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Coffee Break: Quene Pump

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Chie Mihara Women's Quene PumpWhat an unusual shoe! Gray suede is a great basic, but as always it's the little details that I love the most — the leather dots sewn onto the toe area, the slight sparkle to the trim, and the nice pattern on the leather footbed (which looks pretty comfortable, actually). It's part of Amazon's Designer Shoes & Handbags Sale going on right now — was $380, now marked to $169.09. Chie Mihara Women's Quene Pump (L-3) Psst: Check out the (new and updated) Corporette Guide to Comfortable Heels!

Sales of note for 1/22/25:

  • Nordstrom – Cashmere on sale; AllSaints, Free People, Nike, Tory Burch, and Vince up to 60%; beauty deals up to 25% off
  • AllSaints – Clearance event, now up to 70% off (some of the best leather jackets!)
  • Ann Taylor – All sale dresses $40 (ends 1/23)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything
  • Boden – Clearance, up to 60% off!
  • DeMellier – Final reductions now on, free shipping and returns — includes select options like Montreal, Vancouver, and Venice
  • Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; extra 50% off all clearance, plus ELOQUII X kate spade new york collab just dropped
  • Everlane – Sale of the year, up to 70% off; new markdowns just added
  • J.Crew – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 50% off cashmere
  • J.Crew Factory – End of season sale, extra 60-70% off clearance, online only
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale – extra 50% off

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

180 Comments

  1. Is anyone familiar with the maker of this shoe? I have never heard of Chie Mihara.

    3. I covet Chie Mihara’s shoes and buy them whenever I find a cute pair on fire sale. Chie spent time learning how to make comfortable shoes. I have about four pairs and love them all.

      1. If you like the looks of Chie Mihara, also check out Marchez Vous by Lisa Simpson, aka Yeardley Smith.

  2. I like this shoe – its weird but…I kind of like it. I hope people are familiar with the maker.

    So, I’m on my way to a “final” interview for a job I’m really not sure I want (long story). Which means I’m going to be a bit tough. So I’m wearing a black pants suit, a black and white silk shell (subtle print in a polka dot), black heels, black necklace, gray earrings – I’m so ready to do battle might as well have a sword.

    Haha – of course they may just be like…we were just kidding – we don’t really want you. But at least I look good.

    6. Really – how could they not want you! They would be lucky to have you TCFKAG.

  3. A little distraction for Thursday afternoon (fill in the blanks):

    If my [current age] self could tell my younger self ONE thing about love/relationships, it would be ________________.

    If my [current age] self could tell my younger self ONE thing about work/career path OR personal finances, it would be _________________.

    1. If my 48 yr old self could tell my younger self one thing about love/relationships, it would be don’t get married to the wrong person just because you’re ready to married.

      Personal finances – never marry anyone who is not stable financially.

    2. Re: Love/relationships. DO NOT SETTLE. One way to make sure that doesn’t happen – if you are considering moving in with someone, and in your deepest brain/heart you know that there are issues in the relationship that you’re not sure can ever be fixed, DO NOT DO IT. Because once you move in together, it’s a million times harder to leave.

      Given that I did a post-grad degree in Education, taught for 6 years, and then went to law school, I don’t know that I’m the best person to offer career planning advice. But how about this: if you don’t *love* your work at least some of the time, try to have a job that you can at least leave behind mentally/emotionally at the end of the day. Because if you’re emotionally invested in your work, it takes a lot out of you, and you need that balance to keep you from burning out.

      1. This. On a similar note, I would tell myself that if you think it’s hard to break up with somebody when you are living together, try breaking up when you are married, have kids and own a house together. Do not settle. If you have reservations about the relationship, listen to your heart. Sometimes love is not enough to make a relationship work.

        Finances. Hmm. Still learning. I’d say think long and hard about impulse purchases that bring you temporary joy – try to keep long-term financial goals in mind. Still working on this one.

        1. Thank you Jo March and anon for saying the part about listening to your heart and head. So that the things I’m wondering that I try to explain away for think “I shouldn’t really think that or worry about that” – maybe I *should*. Boy, do I need to hear your message right now.

          And this is a random related question…if the person is a right person for you, there are no doubts?

          1. I’ll tell you – I was in a 15 year relationship that made me really unhappy for the last 7 years or so, and was “OK” before that. I always had doubts.

            And when I met Professor Bhaer, I knew right away there was something special about him right away (though neither of us were free at that time). Even though I normally was quite comfortable around guys, with him I was always all goofy and nervous and pawing the ground like I was in some hokey comic book.

            Once we got to know each other better, and were in a position that we could be together, I would say there were no doubts. That doesn’t mean everything is perfect all the time, but I have *NO DOUBT* that he is someone I want to spend the rest of my life with and that we will make each other happy and that, well, we just FIT. We want the same things out of life, in both the big and small ways. We are a team.

            It’s funny, because I didn’t (don’t?) believe in “soul-mates” – what if yours lives in Mongolia? OH NOES – but I now definitely believe that you will KNOW when you are with someone who is right for you.

          2. I think you have to find the right person at the right time. It’s a two part equation. My doubts were related to me, am I ready to take this step? They were not related to him. I knew DH would be a good partner and parent and he would genuinely make me happy (so far he’s proven to be even better than imagined). Sometimes being nervous is just a way of appreciating the gravity of the situation. So I would say you shouldn’t have doubts about the other person, but it is perfectly normal to be a bit nervous about the unknown.

      2. I think about this “settling” piece a lot right now. I’m in a loving, supportive relationship with a smart, handsome, interesting guy. We have been together for a few years (although we are young) and there is nothing “wrong” with us or him. But often I find myself wondering if it could be better. If I’m supposed to feel crazy, madly, I’d die for you love, and I just don’t, or if that doesn’t exist (at least for me). These “who will be my life partner” decisions are hard…

        1. I don’t know that you have to feel like you’d die for your love, but you definitely should feel like you look forward to the next 50 years with the person…

    3. Ooh fun! Certainly I have WAY more than just one thing!

      If my 31-year-old self could tell my younger self ONE thing about love/relationships, it would be that if he is not that into you, he’s not that into you – don’t chase if he isn’t as interested in you as you are in him. I am pleased to know I learned this lesson with my last boyfriend at age 27.

      If my [current age] self could tell my younger self ONE thing about work/career path OR personal finances, it would be live frugally when you are a student so you don’t have to live frugally when you are starting out at work and have to pay back all the loans.

      1. Totally agree with your second paragraph — all the more because I am just starting out after being in school for a long time.

    4. Love/relationships: pay attention to whether his actions match his smooth-talking words; if they don’t, then JSFAMO / GTFO.

      $$: Don’t sign up for Gilt, missy!

    5. I would tell my younger self to quit freaking out about BF (now DH) proposing. He did it in his own time and we’re really happy and it makes no difference how long we dated.

      My personal finance advice would be not to buy things to make yourself happy because that money could go towards something with more longevity than that cute top you wore twice.

    6. About love/relationships: Don’t be so scared – have fun and worry less.

      About work/career/$: Don’t be so scared – you are more capable then you think.

    7. 1. Break up with him! You’re wasting your time.

      2. Don’t bother saving every penny before lawschool. Its just a drop in the bucket in the end.

    8. If my 32 year old self could tell my younger self ONE thing about love/relationships, it would be: have more fun and don’t get so serious so quickly with guys.

      If my 32 year old self could tell my younger self ONE thing about work/career path OR personal finances, it would be: don’t be swayed by your parents fear-mongering about what you’re going to do with your life and figure out what YOU want to do with your life.

    9. 1. Do what you need to do to get help for depression.

      2. Believe in yourself! For help in that area, see #1.

      1. My #1 is exactly the same as yours! Oh, how I wish I’d dealt with it sooner. It’s caused SO many problems. I’m hopeful that things will work out in the end and be better than they were before, but I still have so much regret that I didn’t fix this stuff two years ago.

        2. Realize that since you liked statistics in school so much, you should try to get a job in it, instead of applying for jobs in other fields you’re not really qualified for. Also, quit being such an idiot about applying for jobs–apply for more, be smarter about which ones you apply for so you don’t wast your time, and quit waiting for something to happen to you. When you do that, what happens isn’t necessarily good!

    11. 1) Getting along with your SO should be easy pretty much all of the time. The rest of the world will bring you plenty of drama, so when you get home you want someone who is part of the solution rather than part of the problem.
      2) You’re out to prove yourself by being tough and independent, but for you the real test of adulthood will be admitting when you’re vulnerable and need help.

    12. 1) Telling yourself that if your relationship doesn’t work you will die alone is melodramatic and unrealistic. Set yourself free.

      2) The people-oriented side of you that people see as a liability at a junior level will be a huge asset at a senior level, and it’s possible your current managers react badly to it because they don’t have it themselves.

      3) Wear more sunscreen.

    13. If my 28 year old self could tell my younger self something about dating it would be to never accept someone’s treatment of you just because you love them. Love is never a good enough reason to stay with someone who doesn’t respect you and treat you well.

      If I could tell myself one thing about finances it would be to be content with what I have, and to save more and stop shopping to fill emotional voids. I’m still trying to learn this.

    14. Current age self (39) to younger on love–don’t focus on fixing people. Being around other happy, stable people makes life so much easier. Not being their mom or therapist or doormat all the time doesn’t make you a bad person. It really is OK to walk away from crazy.

      Finance–seek bigger companies if you can. The benefits packages and opportunities for salary growth tend to be much better. And avoid family-run businesses like the plague.

    15. If my [current age] self could tell my younger self ONE thing about work/career path OR personal finances, it would be if you use a standing desk, you’re 99% less likely to spill your lunch all over your d __n lap.

      1. I love this – especially considering I’ve spilled three different beverages in the last two weeks!

    16. 1. Dump that guy who is ____ (not that into you, tone deaf, who you are just not attracted to). Breaking up with him does not mean you will be alone forever!
      1a. Ask that guy out. Note: I still have what-ifs from not doing this, and one what-if that was nicely tied up BECAUSE I did this once.

      2. Work/career – no idea. Honestly none. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up!!!

      1. to #1a – You should always ask the guy out, what is the worst he could say? No? That really isn’t that bad in the grand scheme of things.

    17. 2. Learn everything there is to know about credit BEFORE getting a credit card.

    18. If my 29 self could tell my younger self ONE thing about love/relationships, it would be: you have plenty of time–25 is not old.

      If my 29 self could tell my younger self ONE thing about work/career path it would be: start networking now–create as many contacts as you can.

    19. If my [30s] self could tell my younger self ONE thing about love/relationships, it would be don’t resign yourself to being unhappy and alone. Just because your parents’ relationship is a disaster doesn’t mean that all relationships look like that. You have the right to seek happiness – it’s not supposed to be this way. You’re depressed. Go get help.

      If my [30s] self could tell my younger self ONE thing about work/career path OR personal finances, it would be to not focus so much on being serious. Don’t forget to enjoy life. Having fun occasionally is not going to doom you to a bad GPA, a bad career, or a bad life. Instead of scrimping on everything, spend some money to take better physical and mental care of yourself.

        1. Haha, this. I was laid off briefly in 2008 and sold some stocks during my period of unemployment. I was lucky and found a new job that I love (and am still in), and I probably never would have ended up here but-for the layoff, but I really do miss those shares (purchased at $80…).

    20. 1) I’d tell my 21-year-old self that you didn’t find just a good guy, you found a great guy. Marrying young will be the beginning of a grand adventure together, not the end of your strong, independent self.

      2) I’d also tell my 21-year-old self to not freak out about her career path so much. You WILL change your mind about what you thought you wanted, and that’s OK. Things have a way of working out.

    21. What a fun idea!

      If my 27 self could tell my younger self ONE thing about love/relationships, it would be if a relationship ends, don’t drag it out. Don’t try to win it back. (I now realize, it’s actually JSFAMO!)

      If my 27 self could tell my younger self ONE thing about work/career path, don’t let personal drama distract you during law school. Put yourself first, because the people causing you stress obviously don’t love you.

    22. Advice from my 54 year old self to my younger self:

      Love/relationships: Agree with Monday. Relationships should be easy. If a relationship is consistently hard, it’s not the right one. And also? You are awesome the way you are.

      Money: Step away from the credit cards.

    24. If my early 3os self could tell my younger self ONE thing about love/relationships, it would be get married before going to law school or don’t go to law school. Men don’t want to date lawyers.

      If my early 30s self could tell my younger self ONE thing about work/career path OR personal finances, it would be change your major to another type of engineering and don’t go into debt for law school. Stay in the midwest.

      1. Can I ask why you would tell yourself to stay in the midwest? I grew up in and currently live in the midwest and love many things about it, but I am dissatisfied with aspects of it, too, and am thinking about searching for jobs elsewhere. I would be really interested to hear why you feel the way you do.

        1. Life is much easier when you have an established support network of friends and family nearby. I feel like moving away has constantly forced me to keep forming new relationships. It’s fun but exhausting.

      2. Well, that dating advice is encouraging for someone who started law school at 21, finished at 24 and is still unmarried…

        2. Anecdotally, the female, married attorneys I know all were at least dating their husband during law school. Some met someone after law school, got married, and then had a nasty divorce less than 5 years later (or would get a divorce if not for immigration issues). Depressing, right?

        3. I started law school at 21, finished at 24, and am happily married. We met the summer before my third year, got engaged in February of my third year, and got married in April during my first year out. Celebrating our eighth this year. Although that advice may be true for her, it’s not true for everyone.

      3. I actually started dating my now-dh after law school, at age 26. Of course, he is a lawyer, too.

      4. Mmmm yeah, you mean certain men don’t want to date lawyers. Conveniently enough, those are the men you wouldn’t want to date anyway. I actually found dating much easier as a lawyer. Your career does a lot of filtering for you (i.e., the men that are interested are men who enjoy intelligent, ambitious women).

    25. If my 35-year-old self could tell my younger self ONE thing about love/relationships, it would be to marry for money.

      If my 35-year-old self could tell my younger self ONE thing about work/career path OR personal finances, it would be not to go to law school.

      1. I am young and my SO of more than 2 years is still in school. I often go back and forth about his earning potential. While I hate this about myself some days, I do not think I will be happy if he is struggling through careers, or if I am always having to be the breadwinner.

        Disclaimer- I don’t mind the idea of making more money, if he makes a comparable amount or a good amount. It stems from being afraid of the pressure of my income being the only/main income

        1. That’s exactly the thing that I hate — the feeling that I CANNOT quit my job or take something less well-compensated because if I did, we would be starving on the streets. I don’t think you actually have to marry for money – but I would tell you not to marry someone who is affirmatively disinterested in making money, or whose passion projects (like graduate school or being an artist or whatever) will always be more important to him than your happiness at work.

          And while for others it may be very different, I really struggled with the fact that when I had kids, I had to still just keep getting up and going to work when I desperately wanted to stay home with them.

      2. I am the main breadwinner in the house but have absolutely no problem with that. He’s the main caregiver and cooks every night. I really like my job. Even if I were in a job I hated we would figure it out. I would never trade him for someone who earns more.

    26. 1) If you’re not that into him in the beginning, its not going to get better. JSFAMO early, don’t talk yourself into trying to make it work, even if he is a “nice guy”. Dating someone because you don’t want to hurt his feelings by saying no just means more hurt feelings later.

      2) There is no shame in using contacts/networking to help you get an interview, or even an entry level job. Don’t have a chip on your shoulder that you “don’t want any favors, should be hired on your strengths, not who you know”. Once you get the interview or job you will have plenty of time to prove how awesome you are. One of the reasons to go to a top rated expensive university is to make useful connections, not USE those connections.

      1. Yes yes yes to #1. It is so much better to say “Dude, you are a really nice guy, you just aren’t the nice guy for me.”

    27. Depends on how much younger. I’d love to tell my preteen self that figuring out how to do romance & family could actually help my career one day.

      On finances, I’d like to tell my 3.5 yrs ago self not to count chickens before they’re hatched, no matter who the promises are from.

    28. THIS IS ALOT OF FUN! YAY! This is what I would say:

      A little distraction for Thursday afternoon (fill in the blanks):

      If my current age self could tell my younger self ONE thing about love/relationships, it would be NEVER GET INVOLVED WITH AN ALCHOHOLHOLIC B/C THEY WILL BURP AND WALK AWAY AFTER VOMITTING ON MY NEW RUG’S! FOOEY ON ALAN SHEKETOVITS AND ALL OTHER DRUNK’S!

      If my [current age] self could tell my younger self ONE thing about work/career path OR personal finances, it would be ALWAY’S CONSULT WITH MY DAD (WHO IS VERY SMART) ABOUT FINANCES AND HAVE HIM HELP ME TO PAY MY BILLS AND SET UP MY 401K ACCOUNT’S AND ALSO HELP WITH MY CO-OP MORGAGE AND MAINTENANCE, BUT DO NOT LET HIM KEEP YOU ON A BUDGET OR TELL YOU THAT YOU CANNOT HAVE SPENT TO MUCH MONEY. FOOEY ON THAT! IN FACT, DOUBEL FOOEY! I MADE THAT MISTAKE AND CANT BACK OUT OF IT EVEN THO I AM EARNING GOOD MONEY HE IS CONTROLLING EVERYTHING! FOOEY!

    29. If my 28 year-old self could tell my younger self ONE thing about love/relationships, it would be to worry less and enjoy your relationship for what is. Life will only speed up from here, and it’s worth savoring every sweet moment with the one you love.

      If my 28 year-old self could tell my younger self ONE thing about work/career path OR personal finances, it would be to have confidence and go after what you want. Believe what you see, not what you hear, when it comes to workplace dynamics. Learn to let go of daily frustrations. You’ve got a life to live, not just a job to do.

    30. Wonderful thread, will read all comments on my commute home.

      1) On Love/relationships – My 28 year old self will tell younger me –
      do not be afraid to break up if you know in your guts the relationship is not going to work. It will be lot more difficult when he does the eventual breakup out of the blue moon. Take control of where you want the relationship to go, make tough decision if needed and don’t just keep waiting and hoping.

      Never ever ignore or turn a blind eye to how he treats other women besides you and what he thinks/speaks about women in general. One day when he is over you, that is exactly how he would treat you or think of you.

      2) Career – be assertive, believe you absolutely know your own project/work way better than most, don’t let others make you doubt your abilities.

    31. If my 31 self could tell my younger self ONE thing about love/relationships, it would be no, you really should focus on finding a partner while you’re in your 20s, because contrary to what popular culture tries to tell you , you *don’t* have all the time in the world. You shouldn’t be a homebody and focus on school and work while all your peers are settling into long-term relationships and marriages. Because when you’re in your 30s, you’ll find that all the guys who are still single are single for a reason, and all the faithful, family-oriented, stable guys will have been off the market for years.

      If my 31 self could tell my younger self ONE thing about work/career path OR personal finances, it would be not to worry about being loyal to a single employer. If you try to work your way up through the organization that gave you your first job, you’ll find yourself ten years into a slow-roll career, while the most successful people around you are the ones who hopped from job to job, gaining broader experiences and increasing their salaries with each move.

      Basically, my younger self needs to know that the she needs to stop being a loser, because it only gets worse.

    32. If my 32 year old self could tell my younger self something about love/relationships it would be: stop using sex as a bandaid and a cop out, you will find a boy that loves you even if you don’t sleep with him on the first “date.” And get therapy now to figure out why you won’t make yourself vulnerable.

      On money/work/career path: don’t go to law school.

    33. I just wanted to say thank you so much for posting this question and to everyone who’s responding… I lurk this site HARD CORE because of the wonderful advice and thought-provoking discussions that you ladies have. I feel like I learn a lot. *retreats into the background with popcorn to take notes* :)

  4. Self-congratulatory TJ:

    I just had a conversation with my second-from-the-top boss wherein she asked me to take part in training for a specific project that is going on in our department, because she thinks I am a good fit for it and it’s clearly something I care about. Then we talked about privilege and how important it is to have Crowns who understand what it’s like to, say, ride the bus, or live in an urban food desert.

    I already knew this boss was awesome, but it makes me feel really great that a) the powers that be are aware and supportive of my interests in social justice/restorative and alternative justice, and b) are willing to train me so that I can be doing my work in a way that is mututally beneficial for my career, my personal satisfaction, and the office as a whole.

    Woot! Exciting!

    2. Not only is this awesome in its own right, it’s even better that you’re recognized for this with so much else going on in your life that could (rightfully and easily) take away from your work. Congrats!!

    3. Congratulations. That is awesome. If you don’t mind, I’d like to ask you a quick question.

      I’m on a board of directors that oversees an organization that provides medical services for uninsured children. I live in a non-racially diverse state but there is significant wealth diversity here. IE – same city has very rich people and very poor people. Additionally, the city the organization serves, unlike the rest of the state, is extremely racially diverse with a huge immigrant and non-english speaking population. The majority of the people served by this organization are poor minorities, many of whom do not speak English.

      Our entire board is made up of white-collar Caucasian people. The majority of the staff and I believe 100% of the advanced degree staff are Caucasian.

      I am looking for some resources on privilege (both wealth and race) to better understand and recognize the issue. I’m also considering discussing with the board and some point if those making decisions on behalf of the organization are really able to relate to the population we serve and if there is more we can do to make sure we aren’t missing obvious things due to our privilege. I’d also like to suggest we make the staff and board more diverse both in terms of professional experience, race and wealth. At the same time, I’m concerned that someone could be “tokenized” if the board actively looked for someone that met that criteria. How do we straddle the line between realizing we need to be more diverse and acting that out without insulting anyone.

      So many thoughts . . . . so little space. It just really bothers me that there is such a dichotomy between the board and those served. I have no idea if anyone else has ever brought this up because I’ve been on the board under 2 years.

      1. I’d recommend that you focus on a broad definition of diversity (not merely protected categories, such as age, sex, etc.) but also diversity of perspectives and experiences, geographic diversity, etc.. Multiple studies have shown that having this broad type of diversity ensures that all ideas are on the table – and that organizations that embrace them are more successful. Check out DiversityInc.’s website. They have lots of free resources.

      2. This doesn’t address privileged exactly, but I’m currently teaching a senior seminar for Human Services students and we’re using a book called Promoting Community Change. It’s got a lot of great thinking points regarding activism within a community, most notably centering around the differences between providing something to a community vs. working with existing community leaders to create change. It might be a worthwhile read.

      3. Quick reply (will try to come up with something better later):

        For resources on Privilege, google “Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack”. Lists of all the different ways that privilege works in people’s lives, and all the unconscious elements of privilege. It exists re: race, gender, sexuality, etcetcetc. So illuminating.

        In terms of recruiting more diverse members, universities are often a great place to start. Dedicated students, groups like, say, the South-Asian Students Assocation (that’s made up, just for example) may be a great place to recruit some more diverse people.

        1. In addition, universities may have classes related to these topics, and a syllabus or reading list from some professors could help.

      4. Kudos to you for trying to address your concerns about this.

        Re: the “token” issue, I’ve read about how the token effect fades among women serving on boards if you have more than 2 women on the board. From what you describe, it seems like finding enough minority board members to ameliorate the token effect would be a challenge, but it’s something to consider.

  5. Has anyone taken anti-depressants to treat irritable bowel syndrome? Would love to hear experiences, particularly in regard to success/failure and side effects.

    1. I have Crohns, not IBS but I went through a phase where I had really bad pain from it but was in a line of work where I couldn’t be on narcotic pain killers. My doc showed me a study about SSRI’s working in the non-depressed to block pain receptors. I may have the science behind this totally wrong but I think it was something like if you have normal serotonin levels and take SSRI’s the result is that your levels end up masking pain. If you are already depressed from abnormal serotonin levels then it might not have the same effect. I tried it w/ low dose prozac. Don’t know if it was the SSRI or the placebo effect but I felt significantly less pain for almost two months. Then it stopped working. By then I was starting to get better though so my pain was going away anyway.

    2. Yes. I’ve been taking a low dose antidepressant to treat IBS for years. (What ultimately helped more than anything else was dramatically changing my diet, but I’m still on the meds because diet didn’t fix me 100%.)

      The only negative side-effects I’ve noticed are (1) it makes me incredibly sleepy (or at least it did at first), so even though I take it at night, I wake up groggy and (2) dry mouth. Both of these have subsided over time.

      Positive side-effects: it makes me sleepy (which is great because I’m a troubled sleeper, especially when my intestines act up).

      Also worth mentioning: I’ve had to increase my dosage over time because I’ve built up a tolerance to it. My doctors assure me this is fine & safe.

      1. Diet already in effect and has been for a couple of years. HUGE difference, but attacks still happen seeming randomly even with perfect adherence.

        Also a low-energy but poor sleeper (better with recent oxygen mask at night), so the drowsiness would be a pro/con too.

  6. I think these are the boots that were worn with a trench coat Kat featured a while back. There was a discussion about what brand they were at the time. And, lo and behold, they are on sale! I really want them but am trying to resist since I live in Texas and winter is already over.

    http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/cole-haan-poppy-boot-nordstrom-exclusive/3287023?origin=category&=&cm_ven=Linkshare&cm_cat=partner&cm_pla=10&cm_ite=1&siteId=BolFSqx4S4U-9OHMnWHQfioS4EKi1w1Nzw&pprd=0

    1. I love them but I have decided that I am done with heels. Honestly, life is too short for uncomfortable shoes and underwear. Nothing is a quicker road to a long day at work.

      1. This is a very funny comment (funny ’cause it’s true!) and those boots are GORGEOUS.

    2. I loved looking at them, but they were not as fitted around the calf as I wanted them to be. Which made ME sad, but my wallet happy. I really, really wanted to love them.

    3. I own these! I LOVE them and always get positive comments when I wear them (which isn’t frequently enough).

      1. Oh, and I should also note that they’re super comfortable. They’re the “real” Nike Air (gold emblem on sole) so they feel like wearing sneakers even though they’re heels.

        Also, they’re always on sale. Consider full price to be $299, so these are a good deal.

  7. I am shocked no one has commented on the NYT article on the drop in law school applications.

    According to the article, there are 30,000 applications for law school terms starting fall 2013 down from 100,000 applications in 2004. The article says that this is because young people are “voting with their feet” and no longer see law school as a good investment.

    Thoughts?

    1. I think that is fantastic news. Too many people went (or go) to law school, take on enormous debt, and then don’t have jobs that pay the debt.

      Prior to 2008 a JD from a decent school could get you a good job. It just isn’t the same anymore. The big firm jobs are really only open to people who went to 1st tier schools.

    2. I will be very curious to see how law schools react to this. I think schools will either need to cut class sizes or let their medians drop, or both, and I am interested to see what they choose to do.

      On a more personal note, I got into my dream school earlier this week (hooray!), which I am pretty sure would not have happened without the significant drop in applications.

    3. I think the news that the legal market is struggling has trickled down to potential applicants. It took a few years, of course.

    4. I think that is good news as well. The article is right – for many, many people (though of course, not all) law school IS a bad investment. I’m not a lawyer, but I’ve gleaned from reading this blog that

      1) Legal work is scarce unless you’re in the tippy top (and sometimes even then);
      2) Unless you’re in Big Law, you don’t make enough to really justify paying well into the six figures for law school; and
      3) If you decide screw it and decide to find non-legal work, your law degree can actually be limiting

      So I think it makes sense for fewer people to be applying to law schools.

    5. I took part in a mentoring event a couple of nights ago and couldn’t believe the number of students from the three least well regarded law schools in Boston who still thought they were going to get a job in biglaw. It’s like they haven’t been reading the newspaper. I felt bad for one girl in particular who moved across the country and sounded like she was taking on a lot of debt to be at one. These are not schools that give you access to a law-related job (maybe unless you are in the top five people in the class) and I don’t think they have any traction at all outside of Boston. I felt like the right advice to give was really “drop out or transfer to a better school”, but the environment wasn’t right for that.

      1. That’s scary. I finished upper quarter in T-20 (15?) in 2011 and I think about a third-40% of my friends who wanted BigLaw jobs got them.

        1. Question, Cornellian: You mentioned the other day that you have 100-billable-hour weeks. Is that really true, or were you exaggerating for effect? That just seems nuts!! I’m in big law and usually bill about 45 hours a week. Sometimes I feel like a slacker.

          1. I don’t routinely bill 100 hours, or even 60. There are some weeks in the summer I bill 20 or 3o. I’m not sure I billed 80 until the last few months. But I literally billed 2 100+ hour weeks this year. I think this may be a hazard of a smaller group (~15 attorneys), that if none of the 4 big client-facing partners have work, no one has work, and if all 4 of them do, we have more work than we know what to do with.

        2. I have only ever billed 100 hours a week while on trial. I typically bill about 60.

      2. The only problem with dropping out is that there’s no salary bump for having 1/3 or 2/3 of a JD. Once you’re in, I think the best you can do is finish. Although I recognize that others disagree. But once I had one year’s worth of debt, I was stuck.

        Personally, I agree that the drop is a good thing. I taught at a top-tier law school at a flagship state university. Enough of our students already struggled to find jobs. I can’t imagine what became of the students at the other three law schools in the state. Too many people have made an expensive investment as a sort of default choice, and now they’re stuck.

        Full disclosure, I did go to law school because I didn’t know what else to do with my life (and my liberal arts degree). I just got very lucky in terms of where I was accepted and the jobs I found afterwards. I love being a lawyer, and I’m going to be able to pay off my debt within the first 6-7 years after graduation. But I’m definitely the exception, not the rule.

      3. I tried to dissuade one from going but she would.not.listen. but the thing is, you never know what is going to happen over the course of a lifetime…

      4. I get both sides of the dropout argument. In hindsight, sure, the kids who can’t get law jobs would’ve been better off cutting their losses after their first year. Having $50k in debt and no law job is better than $150k and no law job.

        But it’s not realistic to expect anyone to sign up for $50k of debt and have nothing to show for it (assuming they’re not in the bottom of their first year class, which is a different issue). Most people DO feel stuck, and for good reason, because there’s just no way for them to know that they’re not going to get a law job in two years. I’ve seen plenty of law review kids not get jobs and plenty of bottom third kids get really decent jobs. So much of it is just luck. Hopefully with fewer people going to law school there will be more jobs available, though.

      5. You must be talking about my (crappy) school. Some people here do seem to be deluded. There are many of us in the patent law field who are in a different boat (and whose firms are paying in full) but I wonder about the rest.

    6. I think it’s absolutely a good thing. I graduated last year from a T10 school. I was incredibly fortunate to end up in the top 10% of the class and was able to get a clerkship and a big law job, but I am absolutely in the minority amongst my peers. I’ve tried to convince several friends not to go to law school, but I always feel like I’m coming across as condescending since I’ve been fortunate to come into a good situation. I always feel like it comes off sounding like “Well I was smart and awesome enough to do well, but you won’t be, so don’t go,” which is not AT ALL how I mean it, but it’s pretty hard to explain. I worked hard to get into a good law school and once I was there to get my grades, but let’s face it, a lot of it is pure dumb luck and no one, no matter how smart and talented they are, can be guaranteed to end up in the top 5/10/whatever percent of the class. I can’t say that I regret going since I ended up in a good place (at least so far), but in retrospect, I basically went in totally blind and could have ended up jobless with $150k in debt if my 1L grades had gone slightly differently.

      1. I completely agree with you, as someone who went to a T10 and ended up on the opposite end of the job continuum. I guess I still don’t regret going, but I wish the market would get better already!

  10. On a similar note to the above TJ, I’ve been asked to advise a college age girl on getting involved at school/getting direction.

    If you could go back in time and go to college (undergrad) again, what would you do differently? What would you do the same? What groups do you wish you had gotten involved with? What groups do you wish you had avoided?

    1. You’re really nice to do this!

      Things I would do the same/tell someone to do:

      – Get and stay involved. Don’t be one of those people that just goes to class. Find passions. If there is something you want to do, but it’s not offered – hey, you could be the one that organizes that!

      – Make sure you work regularly – working an on campus job (or something with a similar defined time commitment) and balancing school will give you great time management skills.

      – On that note, make sure to get internships in fields you might think you want to get into. I did and that helped me hone in pretty well on what I enjoyed/didn’t enjoy about the working world.

      Things I would do differently/tell someone to be aware of:

      – I should have put more effort into schoolwork in my first semester of freshman year. That one semester pulled down my GPA significantly and I’m still somewhat annoyed with myself when I think about it.

      – Sometimes I think I should have studied abroad but I go back and forth on that.

      – Made sure to get out of the “bubble” of college on a regular basis and remember there’s a whole world out there. Pick up a newspaper. Etc. I got so wrapped up in college life that I think everything else happening in the world fell by the wayside.

    2. My advice:

      -Study abroad. It teaches you to be truly independent and think on your feet. It also gets you out of the bubble of your college friends. Do this in a place that speaks a different language if possible because it will put you out of your comfort zone (which is a good thing!)

      -Get involved in SOME sort of club or activity. People that don’t are really missing out on the social aspect/leadership possibilities. Whether is a dance club, religious organization, or something for your major it’s good for you and usually requires a minimal time commitment in the overall sense.

      -Talk to your professors and grad students!! Go to office hours, even if you don’t really need help on an assignment. They can not only provide letters of recommendation, but provide great life/career perspective. One meeting with a PhD student who said it can take up to 9 years to get a PhD in history totally changed my life goals!

      -Work out/exercise as much as possible. You will never have this much time again to do it (unless you become unemployed)

      -Always be open to inspiration/career direction. I had a liberal arts major, but one class trip to the rare books room for a french class gave me a lightbulb moment of what I wanted to do with my life: librarian. Now I’m a happy librarian!

      1. Definitely study abroad! You’ll never have another chance to do it. And honestly, I would recommend not using your summers doing kinda worthless internships and taking summer classes. I thought I had to have interned with a judge to go to law school, it would help my resume, etc., and it really didn’t.

        This is the last time of your life you get to spend summers doing cool stuff. Work at a summer camp! Study abroad! Volunteer away from home! Law schools and employers are impressed by that stuff, and more importantly, it’s good for you.

    3. Sorority life: Others may vehemently disagree, but being in a sorority was a great experience. There is more to greek life than cattiness and mixers. Some of those ladies are my dearest friends to this day despite living all over the country and I learned a lot about leadership, event-planning, and useful people skills.
      At the same time, get out of the college town bubble. Explore the area around you, study abroad, take a weekend trip. The same party will be there next weekend.

      1. I had a great college experience, but by my senior year I wish I had joined a sorority. A lot of people from my work have also gotten jobs/contacts through their sorority sisters. I think it’s just about joining the correct, respectful, sorority with women who want to be successful.

      2. mascot, I agree. Sorority life was a mixed bag for me in college–while I had a decent time, there was a lot of partying among my new member class (and I was more focused on schoolwork). However, our group was overall very grade- and activity-focused. I learned a lot about working together, getting along with women who are VERY different from you and event planning. I’ve been very involved as a young alumna, taking on some roles including national-level responsibilities. I’d almost say the leadership and networking possibilities as an alum are worth it, even if it was a wash in college.

      3. honestly, this. I didn’t go into college thinking I’d ever join a sorority, and I only rushed on a whim… but over a decade later my sorority sisters are my absolute closest friends. I agree that a lot of this depends on joining a group of women who are interested in supporting one another and being successful, not just finding the cute frat boys :)

      4. Nothing teaches you how to make small talk, or frankly, to interview, than going through and then working at sorority rush. Interviewing 15+ girls in 30 minutes and trying to get a sense of their personality/interests/ability to contribute to your organization is a great skill for the future. And learning to make small talk, and ask meaningful questions, to people extremely different than you, is the most valuable interview skill I gained. And all courtesy of my sorority!

        Plus my sisters are still my best friends 4 years out of undergrad. They’re an awesome network for both my personal life and my career. So, yes to joining a sorority!

      5. Wholeheartedly agree. Nine years after college, my closest friends are still sorority sisters and it taught me so many useful skills.

    4. I’d say get involved with the bigger picture–like kerrycontrary said, get out of the bubble. I was very focused on schoolwork, however, I didn’t do many activities that went beyond the borders of my college. Get involved in some activities or research projects that will pull you out of campus, like honor societies, professors’ research projects, pre-professional groups, etc.

      Also, build up skills that are hard to do on your own. I wish I’d taken more math and statistics. I could’ve learned a lot on my own related to policy, history, etc. but statistics are useful in the “real world” and hard for most people to pick up on their own.

    5. Not taking remedial chem doesn’t mean you’re smart. It means that you won’t be able to keep up in regular chem class, because you never had a chem class in high school and will be one strike against going to med school.

      Don’t be afraid of your gender. If you think the prof who *always* calls on you and makes you stand in front when ever there are demonstrations is making too big a deal of it and embarrassing you, tell her! If the prof directs the entire class of Mosley grad student guys to look at your (junior class) legs, don’t be cowed by him!

  11. PSA: We’re always talking about easy, healthy cheap recipes and I wanted to share one that I’ve recently re-discovered. I broke out my George Foreman from the way back of my cabinets and have been LOVING it. I got organic fresh mozzarella, roasted red peppers, spinach, zucchini and eggplant patties and have been mixing and matching into the most delicious paninis for dinners. They’re so easy, take about 5 minutes to make, and are healthier than whatever take out I usually order from my couch right after work. And it still feels like great winter comfort food. Sometimes I make it with pesto, sometimes with tomato sauce, sometimes with balsamic, and either add or leave out the eggplant patties depending on how hungry I am. Dinners for the past week have probably cost me a grand total of 15$. New dinner staple!

    1. OMG paninis. Buying a panini press was maybe my best kitchen purchase ever.

      Boring turkey and cheese sandwich?
      OR artisan peppered turkey, asiago, spinach thin-slice tomato, olive-oil-brushed panini?

      Mmm, mmm good.

    2. We use our George Foreman constantly! Not so much for sandwiches, but steak, chicken, sausage, pork chops, bacon, you name it. We probably use it at least 4 days a week and it’s great.

  12. I posted a few days ago about early pregnancy symptoms, thinking I may be pregnant. Turns out I am. Confirmed by blood test and everything. Ready or not here we go. I have such a mix of emotions right now. On the one hand, SO and I wanted to have kids in the next year or two, so I am very happy and on the other hand, extreme panic.

    Anyway, thank you for the advice of testing early!

    4. Congratulations! And I’m pretty sure extreme panic is normal, even if you are also happy. A baby in the abstract is very different from an actual pregnancy that is happening, RIGHT NOW, so its ok to be a little panic-y. If you are having actual panic attacks, go talk to someone. Just feeling a “OMG what did I get myself into?” panic-y – totally normal.

    5. Congrats and good luck! Even when we were TTC, when I finally did get pregnant my second thought after “Yay!” was “Holy crap, what did I do??”

    6. This is great; congratulations! I’ve never been pregnant, but from what I hear panic is pretty normal.

  13. Anyone have thoughts on working with vendors, outside service providers? I’m personally in litigation and moved into a new position last year that requires me to be in touch with providers about e-discovery, court reporting, translations, etc. I also just went to LegalTech yesterday and was very overwhelmed. Would love to hear general anecdotes, tips, pitfalls about working with existing relationships and also about trying new services/getting proposals/negotiating rates.

    1. Get someone to talk to you in your language. It can be easy to fall into the “smile and nod” trap (I’m thinking mostly e-discovery) when you think “I have no idea what those words mean that are coming out of your mouth right now.” If you have someone in-house who specializes in this (biglaw tends to, but I’m guessing smaller shops not so much), really use their time. I used to let our tech people “do the tech stuff” for me, which resulted in me never really understanding it. I wish instead I’d gotten one of them to sit down for a few hours and walk me through the whole process.

    2. My best advice is to use local businesses rather than national firms who can provide services in your area. At face value, national vendor prices may seem to look better, but they are a nightmare to deal with customer service-wise, are infamous for padding their bills and refusing to provide itemized invoices, don’t care about providing the highest quality services, and are the absolute worst offenders when it comes to knowing and following local rules/statutes for their given industry. And be wary of any vendor that offers gift cards, free depos, or other “gifts” for using them, as they are in violation of many state’s rules but don’t seem to care. That’s a pretty good sign you aren’t dealing with an ethical vendor.

  14. My husband and I are in similar fields. I’m currently in the process of interviewing for a new job. The job is with a very prestigious employer and I’m very excited about it. We had talked in the past about my husband one day working for this employer. Frankly the work the employer does is something that’s interesting to me, but I think would be more interesting to my husband and that his specific talents are better suited to the kind of work this employer does. However, a job came up that was seeking my exact skill set. I hate my current job and this seemed like a great opportunity (the work itself would be interesting, but also working for this employer opens up all kinds of other doors). My husband 100% supports me and has been helping me prepare my application materials and prepare for my interviews. But he also feels kind of sad and, although he doesn’t want to, resentful that I might have this chance. He’s been feeling lately that he might be getting too old and too far along in his career to work at this place, and that he missed his opportunity to go there when he was fresh out of grad school (which is BS, by the way — I’m older and further along in my career than he is). He’s also been feeling stuck in his current job, mostly because he’s in the middle of a project that has taken way longer than anyone thought it would to launch, and has him really just spinning his wheels right now (he gets this intellectually, but it can be demoralizing when you’re in the middle of it). If the project is successful, he’ll be really happy but he’s feeling kind of down right now anyway. What’s the best way for me to approach this, especially if I get the job?

    1. What if you both apply? Might be weird to have two applications with the same address but considering your cell numbers and email addresses will be different I’m not sure anyone would even notice. That way neither of you feels like you are giving up on an opportunity.

      1. He’s not qualified for the job. We’re in the same field but different specialties and the job is in my specialty. Also, it would be extremely bad for his career to quit his current job in the middle of the project he’s working on, so he is kind of stuck.

    2. Stay focused on the long term. This sounds good for you, but also for him as he’d have an in at dream job.

      Sounds like the mood should change once his current work frustrations clear, so just wait it out.

    3. Create a positive mantra – together – that puts this in perspective and reinforces that he’s not stuck – he’s creating another project that will add to his resume and legacy for when he can apply for jobs at X time. He’s running a marathon – he needs to stay strong and well-focused for him, you and the Royal You, as do you. This is not win/lose at all.

      Get that ATTITUDE back.

      Talk and wag more, bark less. :)

    4. First, don’t rub it in his face (but I think you already know that). Also, focus on the aspects of the job that benefit you both. You guys are a team, and him helping you so much already shows that you have that mindset. So, if the job it more money say things like “Now we can do this”. “Team Lastname” is something that’s often heard around our house, regarding anything from helping one of the kids with homework, to getting chores done, to my recent unexpected raise at work. And maybe you working there will be a great way for him to network. It’s really hard when your career is going great & your partner’s career is doing the opposite. Good luck with the opportunity!

      1. Just wanted to second that having you as a connection at the prestigious employer would likely enhance his chances of getting an opportunity there, as long as you don’t do exactly the same job.

  15. Question for those that max out their retirement accounts — what percentage cash do you save from your take-home pay after you max them out? I aim for 20 percent, but it’s usually closer to 15.

    1. I max out my 401k in August or September on purpose (I know, crazy). I have an ambitious after-tax savings goal every year but because so much money was being stashed away, I am usually behind and panic for the last quarter. So if my savings goal is a range from $x (easy to meet/about 15% of take home) to $y (very ambitious/over double) for the year. By September I am usually at about 75% of my low-goal. So I throw the surplus money that was going to the 401k to my savings.

      This sounds more complicated than it is, really. But it works. I usually hit near my high goal.

      1. Not so crazy. I max out my 401(k) really early (this year, probably in March), and I’ve already maxed out my IRA. (I’m in biglaw, I live frugally, and I don’t have a mortgage, students loans, or dependents, so this is doable for me — obviously not for many other readers.) I do this because I want to have completed my contributions before being terminated in a given year (having been laid off in the past, I am always fearful of future layoffs) (since most plans won’t let you contribute to a 401(k) once you are terminated, and I would probably be too nervous about liquidity to contribute to an IRA if I were unemployed).

        Once I’ve done that, I generally keep a minimum balance in my checking account, and then anything above that, I move over to a mutual fund (unless I know a big expense is coming up). So I don’t have a savings “target,” I just save by default.

  16. Just venting–I had such a crap day today. Started off not feeling well, continued not feeling well, got shouted at over the phone at work and although I held my own my tone definitely conveyed the anger and frustration I was feeling, so now I feel guilty as well. I have salvaged today as best I could but MAN do I wish I wasn’t pregnant so I could have a glass of wine.

    1. SAME. I miss wine, but especially on these kind of days. Hang in there. I am thinking of buying a different bottle of wine every week for the rest of this pregnancy so that I can have a fun stockpile to look forward to in six months.

  17. What kind of socks do you guys wear? I have these great maryjane/sneaker things I wear to work… so I don’t want to wear regular socks, but the half socks always seem to pop off my feet & bunch up around my toes… which is very annoying & uncomfortable (target brand). I also don’t like the ones that are made out of nylon material.

  18. I’ve been looking for gray suede heels without luck. I don’t mind the dots on these but don’t like the metallic trim.

    I just had a tooth pulled. I forgot how much dental work hurts after the shot wears off. :-(

    1. Try Geox. They have these amazingly comfortable gray suede booties on sale right now. They are so comfy, I wore them to clean the apartment!

    3. Seriously, why is it so hard to find a pair of grey suede pumps? I’ve been looking all winter, with no success.

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