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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 169 Comments · by

Tuesday’s TPS Report: Ottoman Weave A-Line Skirt

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Classiques Entier Ottoman Weave A-Line SkirtI've said it before, I'll say it again: I'm loving the resurgence of the A-line skirt. I particularly like this navy and black woven skirt from Classiques Entier — it looks like it has a crisper structure than most A-line skirts, and the textured knit and leather zipper details make it even cooler. I'd wear it with most colors, but if you're uncomfortable wearing navy with black I'd stick to creams/grays and jewel tones like purples and green (as for tights; check out our discussion on what color tights to wear with navy skirts). The skirt is $168 at Nordstrom (sizes 0-16). Classiques Entier Ottoman Weave A-Line Skirt Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected]. (L-3)

Sales of note for 8.30.24

  • Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
  • Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
  • Boden – 20% off
  • Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
  • Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
  • Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
  • Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
  • White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale

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Comments

  1. In the Pink

    College Grad Gift Advice?

    She is likely taking either a year to work OR getting an internship prior to grad school.

    I already gave her my go-to gift of a Swiss Army Knife for HS graduation.

    Besides a little poster of the state with her grad date and something like “One Step Closer to My Future” or something like that from etsy…I’m at a loss.

    She’s not frilly, very practical, doesn’t like to have a lot of “stuff.”

    • KC

      Honestly, the best gifts I got were cash and gift cards. I did appreciate the few sentimental gifts from my parents and grandparents, but as I was moving and setting up my first apartment, money was a little tight and having extra cash/Amazon gift cards was really helpful.

    • TBK

      Cash
      Gift certificate to her favorite restaurant
      Gift certificate for some activity she might enjoy (e.g., rock climbing, trapeze school, rafting)
      Something related to her expected grad program — is there anything professionals in that area use that you could get her now?
      Is she moving out of the dorms and into her own apartment? Or leaving behind roommates and might need things they used to all share? A basic tool kit can be useful and something people don’t often think of

    • kjoirishlastname

      Depending on her living situation, my favorite (granted, it was a HS graduation gift) was an embroidered gigantic canvas laundry bag, detergent & rolls of quarters. Obviously more for dorm living, but if she is going to be doing laundry at a laundromat, then it is appropriate.

      I think KC’s idea is great–she would surely appreciate giftcards. Can’t go wrong with Amazon or Target

    • NOLA

      My favorite college graduation gift is a business card case. I think it could work in this situation, too! I get them either from Lodis or Kate Spade sales.

      • Wannabe Runner

        +1. I got one of these for graduation and it was very nice. You could also get her a leather padfolio or nice businesslike bag to take to interviews/internship.

    • rosie

      I would do an Amazon gift card or a diploma frame from her college’s bookstore (if it would be within budget–I am thinking the kind with the college seal).

  2. KC

    I wish there wasn’t also an invisible zipper in the back. I think this would kind of look neat worn backwards with the exposed zipper down the back. But with the invisible zipper, that would look off.

    • Property Q

      Yes — there’s a lot going on. And more volume below the waist for me tends to be a bad thing. It works for a ball gown skirt, but not this.

    • Polished Pinstripes

      +1 on the leather looking weird. I’d have to see it in person, but in the picture the single strip of leather just looks off. To me it looks like the skirt is on backwards and the leather strip should be in the back.

      • Wannabe Runner

        Agreed. I couldn’t tell in the picture on this site whether it was a zipper or not. Either way, it looks bad.

  3. AN

    The leather strip down the middle looks a bit off to me, maybe it looks better in person than onscreen. Anyway for some reason, A line skirts always remind me of school uniform skirts.

  4. Freelance billing question

    I’m doing some freelance tech consulting and am not sure how to handle billing.

    I’ve been doing some set-up / research for our meetings (largely doing training with different tools, setting up web presence, prepping a blogging platform) but am not sure if I should bill for this or if it is included in my in-person fee?

    I’m going to speak with the client about it but wanted to see what was standard for people who are / have used freelance contractors. Happy to bill at a reduced rate (billed at the top-end because her location requires 1.5 hours on the bus round trip) but curious what is standard.

    • Diana Barry

      I say bill for everything! :) If you are a consultant, the usual way is to bill by the hour or have an all-in flat fee (this is in the US). I would bill by the hour so you can count all of the time spent prepping.

      Of course, this is from my billable-hour lawyer mindset, so YMMV. :)

    • Killer Kitten Heels

      For this particular client, I’d bill the time, but going forward, maybe think about offering a flat-fee “setup fee” or something as part of the deal. (Said as someone who uses freelance contractors and likes the predictability of flat-fee bills!)

    • anon2

      I’m a freelance consultant and my philosophy is that if I’m doing something for a client or related to their project, be it research, training, travel, whatever – that precludes me from being at my desk doing something else for a different client, bill it at your normal rate. Don’t devalue your time – all of these “prep” things make it possible for you to do the work for which you were hired. And assuming the client had a choice of who could do this work, they wanted YOU – so do good work, don’t abuse the hourly rate thing, but DO NOT charge less. If you don’t think you are worth it, why should your client?

      • anon2

        And don’t bring it up with your client unless they ask about it. You’ll sound like you are asking their permission to charge them for your work.

      • Wannabe Runner

        Agree. You can always reduce or discount a bill at their request, or “just to be nice.” But don’t devalue yourself. You deserve to be paid for the work you’re doing.

  5. Anon

    This is mostly a question for the lawyers, but probably applies to a lot of professions. How do you keep up with your field? There’s the stuff you hear through water cooler talk, but what do you find is the best source for making sure you’re aware of the latest issues? Blogs? Articles in bar journals? Other? If blogs, how did you find the best ones for your practice area?

    • Diana Barry

      I have a few things:
      – Scan Lawyers Weekly for state cases in my field;
      – Bar association emails/news
      – CLEs. I only hit the big ones for my field – usually the state CLE has a big annual update with “big” speakers in the field, and the city bar also has an annual and semi-annual update that cover all the state laws.
      – I get tax news updates every day from RIA (part of Thomson/Reuters).

      I basically keep up every day a little bit, and then hit the CLEs about 4x/year to get all the big updates.

      Also, my specialty (T+E) is fairly small/self-contained. It’s not like litigation where there are 10,000 different types – so I think it is easier to identify the good sources of information.

      • k-padi

        Second hitting only the “big” CLEs. I have a short attention span when it comes to legal education so I only go to conference that are longer than 2 hours if there is a big reform or a big USSC case in my area that “changes everything”. I refuse to go to legal academic conferences where the speakers are mostly non-practitioners. I really like the PLI programs ($$$) and AIPLA conferences.

        Other than that, I read a major blog in my specialty and any articles that other practitioners post to LinkedIn or send via email. If there’s a major case, I’ll read it and a few of the bulletins posted by Big Law firms that interpret the case. I avoid case notes and summaries written by academics–they just aren’t practical and sometimes not even accurate for my practice.

    • kjoirishlastname

      I find that going to conferences and workshops helps me to get reacquainted with the profession. It tends to re-excite me about my line of work, and gives me new ideas for implementation. It will be my turn for conference next summer, and I plan to attend one that is less generic, and more in line with the things that I value about urban planning (sustainability, livability, public health as it relates to planning…) I’m reading this year’s topics and just wishing I could go, but it’s not in the budget.

      I sometimes read the journal of the American Planning Association, but only if something really strikes me. Our in-house atty sometimes sends us good land-use legislation updates from around the country, but esp. our state.

      I also try to participate in committees or “special” projects that I find interesting. For example, we constantly have zoning ordinance amendments being researched and written. I find that if I pick some of the amendments that appeal to me, I will spend the time to do the research, to help our ordinance be better. We did a master plan for a 20-acre site in town a few years back that was very interesting to me, so I tried to play as big a role from the staff side as I could.

    • BKDC

      I follow the trade publications that are relevant to my industry. I’m also a member of a related bar association and do try to attend CLEs.

      I also use twitter to stay on top of news that relates to my field. I guess it depends on the area in which you practice — for me, there are regulatory, legal and consumer components that make it a widely-followed and reported topic.

    • BB

      Google alerts. Not sure how applicable this is to legal, but it’s very useful in any type of corporate (so maybe if you’re in-house?). Set up google alerts for your company and your competitors. I get weekly alerts and skim through them. This in addition to industry publications (usually online) keeps me pretty up to date.

      • roses

        I use Google Alerts in law too. I have one for each of my clients (or at least, the subdivision I’m working for in the case of huge corporate clients), for pending legislation I’m tracking, and for specific emerging issues that I know haven’t been resolved by courts or are the subject of conflicts of authority.

        • rosie

          I also use Google alerts for issues relevant to clients. I also set up notifications for legislation (govtrack, I think) or rulemaking dockets of interest (regulations.gov). You can use Westlaw or Lexis to send you alerts on legal issues or cases as well.

    • Ellen

      This is a great skirt, but I do NOT like the leather stripe down the front. I had something like this in COLLEGE (it was “pleather”) and it did NOT go thru the WASH very well and disentigrated on me. FOOEY! Also, men would say to me, can I unzip your skirt? FOOEY on those men that wanted to see me without my skirt! FOOEY!

      As to the OP, yes, we must stay current, and that is the law. By law, we must get 24 credit’s each 2 year’s includeing 4 of ethics. I meet my requirement’s easily b/c the manageing partner know’s someone at the Bar Association that send’s us blank certifieate’s that we just fill out and keep in a vanilla folder for 4 year’s just in case we get audited. Also, the manageing partner and I teach classes for CLE where we get credit for teacheing the class equal to 3 times the number of hours. So if we teach for 1 hour, we get 3 credit’s; 2 hours = 6 credit’s etc, etc… so it is not a problem for us.

      And I am forced to stay current on new thing’s b/c the manageing partner is expanding the firm into new area’s of the law, now Interntational Import and Export law. I am suposed to be headeing up the departement, but this is temporearly on hold as long as this IRS guy is noseing around. Today, I am suposed to go out for coffee with him and get muffin’s at crumb’s, but I am wearing nice pump’s and did NOT walk today with my fitbit, b/c the cleaneing lady I think has it in her pocketbook when she did my laundry on Sunday. Thank GOD she did NOT wash it– that would be dumm, but she did NOT give it back to me so I had to explain all of that to dad. I told dad that as long as I do NOT get FITBIT credit, I will NOT walk, and he grumbeled, but did not say more b/c he cannot check on me anyway! YAY!!!!

      He told me to have the cleaneing lady drop it off by Tomorrow b/c he want’s to see my tuchus moving by Thursday. He told me that Mom will NOT be makeing any pie’s for me unless my tuchus is in a size 4 when I get there this weekend. FOOEY ON DAD — his tuchus is much bigger then mine. I have to figure out how the hive deal’s with a dad that is SO CONTROLLEING! FOOEY!

      For now, I just have to charm the IRS guy. That is NOT goeing to be easy, but the manageing partner is depending on me. DOUBEL FOOEY!

    • WomenLawyersNews

      As for the blogs, try http://lawprofessors.typepad.com/ for a blog in your practice area as well as the ABA blawg list, that way you can hopefully stay in the loop on upcoming CLEs/events in your area efficiently too. We hope you’ll check out our site too (shameless plug) – we’re trying to efficiently keep women lawyers informed about news and resources of interest, like this one, in one convenient spot. :-)

    • Wannabe Runner

      Listservs/email lists in my field. Also, weirdly, facebook. I am social with a lot of other lawyers in my field, and many post things on their personal facebook walls. “Isn’t this outrageous!!?” or whatever.

    • Interrobanged

      I’m in-house at an insurance company, so this is something often on my mind. I am on the board of a defense-oriented organization and supervise lawyers handling all of our coverage disputes, so that keeps me pretty well up dated. We also have a great feature through our State Bar called “Caselaw Express” (I don’t know if it’s available elsewhere) that summarizes every appellate case released the prior week and categorizes the cases by type. So I just look for the ones involving insurance, torts, personal injury, construction defect, etc., and read all of them. These things, plus the legal research I occasionally do, keeps me pretty well informed of developments in the law.

  6. Anon. for this

    Has anyone ever had experience with an employment placement agency, or have any feedback as to whether they really have your best interest in mind? I had a meeting with a (reputable in my field) placement agency last week. Although my job search is going well on its own, I thought I would do everything I could to increase my chances of success. They knew I had other offers in the works, and a lot of the questions they asked were about what I knew about those organizations and positions. They said it was so they could negotiate the best salary, benefits, etc., for me, and so they could market me as an in-demand candidate to their clients. I’ve been rethinking the exchange a lot, and some of the questions seem like they were digging for information either to refer another candidate or add it to their info. about the employer. I didn’t divulge anything confidential (only shared publicly available salary information about a government position), but it’s still not sitting right with me. I can’t help but wonder if they add the positions that people like me tell them about to their database, basically making anything I share with them even more competitive and more difficult for me to get. I also don’t want my name to ever come up in the course of a negotiation for someone else (as in, we know you offered Anon. for this X, Y, and Z), for obvious reasons. The privacy policy is a standard cover their a** type thing, which does allow them to share anything I share with them in the course of working on my placement. I’ve never worked with an agency before. Am I being paranoid, or is this normal?

    • Anon. for this

      Op here, adding that I started becoming suspicious based on what the person I was meeting with wrote down. He wasn’t writing down things that seemed like they would be helpful to my job search (my minimum salary requirements) and was writing down things that would seem more helpful to getting other candidates those positions or their business overall (where did I read about that job posting?).

      • M

        I can’t speak for the employment agency with which you met, but one of my good friends is a legal recruiter and she is paid salary plus a decent commission for every person she places. In that sense, getting you a job is certainly in their best interest. My sister also works for a staffing agency (non-professional) and her compensation is similarly structured. So while they may be fishing for information that is ancilliary to placing you, their interest should at least in part be in line with your’s. That being said, neither my friend nor my sister have ever mentioned using interviewees to find new clients/positions.

      • Ashley

        Employment agencies work to boost their bottom line no matter what it takes. So any illusion of them having your best interest at heart is a bold faced lie. They work for billables. Period.

        I used to work for a major international placement firm.

    • TBK

      I’m not sure about other fields, but I know in the legal field recruiters are paid by the employers so, no, they’re not working for your best interests. They’re working for the employers’ and their own. Whether they might send other candidates to jobs you mention I’m not sure. But the guy writing down information about where you heard about the job and details about the company, etc. doesn’t strike me as that shady. Their business is knowing the job market and part of that is knowing who’s hiring, which types of job postings get the most hits, etc. That’s not to say they aren’t interested in finding you a job. They get paid by placing people. What you offer when you walk in the door is a product they can turn around and offer to their clients. If he thought you’d be worth offering to them, he would want to make sure he had the information he needed to make a good sales pitch for you. If he wasn’t taking down any information about you, it might have been because: (1) he had all the information he needed from your resume or other materials you’d submitted; (2) he didn’t think you were a good fit for any of his clients; (3) he didn’t need information like salary requirements at this stage because he’ll work that out with you if/when you get an offer; (4) he is actually unscrupulous and often uses job seekers as a way to get info on his industry he’s too lazy to go out and get himself. So, sure, the agency could be shady but it could also be totally legit.

    • roses

      I’ve never worked with an agency before, but my hunch is that they are taking down information about where you found jobs, salaries offered, etc. But that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Your analysis seems to disregard two factors: 1) They’re likely only helpful to you because of the information they have gathered from a variety of sources (including other candidates), so there’s no reason you should be exempt since you’re benefitting from the system, and 2) it doesn’t really make sense for them to do things that would hurt their clients’ chances of getting a job – that’s kind of a bad business strategy. That said, if they don’t seem to be helpful, no reason not to ditch them.

    • XC

      As a fledgling recruiter, here are my two cents.

      My company posts jobs on our own website and on other job boards. It is helpful to know where a candidate heard about the job to determine the success of these postings. Also, when I send out emails I always say forward to someone who may be interested. Referalls are important.

      Yes, details from your interview can and will be used to help the next candidate. However, that should not be a problem as we pay it forward. For other interviews, you might benefit from the information.

      Discussing your pay rate and what you are looking for, only helps you out not another candidate. Sometimes the company is offering too low a rate for the qualification of the job. We can then go to them, say their rate is too low, and sometimes the rate will increase.

      I hope this helps. However, if you feel uncomfortable, you are not required to stay.

  7. Diana Barry

    Hey ladies –

    I have a few things from Boden and Ann Taylor that I don’t wear any more but have only worn a few times at most:
    – Red blazer from AT that buttons all the way up;
    – Brown cotton velvet blazer from Boden, nice brown color, heavy weight;
    – Brown cotton knee-length skirt from Boden, with floral embroidery on it.

    All size 8.

    If any ‘r**tes would like them, please email me at dianabarryr**te at the gmail and I will send you pictures! I am happy to give away (just pay shipping costs).

    • Two Cents

      In case no one bites, I’ve had really good luck consigning Boden and AT stuff at Found (in Somerville). I have also had good luck at Second Time Around. I’ve often made about 100 dollars, which is pretty great.

      • Diana Barry

        Thanks! I have a friend who works at STA, so I often will just give her things to put there – wanted to offer here first though. :)

  8. BKDC

    I’m 9 weeks pregnant and my clothes and my skirts are already starting to feel uncomfortably tight. As I tend to primarily wear skirts, which zipper, I can’t take advantage of the “rubber band around the button” trick. Anyone have any tips on how I can hold out just a bit longer before having to start shopping?

    • TBK

      Bella band. It’s advertised for use with pants, but I had no trouble using it with pencil skirts.

    • TBK

      Bella band. They’re advertised for pants but I found they worked fine for pencil skirts.

    • kjoirishlastname

      bella band may get you some more mileage out of your zip skirts, but unzipping the skirt to accommodate a larger body can sometimes make the skirt not lay right. I would just be scouring your skirts for ones that sit lower on your hips (some a-lines/flounce-hem, moreso than pencil skirts) and/or looking for inexpensive things to take you a bit farther.

      You may want to try a local thrift shop/goodwill for skirts in knit materials, and/or larger sizes for a quick, inexpensive fix until you start spending money on actual maternity clothes.

      • Property Q

        There are also maternity consignment stores in my city and friends of mine have done bulk buys of maternity clothes on their local craigs list. Sometimes you just need some bottoms to get you started (but make sure you have shirts long enough to cover any maternity parts of the bottoms — this was a problem for me). You’re going to need them eventually (and I do miss the pants — so comfortable that I had to wean myself off of the maternity shorts when my youngest started walking), so maybe it’s time to dive into resources in your area.

        If worse comes to worse, I swore by the liz lange maternity bottoms at target and you mix those in with some sweaters / jackets and probably be fine for a while longer.

        • TBK

          This is all fine if you’re okay with people knowing you’re pregnant. If you’re trying not to look pregnant for a little while, wearing maternity clothes is the last thing you want to do. I wore a bella band with my pencil skirts for about 4 weeks and it worked well enough. Things didn’t look perfect, but good enough.

          • Property Q

            YMMV, but some shapes lend themselves to getting away with maternity pants + normal clothes to 20 weeks or so, especially for a first baby. But merely bigger pants often won’t do the trick. You don’t have to shop in public — Target will deliver in its usual packaging.

            FWIW, destination maternity had something called a “now and later” waistband that I still wish I had. That may be a way to do a gentle walk into maternity wear and not have wasted money b/c you can wear it post-baby as well.

    • BKDC

      Thank you all for the bella band suggestion. I was concerned that it wouldn’t work with skirts, but it sounds like I was mistaken. I’m trying to hide this pregnancy for as long as possible. It certainly doesn’t help that last year I had a lot of my skirts taken in do to some weight loss. I could use that extra room now!

      • Anonymous

        Don’t be afraid to buy a few items on sale. You’ll probably want them post partum. I wish I had just bought some stuff early on because I would be able to wear it now.

    • hoola hoopa

      Dresses in the vein of Eileen Fisher and J Jill work really well. Wearing with a scarf, belt (to a point), and jacket can hide a bump well and keep you comfortable. They’ll be comfortable and flattering post-baby, too, so they are well worth a purchase.

  9. Care Package

    My boyfriend works on a submarine and is going to be deployed sometime soon. I wanted to make him a little going away package for things to keep him comfortable and remind him of me while he’s underway. We’ll be able to email, but won’t have phone, Skype, mail, etc. Do you guys have any ideas? I was thinking of maybe a few DVDs, a flash drive with some music (he’ll have a computer), some nice tea, etc.

    • LilyB

      If he’s at all sentimental, or if you are, maybe some little notes that are supposed to be opened at prescribed times (like once a week) with lists of things you love about him, things you want to do with him when he gets back, etc. That way he has something to look forward to continually instead of getting everything at once. Bonus if each note has a picture inside or some other memento to remind him of you and home.

      On a less sentimental note, anything consumable you think he’ll miss- candy, tea, good coffee. I think movies are definitely a good idea.

    • Clementine

      My husband works in commercial shipping now (used to work on subs) and for most of the last few years, it’s been a similar setup: no phone calls for 6 weeks, text only emails, etc. Here are the things that have really worked for us:

      – I have a little box I filled up with ‘happy thoughts’, little memories I wrote down on just slips of paper and he can reach in and pull one out. Some of them are hysterical, some are sentimental, some are just fun.

      – If you wear perfume, spray a bunch on a hankie or index card and put it in a ziploc. Subs especially have a weird ammonia-esque scent and being around a bunch of dudes, you start to miss non-dude scent.

      – You can’t really sit up super well or always put a laptop all the way up, so something like an iPad or portable DVD player is nice. Also, record some stupid little videos for them- ones of our dog acting crazy are always good.

      – Make it a priority to really email. At times you really have to think about what to write but write as often as you are able. It keeps you connected. Heck, I often just go through what I ate all day because it lets him know about the mundane stuff.

      I don’t know if you’v done this before but it’s definitely an adjustment. I always want to slap people who say ‘Oh, I could NEVER do that.’ Yes, you could. You might not like it, but if it was important, you could. Take care of yourself, make plans with friends and don’t dwell on him not being there- think about how awesome it is when he’s around. GOOD LUCK! Page me on here if you ever want to talk it out. Not a lot of people have been in this situation, so sometimes it’s nice to have someone who has done this before.

      • Anonymous

        This isn’t a good idea. They aren’t allowed to have perfume/deoderant on subs because of the recycled air and allergies. So perfume is a no-no.

    • In Rem

      Aww — my husband is in the Navy, too, so we’ve been there. It gets better after he leaves as you’ll get into a normal daily routine again. Great suggestions, Clementine.

      • In the Pink

        Mine isn’t in the service, but travels to posts a lot and for some time. Best story was he was home, and I literally shut the patio door on him. He was following me outside and I forgot that. Funny now; not so much before.

        I have a ritual of selecting and packing the dvds for him. So that’s a great suggestion. Maybe you can put more in the packages…don’t know about storage for him. I know it’s tight on subs.

        Thanks to Clementine and In Rem. Letting your hubs serve the rest of us and keep us safe! Many thanks for YOUR sacrifices, wives!

    • hoola hoopa

      An SO and I had a shorter spell of similar (lack) of communication, and we emailed each other a “photo of the day”. Some were silly or modestly sexy, but most were just a pic of us going about our week. It was pre-instagram and facebook, so maybe this idea isn’t so novel any more, but it really was so wonderful to receive.

  10. Noelle

    Wedding shower / wedding gift etiquette question:

    I was recently invited to a wedding shower. I know I’ll also be invited to the wedding (I received a save-the-date a few months ago). Unfortunately, I won’t be able to attend either event, as my due date is 2-4 weeks before both events. I was already planning to send the couple a wedding gift, but do I also send a gift for the shower? If it makes a difference, I am a reasonably good friend of the bride and groom, but we’re not especially close. Thanks for your help!

    • LilyB

      I would just send one gift. I generally think wedding showers are unnecessary, though, so others might have different opinions.

    • LeChouette

      I would … smaller gift for the shower from just you and larger gift from you and your SO for the wedding.

    • rosie

      You don’t have to send a shower gift if you’re not attending the shower, but it’s never wrong to do so. I would probably send something small, like a cookbook or some pretty dishtowels (from Anthro or similar) and a card. Or sending just a card saying how excited you are for her and how you wish you could have been at the shower would also be a nice gesture.

    • Baconpancakes

      No, not unless you want to. It’s become customary for gifts to be sent for the wedding regardless of attendance, but the shower is a much more personal affair, and at the last few showers I attended, the only non-attendee who sent a gift was the out-of-town future MIL.

      On the same note, does anyone know how bridal showers came about, with their accompanying additional gifts? Curmudgeonly of me, I know, but I’m annoyed at being tacitly expected to buy a bridal shower gift in addition to a wedding gift and often a bachelor3tt3 party racy gift as well, on top of any travel, clothing, and hotel costs associated with actually attending the wedding. My friends in particular probably wouldn’t mind terribly if I didn’t pay for all of these things, but it is accepted and expected in general.

      • January

        I don’t have time to go look for a full history, but my understanding was that the practice originally was intended to help the couple set up house. Obviously it seems a little silly now when the couples have probably been living on their own (and likely together) for many years before the wedding.

        • Baconpancakes

          Yes, with the wedding gifts, that makes sense. I meant the separate gifting at the bridal shower, where the gifts are only given to the bride even though they’re (currently) exactly the same gifts as on the wedding registry. Did the bridal shower used to be giving the bride personal gifts? Like her trousseau, that she would keep even if the marriage ended?

          • Batgirl

            My other comment is stuck in moderation.

            I think that wedding gifts were maybe a bit different in the past? And that this was more about little tokens for the kitchen/bedroom? I think that’s where the gifting traditions come from (nighties, kitchen things, recipe books).

            I get annoyed by many wedding things (namely just too many pricey celebrations these days) but I do think it’s a nice tradition to have something for just the women in the family/friend circle.

          • hoola hoopa

            I don’t know for sure, by my hunch is similar to Batgirl. I’m guessing that when gender roles were very explicit, men and women would present gifts at the wedding which were intended for the more public spaces of the home (ie, living, dining room, library) whereas the (handmade?) gifts for more ‘intimate’ and ‘feminine’ spaces of bedroom and kitchen would have come from only women at an exclusively female environment.

            I think showers were also a time when married women close to the bride would explain to the bride about s*x, since the topic was typically not introduced earlier.

          • hellskitchen

            I also get irked that the shower gifts given to the bride are usually kitchen or housekeeping items. They should either be something personal that just the bride can use or if it’s a household item, it shouldn’t be kitchen related just because the gift is being given to the bride.

      • Batgirl

        I always thought it originated as a way to get the bride set up for her “wifely” duties–that’s why most gifts were either cooking related or s3xy time related.

        I’m a bit of a curmudgeon about all the gifts, too, but I think that unless you’ve never met the person holding the shower (i.e. cousin’s wives, etc) and think it’s odd you were invited in the first place, you should give a small gift for any shower you’re invited to, whether you attend or not. Having put together a few showers for friends now, I’m realizing how important it is to some women when they invite friends and family and how hurt they can feel when people decline. Failing to send a gift seems to add insult to injury, but YMMV. That’s just my take.

        That said, I never give a bachelorette gift and I generally refuse to go “ancillary” events that will cost me a ton of money (i.e. weekend in Vegas, etc).

        • Wannabe Runner

          Yeah, YMMV certainly.

          I have a huge family on both sides and invited all of them to both shower and wedding. Not all made it. I didn’t need a gift, I just wanted to make sure they felt included. Many that couldn’t come sent a card. That was 100% fine with me. It’s just how my family works.

          I agree with you, hellskitchen, about how shower stuff often translates to “kitchen” as though that’s the main place a woman should be. Wedding traditions have all kinds of weird history/sexist overtones. (“Giving away” the bride? I dropped that part completely, although I appreciated my dad walking me down the aisle. He liked it too.)

      • Bizzyb

        In my poorer southern US circles, you are only expected to give the one gift. If you give at the shower, you generally don’t at the wedding. Of course, these are also punch & cake at the reception hall weddings, and gifts are around $25, even from relatives.

    • Diana Barry

      I would send one gift – maybe make it slightly bigger than you would normally, but just one is totally fine.

      • Noelle

        Thanks for all the input, ladies. My takeaway is that there are no hard-and-fast rules here (I was afraid of inadvertently breaking one), so I’ll just exercise my judgment accordingly.

    • kjoirishlastname

      I think it’s pretty classic. The only thing that makes it non-traditional is the collar, but that’s what sets it apart

      • OHCFO

        A few times before I’ve sewn in a little hook & eye closure for jackets that aren’t “supposed” to close so that they feel more versatile. Pretty much invisible unless you’re looking right at it.

  12. anon

    So, how do you apologize without apologizing in a professional setting? I had an exchange with a staff person this morning where I delivered a verbal message more harshly than I should have. The message is valid, and I stand by it, and would do it again, but I should have adjusted the delivery for the sensibilities of the receiver. I know I should apologize for the harshness, but I am concerned that the message will be lost if I do, or I will sound insincere.

    • Marilla

      You don’t sound like you really believe you owe this person an apology, so, yes, you will sound insincere. This “I should have adjusted the delivery for the sensibilities of the receiver” makes it sound like you think it’s not your actions that were wrong, and if this person was less sensitive it wouldn’t have been anything to apologize for. I think you should spend a little time reflecting on that and ACTUALLY apologize for your tone. You can perfectly well apologize for tone while standing by your message, but the fact that you want to apologize without really apologizing is sort of weird and sounds like you’re actually still angry and haven’t calmed down and thought about the interaction with some emotional distance yet.

    • M

      You could try “I wanted to follow up with you regarding xyz that we discussed this morning and see if you had any questions. Also, I spologize if I came off as a little harsh this morning, it was not my intention. I just wanted to make sure you understood xyz but probably could have communicated it in a better way.” It reiterates that you stand by your position while also apologizing for the way it was communicated.

      • C

        Leave the “if” out if it and actually apologize only if you mean it. This qualified apology “I’m sorry if I blah blah” comes off so insincere. I agree with marilla’s advice. Apologize for your tone if you mean it; don’t apologize for the message.

    • snowy

      Don’t apologize then. If you don’t regret doing it, I don’t see the point.

      If you do regret being harsh, try to remember that in the future. I had a supervisor who was very harsh and would apologize when he realized he had been hurtful; I would much rather he just didn’t speak so rudely to me!

      The same goes when those I’m managing make mistakes – I don’t want an apology, I just want you to do it right next time!

    • Parfait

      Apologize, or do not. You can try to apologize without apologizing but it will not feel good for either party.

      Here is the best thing I have ever read about how to apologize. It has been seriously life-changing, improving all my relationships, both personal and professional, and I trot it out every chance I get.

      http://www.salon.com/2001/08/23/sorry_if/

  13. Romey

    Good morning – threadjack question. There’s a partner in my group – really nice guy and I have a good rapport with – his father died a few weeks ago. The partner just returned to the office this week after taking a week off. Should I say something to him about his father’s death, i.e. “I”m so sorry for your loss”? I want to be appropriate without being awkward. I have not seen him yet but I would like to stop by to say hi. Please advise – thank you!!

    • Anon

      I would say something like “I was so sorry to hear about your father’s death. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do.” I recently had a death in the family and my officemate didn’t acknowledge it, even though I knew he knew about it. I know it’s an awkward subject, but staying silent can be worse than a simple, polite gesture.

    • anon

      Please say something! I understand that it feels super-awkward, but when my mother died it meant a lot to me when people acknowledged it. Just ‘I’m sorry about your loss’ or ‘I’m sorry about your father’ would be great.

    • mascot

      There is nothing inappropriate about a heartfelt expression of sympathy. “Partner, I heard about your loss, I’m sorry, you’ve been in my thoughts” and done.

    • Senior Attorney

      Also, a nice sympathy card is always nice. When my father-in-law passed away, the most unexpected people dropped off lovely cards and it was so nice. I still remember who did that, and it’s been more than five years.

    • Anon

      I agree with what everyone said, above. Just poke your head into his office and say, “I just wanted to poke my head in to say I am very saddened to hear about your father.” If he starts talking about it, stand there and listen. If he just says thanks, just say it’s good to have him back in the office and duck out.

  14. Today show wardrobe

    I am IN LOVE with the shoes Savannah Guthrie wore on the Today show this morning. Does anyone have a clue where I can find the brand? I’ll add a link with a picture below.

  15. underthings

    What kind of lingerie budget do you lovely ladies have? How much is too much to spend on a chemise/bra/panties? I always find myself wanting all of the silky, lacy things this time of year…as in, I was ready to spend about $200 this morning before I stopped myself…

    • Anon

      I’m a hard-to-find size on top, so I allocate my $ there. And I’m always cold, so until I move to somewhere tropical, I put my $ for nice PJ sets (surprisingly expensive) and robes and not to chemises. I used to spend a ton on pretty underthings, but found that they were boyfriend-specific (so, new BF = new purchases). I just buy for me now and that has resulted in better purchases that are actually used (instead of sitting in drawers for mini-breaks where I needed to pack practical things in addition to the pretty).

      • kjoirishlastname

        ditto. I have to set myself up to pretty much spend about $50-75 per bra, at about 2-3 per year. I’m pretty basic as far as everything else goes–I will try to find the fancy pants at Ross or TJ Maxx or Target on sale. Or the VS 5/$26 when they go on deeper sale. Sadly, though, many of my unders are packaged deals. I just upgraded my tights wardrobe, so short of finding new and fun textures, I don’t need hosiery (except probably new smartwool socks this year). But, I do need to look at spending money on some slips. I just don’t want to spend $30 on something that won’t ever get seen.

        So, maybe $350/year total? That seems very high.

    • preg 3L

      Pre-pregnancy, I would certainly have the desire to spend serious money on lingerie but I always ended up buying stuff at H&M. Cheap, fun, and I don’t have to worry about losing it on vacation or having it fall apart in the wash.

    • anon

      I typically buy from H&M, too. If ideeli is having a free shipping promo, I will occasionally buy some underthings from there on a whim. I did recently see an ad for Fredericks of Hollywood and was lured over, and they were actually more reasonably priced than I expected (I spent about $30 for 3 items, all on sale, and you got free shipping once you hit $25).

    • ss

      I’ve virtually given up on silky/ lacy – seamless (or at least elastic lace) works better with anything I’m likely to wear, plus hubby actually likes a sportif/ bikini-esque look.

      And while I am certain this is over-sharing, here are my 4 sources of underwear :
      – Bangkok for practical-but-pretty nudes and blacks (Thailand is a big manufacturer and the local/ export brands are great and cheap, perhaps USD 20 for a well-made bra, any big department store will do, but Asian sizes only).
      – France for sexy (wispy straps, transparent fabrics, many many options in my preferred non-padded bra style, department stores are good as well but I also like the Princesse Tam Tam brand which has stand-alone shops, perhaps USD 65 for a bra)
      – Amazon for a specific style of front-closing bra (Wacoal, maybe USD 40 ?)
      – Topshop for playful girly panties which make me smile when I see them, under USD 5

    • hoola hoopa

      I don’t have a budget per se, but here’s what I spend:
      – 2 workhorse bras every year @ ~ $75/each
      – 1 playful bra every other year ~ ~$75/each
      – 6-12 daily panties every year at various price points – I try to buy high quality on super sale and keep in rotation for a few years
      – I buy a nice set of special occasion lingerie every 2-3 years. Essentially I buy something when I see something I love. Spend ~$150-200 each? I’ve built up a nice collection that way, rather painlessly. I also favor French.

    • anon-oh-no

      hanky panky is basically the only panties i wear and i just buy them as i see them, almost always on sale (on a side note, i realized a few weeks ago that i had litterally gone three months without washing my delicates when i found myself down to my last few pair that i rarely wear, so maybe i have too many . . . but i digress)

      as for bras, again, i jsut buy them as i feel like it. bras are something i have a hard time with — i own them it a variety of sizes and i feel like none ever fit properly, so im constantly buying new ones in hopes that it will work.

  16. anon

    This Friday is my last day at a job I’ve had for 1.5 years. I’m leaving on good terms, and my new position will require me to be in touch with my old company regularly. What kinds of things should I do before I leave? I’ve already handed off all my projects, transferred important files, cleaned up the few personal things I had on my work laptop. I’m running out of things to occupy my last few days. Anything you can suggest?

    • rosie

      Have you collected all of your contacts, both from email and business cards you might have lying around? When I left my last job, I scanned a bunch of business cards to give to the person taking over as contacts and so I would have the info, too. Do you know what you have to do in terms of exit interview, giving back company property, etc.? Are those things scheduled?

      It sounds like you’re in good shape, generally, so I would schedule lunch/coffee breaks with coworkers that you like. Leave yourself more time than you think to say your goodbyes.

    • Wannabe Runner

      Make sure you have contact lists, phone lists of other offices you deal with, phone/email directory of the office you are leaving. When a friend left my last office, he called me a few weeks later wanting the numbers we had on speed dial on the office fax machine. Anything you use for reference.

  17. Julia

    To baconpancakes: bridal showers used to be for the purpose of giving a bride the things she would need to set up housekeeping…girls used to live at home until they did marry. Gifts used to be small, kitchen items, towels, other linens, etc. No Kitchenaid mixers or other expensive items! I received such things as an iron and ironing board, mixing bowls, hand mixer, measuring cups, etc. Oh well, that was a long time ago. And there were no bachelor33tt3 parties…you had a luncheon with your bridesmaids. I only had a maid of honor, so the two of us went out to lunch at a very nice restaurant, my treat, and I gave her her gift for being my MOH.

    • Baconpancakes

      I thought that’s what wedding gifts were for? Or did people not used to ask for baking sheets for their wedding gifts?

      • Batgirl

        I think you hit the nail on the head. I feel like wedding gifts used to be more like crystal vases, china, etc and less of the everyday kitchen variety. Maybe the shift is because home life is less formal now?

        • TBK

          I always think of shower gifts as smaller than wedding presents. For my shower, I got things like a soap dispenser and scrubbie caddy for the kitchen sink, a set of dish towels, a small cut glass candy dish, a tablecloth, etc. Whereas my wedding presents were things like a dozen wine glasses, china place settings, counter top appliances, expensive cookware.

          Honestly, I think we should do away with wedding presents and instead have a new leaving home party when people are around 21 or so. It’s extremely rare nowadays for a couple to leave home for the first time when they get married and our gift giving is out of date. Instead we now have broke 22 year olds trying to set up a household with odds and ends, and well established 30 year olds with no idea where to put the wedding gifts they’ve gotten.

          • kjoirishlastname

            brilliant. A true graduation party. A set-up-your-apartment party. Then wedding gifts can be a little more splurge-y. The Good Cookware, or the Good Knives.

          • New Wife

            Hell to the yes.

            I was 32 and moved in with my DH 6 months before we got married. We were each homeowners of 2BR places. We had to combine two households and got rid of tons of stuff when we moved in together. Adding the same stuff to a wedding registry 6 months later was excruciating. The registry was the absolute hardest part of getting married for me.

            Plus our wedding was in the spring, and both our birthdays are in the winter, and despite us asking them not to, our families bought stuff for our birthdays and Christmas off our registry. I guess it was too tempting. But that left pretty much nothing by the time the shower was done. I felt bad for guests, but honestly, I DIDN’T WANT ANY MORE STUFF IN MY HOUSE. Thank you for all the wedding guests who got us things like giftcards for nice dinners at local restaurants, homemade treats, cash, etc.

          • zora

            YES PLEASE!!

            It seems so weird that the gifts/parties traditions have not caught up yet to the changing role of marriage and the changing lives of women in society. Sometimes when I think about it too hard it makes my head explode!!

            It just seems unfair as well, to make all of the ‘setting up of house’ gifts dependent on getting married when some people never do.

          • New Wife

            Ok, I guess the criticism is fair. My post does sound a little like I’m complaining about getting gifts. I didn’t mean that at all.

            I just mean that weddings are out of control in lots of areas, including gift giving, and that not every bride wants or needs a whole new kitchen, especially if we are already an adult and have a full kitchen set-up.

            There should be a better way for all of us to show love and support for a marriage instead of giving gifts, on- or off-registry. I’m on board with that.

            And many adults could certainly use kitchen gifts, unrelated to marriages!

    • Anonattorney

      My two cents on wedding gifts: if you don’t want to buy expensive or multiple gifts for a friend, then don’t. Just get them a card, or give them a thoughtful gift (a picture of the two of you in a small frame). If they get upset with you, screw ’em.

      Some (crazy) people will put pressure on the bride and groom to do registries or specific pre-wedding events, like showers. I speak from experience. I didn’t want a bridal shower, and didn’t want a large registry. We explicitly put on our invitations that we didn’t need gifts, and that guests could donate to a charity of their choice on our behalf if they were so inclined. Despite my disclaimers, a crazy relative decided to throw me a bridal shower and I had to show up. Some people got me gifts. Others didn’t. Another crazy friend of the family then requested that I add more to my registry because the items on it “weren’t fun enough” for guests to buy. So, we added some random stuff to the registry.

  18. Gloves

    Anyone have tips on how not to lose gloves? More specifically, how not to lose a single glove? I always have to buy a new pair EVERY year (this year was especially disastrous, as I lost said glove THE FIRST DAY I ACTUALLY NEEDED IT–BACK IN NOVEMBER. This is going to be a long winter).

    • Godzilla

      Dude, wear two different gloves, who cares? Unless you keep losing the same side glove.

      • Godzilla

        Oh and I store them in my coat pockets. Always. Not my purse or backpack or whatever. If I wash them (ha), they go directly to my underwear/sock drawer. The end.

    • Mpls

      Shrug. I’ve got about 5 pairs of mittens/gloves. Although they are all still complete pairs.

      Are your coat pockets deep enough to keep gloves from falling out?

    • preg 3L

      How/when are you losing them? If you keep them in deep coat pockets or in your purse, you won’t lose them unless they’re coming off while you’re out. Do you need tech-friendly gloves so you can keep them on the entire time you’re out? Do you need gloves that fit better? Just ideas, ymmv

    • TO Lawyer

      I think you need to be deliberate about where you put them when you take them off i.e. always put them in a coat pocket or in your purse. It’s the same thing with sunglasses – if you always put them in the same place when you’re not wearing them, you won’t lose them!

    • a.k.

      When I take off gloves, I put them in my hat for storage. If it’s cold enough for me to wear gloves, I need to be wearing a hat – they go together. At work they are in a drawer together, at home I stick them in the arm of my coat or in a bin.

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      Attach a long piece of string to them that goes around your neck. I know you aren’t five years old, but I have considered doing this myself… of course this doesn’t resolve the problem if you are losing them e.g. while in the office.

      • zora

        Srsly. I was thinking this would sound silly to suggest, but when I lived in a colder place, I REALLY did this. Then the string stays inside your coat when you hang it up, and they never get lost. It was the only way to prevent having to buy 4 pairs of gloves a year because I am a chronic, incurable loser of things.

  19. tipping workmen?

    Ladies, we are in the midst of redoing our bathroom. We are using a general contractor, so various of his crew have been on the project, as well as subs — plumber, tiling company. The gentleman who is doing our tiling is an employee of the tiling company. We have had several hiccups with the space and the materials, plus general chaos in the house when my children get home from school; in other words, not ideal working conditions. This tile installer has been so wonderful and done a great job and I was thinking I’d like to tip him for his work. I thought about a gift card to Subway or somewhere he could get lunches when he is working but I wonder if better to just give him some cash. I don’t want to insult him as a professional by tipping him (and I’m not planning to tip the GC’s workers at this point), but I would like to do something to show my appreciation for his fantastic work and mellow attitude. TIA for suggestions.

    • Orangerie

      Personally I think a Subway gift card would be kind of weird. Starbucks/Peets is usually a safe bet.

    • ITDS

      Cash. We had a person help build our deck (he did the footings and the framing, which are the hard parts). He was a professional, and we tipped him a few hundred for a job that cost us several thousand for dealing smoothly, and kindly with a couple of hiccups that caused him extra work during the construction. We gave it to him as cash, and eplained why, and he was very appreciative.

    • PinkKeyboard

      Sorry, hit report not reply. My husband is a contractor and has received both cash and gift cards as appreciative tips, neither has been received wrong. They all understand what you are saying/trying to do.

  20. PAR

    I loved this skirt until I realized the front leather trim was a zipper. Ugh, I really can’t wait for exposed zippers to go away. Otherwise, the shape is great and love the navy.

  21. Travel TJ

    Late TJ, but hopefully I’ll get some answers. I’m looking to fly from Boston to Asia this summer. The cheapest, quickest tickets I’ve found are through United and have just over an hour layover in San Francisco and then fly straight through to Asia. My question is, that’s not possibly enough time to clear customs, is it? I’ve searched around and it seems unlikely, but I really want it to be possible so I don’t have to pay an extra $200+ for the next cheapest tickets.

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      There is something called ‘minimum connecting time’ that is specific to each airport and an airline is not supposed to sell you a ticket that has too short a space in between flights.

      I’ve searched for it and the minimum connection time for SFO is 50 minutes if domestic to international. So it’s tight, but it might be doable. If they sell you a through ticket and you miss the connection, they have to put you on another flight for the same price.

      • Travel TJ

        Ahh. Thanks. Any tips to make it more likely that I’d actually make my intended flight?

        • Woods-comma-Elle

          I’ve only ever done one connecting flight and it was at Dulles and we almost missed it, so I’m just trying to think of what you could do. In general, I suspect there is very little you can actually do about it, it takes as long as it takes, but maybe a seat by the door on y0ur first flight, making sure you have all the stuff you need for the second flight in Boston, rather than having to buy anything at SFO.

          Also, check whether your luggage will be checked through, or whether you need to collect it (probably not, as it’s domestic to international, but on the way back, it probably won’t be checked through) as this will add time. You need more time generally from international to domestic, rather than the other way around.

          Will you need to change terminals? Print out a map and find out where you need to be in advance.

          • Travel TJ

            Thank you so much for the tips! You’re right that I won’t need to go through customs on my way out, just back in. This is new to me and I really appreciate your help.

        • TBK

          I’d prefer more than an hour for a connection in a big airport, but if you have to do it, here are a few of my thoughts.

          Definitely tell the flight attendants on your first flight that you have a tight connection. There may be others on your flight making the same connection and if there’s a delay, they make ask other passengers to sit tight and let you and the others making the connection get off first.

          Have all your stuff together on the plane so you can easily put yourself together and get on your way when you land.

          See if you can look at a map of the airport and see where you have to get to and from. It will be easier to plan your route if you know where you have to walk (run) as soon as you leave your first plane.

          Wear shoes you can run in and be ready to run through the airport. People will see you and know you’re trying to catch a flight and will get out of your way.

          As for clearing customs (and I assume you also mean immigration?) you’re very unlikely to do this Stateside. Every international flight I’ve done you show your passport when getting on the plane, but don’t go through immigration and customs until you get to your first foreign country. So a connection through, say, Tokyo on your way to Beijing might involve immigration/customs, but not a flight through an American city. (Although even foreign airports can differ. You can go through Frankfurt without going through immigration if you’re continuing on to a different country, but Paris…well, just don’t connect through Charles De Gaulle if you’re trying to get to a third country.)

      • Travel TJ

        Ahh. Yes, I realized this afterwards. Clearly I’ve never flown international. So I really only need to worry about having enough time on the return, huh?

        • Anon

          Exactly. I went through SFO last year coming back from Europe. It took about an hour to get off the plane, collect my luggage and get through customs/entry procedures as well as exiting the international terminal and rechecking my bag on my domestic flight to LAX. Note that you will have to get rescreened by TSA after exiting the arrivals hall into the public airport area. I was on United and found the signage to be pretty good. I made my flight with no problems. SFO is always busy but seems efficient relative to a crappier airport like Newark. United won’t let you book the ticket if there isn’t enough cushion.

        • Anonymous

          You still want to give yourself more time than you would for a domestic outbound flight. International flights are typically on much larger planes and will start boarding earlier and close the door earlier.

          I was on an international flight last year where I could’ve booked with a 1 hour layover in Chicago. I knew that wasn’t enough and instead booked one that put me in O’Hare at least two hours in advance. About 20 people on my international flight did not share that foresight (or just DNGAF) and booked the tight connection window. There was bad weather and they weren’t able to land until right before we started boarding. The airline held the plane for them, and with O’Hare terminal distances they didn’t get on the plane until 40 minutes after were scheduled to be in the air. This delay pulling back from the gate got us caught in a huge traffic jam to take off, which then caused a mechanical issue that sent us back to the gate for repair. We ended up taking off 4 hours and 59 minutes after we were supposed to, and one minute before we would’ve had to turn back to the gate *again* for another flight crew because our pilots would’ve hit the limit for on-duty time before landing. Moral of the story? Don’t be that d*bag (or 20) that delays everyone else’s vacation by 5 hours and possibly a full day because you think you move quickly in the airport.

          • Anon

            That happens routinely on international flights and I doubt anyone said “ooh I’m booking this close connection because I DNGAF.” It’s the reality of air travel today. There are fewer flights from which to chose due to mergers. Also be grateful your mechanical problem occurred on the ground rather than in flight.

          • Anon

            Anonymous 2:17 – yup because it’s all about your vacation. I’ll remember that on my next plane ride home for a sick parent or dying grandparent or a funeral. I’ll try not to inconvenience you with bad weather or mechanical problems since those are clearly the fault of people with tight connections.

        • preg 3L

          On my first international flight, I had to stop in Newark before heading to Europe. My mom, who booked my flight, gave me a 9-hour layover in Newark because she thought I would have to go through customs to leave the US. There was nothing to do other than sit in the terminal — I couldn’t get my luggage because it was automatically transferred, just like any connecting flight in the US. Coming back was an entirely different story and I would have been glad for the extra time.

        • anon

          Well your checked luggage might not make it in an hour to your international flight. I do not recommend taking this risk. Also you may have to clear security and change terminals. Very risky.

  22. cutter's remorse

    Just got bangs cut for the first time in YEARS. I’ve been growing out my hair from a short shaggy do that I had starting in about 1998-99, with some brief stints of growth (got well past my shoulders in ’05 for wedding), chopped off again shortly after returning to work with my first baby in ’08, and have pretty much been growing it out since sometime in 2011. It was just past my shoulders, and still is, but I got it shaped a little more like a long bob, with long bangs.

    I haven’t decided if I like them yet. I mean, it’s just hair. It will grow. Granted, I did NEED this haircut. It was long overdue. But blah, I hate this feeling of ambivalence.

    • Wannabe Runner

      As my grandfather always said, “What’s the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut? Two weeks.”

    • Anonymous

      If it helps, I always feel like this about any change to my hair — for the first three days. It just takes me that long to readjust my expectations about what I’ll see in the mirror, I guess? So, they might grow on you over the next couple of days. (Pun wasn’t intended at first, but I couldn’t bring myself to edit it out.)

  23. Anon

    Is there anything more annoying than listening to married people complain about the burden of too many gifts? Srsly- stop it. No one made you register at gun point (or, if they did, you haven’t shared it with us).

  24. Pioneer Electronics

    Wow that was odd. I just wrote an really long comment
    but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up.
    Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyways, just wanted to say wonderful
    blog!

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