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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
The women’s suiting vest has been having a moment this summer, but I have to admit that I still never quite know how to style it. We had this conversation a few years ago, and I think all of Kat’s sage advice still applies if you’re looking to wear a vest to the office.
I’d pair this pinstriped version from The Frankie Shop with a crisp white button-front blouse and navy trousers for a suit-like look that’s not quite a suit. Beyond that, I’m at a loss!
How are we wearing vests this summer, friends? Is anyone channeling Jennifer Lawrence and making it work for the office?
This vest is $200 at NET-A-PORTER and comes in sizes XS-L.
Sales of note for 9.10.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Save up to 40% on new markdowns
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- White House Black Market – 30% off new arrivals
No Shows.
PSA: NYT’s Wirecutter column has an article today on the best no-show socks, something I asked about here not so long ago. Hoping this link will work:
https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/best-no-show-socks-2/
Anon
Well done, Wirecutter. I have the Bombas and the Stance and they’re both great. I wear Bombas most of the time, but have Stance for certain shoes.
Anonymous
I like to buy one clothing/shoe/accessory item per season. What should I buy for fall? (Fun question – just realized it’s already back to school around here!)
Cb
I’m on the lookout for a good lined raincoat after the patch pockets started falling off mine.
Anon
Rain Sisters are expensive but are SO comfortable and pretty. It’s a very girly line so understand if that’s not your aesthetic.
Anon
How have I never seen these? I love them!
Anon
London Fog makes a pretty good one with a detachable liner. Not the quality it used to be, but decent value for the price and I wear mine w/ the lining in when the temp is a low as low 30’s.
Anonymous
Cb, Seasalt or Joules! Can try in the largest M&S you can find near you.
anon
My vote is always for great boots or outerwear.
Anon
I never regret buying a nice coat.
Not for OP who’s focused on one new item but I think the key to winter is having a variety of great cold weather gear. Bundling up is easier when I’m excited about my coat, scarf, glove, and hat options.
Anonymous
+1 on the new boots
Anon
Not sure what your climate is, but a great new wool coat would be my choice! Or leather boos.
Anon
Here is what I have on my fall / winter list:
– Madewell jeans that I can wear to work (aka not ripped). I usually prefer boyfriend or kick crop. I’m TBD on color and style beyond that.
– Replacing worn out white sneakers (currently have Adidas Grand Courts, but open to other styles or brands).
– New Balance 327s
– Sleeveless turtleneck sweater
– Probably replace a sweater I have with something that’s more current – have an eye on a striped one with decorative buttons on the shoulder.
– A new “blouse” (for work or weekend). Long sleeve, probably floral but TBD, probably square neck.
– Sweater “hoodie” or quarters.
– Cardigan shacket (not really sure how to describe it, but I’ve seen a few out there – styled like a shacket but in a knit material)
– Hunter green midi cocktail dress to wear for November and February weddings I have coming up.
– Cognac or off white belt
Anonymous
I am on the hunt for a suede mini skirt for Fall (faux or real). Every year, there are about 2-3 occasions where it would be super fun to break it out, but I’ve never purchased because I feel it’s impractical. No more! I’m 48 – the time is now. I don’t usually shop at thrift stores, but this seems like the perfect item to try to track down because the basic style has been around for decades.
I’d also like a vest.
Anon
I had a second job at LOFT (the joys of working in local government and barely making a living wage…) in like 2018 and they had really, really cute suede pencil and mini skirts.
Anon
Haha, I can commiserate as also local government who spent a few years w a second job at jcrew. I did love it though.
Anon
For me, it’s finding a pair of jeans that fit me just right and don’t slide down (having to hike them up all day is my pet peeve.). This will involve going to more than one brick and mortar store and trying on nearly everything even close to my size. I look forward to this as much as I do swimsuit shopping, which means not at all!
Anon
Oh I remembered another item I’m buying for sure. I guess I will buy it today since I now see it’s on sale.
It’s the LL Bean funnel neck cabled cotton sweater in off white (oatmeal heather). I already have this in navy and larkspur. It’s part of a fall/winter uniform of sorts for me.
https://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/125691?page=womens-double-l-cable-sweatshirt-womens-regular&bc=32-516686-302-518078&feat=518078-GN3&csp=s&attrValue_0=1704&pos=12
Anon
I also lile doing a new outwear or shoes this time of year for fall and winter.
2 years ago was a green wool coat from JCrew. Last year was an embroidered jeam jacket.
This year I’ve been mulling on a sherpa lined jacket and a pair of thicker soled “stompy” boots. I’ve seen dozens of the 1st at my local consignment so I’ll start hunting when they shift their inventory to fall.
I have a pair of ear muffs from Ugg that I love. I get too hot often commuting or taking walks with a full hat.
Sunshine
Jo Lynne Shane had a post earlier this week about what’s trending for the fall if that would help your thought process.
Anon
Best sneaker for strength training? Looking for something with stability and arch support. I have my eye on the Nike Metcons but I’m wondering if there’s a less expensive option? I work out at home so it doesn’t need to be cute ;) thank you!
Anon
No specific advice since fit is unique to everyone, but I buy all of my workout shoes in last year’s model go save money.
Anon
I have and like the Metcons, but I’ve heard of people wearing Chuck Taylors too.
Anonymous
50% of us at my powerlifting gym wear Chucks.
Anon
+1
Anonymous
Just a thought – consider whether you really do need arch support and stability. I need those for running, and I thought I needed them for strength training, but wearing minimalist shoes for strength training has “fixed” my previously problematic feet.bI know it can be an expensive experiment, but I am glad I did it.
anon
they are not attractive but in the 30 years i’ve been going to a gym i have always regretted buying something else. these keep your feet where you want them to be…. have had some variation forever.
https://www.amazon.com/New-Balance-Womens-Comfort-Trainer/dp/B07B422PTL5/ref=asc_df_B07B42PTL5/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=692875362841&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17440505751957314674&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9004199&hvtargid=pla-2281435179578&psc=1&mcid=74500687b5af36319bfd9f2bca4d72a2&hvocijid=17440505751957314674-B07B42PTL5-&hvexpln=73&gad_source=1
go for it
please resend, link does not work?
anon
google new balance womens cross trainers. they’re white leather, a few variations. look very old school.
OP
Interesting! I have bad arches (dealt with plantar fasciitis while running track in high school and it never really went away) and have been dealing with pain that I assume is from lifting weights either in old running shoes or barefoot (I know, I know).
Anon
I actually always lift barefoot at home. Obviously it depends on what type of workouts you’re doing and what equipment you’re using, but I find barefoot to work best for me.
Anon
Another vote for barefoot weight lifting! Since I’m mostly doing barbell training in the garage I feel like it works best for me.
OP
Okay thank you for the intel! I’m going to try that for a couple weeks and see how my arches feel. Obviously I would love to save the money and I prefer being barefoot anyways.
Anon
Glad to know I am not the only one who prefers barefoot workouts at home!
Fallen
I love ON brand. Have had different styles and all have been great for strength.
Anon
Most comfy shoes I have ever owned are ON Cloud 5.
PolyD
I used to do a combined cardio+weight lifting class, and almost all the women in the class, including me, wore ASICS of some sort.
Anonymous
I have the Metcon. It is flatter and more stable than a running shoe but has little arch support. I think it is good for strength training. I understand the rationale for training barefoot but I just can’t bring myself to do it when weights are involved.
I don’t like the Metcon for HIIT or anything that involves jumping and running.
Anonymous
I like the Metcons for weight lifting at home. Agree with the poster about buying last season’s colorway at a discount.
Anon
I just bought a pair of Reebok Nano X3 for about $70. They’re cute and feel stable.
Anon
I feel like when Jill Hennessy was on Law and Order OG, I wore a lot of buttoned vests as blouses. But they were sold for that IIRC, in more of a blouse type of fabric.
Anon
The 90s are so back. I can picture her look, and remember my own vests from the era!
Shelle
The 90s are so back! I watched Monday’s Jeopardy episode and thought it was an old rerun. The brown pinstripe suit and hoop earrings, the black turtleneck and long hair, the wide tie and bushy mustache! The contestant photos are available on the jeopardy fan dot com.
Anon
Wide tie and bushy mustache is definitely not 90s!
Shelle
Maybe I just wish it were left in the 90s… :)
Cat
I was too young to wear them as blouses, but my ‘fancy’ outfits circa 1994-1995 were 100% a coordinating pastel floral shorts and vest, worn with what can be charitably called a pirate shirt and white or cream hose.
Anon
Oh my word. I’d forgotten about that look.
Cat
Oh my word is right. The piece de resistance was coordinating Sam & Libby flats, natch.
Anon
Sam & Libby!! I always wanted a pair, but we couldn’t afford them. I wore generic instead.
anon
I felt SO FANCY in my pirate shirt.
Josie P
I LOVED my pirate shirt (I called it a “poet shirt”) that I bought from the Victoria’s Secret catalogue in 1994!
Cat
wow, things I would not have remembered without a prompt — they were TOTALLY advertised as “poet blouses.”
Anon
Per Seinfeld, was the VS poet blouse = puffy shirt = pirate shirt? All the same thing?
Anon
White or cream hose were the only color I wore in the 90s. In retrospect, I looked like a nurse.
Senior Attorney
Haha we all looked like nurses back then!
Anon
Dove Grey Hanes were my go-to. What was I thinking.
Anonymous
I think my cream color was called “Travel Buff.” I wore them with cream and tan spectator pumps for music recitals and auditions in high school.
Anon
My 20 something daughter just stole my old pirate shirt (saved because a clinch Halloween piece) from my closet about a week ago.
Anon
Politico is reporting the VP pick is Tim Walz. Thoughts?
I’m a moderate Dem and I’m ok with that. I don’t know much about him, but I like what I’ve heard – moderate, down-to-earth, avoids the “coastal elite” label, gives some love to the Midwest.
Anon
Also a moderate Dem, and I’m thrilled. Don’t know a ton about him, but seems like a good pick. Politically, I was more than okay with any of the reported front runners, but was worried about the electability of Shapiro (I’m in PA and he’s certainly very popular here though).
I also really like everything I’ve heard about Walz as a person. Like that he started his school’s gay straight alliance years ago (when this was not a popular thing) because he recognized that as the football coach / soldier he needed to be a visible ally.
Anonymous
I love that story about him too! Everything I hear about him is warm and fuzzy. God I hope he doesn’t have any nasty surprise in his past, I really want him to be America’s VP/Dad.
Anonymous
Not very familiar with him but seems like it will help move the conversation back towards traditional Democratic policies like free school lunches and worker protections which may help win over voters who would have stayed home for Harris. Fits the ‘comforting old white guy’ that a certain voter wants without being so old that Trump can attack his age.
Anon
Hopefully this will be good for retaining the midwest blue wall (PA/MI/WI), while avoiding some of the controversy around Shapiro.
Anon
I think it’s a great pick. I’m a native midwesterner who has also lived in the SEUS, CA, and Pittsburgh, and he really seems like the kind of guy who can appeal to people in all of those places. He’s fairly progressive, but still has the regular guy who hunts, was in the military, and coached football vibe that resonates in places that are not coastal cities. He didn’t spend his whole life in politics and you can hear that in the way he talks.
Anon
Ugh. I hope not.
Anon
Care to elaborate?
Anon
Tim Kane redux. Boring. Not a succession candidate. Takes the air out of the balloon.
Anon
It seems like many people wanted either him or Kelly – neither of whom would be succession candidates due to age.
The younger popular options (Shapiro, Buttigieg, Beshear) all had things that enough people don’t like about them, their histories, personal lives, personalities, or policies that I saw a LOT of chatter against online.
Anon
It’s picking the good on paper guy and too safe a choice. Sometimes you’ve got to tune out the online noise and go for some dynamism.
Anon
Harris has a lot of dynamism with her campaign – why not go with the good on paper guy?
Anon
Because it diminishes the dynamism, it doesn’t enhance it.
anon
Why is he not a succession candidate?
Anonymous
No. He started the whole “Republicans are weird” thing. Pure genius imo and definitely not boring.
Runcible Spoon
Tim Kaine was a little too east-coast, and a professional politician. (Granted, at this point Walz also is a professional politician, but he has a bunch of other work experiences that compensate, if compensation is needed.)
Anonymous
out of curiosity, who do you think would have been the dynamic candidate?
Twitter is IN LOVE with Walz for what it’s worth. He’s way more meme-able than Kaine.
JTM
I am so excited about this pick! I lived in MN for many years and voted for Walz when he first ran for governor in 2018. I have many friends still in the state and they are in support of the work he & the DFL controlled Legislature have done in the past 2 years. Plus he correctly said that what Tr*mp & Vance are doing is “weird”.
Anonymous
+1, I love the energy that he’s bringing!
Anon
I’ve heard he’s quite left-leaning. Comes off as a moderate because he’s a white man in the Midwest.
Anon
From what I read, when he was in the House he was more moderate but as Governor he’s been more progressive. I like this – shows he can read the room and be strategic about what types of policies to pursue and when. Also suggests he can work across the aisle, which is important. And that he’s not so tied to one ideology that he can’t pivot to what’s best for his constituents.
anon
Well, that’s the best of both worlds, then.
Anon
+1
Anonymous
+1
Anon
So the voters can think they are voting for one thing and get something different? How is that good?
Anon
It’s not like he’s hiding his views and policies – you can find them easily enough. But, for people who are focused on identify politics or who won’t do their research and vote off of looks or who aren’t comfortable with a Black / Asian female president they’ll see a white Midwestern veteran.
Anon
I despise the fallacy that being “moderate” is always good, that “extremism in any direction is bad,” etc.
That’s not a comment on Walz, per se. Just the way I hear people (including in this thread) designating themselves as “moderate” as though that’s both meaningful and measured drives me up a wall.
Anon
I have identified myself as a moderate democrat a few times on this thread – not because I think I need to signal that its better or anything, but because when discussing policies and candidates I think its helpful to know “who” you’re debating with.
I’m a moderate because that’s where I feel comfortable and what aligns most with what I agree with, not because I think its good or being a progressive is bad. It’s just my comfort level. There are some policies where I’m a progressive, and there are some policies where I’m full on moderate, but most of my views are moderate democrat. If not using the term moderate I’d describe myself as left as center or liberal but not progressive, leftist, far left, etc.
Anon
Sure. Defining oneself as moderate because it best describes your beliefs makes sense. I just mean that there’s often a suggestion that “moderation” means measured, which is always good. And that’s not necessarily true.
Anonymous
Not the OP, but I would call myself a Liz Warren democrat but I worry that descriptor is fading since her presidential run was almost 10 years ago. I’m very progressive on some (most?) issues, but not so far L as the campus protestors.
Anon
I’m a regular old fashioned liberal who believes in gradual progress and not absolutism. That makes me moderate for the current left wing, but my beliefs have been basically the same since I voted for Al Gore.
Anonymous
He’s a great pick generic charismatic pro union white dude. He has all the characteristics he needs and appeals to a lot of folks. Love this pick both from a strategy and policy perspective.
Anonymous
MN Dem here, and I’m meh. If we only had his first term to go by, I’d be in the thrilled camp. But second term, he’s really leaned into ultra-progressive politics, to a degree that this lifelong Dem has had it. I don’t appreciate extremism on either side of the aisle, and he’s been giving the middle finger to the business community in MN in a way that is neither helpful or necessary, as it is a critically important sector in our economic and social environment. It’s felt performative. I desperately want someone who can help Harris bring over the middle of the road folks, and I am not sure he is it. I trust her though, and have to believe that in the calculus that all of the candidates brought to the table, his was the most promising. But am I thrilled? Nope.
Anonymous
Comments like this make me so sad for the US. The US has so much potential to do great things, you could save so much money AND lives with universal healthcare, mega corps are prime for labour reform, but just….nothing. How does the neoliberal belief run so deep? Every American I’ve ever met is jealous of my vacation days but they won’t vote for the same themselves.
Anon
Um no thanks. I’m good here in the USA. You can keep your socialism.
Anonymous
Right? Who wants paid maternity leave or enough vacation days? The worst.
Anon
I have all those things here. I’m okay with not paying all my salary in taxes.
Anon
Okay, but a lot of people DONT have those things through their jobs. Don’t you want to ensure that everyone, especially the “least” among us, has those protections and benefits?
We don’t vote (or shouldn’t vote) just for our best interest, but rather for society’s best interest – which includes looking out for the least fortunate among us.
I believe that societies are measured by how they look after all citizens, not just the fortunate ones.
Anonymous
What do you consider to be socialism? Because I don’t think you know what European countries are really like. Sure you pay higher taxes, but life there is still cheaper. I suggest you pretend to be interested in educating yourself and read a few articles about what you get for those higher taxes, before spouting Trump-like nonsense.
Anon
In this country, you are entitled to your opinion and I’m entitled to mine.
Anon
Of course we’re all entitled to our opinions, and my opinion is that if you get what you want and then pull the ladder up after you instead of helping others get those benefits then you’re a sh!t human.
Anonymous
“I’m okay with not paying all my salary in taxes.”
You do realize that tax rates in US are not so far off most other developed countries? Like OECD average is only 7% different from US? And that includes countries with tons of services like Denmark. Compared to less socialized countries like Canada or Australia, the difference is even less.
Anonymous
“In this country, you are entitled to your opinion and I’m entitled to mine.”
Also the case in every other Western democratic country. Not exactly special or unique right.
Anon
Attitudes like the one expressed by Anon at 10:07 are why we can’t have nice things. I want vacation days and no medical bankruptcy
Anon
Yea I understand that some jobs come with certain benefits (paid vacation, maternity leave) which is why they are more competitive but everyone should have health insurance and not have to worry about going bankrupt on top of a cancer diagnosis.
Anon
maternity leave is healthcare, not a fun benefit.
Anon
Europeans love to tout the benefits of their country but not acknowledge their stagnating economies that are in much worse positions than the US. We all don’t want to be like them.
Anon
Oh, jeez. Yet another American who actually doesn’t understand what “socialism” means.
Anonymous
There’s such a balance. Yes, no one wants to go into bankruptcy for a cancer diagnosis, but has anyone seen that the NHS in England is refusing to approve a very robust new breast cancer treatment (Enhertu) because it’s specifically for Stage 4 and therefore it’s ok to just let those women die? This is not what I want either…
Seventh Sister
Honestly, I just don’t think Americans care enough about their fellow Americans to support universal healthcare. So many things (fairly or unfairly) are presented as a zero-sum game to Americans, and health care is one of them. We are also routinely compared to countries that have smaller populations than some of our less-populated states – e.g., there are about as many people in Sweden as there are in North Carolina (a midsize Southern state). It’s a lot easier to get several million people to agree on a plan than it is to get several hundred million people to agree.
Anon
Boy, I don’t agree with this at all. I think people don’t trust their government to competently manage a healthcare system, which is not entirely unreasonable if you look at the government’s management of student loans, veteran’s benefits, etc.
Anon
When one party goes off the rails and refuses to do anything across the aisle, it doesn’t benefit the Dems to stay moderate. I’m naturally more moderate, but realize any progress is only going to come from being further left since no one will compromise anymore.
You may think that it doesn’t matter in state politics, but it does. These ideas get socialized and normalized at all levels so voters in MN get used to these ideas in state races and then go vote nationally. People in other states hear and see what’s going on in MN and get used to ideas. Other legislators see how things are going in MN and then tailor their plans accordingly.
I would never, ever want Bernie to be my president but I appreciate the role he plays in moving the rhetoric to the left. For example, my ideal is “medicare for all who want it” as well as retaining the option for private insurance; however, that idea doesn’t get any traction without people further left pushing for medicare for all. You need the COs and CAs to push for legalization and regulation of weed before more culturally conservative states adopt it. You need strong support for unions in a few states in order to make it a national priority.
KJ
What, specifically, has he done to “give the middle finger to the business community”?
Anon
this, I’m not in MN and not terribly familiar. I would love to hear more details on this.
PolyD
I guess because Minnesota is only ranked 6th in the nation for business friendliness?
https://www.cbsnews.com/minnesota/news/minnesota-is-ranked-6th-in-the-nation-for-business-a-new-study-finds/#:~:text=finds%2520%252D%2520CBS%2520Minnesota-,Minnesota%2520is%2520ranked%25206th%2520in%2520the,business%252C%2520a%2520new%2520study%2520finds&text=MINNEAPOLIS%2520%E2%80%94%2520A%2520recent%2520study%2520shows,of%2520life%2520and%2520business%2520friendliness.
Honestly, when I hear a state is “not good for business” I hear, “This state won’t let me squeeze all I can out of workers while paying crap wages and looking to evade all taxes that might help the community in which I am located.”
Anon
I’m actually a pretty moderate dem (definitely not a progressive), but I also operate with the belief that most corporations are evil. A necessary evil, of course, but still ethically on the wrong side of many issues. There are a few exceptions, but since most put profits over people, the community, and the environment which I find to be morally reprehensible.
I recognize there’s a fine line to walk because a) businesses have the freedom to operate the way they see fit and to respect the free market and b) a healthy economy depends on businesses doing their thing. But, that being said, most are still acting in their best interest only and not the best interest of the country and its citizens or the planet.
Can you tell I’ve worked my whole career in government and non profits :)
Anonymous
Bad for business usually means worker protections. How horrible that the corporate overlords can’t kill and maim their cattle.
anon
Agree. Look where pandering to business has gotten us: $6 for a box of cereal and massive profits for the oil companies.I’m fine with a bit of unfriendliness to them for a while.
Anon
Look at California if you want to see the extreme in bad for business. We recently passed a $20 minimum wage for fast food workers. The chains quickly cut back hours and let more machines do the job.
anon
But I’m in a state with a minimum wage no where near $20, and our fast food has done the exact same thing. This started during COVID, when fast food realized it could sustain itself just fine using tech, more drive through, fewer workers, data harvesting Apps and keep raising prices along the way.
This was already happening. You just missed it, I guess?
Anon
Re fast food. I didn’t miss it. They started the shift to tech in Covid in CA too. The increase to $20 an hour only made it more pronounced.
Anon
Ahh yes, California. The state that famously has very few businesses, much less successful ones.
Anon
Ahh yes. California with a population decline as its residents seek a more affordable and tax friendly state.
Similarly, all the businesses looking for a way out. Chevron just moved their headquarters from California to Texas. Our local Chevron refinery is also facing new taxes from the city to make up for its budget deficit. If that succeeds the refinery very well may close up shop. It’s a very real possibility and if that happens the millions in tax revenue it already provides the city along with the thousands of jobs will go too. It will also drive gas prices up in the state even further.
Some of us live in these progressive enclaves and see the real effects in action. Not just the theoretical.
Anonymous
This is concerning, I have very strong reservations about progressivism and its tactics. I abhor the way many progressives think that any one that disagrees with them is a horrible person and should shut up. This is new information for me, so I’ll watch closely, thanks.
Anon
He’s not that kind of progressive.
Anonymous
Yikes
Anon
I’m a progressive and don’t think anyone else with a different opinion should shut up. What a judgmental comment!
Anon
Yeah that was kind of pot meet kettle
smurf
also a MN dem and no idea what you’re referring to?? what ultra progressive politics – strengthening abortion rights & free lunches for kids? Is that what we’re calling ultra progressive now?
Truly, what has he done that’s ‘giving the middle finger to the business community?’ paid parental leave?
Anon
I’m moderate and I’m not sure he was the right pick electorally. I think at this point it’s more important to appeal to moderates than progressives, and policy wise it’s pretty clear he’s to the left of Kamala.
I’m also not thrilled about someone who got a DUI being one heartbeat from the presidency. I don’t know that it hurts him with voters (Cheney, Bush etc., did very well) but I’ve lost a lot of respect for him personally since learning about that.
Anon
I’m obviously very against drunk driving, but from what I can tell the DUI was in1995. I’ll choose to believe he’s grown as a person since then. And, there’s no such thing as a perfect candidate.
Anonymous
I agree! In 28 years a lot can change, learning and growing is part of being human, it’s deeply unfair to discount all the great work he’s done in the time since the incident.
Anon
Yeah but he was 30 in 1995, not 17. I get that it was a long time ago but hard to justify it as a youthful mistake.
Anon
Cultural attitudes towards drinking and driving (especially in the midwest) were VERY different in 1995. And very different when he came of age. Not saying it was okay, but one of the biggest cultural shifts I’ve seen in my life is around drinking and driving. I think it’s been an even bigger shift than smoking cigarettes, which has also been a huge shift.
Anonymous
30 is not 17 but people don’t stop growing at 18. I made decisions in my late 20s/early 30s around relationships and finances that I’ve since learned from. I’m a more balanced person at 45 than I was at 30.
Anon
Yeah, I don’t say this to excuse it, but as someone who was a teenager in the Midwest in the 90s, attitudes were very different, especially in rural areas where you didn’t have Uber or public tr*nsit or any other alternatives to driving.
Anon
I grew up in the Midwest too and was a teen in the 1990s. I never drove drunk nor did any of my friends. There’s a big difference between breaking the law in ways that don’t harm anyone (e.g., drinking underage, smoking pot) and something like this that could have killed someone. I applaud him for growing and changing, but it’s still disappointing me that a full grown adult would drive with a blood alcohol level that high.
Anon
Must be nice being perfect, Anon at 10:34!
Anon88
He’s also been sober since then.
Anon
And as governor has worked on combatting opioid and substance abuse too.
Odd bone to pick
I can’t even imagine how someone could be more bothered by a DUI in the 90s for a VP than a series of convictions for Trump and proven tyrannical behavior in 2020 and repeated recent comments suggesting continued intent to interfere with the rule of law and peaceful democratic transfer of power. Like yeah, DUIs are bad, but it doesn’t even register when I look at the alternative.
Anon
I didn’t say I was more bothered by it than Trump. I said I was bothered by it. Those statements aren’t the same thing at all.
Anonymous
But Trump isn’t the comparison point, the other VP candidates are. I don’t think anyone was suggesting they wouldn’t vote for the ticket because of this, just that someone else might have been a better VP pick.
Anonymous
Not only was the DUI nearly 30 years ago but the man has been SOBER since and actively supports addiction measures. Criticizing him for it is so disingenuous, he did a bad thing yes, but he changed, learned from it, and even went many steps beyond that to help others with similar issues. Hes basically peak moral progress, we should be inspired.
Anon
Yeah,he literally did EVERYTHING right after it!
anon
This is quite impressive, actually. Now I respect him more. And this is a guy who now has an important perspective, as a politician.
Anon
You know what? It’s okay to still care about things that show poor character. It doesn’t mean that you’ll vote for Trump over the dem ticket.
Anon
Yes thank you. That’s all I’m saying. I’m not sure how people got “I’m voting for Trump” from “I don’t think it’s awesome Walz got a DUI.”
Anon
Honestly, with what is at stake this election so publicly drawing attention to a negative about a candidate, especially one from 30 years ago where he has taken many measures to do better, is not helpful. There’s no wiggle room here, so keep these thoughts to yourself.
Anonymous
But does it show poor character to make a mistake and then actively work against people making the same mistake for decades? That’s the kind of character we want instead of politicians who pretend they are infallible.
Anon
I dunno, there’s a balance there – yes, it’s good to show moral and personal growth; and yes, people need a way to continue with their lives, even after serious crimes (which a DUI is) – but being vice president is definitely a “privilege not a right” situation. Some crimes /should/ have a permanent effect on you, and even close off opportunities forever
oh please
Anon @10:49am – “There’s no wiggle room here, so keep these thoughts to yourself.”
Ah – there’s the “shut up”
Anon
@10:49, this is a very bad opinion, and maybe you should keep it to yourself.
Anonymous
I don’t care about the DUI personally, but I strongly disagree with this idea that we can’t say anything negative about anyone on the left. Let’s leave that kind of authoritarianism to Republicans, please.
Also it’s widely known so I’m not sure what harm comes from discussing it, when everyone reading already knows about it.
Anonymous
If that’s the worst of the opposition research, I’ll take it.
NYNY
The thing that I think is great about Walz is how he communicates the moderation and common sense of progressive policies. As an example, free school meals for all is great policy not only because it ensures that the poorest children eat, but also because it removes the administrative apparatus of means testing and collection. And for those saying he isn’t a succession candidate, you know he’s 60, right? In 8 years *knock wood* he will be 10 years younger than the guy the GOP is running now.
Anon
I don’t want a 68 year old running for president.
Z
In potentially 8 years. Personally, I want to see Whitmer run. There’s a deep bench of younger talent, he won’t be the only option.
Anon
Right, that was in response to the idea of him being a succession candidate.
Anonymous
Free school lunch programs are pushed strongly by food service companies that make money on them. I don’t see any reason taxpayers should pay for lunches that parents can pay for. Administrative costs? If only we had computers! It’s a scam with tremendous waste. It’d be much, much better to buy lunch for children that need it year round.
Anon
In many areas you sign up for free school lunches. They don’t means test, but if you don’t want or need them you can opt out.
Clearly you’ve never administered a government program – even with computers there’s still a lot of work for humans to do.
Aren’t the parents paying for these lunches via taxes like the rest of us? Its not like the parents get anything extra. To me this is no different than paying taxes for public schools even though I don’t have kids.
Anon
Free school lunch programs often generate revenue because less children use them than the amount allocated to the school. My state implemented universal access, and school districts are making money off of it, while the burden of collecting and verifying paperwork is reduced. Funny you’d say “computers” can do verification. Computers paid for with what…tax dollars? Public schools aren’t awash in the latest technology.
Seventh Sister
Tell me you don’t know anything about the computer systems at public schools without telling me you don’t know anything about the computer systems at public schools.
But if you’re serious, why stop there? Charge the kids whose parents can pay for pencils! Toilet paper! Books! Chairs!
Anonymous
In our district parents do have to provide pencils, cleaning supplies, etc.
Anon
There are different kinds of 68 year olds, and honestly, he doesn’t seem all that vibrant right now.
Anon
Ok guys, calm down. He got a DUI in 1995, learned his lesson, and has been sober since. Sheesh.
Anonymous
+1, what on earth.
Anonymous
I don’t think Walz’s DUI is disqualifying, especially with what he’s done in the years since and getting sober, but I do think it’s unfair (and revealing of some anti-semitism on the left) that Shapiro was basically disqualified by a college essay with criticism of Palestinians and everyone is cool with the DUI. Virtually every person wrote cringey things in college, most didn’t drive drunk.
Anon88
I’m a leftie democrat and extremely excited about this pick!
anon
Same. I’m watching his address to Esri (mapping software) last month on another tab.He’s done so much and his heart is in the right place in so many ways. What a treasure.
I could not care less about an ancient DUI. And agree with Anon at 10:09 that drinking and driving in the car-centric Midwest was very much a thing; a “go-cup” was a thing; and yes, we’ve all changed.
Anon
I was there for that conference and it was amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anon
I work in MN State gov’t so speak from direct experience. I think it’s a fine pick. The folksy, small town schtick isn’t a gimmick – there’s not an elitist bone in his body. He’s a moderate that’s shifted slightly left over the years, in alignment with the party. He’ll talk and listen to anybody, and he’s a very effective messenger of how and why liberal / progressive policies can help rural and middle class families. Democrats are famously bad at messaging outside of their bubbles, so this pick makes a lot of sense to me. And, MN does top lots of measures in terms of quality of life, access to health insurance, good schools, fiscally responsible gov’t, etc.
Anon
This is so great to hear!
I work in local government in a big city and I put so much stock in what government employees / bureaucrats under an elected say. Even being pretty far removed from the executive, you learn a lot about them as a person and a politician. And, how they are as a boss is important too.
Anonymous
Eh I’m a moderate to almost conservative Democrat who is business focused so I’m not excited by this at all but when the other option is fascism, I’ll go with it. I get why she needed to pick him – Shapiro wasn’t going to turn out the college kids who are a huge voting block as they only want a progressive and Shapiro had come out against college protests etc. But I also think they are now taking a HUGE risk because Shapiro is so hugely popular and could have easily delivered Pa. He says he’ll still campaign for her but IDK if it has the same effect if he isn’t on the ticket.
But yeah not thrilled at the amount of tax dollars that are going to be wasted on free breakfast in school or student loans or whatever if they win. But then what’s the alternative as the other ticket is crazy crazy.
Anon
God forbid the children get fed!
I’m in PA – Shapiro is popular, but young voters and progressives of all ages were not going to vote for him. They’re annoyingly focused on Palestine and not the fact that our own country is on the verge of crisis.
Anonymous
YES, feeding impoverished kids is really such a morally reprehensible waste of money, we should be giving businesses even more subsidies so it will trickle down. (/s if it isn’t obvious).
anon
I live in Philly and we had a news piece not long ago about how the vast majority of free school breakfasts and lunches get thrown away because the kids don’t want them. We have a high poverty rate. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for tax dollars to be spent on programs that actually work, and not to have our money thrown in the trash. A quick search shows that the issue isn’t just Philly either.
Anon
I’m in Philly too – can you provide the link please?
Anonymous
I don’t think that’s a policy problem that’s an execution problem, where I live the free lunches are all eaten because they’re made of real food, you can’t say a policy is bad when megacorps are providing garbage.
Anon
Yup, Kids probably arent’ eating them because they’re gross because we serve trash food in schools here. If we had palatable, healthy meals I don’t think it’d be an issue.
Anonymous
Exactly. Sometimes people are so naive and closed minded. No one is saying that school lunch and breakfast shouldn’t be provided to kids who need it. However, it’s a reasonable argument that do we need to supply free food to all students, and is there waste involved. It’s very selfish to complain that the food isn’t “good” enough so kids throw it out. If you can throw it out, you don’t need it and your behavior is unacceptable l. It’s far better to provide lunch year round to kids that need it.
Anonymous
Poor people deserve dignity too and shouldn’t be expected to accept highly processed trash food. Poor people also reserve autonomy which includes the choice of going hungry (or hungrier) rather than eat bad food. None of this would even be a problem if we just respected their humanity and fed them real food and veggies.
Anon
Amen! In our wealthy district in CA school lunch is free. It is convenient for me because not sending lunch money or loading their account it one less task for me but most everyone in our school could easily afford it.
I don’t know the economics or logistics of it but I have to imagine a lot of food is going to waste.
Programs that work is not a crazy idea.
Seventh Sister
We could (and did) afford to let our kids buy school lunch when it wasn’t free, but it’s lovely that it’s free. Our school is pretty economically diverse and you can’t tell who the wealthy kids are by their lunches.
Anonymous
School lunches get thrown away because the food is gross. Nobody wants to eat canned vegetables and mealy apples or drink chocolate milk with fake sugar in it. There’s also a perverse incentive for kids to take food they don’t want because thanks to subsidies it is cheaper to buy the official school lunch that must include a vegetable and milk and a bunch of other low-quality nasty stuff than it is to buy just the (same exact) entree a la carte.
Anon
Anon at 2:33, this must vary by district. In our district, there’s no option to buy a la carte. Everyone who buys gets the same lunch. It does include a vegetable, fruit and milk, but there’s a sharing bin where you can put (unopened) parts of your lunch that you don’t want, and those items can be taken by anyone, including kids who didn’t buy the school lunch. I think this is great – eliminates both food waste and child hunger, and it seems to work really well. (And fwiw the kids love the flavored milks! Never see those in the sharing bins.)
Anon
I’m sick of tax dollars being wasted on grift; at least debt forgiveness and feeding kids concretely benefits the people who make up my real life community.
Anon
Student loan forgiveness will only enable colleges to push prices up even more. It helps a select few while making the problem infinitely worse.
Anon
This is a policy challenge that is surmountable. It’s fine to handle past debt differently from future student loans.
Anon
Debt forgiveness is people who weren’t in a privileged enough position to go to college subsidizing people who were in a privileged enough position to go to college via increased taxes. It’s not a progressive program.
Anon
Wild to be opposed to feeding children, the literal future who will take care of us when we’re old. Those kids should just pull themselves up by their bootstraps and get to work at 10, right?
Anonymous
No but maybe parents shouldn’t be birthing kid if they can’t you know . . . feed them. I’m sorry parents do have SOME responsibility. It isn’t all on schools and government to pay for every little thing your kid needs.
Anonymous
How will your capitalist machine run without engine fodder?
Anon
Okay so what happens to children with irresponsible parents? (Also did you forget that we’re taking away the choice not to be a parent from many people?)
Anon
Well considering half of this country wants to outlaw aborition and may be coming for birth control next, you can’t have your cake and eat it too.
My mom, a Republican, is a teacher and always says that kids didn’t ask to be born, so now that they have been born, we all have a responsibility to take care of them. It’s not the kid’s fault that their parents cant afford to feed them, or chooses not to. The kid is “innocent” and doesn’t deserve to go hungry because a choice their parents did or didn’t make. There are lots of parents who are taking responsibility but something unexpected happened and now they can’t feed their kids, but yes, there are also lots and lots of parents who are not responsible and are being negligent parents. So, your dad is in jail and your mom is a drug addict and you are a child living in a house without utilities, without food, and around your mom and her drug abusing friends. Do you really deserve to not eat because of your parent’s poor choices?
You also don’t know what happened and why those parents can’t feed their kids. Were they both working but got laid off? Became disabled and can’t work anymore? We’re getting by before the last few years but now with inflation + housing prices + food prices they just can’t make it work anymore? Had to leave the workforce to caretake for a parent or child? Maybe your parents died and you’re being raised by grandparents who did not anticipate having to care for, and thus pay for, another generation. And they’re too old and infirm to work. Now what?
Maybe they weren’t planning on a kid or this many kids but weird things happened – mom was raped and chose to keep her baby, parents thought they were having one kid and had twins or triplets and now things are more expensive. Parents thought they could afford a kid, but kid was born with or developed an expensive medical condition and now that’s eating up the family’s money?
I hardly think that providing food to kids is having the school or government “pay for every little thing your kid needs”. It’s not like we’re feeding kids filet and lobster in schools, nor are we giving them designer clothing or other non-necessities. Shouldnt every child have access to a safe place to be and food while they’re there?
Anon
That’s fair. It’s the kids’ fault if their parents don’t/can’t feed them, and they should just be hungry all day so they can’t learn and have a chance to get out of poverty. Please continue.
Anon
If you can take responsibility for your kids, you should. But there’s a lot who either won’t or can’t – what happens to those children?!? If a kid isn’t being fed otherwise, OF COURSE we should be feeding them!!!
Anon
I completely agree and I’m annoyed at parents who have kids that they can’t afford to feed, house, clothe, etc. There’s a reason I’m not having kids! That being said, I’m all for free breakfast and lunch for kids who need it. How can you look at a child and say no to giving them food when they’re hungry? It even breaks my heart seeing children trying to sell candy on the subway. It’s so sad.
Anon
I’m a 40 something childless cat lady. I LOVE having my tax dollars spent to feed children, especially children of irresponsible parents, because it is 100% not the child’s fault. Children don’t pick their parents. They don’t ask to be born. Why should they be punished for faults of adults who are supposed to protect them?
Let me guess, you’re pro-life until birth?
Anon
Sounds like you agree that we need abortion to be considered to be basic healthcare, then, as well as easily available birth control, actual sex ed in schools, and books in libraries that don’t evangelize the public into ignorance.
Anon
Definitely. Don’t have a kid if you cant afford to feed them. So the kid can starve. That’ll teach ’em to be born to irresponsible parents!
RR
The solution to irresponsible parenting is not allowing children to die of hunger in the US. Surely, even Republicans can recognize that a starving child isn’t responsible for their parents’ behavior, even assuming that we should be villainizing poor parents?
Anonymous
Wtfw? What? I’m suuuuuure you say this as someone who 100000% supports a woman’s right to choose, right? Yup yup all parents should only have kids if they have the executive functioning abilities and money to feed them breakfast every day. We’ll add that to the parent test that all wanna-be parents must take. Thx for the suggestion.
Anon
Maybe we already feed kids via a host of other means, including free or reduced school lunches for kids who qualify.
Anon
What if your parents are too drugged up to fill out the paperwork needed to get these benefits? Or they don’t have the ability to fill out the forms (illiterate, don’t speak a language supported by the school district, no access to technology)?
I view school lunches like I view medicare – the ideal is “for all who want it”. We shouldn’t deny access to basic rights such as food, shelter, and medical care and it shouldn’t be means tested because means testing a) excludes people like those I mentioned above and b) does cause administrative bloat. But also, if you choose to provide your own lunch or have your own healthcare that’s fine too. If you’re able to afford it, you’ll probably want what you can provide yourself.
Anon
Thank you. Up thread someone said they don’t know any progressives that tell you to shut up if you don’t agree with them which I found so funny. This subthread illustrates the idea brilliantly.
You don’t have to give free lunches to everyone to feed hungry children.
Progressives leave no room for nuance. They just yell at you to shut up. :)
RR
Literally no one told anyone to shut up. This is a discussion. People telling you they think you are wrong is not the same thing as telling you to shut up. Please keep talking. It’s easier to identify who I want to spend time with.
Anonymous
Anon at 11:50, it’s not perfect but our (Title 1) school really works with parents who are eligible for free and reduced lunch but can’t fill out the form because they don’t speak English or have substance use issues. In the former case, they work with translators to help the parents fill out the forms and in the latter they often just circumvent the formal process and get kids food without official authorization. Teachers and principals know which parents aren’t able to send out healthy lunches and they keep tabs on those kids and make sure kids get what they need.
I’m fine with universal school lunches, it’s a much better use of my tax dollars than the military’s crazy inflated budget, but I do think good school districts try really hard to get kids fed even if parents don’t fill out the paperwork the way they should.
Anon
I truly believe that many of our countries issues (specifically drugs, guns, poverty) cannot be solved immediately, but will take a generation or two to change. And we change this with providing basic needs to the children, a good education, and overall a picture of hope that they have opportunities for a future better than their present – if you think you can get an education that will open doors for you maybe you’re less inclined to get involved in gun violence or sell drugs in your neighborhood. But, in order to do that, you need to be fed and educated in the meantime.
Cb
Those kindergarteners should pull themselves up by their bootstraps rather than expecting handouts… so what if they are so hungry they can’t focus on phonics?
Anon
Um… what? You oppose feeding children when they’re legally required to be at school for most of their day and many, MANY families can’t afford to feed the kids (or just don’t for whatever reason)? I’m not sure that you picked the right “waste” of tax dollars there. What a sad, selfish take.
Dem
“Wasted on free breakfast”. Do you people even hear yourselves sometimes? Corporations are making record profits everyday to line the pockets of millionaires and we can’t as a country feed our hungry children breakfast?
The student loan situation in this country is a night mare but for most people whose loans are forgiven then have paid what they owe many times over
Anonymous
What does corporations making record profits have to do with this? Corporations are making record profits because YOU have decided to buy whatever goods they sell, YOU have decided you need a new car every three years, YOU have decided you will take three vacations a year. Want those companies to make less money? Stop your daily Amazon and Target orders. As for lining the pockets of millionaires, shockingly those people paid money to buy stock in those companies and now they get to benefit from the profits. What do you think shares should be given away for free too so that everyone can benefit from corporate profit?
Anon
Corporations that are making record profits include corporations that make food and corporations that sell it. Lots and lots and lots of people aren’t spending foolishly but are struggling to afford daily needs right now.
I buy my groceries at Walmart because that’s the cheapest option. And Walmart had to lower prices because they, like many others, went too far with the corporate greed and were charging too high of prices and it was impacting their bottom line because me, and thousands like me, weren’t able to buy things from them that we once did because their prices were too high.
Anon
That’s not the only reason — the tax structures ensure those profits, as do the lack of worker protections and regulations. It’s such ignorance to place individual consumer principles as the main driver of corporate profits. It’s not.
Anonymous
So 1237 if a company offered a terrible good or service that no one bought, they’d still make record profits because of tax structures and abusing workers? Really? You must be a lawyer who runs away when numbers are discussed. Sure tax structures and fewer regulations helps you enhance profits – doesn’t make you profitable if your revenue is zero.
Anon
@12:56 — I’m not a lawyer, and the idea that I “run away when numbers are discussed” is laughable. My point is that refusing to think systemically and instead only resorting to thinking individually doesn’t do very much. To take a different example, we can talk all day about individuals recycling to deal with climate change. But that makes very little difference, actually; it’s systemic regulation and policy that makes a difference.
Obviously, no one purchasing anything from a single company won’t provide that single company profits. But to say “stop buying Walmart stuff and runaway corporate profits will be stopped” exposes some real ignorance about corporate protections as well as the enormous systemic issue about how money circulates — banks and airlines are good examples.
RR
Corporations are making record profits because our government has decided to not tax them and to allow them to exploit workers for that profit.
Sierra Madre, Treasure of
JFC how can you be against feeding literal children?
Anonymous
Your last paragraph is disgusting.
Anonymous
I agree – this stuff should be means tested with the free lunch tickets of when we were in school. No reason every kid in every school in the state needs free breakfast and lunch and no I don’t especially care what their home life situation is. If their parents care enough they can get themselves down to the school with paper work. If not oh well. When you have no means testing for these things it emboldens these parents further – oh no need to feed my kid, school takes care of that. Then you hear of the schools that are like we provide them food in their backpacks for weekends or we keep a school open in the summer so they can come get food, we have a laundry machine here for kids or whatever. Really? Why are these people even having kids?
Anon
Means testing is a waste of time and money though. Why hire a bunch of people for something like this? It’s cheaper and easier to make it available to everyone, it reduces stigma, and it’s the least the state can do if they’re forcing kids into school in the first place. If the message kids get from society at large is that they’re obliged to learn their letters but not worth caring for physically, it’s understandable if they check out.
Anon
Imagine how you would sound if you made this argument about borrowing library books, that kids whose parents can afford their own books should just be turned away. Is that how you want everything to work? The playground, the park?
Anon
Ok so what does “oh well” mean in your example? The kid goes hungry?
Sierra Madre, Treasure of
You’re incredibly cruel, 12:06.
Anon
With conservatives, the trend is increasingly that cruelty is the point.
Anonymous
I really think it was always the point. They’re broken people who are smitten on the inside that they assume everyone else is too.
Anon
I’d rather give all kids free food than single out the kids whose parents can’t afford it. Those kids are probably embarrassed and some would rather go hungry than let other students know they don’t have food.
Runcible Spoon
“If not oh well”? Seriously? The transaction/marginal costs of chasing parents down who owe, say, $13 for means-tested subsidized school lunches, on pain of their child being required to submit some sort of stigmatizing specially-colored lunch ticket for parents in arrears is eliminated and saves money when school lunches are offered to all for free. No need to hire staff to manage the means-testing, if all are eligible. And offering free lunch at school doesn’t mean a parent can’t pack a lunch for the student to bring and eat at lunchtime. So free for those who want it. Sheesh, the folks on this site who require human perfection is astonishing. Public policy is made for ALL people, including those who do not or cannot live perfect lives.
RR
Feeding children is so super annoying, amirite?
Anonymous
Bleh. Mark Kelly is the one who would have gotten me excited about this race. Or Gretchen Whitmer.
Anon
I’d be excited for this race if it was a pet rock v. Trump. We don’t have the privilege to be picky about who we’re excited about.
I was hoping for either Kelly or Walz – I feel like either were great options. I like Whitmer a lot too, but knew we couldn’t run two women on the ticket. Hopefully we’re building her up for a future run!
Anonymous
I can be as un-excited as I want to be as long as I still vote.
Anon
That’s great, but many other people whose votes are needed only vote when they’re particularly excited.
Anon
Whitmer/Kelly, Kelly/Whitmer would be my dream ticket. And Buttigieg somewhere we get to hear from him often.
Anon
I was hoping for boring, and he seems boring enough! I think some of the other candidates could be good presidential candidates in the future. I don’t see a need for KH’s VP to be a future presidential candidate. KH is exciting enough and doesn’t need her VP to be a distraction or to attract attention from culture warriors on the right or the left. I think running two very similar candidates would be weaker than someone who has less in common with KH. I’m fine with Shapiro staying where he is for now.
Anonymous
Seems to me like both parties turned to their respective bases with the VP selection. I still think this will be a turnout election and whoever excites the bases more will win
anon
Ugh, I’m having to decide whether to cancel a family getaway this weekend. We were planning to go to a lake 4 hours away. It’s supposed to be in the low 70s with rain showers off and on. It’s been in the 90s for weeks, so this is disappointing. Lake is located in a remote location with nothing to do except lake things. One of my kids wouldn’t care about getting rained on. The other would probably be quite miserable. Our lodging is in town, not right on the water, and holing up there doesn’t sound super appealing.
I’ve been looking forward to this for weeks; the promise of lake time has been getting me through the slog of summer at work. The kids start school next week, which means it’s probably now or never. :(
Would you bail or make the best of it?
anon
Also, I’m very salty because we have had a really rough streak with vacations gone wrong in the past couple of years. This was supposed to be the easy no-brainer.
Cat
Can you swap for an alternative? Like one of those Great Wolf Lodge type places? (Admittedly not as fun for you…)
Anon
Do not cancel!
Admittedly, I’m from a beach family, but in an area without too much to do besides the beach, but some suggestions for what we do when its rainy:
– So many board games, card games, and puzzles. Or, if your kids prefer crafts pick up some new crafting supplies as a surprise and break them out one day.
– There’s a lot we can do at the beach that isn’t just sitting on the beach: long walks on the beach are great on overcast days, biking, paddle boarding or kayaking or sailing.
– Lots of reading time (realize this may not be up your kids’ alley)
– lawn games like corn hole or badminton. Our town also has tennis / pickle ball courts and bocce courts and 2 playgrounds – depending on kids’ ages just trying a new playground is really fun.
– Any fun lake specific food or ice cream places to check out? You mention being in town – could you do a different fun treat each day? I’m not super strict about food, but the rules I do have go out the window on vacation.
– We don’t have a boardwalk in our town, but we have an arcade which is very popular.
– I’m not very strict on screen time, but a rainy day on vacation sounds like a good time for everyone to watch a family movie together – perhaps an age appropriate classic your kids havent seen?
– Try baking a new recipe with the kids
– Is the lake near hiking or a good county, state, or national park to explore?
– Smores by the fire pit, if your lodging has one.
If its not actively raining, or if its lightly raining, I find there’s still a lot that can be done outdoors (though, as you mentioned, this is kid dependent).
anon
Thanks for the ideas; I appreciate it. We were planning to bring our paddleboard and kayak anyway. I don’t mind cooler weather for those activities. I do think I need a backup plan if people get cold and/or cranky. There’s a bowling alley in town, which could be fun.
Anonymous
A sweatshirt and some candy and tell them to quit whining
Cb
Yeah, this is typical Scottish summer weather and we just wear a waterproof jacket and do what we normally do. I mean, you don’t want to eat ice cream in a true downpour, that’s messy, but if you can huddle under an awning, you’re fine.
Nudibranch
Yeah, this sounds like Coastal Oregon too.
Anon
Are kids old enough to be left at the house alone if they don’t want to partake? I really like the “I’m going to do this, you’re welcome to join” approach with cranky kids.
Anon
what do your kids like to do that maybe you don’t get enough time for at home? art projects? baking? science experiments? games? puzzles? i realize this is perhaps kid/age dependent and obviously not what you planned on doing this weekend, but when we are home i always feel like i need to get something done
Cat
how long is the trip? If it’s a washout and you’re going to be in the car 8 hours for two nights and one drenching full day, that sounds like a bad trade. If it’s 5-6 days and some of them will be rainy but some not, the ratio changes a lot.
anon
We were planning to leave Friday morning and come back Sunday afternoon. For Saturday, we had a rafting trip planned that still seems doable. It’s the Friday part that seems dicey. I guess we could just go for the float trip if we have doubts about Friday, but I kind of need to decide now if we need to cancel lodging.
Anonymous
Drive up Friday morning, maybe stop somewhere fun for lunch on the way, bowling on Friday afternoon, order pizza for dinner and have a movie night with the kids at your accommodation. Buy a bunch of fun popcorn flavorings before you go. Rafting trip on Saturday. Dinner out Saturday evening. Lake on Sunday or go for brunch and minigolfing or something either there or on the way back.
Anonymous
Ax throwing, bowling or an indoor climbing wall?
Jamie
Make the best of it. Take some games/activities that can be done indoors if it’s an absolute downpour. Try to scope out the town options for indoor activities—a museum, a few quaint local shops, etc. Maybe plan a day to review your photos from the non-rainy days. Plan to explore some interesting food choices, if possible, that are different from your at-home normal.
Anonymous
I wouldn’t even entertain cancelling. Go and make the most of it.
Anon
Same. It’s never crossed my mind to change a vacation plan because of weather, it only changes what I pack.
anon
Right? I don’t think I’ve ever canceled a trip or vacation, much less for something as easy to deal with as rain. I read a lot of good books on otherwise dull trips as a kid.
Anon
Definitely go and make the most of it. Make sure you have all the right rain boots and rain clothes to enjoy the time and go for puddle walks and throw sticks in the swollen creek and all of that. Bring some new board games and enjoy the rain.
Anonymous
Go!
Plan a couple activities in case it is a bit rainy. Go to the lake whenever the weather is good enough.
Easy rain activities – buy a couple new board games or puzzles, do a scavenger hunt in teams (photo one of like yellow car, maple tree etc) and whoever wins gets to pick the restaurant for dinner, blind bottle wine tasting for the adults and blind soda can for the kids (can they really tell if it’s sprite or 7up), look into activities where getting wet is part of the activity like river rafting.
Baseball hat under raincoat is key for my kid who hates rain. Dry face is all the difference somehow.
anon
That’s a good tip about the hat under the raincoat. Thank you!
brokentoe
Today is only Tuesday. Not sure where your lake is located, but here in the Land of 10,00 Lakes (aka Walz Country), it’s way too soon to trust a weather forecast several days out. Go!
Anon
I would still go, but I grew up swimming in the ocean in Maine which is 60 degrees in August if you’re lucky, so I have more of a tolerance for cold water than most.
anon
Fair point. I think the water temps will probably be fine.
anon
Same! We did Wells/Ogunquit a ton and it was COLD. Like, absurdly cold, I realize now as a 40 year old who has actually enjoyed warm water throughout my adult life. But, it was also fun? Part of the experience? Never once deterred us from going.
I’m team There’s No Bad Weather, Just Bad Clothing. Dress appropriate and get out there! It will be a good lesson for the kids, too. Maybe have something ready for them back at the house after a hike or paddleboard in the rain – extra treats, hot chocolate, a movie with popcorn… whatever suits them!
Anon
Cancel and go somewhere else.
Anon
There’s no such thing as bad weather, only insufficient clothing (or, I’ll add, poorly planned activities). I would say lean into it! One of my favorite weekends down the shore (of which I’ve had literally hundreds) was a mid 40s and rainy Memorial Day weekend a few years ago (our house does not have heat). We had a great time bundling up, playing board games for hours, and then going out to eat at a restaurant to warm up. It was all adults so there was a lot of drinking involved too, but it was a blast.
Anon
I highly, highly recommend a full rain suit – rain coat, rain pants, and boots. Rain pants are life changing.
Anon
I’d say go!
Do you have an old (because sand is rough) actual camping tent – with a rainfly – instead of a beach tent? Let the kid who doesn’t want to swim in the rain read or swim in there?
Terribly messy, but my favorite kid summer activity was riding bikes through the puddles if that might appeal to your kids
Anon
Do you know how accurate the forecasts are in the area? We went on vacation last weekend to the mountains. Weather had been high-80s and sunny for weeks before we went, and then abruptly the forecast changed to thunderstorms all day every day. We went anyway. Thunderstorms ended up being scattered, so we really only had one late afternoon that got rained out. Weather was otherwise sunny the whole time or 15 minute storms.
Anon
Yeah, IME the shore’s forecast always shows thunderstorms but they often don’t materialize. Or, if they do, it storms for a few hours then clears up.
Anon
I can’t imagine canceling for that.
Anon
Rain showers doesn’t sound like heavy rain all day. I think you still go and get out and about between showers.
Anonny
I love this look, but prefer a blouse or crisp button up as a stand-alone in the Summer. I am all about vests and waistcoats in the Autumn and Winter, but I just can’t make it work in the warmer months.
Jane
What would you pack for a month in Scotland and London at the end of August/beginning of September? Especially if you wanted to balance fashion and practicality, and want to look stylish in your pics. 35 year old curvy Apple shaped if it matters. Also taking recommendations and tips for Edinburgh and Glasgow.
Anon
Are you only doing Edinburgh and Glasgow in Scotland? For Fort William and northward, it’s pretty much jeans, boots, and sweaters or hiking pants, boots, and a fleece everywhere. For the cities, wear whatever you’d wear in the U.S.
Anonymous
I’d check the weather and pack jeans, cute tops, a cardigan and a sweatshirt and some sort of light rain coat, and cute dresses.
Cb
Don’t check the weather too carefully. We had torrential rain last night, which was not forecast.
Anonymous
A sweater. It’ll be colder than you think. Edinburgh’s great, though. All the usual touristy things are fun. Also, the “walk” up Arthur’s Seat is more strenous than it looks.
Cb
Haha, I see people doing it in flip flops and am horrified!
Cb
Just normal clothes plus a rain jacket. Make sure you’ve got an extra pair of shoes so you can leave one to try when you get soaked. But we often get a bit of extra sunshine in early September, so you might luck out.
Drop a burner email if you fancy an Edinburgh coffee!
Anonymous
If you’re doing any hiking then I recommend bringing hiking boots or at least shoes and pants that will dry much faster than jeans, like water resistant joggers. Dress in layers. Bring a scarf to ward against the damp.
NY CPA
Whatever you’d pack for a fall weekend trip in the US with some sort of rain jacket. It could end up warm but more likely to be highs in the 60s. I’d bring jeans, cute tops, light jacket, raincoat, sneakers, maybe a dress and flats for dinners if I felt like dressing up a bit.
I really liked afternoon tea at The Balmoral Hotel in Edinburgh.
Cat
In general I wear things that are my October – November clothes at home for Sept in northern Europe, but with the heat waves the early part of your trip may be more like summer clothing. You won’t know until closer to your trip if you’ll need to include some lighter pieces.
As far as style – no heels. Loafers, cute sneakers, etc.
Anonymous
Edinburgh:
You will need a thin outer layer that is wind and water resistant. A warm layer for any cold days. Flat shoes – hills and cobbles. I would bring some nice jeans, thin merino tops and maybe a maxi or midi dress with sleeves.
London:
Small umbrella (useless i Edinburgh if there’s wind), dress for 62 fahrenheit, with layers. It will be super hot on the tube, exception: Elizabeth line. Either chilly or super hot in a theatre, chilly in museums and like a weather bingo card outside.
If you forget to bring a suitable layer, you can always get a “Stormwear” coat at M&S:
https://www.marksandspencer.com/stormwear-funnel-neck-longline-raincoat/p/clp60683442
https://www.marksandspencer.com/cotton-rich-stormwear-longline-car-coat/p/clp60528139
Anon
Does anyone have a recommendation for a Colorado elder law attorney with expertise in guardianship and the rules for having power of attorney? We want to consult with someone to make sure we’re managing the care for my grandfather, who has dementia, in accordance with the law – basically as a “CYA” check. Denver area with ability to do Zoom would be great. TIA!
Colorado
Carla Little: https://littlelawoffices.com/
Anon
Her website seems to tout estate planning/financial planning – do you have experience with her office for issues related to POA and guardianship?
Anon
What do you think estate planning involves?
Anon
It’s very different for an independent adult planning their estate and family members trying to plan for legal rights and obligations for adults with diminished capacity. Not all law firms have good experience with the nuances of the latter.
Anon
I know nothing about her except what I read on her website. She had almost thirty years of experience and an LLM in estate planning and elder law, which tells me that she probably knows exactly how to handle this, and if not, exactly who would.
anon
I agree that you should look for someone specialized in elder care, specifically indicating guardianship if that is something you are going to pursue. If you are just asking general questions, then this may be less essential. But pursuing guardianship can be long, and hard, and is usually unnecessary in most functional families in dementia situations.
Anon
Looking for a recommendation for a good wet cat food for a 12 year old cat who is fit, but seems to be sensitive to her regular food – throwing up a lot. The vet hasn’t been able to find anything wrong but suggested maybe switching food. Any recommendations? Willing to pay for something clean and likely safe.
anon
we make our own raw food. high quality raw ground meat from a butcher plus food fur life powder supplement.
Anon
Blue Wilderness. Buy a few tins to see if she likes it; after that, save money and buy it by the case.
anon
I dice raw or cooked chicken breast or salmon for 4 year-old my cat most days, in addition to letting her free-feed kibble. It sounds indulgent, but ends up being cheaper than canned food, and she loves it. (Maybe TMI: I can tell the difference in her poop when I feed her canned food.)
Anonymous
For older cats it’s recommended you go lower protein since it’s easier on their kidneys. No recommendations though since all my current fluffs are young and it’s been a few years since I looked into specific brands.
Anon
We like the Tiki Cat Velvet Mousse packets!
Anonymous
The vet should be able to prescribe food and supplements to help, and if that doesn’t work, an anti-nausea medication.
My elderly cat was throwing up so much he dropped weight dangerously quickly; he went from 18.5 to 10 lbs in 6 months. We did bloodwork (repeatedly…) and finally an ultrasound and they could see inflammation in his lower intestine. They thought it’s either IBD or lymphoma but they said even a biopsy wouldn’t necessarily be conclusive, and unless I wanted to do chemo the treatment is the same either way. I didn’t want to put my 18 year old cat through that. We switched to a Rx food and started giving him anti-nausea meds once every 3 days along with a fish oil supplement. It’s been 1.5 years and he still throws up if he doesn’t have his medicine on time. But the inflammation is way down/undetectable. He’s turning 20 in a couple months!
Anon
I’m glad he is doing so well and that he didn’t need treatment beyond the Rx food!
For anyone else reading whose cat may not respond as well to a food change or whose cat definitely has SCL, the first line chemo med (chlorambucil) for IBD/SCL is not harsh on cats (veterinary chemo usually is not harsh); it has minimal side effects and can improve quality of life. But it is very immune suppressing and can increase the risk for “large cell” lymphoma. It’s sometimes used in combination with budesonide or prednisolone (which also have fewer side effects in cats than in humans).
Nausea meds also absolutely improve quality of life. My cat was on Zofran and it seemed to work as well for him as it’s ever worked for me (i.e. like magic).
Anon
Purina pro sensitive stomach
Anon
Cat food has changed a lot in recent years. Pea protein and tapioca upset both my cats’ stomachs. Carrageenan seemed to be a trigger for my cat who had IBD.
Purina Pro Plan Senior Prime Plus is a generally recommended senior formula for longevity. It does have added inorganic phosphates which may be a concern for kidney health, but most cat foods do since they’re generally not palatable without it. Kidney numbers are usually on senior panels so you’d know if it became a concern.
If your cat is very sensitive, Ziwipeak has very simply formulated wet foods, and that is what my IBD cat ended up being able to tolerate. We made the mistake of introducing novel proteins in case it would settle his stomach before he was diagnosed with IBD. Unfortunately introduced proteins are no longer novel and no longer reliably therapeutic after starting the IBD medications, so in retrospect, trying different meat sources was a mistake that narrowed our options when a novel protein was really needed.
An.On.
I use Hill’s Gastrointestinal Biome, but you need a prescription for it, so you’d need to ask your vet. It does seem to have a huge impact on the vomiting though.
Anon
Thanks everyone for the ideas – helpful to have a few brands to check out. She does need a urinary formulation as well (history of crystals) so I will see what these brands offer! The vet prescribed the previous brand but it’s clearly not working for her now.
Kat
Try getting a good without chicken in it – they are hard to find but it fixed my cats IBS. You have to read the ingredients to be sure, but there are varieties out there both wet and dry that have no chicken. Almost all cat foods contain it and it is a typical allergan. You can get hydrolyzed protein food from your vet but give this a try first. Instinct has some good dry and some of the fancy feast flavors have no chicken. Chewy allows you to add a search criteria of no chicken.
KJ
These just scream micro-trend to me. I think we’ll look back and wonder why everyone decided to wear vests with nothing underneath non-stop for 3 years.
Anonymous
I didn’t look good in this trend in the 90s, I’m not going to even try now.
Anon
I am not onboard with the vest trend shown here, but I’m very into sweater vests with nothing underneath (or, as they’re being marketed now, sleeveless sweaters).
anon
Yeah, I’m a hard pass on vests.
anon
Like all trends these days, it cycles in/out of trendiness over the years. Styling is everything.
20 years ago we would have laughed at all the people wearing big white grandpa sneakers and cropped short “floods” pants. Everything looks silly until we decide it’s not.
We loved being brainwashed by the fashion industry to get us to buy!
That’s why I’m here ;)
Anon
I am 100% laughing at people wearing wide leg floods and grandpa sneakers. Sorry not sorry.
anon
I don’t care if it’s fashionable; it’s also hideous.
Anonymous
Help me think through the ethics of origination credit splitting. I’m an income partner with a small but growing book. My firm disfavors OG credit splitting. I’ve helped to lead the charge to institute policies to share credit where credit clearly needs to be shared, like when a partner brought in a client 30 years ago and doesn’t even know the name of the current general counsel but a more junior partner has taken over and manages the client relationship. My firm expressly disallows credit sharing where one partner brings in the client and another does the work.
I personally believe that if a partner does the work and because of their work the client opens new matters, credit for those new matters should be split. There’s a big divergence of opinion on this. I have never been the recipient of OG sharing under these circumstances – I have asked and in one case went to the mat over it but the powers that be said no. I’ve had other partners ask to share credit for my clients when they open new matters, and I’ve always said yes because I think it’s the right thing to do. But now I’m giving away way more credit than I’m receiving back. I want to be fair and I want to lead by example, but it’s starting to feel like I’ll never be a true partner if I keep giving away credit under circumstances where others are keeping it.
I think the answer might be that I need to find a firm that aligns with my views on credit sharing. I generally like my firm and the people I work with, I don’t really want to move. But the current batch of leaders are relatively young (50s?) and have the same philosophy on splitting as the outgoing leadership. Is it possible to succeed in this environment by giving people credit that I think they deserve even though I don’t get credit under the same circumstances?
Anon
Girl, get your book together and walk to another firm that will give you OG credit.
Anon
Stop giving credit to partners who don’t return it. They will figure it out. Some people need to feel pain to change, and that’s not always a bad thing.
OP
Oh I’m not giving credit to people who don’t give credit back. It’s different sets of people. Generally, more senior partners are giving out work and refuse to share OG credit. Like, say I’m a litigator and a transactional partner has a client with a litigation matter. I handle it with little/no input from that partner. Sharing under that circumstance is not allowed. But then let’s say the client has another litigation and contacts me directly. I think credit should be shared but the partner says no.
Now let’s say the reverse happens for me. I’m a litigator and I develop my own client, who later has a transactional matter. I contact a partner (NOT the one above, someone who actually does work, which means they’re a junior partner or counsel) and hand over the reins on that matter. No credit splitting because it’s not allowed. But if the client has another transactional matter and goes back to the person I connected them with, I’ll split credit on that matter because I think it’s the right thing to do.
Anonymous
Are you allowed to say no to projects then? If the partner won’t share credit can you just be like well good luck on your litigation!
Anon
Then don’t split in the last circumstance.
OP
Idk where my response went, but it’s different sets of people. I wouldn’t share with someone who refused to share with me.
Anonymous
“but the powers that be said no”
So they can say no when you’re the beneficiary but not when someone else is? That’s wild and sounds like you are being taken advantage of.
OP
In my case, the originating partner said no, I felt that firm policy was on my side so I escalated it, and was still told no.
In cases where others ask me for credit, I have always said yes; no one has had to escalate to fight me on it. I’ve also offered even if it wasn’t requested when I’ve felt it was appropriate.
Josie P
Stop doing that. You’re only hurting yourself. If you want to change the policy, I would seek out another firm. Sorry that this is the way it is.
RR
I don’t think screwing over others is the way to deal with being screwed over, so as long as you are at that firm, I’m a fan of treating people the way I want to be treated. I would strongly recommend not assisting others with bringing in work you are not getting credit for. If they don’t think they need you, let them figure out how to bring it in themselves.
That said, I think you should find another firm. Your firm’s policy is crazy.
I’m an equity partner. Our general rule is that the reason the work came in the door gets the credit, but that doesn’t mean just origination. If a transactional attorney has a client that they can only bring in because I have the niche litigation expertise to do the work, it should be split with me. It’s not perfect, but it generally works that way.
Anon
I have gotten really into grapefruit radlers this summer, mostly because they’re delicious but I also appreciate that they’re a low alcohol (usually between 2 and 3%) alternative to a beer. I usually have a no drinking at home unless hosting rule for myself, but have found myself allowing the radlers. Which, is fine on the surface – I still mostly only drink socially and don’t drink a ton in any one sitting (one radler if I’m home and not hosting, a few drinks over several hours if I’m out with friends). But, I’d like to go back to no drinking at home unless hosting. I have found for all things – diet, exercise, drinking, chores, and the like I”m an abstainer and not a moderator.
All this to say, I”m looking for an alternative that’s just as tasty as a radler but is NA. Seltzers, including spindrift, don’t do it. I do like a grapefruit soda, but I also try to keep real soda as an occasional treat and I try to totally avoid artificial sweeteners (so no Fresca).
I’m sure there’s something I can replace my new radler habit with, but I need help brainstorming!
Anonymous
Add sparking water to various juices. Try a few combinations to see what you like best. Elderberry can be quite nice or mango. Radlers started because mountain bikers in the Alps requested half juice half beer at mountain huts when biking (radler means cyclist in German). So if you’re using a sparkling water or a NA beer and mixing it with juice, you’ll get something similar.
Anonymous
I really like tart cherry juice with seltzer.
Anon
Athletic Brewing makes a radler. I’ve never tried it, but everything else I’ve had of theirs’ has been really good.
Shelle
I drank their radler this summer at the beach, can confirm it’s tasty! I don’t generally like NA beers.
Anonymous
If you want a “beer” flavor, I like Athletic’s NA beers. You could mix an NA beer with a grapefruit soda to approximate the radler flavor. I also like Topo Chico’s lime and mint flavored sparking water, I think the mint gives it an extra zing that’s kind of alcohol-ish.
PolyD
Lightbulb – I love micheladas, and while I am not really concerned about my drinking (I love a good drink when I’m out but could take or leave it most nights at home), I bet NA beer would work well for those. I like the idea of mixing it with grapefruit soda, too (fellow radler lover here).
Anon
Could you do seltzer water and grapefruit juice? I too love all the alcoholic grapefruit drinks and this satisfies that urge.
Anon
this is all great, thank you!
IME the radlers are more bitter than grapefruit soda but less bitter than grapefruit juice + seltzer water. If anyone has figured out the magic recipe, let me know!
I actually would be totally fine without the beer flavor (and when I want it will definitely do an Athletic NA beer – I love them!), as the flavor part I really love is this mysterious mix of grapefruit flavor that I can’t figure out.
Spindrift seems to be closest, but it’s still not right.
Anon
What about grapefruit juice, seltzer and bitters? Or a splash of kombucha? I think what you’re missing is the ‘funky’ flavor of fermentation which is hard to replicate.
Anonymous
Grapefruit Hop Water might be right up your alley.
Nesprin
Try adding salt! Grapefruit juice plus seltzer needs some balance- either salt the ice before adding juice or salt+/- sugar the glass rim.
Anon
They do make NA Radlers! I’d just look for one of those
Anon
And follow up question – I’m in PA with archaic liquor laws. Where do you recommend going for NA beers?
I could drive to Jersey or Delaware to stock up too.
Anonymous
Try adding grapefruit zest and a slice in your N/A beer. The bitterness and the smell is in the zest.
I find grapefruit sodas too sweet, and would rather add freshly squeezed, zesy and some seltzer to a Paloma than soda, as well. If I must use soda, I like the italian one, San something.
There are loads of N/A radlers on the European market, so if you have a specialty store near you, they might have them.
Cat
While they are alcoholic, a dash of bitters (so negligible ABV) in club soda, ginger ale, or tonic gives that bite that I seek in higher-alcohol drinks.
Jules
And there are grapefruit bitters!
Anon
Hop Wtr! The answer is Hop Wtr! (hopwtr . com) I started a lifelong medication this year which means I can never drink again (yeah, whoa). Hop Water is a seltzer that tastes a little hoppy (not like an IPA, think like Miller Lite) plus a bit of fruit flavor and has herbs like ashwaganda to chill you out at the end of the day. My favorite flavors are Blood Orange and Mango; Peach and Lime aren’t my jam; I haven’t tried Grapefruit or the new Black Cherry. Maybe it’s placebo effect, but I swear it relaxes me. Having one at the end of the day is my happy little ritual.
Depending on where you are, it can be hard to find in store. Order a pack on Amazon and try it out. Their prices can seem expensive, but I got a renewing subscription for 50% off during a July 4th sale, so I get a case delivered every month for way less than you pay in store or on Amazon. I hope it fits your need!
Anonymous
Similar situation, can’t drink due to meds. I wanted to love these so bad until I found out ashwaganda interacts with my medication. Looking for something similar without any added supplements.
Really appreciating the love for different NA options these days!
Anon
Have you looked at Recess? They have some adaptogens, but some without.
Waterloo seltzer has Rosé All Day and Mojito flavors.
I am so here for all the NA options, too! An NA “bar” just opened in town – I haven’t been yet, but I’m excited to go.
Anon
I keep wishing Green Cola would make a grapefruit soda (they’re stevia sweetened). Sometimes I get the lemon lime Green Cola and add fresh squeezed grapefruit juice or “True Grapefruit” crystals and blend with ice for a low carb virgin margarita.
For you, maybe the True Grapefruit crystals would help take something else you enjoy and make it grapefruity? Or you could try combining grapefruit juice with a grapefruit seltzer?
Anonymous
the best tasting NA beer is the Blue Moon NA. It actually tastes like beer and tastes good. I think Athletic tastes slightly off.
Anon
I haven’t had the Blue Moon, but I really like Heineken 0. It tastes very similar to “real” beer to me.
Anon
Thank you all so much! I’m going to try a variety of these and experiment a bit this weekend.
I also just want to say how glad I am that NA options are so widespread now, it’s great! Most of my drinking (unless I was at a party or going out to celebrate something) was because I like the taste and not necessarily because I wanted an alcoholic drink. So, I love having NA options that give me the same taste.
Anonymous
Late to the party, but look for a white balsamic vinegar that’s grapefruit flavored. I love a white balsamic vinegar/seltzer soda.
Anon
I like kombucha for this. I don’t think I’ve seen grapefruit kombucha, though.
Anyone here self published?
If anyone here is self-published, what advice do you have for choosing a publisher? Or working with amazon or similar? I’ve tried googling this, but much of what looks like advice turns out to be marketing.
NaoNao
I would think about the end game to make the choice–money, just having a book to hold and say you did it (which is 100% a reasonable end game!), family memories or mementos, etc. The major (and pretty much only) play is KDP and there’s good reasons to go with KDP–it’s easy, you have a built-in audience, it’s the major player, it’s expressly designed for self published authors, and so on.
If you want views, page reads, ratings, reviews, and basically any money whatsoever, I’d go with KDP. If you are, for example, publishing family letters or histories, I’d go with a small “vanity press” that makes a really pretty display book and does very small print runs.
Veronica Mars
Join the 50booksto20k group on Facebook.
emeralds
What genre are you in?
Anyone here self published?
Thanks all!
Anon
I self-published two books in the past year using Ingram Spark. I formerly worked in online publishing and have the technical skills to design and compose the book myself. I don’t care about making tons of money, I just wanted the book to be in the worldwide catalog so that it’s available through any bookstore worldwide (the river site or my independent bookstore down the street). If you study and follow the guidelines on the Ingram Spark site, and pay for help if you need it to construct the PDF that will be published, Ingram Spark is a very good choice.
Anon
Any advice for working with an EA who has a reputation for being acerbic?
My c-suite boss wants to free me up to focus more on higher-level work and suggested I start making use of his EA. She produces good work for him and is fine interacting with me under this direction, but she bullies, whines, and walks over our other colleagues in order to accomplish her tasks. My job is very relationship-dependent and I am hesitant to have her involved in my work because of how she treats people in the process. Since she does turn on the professionalism when clients or other executives are involved, my boss does not see this side of her and thinks I am simply having a hard time letting go of lower-level work.
Anonymous
Do you have any concrete examples of her behaviour? Otherwise if you bring this to your boss it will make it look like you don’t play well with others.
anonshmanon
And you have to know your boss here. I know some senior staff who perk up when I (mid-level) say ‘here is something that is not on your radar, specifically because of your place in the org chart’, and I know others who would bristle at the idea that they are not all-knowing.
anonshmanon
on second thought, maybe I meant their ears perk up. You know what I meant!
Anon
Yes, although my direct experience with her are mostly petty, small-potatoes issues (even if numerous). I have heard a number of second hand accounts that support and expand on my own observations but I am hesitant to raise hearsay to my boss at this point.
I think she is redeemable, I am just not sure how to frame this so she will take it seriously. “Stop being a B when asking people to help you” seems a bit on the nose, while more subtle or polite direction does not seem to sink in.
Anonymous
Ah yeah this is making you look not great
Anon
Perhaps an example will help.
She will nitpick how people format informal working-group emails. I can ignore when she complains to me about my use of punctuation in internal chatter or tell her it is not important and please stop fixating on this; however, when she drops me from an email chain that includes a scheduling request (fine) to scold (not fine) the vendor’s new hire because that they did not address their message to me with a salutation, polite opening statement, and did not sign off with a formatted signature block, it impedes my ability to connect with them to discuss next steps in ABC or review questions on project XYZ. She has gone so far as to call them and insist that they change their request to match her version of “professional business standards” before she will book them a time with me. These people then don’t want to ask her for time with me because they don’t want another dressing-down and instead play phone tag trying to catch me.
This is one example. I have asked her to be polite not just with clients but also with vendors and junior colleagues; she thinks that pointing out their unprofessionalism is a kindness. On the surface this is a small thing, but she alienates people by doing this. My boss thinks she just likes mentoring newcomers and sees no harm in it.
Anon
LOL, another commenter here. Thanks for this example. I know exactly the character type being described.
There’s no script for this—like you’ve already experienced, they’ll just drop you off emails and go to everyone else in the world before interacting with you once you’ve called them out on something. Maybe assign them more project oriented items to show you’re taking the CEO’s suggestion while doing the relationship building/meeting scheduling/etc. stuff yourself.
Runcible Spoon
OMG, this sounds pretty horrifying, that she would take it upon herself to chastise your contacts “for” you. She represents you and your organization, and when she presents poorly, that is a poor reflection on your business and she is letting you all down. Doesn’t seem like it should be her place to police other professionals’ formatting of emails (which are, by definition, informal) that are addressed to you — if you have a problem with an email writer, you will take it up with them, not her (without first checking with you). Is there any way to gently convey all this to her? “Please don’t do that without first checking with me — I often find it is more productive to overlook formatting errors, so I will determine when something is necessary to address with the email writer and I will do so myself, thank you.” Good luck!
Anon
Are your relationships with clients or execs or people she knows to play nice with?
Anon
“Bullies, whines, walks over” is really strong language and is very subject to interpretation. It sounds like she gets her work done and presents well externally. What specifically are you worried about in terms of your relationships? If she has a reputation for being a pain (So do I, at work, and sometimes it’s just necessary) then chances are internal people know how to work within those bounds.
Paging cc with the student loans
I am catching up on yesterday’s afternoon thread today, and I just wanted to shout out to cc if you’re here. I read your post yesterday and my stomach hurt right along with you. I’m so, so sorry. I can’t imagine your shock and horror upon realizing what happened. The PSLF rules are so complicated and constantly changing and the federal government is so obtuse about it, it’s no wonder this happened to you. You can ask three different people at Mohela (used to be Fedloan, before that Navient, I was on a fourth one too at one point, each switch initiated by the government) and get three different answers. You are not alone. You made the best decision you could with the information you had at the time. Second: lots and lots and lots of people have made financial mistakes, and they have recovered from them. You will too. I paid off $50K of credit card debt in my late twenties – boy, getting into that hole was so dumb, and I still think about what all of that cash could have done for my life if I hadn’t owed it to Chase … but anyway. You live, and you learn. Big hugs to you.
Anonymous
I commented on that thread also but neglected to offer my horror along with you — I’m so, so sorry that happened to you.
cc
Hey – thank you so much. This actually made me tear up with how nice it is. I am feeling so down and some of the comments (some well meaning that didn’t read or I didn’t explain well enough, some kinda mean) made me feel worse. It’s hard to explain this to people in real life because they immediately start saying oh there must be something you can do. But there’s no way out but through and I will be ok but am just gutted.
I really appreciate this pep talk – it meant a lot to me.
Anon
I also just read your post. I am so sorry. I would be absolutely furious and crushed, too. The advice about getting a different job in 2008 or a higher paying job now or wondering about your debt load are clueless to the experience of so, so many students. Also, you didn’t make a mistake or do anything wrong. You made prudent decisions with the information and options you had available at the time. And PSLF has been a poorly administered program since its inception.
cc
Thank you – I appreciate the note. It’s one of those things where I know it’s ok to feel furious and crushed but I also just need to like never think about it again or I’ll drive myself crazy. I spent some time doing some research and it’s pretty clear there is no recourse for me so I just need to move on. But it helps getting this empathy , validating my hurt, and the pep talk too
Anon
I hurt my foot running a week ago and it’s not getting better so I think I might want to go to a doctor soon if it stays this way. Would you go to a PCP first for something like this or try to go straight to a more specialized practice? I’m worried I’ll go to a PCP and they’ll just refer me elsewhere and I’ll have to pay $200 just to be told to go elsewhere.
Anon
My PCP’s office has a sports medicine practitioner in the group and I would schedule directly with that person for this scenario.
anon
My PCP’s office has a sports medicine practitioner in the group and I would schedule directly with that person for this scenario.
Anon
Mine was a break. You can start with a podiatrist rather than PCP. They don’t usually require a referral.
Anon
If the pain is foot, not ankle, I would go straight to a specialist.
Anon
Veteran sports mom here. I would definitely go to a sports med doctor first.
emeralds
Don’t bother with a PCP for this.
Anon
Thanks, everyone! This feels like the kind of thing one *should* know at 36 years old, yet here I am. I appreciate the advice!
Runcible Spoon
A contrarian comment — you get in to see your PCP on an urgent basis, and get a referral for imaging, whether X-ray or MRI or whatever; you also get a referral to the orthopedic specialist. Get your scan in advance of the orthopedic appointment, and have the imaging lab send them to both your PCP and the orthopedic specialist. That way your medical record kept by your PCP is complete and accurate. If you can’t wait for all that, go to the emergency room. I hope the foot feels better soon!
Anonymous
Do you have any concrete examples of her behaviour? Otherwise if you bring this to your boss it will make it look like you don’t play well with others.