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5/24/24 Update: The Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale has started — see our big sale roundup! Also, sign up for our newsletter to stay on top of all the great sales!
The below content is about the 2015 Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale.
Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
The Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale continues, and they still have a ton of good stuff, including this nice fit and flare dress. I like the work-appropriate length, the jewel neck, and the tiny check pattern. Lucky sizes only in this one, alas (sizes 10 and 14) — it was $228, now $136. Classiques Entier Mosaic Check Belted Fit Flare Dress
Here's a new markdown from the sale I like in sizes 0-6. Here's a more affordable option, and here's a plus size option.
Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.
Sales of note for 10.24.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event, 30% off! Suits are included in the 30% off!
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything, and redeem Stylecash!
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – Friends & Family event, 30% off sitewide.
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off entire purchase, plus free shipping no minimum
- White House Black Market – Buy more, save more; buy 3+ get an extra 50% off
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Wanderlust
Early TJ – I will be going to Northern Chile and Bolivia in July, and it’s winter there. The temperature ranges anywhere from low 20s at night and early mornings to high 60s during the day. I know the most obvious suggestion is to layer, but does anyone have a suggestion for an easily packable coat to wear?
Asideralis
http://www.rei.com/product/870482/patagonia-down-sweater-womens
I would recommend a small down jacket. They compress well when packed, and a thinner down jacket like the one above would be fairly flexible temperature-wise. If you visit a store such as REI, they will be able to recommend a jacket that would work for your specific needs. I use them for backpacking recommendations.
Wanderlust
Great suggestion, thanks!
Alice
Seconded. I have this particular jacket as well as the Mountain Hardwear equivalent, and highly recommend both–especially if you go with the hooded options.
Bonnie
Definitely layers. I’d bring a lightweight down coat like this http://www.rei.com/product/878094/rei-co-op-down-jacket-womens, a rain jacket like this http://www.rei.com/product/848274/white-sierra-trabagon-rain-jacket-womens-special-buy, and a fleece zip up. The combo of the 3 won’t take up much room but will get you through all kinds of weather.
Bonnie
Stuck in moderation because of links but my rec was to bring a lightweight down jacket, a rain coat and a zip up fleece.
mascot
This coat packs into its own pocket and is pretty warm. http://www.landsend.com/products/womens-primaloft-packable-jacket/id_264589
Calico
Uniqlo has wonderful, well priced down jackets and vests that fold up into a pouch. I love my vest.
anonforthis
I recently was contacted by a recruiter for a position at a small law firm in my niche field. I’m in biglaw now, practicing in that field. It seems like a great opportunity, and I have a meeting scheduled with the recruiter to talk about it. What I’m wondering is whether it’s “safe” to talk to a recruiter about how the prospective firm might handle maternity leave? I know it’s not something you typically ask the employer during the interview stage, but if anyone familiar with legal recruiting can comment on whether that question would be kept confidential, I’d love to hear from you. I know the alternative is to interview and see if I get an offer and then ask, but I’d rather not waste my time if I don’t have to.
Anonymous
The recruiter only makes money if you get hired. It’s in their best interest to put your best foot forward. I tend to be pretty open with them.
Blonde Lawyer
One way to approach it that doesn’t scream “I want to make babies” is to ask what their medical leave benefits are. In most states pregnancy leave has to be at least as good as other medical leave. That will usually result in a response that says something like “we have 6 weeks STD, an LTD policy, FMLA that runs concurrent with STD and if your leave is maternity related ____.”
ace
Is it an external headhunter or an internal recruiter? I don’t think I’d trust that what an external headhunter who gets paid a fee based on my hire says on this. I’d probably wait until I have an offer then phrase it as a general question about benefits as suggested above.
FWIW, while firms vary considerably as to what they provide in terms of ML benefits, most do not have a tenure requirement to get maternity leave benefits – though FMLA is only available (if at all) 12 months in. As long as you’re not planning to take maternity leave within the first year of starting at your firm, once you know what the ML benefits are generally it’s safe to assume you’ll be eligible for them.
mascot
There may be a tenure requirement for how much you get paid while on leave. I always suggest getting a short term disability policy to augment the income, even if you have to pay out of pocket yourself for it.
Anonymous
I think there are still enough small firms that do have a waiting period that if this is a serious issue for OP, it’s worth asking. FWIW, my small (sub-FMLA) firm does not allow any sort of protected leave for the first year, and paid leave only kicks in after 2 years. This is a firm that does have other above-market benefits for law firms (matches 401k and fully pays employees’ health insurance premiums), so general questions on benefits may not reveal the full picture w/r/t OP’s specific concern.
bridget
Talk about all of the benefits, salary, and bonus structure with the recruiter. Learn your own firm’s benefits structure (health, medical leave, disability, copays, 401(k) matching, etc.), and go item-by-item through the list.
I assume that if you’re going from BigLaw to a smaller firm, you will be taking a pay cut, so it’s not irrational that you would also want to know how your benefits structure will change.
anonymous
I’ve realized recently that I struggle with anxiety a bit. NOthign that rises to the level of needing therapy or medication, but still something I’d like to have greater control over. I exercise every day, eat really healhfully, and generally get the sleep I should. Any further suggestions?
Wildkitten
Medication or mindfulness meditation. I know you said it doesn’t rise to the level of medication but if you’re worried about it and the medication could make it go away it might be worth a try even if its not really serious.
Anonymous
Is there a reason not to give therapy a go?
CountC
This. Therapy is not something that is only useful to those people who have crippling anxiety. (I think it’s helpful for everyone, but that’s another discussion.) When it comes to anxiety, even if it’s mild or related to a one-time issue, therapy will help you drill down to what is causing the anxiety and help you develop strategies to cope and reduce the anxiety.
BUT, if you are really, totally, completely against it, try breathing techniques and meditation. If you Google, you’ll get tons of information on both.
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul
I think everyone can benefit from therapy at some point in their life too!
Carrie....
Totally agree!
Anonymous
Yeah so when you realize you’re struggling with anxiety even though you’re practicing good self care, that is when therapy makes sense. Maybe you just need three fine tuning sessions, but it’s worth a shot.
Miss Behaved
I was diagnosed with social anxiety almost 20 years ago. I saw a doctor and he put me on a mild dose of medication. My mother will tell you it was like having the child she remembers back. It allows me to be the chatty person I want to be. I can now talk to bartenders and people I don’t know. My mom says that’s how I was when I was a little girl, but things changed when I got older.
So I recommend it…
anon
You can try the Dialectical Behavioral Therapy workbook, sold on Am-a-zon
KT
If you’re taking good care of yourself, eating well, exercising, getting good sleep, etc, and still suffer from anxiety, therapy should be on the radar. Don’t think of it as long-term treatment–you may just need to learn some coping techniques and anxiety management tools and be done in 1-3 sessions. Or it may be more serious and require longer-term treatment or medication.
I delayed seeking treatment too for my anxiety. It “wasn’t that bad” and “I could deal with it”. After a while though, I realized, “why?” Why put myself through this if there was a better way?
I talked to my doctor. I got a mild prescription. I feel million times better and enjoy and much better quality of life.
Maddie Ross
What is it that makes you anxious? Is it just the stress of life in general, or is it a specific part of your work/life (i.e., presenting your ideas, dealing with deadlines, etc.)? If it’s the latter, while I’m sure therapy could help, you may be able to find techniques from self-help books and practicing more mindfulness and relaxation about those specific issues. If it’s permeating life in general, and your self-care isn’t working, I think I would steer you more towards therapy, too.
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul
Definitely meditation! I also recommend coloring! It’s super relaxing and quiets my mind.
Anonymous
I have taken up coloring too, and while I enjoy it, I have a hard time shutting down the perfectionist YOU MUST COLOR IN THE LINES part of my brain, which well doesn’t help me relax. HAHA
This is CountC, gah I hate that is reverts to anon!
anonymous op
I hear the recommendations for therapy and appreciate them. The question is about aspects of self care that I may have missed, or other things that people have found (non-therapy and non-medication) to be helpful.
The anxiety is not crippling or really affecting my behavior or performance in any way; I would just like to feel more at ease about things. It’s not a problem, per se, it’s just something I have identified for improvement. I am not opposed to therapy in general and have been for other things in the past, but it is my assessment that therapy/medication is not the best path forward at this point. I would greatly appreciate other suggestions if you all have them.
lucy stone
I have generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder (I am AWESOME!) and have found the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook to be helpful. I checked it out from the library during a nervous breakdown a few years ago and am still using the skills in it regularly. Yesterday I had a panic attack during a professional meeting and I just sat there and dealt with it. Four years ago that would have caused me to go running from the room in tears.
Mindfulness is awesome, but it is hard to be mindful when you are anxious. I’m more exhausted after a mindfulness meditation session than I am after work sometimes.
2 Cents
Thanks for the book rec. I’m a fellow GAD sufferer (among other things). I’ll check it out.
Anonymous
I highly recommend making an effort to spend more time outdoors. It really helps!
KT
If you’re spending long hours in an office, taking time in the middle of the day for a walk or light therapy can work wonders too.
AIMS
I think what you should be doing really depends on what is making you anxious.
That said, as a general suggestion for additional self-care, a good friend of mine found transcendental meditation to be immensely helpful in dealing with anxiety. He didn’t do the official classes, just read up on it and started doing it on his own and it really changed his whole outlook on things, and esp. how he dealt with stress. Like you, he didn’t want therapy and really didn’t want to take meds, but he had a very high pressure job and a lot of generalized anxiety, a few very mild panic attacks, and he says this really made a huge difference. FWIW, he’s not a hippie dippie type at all, so this was surprising to hear. It’s been a few years and I have to say you can even see a noticeable difference in him now.
For myself, I find that taking time to unplug (whether being outdoors or just reading a good book) is always helpful, as is volunteering to do some good deeds for others. I find it puts my own problems and issues into perspective and I don’t spend as much time “in my head” when I am busy doing something that feels important.
Anonymous
Swimming really helps me.
cbackson
I would definitely check out CBT or DBT focused workbooks or online tutorials. They’re very helpful in training your mind out of anxiety reactions.
Anonymous
What exercises do you do? I have a fair amount of anxiety and I find intense cardio (running — not jogging — and spin are my favs) and yoga to be the best at relieving it and helping me cope with it. Not just any yoga either–physically challenging yoga. I find the mental and breathing skills I learn in yoga to be very useful coping skills for my anxiety.
Also, sometimes just being conscious about my anxiety helps. Like, when I feel anxious, I just stop and ask myself what I’m anxious about and how am I going to deal with that. Acknowledging the reason for my anxiety and making a conscious plan really help my mind refocus.
Must be Tuesday
Yes, physically challenging yoga has really helped me. Both the breathing techniques I’ve learned that I can use at any point in time, and the physical workout I get when I go to class.
SSJD
Laughing! My life is busy, and I have so much to do (4 kids, career, house, husband, etc.). I often feel like TV in the evening is a waste of time, but when I do let myself sit down with my husband and watch something that makes us laugh (together), it’s helpful in terms of making me relax. Also hanging out with friends is helpful. I also find going for walks to be very relaxing and a major way I deal with stress.
It’s interesting to also think about what is NOT helpful. Surfing the internet, while I do it often to kill time, is not generally very relaxing.
Asideralis
I also recommend therapy.
Other than that, I would recommend taking up meditation, exercise, and other forms of self-care. There are many books on how to work through various forms of anxiety.
Talk with your doctor as well, as anxiety can be caused by GI disorders. Or, you may benefit from medication.
Anonymous
I really don’t understand the commenters. The OP clearly stated that she is not asking about medication or therapy but about other options.
Anonymama
But she gave pretty limited information other than that, so I think people were just going down the list of what to do (and mostly what they personally have done) to treat anxiety, which usually is some combination of sleep, exercise, and other self-care (which OP says she already does), and therapy or medication. So it’s not like they’re just pushing meds on her, they are saying, I had issues with this, this is what helped me. (Although some people, like Carrie below, may have been a little out of line).
Carrie....
You are taking great care of yourself already – better than most of us – so good job!
While you seem pretty resistant to our nudges…. please reconsider them. Let me say this… Folks that are in tune with themselves to ask our awesome group for advice about their anxiety, likely need a nudge toward the next step….. therapy or a medicine. Your resistance actually makes me favor a medication for you.
And start trying these mindfulness activities. One a day…..(see links on the bottom of the page)
http://cw.uhs.harvard.edu/mindfulness/index.html
And try to figure out if there are particular triggers for your anxiety, however mild it may be.
You can do it!!
Anonymous
“Your resistance actually makes me favor a medication for you.” This is ridiculous.
AIMS
I have to say – and this is maybe independent of OP and her question – this s*te has an almost reflexive group instinct to recommend therapy and meds. That’s great for some issues, wholly unnecessary for others. I have nothing against therapy or meds if they are actually needed but not everyone needs them. Therapy isn’t always helpful for everyone either.
Rosemagilly
Couldn’t agree more, AIMS.
Emma
+1000
I’m actually a former therapist, and I fully believe that therapy and meds are necessary and essential for many people. But not everyone needs it. It’s normal and healthy to feel a variety of emotions; it doesn’t mean that you need a mental health professional! Why all the second-guessing when someone says, “I don’t think I need therapy?”
HSAL
Yep, absolutely.
Yes
+1,000,000
anonymous OP
Yes, thank you. This sums up my thoughts on the matter. Believe me, I have given this a lot of thought, and I’m capable and self-aware enough to make the best decision for me.
Anon
Not sure of the type of exercise you do, but I’ve found vigorous cardio exercises and weight lifting to help with anxiety.
Senior Attorney
Yes. The sweatier the workout, the less anxious I feel!
Anonymous
What has really helped me (in addition to getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly), is a regular, relaxing set of things I do after work (since most of my anxiety manifests itself at work). I come home, change into comfortable clothes and have a glass of wine or a cup of tea. I will be honest, wine helps more, but if you can’t or don’t want to drink, tea works too. This really signals to my brain that it is time to decompress and I can literally feel my shoulders release tension.
AIMS
What’s the difference (or is there one) between regular Birkenstocks and Betula by Birkenstock sandals?
lucy stone
Betula is a lower priced version of Birkenstocks. I think it’s like Natural Sole for Naturalizers – sort of the Kohl’s version of things.
AIMS
Thanks!
ADHD in girls
Thanks for all of the recommendations for books from last week. I ordered what I think is a great one (and the stories it in were so moving). It was an eye-opener as to how under-treated this is and it was very upsetting to read. Still, it’s better to know and move forward from that.
I haven’t had my daughter evaluated yet (it is in the works outside of school), but many of the problems she’s having sound a lot like combined ADD/ADHD. What I hate is that she lives in a world where she feels that she fails at things, people are always fussing at her, she is always in trouble, and she is often at a loss to understand why this happens. My heart is just broken for her. [And this sounded like some stories in the book I got.] I hope this is the start to being someone who can help her make more sense of things and provide good structure and supports for her (overall, but particularly with regard to this).
la vie en bleu
ok i’m going to write a novel in a reply comment, because it might get moderated. I’m sorry if this is annoying, but your broken heart is breaking my heart! Also, if you want to talk more about this, please feel free to email me at zoradances at the gmail, it’s something I’ve been talking about my whole life basically.
la vie en bleu
I mentioned on the last thread that both my sister and I were diagnosed with AD(H)D as children. It’s true, school was a struggle for a few years for the reasons you have mentioned. meantioned. But we both got on meds, which helped a lot, and my parents did a lot of things that helped, and we haven’t suffered, and neither of us would change a thing about ourselves! Please don’t despair. Your girl is so little! She will have plenty of time to figure out herself and the world and will not hate the world in the long run, I promise.
So here are some things that I feel like were the key things that led to me and my sister being happy, successful adults:
1. My mom and dad supported us when we struggled with things (like sitting still, boring homework, etc), told us that school and other students were wrong if they made us feel bad, or that school wasn’t structured for us, it wasn’t our fault. And also sympathized with how we felt and how it wasn’t really fair sometimes. They also accepted ADD traits at home, ex. didn’t spend hours fighting with us to clean our rooms, if our rooms were basically livable, it was fine. But we did have structured things like certain household chores we did each week, etc, but we used a lot of ADD-friendly techniques to help us get those things done (timers, etc) so that it wasn’t a constant fight, but instead our parents were working *with* us to help us do things that needed to get done. Lots of these tools stayed with me.
2. Meds/Doctors. We had great doctors, medical intervention. It helped me feel like it wasn’t all in my head, as well as actually helping me do things that were hard like sitting still, focusing in school, etc. My sister had a more severe version of ADD, my mom did a lot more intervention with the schools and got a lot of major accomodations that made a huge difference in her academic success. She got untimed SATs, etc.
3. We got involved from a young age in activities we were good at and where our ADD was actually an asset! Music, theater, things where being a leader, multi-tasking, using the creative parts of our brains, using our bodies. We were both extremely talented it turned out in the arts. Being talented and successful in something outside of schoolwork made a huge difference in our self-esteem, we knew we didn’t have to be perfect at everything, we had things we were great at.
4. A few amazing teachers who made school/learning more than just tests. Not all of them, we both had many bleh teachers over the years. But just a few made the hugest difference. Studying history, reading, writing papers instead of multiple choice tests. I was never that great at math, but I had history and English teachers that got me super excited about reading, talking about books, etc. We loved learning, even if we didn’t always love school.
5. As we got older, my mom would have us actually read the books she had read about ADD. The Hartmann books, I remember especially. We spent a lot of time talking and reading about how we weren’t ‘broken’, there was nothing wrong with us, it was just that our brains worked differently than non-ADD people, but figuring out how our brains worked, what we were good at, what would help us compensate for things we didn’t like to do, etc.
6. College (it was so different from HS, I was actually interested in what I was studying so it wasn’t hard at all. I only took meds for really busy weeks or finals.) and pursuing careers we both find fulfilling, and where our ADD way of functioning is an asset. I do event planning. My sister is an operations manager. We are super detail-oriented, can keep track of a lot of moving parts, are great as project managers, etc. We know we are better at the things we do than a lot of other people, and we are happy, have a really close family, and are successful adults (my sister more than me at this point, but that’s unrelated to the ADD).
Also, I can’t remember if anyone told you about CHADD? chadd.org. It’s a national resource on ADD. My mom got their regular magazine, and we would talk about the information all the time. They also have support groups in some areas, maybe you can find local parents to connect with. I feel bad that you are so sad about this! It’s really not a death sentence, everything is going to be okay. I don’t know if you will actually read this ;) but I hope it helps a little bit, sorry again for the novel, I just have lots of feels about this obviously.
LondonLeisureYear
I didn’t get a chance to comment before but as a special education teacher and sister of someone with ADD I strongly suggest that you get her evaluated in the school system in addition to getting her evaluated outside. My parents did not do this. My sister had extremely supportive teachers all throughout her education that allowed her to take walking breaks, to take her tests in chunks of time etc, and was on ADD meds due to a outside school diagnosis. She was fine until her formalized testing and college. Because she never had ADD written on an Individual Education Plan inside school, she was then not able to get the support she needed during tests like the SAT or ACT and struggled through them and college was very hesitant to offer services because she had never needed them before (even though she had it just hadn’t be recorded formally). Having it written on an IEP will allow your daughter get the support she needs in all environments.
la vie en bleu
Oh yes, this. I should have been more specific in pointing this out.
Talk to her teachers and doctors for these first couple years of school to figure out how severe it is and whether an IEP would be relevant. I didn’t need one, but my sister did. We have different manifestations of our ADD. The IEP process was a pain (and my mom *is* a teacher, so she knew what she was doing) but yes, it was very worth it later on, because this stuff works cumulatively.
Charleston
I’m very excited to be going to Charleston for the first time this weekend and I have Friday afternoon free! The rest of the weekend I am meeting up with friends (and a toddler) and I am trying to think of what I should aim to do (or eat/drink!) solo Friday afternoon. I also welcome suggestions for the rest of the weekend! Thanks!
Batgirl
Poogan’s Porch for brunch! Amazing chicken and waffles…and biscuits…and mac and cheese!
Sweet knee
Try a cooking class at Charleston Cooks if you can. Lots of fun.
Anon
I need some advice or perspective I think. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 6 months and things are getting pretty serious. One of my best friends has basically stopped talking to me in the last month or so though. I’ve been making an effort to hang out with her and talk to her but I’m not getting any response. We were really close before I started dating my BF because we were both single/lived close to one other/had a lot in common but now I can barely get a text message conversation going (we used to text all the time).
This makes me really sad but I don’t know what to do. I don’t think I did anything (except probably now I rely on my boyfriend for emotional support more than I rely on her). Any advice?
AIMS
Why don’t you ask her if something is wrong? It’s your best friend. Just text her, “hey is everything okay? I feel like you’re avoiding me these days and I miss you.” Whatever she says, suggest you grab dinner or brunch or whatever to catch up and/or talk, and then make sure you keep that date.
2 Cents
(Talking from personal experience on both sides) When you do meet up, limit the amount of time you talk/reference Boyfriend.
Baconpancakes
Yep. She might be drawing away because she’s happy for you but jealous. Focus on the things you talked about before you started dating your SO, minus the dating scene. Movies/books/gossip about friends/clothes/recipes/work/etc. See if your conversation can pass the Bechdel test.
la vie en bleu
ha, love the Bechdel test reference. ;o)
Especially try to avoid complaining about dude or your relationship. My friend is doing that to me a lot lately (I’m the single one) and I am seriously ready to punch her right now.
Wildkitten
Ask her.
Anonymous
Call her! If she doesn’t answer leave a voicemail “hey singlesusan, would love to catch up. Call me when you have a chance!”
What you did is move on. You became less available, less dependable, and she became less important to you. That’s not wrong, but she also might need some time to adjust. And she may be happy for you but still sad that she’s loosing you.
Terry
Might not be you at all. I just spent a month dealing with some (minor but annoying) health problems which caused me to withdraw from society. But I agree with the suggestion to reach out to her.
Wildkitten
Is there anything a dermatologist can do for blackheads? Or is there a miracle OTC cream? My dermatologist put me on some miracle meds for acne and I don’t know if it’s worth going back to ask about blackheads – it’s not a cheap appointment so I don’t want to go if it’s a total waste of time.
AIMS
You can extract blackheads, some derms will have in-office facials they offer (usually by an independent aesthetician). There are also creams that claim to dissolve them, though I’ve never found anything miraculous. I do find that my clarisonic helps to reduce blackheads/their appearance. But I’d say if you have a lot, first step is to get a thorough facial (you may need a couple of appointments over the course of a few months) and then reduce future ones by regular exfoliation with a clarisonic or some kind of scrub.
Anonattorney
Agree with this 100%. I have done facials and extractions, which are temporary fixes, but nothing really works long term. I have the clarisonic now (thanks to recommendations from all of you) and that definitely reduces their appearance.
Pretty Primadonna
Per a suggestion from Belle of caphillstyle, I purchased the Mario Badescu Silver Powder from Nordstrom, used it as directed to draw up the clogging material, then used a pore strip to remove blackheads on the nose completely. It is the most effective thing I have done yet, but I haven’t ever been to a derm for blackheadst.
M
It’s probably too late for you to see this, but I second the silver powder – I notice a big difference with it, especially when I’m also being diligent with my clarisonic.
Anonymous
not a derm procedure suggestion but glamglow or other mud mask.
Pesh
Paula’s Choice 2% BHA Liquid is awesome for blackheads and large pores. It may take a few days for your skin to get used to it. I didn’t realize how amazing it was until I ran out and suddenly my skin looked dull and my blackheads came back. Now I’m never without it.
Anon
Get thee to a facialist! Go to a spa and even try even just an express facial. They do blackhead extractions and you can get a specialized one. I started doing facials every few months or so and it’s completely changed my skin. I resisted for far too long b/c it seemed like a ridiculous expense but it’s so amazing and now I can’t stop. I’ve always struggled with acne that gets better with BC.
If it were me, I’d save the copay on the derm and try a facial and if I didn’t see significant improvement then go back to the derm. A lot of it can depend on who does it too so find a person that you really like.
Gift ideas for 65th bday
Any ideas for a 65th birthday gift for the woman who has everything? My husband and I are struggling to think of a good gift for his mother. She has expensive taste and great style. I think I am a little resentful that this is my problem, which isn’t helping. My family is just so easy to buy gifts for! I was thinking about a bracelet or a nice scarf/wrap (she wears a lot of both). I was also looking into a monthly flower delivery subscription like H.Bloom (anyone have experience with that?) but also like the idea of being able to hand her something tangible that she can keep to remember her 65th birthday. My own mother suggested more of an “experience” type gift (something we can all do together), which is true to what my mother would prefer, but I sort of feel like my MIL is the kind of person who wants to open a real tangible gift.
tesyaa
Something for the home? Does she spend time in the kitchen? Some kind of cool appliance like an up-to-the minute blender or juicer?
Meg Murry
Is the whole family getting together for her birthday, and has it been awhile since there were family portraits taken? You could arrange for a photographer to come and take a group photo, or if your husband has siblings suggest you each get couple/family photos taken and framed for her.
Does your husband have siblings you can get together with for a group gift? Or are they more useless than H when it comes to these things? My BIL is more of a hinderance than help when it comes to getting his mother gifts, so I understand if that is the case.
Clementine
+1 for family portrait session
Senior Attorney
How about a beautiful expensive vase (Waterford or similar) combined with a monthly flower delivery?
Sydney Bristow
I would love to receive this!
Anonymous
Hermes scarf? (It used to be that they would let you exchange it for one that is more your style if you brought it in with the box, but I’m not sure that’s still the case.)
Tecan
Agreed, if it’s in your budget either an Hermes scarf or Hermes bracelet.
Lobbyist
Harry and David pears
here's a thought....
My very wealthy aunt who has everything and is a bit older really liked it when her son bought her one of those kits to check your DNA and figure out your genetic heritage. Not your typical gift for sure, but it became a family endeavor.
I also try to lean towards the experience gifts for relatives like this. Season tickets to a nearby theater company, for example. Many now offer these flex-passes so you can schedule when you want to go, or at least as a subscriber you can exchange dates easily if you have to pick dates. The photo portrait gift is also an excellent idea.
Only you know if his Mom is a flower lover… but I would be scared to do that for my perfectionist Aunt, as I would worry the flowers weren’t up to her “demands” for quality. And trying to pick out a Hermes scarf… Ugh… And then I would only feel worse when she returned it if it wasn’t her favorite pattern. But that’s my aunt, not your MIL….. sorry for my projection!
SSJD
Two ideas: a tree to be planted in her garden, maybe something that blooms around her birthday. A second idea is a bit more complicated: think of something she loves and give her a new one, plus matching items for her children, with the idea that they will all have the same item. A plant is an idea here too, or something of religious significance, or something for the home. It’s more about the continuity and legacy and the idea of everyone having it and thinking of her as they use it (and less about the actual object itself).
Another idea: donation to a cause that she believes in or supports.
Shayla
Shopping inspiration needed. I need to find a formal dress, preferable with more than just a thin strap, for under $200. It’s for a business/networking annual dinner with other attorneys. I’m having a hard time finding things that aren’t too frumpy… why are strapless gowns still the main style?
Cat
Are you sure that “formal dress” means gown for this event?
Anyway, JCrew has a few knee-length options in the sale section (now an extra 30% off) that are floaty and have either short sleeves, one-shoulder or sleeveless styles. The darker, more sedate colors are lucky sizes only, but may be worth a look.
Shayla
Yes, it’s black tie and previous years (I’ve been) all the women are in floor length gowns. If I hadn’t been before I would question it (and did my first year).
Anonymous
In that case, I’d go classic for something like this. I like this one: http://www.lastcall.com/Vera-Wang-Layered-Cutout-Sleeveless-Gown-Black/prod31730087_cat11210011__/p.prod?icid=&searchType=EndecaDrivenCat&rte=%252Fcategory.service%253FitemId%253Dcat11210011%2526pageSize%253D120%2526No%253D0%2526Ns%253DPCS_SORT%2526refinements%253D73700037%252C73700038%252C73700039%252C&eItemId=prod31730087&cmCat=product
AIMS
That was me. Or maybe this one: http://www.lastcall.com/Tahari-ASL-Gina-Beaded-Mesh-Gown-Black/prod31380118_cat11210011__/p.prod?icid=&searchType=EndecaDrivenCat&rte=%252Fcategory.service%253FitemId%253Dcat11210011%2526pageSize%253D120%2526No%253D0%2526Ns%253DPCS_SORT%2526refinements%253D73700037%252C73700038%252C73700039%252C&eItemId=prod31380118&cmCat=product
Bewitched
I recently bought the “Marina Embellished Lace Gown” at N-strom for $139 and love it! If you search “dresses” “formal” you can sort by price, and there are a fair number of options with thick straps or even cap sleeves.
Sydney Bristow
I have a Marina lace dress. Be sure to size up 1 size.
AttiredAttorney
Check JCPenney of all places. I recently purchased the “Simply Liliana One-Shoulder Side-Slit Gown” in navy for a formal event for $60, and it looked gorgeous. I also loved the “Scarlett Sleeveless Lace-Shoulder Gown ” in a gorgeous dark purple for about $70.
AttiredAttorney
http://www.jcpenney.com/scarlett-sleeveless-lace-shoulder-gown/prod.jump?ppId=pp5005031381&cmvc=JCP|SearchResults|RICHREL&grView=&eventRootCatId=¤tTabCatId=®Id=&rrplacementtype=item_page.dpcontent1
AttiredAttorney
http://www.jcpenney.com/simply-liliana-one-shoulder-side-slit-gown/prod.jump?ppId=pp5004861128&selectedSKUId=22979060067&selectedLotId=2297906&ppId=pp5004861128&fromBag=true
CTAtty
I’ve had good luck at Nordstrom, which is where I’ve bought my non-strapless gowns two years in a row for a client’s black tie fundraiser.
Out of Place Engineer
Hi hive! I am looking for an end of year recommendation. My company has partnered with a high school in a disadvantaged area. We have had four high school students working in our department for the school year. In exchange for the students doing clerical-type work once/week, we pay part of their tuition.
I was paired up with the freshman. She really had no skills: had never used a computer before, her written communication was atrocious. She didn’t know to take notes so that she could repeat tasks and was very shy & overwhelmed in a business environment. I have spent a LOT of time mentoring her. Her written communication has improved. I found tasks that were appropriate for her. She is still very reserved and not good with the small talk.
The school year is coming to an end and next week will be her last day here. I’m struggling with an appropriate end of year recognition. I am going to give her a card with a note on how much she has grown, etc. Does anyone have a good idea for an inspiring book? Some token or something? Thanks!
Anonymous
Are there program guidelines? I’d be inclined towards an Amazon gift card but not sure if that’s permitted. If not Lean In could be good, or Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office.
Wildkitten
I love these books but think they are not appropriate for a high school freshman.
Meg Murry
Is she currently a high school freshman, or a recent graduate from the high school and college freshman? If college, what about a gift card to the college bookstore. Disadvantaged students probably need help with “stuff” more than any token gifts. I would be concerned about giving a book like Lean In or NGDGTCO as it could read too critical to her at this point.
If you wanted to do a token book, “Oh the Places You’ll Go” is a popular one. Or what about nice office supplies (pretty pens, post-its or tape flags, nice pencil pouch, maybe a moleskine type of notebook)? That would be useful to a student as well as kind – and who doesn’t love pretty pens and a nice notebook/journal?
Out of Place Engineer
She is a high school freshman — 15 years old.
Senior Attorney
For a high school freshman, how about “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” by Dr. Seuss: “You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.”
ETA: Haha jinx, Meg Murry!!
Anonymous
Ugh I hated getting this. Like, why? It’s juvenile and completely useless.
Senior Attorney
Um, because it’s fun? And inspiring?
Obviously not everybody’s cup of tea, but I do think it’s a classic for a reason.
anon
I agree that the book is cute for certain older grads, but I’d worry that it would come off as patronizing to someone who may not have college on the horizon or might not feel like there are a lot of exciting options in front of her.
Maybe there’s just something about a kids’ book for someone who quote, began the program with “no skills.” Just seems like it could be misconstrued.
I totally agree with MJ’s post, and if you want to do something material, college bookstore giftcard. Even just the expectation that she’ll need it in the future will send a strong message.
Baconpancakes
“Oh the places you’ll go” is really more of a graduation gift, though.
If she was a college freshman, I’d recommend giving her The Defining Decade, but since she’s a high school freshman, I’d focus on helping her get into college – SAT prep, etc, and echoing MJ below, checking in on her, offering to be a professional mentor, and helping her get in the mindset of: “You are 100% capable of being professional and successful. Let’s see what we should do to help you figure out where you want to go, and get you there.”
MJ
Honestly, the best gift you could give her would be (1) to continue to be in her life and (2) an SAT prep book or a book that surveys all the different colleges. She needs your help to continue to grow and dream big. A gift certificate to Starbucks will not help her nearly as much as you sitting her down and saying, “I will be a reference for you in the future. I will help you with jobstuff as you look for new internships. I am really proud of how far you have come and I can’t wait to see where you go.”
Pesh
+100. Tell her you see her potential and you want help her reach that potential. On her last day, set up a date/time for you two to get together again. So great that you’ve been such a great mentor to her, kudos to you!
anon
this is an excellent idea. please do this.
LilyS
Seconded. Although I was by no means disadvantaged while growing up, neither of my parents did traditional corporate jobs and I’d have loved to be able to talk to someone in that world.
Meg Murry
Having thought about this more, and the lessons I learned from mentoring a local high school student who was a first generation college student, other things you could help with that would be more important than a gift:
-help her set up a “professional” sounding gmail account, since chances are she’s using “qtpie152” or some other nonsense email address if she has one at all, and then email her there regularly – set a calendar item for you to email her at least once a month, even if its only “hey, thinking of you, hope school is going ok.” kind of thing and she never emails back
-help her setup a Google Voice number and show her how to change it to forward to her current cell phone number. The student I was mentoring relied pretty much only on text messages, but she was on pay-as-you go plans, and if use up all your minutes and don’t re-up within a short time span (like 30 or 45 days) you lose the number. I had the hardest time keeping track of her, because all of a sudden, I’d get no responses and only voicemail for 2 weeks, and then “this number has been disconnected”. A month later I’d get a text from a number I didn’t know, and it would be her – and then a six weeks later, that number wouldn’t work either. If she’s from a truly disadvantaged area, there is also a high possibility her family moves fairly often depending on the current income level, so it could be hard to track her down (other than through the school) if you don’t establish ways to keep in touch, and teach her that she needs a way to maintain contact info if she wants jobs/internships in the future.
And since I didn’t say it before – good for you for teaching her so much! So many people would just roll their eyes and task her with something like making photocopies or shredding and not teach her anything.
Out of Place Engineer
Thank you all for the suggestions! She is a high school freshman, so just turned 15 years old this spring. It has been a struggle at times, just because we are a near-paperless environment, so there isn’t traditional filing or filler work that needs to be done. (I have created so much standardized work documentation this year — which isn’t a bad thing!) It has been learning experience just to know what she can and can’t do.
I will definitely make sure that she has my contact info & make myself available for references or help. I love the suggestion for the gmail/google voice accounts and checking in on her. And maybe a pretty journal.
Frannie
I used to teach and I loved giving kids the book “Seven Habits of Highly Successful Teens.” A really nice day planner is also a good option.
Anon for this
Would it be super weird to have a pair of dumbbells in my office? I have my own office with a door and I wouldn’t leave them laying out, but I wonder if I might do some reps during the day… am I crazy?
Wildkitten
Lots of people do this, especially if you can close your door and nobody sees you do it.
Anon
What do they do when someone knocks on their door? Quickly hide the weights and then open the door, slightly breathless and red-faced? Because that seems…odd.
Killer Kitten Heels
The folks I know who do this keep, like, 5 lb. dumbbells in the office and just do light reps intermittently throughout the day, they don’t really do any kind of hardcore red-faced breathless workouts.
Anonymous
I don’t think so. Someone in my office has a stair stepper thing.
Advice needed
I recently applied for a job in another city. I have been through two rounds of interviews and have been told I am a top candidate for the position. However, my apartment lease ends in a few weeks, and I need to know very soon whether I need to sign another year-long lease. Would it be inappropriate for me to follow up with my interviewers and explain to them my situation? If I am offered the job in the next few weeks, I will likely take it; if not, I will have to sign another lease, and will probably turn down the job if it is offered to me after I have signed another lease. (I live in NYC and finding a year-long subletter is unlikely).
Thank you in advance.
AIMS
I think its pretty standard to follow up if you get another job offer, but not sure that works the same way with a lease. I’d try two other things first: 1) see if you extend your current lease one month to sort this out (its not uncommon) and 2) follow up more generally in a week or two to see if they’ve made a decision or need any additional info.
rosie
I would not explain the housing situation to your interviewers. I think it could make them question your interest in the job–you would move for the job, but only if the timing happened to work out (which might be true, but you don’t want to tell them that). I think AIMS’s suggestions about going month-to-month for a while, even if your rent goes up a bit, and then follow up without mentioning the housing issue.
blazer/jacket recs
I typically prefer a jacket to a cardigan, especially in the summer. I get a ton of wear out of my great black and navy blazers, one white and navy striped moto jacket that I wear ALL the time, and a light chambray-ish jacket. What would be some other jackets to add into my wardrobe? I’m sort of at a loss of what would be the next great color or style to add in. I picked up a floral print moto jacket from the Piperlime sale, but when I got it in person the colors were hideous and it was like a Miami grandma jacket. Color suggestions or actual jacket suggestions welcome! I did peruse the “summer blazer” post a while ago, but I’d love to hear what colors/styles people get the most wear out of.
Susie
A summer tweed, and a few knit blazers in some flattering jewel tones (for example: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/olivia-moon-three-quarter-sleeve-knit-blazer/3209652?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=2375500&fashionColor=&resultback=228)
Anonymous
Light pink! It works so well with so much: black, navy, green, bright colors.
blazer/jacket recs
I always think I look bad in pink, but maybe there is a flattering shade for me out there. Definitely could do jewel tone, that’s half my wardrobe anyway! I’m obsessed with botanical prints, but I don’t know if that’s too spring-specific.