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I get a lot of pitches that go in one ear and out the other, but for some reason this jewelry/wearable tech hybrid caught my attention. Like a Fitbit, it tracks your steps, but it also helps you moderate your breathing (before an important presentation, for example), tracks your sleep, your fertility cycle, and gives you alarms for things like waking up and standing up. And it looks pretty as a necklace, a bracelet, a clip, or more. Nothing new here, but it's nice to see so many things for women in one device — and it's only $119. Commenters on the morning thread were talking about the Misfit tracker — ladies, which are your favorites? Bellabeat Leaf
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Admin Q: For those of you familiar with the tech issues on both sites, how many problems on Corporette are also occurring on CorporetteMoms? Thank you guys in advance!
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Pilates in Atlanta
Recommendations for Pilates classes in Atlanta? Work downtown and live in Dunwoody area.
AttiredAttorney
Try classpass to try out a bunch of different pilates studios all over the city for just $79. If you email me (handle at g mail) I can send you a referral link. If you really just want to try one gym, check Urban Body. Their studio is off of Ponce near the Beltline and wouldn’t be too terribly inconvenient coming to/from the office.
Sydney Bristow
I’ve been debating getting a fitness tracker but I fear that it would end up like all the other gadgets I’ve bought, use for awhile, and then wind up in a junk drawer. Not to mention, I’ve been reading this book called Future Crimes and there is a lot of discussion about how all the devices we connect to the internet can be hacked and what kind of information is going where and I’m a little freaked out. The book is really interesting and I recommend it, but beware that its a little creepy. Sort of like a criminal non-fiction version of The Circle.
AMB
I wear a fitbit (the one that can be clipped into my shirt) but had an interesting discussion at a party last week where people were raising the idea of insurance companies using the information to raise rates on those not sufficiently active, etc. Scary ideas! (Tho I like that it encourages me to go and move more so will keep wearing it at least for now).
Sydney Bristow
That is not so out there. Car insurance companies already offer discounts for people who are willing to allow trackers on their cars. Health insurance rates tied to fitness trackers can’t be far off.
HSAL
Now I really want to read that book.
I bought a tracker, but it was mainly helpful to me to see how few steps I actually take. I would have called myself lightly active, but man am I not. 2k-3k was a pretty normal range on a regular workday. Even when I made a point of taking a 20-25 minute walk (and some extra laps around the office) I struggled to get more than 6k. I started getting round ligament pain during long walks, so I’ve stopped wearing it entirely because it just makes me feel guilty. But I am glad I bought it to see just how much more I should be moving every day.
Shopaholic
My iPhone tracks steps and I’m assuming it’s accurate but I agree – I’m no where close to 10K steps on a normal day. I don’t know how people meet that goal on a daily basis. The only days where I’m around 10K is where I’m taking a long walk (like over an hour) on a weekend or something
Anonymous
I meet it by walking to and from public transit on my commute, walking to pick up lunch, and either walking to do errands or a brief walk after dinner.
anyanony
Yes, I usually get above 15,000 on a normal work day with commuting by public transit and a short lunch hour walk, plus after dinner walk.
Bonnie
Since I commute using public transportation, I get about 5,000 steps just getting to and from work.
Maddie Ross
I wear a FitBit and have a tracker on my iPhone and I’d say the iPhone is relatively accurate, so long as you are actually carrying it on you every step – it does not track steps as well if it’s in a purse or a bag. If you carry in your hand or a pocket (like most men do) it closely approximates what’s on your FitBit (because it’s all based on an internal gyroscope essentially in both devices).
I like my FitBit and as noted above, it was super surprising to me how few steps a day I actually take.
I’ve seen the stories about using FitBits for both insurance purposes and to prove people are not as injured as they claim in PI cases. Honestly, with the technology in our phones, it may not be something we can really avoid.
NYNY
I use my phone app, as well, but I know that I don’t track all my steps on it. When I walk down the hall to the other end of the office to meet with someone (which is a full city block, and which I do 3-4 roundtrips/day), I don’t bring my phone, for example. My commute, lunchtime, and after work errands put me around 5-6K steps/day. I’d love to boost it, but I’m not sure how to, realistically.
AIMS
I have a about a half a mile walk to the subway and back most days and I tend to go for a walk to get coffee or lunch most days. Between that, taking the stairs when possible, walking the dog and running around the office, I can usually get about 8,000 steps according to my phone. If I get off a subway stop or two early or take the dog for a longer walk, I’ll usually end up at 10,000 steps before I even realize it. I do think my numbers would be much lower if I drove to work.
ETA: I don’t carry my phone everywhere so I assume my actual numbers might be a little higher but I like to round down with things like this because I think it’s easy to overestimate how “good” you’re being and vice versa (as with calories or sales tax).
anyanony
Am I the only one who carries my phone “all the time”? Even to a meeting on my floor.
I guess I’m paranoid but after 9/11 and with worry about earthquakes and things like that – I want to have my phone on me if something happens so I carry it everywhere.
EBWhite
I manage to get my steps by walking to work – 45 min each way. Even then, I’m only at 12,000! WTF
anonsg
I get almost 10K a day if I go shopping or sightseeing. The other day I went to two malls and shopped all day and got over 10K. I get over 5000 if I go out for lunch (and sometimes if I walk even farther I get the 10K), otherwise my commute walking gets me around 3000 daily. My tracker isn’t the best because it’s on my phone (samsung) and I don’t carry it with me all the time (like if I walk around the office, or around my apartment, grab the mail, etc.), but I like that it play a nice celebratory sound when I hit 10K (and it notifies you at 5K).
Anonymous
I walk to/from work, 10,000 steps easy
I'm Just Me
I made a conscious effort to get 10k steps every day in 2014 and am trying for an average of 11k steps in 2015 (I missed a day when I had a stomach virus). 2014 was an interesting journey in will and determination. There were evenings when I ended up going out at bed time to take a loop around the block to get the steps in, but I made it and I’m very happy I did. The fitbit made me aware of my activity level. Now the steps are mostly habit. I walk around the parking lot while waiting for my commuter bus in the morning, I walk more at work instead of IM’ing or emailing. I walk at lunch time (grabbing a coworker so we can chat and walk), I walk after dinner (grabbing my dh so we can walk and chat), I park further away at plazas and the at the gym. I take the stairs, something I could not physically accomplish in 2012/2013 but can easily do now. On weekends I get up and walk 4 miles before coffee. It’s challenging, but I’ve actually learned a lot about myself in doing this.
Frustrated
I’m feeling a bit frustrated today and need a little advice. Has anybody figured out a way to tactfully tell a male colleague that you are not an assistant?
I’m a third year female associate and one of my male colleagues (also an associate, but senior to me) continuously asks me to do menial tasks and I’m becoming increasingly frustrated. When I say he asks me to do menial tasks, I mean that frequently the requests are things like asking me to copy and paste text from a pdf into a word document or create cover pages for presentations, etc. In the past I’ve tried to turn down certain requests by explaining I’m too busy with certain (substantive!) projects given to me by the partners I work for but that generally only works to stop the immediate request or it simply has the effect of him telling me its not urgent.
I don’t want to come across like I’m not a team player or that I’m unwilling to lend a hand if somebody is slammed, but I also can’t help but feeling like 1) he would not ask this of me if I was a male associate,and 2) it often takes him more time to email me the stupid request than it would take for him to just do it. Copying and pasting from documents is not the type of work that I went to law school for or the type of work that is going to allow me to advance in my career. I don’t believe the partners I work for have any knowledge that he is asking me to do this type of work, but I also realize that broaching this subject either with the associate or with a partner can be delicate.
Has anybody encountered this situation and successfully navigated through it? Any advice?
Anonymous
I just say “sure! I’ll have my secretary do that” if it’s secretarial work, of if it needs atty input I just have her do it, review it, and forward.
Anonymous
This. He is probably not giving it to his secretary because she’s overloaded, so the idea is that you’ll give it to yours.
I really think you need to get over this though–“Copying and pasting from documents is not the type of work that I went to law school for”–copy/paste from base forms and tailor to the current one is a pretty standard lawyer task.
Frustrated
Just to clarify, when I say he’s asking me to copy and paste I mean literally there is only copying and pasting the questions from a pdf into a word document so that he can then draft the substantive responses to the questions. It is not copy and paste and then tweak or copy and paste and then I should begin drafting the substantive responses for him to review later (even though I’ve offered to do that portion of the task). I think that is actually why the specific asks bother me the most – because I’m only being involved for the menial tasks not the task as a whole.
anon-oh-no
this is like creating a shell answer for a complaint you were served with. Sure, an assistant should create the shell, but I almost always give it to the associate to deal with, assuming the associate will give it to his/her assistant, and then check it over when the assistant is done.
And in response to Mpls below, unless he is giving you this “menial” work on cases you have nothing to do with, I would NOT do as she suggests — for the all reasons I, and many others, have suggested.
Ellen
Yay! Coffee Break! I totaly love this tracker — it is so much cuter then my Fitbit!!! I will have to see if my expense’s for this month will ALLOW me to spend this on an item I already have. Plus, my Iphone 6 has a built in tracker and I downloaded an app called BREEZE that also track’s me and I compare them already. But this is an item of clotheing, I will argue, so mabye the manageing partner will reimburse me for it! I know he will say no, but if you do NOT ask, you will NOT get. FOOEY!
As for the OP, I would realy give it to him for being a male schovinist pig. He is treating you as a secretary, with 2 years of schooling, not as a JD, duly admitted after 4 years of college and 3 of law school and a bar exam also! FOOEY on him. Men like that should be led to the toilet and have their head’s washed in the bowl for such nastyness. DOUBEL FOOOEY! These day’s he can do his own typing also! I do most all of my OWN pleeding’s b/c Lynn is kind of sloppy and slow, and I can bang out so many pleeding’s just by calling up an old one, and doieng a global “find and replace”. All I do is find the name, then the date, then the injury and then the claim #. Once I do that, everything else is the same.
And inthe breif’s, all I do is make one new paragraph, with the fact’s, then use the same legal boiler plate, citing all of the judges’ cases back to him. And, so that he sees that I know the latest cases, I just add those up front! YAY! b/c he think’s I study the case law when all I do is copy his case’s! Lynn does proofeing for me to make sure I do NOT submit any thing wrong, but most of the time she just stare’s at Mason. Suposedly he is good in bed –like I care? FOOEY! At least she is happy, tho. YAY for HER, but I want my OWN guy who can satifsy me and do more by discussing the issue’s of the day. That is why I read the NY Times EVERY day to keep up on thing’s. I also have an ON LINE supscription so that I can pull article’s to show the manageing partner. I am glad for teck, b/c I can do most everyting on my iphone, or Ipad if I do NOT have my Macbook with me. YAY!!!!!!
CJ
You tell those chauvinistic guys off for us, Ellen! It is clear that you seem to have a legal case management system that really works for you, in the office, that is. Now your challenge is to find a guy at least as smart as you are (with money) who will marry you and carry you off to his castle (perhaps in Chappaqua), where you will be able to live happily after! To ensure success here, I suggest you double your mileage on your tracking devices so that your tuchus will be of marriageable size by Labor Day, so that you can get married to this smart, rich guy before year-end, and be able to have your first born by next Labor Day! YAY!!!!
Mpls
Can you redirect him? “Oh, I usually have Legal Assistant Jerry do that for me. He probably has time to help you out.” That way you are not just telling him no, but giving him a solution to his problem. Assuming such a person exists.
Anonymous
I feel like these types of situations get discussed very regularly and usually the recommended course of action is to suck it up. I am sorry that you are dealing with this but I really don’t think that it’s about your gender, it’s really about seniority. It doesn’t make it right but I am not sure that there is anything you can do to resolve this without jeopardizing your career growth prospects.
anon
I have encountered this problem and I just refuse to do it. I have literally said “I am not your secretary.” One particularly difficult more senior associate complained to the partners and they took my side and told him that they did not pay me my salary to do secretarial work and that is why we have secretaries. I guess it is risky because you have to be fairly certain that the partners will back you up if he complains. In my case, it made him look bad for complaining I wouldn’t do something that he shouldn’t have asked me to do anyway.
wow
from another perspective if I did this I can see it having really negative consequences for my review. At my firm I don’t think I would be backed up– a senior associate is senior and if I Can save their time, that’s what I’m there for. When I’m asked to do secretarial work I just suck it up and do it. Male associates get this too. I think it’s just part of being junior.
mascot
How big is your office and how much administrative support do you have? Can you just pass the task along to an admin? Could part of it be that he doesn’t have the technical skills to do some of this? (I know, that is frustrating). Sometimes it also can be that the senior person doesn’t want to track down the admin to get it done and would rather delegate that task to you. They don’t want you to do it as much as they want you to make sure it gets done.
If the answer is that the office is small and you don’t have sufficient support, then you may have to do some tasks that seem menial because you are the cheapest person to do so. Are you getting to bill your time for these tasks? There will always be some tasks that you have to do that you can’t bill for. But, if these are really adding up, you may want to track your time and bring it to a partner’s attention. Approach it as time is being written off/lost because you can’t bill for these tasks. Then explore if there are other people that can do it.
Carrie M
Mascot’s questions were what came to mind first for me. When I was asked to do this kind of thing as a junior associate, I usually redirected it to a legal assistant or secretary, assuming there was one available. If there wasn’t one available, then I just did it. But I always made clear that I did (or tried to) redirect it.
And +1 on the technical skills issue. I often have to do things that are simple for me, but seem difficult to more senior attorneys who aren’t as tech savvy.
Another idea to leverage the situation and show him you can add value on substantive issues – if you would want to work more with this attorney, could you say something like: I read through that complaint that you sent for X case. I am really interested in working on some substantive aspects of the case [emphasis on substantive]. Can you keep me in mind for the case team as the case progresses?
Bonnie
A senior associate does have the right to give you work. I understand that you didn’t go to law school to do menial work but much of the work done by junior associates isn’t real legal work. I’d broach this carefully.
Anonymous
I’m not saying this isn’t a sexist thing, because it very well might be, but at my large firm it’s very common for senior associates of all genders to give menial tasks to junior associates of all genders, with the understanding that the junior associate will delegate to a paralegal or assistant, supervise the work, and return it to the senior associate. I would respond by saying “I will ask Jane Paralegal [or Joe Assistant] to do this and get it back to you by __.”
January
Adding to the chorus – when I was a first year, a fifth year told me that when someone like him asked me to do something, he isn’t necessarily asking me to complete the task. He is asking me to see that it gets done, but he doesn’t particularly care whether I am literally doing whatever it is . That might be the case here (especially with things like copy PDF text into a Word document – if you are at a large firm, there are likely other people in the firm who are more equipped to handle this task than you are).
NYC
I’ve had this problem before with more senior associates (I’m a mid-level now so it’s particularly annoying). I usually pass it off to the appropriate person (my assistant or our copy department or a more junior associate, as applicable) and let the more senior associate know that I have done so (either by copying the senior associate on the email request or telling him “sure, I’ll have X do that”). If you do that enough, sometimes the requests stop. (Although occasionally the senior associate will explain that there is a reason that you specifically were asked to do it, because it needs to be more precise/etc.). It should go without saying that if you pass off a task, you are responsible for checking it over before handing it in.
Also, please note that sometimes there is a legitimate reason a more senior associate will ask you to handle a menial task instead of asking the more junior associate/assistant/copy department him or herself — for example, where a detailed explanation needs to be given to the assistant/copy department and/or there may be follow-up questions. So explaining it it you quickly and then having you handle writing out the longer instructions and managing the process is actually saving the senior associate time (and that should be your time and not his, because you are cheaper). In this circumstance the senior associate is actually asking you to manage, not do the work yourself. It doesn’t sound like that’s what’s happening here, but I’d be careful pushing back where that is the case. Managing projects handled by staff is part of your job.
Edited to add that I am female, but I really don’t think this has anything to do with gender. My male colleagues also get asked to do this stuff. It’s based on the senior associate’s style, not who they’re asking (in my experience).
anon-oh-no
this is just him asking you to do stuff so it gets done — as in, I’m handing this task off to you, please see that it gets done. it doesn’t matter if you do it or have someone else do it, but own it and make sure it gets done right.
attys more senior to you do this for two main reasons: (1) you have a lower billing rate and even the time it takes to see that it gets done should not be billed at my rate; and (2) as a junior associate, you need to learn all of the various things that go in to getting a brief done, finishing a deal, preparing an opening statement etc., including the “menial” tasks, so you know what needs to get done next time you are the one delegating work.
TBK
This has nothing to do with him being male. It has to do with him being a more senior associate. As others here have said, have your secretary do it. Or just do it. I had a (female) associate who kept me around until 3:00 or 4:00am regularly “just in case” she needed something — and “something” usually was making copies or picking up dinner. You do ALL KINDS of sh—t you never went to law school for when you’re a junior associate.
ace
Preach.
Jen
Eh, I think this depends on where you are. I’m in BigLaw in LA, and this is not the way we operate. Senior associates and partners are scolded for doing this to people when they can use other resources. Certainly, where a junior or midlevel needs to supervise a task, that’s fine, but asking you to copy and paste things or make copies? That’s something their secretary can and should do.
And also, I disagree that this is definitely not about gender. I have had some male senior associates pass this kind of stuff off to me when there is a more junior male associate below me, and that’s not OK. So I would say that this depends on the situation, but I think one can and should speak up if what’s going on is truly out of line.
Anon2
Picking up dinner for a senior associate sounds ridiculous – do people actually ask junior associates to do this? I’m currently a mid-level in biglaw and actually had a very similar situation. In my case, the offending senior associate actually was a bit sexist and did not ask the other first year in my group (who was a guy) to do these types of tasks. In my case, I initially tried to pass it off to my secretary but called out specifically for doing so and was told that I specifically should be doing the menial tasks, which were printing documents and sending out fed ex packages. The reason I was so annoyed was bc I wasn’t working on his deals/transactions at all. If I had been, I would be happy to do the requested tasks but it was literally random print jobs and sending out packages. I ended up slowly just ignoring his requests or take a really long time to respond as he would randomly email me in the middle of the day or leave requests in my mailbox. It didn’t completely stop but I switched firms so I didn’t have to deal with it anymore.
(Former) Clueless Summer
Adding to everyone’s advice but yes, this happens all the time to me (I am at a similar level). I generally expect that a request like that means that the associate/partner wants ME to review a staff or student’s work. Being in Canada, we have articling students (what would be a first year associate in the US) and often menial work is done by them because their work doesn’t always get billed. Some partners and senior associates just don’t want to deal with instructing the student, reviewing the product, etc. They want me to do that. Same thing with assistants – either because they don’t want to deal with instructions/review, or because their assistance is busy/bad. It is much, much easier for a senior associate to say “Junior, get me this brief” rather than “Student, print 3 copies of this brief, which I’ve attached, double-sided, bound with green covers, and charge it to X file and bring it to my office by 5pm”. As a junior, I know (or should know) what they want and I can (and should) take care of getting it right at a lower billable rate.
Lobbyist
I think you should do it. I don’t work in BigLaw, I am a lawyer/supervisor and oversee a recent law school grad who thinks he should only do “substantive” work, and doesn’t understand that doing menial work, well, without complaint or attitude, is an important part of the job. At the risk of getting all old-lady on you, I think it’s a generational thing and it drives me crazy. At my office we are small, we are a team, I clean the microwave and move boxes when necessary and expect everyone else do so so too.
Another associate
I have a few male partners who do this to me, which is somewhat different than an associate, but I either handle it one of two ways: 1) Just immediately forward to my assistant to complete it, or 2) do it, and find a way to bill for it. Billing is billing. But I can commiserate and its annoying being treated like that.
Interview Attire ?
Hi all. I know these questions have been discussed to death, and yes, I read the posts on these topics, but I would like current (not from 2012) input. I’m interviewing for an associate position in a small, southwestern city at a law firm of about 30 across two offices (this is relatively large for our area). This city is notoriously casual. Is a tailored, suiting-material sheath dress with matching suit jacket formal enough? Do I have to wear hose? Does it have to be black, or is navy or even grey alright? I am much more comfortable in the dress/jacket than skirt/top/jacket, and I think it shows in my confidence level. Any advice appreciated!
AIMS
Yes, and I’d say navy or dark gray is better. And I’d wear nude for you hose just to be safe. Get a nice pair that won’t look like anything. The idea is not to look like you’re wearing them or not.
mascot
I think a conservative dress/jacket suit in grey is fine. I’d wear stockings. Sheer, nude for you stockings aren’t that hot for the short time you are in them. Law firm interviews warrant formal business dress and aren’t a place to take a risk. You have plenty of time after you get the job to rock the bare legs.
Meg Murry
Prefacing to say – I am not a lawyer, but when you say “southwestern city” – if you mean somewhere like Phoenix where it is going to be 113 degrees today I would aim for a dress or shirt and skirt where you feel comfortable taking off the jacket if everyone is really casual – so if possible, a dress or blouse with short sleeves. I agree you should put on an outfit that gives you confidence – but I myself would not be confident having to keep on a jacket in 100 degree weather. I know it will be air conditioned in the building, but you will still have to walk through parking lots and it may not be air conditioned to 40° less than the outdoor temperature in the building.
NYC for a frequent visitor
I’m heading to NYC this summer for a few days and want to mix up my visit a bit. I’m staying in Chelsea. I’ve been probably 15 times so I’ve done most of the usual touristy stuff, but I could use the hive’s recs on a few things.
Museums
I’ve been to the Met, MOMA, and Guggenheim. If I only have time for one, should I do the Whitney, The Morgan, or The Frick? Assume I will be back and eventually see all of them. I’m leaning toward the Whitney because of the recent opening, but the others also intrigue me.
Dining
This is where I’m totally open. I don’t like upscale/foodie places but pretty much love all food otherwise, especially international fare (I can get New American anywhere). Not into fighting for reservations. Really enjoyed ABC Kitchen and Red Farm on recent visits but would be happy to go to less trendy places this time around.
Cafes
I love a good cafe. Can anyone recommend a favorite or two in the West Village/Chelsea area? Think somewhere I can spend an afternoon journaling and people-watching.
Books/Bookstores
Already been to Strand and will surely go back, but can anyone recommend any other beloved independent bookstores?
Parks and Gardens
Been to High Line and Central Park. Is the Brooklyn Botanical Garden worth a visit? Any other special parks you’d recommend?
Markets
I’ve heard good things about the Union Square Greenmarket. Is it worth planning a visit to? Been to Brooklyn Flea but would love something else similar.
Thanks so much!
jumpingjack
From another frequent visitor – I think the Tenement Museum in the LES is fascinating. And while you’re in that neighborhood, Katz’s Deli has stupendously good corned beef and pastrami and is a fun experience. I also enjoy walking tours. You can find them online and do it yourself, but I think it’s more interesting to do it with a guide – I’ve had good luck with Big Onion tours.
OP
Thank you for the recs! Big Onion and the Tenement Museum both look right up my alley!
AIMS
Russ and Daughters Cafe is another good lunch option in the neighborhood, esp. if you like lox. And you can stop by and visit Economy Candy for any candy you can imagine. Do not plan to go to Clinton Street Baking Company though unless you are willing to wait 2 hours for pancakes.
jumpingjack
Russ and Daughters, yes! And they now have the sit down restaurant too, though it was packed the one time I tried to go.
AIMS
I love the Frick but I also love impressionists generally so it’s a matter of what you’re more into, I think.
I’d throw in Neue Gallery to your “visit eventually” list, too, btw.
For bookstores, I also really love the Housing Works Bookstore Cafe on Crosby St.. If you’re into mysteries, there are a number of fantastic shops that specialize in this genre.
Parks: one of my all time faves is the Conservatory Garden on 5th ave. and 105th. It’s part of Central Park but totally separate. It’s like stepping into My Secret Garden. The Bronx Botanical Garden is also great, and there’s an awesome Frida Kahlo exhibit happening now.
Union Sq. Greenmarket is fun but what do you want to get out of it? It’s mostly just veggies and other produce, some flowers, etc. Unless you want to cook your own meal, it can be kind of much ado about nothing. That said, the market is there on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays so if you’re in the area, it might be nice to walk through on your way to some shopping or lunch.
Sydney Bristow
I’ll second the Neue Gallery.
AIMS
Forgot dining: if you go to the Whitney, get some tacos from Los Tacos No. 1 at Chelsea Market nearby. Or just get some even if you don’t go. This might satisfy your “market” craving as well. Since you’re staying in Chelsea, Tia Pol has good tapas. I like Cafe Habana in Nolita for Latin/Cuban (and the drinks!). There’s all sorts of yummy Korean food along 32nd Street, ABC Cocina is also great (since you liked ABC Kitchen), if you want ramen (assuming it’s not 90 degrees and humid), NYC is the place to have some (I really like Bassanova Ramen on Mott St.) … Sigiri on 1st Ave. and 6th street has really great Sri Lankan food. Definitely not on the foodie radar, but so delicious. You could also find some great Indian in this area, as well as in the east 20s and further uptown (for something easy with locations throughout the city, Brick Lane Curry House is very good; I also like Moti Mahal Delux in the east 60s and Om in the east 80s). If there is anything else specific that you’re interested in or a specific area, post and I’m sure you’ll get more suggestions.
OP
This is amazing, and I am bookmarking all of it. THANK YOU.
OP
Thanks so much. These are awesome ideas and will keep me busy for my next three visits, easily! Really appreciate it.
Celia
Go to the Frick! Flaming June is on loan from Puerto Rico and you might never have another chance to see her in person.
Go to the Neue Galerie! There’s a show on Russian Post-Impressionists that looks amazing. Kandinsky is the star.
A
I went to Kin Shop last week in the West Village last week and enjoyed it. It’s contemporary Thai and is apparently some guy who was on Top Chef’s restaurant, but it was pretty low key. They had an awesome sundae with kefir lime ice cream, bananas, peanuts, coconut milk, etc.
Also, I would recommend stopping at Taim in the West Village, ordering a bunch of things, and then take them to Washington Square Park or another park to people watch. You can’t really eat there, it’s too small and there are always a million people waiting for their order, but it has some awesome falafel and sabich – probably some of the best I’ve ever had.
Anonymous
Also check out Turnstile Tours, especially the food carts tour. Delicious food, history, and current sociopolitical information. So cool, even as a native New Yorker.
waffles
For something different, but casual, check out Go Go Japanese Curry! On W 38th just E of 8th Ave. I have never had anything like it… so good!!
NYC
I like the Bronx botanical garden the best and it’s a side of the city you normally won’t see. For international fare I like Bodhi tree in the village and for Indian Dhaba in Murray Hill.
Anonymous
A friend told me his mother died a few weeks ago (not suddenly, but I did not know she was sick). I’m struggling to figure out to how to respond appropriately. Simply saying “I’m so sorry for your loss” seems like not enough, but everything else I can think of to say sounds cheesy. Is there anything I can offer to do for him? We are not super tight, as evidenced by the fact that he didn’t fill me in on her illness, but we have stayed in regular touch for almost 15 years since college (where we last hung out regularly) and he came to our destination wedding and has acknowledged all our major life milestones and at this point I think of him as one of my closest college friends since I’ve lost touch with so many others and he has always shown up for me.
Blonde Lawyer
Ask if donations are being made in her name somewhere so you can contribute. If honest, say you wish you had known as you would have attended the services. If you knew her, include a memorable story.
jumpingjack
I just lost my mother two months ago, and these are all excellent ideas. I was very touched by people who did all of these (especially memorable stories, but that’s also the hardest). Even a card is a very thoughtful thing to do.
In addition to this, it’s nice to just call to say hi a few weeks after she’s passed, and maybe a couple of months after that. Some people have a hard time when things calm down and they’re expected to go back to their everyday lives, it may be nice for him to hear from a friend then. Sheryl Sandberg’s post 30 days after her husband passed was beautiful, and it gave good advice for how to talk to someone who has just experienced loss.
jumpingjack
Here is her post: https://www.facebook.com/sheryl/posts/10155617891025177:0
Blonde Lawyer
Beautiful. Thanks for sharing. I hadn’t seen it.
anon
I think just sending a heartfelt card would be enough
Shayla
Depending on your relationship, one of these cards:
http://emilymcdowell.com/collections/cards/Empathy-Cards
advice
(1) Suit dress plus jacket is considered business formal.
(2) Ok not to wear hose IF it’s very hot in the summer. If you do wear hose, wear the sheer-est nude hose. No other colors. Especially in the summer. I’ve worn grey hose with a navy suit in the dead of winter.
(3) Black, navy, and grey are all sufficiently formal.
TBK
I really don’t get where the idea came from that navy and gray were less formal than black. Nothing is more formal than navy or charcoal. Black is equally formal for women, but it’s not more formal.
mascot
For men, black is traditionally reserved for funerals and evening functions, not daytime wear. Perhaps this is where the confusion comes in since women don’t have that “rule.” I see plenty of men who wear black suits to work though.
moss
I just ordered one, I will let you know how it goes. I like the look of it and I like the idea of having data (periods, inactivity, sleep, etc) that I am interested in all in one place.
I also have privacy concerns so will not be taking part in the forums or any other public uploading.