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A fun, pretty, functional wallet always improves my mood — and I'm loving this smart little card case / wristlet from Kate Spade.
In the Before Times I always used to love a good wristlet like this for “quick lunch near the office” purposes, especially if there were any cards you needed to get stamped, gift cards you wanted to remember at lunch time, or more — I also think it's nice and small for just a regular wallet, particularly if you don't carry a ton of cash. (I never do!)
It's also great if you're still mostly working from home — the slim profile means you can just jam it in your jacket pocket if you go for a quick walk, drive, or whatnot.
The wristlet is $98 at Nordstrom (available in three colors); Amazon has even more options.
Hunting for something similar? This well-reviewed one is RFID-blocking and is only $12.
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Sales of note for 10.24.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event, 30% off! Suits are included in the 30% off!
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything, and redeem Stylecash!
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – Friends & Family event, 30% off sitewide.
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off entire purchase, plus free shipping no minimum
- White House Black Market – Buy more, save more; buy 3+ get an extra 50% off
Sales of note for 10.24.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event, 30% off! Suits are included in the 30% off!
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything, and redeem Stylecash!
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – Friends & Family event, 30% off sitewide.
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off entire purchase, plus free shipping no minimum
- White House Black Market – Buy more, save more; buy 3+ get an extra 50% off
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anonymous
I used to love items like this, and I do still carry a card case in my purse (more like $5 at Target), but now that we have to carry a phone at all times, and clothes often don’t have pockets that neatly fit a phone, I don’t really see the benefit of a wristlet that does not have room for a phone. Am I alone in this?
Anon
i’m with you. instead i have a card case on the back of my phone
Anon
I agree. I have a phone case that I can store credit cards, ID, metro card, cash and my keys on. That’s all I need to go for a run or make a quick trip to the drug store/convenience store.
Anon
Same.
Anon
Agreed, but I like to use card cases like this in small clutches that don’t have room for my regular wallet (since I have a big wallet).
Anon
I’m with you. My phone case has room for a few cards, and I love it.
Cat
Same. I’m either traveling so light I don’t use a purse at all (phone in pocket) or need something that can hold phone, wallet, keys, sunglasses case.
Anon
If I’m leaving my house I’m bringing phone, wallet, keys (and now, mask). I use a small card case (smaller than a wristlet). I either just carry these all in my hands/pockets (usually only have the pocket space in a coat) or in a cross body purse. But, I never leave the house without a wallet.
Anonymous
Kat, could you do a coffee break on these phone cases with card slots? I had one but it was huge thick and heavy. Didn’t fit in my pocket.
Anonymous
I really like this one, because it holds quite a few cards but still allows normal use of the phone without having to open the case.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07NRTGXR7/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1
Sloan Sabbith
I have used the smartish case for my last 3 phones. Fits 4 cards and barely adds any bulk to the phone. The cards just slide into the pocket in the back.
Anon
Do these cases work with a wireless charger? The issue that we’ve had with the card phone cases is that we have to remove them to use our wireless chargers.
Anonymous
I like wristlets that have room for my phone, keys and a lip balm.
Anon
I prefer to leave my phone in the car, and shop errands free-handed. So I’d love something like this.
Sloan Sabbith
Same. Although I used a very similar wristlet as my wallet throughout law school. It had all of my keys including my car keys, on it.
Now I just carry my debit, credit, ID, and bus card (well. pre-covid) in my phone and either carry my phone in my pocket or a very small purse if I don’t have pockets.
Anon
Today (in the words of SA) I Did The Thing that I had been putting off for weeks and it was no big deal and took less time than anticipated. I don’t know why I do this to myself. So this is your reminder: just Do The Thing you have been putting off!
Anon
I just posted about Doing The Thing Below. There must be god energy today.
Anon
*good
Cat
I liked your original response lol – typo but it stays!
Curious
Me, too! I was like ooh god energy? Want it!
Anon
How long is too long for a period before you get concerned? [And this is for a teen, not for me.] I understand that there is a range of normal, but to me, >7 days is call the doctor time. Doctor (female) isn’t overly concerned. So in the meantime, how to quantify the next time to call? 10 days between cycles? Another 10-day period? In olden times, someone who bleeds this much and doesn’t die would likely be burned as a witch. And how young is too young to kick things over to a gyn-doctor from a ped-doctor (and are their pediatric gyns? in a big city, so if they exist, I can see if that is an option).
Anon
so mine used to last 7-10 days.
anon
Call your gyno and get your daughter in to see your gyno. You have better odds of your doc fitting in your kid. Too many non-gynos do not take period related issues seriously and just chalk it up to puberty when there is an actual condition underlying it.
Anon
+ 1
Anonymous
I would go straight to a gyn for this. I don’t think you need a specialist (if there is such a thing), but mention the patient’s age when you make the appointment.
My pediatrician did a pelvic exam on me once in my teens. He wasn’t good at it and, in reality, though he was not at all being creepy, it was utterly unnecessary and looking back it plays a little comical. I am certain a gynecologist would have declined to do an exam for that reason and certainly would not have performed it the way my pediatrician did.
Anon
Test for anemia if nothing else — bleeding 10 days on, 10 days off doesn’t seem healthy. Not to mention annoying.
Sunshine
If she is 10 days on and 10 days off as her normal, I would absolutely see a gyn or endocrinologist. I had the opposite problem of almost no periods even after puberty (say one every 10 months) and it turned out to be PCOS. Fortunately my mom kept taking me to new doctors every time one doctor said there was nothing to be concerned about because she knew my body wasn’t acting normally. While I didn’t love seeing all those doctors as an early teen, I really appreciate that my mom was dedicated to figuring out what was going on. I’ve been on the pill for 25 years and kept to a strict diet; I don’t have any ongoing problems. No one will care more about her health than you and, later, her. So I support you advocating for her.
And for the short term, buy period underwear such as Thinx.
Anon
What would the endocrinologist be concerned with (other than PCOS)? The ped ones in our city seem to deal mostly with T1 diabetes vs issues with lady parts it seems.
Anon
How long has the teen been menstruating? Wonky cycles (short periods, long periods, long time between them, short time between them) are all super normal for at least the first two years after the beginning of menstruation. Generally I think if your ped is not concerned you shouldn’t be either. Peds aren’t’ gynecologists but half their patients are female and I trust they know the range of normal. I would push back if my kid were in pain and that was being ignored, but otherwise I think you just listen to the doctor telling you it’s normal.
Fwiw, pre-kid I always had fairly long (7-8 day) periods. They became a lot shorter and lighter after I had a baby.
Anonymous
I don’t think it’s reason to be “concerned” and I understand the doc’s lack of “concern” from the sense that it likely isn’t anything horrible going on, but it’s definitely annoying and something that could be addressed. I would go straight to a gyn and skip her pediatrician.
Anon
I hate how low standards for women’s health are. We deserve diagnosis and treatment when something’s wrong, even if it’s not “horrible.”
(And we deserve a real evaluation and Dx, not just “here take the pill and worry about it years later when you go off the pill someday,” but that’s another gripe.)
Anonymous
Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant as a parent, I wouldn’t be concerned about my child in this instance, but maybe I only say that as an anxious person. I wouldn’t be worried that it’s indicative of a bigger issue. I definitely think this is something that should be addressed and fixed.
anne-on
I’d absolutely go to a gyn, let them know you’d like a consult/evaluation for irregular periods. Even though she’s a teen this can absolutely be indicative of endo/PCOS. My periods were always long, heavy and had significant pain. It took me decades to get confirmation that I had PCOS (because I was also thin and though hairy for my family it wasn’t wookie levels). I genuinely believe most doctors are doing their best but I am flabbergasted at how dismissive the medical establishment is of women’s health issues so I’d be going in with a ‘trust but verify’ attitude. And if the gyn totally dismisses your concerns and refuses to try to test you can always try the magic words ‘I’d like it documented in her chart that the patient is presenting with heavy irregular bleeding and pain and you are refusing to refer her for hormonal blood testing or testing for anemia’.
Sunshine
Longer response awaiting moderation. But basically agree with this for similar reasons.
Cat
if you’re old enough to be having a period, you’re old enough to go to a gyn. I was put on low dose birth control as a 13yo thanks to similar awful long, heavy, gushing, unpredictable periods and it was life changing.
Anon
Who’s defining “period” here? I ask because I have always spotted after ovulation and before my period starts (the luteal phase). It’s my normal. I count my period from the day the cramps (and thus the actual flow) actually start. I mention this because a teen could be counting spotting as her period.
Last time I checked (about 10 years ago), gyns weren’t too sure about the causes of “luteal phase insufficiency,” but there was some guess that progesterone could help. I took various BCs and even applied a progesterone cream during my 20s and 30s, but nothing ever completely eliminated the spotting for me. (One BC made it way worse; the cream made it a little better.) I’m 40 now, and I still spot some, but my periods are only 3-4 days now – with spotting they probably run 7-8 days where I need protection. When I was younger, I needed protection for easily 10-12 days.
Anon
That’s a good point. It’s not spotting though. We have a family rule that period trash gets taken out daily (I guess we are heavy flow-ers, plus in middle school I don’t think they always get to change pads during the school day each time they may want to), so I am aware of the pads vs liners being used and the gross tonnage (and am consulted on laundry needs). I’ve just helped her with the restock of the bathroom vanity. I never had this (except when I had a polyp, but nothing as a teen, nothing ever more than 7 days, 2 of which would be lighter). I went on the pill in my 20s, mainly for horrific cramps, but it was nothing but suffering prior to that (like I didn’t do the Peace Corps b/c my periods were awful in suburbia; how would they be elsewhere in the world?).
A Nonny Mouse
My daughter was having bad periods from the outset (super heavy, painful, migraines), and when we took her to her ped, he referred her to an adolescent gyn. She was 13. She has been on a low-dose BC pill since then and is happily period free (which her gyn says is okay).
Senior Attorney
OMG my life would have been SO DIFFERENT if that had been available 50 or so years ago!
Anon
Mine lasted 9-12 days as a teen, and were so painful that I was passing out on the bathroom floor. I had a ton of invasive tests with no clear results, so they put me on the pill with no off week to just make it go away.
Anonymous
First World, COVID related travel vent that I want to scream into the void: a few months ago, three girlfriends from college and I booked a trip for President’s Day weekend. Two of us live in one east coast city, two of us live in another east coast city. The destination was a luxury hotel with a luxury spa and an in house five star restaurant in a location approximately equidistant between our two home cities. I happen to have a credit card that was going to get us a bunch of additional benefits at this particular hotel, including an upgrade to a really nice suite, room service breakfast each morning, all at no additional cost to us. I’d made all of the reservations for spa and dining, and it was going to be a weekend of catching up, sleeping in (3/4 of us have young kids), massages, facials, and good food. While the hotel and spa are very, very nice, it’s not in a destination like NYC where you would feel like you are missing out if you never leave the hotel. The entire trip was focused on staying at the hotel. A spa trip was the plan the whole time, and was something that we have talked about for nearly a year.
Fast forward a few months, and one of the girls (who is a self-proclaimed germaphobe, always has been) says she’s hesitant to go on the trip because of omicron. I start seeing the writing on the wall that my luxury trip is going to get canceled, but I hold out hope that COVID case numbers will go down. Well, then another one of the girls says that she’s also not comfortable being at a hotel where she is not aware of everyone else’s vaccination status. Blargh. These two decide that they are still comfortable going on a trip and best alternative is to rent at a house at a beach! In February!
I am not a beach person, and I personally hate vacation house rentals. I just have terrible luck with Air B and B’s/VRBO’s that makes staying in them a chore and not a vacation – they’re always dirty in weird ways (like rips/stains on a couch, crumbs in the kitchen drawers with utensils), the mattress are terrible and hurt my back for weeks after, houses randomly don’t have linens or maybe no pillows, the house doesn’t have coffee maker (even though listing said it did) and with all the fees, I find that vacation homes are not really a good cost savings deal. They house that they picked (it was my third of the three choices presented) is the least nice and has the fewest amenities.
I recognize that everyone has a different risk tolerance and everyone can choose to spend their “risk capital” how they want. For me, going to a highly rated hotel that is taking COVID seriously and has a whole list of their cleaning processes posted on the website is not a huge risk to me. I likely wouldn’t have an issue if the two people that made this move to the beach hadn’t also done the following: one of them saying how she and her BF went and got massages a really random place two weeks ago and the other one going on an international trip with her two under five, so not yet able to be COVID vaxxed, kiddos and staying in a hotel. Now I’m driving about an hour more to get to the destination, staying in what looks like only okay-ish accommodations, and basically feel like I’m camping instead of staying at a hotel that was practically the Ritz. And instead of driving in her own car to get to the destination, this new destination is farther so the one who is most concerned about covid now has to fly instead of drive to get to the hotel. Like…. I am just not understanding why our original trip was so risky? Thank you for listening to my rant.
Anon
yes your friends make no sense to me. are you sure it wasn’t a financial cost thing? i had a girls weekend planned in september 2021 that did require two of us flying in, and we all have young kids, and one of the ones we were flying into visit decided she wasn’t comfortable with it. i myself had not been indoors at another person’s home since March 2020, whereas she was gathering indoors with her local family (which is a lot of people) and when on a beach trip with shared accommodations. i was willing to basically quarantine at home before, test, and wear an n95 for the flight and ‘spend’ all of my risk dollars on our gathering since we had not seen one another since June 2019. i will say that i personally probably would not have agreed to such a trip to begin with bc i’m still not doing indoor dining, but your friends did agree to it. i completely understand why you are so frustrated/annoyed. it’s hard when it seems like people have different priorities and when something you are looking forward to is canceled.
Anon
I’m not really sympathetic to your position here. I’m sympathetic to the worldwide situation where COVID is f&*(ing everything up, but your anger should be directed at unvaccinated people who have made it last this long, not your girlfriends. You’re disappointed, understandably, but you cannot decide you’re right about this and everyone else is wrong.
If it’s really that important to you to go to this hotel and this spa, go by yourself and let your girlfriends enjoy themselves in a way they’re comfortable with.
Anon
The friends are being really flaky. I respect a backbone. I respect people who are very risk-averse. I respect changing #s changing things. People randomly changing agreed-on plans based on some internally inconsistent risk metric — seems like how people flake out in 2022. I’m sorry. Come scream into the wind with me.
Anon
Yeah, I’m with you. I’m more cautious about Covid than most people I know, but it doesn’t make sense to commit to this when the Covid situation is bad and then drop out when it improves. It would make sense if they’d 1) never agreed to go, citing Covid, or 2) agreed to go when cases were really low and then dropped out when the Covid situation got worse. But this just feels like flakiness to me. I too wondered if cost was a factor because the beach thing sounds a lot cheaper.
Anon
I agree with you, Anon at 3:44. Especially because it seems like the friends are doing other risky activities. I know we don’t get to determine another person’s risk tolerance, and it seems like OP isn’t saying anything to her friends— just venting on an anonymous message board.
I’d be very disappointed as well, OP, and I don’t think your friends handled it that well from the outset, honestly. I’d still go to the beach house in your position, but would also want to scream into the void.
Anon
Also, I agree with the OP on having bad luck on AirBNB. One, lots of pet hair. Everywhere. I’m glad I never saw the furnace filters in that one. Another: fridge of questionable hygiene. Another: A/C broke and there was (unrelated?) some liquid all over the floor (and I had crawling babies then — eeew). It’s not like at a resort where they can just move you to another room. In the high season, you just get to go home angry. That is a vacation I need a vacation from.
Cat
My advice if this happens – Airbnb has staff for a reason to contact for help. That’s why we always rent through them and not a VRBO or independent lease type situation where you’re dealing with a random owner.
Anon
That’s interesting — when I contacted one owner he basically tried to handle outside of the platform and I thought he’d try to get me banned if I publicly commented (just a vibe he gave off). Something was really off and giving me the creeps at one but next time (if I ever go back), I will call the company first (although I have read exposees that they don’t really care either and there have been some shady settlements).
Cat
Anon- that is exactly why we go to Airbnb corporate. We’ve only had to do it once (a host hadn’t given us checkin instructions timely) and they were ready and willing to find us another comparable place. They ended up chasing down the host in time so we didn’t have to swap.
Anonymous
Why though? If my friends pulled this I’d say “we can cancel, here’s how much you owe (half each of whatever is non-refundable. I’m not going to the beach.”
anon
+100 #sorrynotsorry
Anon
Maybe because she also wants to spend time with her friends who sound like they live in other cities? You can simultaneously want to see your friends and be disappointed that they flaked on a trip you were looking forward to— we contain multitudes.
Anon
Yes, this. OP, you’re a really, really good friend because I’d be like no thanks. I cannot stand when people drastically change plans like this; top five pet peeve for sure!
Anon
Yeah I would nope right out of this beach trip. I don’t use my vacation time and money on vacations I won’t enjoy.
Cat
it sounds to me like Covid isn’t actually the reason – maybe they got worried about how much the trip would cost as it got closer and they studied the spa treatments & restaurant menu?
Anonymous
Op here – actually, the new version of the trip is more expensive because the two girls in the other city now have to book last minute flights that are $800, and due to the holiday weekend we have to rent a house for three nights when we will only be there for two (plus holiday weekend fees/surcharges) We got a really good deal on the hotel rooms, everyone had already paid for those and a spa treatment. I was going to treat everyone (and had told them this) to the hotels speciality dining experience/tasting menu, which everyone was excited about. I recognize that I am unreasonably frustrated. I really wanted to see my friends and stay at this specific hotel and just relax. I’m frustrated at the inconsistent risk assessments and decisions they’re making.
I’m still going in part because one of the girls in the other city has just finalized her divorce, has full custody of their child, and hasn’t had a night away since her daughter was born two years ago. She had to move mountains to get childcare, and I am not about to back out of this trip and leave her high and dry. I offered to her separately that we still go to the hotel, but she doesn’t want to make anyone mad and is okay with the beach house. I am excited to see everyone, and I’m already planning a specific spa weekend get away with a different friend group. I just wanted to scream into the void and appreciate you all letting me do that.
No Face
I don’t think you are unreasonably frustrated. The vacation you had planned sounds wonderful, and you are doing an entirely different thing. You are being a very, very good friend.
I hope you save up and treat yourself to the style of vacation you want!
Anon
Commiseration. Your original trip sounds wonderful. Your friends’ positions on this are so full of inconsistencies that I think that “Covid risk” is just what they’re hanging their hat on as an excuse, and that there is some other reason for the change.
Anon
Take me, OP! The luxury spa trip sounds like a dream. In all seriousness, I’m sorry this happened and I totally understand your disappointment.
anon
I will also join and go with you. I am fun, I swear.
Anon
Same!
Anon
Actually, I’m not fun. I wasn’t fun before and I’m even worse now. I like to think it’s in a bit of a Dorothy Parker way. You have nothing nice to say; come sit by me.
anon
That seems fun to me!
Anon
Me three! I need a getaway and am burnt out with kids too! Take me to the nice hotel!
NYCer
Yes! And OP, where is this unicorn sounding hotel?!
anon
I’m sorry, that’s super frustrating. That’s quite a change in plans, and I wouldn’t be too pleased, either.
My long-awaited girlfriends’ trip for late February was canceled, and I wasn’t too happy about that. We would’ve been driving, not flying; staying in accommodations that are about as safe as they can be; all of us are vaccinated; and frankly, I have been so so so careful over the past two years (more so than the original organizer) and I am just over it.
Anonymous
I’m sorry, that’s super frustrating. I think possibly your friends aren’t as much of a luxury spa person as you, in the same way that you are not a beach person. (I wouldn’t have chosen a beach house in February either, but I also wouldn’t have wanted facials and massages.)
But like you say, it’s spending risk capital now, for everybody, and I think how much you value or covet the thing also plays a part in how you spend your risk capital.
I think the big thing, though, is that the four of you is still spending your risk capital to be together, and have all decided that spending time together is worth travellng for, worth spending money on, and worth spending risk capital on, and it’s very nice to have friends like that. I hope you have a great weekend, and that the bed is at least tolerable. Bring an extra pillow, at least, from home? And book a solo trip to the luxury place to do all the things you want later.
Anon
Commiseration. I don’t have a comparable experience about canceling a trip because one of my close friends is so risk averse she won’t even make lunch plans at an indoor restaurant, and my other close girlfriend got sick of her being so fearful and anxious and has disconnected from the two of us. I refuse to keep asking my risk-averse friend to go places and do things because she never seems to get to a place where she feels okay about doing anything; she’ll tentatively agree to plans and then cancel if she doesn’t feel comfortable with the case counts that day. Despite her being triple-vaxxed, me being triple-vaxxed, the mask mandate we still have in place, the fact that I’ve tried to choose places that are “safer,” etc. So I gave up. I’m doing things on my own and I’m going places where I can meet new friends.
I am really sorry about the switch in plans. If I were in your shoes, I would just try to get through the weekend focusing on what I could find that’s positive about the situation, rather than what’s irritating, because the wrong focus would put me in a headspace where I couldn’t enjoy anything (and if I am spending time and money on a trip, I want to enjoy it). I am hopeful, hopeful, hopeful that as Omicron drops off we’ll be through the worst of it and people will start understanding we’re cool going back to normal. I was cool with caution for awhile but I’m coming up on being vaxxed for a year and I’m ready for life to move on.
Anonymous
I think AirBnB is gross and agree that your friends’ behavior sounds inconsistent, but I would assume you don’t have the whole picture on their risk assessment. I have eaten in a restaurant exactly once in the past two years. If I were your friend and declined your invitation to get together at a restaurant, you probably would be angry because I ate in a restaurant that one other time. What you wouldn’t know is that 1) it was during last summer’s pre-Delta lull, when case counts were low and breakthrough cases were practically unheard of, 2) our party had an entire room to itself, and 3) we agreed because it was my husband’s last chance to spend time with his elderly parents before they left town for an extended period. The risk was minimal and was outweighed by other factors. You wouldn’t know any of this, and would just be angry that I’d gone to dinner once with mom and dad but wouldn’t go with you.
I think you should just go on the luxury spa trip by yourself.
Anonymous
I agree, as the mental gymnastics of, “it was fine then because of x but not now!” is fascinating to see but very frustrating to plan around. Sorry about your trip OP.
Anon
Grown adults should be capable of using their words and explaining why they’re comfortable with some risks and not others before money has been spent and plans have been made for a big trip. You probably feel attacked because you recognize your own behavior in her descriptions of how her flaky-a** friends are acting but guess what – some of us are very very tired of constantly having to navigate anxiety and risk perceptions for people who have an extremely low chance of getting seriously sick or dying from the virus. Sorry but I am very sick of trying to work around the pretzel logic people are applying to risk situations. I was scared of getting sick for a long time but no one I know who has gotten vaccinated has gotten sick for more than a couple of days, even when Delta was dominant. How long are we going to do this?
Anon
I really wish there were better statistics on this. In my bubble, multiple fully vaccinated people are still sick after being down for weeks over the holidays. I don’t want to go through what they’ve gone through. No one knows when they’ll be fully recovered.
No one you know is going through this, so of course it looks different to you: it’s almost as if the CDC should be tracking serious outcomes other than hospitalization and death!
Anonymous
Wow, this is judgmental. I don’t think these people are really your friends, or that you are really their friend.
Jules
I don’t see how this is judgmental or that the OP does not like her friends. they had very specific plans (which sound a-mazing, to me) and a couple of them unilaterally decided to change those plans late in the day, with explanations that don’t hold up. (COVID is not really the issue, as OP’s comments make clear.) This is flaky and inconsiderate; the OP is entitled to be annoyed. But she’s still going along with the plans becase she wants to be with her friends.
Anon
+1. I would be so annoyed and frustrated at this change in plans. Being a friend doesn’t mean you can’t want to do your fun, previously agreed-upon plans!
Anon
That is confusing and very frustrating. You are a good friend to adapt to the new, worse, and more expensive plan. But I really want to know what this plan was so I can copy – please post the hotel!
Anonymous
The Umstead hotel in Cary, NC (outside of Raleigh)
I went to Grand Hyatt Baha Mar last week!
I wasn’t able to comment this morning because of meetings.
Baha Mar was great last week. Many outdoor restaurants, many pools. The on-site water park was fun. Beach was nice. People mostly wore masks in the indoor common areas, except for the indoor restaurants. Service was great. There was an on-site COVID testing center for the return flight home, but I’m not sure if the hotel always has that or if the conference arranged it. Food was expensive though.
Anonymous
Is the food good?
I went to Grand Hyatt Baha Mar last week!
Not mind-blowing, but pretty good. Lots of variety. I enjoyed every meal.
Anon
I don’t know why it is making me happy to find out that at least 3 of the women mentioned for SCOTUS are parents. I get that parenthood isn’t every person’s goal or even really an accomplishment. For me, I see parenthood as the hill good careers go to die on and I’m glad that these women have been able to do well (just like the guys do all the time, that is not remarkable) notwithstanding how hard that can be. [And it seems that they all have working spouses.] I wish I didn’t feel that kid or career is an either-or choice, but with how I see it play out, I don’t see a lot of working moms with kids old enough to read; they are all mostly gone by then as the uphill climb just got too steep.
Anon
In an egalitarian world where men are equal parents, if parenthood is a career killer, 50% of those careers killed would be men’s.
No Face
Yeah, let’s not make this gender neutral. The issue isn’t “parenthood” the issue is discrimination against mothers and working mothers doing their more than their share everywhere. I’m always glad to see working mothers achieve.
I will also point out as a Black woman, generation 5 or 6 out of Africa, no woman in my lineage had the ability to be a stay-at-home mom her whole adult life, whether she wanted to or not. We have always been working mothers. Glad to see that some of us can push ourselves into the kind of working motherhood that comes with important jobs and/or big salaries.
Anon
I have been procrastinating on 3 projects for way too long. Since Friday, I buckled down and I have completed 2 of the 3, and I am committed to finishing the third by COB on Friday. I feel so much better already. Just DO THE THING!
Anon
Low-stakes COB question. Favorite gluten free dessert for a Super Bowl gathering? Small, just 5 adults, one of whom is GF.
Anonymous
It’s not very Super Bowl-ish, but creme brulee.
Anonymous
Brownies made with GF flour
anon
Get a gluten-free brownie mix and call it a day. I strongly feel that Super Bowl is not the time for fancy food, and the Pillsbury GF mix is actually really good if you like fudgy brownies.
anne-on
If you’re making heavy/spicy/fatty pub type food for mains/apps I might just go for sliced fruit with homemade whipped cream? But if you want to go all out these are super easy and VERY yummy:
https://smittenkitchen.com/2019/02/chocolate-puddle-cakes/
Anonymous
Sliced fruit?!?! Do you hate America?
Senior Attorney
Ice cream sundae bar?
Flats Only
Ice cream sundae bar?
Senior Attorney
Ice cream sundae bar!!
Anon
Gluten free brownies IN ice cream sundaes sounds a great combination! This is coming from someone who hasn’t actually eaten ice cream in several years, for no real reason, just that I figured that I didn’t really need it and so I haven’t bought it (also, it made my cats turn into little monsters trying to steal it out of my bowl when I did eat it), but for some reason that actually sounds very good today!
Anon
Agreed, from someone who ate ice cream last night. Or, if you want something that can sit out, I personally would like a tray of GF brownies and Rice Krispie treats.
Senior Attorney
Don’t want to be a downer, but I looked it up and Rice Krispies are not gluten free. Darn.
Coach Laura
Yeah, for GF Rice Krispies, you’ll have to use the puffed rice cereal from the natural/GF section of the store or whole foods.
Anonymous
The King Arthur flourless chocolate cake is divine, but probably overkill for the Super Bowl. I also love a fruit crumble or crisp made with oat or almond flour. But I agree with SA that this occasion probably just calls for ice cream. Or do fruit with a yogurt dip, if you want to stick with a finger food theme.
KS IT Chick
Eggnog spiced rice cereal treats. When you’re making the butter & marshmallow mix, add an airline bottle of spiced dark rum and fresh grated nutmeg. Mix in the rice cereal as normal.
Sweet & salty rice cereal treats. Replace 1/3 of the rice cereal with crushed potato chips. Add vanilla to the butter & marshmallow mix.
Senior Attorney
OMG this is rocking my world.
Home equity loan or HELOC
Talk to me about a HELOC (line of credit) vs. home equity loan. We are considering a renovation that we could pay for in cash but would prefer to take out a loan. We might move in a few years and pay off the loan/LOC balance then (so prepayment penalties are an issue) or we might be in this house forever. I can’t figure out the pros and cons of each option. We already have a super low interest rate on our mortgage so don’t want to refinance. I’m nervous about taking out the debt even though I know it makes financial sense long term to do so so I want to make sure I’m choosing the right kind of debt. Any advice?
Anon
Why would there be pre-payment problems with a HELOC? AFAIK, it works rather like a credit card. Minimum payments monthly, but you can pay it off any time you want.
similar scams
funny you mention because I listened to the first 5 podcasts of Sweet Bobby because it was recommended here and I couldn’t finish because I was cringing so hard. The first few were good when you didn’t know the exact mystery or lead-up, but the rest I found so appalling and felt myself 100% victim blaming.
Do these grown women have no idea how the internet works? A whispering man on facebook controls your life and makes you fear for your life? You’re planning a life with a man you’ve never seen? I’ve seen some internet ephemera which suggests Tinder Swindler is the same so I’m gonna nope on out of that one.
Anon
I find it so interesting how and how often “intrigued” is used on this site. I have almost come to the conclusion that it’s used in planted product research posts masquerading as ordinary posts. I mean, do you really use “intrigue” like this in real life? I’d use “interested” or “curious.” Never “intrigued.”
Cat
ha, I actually use it IRL – but will nominate the next influencer who is “obsessed” with __________ to be banned from the internet forever!
Joggers
I use intrigued frequently. It has a very different connotation than interested or curious.
Curious
Oh no. Now I will notice it every time it’s said.
Anonymous
Are you sure it’s that common? I did a site-specific google search and there was three hits for the last month, not even two pages of hits for the whole last year. (Yes, I’m a word nerd that just had to go look.)
I found about three kinds of uses – ads in the blog post themselves, ads in the comments like you point out, and then people seemingly truly being intrigued. I’m assuming yogurt intrigue is not a hidden ad. So agree in principle, but I don’t think it’s used very often.
Anon
The search function on this site is pretty weak. I can never find something very specific I search for using broad terms (and specific ones!) even a week later.
Cat
the search function within this s-te doesn’t search the comments, but doing a Google search that’s specific to c-rpor-tte . com works well.
Anon
No, but I say that word in real life. Where is it used, searching for it on this page only takes me to your comment.
Kat G
No, I’m afraid it’s just a Kat-ism – at one point I tried to make a list of crap I say entirely too much so at least I could space it out but it’s tough. (Lovely… do tell, readers! I’m dying to hear! I’m pondering, I thought I’d ask, my $.02, etc. all writers have crutches, if this blog were a book we could edit at the end, but in this format (where posts are sometimes written out of order or scheduled ahead) it’s harder to do. But thank you for reading anyway!
Cat
Ha, I’ll nominate “hmmmn” for that list – I’ve never seen anyone else spell it with an “n” at the end :)
I just went back up and looked and don’t actually see “intrigued” used in this post at all!
Anonymous
“Huzzah!” and “Nice!” need to be on this list
Anon
That guy is an abusive love-bomber; I can understand being caught up in it all. It’s like The Bachelor bubble, but on steriods. Everything is perfect, paid for, everything is a fairy tale. You know he’s ‘good for’ the money, because he’s been treating you this whole time.