Nothing supports your executive image like a giant box of Pampers in your office.

        • Blonde Lawyer

          This cracks me up. I guess it could be worse. At least it wasn’t a bulk order of condoms or yeast infection cream or something.

    • Senior Attorney

      On a somewhat related note, I have to include a detailed customs declaration on the outside of every package I ship to my Marine in Japan. I just sent off two boxes this week including such contents as “Gummy Life Savers, value $1.00,” “Oreos cookies (4 packages), value $4.99 each,” and “Ramen noodles (dry), value $.15,” in addition to bigger items like “DVD, value $25” and “Novelty T-shirt, value $25.”

      Fortunately he is good about ripping off the labels and tossing them without reading them. At least that’s what he tells me! LOL

  4. Baconpancakes

    Calling Parfait – Just caught up on yesterday’s threads, and you should be able to go to your Netflix account (on your computer), check Manage Profiles, and Edit, Delete Profile. I deleted my old roommate’s profile after he moved out (and promptly changed the password).

  5. Kate

    TJ-
    Would it be weird to send a holiday card to someone who I consider a mentor and with whom I would like to develop a stronger mentor relationship in the future? The complication is that he is from the city where I summered and not where I attend law school, so I’ve only seen him once when I was in the city interviewing, and once almost a year later when I was a summer. Now I won’t have the chance to see him again for another year until I return as an associate. Any other advice for staying in touch? I am not sure how to preserve this relationship.

    • Anon

      I don’t have an answer but I would like an answer! Any of the more experienced ladies have thoughts?

    • mascot

      If you go the holiday card route, I’d suggest using something that is business appropriate. I’d stay away from sending the picture of your dog/kids playing in the snow personal type of card that you send to friends and family.

    • (Former) Clueless Summer

      I think it’s nice and wish I had done a similar thing in your situation (they sent me a holiday card and I was like damn, that’s nice).

    • Abby Lockhart

      I think this is what holiday cards are made for — keeping in touch with people you don’t keep in touch with on a more regular basis and letting them know you consider them important enough to include on your list.

  6. tesyaa

    What would you do about a pencil skirt with a great cut and fit that wrinkles like crazy? I have heard complaints about J. Crew cotton skirts that wrinkle badly. Mine is Loft. In any event, do I keep or toss? Even if I iron it before every wearing, it’s wrinkled by mid-morning.

    It’s cotton/spandex and it’s really more of a spring/summer item, but I just noticed it hanging in my closet this morning and I’m so torn because I love the style.

    • Anon

      Do you have a tailor you could ask to use it as a pattern for making you a new skirt in a better, non-wrinkly fabric? If so, then do that. Otherwise, toss.

      • tesyaa

        Sigh. I can’t justify using a tailor since I have a bunch of black pencil skirts already. Thanks for the advice; I guess I knew it was going in the toss pile but I wanted to hear it from someone else.

        • Anon

          Oh, not necessarily in the same color. I meant taking it to a tailor and saying hey, i love this cut/style and I want it in blue tweed (or whatever) – and seeing if they can use this perfect cut to make you new skirts you love.

  7. help! skinny jeans and ankle boots

    For those of you that wear skinny jeans and ankle boots, do you tuck your jeans into the boots or wear them shorter or cuffed? Have you been encountering the inevitable weirdness when your jeans either bunch around the tops of the boots or aren’t quite skinny enough? It feels like I need a whole new jeans wardrobe to go with my ankle boots.

    • Anonymous

      I usually cuff mine to hit right above the ankle boot. If I go the tuck in route, I like it to be a little messy looking and it usually only works with the right combination of boot and jean. So that it looks like they just go together — completely unintentional chic. ;)

    • zora

      This is the bane of my existence and the number 1 cause of me being late in the morning: is matching the height of my boots to the length of my jeans. Certain jeans fit with certain boots and not others. I have no solution, except I have found myself looking for slightly higher shafts on ankle boots when I am online browsing, just because of this problem. ;oP

      • help! skinny jeans and ankle boots

        Okay, I’m just glad to hear I’m not the only one. It makes getting dressed so unnecessarily complicated! I just want to put on pants and shoes and be done like a normal person, but no; I’m trying on different pairs of jeans and assessing their degree of taper against the height/width of the boot opening #annoying

        Glad to hear others feel my pain. If you can recommend any boot/jean pairings that have worked especially well, please share!

      • Sydney Bristow

        I saw a teenager on the subway this week wearing acid wash jeans cuffed at the ankle and what I think were Keds and short white socks with lace at the top.

    • Taylor

      I always cuff so that a tiny bit of my ankle is showing. Sort of like this: http://jeans.about.com/od/JeanStyleGuide/ss/Shoes-To-Wear-With-Skinny-Jeans_5.htm

      My legs aren’t long enough (a la Rose HW here: https://www.thesolemates.com/blog/ankle-boots-are-all-the-rage-but-how-do-you-wear-them-for-fall/) so wear them uncuffed without dealing with the “weirdness” you’re talking about (I know exactly what you mean!) I’d have to get new skinny jeans with a smaller leg opening, which don’t work with homegirl’s athletic thighs.

    • Taylor

      I always cuff so that a tiny bit of my ankle is showing. Sort of like this: http://jeans.about.com/od/JeanStyleGuide/ss/Shoes-To-Wear-With-Skinny-Jeans_5.htm

      My legs aren’t long enough (a la Rosie HW here: https://www.thesolemates.com/blog/ankle-boots-are-all-the-rage-but-how-do-you-wear-them-for-fall/) so wear them uncuffed without dealing with the “weirdness” you’re talking about (I know exactly what you mean!) I’d have to get new skinny jeans with a smaller leg opening, which don’t work with homegirl’s athletic thighs.

    • Yugo18

      I always tuck in my jeans/pants into the boots – clearly, my pants are uniformly really, really skinny since I’ve never really run into this problem. I do recall wearing the one old pair of straight-cut jeans I have together with my awesome high-rise ankle (mid-rise, then?) boots. I just carefully folded up the bottom edges of the pants and stuffed them carefully into the boots. The end result was still a little bumpy here and there, though, with the jeans just unwilling to stay down smoothly tucked in. So, I think the best idea is pretty much to wear really skinny pants.

      • Yugo18

        Another easy idea for weekend-wear is to just wear leggings and aforementioned ankle boots. It = awesomeness and smooth lines. All my boos are flat, though, and I am not sure I would enjoy this look with heeled boots! :)

  8. Sydney Bristow

    I’ve pretty much given up on NY&CO sweaters. They start out ok but after about 10 washes I find that the sleeves get all stretched out by mid-morning. I tend to switch back and forth between pushing my sleeves up and keeping them all the way down throughout the day so this really annoys me. I’m on a mission to find better quality cardigans that don’t do this. Surprisingly, my Merona cardigans from Target don’t have this problem but they start to look kind of off somehow before the end of the season.

    • zora

      Ha! I thought i was the only one who constantly pushes up my sleeves and then pulls them down again. Yay, I’m not alone in my weird habit! ;o)

      I actually really like my Lands End cardigans, they are the classic cotton ones. They cost a little more than the Merona ones but they hold up better.

      • tesyaa

        The nice thing about Lands’ End is that if it doesn’t hold up the way you’d expect, you can send it back, even after a year or more (forever, really). I’ve done this in the past, though admittedly not recently.

      • Sydney Bristow

        Cool I’ll check those out. A JCrew merino tippi cardigan is hopefully being delivered today. I have my fingers crossed on that one but they are expensive and it will be a pain to constantly be waiting for a 25-30% off day to order more!

      • Mountain Girl

        I feel like I beat this drum all.the.time. but I love the Christine cardigans from Eddie Bauer. They are always in their inventory with interesting, seasonal colors. I tend to push up/pull down my sleeves as well. The Christine cardigan has a long cuff that seems to hold up to this abuse but I find that the way the cuff is slightly fitted/ribbed I don’t tend to want to push them up quite as much anyway. They wear wonderfully and, like Lands End, if they don’t hold up they guarantee them forever. Oh, and best of all, they are 40% off today!! AND THEY COME IN TALL!!

  9. AIMS

    For those of you who like BB, all their ladies apparel is 40% off today. FYI.

    Now for a tj: is a 100% cashmere coat really that much warmer than a wool/cashmere blend? If I get one, will I still need a down jacket for those really cold windy winter days we get once in a while? I’m in NYC for reference.

    • BB

      Wool and cashmere will never be windproof, which is what I find makes the most difference on cold winter days. I can have a down jacket on, and I find that if it’s windy, the cold air just whips right through it and takes away any warmth I might have built up.

    • TO Lawyer

      I’m in Toronto but I think yes – you will still need a really warm jacket for those cold/windy days. We get them less often than other places in Canada but I am always so thankful for my parka-looking jacket. I don’t think a wool or wool/cashmere is enough for all winter days in this area.

      • BB

        Agree. I thank god for my windproof gore tex parka on days like that. I go outside and feel NOTHING! :)

    • Godzilla

      I finally purchased a Lands End down jacket after 10 years of wearing wool coats only and there is just no comparison in terms of warmth. None whatsoever. Layering under a wool coat does not come anywhere close to being as warm as wearing silk in a down jacket. For most days, wearing a thick sweater under the wool coat is okay for NYC winters but you know those miserable days? You want a down jacket.

    • Cat

      Yes – if it’s windy + cold, my looks-flimsier Burberry quilted short coat is actually warmer than my looks-cozy wool/cashmere knee length coat, because it blocks the wind SO much better.

      • AIMS

        Thanks, all. I was ogling a cashmere coat and trying to justify the cost based on it being the only coat I’ll need, but I guess down is really pretty essential. Now, I just have to figure out how warm of a down coat I actually need. Decisions, decisions.

    • Philosophia

      AIMS, thanks twice for the BB sale tip! I just got on the horn and ordered two pairs of work pants that I have been (as thissites’ denizens say) stalking for months now.

      Last winter I finally replaced my old down parka with the LE long commuter coat. It has a two-way zipper and a walking slit in the back, so you can move in it, and is quilted down with a polyester shell, but doesn’t scream polyester by any means. With suitable layers, it’s been doing a fine job of blocking twenty-below wind chills. That may be overkill for NYC, but I definitely second the idea of having something made of down under a wind-resistant shell among your coats.

      • AIMS

        So glad you got your pants! I love their winter sales.

        I may look into the LE coat. Overkill for NYC would work for me because I hate being cold. I’ve looking for a more structured down coat, maybe something belted, but I may just opt for warmth above all else. Thanks for the tip.

  10. BB

    Random gushing…

    I just bought my first pair of Wolford pantyhose yesterday and OH MY GOD, I am amazed at how different the material feels from my normal drug store ones! It’s like the difference between those Glad disposable food storage containers and real Tupperware. It feels so much more substantial and tough. Now I understand those of you who swear that they last years. That didn’t seem possible to me before.

    • LilyB

      ugh, really? I can’t fathom spending $30-40 on pantyhose. I understand they’re more durable, but I just know that I would get a run in them and be like F***, I just blew $35. What if you brush up against something sharp accidentally, or have a jagged edge on your nail? Do they resist those types of accidents better?

      • BB

        So, I am a bit freaked out that I will run into something sharp in them, but then, that’s a problem for all my clothes, not just pantyhose. I actually just noticed a snag in one of my St. John knit jackets that must have come from me running into something sharp. I did catch the pantyhose on my nail yesterday and didn’t notice any problems though.

      • Anon in NYC

        I have found that generally a jagged edge on your nail will not really damage the tights (maybe on more delicate hose it would). I have also found that if I somehow got a hole in the tights that the material is sturdy enough that I can sometimes get a few more wears out of them until the tights began to run (obviously I only do this if the hole is in a non-visible place). I have one pair of pumps that seems to scratch against my tights and it will cause some visible irritation on the tights, but they are otherwise undamaged. If any of those things happened with drugstore brands, or even Hue, I’d have to replace the tights right away. I’ve had drugstore brands tear while I was putting them on, and I typically only get 2-3 wears out of them before they fall apart.

      • Anita

        Honestly, they really are more durable, in my experience. My Wolford tights from 2 years ago have no snags or runs and I don’t treat them especially gently.

    • Anon in NYC

      I love Wolford – both the feel of the material and the quality. I’ve tried to use drugstore brands or Hue to save money, and I find myself spending more because I have to keep buying replacement pairs. A pair of Wolford tights will last me at least 1 season with almost daily wear. The sheer hose also lasts for substantially more wears than other brands.

  11. Cole Haan PSA

    Hi Ladies,

    Just wanted to share a find on the TJMaxx website (I was surprised they had one). Striped air violets are marked down to $49 in the berry color and while it has them marked as $69 for the black, they went into my cart at $49 as well. Most sizes are still left and its free shipping if you make a $99 order with the promo code “Merry”. Looks like you can return in store as well, but don’t quote me on it. These were originally $328 at Cole Haan.

    http://tjmaxx.tjx.com/store/jump/product/shoes/departments/pumps/Violet-Air-Pump/1000000155

  12. Sweetknee

    Good morning ladies. I really like the sequin chevron sweater linked above. Might have to go check it out.
    Now for the TJ. Can I get some input from the hive on Botox ? I am 42 years old and have just started noticing the droopy frown lines between my brows and some crow’s feet. I was wondering how many of you guys have done Botox, the approximate cost, and how you felt it worked for you. It is my understanding that it is sold by the “unit”, but how much does a unit cover ? How long does it last ? Bonus points if anyone can tell me about experiences with Juvaderm too. I have lost 100 + pounds in the last two years, and those nasolabial folds are starting to make me feel like a bassett hound !
    Hope everyone has a relaxing weekend. I am off to my hometown tonight to sit with my 99 year old grandmother for the weekend, who is hospitalized with pneumonia. She has some dementia and other issues, and my mom and aunt have been at the hospital 15 + hours per day for the last several days. I am going to try to give my mom and aunts a break and stay all day tomorrow and a few hours on Sunday.

    • Anon

      I have done Botox just on my frownies (so one shot on the inner edge of my eyebrows and one in between them). Nowhere else and no other products. I’m in my early 40s and started maybe a year ago and do this about 3x/year for about 250 per time. I’m OK with aging but not OK with looking as cranky as I was looking.

      FWIW, I’m in law, so I think the market values age and experience but at a certain point, you need to be well-aged but looking frozen or obviously done I think would be worse.

      • TBK

        I find this amusing just because I know exactly what you mean about the legal market and looking “obviously done.” There can be some real nerdy girl snobbery in our field (especially in the DC area!). Looking too fashiony or like you’re trying too hard can be more damaging than being dowdy.

        • Anon

          Seriously. I had to say when queried about whether I wanted more here or more there or what about these smile lines that it’s OK to leave them alone b/c of the industry I work in. It’s like the difference b/w being a Shakespearean actress and a reality star “actress” — one has to be frozen and one can’t be frozen. It’s a delicate dance.

      • Senior Attorney

        I know you didn’t ask about this, but after my big weight loss a few years ago I had a lower facelift, which took care of the turkey neck (formerly double chin) and nasolabial folds very nicely. It was expensive but not terribly painful and I swear on a stack of Bibles that I look like myself only not saggy.

        And big hugs and best wishes about the grandma situation!

    • Sydney Bristow

      No advice but i wanted to say congratulations on the weight loss and I hope your grandmother starts to feel better.

    • Anonymous

      I am about 10 years younger than you and get Botox for the vertical creases between my eyebrows and for horizontal lines on my forehead. I get 20 units and still look natural/not frozen (i.e., I can lift my eyebrows but the Botox prevents me from having lines when my face is at rest). I get it about every 5 months, and it costs $150-$200. I go to a plastic surgeon in LA.

  13. Funny tights problem

    You ladies might enjoy this. My friend is starting a new job today with a more public-facing role than any she’s had before. She bought some new clothes, including a dress and new black tights for the first day, and per the frantic text I just received, she just discovered that the tights are not, in fact, plain black, but are actually leopard print. Out of all the things that can go wrong on the first day of a new job, finding out you accidentally bought leopard print tights an hour before you meet your new boss has to be up there!

    • tesyaa

      I do think that’s funny, if it’s happening to someone else :P If she didn’t notice they’re leopard, maybe it’s subtle enough that the boss won’t notice either.

  14. Anon

    Does anyone have a recommendation for a good therapist in downtown/Financial District Boston? I’m feeling fried at work and I think I need to talk to somebody, but of course I barely have time to leave work as it is. :p!

  15. I'm Just Me

    I purchased a thissite feature on Black Friday. It was the plum version of the Jones New York Long Sleeve Crew Neck Wool Jacket that was featured on Thursday, 11/7. It was 50% off. It arrived yesterday and it fantastic, I’m really excited about wearing it one day next week.

  16. Nellie -- quick gift help?

    Long story why it’s now a last-minute thing, but does anyone have a great gift idea in the $25-$50 range? For a girlfriend for a 30-something birthday. I’m in a major city and have access to lots of stores nearby— was hoping to find something during lunch.

    • LilyB

      If you have access to Zara, they have a lot of cute jewelry in that range (and Duchess Kate just wore one of their blingy necklaces with her Roland Mouret dress, it looked amazing). Like a cute cuff or earrings or something.

    • Back Home

      Several people on my holiday list are getting Google Chromecast ($35) this year because it seems really cool and useful. BestBuy and Staples both have it and I would guess most electronics stores do as well. Also the Urban Decay N@ked 1/2/3 palettes are really nice if you are near a Sephora. I think they are right at $50. The N@ked 3 seems pretty new so even if she has 1 and/or 2, she might not have the 3rd palette.

      • Cb

        Ooh, I want one. I bought a bluetooth speaker which seems fun and useful, especially when you just want to have a bit of music in the kitchen. I also bought an emergency phone charger thing (the size of a tube of lipstick) for a Christmas cracker present. I also bought my mom a clever dripper single cup coffee maker for her birthday and she loves it.

  17. TBK

    Ladies, I’m home! I was unexpected discharged from the hospital because everything was actually looking pretty good. It was the first piece of good news we’d gotten and we are so happy (my doctor was, too – I think she was positively elated). Things are still a bit touch and go, and I’ll probably wind up in the hospital again toward the end, but it looks like I’ll at least be home for the holidays. And my midwife seemed to feel that my risk of going into labor in the super scary 23-28 week range had really gone down. I’m still on bed rest at home, and my husband will barely let me get up just to get a glass of water, but I’m on my own couch with my dog (I was going to miss him if I was in there for three months!) and I can sleep through the night (in my own bed, with my husband) without nurses coming in every few hours to give me a pill or an IV or take my blood pressure.

    • Sydney Bristow

      Oh that’s such great news! Hopefully you’re much more comfortable at home even though you’re still on bed rest. Thinking good thoughts for you!

    • mascot

      Woo-hoo! Glad for this good news. Dogs are great for snuggles and lowering blood pressure as an added bonus.

      • Famouscait

        +1 to this. Dogs have magical curative powers. It comes from the warm nose and abundance of love.

        Maybe indulge in some yummy sheets for Christmas or a new pillow to keep things spiffy? So glad you’re well TBK!

    • Anon

      I added you and yours to my 21 month old daughter’s prayer list this week. Baby prayers are strong, yo, so I’ll keep them coming.

    • Also in Academia

      That’s great! Good thoughts to you and please keep letting your husband (and others!) do things for you.

    • OCAssociate

      Amazing news! I’m so relieved for you. Good luck with bedrest, it must be so much nicer at home with your husband and puppy.

    • zora

      YAYYYY!!! I am so glad you get to be home!! It’s so much better to be home than in the hospital, but good luck sitting still, which I know still isn’t easy. ;o)

      Definitely keep us updated! thinking about you and the babies all the time.HUGS

    • LizNYC

      So glad to hear it! Now you can discover just how many places do home delivery during the day (I’m thinking groceries, etc.) while you rest up ;)

  18. Anonymous

    How would you pack for this trip? I am leaving on a whirlwind adventure which looks like this:

    Several days in California – casual but will be meeting with multiple professional contacts. Could probably get away with dark jeans and sweaters
    One week in Puerto Rico – also casual but should have a couple nice dresses for Christmas dinner
    One week in Hong Kong – casual, but need a NYE dress and will probably be going out a lot
    Two and a half weeks in southeast Asia – first week is work, but will be working with a client who says dress code is “very casual” and wears jeans and t-shirts. However, should probably dress at least one step up from them. End of the trip is casual/travel.

    I will not be able to stop at home for any of this trip (so everything I need needs to be in one (small) checked bag) but I want to pack as little as possible (as everything has to come with me!) and leave some room for souvenirs. I will certainly need to find opportunities for laundry (should be easy in the CA and PR portions, less sure about HK/SE Asia)

    • BB

      The good news is that you won’t be going through many different climates. I think CA will be your coldest, but it will also be pretty temperate in HK/SEA right now. My quick advice is bring “late spring” (like 70 degree weather) clothes and some things to layer for CA.

      Also, it will be extremely easy for you to find laundry places in HK. There are laundry shops everywhere that will do pick up and delivery (or drop off/pick up is fine). They are also very cheap. Normal laundry can be done within a day and dry cleaning usually takes 1+ day because I think they usually send those to some more centralized place unless they’re a dry cleaning shop. I am not sure about SEA though. When I worked in Bangkok I was in a hotel, so they did the laundry for me. The other issue is that there’s less English spoken there (unless you’re in Singapore, in which case the HK advice applies), so going into a local laundry shop or even finding one might be a challenge.

    • LilyB

      I would do some sort of versatile black sheath dress that can do triple duty- for your professional meetings in Cali, for Christmas dinner in PR, possibly for NYE (bring a blingy necklace). Then some nice dark wash jeans for Cali and Asia (2 pairs probably since you won’t be able to do laundry very often), a couple cardigans/t-shirts (of the nicer variety), swim suit, cover up, one pair heels, one pair sandals, one pair walking shoes… honestly I’m not sure I’d be able to do it in one small suitcase with room to spare, but maybe other ‘rettes are better packers!

    • LilyB

      I would do some sort of versatile black sheath dress that can do triple duty- for your professional meetings in Cali, for Christmas dinner in PR, possibly for NYE (bring a blingy necklace). Then some nice dark wash jeans for Cali and Asia (2 pairs probably since you won’t be able to do laundry very often), a couple cardigans/t-shirts (of the nicer variety), swim suit, cover up, one pair heels, one pair sandals, one pair walking shoes… honestly I’m not sure I’d be able to do it in one small suitcase with room to spare, but maybe other ‘r_e_t_t_e_s are better packers!

    • TravelMoreRoads

      First, that’s amazing!!! As for how to pack and fit everything, you’ll find lots of great tips on our site so please poke around and let me know what you think but you will definitely need Packing Cubes! See our packing guide (http://travelmoreroads.com/packing-guide/) for a little more detail and examples on how to use and save space. They are key for saving space and great for staying organized on multi-stop trips. We also have a toiletry packing guide that should help and you can use our packing list so you don’t forget anything.

      The key for you is going to be mix and match layers. Fortunately, you’ll be able to re-wear outfits too since you’re going to so many different places. Choose based on what you can get the most wear out of and start with great basics like jeans/skirt/dress that can go with many things. When you pick dresses, choose ones that will go with different accessories/layers. For example, I have a dress I love that is casual and works for going out by itself, but I can wear a professional top over it and works on the higher end of business casual and has a pencil skirt look. Pick business stuff than can also be dressed down and casual stuff that can also be dressed up. Make sure everything is in complimentary colors so everything can be switched around. Try to bring variety via accessories (jewelry, belts, scarves, etc.) versus via extra clothes, because accessories take up less space. Shoes are typically the biggest issue because they take up the most room, so choose carefully, keep to a minimum (one casual, one fancy, one workout/active is good) and wear the bulkiest ones on the flight, pack things in the rest.

      Be careful on packing toiletries (again, you can see our guide) and pack only as much as you need, even if a larger amount complies with the 3-1-1 rules. Our favorite toiletry kit (and review of it) is on there too. This has been key to our packing light because we can bring so much without the typical issue of a bulky toiletry kit that takes up half your carry-on (big pet peeve of mine).

      Aside: Be sure to double check the CA weather before you go. I happen to be there now and it’s colder than normal and another wave of abnormal cold was on the way last I heard.

      Have a wonderful trip! :-)

        • TBK

          I want this! I have an LL Bean kit that I love (and that’s mostly similar) but since the liquids restriction has been kind of useless to me. The zip off liquids pouch is brilliant!

          • TravelMoreRoads

            Agreed! This is the first toiletry kit I’ve been satisfied with, literally looked for something I liked for years with no luck. This one is great – fits lots but stays organized and it’s thin and flexible so only takes up as much room as you need it to. You can see in my review pics how flexible it is but the fabric is durable too. I’ve dragged this all over creation for the last year and it still looks brand new. Hope you like it too!

    • Orangerie

      Not sure where in CA you’ll be visiting, but it’s REALLY cold in San Francisco right now. Mid-30s this morning when I left for work. I’d bring more than sweaters and jeans… I know you are trying to fit everything into one suitcase but you’ll freeze without a winter coat.

        • non

          Elsewhere in the Bay Area it’s “real” cold… in the 20s. In the city we are lucky to be a little more temperate!

          • Orangerie

            Where?? Tiburon, Oakland and San Mateo all show similar temps to SF right now.

            If it’s far enough out to be that cold, is it really considered the Bay Area anymore?

          • LeeB

            I live in Menlo Park, which is definitely Bay Area, and it was 27 degrees when I drove to work today.

      • Senior Attorney

        It’s much colder than usual down South, too. Mid 50s in L.A. today, which is verra cold for us. Got into the 30s at night, which makes us all kind of panic!

  19. anonlaw

    TJ for a tough gift recipient – my mom.

    Her answer to “what do you want” is always “ohhhh I just want you guys home for the holidays.” She’s been traveling a lot for work (1-2 weeks at a time) so I’d like to get something to make those trips easier on her. Thoughts from frequent travelers?

    • rosie

      What is your budget and what kind of thing are you looking for? If she doesn’t have one, I think an iPad (or mini) would be good–nice to travel with for reading and games plus she can use to videochat with family while traveling (and other times, since it sounds like you live further away).

      If you are thinking more travel accessories, I got my mom a Lodis passport wallet that blocks RFID. A portable power strip since hotel rooms rarely have enough outlets in convenient location.

      • Back Home

        +1 the portable power strip, especially if it has USB ports too. I have a Belkin SurgePlus USB Swivel Charger with 3 normal outlets and 2 USB. This is also good for airports (and coffee shops and conferences) when someone thinks it’s ok to use BOTH plugs of the only outlet in the area.

    • OCAssociate

      My sister travels for work a lot, so I’m getting her some travel-related things:
      A cute baggage tag (Anne Taintor has great retro ones); a universal phone/tablet charger; a mini-emergency kit (Jcrew has a Pinch Provisions one that is very cute); and is just saw the Kiva toiletry bag above, which looks awesome.

    • Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler

      I’m a fan of giving Amazon gift cards when I can’t figure out what to get someone because Amazon has (practically) everything.

  20. lhh

    Total Vain Confession: I just glanced at my SO’s (of 4 years) email and saw an email that had “Beautiful ring” in the subject line. I quickly glanced at the email and it said “…Your beautiful ring is ready to be picked up…”.

    I feel SO incredibly bad about snooping but I am so excited that he is going to pop the question! I’m scared to tell my friends because I don’t want to be judged and I don’t want it to get around to other people. I am SO mad at myself, excited, nervous and I really need to stop biting my nails.

    AH! Don’t judge.

    • BB

      Congrats! Don’t get mad at yourself. The “surprise” thing is all in your head and I think pretty overrated. I picked out the ring with my husband and I knew more or less when he was going to propose. Actually, when he finally did it, I think I said “Wait, are you really doing this right now?” and kind of ruined the moment. haha! It’s about the decades of loving marriage you have to look forward to, not the 2 minutes of proposing! :)

      • Cb

        I asked him if he had gotten fired or if someone had died when he appeared unexpectedly! I don’t take someone showing up out of the blue (3pm on a Tuesday) well, apparently.

      • Nonny

        I told my SO he was an idiot for waiting so long to ask me. I don’t think that was the reaction he was expecting. :-)

    • Anon

      I wouldn’t tell anyone, someone will snark at you about reading the email and ruin the excitement. Just wait till he does it and then tell everyone, unless you have that friend you know won’t judge you! (I call those your ‘bury the body’ friends ;) )

    • Anonymous

      Congrats! Were you snooping though? No snark just you did use that word so it sounds like you were looking in his email for something and that does imply a trust problem

      • lhh

        I think that’s why I feel so bad! I honestly have no trust issues with him, so I don’t know why I decided to glance at his inbox. Grumble, I feel bad.

    • Brant

      So…I found a receipt for $2k in my then SO’s glove box. I was sort of confused since it was way too much for a gift for me (and mid summer…) but not not enough to be an engagement ring (I can’t figure out how to say this without offending anyone- yes, you can absolutely have a gorgeous ring for <$1k. I'm just happened to know my SO is/was of the sort to spend more based on things he had said earlier). Anyway, I was confused. So I kept snooping in the glove box and found a RETURN receipt! So he had dropped $2k then decided not to?!?!

      All this happened in May. Come September, he finally proposed. Turns out e had been shopping forever, put a deposit down on a stone then changed his mind and bought it elsewhere. Then had a ring made. Then sat on it for almost 2 months.

      I've never told ANYONE about that! But I was only about 50% surprised when he proposed since he had a whole trip planned and got uncharacteristally ornery when we were running late.

    • LizNYC

      Don’t feel bad! I thought I knew when my hubster would be proposing…but yeah, totally didn’t see every sign that he was until he was already on one knee (and even then, I was worried about his dry-clean only pants getting wet in the snow). Maybe now that you know, you’ll actually remember what he says to you! (I can barely recall :P)

    • Anon

      Totally not judging – that’s awesome!! I definitely wouldn’t tell friends yet, though, just in case it’s a long time before it happens or they’re weird about it or something. My bf of six years was looking at rings recently (and told me about it) but is determined to make the proposal a “big surprise” that I’ll have “no idea about.” Basically, I understand your predicament of wanting to tell people and being excited!

  21. anonwantsitall

    I’ve been feeling really ready to jump on the baby train for a while now, and DH has been very careful with his opinion, very focused on wanting everything in order and banking an absurd amount of emergency cash before we start trying. The other day I expressed to him about the timing, my career choices, and how much the decision will impact me and my career, and probably not as much his career. It was a tense talk but I think a good one. Well, this morning I get an email that says “let’s go for it!” and that he’ll be happy and excited anytime I want to try. AHH! I’m so excited but also now freaking out. My type A need for planning is now so worried about when to stop BC, this big trial I’ll have early next year, when this, when that…. and I know there’s so much I can’t plan for. How did you smart, type A ladies stay calm and happy and not let your lives explode? Will my my competing this is crazy!/i’m so happy feelings subside?

    • Anony

      Congratulations on having a husband who is excited and ready to do this! My husband is on the long term bandwagon, he doesn’t understand that there will never be a perfect time. He keeps saying…wait until we get the basement remodeled, or when we save X dollars. Then he says… do you want our kids to play sports and go to private school? We need to save a lot of money for those things. I’m like sports and school are 7 years away…this child hasn’t even been conceived yet…meanwhile I’m only getting older.

      I’m really starting to resent him which isn’t good. Sorry for the ramble. I’m glad for you that he’s ready! Question – How long was the period between you deciding that you were ready until he decided he was ready? Also, how old are you?

      • Anony

        In response to your questions: Many of my friends with kids had to remind me multiple times that there is never a perfect time and you’ll figure it out. Another friend told me how excited everyone at her office was for her. You expect that people will be like, oh GREAT, what are we going to do while you’re gone? But they’re actually genuinely happy for you.

      • anonwantsitall

        Anony – about a 6-7 month time lag for me being like “I’m ready!” and today with him saying yes, too. He’s 8 years older than me (38 to my 30) and that’s always been a factor in the decision, but we are very lucky that it’s not the other way around. He’s been crazy about the amount of $ he feels he needs saved too. Good luck and I’m excited for you to get there!

    • KLG

      Stop BC ASAP and switch to condoms. While it did not take us forever to get pregnant, it did take us much longer than anticipated. If you’re using condoms you can feel free to start trying whenever. But you’re right, you really can’t plan any part of this and it is SO hard for us Type-A peeps! Glad you guys are ready to embark on this adventure!

      • NbyNW

        I second this – stop BC. We did this and did a “light” version of natural planning (e.g. I wasn’t obsessive about it) which had two advantages: First was that it reduced the potential for early accidents, which wouldn’t have been a tragedy but allowed us to delay a bit; and second, it was good practice for me to see when I was fertile (after having been on BCP for 10+years), which shortened the time to conception when we did try. Congrats!

    • tesyaa

      Trying to have a baby is a big step, but you’ve been feeling “really ready” for a while, so why the massive freakout? Also, I wonder how your husband will react when you encouraged him to take this step and are now showing “cold feet” or whatever? Once you become pregnant (and have a baby) there will be so much more you can’t control, so you might as well get used to it.

      Sorry if I don’t sound sympathetic. I know it’s a big step.

    • Anon

      My world exploded and has kept exploding and you just deal with it. I have never particularly thought of myself as an adrenaline junkie, but some people do rock-climbing or ski racing and I have babies and continue to work in an area that goes boom and bust periodically.

    • preg 3L

      It’s really easy to think of TTC as GIVING BIRTH AND RAISING A CHILD IMMEDIATELY. In reality, you will have plenty of time to figure it out. Enjoy trying, and try to remember that it can take a long time to just get pregnant. Then, being pregnant is no picnic, and you’ll be pregnant for nearly a YEAR. Then you’ll learn how to deal with your newborn. Then your newborn will become a baby, who will respond to you and your DH, who you’ll learn how to parent. Then your baby will gradually turn into a toddler. You’ll have plenty of time to learn everything you need to know. Make sure you have good people on your “team” — your DH, you, your parents/in-laws, your OB, maybe find a therapist, maybe find a doula for giving birth, maybe find a baby nurse or nanny…. it really takes a village. Good luck!

      • tesyaa

        As a veteran parent, I think you have this backward. When you have a baby, you spend so much time trying to figure out how it’s supposed to eat and sleep and develop. Then, just when you think you have things FIGURED OUT, the baby changes its schedule, stops eating what you got used to feeding it, and so on. You get the place childproofed – then the baby learns to grab a chair, PUSH IT OVER TO THE COUNTER, climbs up and grab your paring knife. For a type A it’s probably one of the most frustrating things, that the baby is constantly changing just when you’ve adjusted to where it’s at.

        • tesyaa

          Preg 3L, I just looked at our posts again and realized we are both ELLEN today.

    • anonwantsitall

      Thanks so much, everyone! Definitely not having cold feet (and haven’t expressed any doubts to DH) – I’m very excited about the baby and growing family part – just having some of the “I can’t believe I’m actually at this point in life!” and “How will I learn and do it all?” freak out feelings and need to vent about that and figure out how to manage it. I plan to stop BC immediately but give ourselves some time before overwhelming both of us with charting, etc. I’m 30 and DH is 38…we’ve been thinking about a baby for 3 years but really talking about it (and I’ve really been wanting one) for >6mos. Thanks preg 3L for reminding me that everything comes in time, and there really is a lot of time to learn/plan! Phew.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        When you say stop BC immediately, you probably want to finish out this cycle though or else you are going to have some crazy hormone things going on. If you have been on BC a very long time, do you know how you were off of it? I’m on BC for medical issues not just avoiding pregnancy so if I ever decide to come off, I am going to try to time it when I’m not about to have a major crazy busy time at work or about to travel or something. For me, periods without BC = practically too sick to work. Most people aren’t like me though. I just know some that are, that forgot how bad it was without BC until they went off to TTC and couldn’t function for 1 week/month.

      • Joanna Toews

        Charting… ah, charting. I was all about “just letting it happen”: No results for nine months. Then the VERY FIRST MONTH of charting, I got knocked up.

        Science, hey?

  22. FOR SWEETKNEE (ABOVE)

    I am 47 and have been getting Botox (sometimes Dysport) since I was 41. I wish I had started earlier. The first few years, I did it only on my eye crinkles (outside edge of the eyes when you smile) and one dot below each eyebrow (so that my eyes don’t close when I smile). A couple years ago, I added the forehead. At first I went every 3 months; now I need it about every 4-5 months. Eyes only: $I forget. Eyes and forehead: $ 500/visit.

    About a year ago, I had Juvederm done to my upper lipline and the teeny, tiny crinkles between my upper lip and my nose. It isn’t as plump now as it was for several months, but this wizened, crinkly look has not yet returned. With eyes/forehead (above): $1,000/visit.

    As I say, I wish I had started earlier, as a preventive measure.

    [Posting here because can’t post as a reply for some reason.]

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