Corporette.com

Updated: Jan 31, 2021 140 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Goldie Kitten Heel

Coffee Break

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

I was poking around for some fun hot pink heels for a project I'm working on (to be revealed eventually!) and I absolutely fell in love with the bright pink color here, as well as the cutouts and the low heel height (1.5 inches). In my experience, if you have pants hemmed to wear with flats, a low kitten heel like this will also work with that hem height — what has your experience been with that, ladies?

There are a few bad reviews, but it seems that there's a sizing issue — do take note if you're thinking of ordering them.

The shoes are $54 at Zappos, also available in black, gray, navy, and light beige in sizes 5.5-12. (If you prefer a higher heel, these Nine West block heels look nice and for about the same price.)

{related: check out our Guide to Comfortable Heels!}

Sales of note for 9.10.24

Sales of note for 9.10.24

Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…

RSS Error: WP HTTP Error: cURL error 60: Issuer certificate is invalid.

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Feels

    When our family made a third of what we do now, we felt middle class. Now we’re in a much more expensive area, we still feel middle class. My close friend who make $500K+ say they feel poor. I don’t begrudge them because feelings aren’t facts and feelings aren’t wrong… and I understand.

    The things that make me “feel” poor: single family homes are $2M+ in my area, I know a lot of people my age or younger who have millions from IPOs or families.

    The things that make me “feel” middle class: we can save for retirement, we have health insurance, and we have a solid emergency fund.

    The things that would make me “feel” rich: flying business class on every flight, having a house in my area, and a vacation home, and one of those multi-thousand dollar medical concierge memberships.

    What are yours?

    • anon

      The things that make me “feel” poor: struggling to pay my kid’s medical bills.

      The things that make me “feel” middle class: being able to buy health insurance, pay my kid’s medical bills even if it is a struggle, and pay for a private (parochial) school that helps students with exceptionalities.

      The things that would make me “feel” rich: having a solid emergency fund, saving for retirement, and saving for college.

    • Anon

      “I know a lot of people my age or younger who have millions from IPOs or families.”

      There’s a fair amount of evidence that people measure their comfort and quality of life by the people around them, not their own objective circumstances.

      The thing that makes me feel comfortable middle class (we make slightly under $150k a year, LCOL area): frugality is a choice, not a mandate.

    • AnonMom

      Poor: serviceable but not cosmetically updated house (think 90’s builder’s grade fixtures, worn out carpet, hand me down furniture).

      Middle class: I can afford health care costs with my insurance, my job is solid and not in danger, and we outright own our elderly but functional vehicles and can afford to maintain and repair them.

      Rich: maxing out my 401k and buying fancy beverages whenever the mood strikes.

    • Anonymous

      Things that make me feel rich: not having friends who talk about how poor they are on 500k a year.

    • Anonymous

      The things that make me “feel” poor: this one is a stretch, but we do a lot of our own home maintenance and live in a less than totally updated home. We took our kids to disney and stayed off site and packed our own lunches (maybe this is middle class?) To be fair, we do both of these things entirely by choice.

      The things that make me “feel” middle class: we take a fair amount of vacations with the kids, but not international. I don’t have a ski house or a beach house.

      The things that would make me “feel” rich: Honestly, I am rich. We have a HHI of over 400k. We are just cheap. What would make me feel .01%? A personal driver, a heated driveway, a car turn-around-thingy in a 12 car garage. Actual house staff (like, a butler and someone that is in my home daily to care for it–like a maid).

    • Anonymous

      I get what you’re asking, but I think I can’t play.

      I have never been rich (comparatively, where I live), and never expect to be. I have have, my whole life, though, always been middle class.

      I have lived on next to no money, and I suppose I have technically been poor several time throughout my life. But even with no money, I was always middle class.

      I have always been middle class because my parents had X years of education and social standing (but no money), I had X level of cultural training (you know, “knowing when to clap” at an arts performance), I was exposed to different cultures (food, arts, political asylum), I never ever doubted that discussing sociology was part of a normal, tuesday night family dinner, and I have always, always thought that my vote would be important.

      It doesn’t matter that I don’t make X amount euroes, it doesn’t matter that I’ve had to choose between internet and food. I am middle class.

      In terms of what luxeries would make me feel rich – I agree, permanent business class travel would be lovely. :)

  2. Erin Go Nowhere

    Help. The Monday is getting worse, what are you all doing to get your motivation back for this week?

    • Anon

      It’s been tough. I’m in NOLA and today was our first day back in the office, so I took a little field trip during lunch and drove around looking at float houses. It put me in a much much better mood going into the afternoon.

    • Booties

      I make Monday the one day I don’t have to do any home chores (ex. no laundry, no paying bills) and always have something I really like for dinner. A favorite or take out. So there is something I always look forward to on Mondays.

      It really helps me a lot.

      • Anonymous

        I always want takeout on Mondays, but all of our local restaurants are closed Mondays.

      • Anon

        I need to start doing this. I often do chores or run errands on Mondays because I hate wasting my weekends on that stuff. But then Monday is sad.

    • Anonymous

      I find that just accepting that Mondays can suck helps me. I make it a chore day so I can get all the unpleasantness of work and obligation done and then enjoy weekends off.

    • Anon

      I’m responding to a series of deadlines and inquiries, pretty much the only things that keep me on track lately.

    • Anon

      Honestly, drastically lowered expectations. For work I write down what ABSOLUTELY must be accomplished that day (even if it’s an inch forward on a project) and then the nice to have but doesn’t have to happen. For home, my goal is to only do one thing needed at home per night, and accept relaxing the rest of the night – that can literally mean wash the dishes, or cook dinner, pick out clothes, or pack lunch for the next day – literally just one.

      Basically, being kinder to yourself so the weekday doesn’t seem as difficult.

    • Anon

      I have no choice but to be on the ball on Mondays, since it’s trash night. Cat litter gets changed, fridge gets cleaned, all packaging gets broken down and processed.

      Unfortunately we only have semi-monthly recycling, so if I slack off, I struggle with two weeks of backed up cardboard and aluminum.

  3. Anon

    I don’t know how anyone wears a heel like this without breaking their ankle.

    Every time a covid discussion comes up (or even a carrying your cell phone while running discussion) I’m reminded of the George Carlin bit on driving- “anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.”

    • Cat

      I agree on the heel height. Skinny kitten heels are to me the worst type of shoe — with a higher heel, your weight is pitched forward so you get stability from the ball of your foot. With this low of a heel, your weight is still on your – now super wobbly – heel. Block heels only at this height please.

    • Anon

      Yep. I just wish those people would collapse the threads at least SOMETIMES.

      Re: the shoes, I agree. Kitten heels often feel really unstable to me.

    • Kitten

      Yes, plus I feel like a pointy flat looks more elegant than a kitten heel so I don’t get the point. The proportions are just off. To me they look like something designed to be maliciously compliant with old-school dress codes that required women to wear heels.

      • Anonymous

        Same here. Kitten heels don’t make me feel taller and they don’t make my calves look the way high heels do. The dainty little heel looks and feels as if it could snap off at any minute. They are not comfortable or easy to walk in and they don’t send the right message as part of my work costume. If I want flat shoes, I’ll wear flats; if I want heels, I’ll wear real ones.

    • anne-on

      Maybe I’m an outlier but I love kitten heels! They read more formal to me than point toed flats, but they don’t aggravate my terrible terrible knees nearly as much. Maybe it’s because I naturally walk on my toes a lot?

      • Anonymous

        +1, kitten heels are my favorites! I love the look, don’t at all get the comments about stability, and my low back does better with a low heel than with flats.

      • LaurenB

        I don’t get the hate for kitten heels either. They are way more stable and easier to walk in than higher heels, IMO.

  4. Lilau

    Just got a disappointing performance review. I guess I’ve known wfh is a bigger struggle for me than most but…oh man that hurt. It’s been a rough year personally and I don’t think I’ve ever worked so hard with so little to show for it. I think both my boss and my preschooler could hear me holding back tears. I want to quit for the day but I have too much work. Ugh.

    • anon

      I’m really sorry. FWIW, I think many of us have had rough years professionally, especially those of us trying to pull off parenting and working in the same space simultaneously.

    • AnonATL

      I think a lot of people are having bad reviews this year, and I’m sorry that happened to you.
      When I was doing my self review, I felt like I was grading myself really harshly and then I found out a promotion I wanted is going to be delayed longer than I thought.
      I’m basically just writing this year off in my career. I did what I could in terrible circumstances.
      Doesn’t make it any easier though. Take the evening to unwind and try to get back at it hard tomorrow.

    • Anon

      Hugs. Please give yourself some grace. You’re allowed to have rough years.

    • Anon

      Hug?

      Take a deep breath. Write out a very achievable list of things to accomplish today, get through it, and log off at a normal hour.

    • Anokha

      Sending you all the internet hugs. The past year has been SO bananas, and the fact that we’re expected to perform normally is even more bananas.

      • Betsy

        This. I also had a not great performance review this year and I’m disappointed in myself that I’ve undercut my own reputation but I am also really angry that we are all supposed to just work like normal in a world that is anything but. It’s compounded by the fact that covid has hit my extended group of people much harder than it seems to have anyone else in my office, so I have spent most of the past year feeling like the pandemic was on top of me while in my boss’s world it was something that happened to other people.

    • Anon

      Ok. Deep breath. Is it a look for a new job bad performance appraisal or is it a mostly ok but needs improvement in these areas performance appraisal?

      I know from my years of doing up to 45 performance appraisals for direct and indirect employees, those in the latter category took it way too hard, and those in the former category tended not to take it hard enough.

      • Lilau

        Thanks.

        Yeah it was one area that tanked me- basically administrative stuff that takes 10xs longer to do remotely so I really struggled with doing it timely in light of all the external deadlines. It’s fine- the performance appraisal was disappointing, and my boss acknowledged that, but it’s not objectively bad.

        It’s been a really hard year where I’ve had some major successes despite everything, but still this was a big step back from prior reviews.

        It does feel sometimes like 2020 really demolished a lot of what I’ve spent the past few decades building, and it’s hard to gather the resilience to rebuild in an environment where my contributions matter so much less. Thanks for all the virtual support and understanding. Means a lot.

  5. Makeup Help

    I’ve recently been experiencing some difficulties getting my foundation to look nice in certain areas of my face for most of the day. I’ve always been a person who likes to put on my makeup and never touch it for the rest of the day, so I have years of experience picking long lasting products.

    I currently use a light moisturizer (Clinque), eye cream (Cetaphil), light coat of primer (Elf right now), light coat of liquid foundation (Tarte), very light dusting of powder (Tarte again),light coat of finishing powder under my eyes and on my nose and then apply a setting spray to my entire face when its done. It sounds like a lot, but doesn’t look like a lot when finished.

    However, a couple of hours into my day the makeup on my nose and between my eyebrows “separates” and gets patchy. My nose is slightly oily but not overly. Maybe it has something to do with mask wearing, but the rest of my face (including cheeks and chin) stay good until I wash my makeup off at night. Plus, my mask doesn’t touch between my eyebrows, and I don’t wear glasses.

    Anyone else have this problem? What are your solutions?

    • Kitten

      That happens to me if I don’t exfoliate religiously. I use Tarte’s Knockout Toner in the morning. I like the Dennis Gross peel pads even better but only buy those when I find a good deal. I have super oily skin that doesn’t react much to acids though. Pre-covid I’d started shaving my face, essentially an amateur dermaplaning, which also makes makeup apply better.

      TBH I’ve gotten lazy about all this and I can definitely tell that my makeup doesn’t look as good when I randomly wear it now.

    • Anon

      For me, this is a moisturizer problem; change moisturizers, all good. (And actually, my foundation specifically doesn’t play nicely with a Clinique moisturizer I tried recently.)

    • Vicky Austin

      Following! I get this, especially in winter. My best attempt is just to moisturize that area better at night. Maybe I need to go full-on cold cream or something.

    • Anon

      I agree to exfoliate but also to match your foundation with your underlayer types. For instance it’s hard to put water based products over silicones. For me, I try to use all water based products under makeup so that I don’t have this issue. Then some setting spray over everything at the end if this keeps happening.

      My lastest trick for a glowy sheer cover is to use a drop of my BB cream (Dr Jart) and apply from the middle of the face outward, then immediately, while the BB is still damp, follow with a drop of luminizing primer/serum on the same brush to thin out the coverage and add some dewiness. I do finish with a little translucent powder over areas that may look too shiny.

      This application lasts all day and basically looks the same until I wash my face at night.

    • Anon

      I can think of a few reasons this is happening:
      1) skin is too oily so the makeup is pooling and sticking where your face moves from expressions – lighter moisturizers
      2) skin is too drive so it’s flaking – heavier moisturizer
      3) products don’t mix. – here you should probably use a tarte primer and tarte finishing powder since products of the same brand are usually formulated to work together.

    • anon

      I’m guessing your primer isn’t playing nicely with either your moisturizer or your foundation. I have had this issue with Elf primer specifically. I think it has a lot of silicones, while my other stuff (including Clinique moisturizer) is water based.

    • anon

      Yes to therapy. And then to breathe and remind yourself what you were used to is not normal nor expected. I was in a similar situation. Boss wasn’t overtly abusive or demanding, no yelling etc. but there was a lot of manipulation, gaslighting, and throwing under the bus. I’m still dealing with that trauma at my new workplace where my knee jerk reaction continues to be: somebody is going to blame me for this even though it’s not my responsibility at all so I need to be proactive and take on work that’s beyond my responsibility to cover my behind, just in case. I’ve had to stop myself multiple times from this way of thinking, and really just communicate the issue to my supervisor who, I’m also reminding myself, is reasonable, does have my back and is not out to destroy me. Practice being kind to yourself, and see that the workplace hasn’t turned on you. If it has, then it’s the wrong place to work at.

    • Anon

      Get rid of the primer. Use a setting spray. If these fail, try a new foundation.

    • Anon

      You can get silicone-based foundations like Face Atelier Ultra Skin, if it’s the primer or foundation doing it.

  6. lemon bar

    Any tips re: recovering from an abusive work situation?

    I accepted a fellowship that recently ended. My boss is extraordinarily well respected; he is considered to be a real living genius in my field. He was also an abusive manager. There was no “Me Too”-type conduct (although plenty of light misogyny), but he was a yeller, regularly belittled other fellows as well as laboratory staff, and lost his temper at the drop of a hat. The workload was intense and pushed me to the edge of my abilities. The Boss expected perfect performance on extremely challenging at the performance. I worked nearly every weekend and on holidays, and lost a significant amount of weight from stress. I survived that experience thanks to a wonderful group of coworkers and staff.

    In November, I moved on to a new job where everyone is friendly and tells me I’m wonderful I am and how lucky I am to have worked with Boss. I feel that I should be at ease, but I’m having a hard time leaving my survival strategies behind, even though they are becoming counterproductive. All tasks take an unnecessarily long time, because I am scared of messing up. I find it hard to send even an informal email without reading it over eight or nine times for pitfalls and potential triggers (a necessity with the Boss). I’ll reach a point where I know that I should stop, but I can’t. I have a hard time logging off from work, and taking time for myself even when I know that it’s fine. And while my superiors have been totally wonderful, I still feel like I’m just waiting for them to go “off” on me.

    I’m pursuing some serious options offline (I think therapy is in my near future). But I know there’s plenty of people here who have been through something similar. I’d love to hear any stories (inspirational or not), commiseration, or advice if you’re willing to share. Consider it your good deed for the day. It would really help me feel less alone.

    • Anonymous

      I went through this! It took a full year and therapy to normalize. What helped me reset most was an out of work hobby- something I could work hard at just because I enjoyed it that no one cared about but me. Be gentle with yourself!

    • CountC

      I had a similar experience and I 100% needed therapy to work through it. It still took time, but therapy was crucial for me.

    • Anon

      I went through this too – started my new job right before the pandemic (and just like you, everyone here is lovely and complimentary, but I just found myself so terrified of making even the smallest mistake). Unfortunately, with the pandemic it has been hard to get to know new people and settle into a routine, even as I come up on a year here, but as time passes I am noticing myself relax. I feel lighter, truly like a weight has been lifted. I think therapy is a good idea, but also, just know that in seven or eight months, you will feel much better on your own. Good luck to you and congrats for getting out of that situation.

    • Anon

      I needed therapy and I am still not the same. Gett therapy sooner rather than later; it will help you to heal faster, rather than the current situation piling on.

    • Anonymous

      Agreeing with the others – two months is too soon to expect to have left this behind. Think of this analogy – if this were an abusive personal relationship, would you expect to be “over it” two months after leaving? While work situations are different than a personal situation, the emotional responses you’ve having are not.

    • Anon

      I went through this. I am not going to make you feel better right now. I worked in a notoriously cutthroat environment. Someone once asked me how I worked there because they had heard it was back-stabbing and my response was, no, it’s front-stabbing. People who were going after you were very open about it. It was absolutely unpleasant but there were no secrets.

      The next company I worked for everyone was so relaxed and nice it took a good year to get used to it. But in truth, there was a lot of back stabbing going on behind closed doors, and I didn’t realize it was happening to me until it was too late. I don’t work there anymore and I’m mostly glad not to, but it wasn’t my choice to leave when I did.

    • Marie

      Echoing others. It can take years to unlearn the feelings not to expect the worst and the defense mechanisms you developed working in a toxic environment. Eventually, you will settle into the new normal that is your reality in you new place. My best advice to trying to move past the “preemptively dreading the yelling”(which in your new place should not be a factor) is to assume that unless someone tells you that you are doing something wrong, you aren’t. Keep repeating to yourself, “they would tell me if there was a problem” and keep doing whatever you are doing unless told to do things differently. You can’t trust your own judgment of people’s perceptions of you right now because they are skewed by paranoia.

    • Abby

      I went through this with my last job – right before I got my new job offer, one of my bosses pulled me into this office and screamed at me. I lost 5 lbs that week from anxiety and being upset, and while I am very proud I didn’t cry in front of anyone at work, I sobbed on my drive home while talking to my parents on the phone to the point that they were concerned I wasn’t able to drive safely. I didn’t go to therapy due to Covid, but I know it would’ve benefited me greatly. I would say I’m 90% over it, almost a full year later of leaving the toxic job, and it’s been a combination of working hard in the new job, getting a great performance review/bonus, and realizing how much I’ve learned already.
      I doubted everything I did from March-November/December, always waiting for my new boss to turn out to be mean or yell at me. Even when I got compliments on my work, I downplayed it to myself. DH finally (gently) told me I needed to get over what happened at my last job, and view this as a clean slate. I know this isn’t much advice, but hugs. I think the toxic work environment was more damaging to me than any breakup I’ve ever experienced. You are not alone.

    • pugsnbourbon

      You’re absolutely not alone. Give it some more time; therapy can help too.

    • Anon

      Therapy helps. I had a work situation in spring/summer 2019 where my boss was treating me and the other woman my age on her team very, very, very poorly- and seemed to take a lot of pleasure in making us miserable, we both realized later. One day she told me that I clearly had never been abused, because if I did I would be handling a situation better. I would cry every night on the way home, cried on the way to work, spent most of my day with my door shut, and developed migraines. She quit after about 6 months of this and my new boss, who is amazing, has been in her role about 18 months. Only in the last 6 months or so have I really felt like I was trusted and wasn’t constantly being judged, even though she’s been amazing since day one and has always been very encouraging. Therapy + new work situation + supportive colleagues helped a LOT.

      • Anon

        “One day she told me that I clearly had never been abused, because if I did I would be handling a situation better.”

        Childhood abuse victim here. That is HORRIFYING.

        • Anon

          It was ridiculously, traumatizingly bad. Been in an abusive relationship. At the end of the convo we had to immediately go to another meeting where she acted like she hadn’t just been a complete bitch to me for an hour. Took everything in me not to break down.

    • Anon

      Went through this as well and 100% recommend therapy. I also started taking anxiety meds which have been helping. I try to remember to stop and meditate when I feel myself getting overwhelmed by benign work stuff. It helps immensely, but often I feel too overwhelmed to even do it. I also have be journaling a bit when I’m having work related anxiety so that I can explore what’s going on, for example through journaling I realized that I have a tendency to deliberately not read emails that I’m afraid will be negative, telling myself I’ll circle back when I calm down a bit, but I never calm down and then days later I am even more anxious because I have waited too long to respond… etc.

    • Jane

      Prepare neutral, truthful and safe (for you and your career) cliche responses to give when people find out where you worked and they want to talk about it. Have the response end with a natural turn back to the questioner. For instance: “Oh, he put together such a wonderful team in the lab and on staff. Where did you do your fellowship?” Most people ask to be friendly and then want to tell you their stories. Lean into it. Practice the cliches in front of the mirror or with friends until they roll off naturally and without effort. If he is well know for his work, he is also a well known jerk and abuser of his fellows. No need to falsely praise him or cover for his abusive behavior. Stay neutrally professional. Get help for yourself to resolve the warping marks he made on your inside and know that you are a survivor.

    • Cat

      JCrew is one of my go-tos in normal times.
      -This material (the 365 crepe) is a good mid-weight material that hangs nicely. But the ivory will 100% be too sheer based on past try-ons – if you look closely you can see the line around the collar where the fabric doubles back. It will show the outline of even a nde-for-you bra.
      -Do not buy full price ever. I would say 30-40% off minimum. I usually don’t want anything even that badly and most often purchase when things are “sale-on-sale.”
      -Items in this fabric tend to run big, so if you’re between sizes go with the smaller. Vanity & unpredictable sizing is a real problem there — I can be anywhere from an XS to M (or 2 to 8) in tops there, which is maddening.
      -It’s free to become a “rewards” member and then you get free shipping on all purchases.

    • CountC

      I haven’t purchased from JCrew recently, but have in the past. That is a lovely shirt, but I would wait for a sale. $90 is steep IMO

    • SSJD

      I have been happy with J Crew quality lately. I cannot compare to Ann Taylor, as I haven’t purchased from that store in a several years, but generally they are in the same big bucket of store brands at similar price points.

    • Cat

      Longer reply is caught, but my advice – quality is usually OK but not at full price so wait for a meaningful sale, don’t buy the ivory, and likely size down.

  8. Anonymous

    Has anyone ever done a disability disclosure for job reasons? My office is putting on a show about promoting POC, disabled, and lgtbq+ folks. I am invisibly disabled and routinely get amazing performance reviews, which isn’t to say my disability doesn’t impact my job just that I’m good at managing myself. I have two reservations though 1. I want to be promoted based on my own merits 2. I’m scared it would backfire and I may be discriminated against. Thoughts?

    • Anonymous

      I wouldn’t share personally, but I respect making the opposite decision. I would have the same exact concerns that you have, plus I make a habit of not sharing anything any specific details about my medical life for privacy purposes. I don’t want questions, prying, or nosiness from my gossipy office.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t see any upside to disclosing. My spouse was fired years ago for disability-related reasons which colors my perspective.

    • Anon

      I would share your fears. Invisible disabilities are honestly different. People can’t “see” them, so they read into things and get weird. It’s like putting a sign on your own back. That’s how I feel about it. It would be different if it did affect your job such that you needed accommodations, etc., but as it is, it doesn’t seem like you have much to gain.

    • Anonymous

      I wouldn’t disclose and would voice concerns about the policy. For one thing, you are likely to run off some proportion of job candidates, both disabled and non-disabled, if you ask them to disclose disabilities during the application process for quota purposes. I have seen it happen.

    • Anon

      I have an invisible disability (chronic illness) am inclined to say you shouldn’t disclose unless you need accommodations. I hate that I feel that way, because we’d all be better off if people were more open about these things and could reduce the unnecessary stigma. Unfortunately, every time I’ve tried to let people know about my disability, I feel like it’s really backfired and resulted in them treating me differently. If you’re in a stable position of power, I might feel differently, but until then, my experience has unfortunately led me to think you’re better off keeping your mouth shut.

    • Sloan Sabbith

      I’ve always been very, very open about my chronic illness, but I’ve had periods where my invisible illness is VERY visible, I have great colleagues and supervisors overall, and I think it’s important for new attorneys or interns to see attorneys with disabilities. It’s never really been a question for me as to whether I was “out” about it because it was impossible to hide when I first started, but I see why others would be concerned. I think it really depends on the work situation and your own personal comfort with disclosing personal details.

    • Anon

      I’ve recently heard from someone in federal government that it’s difficult to get hired without being a vet, etc. or having a disability. They didn’t seem to view it as a bad thing, just a hurdle to in the federal government hiring process.

  9. M

    Saw an older American flag in a zoom call that I don’t think was intended to be in frame. Now is a Betsy Ross flag something you’d assume had a racial meaning? Especially in the absence of other historical flags? Or is this a normal wall decoration?

    • Anonymous

      Is there anyway to ask?

      I live in a 100+ year old house and while I don’t have any flags I do have lots of older things, mostly antiques, in my home. I’d be horrified if people thought that the era of my home and collectables was a reflection of my morals, rather than simply an aesthetic and quality preference.

      • Anon

        I would be annoyed, not horrified. I don’t like to associate with people who make snap judgments on something as serious as this (whether someone is racist) without having any information or context at all. Their opinions don’t mean anything to me. I say this as a fellow antique lover.

    • Anon

      I today’s climate unfortunately I’d assume it meant a January 6 actor or sympathizer. Too bad for the history buffs though.

      • Anon

        Just to be clear, my reaction would not be “I REFUSE TO WORK WITH THIS PERSON”, but it would make me wary around her. It’s sad really, but here we are.

      • Anon

        I have seen them on old historical houses in New England but they are usually accompanied by the regular flag.

    • Anon

      No, I would not assume that someone with a Betsy Ross flag is a racist. Do you not know anything else about this person to form a picture of them? Like whether or not they have an interest in history?

      • m

        I know virtually nothing about this person.

        I thought it was unfair to jump to
        racism but my immediate reaction was yikes

    • Anonymous

      The KKK has used it in addition to the confederate flag, but I don’t think that in and of itself means someone who has one is racist.

    • Cat

      Need more information. Like – I’m in Philly. Home of the Betsy Ross House. There’s plenty of them around — thought process varies from “I’m a tourist trap restaurant” to “I like antiquing in the country” to “I live in a $10M rowhouse and this framed flag is likely authentic look how rich and into history I am.”

      Perhaps there is a more sinister meaning to your colleague’s but hard to say…

    • Anon

      What on earth? Why would you assume racism based on that? My immediate thought would be family heirloom. I don’t get people sometimes.

      • Anonymous

        I live where there are a lot of military and military retirees and decorating with a flag is very much a thing in some houses. Without knowing more, I wouldn’t assume anything.

        I have some world maps that are so old as to not be current. Doesn’t mean I want East Germany back.

    • Anon

      If I was being generous I might say it’s a collector’s item or maybe a family heirloom, but…

    • Anon

      Are we all talking about the same flag? The 13 stars in a circle for the original 13 colonies? The Gadsden flag I agree has been coopted and has lost all historical meaning and now simply stands for 2A racist crazies, but not the Betsy Ross.

    • No Face

      Black person here. I would not associate a Betsy Ross flag with racism in any way.

    • LaurenB

      As a former Philadelphian, to me the Betsy Ross flag symbolizes Philadelphia pride / colonial times, nothing bad or racist. That’s not to say bad / racist people haven’t flown it, but I’m tired of having positive symbols co-opted by bad people. (That said, let me be clear that the Confederate flag is a bad symbol and gives me the chills.)

    • Anon

      Unless you see a flag obviously associated with pro-fascist, pro-Nazi, or pro-racist crowds, I wouldn’t think anything of it. Some people like historical memorabilia and hang them up in their office. If someone likes pro-fascist, pro-Nazi, or pro-racist enough to hang it visibly in their office, knowing the implications of that, I’d be very wary of that.

    • Anonymous

      Could it be? Sure, possibly. Also, without outing myself, my parents have a print of the original flag that is at the Smithsonian in a frame on the wall in their shared office. It’s just keeping with the Americana theme of that room (the rest is farmhousey, red barn & silo prints, etc.). I vote definitely possible it’s just a normal wall decoration.

    • AnonMPH

      My husband is former military and loves America and George Washington so so much, he has the Betsy Ross flag tattooed on his back. He also strives to be actively anti-racist, hates DJT, and joins BLM protests. He’s still a generic white dude with his own biases to work through, of course, I’m not saying he’s perfect. When he found out that sh*tty white supremacist groups were trying to co-op the symbol he was devastated. But he also still loves the American experiment and the thing is still on his back…
      I hope that if someone ever notices it there while he is swimming or whatever, they will ask him why he has that tattoo, and will judge him as a complete (flawed) human. But while I think that the coopting of this symbol has somewhat occurred, this thread is testament to its not having been completely subsumed.

    • cara

      A Betsy Ross flag has a racist meaning? I would have had questions about any type of confederate flag, but I didn’t know that flag was racist

    • Anon

      In Philly it’s a normal flag. Some racists have recently tried to co-opt in, but they can eat you know what. I would give anyone in a colonial era city the benefit of the doubt.

      • Anon

        Forgot to add that I thought about it and decided to keep mine. I’m not letting it be a thing.

        • Anonymous

          I agree with this approach. We can’t let extremists co-opt every symbol.

      • AIMS

        I agree! This is up there with the schools named after Lincoln getting renamed.

      • Anonymous

        Read about Trump’s Patriot Party. If you’re on those media channels it’s known.

  10. Anonymous

    Doc Martins q — it seems from Zappos reviews that people either live or hate them. If your feet hate them but you want the look, what are other brands and models to look at?

    Asking for a teen who so so, so, so hopes to wear them to school, which she hasn’t been in for over a year. [So: needs shoes for growing feet but I want her to alternatives if they fit poorly.]. She sometimes gets a wide width but that is more due to very high arches versus feet that are actually wide (my feet are similar).

    • Anonymous

      They are a very painful shoe to break in. Find a used pair of you can. Lots of people
      also sell them almost immediately because they can’t break them in.

      Also check out open toe styles, much more comfortable.

      • Anonymous

        +1
        They were popular at my high school circa 2006, and I remember them being so uncomfortable. Even when they break in, my main memory of them is they were HEAVY and felt like I was dragging around weights on my feet.

    • Anonymous

      I would not buy her Docs until school actually opens. My teenager buys her own clothes and has wisely decided not to buy any “real” shoes that she might grow out of before she gets a chance to wear them. She does have trendy sneakers and cute snowboots that she wears to walk the dog, but she’s holding off on other shoe purchases for the duration of on-line schooling.

    • Anon

      I just bought my daughter a pair and today’s the first day she wore them out and about (I mean, we don’t go anywhere but she walked a few blocks to run an outside errand.) I don’t know if her feet are killing her yet, but we both expect them to! I will update you later.

      I did suggest she break them in while wearing thin socks, an hour at a time around the house. She semi-complied with this but probably not enough.

      Also, check the size. Most people say they run large. My daughter wears a US 7 which Doc says is a UK 5, but the EU size is 38. My daughter usually wears a EU 37 so we night her the UK 4 and they fit.

      The shoes don’t have a lot of flex so expect them to slip up and down on the heel while walking, at least at first, kind of like clogs do.

      • Anon

        I concur that they run large. Wearing (breaking in) is no different than any other work boot, which is to say if she’s used to wearing sneakers or other lightweight, soft soled shoes, it’ll take some working up to spending the day in boots. That’s less a matter of “breaking in” the shoe as it is strengthening her feet and ankles to handle the added weight.

      • Anon

        Me again. She’s back and has blisters on her heels. It’s the stiffness of the back of the shoe. No pain on the bottom of her foot or anywhere else on her foot. Hydrocolloid bandaids, here we come.

        • No Problem

          Invest in some moleskin. It’s seriously a lifesaver, and it’s cheap too. She’ll need to experiment whether it’s better to put it on her feet/heels before putting on her socks, or to just put it on the inside of the heel of the shoes. Probably the former but maybe not. And she probably needs to wear thicker socks if her feet are sliding around that much.

          • Anon

            Will do. We have some in the medicine cabinet, I think.

            For anyone who’s interested, these are the ones I got her.
            https://www.drmartens.com/us/en/p/12916001

            So cute! We bought on poshmark for a not-big discount because they are basically new. Probably someone who couldn’t break them in, or bought the wrong size.

    • No Problem

      I can’t speak to Doc Martins and how they fit, but if your daughter has high arches, do her a favor and get her arch supports for her frequently worn shoes! The little gel sticky ones are great. Or any pair of shoes that has a removable insert (like athletic shoes), get full inserts with beefed up arch supports. Her future feet will thank you.

      Signed, someone whose high arches led to plantar fasciitis.

      • anon

        Yes. As someone who has high arches, I can tell you that the Doc knockoffs I wore in high school/early college were horrible for my feet and caused frequent foot cramps. They are really heavy shoes, especially if half your foot never touches the footbed!

    • Cat

      I had a pair in HS that had a soft padded portion at the top/back of the heel, which made them so much more comfortable than the other pair I had. Obviously this doesn’t apply to the boots but to the loafer styles, try to find that style?

    • Anon

      I still have a pair of DM 1461s that my parents bought me for my 13th birthday in 1993. They still fit and are one of my favorite things ever. I do not remember having trouble breaking them in, but it’s also been almost 30 years (yikes). This does not answer your question at all, but I remember being that teen who so, so, so, so hoped that they would be my “big” birthday gift that year and I am glad they are back in style.

  11. Anonymous

    What’s your advice for someone who is starting to try to think more carefully about the conditions in which her clothes are made? I’ve stuck my head in the sand for long enough on this issue, and my income is such that I have zero excuse for buying something that is made under terrible conditions or derived from slave labor. Mostly, my resolution here is to just buy less. Are there any relatively simple rules any of you follow in this regard? Like, choose a few shops you know have good practices? I don’t have time to research every purchase, and even if my husband and I are more mindful about whether we really need new clothes, we still have three quickly growing children who are very rough on their clothes. And, in this vein, any recommendations for where to buy kids’ clothes that you can be relatively assured aren’t made using the worst kinds of practices?

    • Anon

      I honestly just default to companies that brand as sustainable design – like Eileen Fisher is a big one. I don’t love most of the boxy stuff, but give me all the merino wool.

      And then I try to hold onto stuff for a long time. Sometimes I buy secondhand. We do our best but are not perfect. I don’t buy random stuff from Amazon that’s clearly manufactured in China. It’s tempting because it’s so cheap but the real cost is higher.

    • Anonymous

      The best simple decision you can make is to buy clothes secondhand. Find a good consignment store and familiarize yourself with Nextdoor and other places to get used kid clothes, often for free. I’ve never really seen the point in buying new clothes for kids when they grow as quickly as they do and when friends/family are often eager to donate them.

    • anon

      Sigh. I’ve been asking myself the same question, especially where my kids are concerned. Primary has some decent policies and is actively working to reduce the amount of plastic packaging it uses. I’ve been trying to stick with that for basics instead of running to Target. For kids, my strategy is to buy the least amount I can get away with and not create huge laundry backlogs for myself. Even if the front end isn’t perfect, it’s getting used, worn, and enjoyed. My other rule is to buy as few one-off pieces as possible — like a dress has to work for multiple occasions, not just church. (I mean, in Before Times when we weren’t doing church in our living room, wearing pajamas.) It’s hard, though. Kids are hard on things, and budget constraints when they’re growing and needing constant replacements are real.

    • No Face

      My rules:
      1. Buy less – My default is not buying clothes. Made getting dressed, keeping my room organized, and saving money easier as well!
      2. Buy used – Used clothing cover 85% of my clothing purchases. I use Ebay (if you know a specific brand), or go to small, local thrift stores that are selective in what they accept. I’m not spending all day at Goodwill.
      3. Buy American/local – Not perfect, but the workers are covered by labor laws, minimum wage, etc. I have great success with Karen Kane for me and American Giant for my husband.
      4. Accept imperfection – I can’t buy perfectly humane clothes all the time. My bras and shoes are whatever I can fit.

    • Anonymous

      Also have three kids. I tend to buy from
      H &M conscious line for basics and trend/special occasion items. Also do higher end secondhand store for one off items like a Christmas dress. Good quality Pjs from Hatley or Burts Bees so they can be passed down between kids. For outdoor gear like gear (skis, ski boots, snowshoes) I try to buy secondhand or in neutral colours so I can pass it down. Or snowsuits I look for better quality secondhand (eg Patagonia) before buying new.

      I also stalk the Patagonia sale section. REI is pretty good at responsibility too. Aim for better not perfect. And talk to your kids about how you make these choices.

      Keys are to research a handful of ethical companies and stick to buying from them vs trying to research every time you see a cute dress or coat.

    • Anonymous

      Hey Kat, what about a round up of brands making goods here? I really appreciated prior round ups of green brands and vegan shoes and hand bags.

      • Monday

        She did, but someone commented that it was mostly the companies “greenwashing.” It is very difficult to get to the bottom of what companies are actually doing vs. what they just say. My solution is to buy second-hand for everything except socks, undies, and some shoes.

    • Anonymous

      OP here – thanks for these actionable recommendations, ladies! Seconding the suggestion for a round-up on the blog, bonus points if it includes clothes for kiddos (which… I guess would be on C-Moms)

      • AIMS

        There are lots of handmade kids clothes on Etsy that I assume are made by the people selling them (not all, but enough to chose from).

    • Anonymous

      Late to the party.

      I find the easiest thing to do is buy everything used and to focus on a look I wear every day.

      All my suiting is used and the same brand. Other than that my look is all casual dresses which I buy used. I alter clothing when bored of it and also cut up worn up clothing for my kids or as doll clothing.

      No one notices repeat outfits but they do notice anything that doesn’t fit right or that is faded so I’m Super vigilant about that sort of thing.

Back to Top

About

Work with Corporette®

Serious Stuff

work fashion blog press mentions