Coffee Break: Jet Set Large Travel Tote

109 Comments

1. I’m going to take a moment here to squee!!! It looks as though I’m going to accomplish – in my first 90 days – something that no one else has been able to do with a major donor. This is a big fish who gets scared away easily and I’ve been on him like pb on jelly since I got promoted. Hear me RAWR patronizing VP who told me to “be CAREFUL” [emphasis not my own].

   Best moment on the job so far: Major donor saying to patronizing VP (who is near the top of the food chain), “You know I’m about to give this lady all my money, right?” Patronizing old VP had given up on the prospect of anyone (including himself) being able to book this donor. Once again, RAWR! And squee! Thank you, the end.

   1. Congrats! Hope you have some fun celebration plans in store!

   2. Woohoo! You must be AWESOME!

   3. RAWRS and CONGRATS!!! go you!!

   4. RAWR!

      (Can you make some calls for me?)

   5. That’s awesome. YOU’RE AWESOME. :-)

   6. Go team you! :D

   7. love this comment! get it girl!

2. After seeing on this morning’s thread that Walgreen’s sells these, I looked for them online and could not find them.

   Could someone who has them, or has seen them, tell me:

   1. What exactly does Walgreen’s call them (so I can do a proper search).
   2. Did you buy them online or in the store (I am in SoCal, so it’s unlikely our stores will carry them).

   TIA.

   1. You know, I saw them here in DSW. I just laughed because nobody here would even know what they are.

      1. People do travel.

         1. True, but if I wasn’t on this site, I wouldn’t have any idea what they were.

            1. Totally agree.

      2. I am pretty sure Marshalls in my mid-size Southern town had some fleece-lined tights because I remember pointing them out to my husband and telling him I learned about them from this site. I don’t think it gets cold enough here to need them, but us Southerners are pretty whiny about cold weather :)

   2. Nordstrom Rack in Seattle has a bunch of fleece lined tights an leggings right now…

      1. erm, *and leggings

   3. They’re not on the Walgreen’s website.

   4. In NorCal, in-store, and they called them Fleece Lined Tights! :)

      1. Thanks. I will check in-store here. If I can’t find them, I will press my sister in SF into service :)

3. Thought I’d amuse you all…

   Today at the gym there was a woman (girl, actually) doing interval training on the stair climber. Every 3 or 4 minutes she’d let out a loud shriek or moan. I think it’s amusing when Sharopova does it. It’s not so funny in a public gym when you’re trying to concentrate.

   I was reading nonfiction on my kindle and it was super distracting. I actually got off my machine to go complain. I cannot understand why anyone would think it appropriate to make s3x noises in a public gym. The rest of us kept rolling out eyes. Her back was to us or we’d have been glaring at her.

   1. Miss Behaved – you have my sympathies. I can’t watch women’s tennis matches with the sound on and now the mens tennis players are starting the screams and grunts too! Yuk!

   2. My old gym had one of those rowing machines near the treadmills that this scummy guy in short shorts would always use with similar gusto.

      I totally know where you’re coming from. Ewww. Just ewwww.

   3. Ha ha. I’m quite pregnant and still waddling around my neighborhood for 4 mile runs and this morning, I was groaning and grunting and talking to myself as I huffed and puffed my way back to the house. I was outside, so totally different, but I was wondering if any early morning dog walkers were looking at me funny as I told myself outloud to: “Make it to that green car. Oof. Uggh. Ooof. Make it to that red car. Ooof. Ugggh. Ooof.”

      1. Ha ha! I just want to say I think it’s excellent you’re continuing with your running. I am too -early and preemptively worried about not being able to run through a pregnancy. In any case – you’re awesome. :)

      2. Pregnant women would be exempt IMHO.

   4. hahaha that’s hilarious. While I am a heavy breather on the stairmaster and might let out a few deep breathes, I’ve never heard of anything grunting in the gym like that haha.

   5. My team used to do this as a joke at weights, but only on the leg press. And we were all buddies, and 17-22 years old, so of course we thought it was hilarious! It kind of was…but at a public gym, no fricking way. eeew.

   6. Although I also would have been annoyed at the excessive grunting, I think it is equally funny that your gripe appears to be that you couldn’t read at the gym.

      1. I read my kindle while I do 45 minutes on the treadmill at a speed of 4.7 on the highest incline. I have a bad knee so I can’t run.

   7. Why the distinction between girl and woman? Was she under 18?

      1. Yup

   8. seriously? you got off your machine to go complain about someone making grunting noises at the gym. while they were working out?

      I probably would have rolled my eyes at the noisey lady, but i would have rolled them twice at you.

      1. She was not grunting. She was making very loud shrieking noises. And I wasn’t the only person who complained. She was also periodically dropping the F-bomb.

         1. I’m on team Miss Behaved.

         2. If she had the energy to shriek she was not doing it right…. .either the exercising or the shrieking.

            1. Word

         3. The grunting is really weird but I am assuming you are an adult so I don’t understand going to tattle on someone. Just say, excuse me, do you mind keeping it down? Its really weird that you stopped your work out to go get someone else to say that for you.

   9. And I think maybe it’s just my day for crazies. Today when I got on the T, an older woman got on as well. She had 2 small dogs and seemed very sweet, but she lifted the dogs up so that she and the dogs each took a seat. We get on at one of the earliest stops, but by the time we got to downtown the train was packed and there were a lot of angry commuters, who were holding their tongues out of deference to the older woman.

      1. Dogs need seats too!

   10. I do a bar class as my fitness now and there are definitely some class participants who make really awkward noises, to the point where it’s disruptive to your own concentration (bar classes usually involve a lot of tiny movements in sometimes difficult poses) and you also you wonder if they are physically okay. I mean, yeah it’s hard and strenuous (so breathe hard or whatever), but if you’re literally panting so hard you’re cursing loudly or making really really loud s3x moany noises… you need to either a) realize you’re in a public class and that’s awkward and people are going to comment/wonder if you are okay, or b) if you’re actually not okay, perhaps consider less strenuous exercise until you get to a point where you can do moany exercise more safely and thus presumably with less noise.

4. Can we talk seasonal/festive blazers? I really like the idea of a sequin blazer for holiday parties and stuff, and I know last year we were talking about velvet blazers. What’s your favourite festive topper? Links?

   1. I think this is adorable in the grey: http://guessbymarciano.guess.ca/en/Catalog/View/P24N0401000

   2. I’m in love with the look of Boden’s cocktail cardigan and think it would be great to wear over nice holiday dresses: http://www.bodenusa.com/en-US/Womens-Knitwear/Cardigans/WK887/Womens-Cocktail-Cardigan.html

      I’m thinking about pulling the trigger but I’d like something a) slightly less expensive and b) in a US store (since I’d like to wear it to a party next weekend. Any ideas?

      1. Nevermind, the Boden option is out for me – sold out of my size :( Other similar suggestions would be much appreciated!

         1. Have you tried J Crew? Back when I used to get a printed catalog I always remember seeing a lot of embellished cardigans.

         2. If you go on shopstyle and type in beaded cardigan, a bunch of possibilities come up and you can limit by cost.

         3. Target has something similar.

   3. I have the J. Crew Eden Blazer in velvet (navy) that I usually wear with a sparkly necklace as my festive topper. I also have a grey wool cape from BCBG if I’m wearing black. I wear that with opera length gloves and similarly sparkly necklaces.

      I always see tons of the Eden Blazer on eBay. Other ones I see (for search purposes are the velvet Bella jacket).

      Blazer: http://www.jcrew.com/womens_feature/NewArrivals/jacketsouterwear/PRDOVR~17306/17306.jsp

   4. I am saddened by the serious lack of velvet blazers in my go to stores this year. Or velevet, full stop. this is supposed to be the stock-up season for us goffs! *grrrrr*

      1. Banana had velvet blazers.

         1. Alas, they don’t have my size… not to mention i hate the whole international shipping thing

   5. Wearing the J Cr*w schoolboy black velvet blazer right now over a red dress — going to a holiday party tonight. It’s perfect!

5. Fred is here. FOOEY! He’s flirting with Lynn.

   1. It’s your party; you can cry if you want to.

      Cry if you want to.

      Cry if you want to.

      1. She should cry, and not trust any man that is flirting with a younger secretary while waiting to take Ellen out on a date. Clearly, Lynn is attractive, and Fred is already not to be trusted. Men are pigs, so Ellen should keep her ankles locked at all times with him. He is a jerk.

6. For those of you who have a Nordstrom Visa credit card, how do you track expenses? I would love to use Mint but Mint is not compatible with Nordstrom Visa, for some reason. I’m looking for software that can take my monthly credit card statement and tell me how much I am spending in various categories (clothing, food, rent, etc.) as well as just keeping an ongoing tally of my overall spending on a weekly and monthly basis. Any ideas?

   This idea has come to fruition after seeing our last credit card bill – yikes. I am now on a clothing buying ban and am actually excited about it. I’m honestly getting a bit tired of shopping. Enough is enough.

   1. Learnvest. They have paid products, but their basic financial-management interface is free and it offers the functionality you’re describing.

      1. I’ve tried Mint, Hello Wallet, and Ready for Zero and none of them interface with all of my accounts, and they all don’t interface with different ones. So I think it’s a cr#pshoot to find which one works for you.

   2. The key for me actually changing my spending habits was to have something I had to manually input my transactions into. I do it every 2-3 days currently. If you’re up for that then I highly recommend You Need A Budget. It can run all kinds of reports for your spending categories.

   3. Quicken. And I manually enter all my transactions, and do not download from my accounts.

      1. I’m using Mint now, but manually entering my transactions makes me stop and think about my spending more than Mint does.

7. “I’m probably going to lose my mind soon” TJ –

   So, I started having painful contractions that became regularly spaced yesterday. I decided to go in for a check up and monitoring, only to learn that my cervix is very short (sorry if that’s TMI), the baby’s head is really low, but I’m not dilated. So basically, I could deliver tomorrow, or near my due date (in early January), or any time in between.

   I didn’t get specific bedrest, just told to take it easy and see how things go. I’m normally super active (and have continued to work, lift weights, and do zumba and u-jam throughout)…so this is about the worst thing anyone can say to me. After some sleep, today my contractions have slowed down, but now I’m worried that exerting myself might start them up again. More or less everyone close to me (DH, sister, parents, BFF) is telling me to slow down a lot and just enjoy myself, but I feel like I’m going to go nuts doing nothing for the next 5 weeks (or whenever baby shows up). Gah!!! I hate this! And I keep hearing stories about people who had on and off intense, painful contractions for like a month before their babies came.

   Not much to be done…just need to vent. And keep reminding myself how much healthier my baby gets each day she stays inside me (my mom’s a neonatologist and has been “helpfully” reminding me of exactly how much weight my baby is gaining and which organ functions are maturing every day she stays inside me).

   1. Oh no!! I’m so sorry to hear this. For me, drinking a TON of water helped when I had low painful cramps (for 3 days at 20 weeks). I have to practically schedule my water consumption to make sure I stay on track. Maybe that would help? Good luck Flying Squirrel & Flying Squirrel Jr.!!

   2. Get yourself a tablet. Work from the couch. Make lists. Delegate. Do craft projects. Write heartfelt notes to people. Get your nails done. In a few weeks you’ll have to run around like a crazy person, so start automating as much junk as you can now!

   3. nothing I can do or say to make it better, but just to say our thoughts are with you! hang in there!

   4. I went through this. In addition to reminding yourself that it’s for your baby’s health and it’s only temporary, try to enjoy uninterrupted sleep now, while you can. Once the kid’s here, sleep will be precious and rare. :) Best wishes!

      1. Any tips for sleeping in third trimester? If I sleep on my side, my arm goes numb due to swelling (worse on right than left, but that’s the most comfy side to sleep on).

         1. Oh, it’s rough. Do you have a body pillow? If not, I highly recommend one. Or use several pillows as props under your arms and belly, which may help with swelling. Lots of water should help as well. You may actually find that the edema improves now that you’re being less active.

      2. I second this. I was unbelievably impatient in my third trimester, couldn’t sleep comfortably (backache, numbness, constricted breathing etc.) and wanted the baby out, and soon. But soon after the delivery the baby’s sleep/feeding schedule wouldn’t allow me to sleep for more than say 3 hours at a stretch, plus I was in pain and recovering. I thought about my previously uninterrupted 8-9 hours of sleep in the prior month with longing for months afterward!

         Bottom line – this is your best chance to get some sleep, however bad it’s quality. Your baby is now portable, and easily fed, and doesn’t need to be changed or rocked to sleep.
         This is as easy as she will ever be! So – and I know this is hard – do whatever it takes (pregnancy pillows, propped up, on the couch with a travel neck pillow, get a massage) to get all the sleep you can manage!

   5. If it’s any consolation, the last few weeks of pregnancy are unbearable (emotionally and physically) even for women whose activity isn’t restricted. Just hang in there as best as you can. I always used to say that at the end of the pregnancy, every day feels like a month.

   6. Really try and take it easy – think of it as a little staycation! We have a four month old and being on the other side, can seriously say rest up as much as you can! Enjoy watching your tv shows and reading with uninterrupted quiet time …

8. Hi all …

   Kind of a sad subject, but you are all so brilliant and thoughtful — I am looking for any advice you can offer.

   I just got news over the weekend that my sister-in-law has cancer for the second time. She was just happily celebrating her 1-year anniversary following a double mastectomy and chemo, enjoying the return to her normal energy levels and starting to feel back to normal — and now apparently it is in her liver. It’s shocking, and angering, and confusing on a lot of levels, and the prognosis is not nearly as rosy as the first time around.

   Do any of you have experience, on either the giving or the receiving end, as to what someone can do for an gravely ill family member who is 3000 miles away (and that person’s spouse?)? My heart is breaking for her, and for my brother. It seems especially challenging to think of the “right” things to do or say, in part because (1) they have a phenomenal network of people at home who will pay for a housekeeper, cook meals, etc. and (2) she has a lot of the other “go to” things (soft warm fuzzy blankets, for instance) because of her experience a year ago.

   I think, unfortunately, that the answer is that there’s nothing I can really do other than to “be there” — but I’m not there, and I worry about the emotional strain it will put on my brother if I’m calling him all the time…it’s also not really the “right” time for me to say, “that’s it, I”m going home” — there’s no timeline, there’s still hope, etc.

   Anyway. Any suggestions, no matter how silly, would be welcome. Anecdotes of miraculous recoveries also appreciated.

   1. How devastating. I’m so sorry for you and your family. I would let your brother establish the boundaries: call when you can and have faith that he will let your calls go to voicemail if doesn’t have the emotional energy to talk. Assuming your sister in law is healthy enough, could you pay for them to go out to dinner? (My MIL does this for me and my spouse–she has a make a reservation and then calls the restuarant with her credit card information). A nice evening out together may be appreciated before your sister in law is sick from the chemo. Hugs all around.

   2. Send cards, comics, pictures, etc. Lets them know you’re thinking of them without requiring any effort on their part.

   3. Does she have a tablet?

   4. A friend’s wife went through terminal breast cancer, and he said the hardest part was the isolation and loneliness – people thought they were being helpful by giving him space, but he thought they were staying away out of fear or inertia. Could you set up a standing call or Facetime or Skype with your brother and SIL, and tell them that they can cancel at any time or make the call as short as they want? Also, my mom sometimes sends cards with stories (or pictures) about the person inside.

      And I’m so sorry. *hugs*

   5. my mom is terminally ill and is dying a slow and pinful death. the best thing i personally think you can do is to call, visit, skype, and otherwise generally let them know you are there. you can ask about how your SIL is doing, but also ask your brother how he is doing and if there is anything you can do to help (assuming you mean it). Many people wind up not doing anything becuase they dont know what to do or constantly askign how my mom is (which is fine), but not thinking to ask how i am or how the rest of my family is.

      1. +1

         When my mom was dying with cancer, everyone just stayed away…. Only her sister came to visit, flying cross country. I really lost faith in most people during that time.

         Just call and say you’ve been thinking about her / him. Regularly. Plan a visit for them to look forward to, and have your brother guide (ex stay in hotel, what errands to help with if any).

         I’m so sorry your family is struggling with this.

         1. This. I lost both my parents to cancer and I agree with everything Frugal doc says. If possible, maybe you can visit plus give them some kind of experiential gift that allows you all/them as a couple to spend time together doing something fun. I feel that once my folks’ prognosis got really bad, people kind of…gave up on them? But they were still alive and wanted to interact/participate within some limits of their mobility.

            I am so sorry for you and your family.

   6. Honestly, I’d go for a few weeks. If your sister comes out it later, they will have appreciated your visit. If your sister ends up in a tough situation, they will be glad for your visit.

      It’s in her liver. There may not be a timeline, but any time you spend with her (and helping your BIL) will be treasured.

   7. My cousin’ s wife just died of cancer at 55. They found cancer 18 months ago, she did the chemo, etc , got stem cell transplants, and it went away. Only to resurface 6 months later as stage 4 leukemia. She was in a lot of pain but always cheerful.

      1. Call as often as you can
      2. Try to give her something to look forward to, so you can make plans together
      3. Take your cues from her approach.
      4. Try to visit if you can

   8. Send personal cards. Go visit for a long weekend if you can, even if takes a day to get there and a day to get back. A personal visit means a lot. When my twin sister, most of the way across the country, had cancer, I sent a personal note card almost every single day she was on chemo and radiation, probably 8 months. Just knowing you are getting a personal letter and someone is thinking of you is really important.

9. Are ankle boots a poor choice for petites? How poor? I think I recall reading that ankle boots have a stumpifying effect… I’m 5’2 and prefer to wear dresses/skirts with tights in the winter, so I think I would get a lot of wear out of them, but I would like to avoid looking like one of santa’s elves (even an adorable, well dressed one). I don’t forsee wearing said boot with pants, if that makes a difference.

   1. I think it depends on the color of the boot and tight — i.e. they should be the same. If you have black tights and black ankle boots I don’t see it as any different than wearing black knee-high boots in terms of the elongating effect. I think it also depends on where the bootie hits your ankle — I’ve had pairs that hit an inch or two above the ankle whichI thought stumpified my legs; I don’t think the same effect occurs with another pair that hit just below the ankle and are very sleek. (Or maybe that’s just because I really love the second pair.)

   2. I’m 5’2″ and I wear ankle boots with skirts. I think if you like how they look on you, you shouldn’t worry whether some random writer of some random article thinks they are “stumpifying.”

      1. +1

         Wear what you like!

   3. It might depend on your build and the specific boots. I’m 5′ and wear them with skirts and dresses, but find it’s really dependent on the specific shoe (I can’t actually give you a good summary of what works and what doesn’t, since the ones I have differ from each other quite a bit). I also have a short torso, making my legs appear proportionately longer (still short, obviously). This means I can get away with things that might otherwise cut off even a much taller person with proportionately shorter legs (like a 5’8″ friend of mine).

      So the answer to your question is, it depends. You’ll have to try on a few and see what works with your body.

      1. I agree that it entirely depends on your proportions. If you are short but have long, slim calves, then the ankle boots will look great (think SJP). But, ankle boots will look stumpifying even on a tall person (like me) that has short, thicker calves.

   4. I agree with Nancy P that high ankle boots do have a stumpifying effect. Matching them to your tights and looking for boots that dip in the front, minimizes the effect.

      1. I agree! Also, booties that stop below your ankle bone are less stumpifying.

   5. No matter what your height, just don’t wear ankle boots with below-knee skirts. Keep it middle of the knee or above.

      1. +1. I’m 6′ tall and below-the-knee skirts with ankle boots (even high heeled ankle boots!) make me look stumpy!

   6. I am 5’2 and wear ankle boots all the time. I agree with others, it just depends on the boot and your proportions. I’ve noticed that Lucy Liu’s character on Elementary (she plays Watson) pretty much always wears ankle boots, and she is tiny! Of course, she wears super-short skirts too, but that is a whole other conversation…

      1. She has a great wardrobe on that show.

10. As a follow-up to yesterday’s mascara discussion, can we talk about eyeliner? I always put it on the top lid only, thin line. Recently I’ve wanted to branch out more with a slight cateye, and I’ve noticed that most of the women in my office line both upper and lower lids. How do you use it?

    (I will say that I am a total addict to the Urban Decay 24/7 pencils – they are terrific.)

    1. I tend to do the top line only, usually more in the outer corners. For a night out, I will do a little under eye sometimes, usually lower corner and smudged. I tend to avoid it for day time because I hate dealing with smudges and I don’t like the way it looks when you line the inside of the eye line (think Kate Middleton). I see a lot of women do that but it always looks very 1988 to me.

    2. I remember doing both top and bottom when I first started wearing makeup. It always seemed (on me, at least) to make my normal-sized eyes look smaller. In any case, I always wear eyeliner only on the top now. I think I enjoy experimenting with a longer line or a bit of a cat eye on the weekends, but I don’t think I’d do it for work..

11. Sad! They just announced that Nelson Mandela has died. Such a tragedy, he will be so missed.

    1. I can think of few people more fitting for the Ecce quomodo:

       From facing evil, the righteous one is taken away, and his memory will be in peace. His resting place will be in peace, and his dwelling place in Zion; his memory will be in peace.

       1. wow, that is beautiful. Thank you for that, cbackson. making me tear up

    2. I saw that :(

    3. I had to turn the tv off, it was too sad.

       1. It’s sad but not unexpected considering his ill health and hospitalization in recent months. Think of it this way: although it is sad to lose the physical presence of Nelson Mandela in our world, we can be deeply moved and uplifted by the example of his life. He was amazing in his ability to respond to terrible circumstances without bitterness. He chose this, not to excuse the awful behavior of others but in order not to get distracted from his own objectives. To quote the obituary by Bill Keller in the New York Times:

          “When the question was put to Mr. Mandela in an interview for this obituary in 2007 — after such barbarous torment, how do you keep hatred in check? — his answer was almost dismissive: Hating clouds the mind. It gets in the way of strategy. Leaders cannot afford to hate.” (Retrieved on Nov. 6, 2013 from http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/06/world/africa/nelson-mandela_obit.html?hp)

          Death is sad because of its finality, but Nelson Mandela’s accomplishments–and those of his colleagues and fellow/sister citizens of South Africa–are worth celebrating. The lessons of his life are still with us.

12. TJ: I went on an incredibly f***ed up date a few days ago. I’ve blocked his e-mail and texts and changed his entry in my phone to “do not answer.” Any other suggestions?

    1. Um, that sounds like an amazing story. Is it inappropriate if I ask you to elaborate?

       On the advice front – make sure you block him on all social media sites, or change your privacy settings so he can’t “find” you. Also, if you met on a dating site, you can probalby block him through there. If you met him through friends, let them know that you don’t want them to give him any information about you.

       1. It is definitely not inappropriate to ask, but I’m uncomfortable sharing. Oh, it was a total disaster. He was very mentally/emotionally unstable. (And, no, I’m not diagnosing without benefit of an MD; he admits it but won’t do anything about it.) The kind where you realize that this is not within the normal range of behavior or the eccentric range or the had too many drinks range but the “oh my god, this is not happening” and wonder how close law enforcement is.

          1. It sounds like you were made pretty uncomfortable by this guy. If he reaches out to you in any way that crosses a line, document, document, document. Screenshots, screen grabs of any texts, email yourself if you see him lurking around so you have a time-stamped record– build a paper trail from the start of inappropriate behavior rather from the moment you start fearing for your safety. Hope none of that comes up, but if you ever have to take legal action, you will be thankful to have records.

             I would NOT block his email/texts, since then you can’t tell if he’s cooling down or heating up. I’d filter his emails into a special folder on your email client so you can open them when you want to. Do not engage this guy at all– no “please leave me alone” texts, nothing. Just evaluate the contacts without responding so you know if his emotions are escalating to something potentially violent. And, like I said, document these things.

             Been there. Having documentation made me feel a lot safer since I knew I’d be believed if I had to involve the police.

       2. Why would you think thats an amazing story? Even before she elaborates it sounded like a horrifying story. OP- if you were thinking about law enforcement I think you should still be thinking about. You can go and talk to them about your concerns, it doesn’t mean you are getting him arrested or anything. I would call or go in person and talk to them. I did this with an unstable neighbor. He was not unknown to the police.

          1. OP–Thank you all for the support. I will take all your advice under advisement. I’m also going to take a break from first dates for a while.

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