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Updated: Feb 1, 2021 300 Comments · by

Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Mercer Cream Tweed Shift Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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How pretty is this cream tweed dress from L.K.Bennett? I love the frayed edge and the contrast trim.

Because this dress is a little shorter than I would wear for work, I would probably style it with some super opaque black tights. (I love these from Target for some extra coverage.) The dress looks great on its own, but you could also add a black blazer or even a black moto jacket if you need a topper.

The dress is $415 at L.K.Bennett and comes in U.S. sizes 2–14. 

This Calvin Klein dress is available in regular and petite sizes and on sale for $49.99 and $79.99, respectively.

Sales of note for 9.30.24

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Elizabeth

Elizabeth is a 30-something lawyer living on the East Coast. She spent seven years as a Biglaw associate in NYC, three years as a partner at a medium-sized firm, and is now in-house counsel for a large company. She loves Diet Coke, '90s sitcoms, and dresses with pockets.

Comments

  1. Velma

    This dress is so pretty, but it is 88.5 cm long. That is less than 35 inches. On me, 34.8 inches is legitimately mid-thigh–like 6-8 inches above the knee. Opaque tights will not fix that for the office, sadly.

    • Anonymous

      LK Bennett is a brand that confuses me. Most of the dresses are too girly for work, but many are also too structured for church or social occasions. I think it works if you are a duchess visiting your patronages, but that’s about it.

        • Anonymous

          It’s too fancy for my church, where it’s mostly sweater dresses in the winter and soft floral dresses in the summer. Maybe if you attend a church where women wear hats?

      • pugsnbourbon

        I can see this as an elopement or courthouse wedding dress for the right person. Someone with a bit of a vintage Jackie O vibe.

      • Anonymous

        I think some of the dresses are great for social occasions where you want an alternative to body-con looks. I am not modest for religious reasons, I just like sleeves. I also wear some of the sheath dresses and suiting to work. And the clutches, bags and shoes from this brand are great, interesting, well-made, and not too expensive.

    • Anonymous

      If 88.5 cm is measured at the back, from the neck, it will hit me 1-2 inches above knee, which is fine for work for me.

      (I’m 5 foot 6, so not tiny )

  2. Anonymous

    Cute but description says it’s “a mini skirt”. Petites could probably get away with this one.
    .

    • anon

      35″ is legitimately knee length for me, but I’m 5′ 1″, so I’d imagine this is appropriate for a very narrow sliver of the working woman population!

      • anon

        But then the waist proportion would be all wrong unless you’re short but are longwaisted. If I don’t buy petite dresses the waist would drop to my hips.

  3. Clementine

    Update from Friday: I had posted about the Great Renovation Debate between my husband and I. You guys were the MOST AMAZING sounding board and so I had to share the followup.

    So. When I called husband with the numbers (this was the $70K screened porch… which is about the same as the cost to change the layout of our kitchen and add a mudroom. Husband has always been weirdly resistant to any structural changes to our house and did (kind of jerkishly) basically tell me that I should just do a better job of keeping the kids’ stuff in their rooms/the coat closet at the other end of the house.

    WELL. After talking it out with all of you (thank you!), I realized that… we’re never gonna use that deck, why not tear out the old screened porch, do a small metal balcony/railing for the second floor and then just do a nice patio. This will still have some costs but it will be both a fraction of the costs AND it actually fits the life we have.

    He also literally stunned me by coming around on the kitchen changes. The finishes on our kitchen are fine – it’s not an aesthetic thing. The changes we would want involve moving and removing walls and the costs I was quoted were much less than my husband would thought it would be.

    (It also really helps that both my MIL and FIL are team ‘what? You COULD make your wife’s life easier and aren’t? What the heck!’ and my retired engineer FIL is already sketching designs out. Have I told you guys I have great in-laws?)

    • Clementine

      To clarify: husband loves the new idea of going with a patio, fully agrees it works 100x better for our life, and is also seeing my point of view with our need for a better entry space.

      • Panda Bear

        Good for you! Now will you come over and sell my husband on my kitchen remodel ideas?

    • Anonymous

      Awesome! Thanks for the follow-up–it’s always nice to hear how these things turn out for internet “friends.”

    • Anon

      Congrats! Although I resent your husband for a) assuming it is your job to corral the kids’ stuff (are his arms or their arms broken?!?) and b) telling you you were doing a substandard job. Hope he’s more supportive otherwise.

  4. Anon

    Love this dress. I’m only 5’4 so it’d probably be the perfect length too

  5. Ellen

    I agree with Velma. This dress is for svelte twenty somethings, and only those who have the tuchus for it. There is not alot of material and no one wants to be seen as being poured into the dress. And forget it if you have to reach for a book on the shelf. In my office, Frank would follow me until he could sneak a peek to see my panties. How ridiculus is that? A grown man with a nice wife straining just to see what? What a jerk somemen are, and we are only playing into their fantasies by wearing dresses that are 6-8 inches above the knee. Taken to it’s logical extreme, why don’t we just come into work wearing a Danskin with nothing else? Let’s enable these dirtbags! So they get to see all of our legs and tuchii and don’t even have to wait to start their oooogleing! I’m being sarcastic! But TRIPEL FOOEY on men like that!

  6. ThirdJen

    It’s only 9:07 on Monday and already I’m exhausted from this male-dominated work environment and its accompanying cultural bullshirt. I’m working from home and have been turning my camera and mic off and cursing everyone on my meetings out, then popping back in – anyone got any other quick blow off steam rituals?

    • Shananana

      I was just coming here to write almost the same, cause same. In addition to rituals (since working from home mine usually looks like walking away from my computer for 15 mins) anyone also have any ideas for how to deal with the constant interrupter/interrogator being someone two roles above yours? Its put up or leave isn’t it? ready to rage quit but know that’s not reasonable and need to move past it.

      • ThirdJen

        I have settled for documenting every single instance of the worst offender, sending my notes after the meeting, and refusing half the meetings in favor of getting requests in email rather than yet another phone call that he’s unprepared for but berates me for not knowing where stuff is. Channeling my rage into extremely petty documentation…not very satisfying.

    • Veronica Mars

      When I was in that boat a couple years ago, I got completely fed up and decided if I had to deal with all this BS at work, I’d at least get the dog I’d always wanted. So I went to the pound and adopted my sweet rescue, who now helps me with belly rubs whenever work gets too stressful. So…. get a dog? 10/10

    • Anonymous

      I’d stop with the playing with audio and visual—they can probably tell what’s up more than you realize, one of these times you aren’t going to be so lucky and it only feeds the rage (the whole make yourself smile and you’re body starts to actually feel better thing). I prefer neutral distraction—make grocery lists, put an article up on screen, work on emails, plan to-do lists—whatever keeps your mind off the present. A jerk seeing you not paying attention is more powerful than popping away and coming back anytime you don’t like the convo.

      • Cat

        Yes. My favorite for “why was I invited to this meeting?” calls is actually joining the video from my phone or iPad and setting it up in front of my monitor- so that I can multitask on my monitor behind it (on mute) while looking like I’m paying rapt, neutral attention.

      • cara

        I do this too – read corporette, clean out by inbox (including sending the people in the meetings emails or calendar invites when that comes up), post in slack channels when needed – basically really do my owrk and not be beholden to whoever is eating up my time.

      • Winter

        Yes, please be careful with mute. A former boss of mine lost the firm a significant client due to things that he said about a clients’ client when he thought we were muted. The clients’ client refused to work with client if he continued to retain us, after he heard what my boss really thought of him. All of the remarks were justified…as I’m sure your situation is as well…but please just don’t play with fire like that. Not to sound overly paranoid, but never trust mute or trust that the camera is off.

    • aBr

      Fidget cube or toy. Having something silent to play with during these meetings really helps.

    • Anon

      I wonder if we are coworkers…

      Love my industry but hate how male dominated it is and how TERRIBLE some of the men are

      • Anony

        Ditto. And the terrible ones keep getting promoted. It’s so frustrating and demoralizing.

    • Nesprin

      Someday I will start a dinner society named “Club the Patriarchy” for all the wonderful, talented women working within a hierarchy of schmucks. I have a great time imagining what I would serve, door prizes for the worst man of the week etc.

  7. Decorating help - NYC

    Does anyone know if there are services that can be hired (preferably with internet only consults) who can help me decorate and arrange a space? I also need to pick out a new dining room table, so furniture sourcing is helpful too. I bought a co-op and moved in 15 months ago and I still haven’t hung any shelves or art, painted any rooms other than a bathroom where I think I picked the color wrong, I think my furniture doesn’t work in the space anymore, and I’m just at a loss of what to do. I’ve bought some furniture pieces I love, but can’t figure out how to make them work cohesively.

    Any recommendations? I don’t even know what a budget needs to be for this but I just need a place to start.

    • CHL

      If you don’t want to work with an individual decorator (I don’t know any in NYC) had good luck with Modsy. You don’t have to buy the exact pieces they recommend but it was helpful for me on layout and general aesthetic.

    • Anon

      Check out Modsy?
      We used them for 2 of our rooms. One room we had very specific needs that I don’t know they added a ton of value to. The other was an open slate – you get two designs for each room, and while one for this room was a snooze fest, the other one totally nailed it and I love the end result.

        • Anon

          It’s only like a a couple to a few hundred dollars – if that – depending on the kind of options you choose. The website should lay it out pretty easily.

    • Anon

      Modsy, for sure. If you’re looking for cutting edge design, they’re not it. But they’re perfectly sufficient and helped me, someone who is majorly indecisive, make some choices. I like their feature where you can swap in/out different pieces very seamlessly in their design renderings.

    • Anonanonanon2

      Maximizing Tiny on insta is great. Currently in the process of working with her and have nothing but wonderful things to say. Look at her highlight called “Virtual Case.” It seems like a low budget redo with a layout change and minor aesthetic changes and it made a huge difference, it sold me on using her.

    • Anon

      My lessons learned. First, pick a designer with a similar style to you. If you don’t know your style, fall down an instagram/Houzz rabbit hole about what you like and are drawn to — this might also help you figure out what to do and mitigate the need for a designer. Sometimes people can design outside their “look,” other times you will just but heads. Second, get real about your priorities. We had a mismatch with a designer that came highly recommended by friends because we were not looking to “knock off” a certain aesthetic (e.g., find the pieces for 1/3 of the price on Wayfair) but were looking for sourcing of unique pieces that would last for years. Third, get real about your budget. Reaching out to designers with I have so much to do this room, is this something in your wheelhouse is so much more productive to everyone as people will politely say, that is too small a project for me, you might want to look at [insert recommendation]. It saves everyone time. Finally, on the budget, if you are looking at an interior designer, typical budgets would range at least $10,000 (including furniture). Figure about a 20-30% add for the designer versus the furniture you’d normal buy — some of this is their costs, other parts are the fact that they’d probably get you to buy more than just the dinning room table and chairs.

    • SH

      I’ve used both Modsy and Havenly for this kind of thing. Modsy is great if you need more help visualizing furniture in your space. You don’t have as much control over choosing your designer and communicating with them is not the greatest or most straightforward experience. If you really want to talk things our with a designer, Havenly is the way to go. They don’t do a great job with the visual rendering (nothing 3D), but you do get yo look through designer portfolios and pick one that speaks to you the most, and the designers I’ve worked with have been available for FaceTime, video messages, and text.

      Price wise, I found both to be comparable. Check to make sure that you’re taking advantage of promotions or codes before going ahead and paying full price for the service. And always ask if there are specials/discounts for the pieces you purchase from the design

  8. Anon

    Y’all. My longtime problem employee (been addressing and documenting her issues with both attendance and work quality/quantity for 2 years with only limited movement from HR. Yay state government!) had a resignation email waiting for me when I logged in today. Accepted immediately and no take-backsies!
    Best Monday morning ever.

    • Clementine

      As a fellow government supervisor who has a couple problem employees… AMAZING. Congratulations!

    • Anon

      Yay!!! I was the one chiming in with all of your stories that I was dealing with the same type of employee and she also resigned a couple of months ago! I am not uncovering the vastness of how terrible her work was. She was legit pretending to work at times and totally covering it up.

      • Anon

        I don’t think I’m that same person, but I hope that poster sees the back of her problem person, too!

    • Anonanonanon2

      Yessss! Got rid of one of these recently. Someone else picked up her duties in addition to their existing duties and has already done more in 2 months that she did in 18. Truly astonishing. Also don’t miss laboring over every email to avoid offending her.

  9. Anon

    What are people doing about covid and groceries/surfaces these days? I know the scientists are saying surface transmission is nowhere near as likely to give you covid as person-to-person transmission, but they also still say it’s important to frequently wash your hands. For groceries that you can’t just let sit out for a few days (e.g., yogurt, milk, hummus), what are people doing? I would like to stop worrying about this (my dry hands can’t take all the washing!) but I am still trying to be very careful. I have slight OCD tendencies that aren’t just related to covid so I’m having a hard time figuring out what’s reasonable risk management and what’s not. I’m not trying to create fear, just genuinely wanting to hear how others are addressing this now! Thanks.

    • busybee

      Nothing. I put away my groceries as soon as I bring them in and then wash my hands, same as I’ve done for the past decade or so.

      • Anon

        Same.

        Even earlier in the pandemic I never wiped down or quarantined groceries/mail/packages.

        I spent my spring and summer working 90 hour weeks on non-medical Covid response and I lived alone. I didn’t have time or energy to worry about that. Work is ramping up again and so once again – Im not concerned about this but even if u was, I don’t have the mental energy to spend on this

      • Anonymous

        +1. I wash hands before putting them away right after I come in from outside (I live in an apartment building). I don’t think I remember to wash after putting them away. I try to wash before I eat. That’s it.

      • Thanks, it has pockets!

        Same. I’ve never washed my groceries, even when that was apparently a thing people were doing. I might wash my hands both before AND after putting groceries away, but that’s about it.

        I also try to remember to wash my hands after popping out to grab mail, take out the trash, or go to the laundry room in my building, but I’ll admit I’ve gotten lazy about that in recent months.

    • Anonymous

      I have never done anything special with my groceries and it seems abundantly clear, and has for many months, that wiping down groceries with bleach or sequestering them for days is completely unnecessary.

    • Anon

      Please go read up on this or talk to your therapist. Dr Fauci is not reading these comments

    • Anon

      I’m doing nothing. I buy my groceries and I put them away or use them as I need them. I do make a point of shopping at stores where I know the staff and customers are doing what they’re supposed to do re: masks and maintaining distance.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve been wondering about this too. We were all advised to wear gloves while dealing with a person with Covid‘s laundry, use disinfectant, etc for so long that it’s hard to just turn that off while the pandemic still rages. The best I have seen is that infectious disease specialists do not believe that surface transmission is “the primary” mode of transmission, but it’s not impossible. What it means for me in practice is that I keep doing what I did before, which is that I wash my hands after handling groceries or touching things like gas pumps, but I don’t sanitize each individual grocery item. When I get takeout, I transfer it onto real plates, which has been a nice change anyway.

    • Cat

      We aren’t doing anything special (other than, as usual, sanitizing in the car and then washing hands after putting away) because the odds that:
      1. The groceries in question were coughed on so recently that there are infectious droplets on them,
      2. Such droplets that came into contact with our fingertips as we chose and stowed the groceries weren’t washed off with the sanitizing and handwashing,
      3. Any remaining droplets on the groceries still have surviving virus after the time spent in the cabinet or fridge,
      4. The remaining quantity of virus at that point being large enough to be infectious, and
      5. That infectious virus coming into contact with a mucous membrane (as opposed to quickly killed in the mouth)…

      Not worrying about it.

      • Z

        This is my thinking about it as well. A lot of very specific and unlikely things would have to happen for you to get infected from a grocery item.
        Wipe down the fridge and cabinet handles if it makes you feel better. Just follow normal food safety guidelines and wash your hands often while preparing food.

    • Anon

      To everyone swooping in to be the first with a rude response (congrats on your speed?), OP is responding to guidance that we were all given during an extremely novel and confusing pandemic. You being cruel about it reflects poorly on you, not her. OP, I focus on washing my hands a lot, but not on washing items. That seems to be reasonable for me as a high-risk person.

      • Anon

        Contest to you on being sanctimonious! We’ve been in this pandemic for the better part of a year and given OP’s post, and past responses hete, she was bound to create some criticism.

      • Anon

        I’m not one of the rude responders (I actually don’t think there are that many rude responders as of this writing?) But that guidance was given (if it was even ever official guidance?) 11 months ago, with official rebuttals to it as early as April, that can be found with a simple Google search. I think people are being so blunt about it because they are trying to convey that this is one of those things there shouldn’t even be a debate in one’s head at this point.

        • Anon

          My least favorite kind of person in the world is the person who goes “one thing you’ll get to know about me is that I’m really blunt!” 99 times out of a 100, that person is just rude or a jerk for no reason at all. Today is no exception.

          • Anon

            Cool story. Doesn’t change the fact that posting here should not be used in lieu of a Google search.

          • Anon

            …..From one responder….these attacks are so weird, no one else is being rude but you?

          • Anon

            I’m the “original” rude responder, but all of the responses are not from me, so I guess others are now being either “blunt” or “rude,” depending on who you ask. My point was that the information is available through other sources. Huge pet peeve of mine is people who crowdsource opinions in place of actual research, which a LOT of folks around here are very guilty of.

          • Anon

            Anon at 10:28 then you are in the WRONG place. That’s basically what this place is, crowdsourcing about everything. Maybe ask your therapist why it bugs you so much when people do it about this particular topic, and why you think you get to decide what everyone talks about here.

          • Anonymous

            I agree. This site’s comments section literally exists for crowdsourcing. That’s its purpose.

          • anon

            Not all questions need to be crowdsourced. This is one of them. 70+ opinions don’t change the fact that surface transmission isn’t a cause for concern.

      • busybee

        As of writing this at 10:40, I don’t see how anyone has been rude or cruel.

    • Anon

      I didn’t wipe clean groceries back in March. I don’t do it now. I think the washing hands frequently is more to do with in case you had close contact with an unknowing sick person than it is a box of cereal.

    • anon

      You can stop wiping down groceries, I promise. All reputable health organizations have said that’s not necessary. That said, I still wash my hands thoroughly when I get home, but I’ve always done that because they feel grimy and gross.

    • Ribena

      Doing nothing other than washing my hands when I get in from the supermarket and again after I put things away. Back in April I was letting non-perishables sit in the bag I brought them home in for a couple of days, just in case, but we know more now about surface transmission – ie that it’s vanishingly rare.
      NB though that I am not clinically vulnerable and I live alone so I control what’s coming into my home and when.

    • Anon

      You can’t get COVID from groceries. I don’t do anything different. I just put them away. I think your OCD is affecting you here.

      • Anonymous

        No health officials are saying “can’t.” They say “very unlikely.” On this subject, whatever happened to that poster here from months and months ago who said she got COVID despite not leaving her apartment at all and getting groceries delivered? I hope she’s okay. If you’re reading here, did you ever learn more about how you might have been exposed?

    • Anon

      I did the full wipe down back in March-April before it became clear that the spread was 99% airborne rather than surface-borne. Then as the scientists’ understanding evolved I stopped.

      I will say for carry-out/delivery I still dump everything on a plate, throw out wrappers or containers, wash my hands, then eat. I think this is good practice covid or not, but it was really covid that taught me the importance of it

        • Anon

          You can come sit by me. I appreciate fancy for any occasion, including takeout burritos.

      • Anonymous

        The chief medical officer for the Covid response at CDC says you don’t need to wash your groceries (as of last month), but that you should still wash your hands after dealing with them. I think that’s probably the best approach to most people. He does say that if high-risk people feel comfortable doing more, they should do so.

    • Anon

      I sanitize groceries. I don’t want to worry about washing my hands every time I touch something I’m about to eat; that’s not the way I want to live in my own house. That said, I don’t think fomite transmission of coronavirus is a major concern; I’m thinking more of other germs and pathogens where fomite transmission is more firmly established.

    • anon a mouse

      We no longer wipe down our groceries. But OP, I agree the guidance is confusing. Our library is still quarantining items for 7 days after return and I don’t quite understand why library books need that but groceries don’t.

      • Anon

        They probably don’t but it’s good practice for a library to avoid accusations and unnecessary litigation of people complaining they got covid from a book.

      • AFT

        I’m also frustrated by this – particularly when I get nudged about my overdue books that are sitting in a box in the library at that point. My library did recently drop quarantine to 3 days.
        One thought i had is that the library using population probably trends senior, so it may be that the staff wants to make it abundantly clear that the books are safe for senior citizens who may be very cautious/not up on newer research about surface transmission.

        • Anonymous

          Bwahahahaha at the idea of senior citizens caring about COVID safety. They are the worst offenders.

    • LaurenB

      I just bring them in as usual and wash my hands. Pretty early on it was established that the primary transmission means was airborne, not surface.

    • Anon

      I’m pretty COVID cautious, in a early and scary hotspot back in March, and haven’t done anything to my groceries this whole time.

    • Anon

      I still sanitize all packaging and wash my fruits and veggies in a vinegar and water wash (which is good practice in normal times). It doesn’t take that long since I switch to a diluted bleach spray. I put away the cold items immediately and let the pantry items languish until they dry. It’s become routine at this point.

      To be fair I also only do curbside pick up so my grocery related time weekly isn’t that much.

    • Anonymous

      I’m sure I’m in the minority, but I’m still being somewhat cautious with items brought in from outside the house, although not to the same degree as I was back in March. I’m most cautious with packages that go into the fridge or freezer because those environments will preserve viruses. I spray down packages that go into the fridge or freezer with Force of Nature nontoxic cleaner. This adds a few minutes to the grocery unpacking process. To me the peace of mind is worth the extra effort. As it did before the pandemic, produce comes out of its bag and goes into a Rubbermaid FreshWorks container to keep it fresh, and bread goes into a reused Ziploc in the freezer. Packaged foods that live at room temperature generally go straight into the pantry, where they usually sit for a few days before anyone touches them.

      I’ve been washing my hands upon entering the house for years. It started when I had little kids with nasty day care germs.

    • Anon

      I use a spray bottle of alcohol and a paper towel to wipe down things that will go in the refrigerator and be touched repeatedly (milk cartons, hummus, etc,) so that I don’t have to worry about washing my hands every time I touch them. Single serve packages go in one part of the fridge and don’t get sanitized, I just wash my hands after I open them. Everything nonperishable sits in the garage for a couple days before it comes in the house. I agree that the risk of getting covid from my groceries is quite low, but it’s not nothing (COVID is fairly stable at fridge and freezer temp) and since this adds less than 5 minutes of work every 3 weeks, I figure it’s worth it to be less worried about having to wash my hands all the time and not touch my face, which I do constantly. I would understand why people with less space or those who shop more often might find this to be more work and not worth it, but for me, it’s really easy to do.

      • Anon

        I agree that a spray bottle of alcohol or hydrogen peroxide makes this much easier. The paper towels also sometimes show that I am removing some S&H or warehouse grime in the process, which I’m definitely okay with doing!

        I personally have a mild primary immune deficiency and have not gotten sick with an infection since March, which has been eye opening for me (I don’t actually have to get sick constantly!). In the future, post pandemic, I would much rather get sick from a social event that was important to me than from forgetting to wash my hands after touching a can.

      • Nesprin

        Side note from a bio lab worker: your alcohol should be 70% to be sufficiently sterilizing, and it has to evaporate for full efficacy. Hydrogen peroxide is something I would not want to spray/ breathe in, though it breaks down so fast with light that you probably wouldn’t.

        • Anon

          Haha, my spray bottle is exactly 70% isopropanol. I spent a decade working in a micro lab and it shows in my house. Everything is labeled, anything prone to spillage has secondary containment, I can’t stand to set down the lids of containers or see the lids of anything left off for more than a few seconds. Sterile technique is firmly ingrained! I’m not actually a germophobe and will eat things well past their expiration date if they look/smell fine, I just want to keep them that way as long as possible. I also would be careful about spraying hydrogen peroxide and avoid bleach unless absolutely necessary as it’s a strong respiratory irritant.

    • anon

      I am doing nothing with groceries. In fact, I’m not even using hand sanitizer after touching elevator buttons anymore. I’m way more likely to get Covid from my coworkers who refuse to wear masks than I am from surface contact of any sort.

        • anon@11:57

          Right, I know it’s possible. But the CDC has said surface contact is not the primary method of transmission. Even in that report, the cluster is believed to have started with an elevator button, but the spread to 70 additional people was because those people had close, extended, indoor contact.

          I only have so much energy to be scared everyday. I am far more worried about the people who walk in and out of my office, or “ask” me to sit in on conference calls in their offices, when they won’t wear masks. Half my office has had Covid, and they still won’t let us WFH or require masks.

          • Anon

            Check your state’s workers compensation rules for covid presumptions. In many states, if you are required to work in the office and you get covid, your covid is presumed to be work related. Which means all medical plus your time off is a covered workers’ compensation claims. Most workplaces are terrified of workers’ compensation claims because it raises the cost of their insurance in future years.

          • anon@11:57

            Good thought. My state has passed Covid liability protections for businesses/employers. It falls under workers’ comp–you can’t bring a tort claim–unless the exposure to Covid was intentional. I doubt anyone could prove that unless a Covid-positive boss literally coughed in your face and laughed about it. But under workers’ comp, there’s only liability if the business substantially failed to comply with federal, state or local law AND acted with gross negligence or reckless misconduct. Our state has a mask mandate, but it only applies to places open to the public, not to private offices. So there’d be no recovery from workers’ comp either in my state.

    • Anonymous

      I wipe down cans and bottles of cold drinks where the drink will be poured through a surface people will normally touch, whether that is me, a cashier or other shoppers.

      I use a microfiber cloth, not disinfectant. It’s a peace of mind thing, not a «sanitize everything» thing.

    • Anonymous

      I am washing with a bleach spray anything that goes into the refrigerator or freezer, which I have been limiting severely since the beginning anyway so there isn’t a lot, and then for everything else using the 3-day, 2-day and 1-day bins we set up in the garage at the (announced) start of the pandemic. (I have a special white smock for cleaning and sorting since I ruined my favorite LLL pants with bleach early on.) Anything coming into the house gets put in the 3-day box and then transferred to the next box daily before coming into ths house on day 4. Shoes get a rinse-down and stay in the garage until next wearing, which tends to be not very often since we really only leave the house once or twice a month.. (Slippers and Uggs forevah!) The sorting isn’t that big a deal. I just made it a mid-day routine and decided I can’t eat lunch until it is done.

      • LaurenB

        This level of quarantining-in-the-garage seems overkill unless you are working on a ward actually treating COVID patients and need to change your clothing in the garage.

        • Anon

          I know health care workers who strip down in a next-to-the-garage bathroom, shower, and put their clothes into the wash always immediately after coming home from work. But that is more from routine germs, diseases, and biohazards vs COVID. They don’t do anything extra with package or groceries.

        • Dear+Summer

          So what if it is? Why is it bad to be slightly more careful than “needed” in order to prevent catching or spreading a plague?

          • anon

            She didn’t say it was bad just that it was not needed for most people. Idk why you’re so obsessed with old guidance despite all we’ve learned in the past year.

          • Anonish

            See? I feel like any COVID precaution talk needs to be banned here as a) severely off topic and b) guaranteed to devolve into name calling.

      • cHal

        Don’t move the stuff – move the labels. If it’s too risky to bring in the house, why are you touching it at all?

    • Anonymous

      We wipe down groceries we put in the fridge or freezer with Clorox wipes; shelf-stable stuff gets left in the garage for 3 days. We reheat all takeout in the oven for 10 min at 350. (And we haven’t been buying stuff we can’t reheat.)

      Yes we’re extreme but it isn’t that huge of an onus on us.

      Yes they tell you that surface isn’t the “primary transmission” method but a) that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen — just that most people have a lot more obvious sources of infection because they’re not being careful

      https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/national/427446/rubbish-bin-the-likely-source-of-covid-infection

      and b) we live in a place where there are a LOT of people who think COVID is a joke and I wouldn’t put it past someone to spit in a soda or salad dressing for a curbside/takeout order because they thought it was “funny”

      • LaurenB

        I wonder if in those areas where lots of people think Covid is a joke / hoax, that those who take precautions wind up going to the other extreme because they can’t reasonably trust those around them. I’m now in Florida (moved here a week ago) and it’s not the hell hole that I thought — but we’ve been mostly in big-box stores buying things for our home and everyone’s wearing masks and keeping distance. I’m pleasantly surprised. That said, I’m not going to the bars or places where they aren’t taking it seriously.

        • Anonymous

          To answer the question in your first sentence, yes, absolutely. Nobody around here wears their masks over their noses, so I don’t go into stores anymore. The school district is not enforcing the mask requirement, is having kids take off their masks to eat lunch less than 3 feet apart in classrooms, has prohibited teachers from opening windows and doors to increase ventilation, and has kids participating in contact sports without masks, so we’ve taken the on-line option. Friends and family are attending unmasked indoor gatherings, so our household is not seeing anyone in person until we are vaccinated and community spread is under control. If we could rely on people to wear their @#$ masks and act sensibly, we’d be more willing to have in-person interactions.

    • Booties

      Interesting thread.

      I’m a doctor. All of my groceries are delivered – I don’t shop in stores. I live with an elderly, high risk family member.

      I essentially do the same as I did in March. Groceries get dropped off. I put on a pair of gloves (that I reuse and clean with hand sanitizer between uses) and unpack and wipe everything down with an anti-bacterial spray or sterilizing cloth and wash veg etc.. It’s such a routine that it isn’t a big deal for me. I will continue until we are all immunized, most likely, and while I am getting groceries delivered.

      And to the OP. If you are having a hard time with your hands, I recommend switching to Dove soap and avoiding hand sanitizers which are often very drying. I always prefer washing my hands well with soap and water instead of using hand sanitizer when I’m at home.

    • Anon

      The best answer for this (and the vast majority of COVID-related questions) is to research and find guidance from reputable sources (CDC, WHO, major hospitals, professional medical organizations, etc). Anonymous people reading a fashion blog is NOT a reliable source. With most of the COVID posts here there is a ton of wrong or misleading information. Our COVID situation is a mess, and all the misinformation does not help. I know (hope) most of the posters are well-intentioned, but there is so much misinterpretation/misunderstanding of medical information and reliance on not great sources .

      • Anonymous

        The CDC and the WHO are no longer reputable sources of information. They were the ones insisting for months that there was no airborne spread. I am looking to universities and individual scientists such as Linsey Marr.

      • Anon

        I consider it a case study in the failures of our public health institutions to communicate clear and actionable information effectively to people seeking it. It’s not as though people here have no exposure to public health guidance. This is what we’ve taken away from it.

  10. PhD?

    Advice from those who have managed to finish a PhD? I’m in my first year, social sciences, and feeling down about lack of progress. I’m based in the EU, and the program is 3-5 years unlike longer US PhDs. I have a general direction and some vague ideas for papers but nothing concrete and I am not sure about my methodological approach. And most importantly, have not started writing. Very high expectations from my supervisor, so I constantly feel like I am behind/ashamed about progress/nervous to present unfinished ideas. I’d be interested to hear from people who managed such a relationship with their supervisor well, and also how you decided on the approach you would take/managed to make initial progress.

    • Cb

      I have my PhD in political science, in the UK so similarly short PhD process. A few things that helped – a weekly writing group (now virtual), set deadlines with supervisor to give myself accountability, free writing. But honestly, in my field, the first year is for lots of reading and thinking, not a whole lot of writing. Nothing I wrote in my first year was usable. Get your ref manager sorted NOW, I still do it by hand and it is horrible and painful.
      One thing I wish my (great, but harsh) supervisor had told me re methods was to make a list of every single decision I made – who I wanted to interview, how, which documents, where, how would I analyse them, etc and justify it with reference to the literature. I got bogged down in creating a polished methods chapter when in reality, this was the last thing I wrote.
      Also, if there is anything else you might enjoy doing more, there is no shame in dropping out and doing just that. I loved my PhD experience but the precarity sucks and it’s a hard slog.
      If you want to chat more, post a burner and I’ll email you.

    • MarieCurie

      Shame and anxiety are normal for PhD candidates. No one thinks they’re good enough – but you are. Don’t be afraid to talk about unfinished ideas. It’s extremely important to do so since talking about them is what will move them along. Give yourself a deadline to talk to your supervisor, or a fellow student. Get the train moving! (I’m in a lab science but my experience is that the most successful scientists spend the most time talking to people.)

      I’m going to relay some observations from a buddy who got her PhD in history. Short term goals are your friend. She compared the history and classics department at her (US) university. Classics had a ton of steps to PhD – something like pre-proposal, proposal, first review, etc. Having attainable, shorter term goals kept students moving through the program. As a result, the time-to-PhD was something like 5-6 years, as opposed to history where it was 10 years.

    • anon

      Agree with the above. I did a PhD in political science in the US, and it was characterized by misery and self loathing. You need to discuss unfinished ideas, and often. In the year before I really began my dissertation writing in earnest, it felt like a constant cycle of me having an idea that I really thought could work, taking it to my advisors, them poking a ton of holes in it and us agreeing that it wouldn’t. until one day with 1 idea the reaction was different. I could have sped that process up just by not being so afraid of talking to my advisors about half baked stuff. If you’re not 100% sure about something (and by sure, I mean you have alignment with everyone who matters on the path forward) you need to talk it out.

      Also, when I got into the research and writing phase, I would block certain hours of my day for writing. like, when 4pm rolled around, I must absolutely be writing and generating content and words on a page. Doesn’t matter if I feel ready or how good I think the stuff is. I did this in 4 hour blocks, twice daily, but you can find something that works for you. You very much have to set your own deadlines and stick to them.

      • anon

        THIS. My PhD is in STEM, so the whole setup is very different. But learning to expose half-baked ideas or share an early draft and have it come back with red ink all over is the absolute best and most efficient way to make progress. It’s uncomfortable at first, but it gets better with practice.

    • No Problem

      Note: I don’t have a PhD, but I know many who do.

      One colleague described getting her PhD as “intellectual hazing.” Another described essentially starting with an idea, having it shot down, sifting through a million other ideas that got shot down, then returning to the original one which was finally accepted. It seems his advisor wanted him to spend time thinking through and researching and talking about a whole bunch of things before finally settling on something. His advisor wanted him to present tons of unfinished ideas! It was all a process to learn how to think of things, think of the counterpoints, think of the possible methods, etc. etc. to really hone his research skills and instincts. That first idea probably was great, but his advisor’s job was to teach him how to do all of the critical thinking so that he could evaluate on his own whether something was a great idea. I think that’s what my other colleague thought of as intellectual hazing.

      Again, I don’t have a PhD and haven’t attempted one. But based on what I’ve learned from others who have done it in all kinds of fields, the process of getting the PhD is at least as important as the outcome (dissertation). If you can keep that in mind, it will make the whole thing more tolerable.

      • Anon

        Intellectual hazing? That sounds awful and really dampens my interest in pursuing higher education.

        • Anon

          I think 99% of people, including academics, will tell you not to pursue higher education.

          • No Problem

            Yup. The PhD is training for becoming an academic. Academics is actually rather cutthroat (at least in the US in most fields). You have to be top of your game in knowledge, research methods, and innovative ideas to float to the top. That’s why getting a PhD is difficult. (And yes, plenty of PhDs work outside of academia, particularly in the hard sciences and economics. But those jobs also require depth of knowledge, research methods, and innovative ideas.)

          • Anon

            It’s not just that the cream rises to the top either. Everyone who succeeds in academia is a star in some way. But everyone who succeeds in academia also knows someone really, really valuable to their field–one of the best scholars of their generation–who did not succeed. I think too many would-be academics hear this and think, “They’re saying I may not be good enough, but I think I am.” That’s not what’s being said.

    • Anonymous

      I did my PhD in Canada which sort of falls between the EU/UK and US programs in terms of length, I didn’t start writing any of the actual chapters of my dissertation until at least halfway through my second year. The first 1.5 years were courses (probably not applicable to you), comprehensive exams, and thesis proposal defense. I collected data and wrote for the next 1.5 years, turned in my dissertation to my committee at 3.25 years and defended at 3.5 years.

    • Anonymous

      I finished a life sciences Ph.D. in the last couple of years, very late in life, and having just become a widow. A few months there was a short period of time when I, and my supervisor, wondered if I could continue. But that phase passed. What helped: (1) Setting up regular meetings with my supervisor; using a simple shorthand notebook to (a) list topics I wanted to talk about, and (b) things to do or topics raised by my supervisor at those meetings. (2) Using Ref Manager to keep track of all papers found, even if I had not yet read them, often with a one-line note of why I had kept that reference.. (3) AWAYS and EVERY DAY keeping my research notebook up to date (not just experiment information but how I had spent the day) – a sort of Ph.D journal.
      What went into the my dissertation was very different from the original ideas but these three things gave a concrete structure to my work. But the first phase was very depressing.

  11. SSJD

    Vilagallo–anyone know the brand? Any experience with their clothing? How is the quality? How is the fit? Came across it online in the boutique of a store I love in my old hometown.

  12. Anon

    I’m trying to create a winter/spring WFH uniform that involves a presentable sweatshirt, leggings, and sneakers. Has anyone found a nice-ish looking sweatshirt that comes in several colors and isn’t too expensive? Ideally I’d layer this over a tank top in the summer but that’s not essential.

  13. Annonnn

    I’m new to outdoor running and trying to figure out what to do with my phone, especially once it gets warm enough to switch to shorts. (I live in the SEUS and warm weather is already creeping in.) Has anyone found running shorts that have a phone pocket? Most seem to just have small one for keys. I really don’t want to keep it in my hand as I think it will slip out, but those arm bands seem like they would be bothersome. Is that the only solution? What do y’all do? If you do use an arm band, have you found one that isn’t too heavy or irritating? TIA!

    • SSJD

      Try the Spibelt. I personally like to leave my phone at home, but on occasions when I need it, this works great. It’s also a great way to carry keys, tissues, chapstick, etc. when I have no pockets. (Why do they make exercise clothing with not pockets?!)

      Also, my Oiselle running shorts do have a back pocket that holds my phone. The style I have is the Long Roga shorts.

    • No Problem

      Get a running belt. I think Spi is one popular brand but there are others. I used an armband (several actually, for different phones) for years and never had one that was the right size for my arm (the “big” setting was too big and the “small” setting was too small), and it was just uncomfortable and impossible to get the phone in and out without removing the arm band. Plus with bigger phones these days, you don’t want something that big weighing down one arm. The running belt is miles better. Mine has two pouches, a bigger one and a smaller one. I put my phone in the bigger one and my ID/credit card/keys in the smaller one. I don’t even notice I’m wearing it.

    • Anonymous

      The arm bands are definitely bothersome. I’m considering running in a bike jersey that has a lumbar pocket for my phone since I think it would be less annoying there and I don’t like buying a special one-use item like a belt if I can avoid it. Otherwise, I just carry my phone in my hand and lament the fact that women’s clothes never have functional pockets.

    • Anon

      I leave it at home. If I’m WAY out in the woods and going a long distance, I’ll bring my Camelbak, which has room for a phone, but otherwise, it stays home. You don’t need a phone for couple-of-miles long run.

      • Anon

        I’m assuming you live rural, rich gated suburb, or in a country with much less crime. In general, a woman running alone should absolutely carry a phone for emergencies, and I’d venture to say they should carry mace or a stabbing implement (there are key chains with this) as well.

        • Anon

          Dude… I live in a plain old American neighborhood, and a pretty low-rent one by the standards of this board. You do not need all that stuff (and I’ve been running since “being prepared for an emergency” meant bringing a quarter for the payphone if you cramped up on a long run during marathon training) for a jog in the neighborhood. Nobody is hiding in the bushes waiting for a rando runner to come by.

          • Anon

            Not true, actually. It’s fine if you don’t want to carry a phone, but I know of a bunch of terrifying incidents involving female runners, including one murder, and all committed by strangers/randomly. They don’t stop me from running, but I do take precautions.

          • Anon

            I generally throw caution to the wind, but in my city you hear about a woman being attacked while running probably like 5 times a year. It definitely happens. Like I (pre covid) would walk home alone late at night (always with a phone, if I needed it) and think nothing of it, but I also would never run without one. Especially early in the morning.

            Also I always bring a phone in case I get injured and need to call a friend or an Uber for a pickup.

          • What are you talking about?

            Uh, I have literally watched surveillance video of a “rando” jumping out of the bushes to attack a woman passing by. It got worse from there. It is really weird that you feel the need to aggressively disparage someone who is asking about a completely reasonable safety precaution.

          • Anonymous

            Dude, you are a jerk. Don’t ever tell other women not to be cautious. I have been physically assaulted three times while out exercising, twice on my bike and once while running, where I was chased by a pack of drunken high school students. My BFF was raped while out running. We lived in peaceful suburbs..

        • Anon

          Or, you know, if you trip and break your ankle, it would be nice to call someone instead of a waiting for someone to stop and help, or literally crawling home.

          • Anonymous

            Yep. Men need to carry phones too. My BIL still hasn’t lived down the time he went for a run during a family vacation and got lost, causing the rest of the family to spend half a day driving around hunting for him. This was 20+ years ago.

          • Anonymous

            Like I did earlier this year. The phone was invaluable – it was 25 minutes before someone saw me and came to help and the ambulance got there in 30 minutes.

      • anon

        I dunno … the main running organization where I live really stresses the importance of having a cell phone with you, just in case an emergency arises. I think it’s smart advice.

    • Anonymous

      Another recommendation for a running belt. I prefer the one from Lululemon that zips. It just holds my iPhone and keys. I did not like the Flipbelt–it was too much of a pain to get things in and out of and wasn’t adjustable.

    • Anon

      Bend Active Victory shorts have a double cell phone pocket, one on each leg.

      They are amazing.

    • anon

      I have a Nathan arm belt that is fine. Not wonderful, but it’s lightweight and made out of a soft neoprene fabric. I have a flipbelt, but I really hate having an extra band of fabric around the waist when it’s hot. I use it during mild temps, though.

    • Cat

      This is what got my runner friends to get apple watches and add them to their cell plan. For $10 a month (the price to add it to their cell plan) they found it worth the price to be able to leave the phone but still be able to call in an emergency.

      • anon

        This is a good point. I’ve heard that Apple’s step tracking isn’t wonderful, though — but that could be outdated information. I’m still rocking a 5-year-old Fitbit that is fine, but I can’t say I’m not tempted by the Apple watch features.

    • Anon

      I’ve tried a lot of different belts and the FlipBelt is what works best for me and is most comfortable.

    • Anonymous

      Try the SPIbelt or the Koala Clip. The latter is a phone pocket that clips on to a waistband or back of sports bra.

    • Anon

      I can’t imagine not running with a phone! Partially for safety (injury/get lost/get attacked) but mostly because I can’t imagine running without music!

      For shorter runs, I hold my phone (though I once ran a half marathon holding my phone). For longer runs, I put it in a ziplock and put it in my sports bra. It’s not ideal. I’ll probably get a belt this summer for running and biking for both my phone and my keys. I loooove my fleece Columbus vest dir running/biking in the winter because I can carry phones (I need to have my work phone and my personal phone with me) and keys no problem.

    • Anon

      Don’t try to put your phone in shorts pockets, it will be way to heavy and annoying. I use a flipbelt.

    • Anon

      Dissenting voice – I hate the spibelt. I run in bike shorts – specifically the BALEAF 8″ because chafing.

    • CountC

      Echoing those who have said either a belt (I have a FlipBelt) or my hydration pack (Nathan VaporAiress). In a pinch, I chuck it in my sportsbra.

    • anon

      I have a lap band (flat, unlike a fanny pack?) for phone and keys. It sometimes rides up but is otherwise fine and more accessible while running for song changes/etc than an arm band. River site purchase.

    • waffles

      If you have a phone with a removable SIM card, I have the “atom” phone by Hertz. It’s a really tiny phone so it’s not great for everyday use, but it’s perfect for running. I use it to run my spotify and it’s perfect for emergencies.

    • anon

      I use one of the nathan handheld water bottles that has a zippered pouch that my iPhone and keys fit into. (On the keys issue, I have a “connector” key chain that makes it easy to detach my bulky group of keys to just one or two.) I pretty much always need a little hydration. The bottle has a spot for you to slip your hand into and adjust to fit. (fabric not plastic)

    • SH

      Depending on how large your phone is, I’ve found the Athleta mesh race shorts to be decent. They’ve got two zip pockets, one on either side, and I usually have my keys in one pocket and my phone (iPhone XS) in the other. I will say that it’s not the best for longer runs, but for a short run, they do the job.

      https://athleta.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=2917491420003&cid=1123561&pcid=1059479&vid=1&nav=meganav%3ABOTTOMS%3ACATEGORIES%3AShorts&grid=pds_2_12_1#pdp-page-content

  14. Anonymous

    I’m thinking of refinancing my mortgage but am not sure how to find lenders for comparison rate shopping other than the really obvious big banks. Is there some smart way to do this? I am in NYC in a coop apartment.

    • Anon

      Find a mortgage broker. They’ll do this for you at no charge to you. Ask friends for referrals or even your agent who helped you on the purchase of your home.

      • The original Scarlett

        +1 but also be prepared that with a coop you might have fewer options or local options only (you can run into this with the TIC model in SF, too)

    • anon

      I’m about to close on my refi, and this is my 3rd in the last 4 years (not all on the same property) I wouldn’t go with a bank as they tend to have higher rates. I just google around for rates in my zip code and request quotes from those with the best rates. they’re usually random non-bank lenders that I had never heard of and can’t remember. Still gets the job done- professionalism varies but no more than it does with the banks in my experience.

    • Anon

      Credit Unions often have the lowest rates – I’d check to see if they do coops and what their membership requirements are. I was able to join mine as a local resident.

  15. anon

    ISO a carafe or tin that will hold a bottle of soft-gel vitamins and dispense them one at a time, without needing to pop a cap and reach in. For years, I have unsuccessfully battled my family to remember to close the bottle, and this weekend someone’s carelessness finally put our beloved pet in the veterinary ER for poisoning. It’s time to just prevent the problem instead of trying to teach people, but I can’t find the container I need, and I’m not sure what it would be called.

    • Anon

      Don’t have a suggestion but that sucks and I am sorry. I hope your pet recovers quickly. Hopefully this is a good lesson to whoever was careless that actions (or inactions) have very real consequences.

    • Anonymous

      Is it memory or dexterity? If the latter, my family member had an issue and none of the solutions worked. Now that person is not in charge of getting out meds – the meds are handed to them to take directly.

      • anon

        I would call it just flipping carelessness, but I’m a little fired up right now. Even if I were willing to take responsibility for DH and my teenagers’ meds, it wouldn’t be possible with our normal (pre-pandemic) schedules. I would be much more sympathetic to a senior.

        • Anon

          Yeah, your DH and teenagers are old enough to know better. You don’t need to do that. That’s horrible. If it were a senior with dementia or something, fine, but why should you be the only person responsible enough to NOT POISON YOUR PET?!!? Now I am fired up for you too.

    • Anon

      Have you considered some variety of pill packs? I haven’t decided whether I trust pharmacies with this service when it comes to meds, but with vitamins, I would be willing to have them dispensed this way.

      • Anon

        +1 the marketing of vitamins is up there with the marketing of premium vodka. You’re literally pissing money away

        • Horse Crazy

          You have no idea what they are or why they need them. This is terrible advice.

      • Anonymous

        This is terrible advice there are lots of very real reasons to take vitamins and doctors commonly recommend/prescribe them.

        • Sloan Sabbith

          Yeah, this is pretty bad advice. With my chronic illness, I need high-dose ADEK vitamin supplements- there is no way for me to absorb the amount I need from food so these vitamins prevent a whole lot of health issues.

          • Anon

            I thought the majority of people failed to meet adequate dietary intake recommendations on a routine basis? It’s fine to say “eat 200% more vegetables than you are eating!!”, but for everyone who doesn’t take that advice, this is what supplements are for.

          • Anon

            But vitamins are not a substitute for a good diet. Very little if any of most vitamins are absorbed. Hence the pissing comment. And if you’re reading research about this, make sure it’s not paid for by people who make and market vitamins.

          • Anon

            Vitamins don’t compensate for a bad diet, but a bad diet plus vitamins beats a bad diet without vitamins.

            I have diet tracked with a dietician and using a food scale because of test confirmed deficiencies. I don’t eat any junk food, but my dietary intake from food of certain nutrients is routinely <50% the RDA. I think I would probably have to take up juicing, eat liver, or run a few miles a day to get enough nutrition from food alone, and that's just to meet the RDA.

            I noticed a long time ago that doctors talk out both sides of their face on this. "It is incredibly rare to be deficient!" and also "It's crucially important to eat piles of fruits and vegetables every day." It doesn't seem like rocket science to me that I would be deficient if my intake isn't adequate.

    • Cat

      I think the hard part with chewy vitamins is that you often need to pry them apart in the bottle, making a dispenser unlikely to function well.

      What about an old-school days-of-the-week pill case – then it’s just once a week you’re opening the bottle to load the individual portions?

      • anon

        Hmm…that’s an idea. I might even have one of those lying around the house somewhere from a time when we needed it to keep track of complicated dosages etc. If I can’t find a more cat-proof option, that might do.

        • anon

          I have those day of the week pill cases and I would say they are pretty cat proof. Mine snap shut snuggly and it takes a little bit of force to open. I have cats and mine learned how to take the lid off the dry food container in the pantry, but the lid on that is different. I don’t see how they would be able to open a pill case. Also, so sorry to hear about your cat. Hope kitty is going better.

    • Vicky Austin

      Lofi option: vitamins live in the bathroom, bathroom door is closed at all times?

      • Anonymous

        Or in the pantry. But if husband and teenagers can’t even be bothered to put the lid on, it’s unlikely that they will close the bathroom door or put the bottle back in the pantry.

        • Anon

          Yeah. I’m now thinking the pill pack concept would result in little plastic empty pill pack sleeves all over the house.

    • Anon

      This is directed at your family, not you.

      I’m sorry, but what? People can’t remember to close the bottle of vitamins? This is a basic life skill that you can teach a kid in elementary school.

      My best suggestion is to take phones away in the morning, or better yet, at night and they get them back once the morning routine is complete and they are in the car headed to school. People do not multi-task as well as they think they do, especially not when a series of things MUST get done.

      This isn’t an insult – lately, I’ve instituted a “no phones while we’re getting the baby out the door” policy because something ALWAYS gets forgotten. If we’re on the phone, the phone call ends and gets resumed once the baby is buckled into the car. No texting, no last-minute emails, the things are in pockets or purses while we go through the baby checklist.

      • anon

        I bet a phone policy like that would help, yes. Big picture, I may take your advice because this constant forgetfulness is a problem that presents in many different ways. I just need to resolve the safety issue first.

    • Anon

      I’m confused how the bottle, even if it was open, was in reach of your pet unless it was left on the floor or something?

      • anon

        It was in a slightly open medicine cabinet. The cat is an absolute fiend, but we know she is a crazed monster who will climb anywhere and eat anything, so it’s the human who are responsible.

      • anon

        OMG that’s genius! I would even like the aesthetic, instead of constantly frothing at the mouth. I wonder it it will work…hope so!

    • Anon

      Why not use one of those weekly pill containers? Then you’d only need to open the big bottle once a week.

    • Anonymous

      Tell your idiot family members their laziness nearly killed your pet and start keeping the vitamins in a high cupboard at all times. I’d also punish them- you’re too lazy and careless to put vitamins away? No phone, no car, you’re grounded. If it’s your husband, no gardening because killing a pet isn’t attractive.

    • Anonymous

      Was the culprit your husband or one of the teenagers? If it were a teenager, I’d make them pay the vet bill.

    • Kitten

      Just reading this, I’m getting resentful at a husband and kids I don’t even have. I feel like I would literally take my pet and leave my family if this happened. I need to stay off the internet.

    • Anonymous

      Do you have any storage options that are self closing drawers? I find those more like to get closed consistently than cabinet doors. Maybe with a sticker on the bottle that says “close the drawer and save the cat”

  16. Horse Crazy

    What are your favorite soft/fuzzy socks? I still can’t fit into my slippers since my foot surgery, so I need some more cozy socks for working in my chilly house all day.

    • Not that Anne, the other Anne.

      Honestly, it’s a pack of five that are cat-coat-color themed (stripes, tuxedo, calico, etc) with claws on the top and pawpads on the bottom, which my spouse bought as a silly just because present. There are about a bajillion options on The River Site.

      • Horse Crazy

        That’s adorable! I’ll have to get some to match my two tuxedo kitties :)

    • Anon

      Honestly the ones at Target in the pajama section. My favorite have little chipmunk faces on them.

    • Anonymous

      Have you considered something like Baffin Cush slippers? Less constraining than socks or normal slippers and less slippery to walk in. I live in mine to prevent cold feet while WfH (wash well, too).

    • Anon

      All my fuzzy socks are from Joe Boxer, but I’m having trouble finding who sells them anymore. Looks like Sears and Kmart were the main retailers.

  17. Anon looking for new sheets

    This may be a niche question, but has anyone found any sheets that dog hairs and little things from floors DON’T cling to? I regrettably purchased cheap microfiber sheets from Target and everytttthing clings to them. I don’t even let my dog under the covers! I assumed this is a combination of his hair type and the fact that the sheets are microfiber.

    • Anonymous

      I bought the bounce sheets that help repel pet hair and they really help with bedding and with clothes!

    • Anon

      Go with sheets that are roughly the color of your dog. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em! :-)

      • Bonnie Kate

        This is my couch theory! Luckily I wanted a light colored sectional and the fabric sample rub test against our golden retriever convinced my husband that we should have that instead of the dark couch he wanted.

    • Anon

      We don’t allow animals in the bedroom, but I have found that percale sheets repel fur that gets attached to pajamas.

  18. N95/KF94 masks for children?

    Does anyone have any idea where to buy N95 or equivalent in children’s sizes?

  19. Anon

    I’m interviewing with a later stage startup today and chatting with a number of non-lawyers (various business functions like bizdev, CTO, etc.). For any lawyers who interviewed with a startup, what questions did you find most helpful to you for evaluating the company during the interview stage? Obviously Google is helpful, but perhaps some questions are better than others for someone joining the in-house legal team at these companies. If helpful, the in-house legal team is 5 people currently, and the company went through a Series E financing recently.

    • IANAL but

      IANAL, but I work in tech and deal with lawyers, so might be helpful. What’s your role in negotiating vs. reviewing a contract, compared to a procurement or accounting person? In our company, procurement usually handles the negotiating from a pricing/rough terms standpoint and then legal comes in and redlines the actual contract. You might also be dealing with a procurement or accounting department vs. a lawyer on the other side, so find out how it works if there’s an issue with something like payment terms, SLAs, or contract length vs. more law-related items like GDPR compliance. It’s also good to understand the company’s risk tolerance, and who sets that. Is it the security team? Is it HR? Is it legal? Does it differ per issue (ie: security sets the risk for technical issues vs. HR sets the risk for employee issues)? From a BizDevv standpoint, you might ask how the process works for selling something. Do you have a boilerplate contract and you don’t deviate? Is it a custom contract for every sale/deal over X amount? Will you provide X number of revisions to the standard contract? There’s always a bit of tension between “I sold it, you make it” and “We made it, you sell it”, so making sure you know which stance the company takes is helpful for legal. If they’re Series E, I’m guessing they’re in the awkward in-between phase for sales-led vs. product-led and how much they’re willing to budge during contract negotiations.

    • MJ

      I would look for guidance on the Lawyer Whisperer blog–Julie Brush has some great Q&A and insights, particularly into tech companies. I just left a Series E company in 2019 and am now again at a Series E company. Generally, if a company is on an E round, they’re doing something right/generating revenue.

      I would try to get a feel for: what are the founders like? Are they still around in mgmt? I would gently probe around whether they will be sticking around. What is company culture like? what are [interviewer’s] biggest pain points (with customers or investors)? how is the company handling scaling? are things well-resourced or constantly scrambling?

      If you are on the corporate side, I would ask about SPAC/direct/IPO/M&A exit and what they are leaning toward and why. I would also ask about public company readiness–this means real cross-functional readiness from Finance/IR/Comms/GTM/People readiness, all working with Legal, perspectives.

      I left my most recent Series E company because I wasn’t willing to put my law license on the line (there’s less of a fine line between aggressive and illegal than business-side folks might believe), and management didn’t want to staff Legal appropriately for the stage we were at (it was not sustainable for me to be the only Legal person doing corporate & securities/employment/commercial/procurement/privacy/RE and anything else that came in the door as one person. It was a great, drink-from-the-fire-hose, become an expert quickly experience, but I was glad to leave after I’d vested a bit. And I am much happier at a company where bullying and sexism is not tolerated.

      GL in your interview!

  20. anon

    Interested to hear any thoughts on Coca-Cola’s recent announcement regarding their new diverse counsel requirement. I’m a senior lawyer at a large public company, and while we have a variety of programs and initiatives in place with our outside counsel, we’ve never considered going this far. On the one hand, that is absolutely one way to ensure that opportunities are provided to diverse associates and partners. On the other hand, my own legal department is lily-white (although more than 50% female), so we’d be asking suppliers to meet a goal we can’t meet ourselves. And on the other other hand, quotas have a pretty bad history when it

    • anon

      Post got cut off somehow: Quotas have a pretty bad history in this country – you can use them to keep people out as easily as to keep people in, and having the lawyers for my matters selected based on their race/ethnicity/LGBT status makes me uncomfortable. So IDK.

      • Anon

        Your lawyers are already being chosen on race and ethnicity. Please don’t fool yourself.

        • anon

          Trust me, I’m deeply aware of the systemic bias that infects biglaw. But my father-in-law was turned down by a med school back in the day because they had a quota for Jews and they’d already met it. And I’ve been a junior associate who was thrown onto a deal that was only tangentially related to my practice for diversity reasons, and it s*cked and did nothing for my career (at the time it felt like it actively hurt it, bc it meant I was unavailable for other work that would have been valuable experience for me, although in the long run I turned out fine). I want to see progress and hard goals will produce outcomes but I am not always sure if those outcomes will be the ones we want…and I guess I also suspect that many firms will just do things like what my firm did to me back in the day in order to be able to meet those numbers.

          • Anon

            I am assuming good intentions, but as a POC I hate it when people say things like ‘I want people selected on merit rather than their race/ethnicity’ whenever discussing D&I initiatives. It’s degrading, even when you don’t mean it like that. The point of D&I initiatives isn’t to ‘dumb down’ the pool. It’s to elevate people who were never given a fair shake in the first place.

          • Anonymous

            What I want to see is better recruiting. How are we going to hire a diverse staff if we keep recruiting in the same old places? (Not biglaw; adjacent to an academic discipline overrun with woke young white women.)

    • anon

      I struggle with this. On the one hand I think clients may be key to pushing firms to be more diverse but I’ve personally seen this backfire where women/POC attorneys get stuck with only the clients that have these types of mandates, which may not be the best for the persons career advancement. Or firms just hit the targets by putting a bunch of first years on the matter. In my opinion, the best thing clients can do to support diversity is when diverse or women attorneys are on their matter, push the firm to make sure the firm is giving those attorneys proper credit. Ask who is getting credit for the matter. It’s probably the old white dude you never speak with and not the young Latina attorney who you think is fantastic but who doesn’t get any credit for the relationship. Press your firms for information on how they are promoting/compensating/retaining diverse attorneys and make it an ongoing conversation not a once a year check the box based on numbers that may or may not actually mean that much. I’ll also point out that quotas can present reporting challenges since not all attorneys want their personal information released to clients but can feel pressured into doing so in these cases (speaking from experience)

    • Anon

      For my 2 cents – I would rather these companies hire more diverse in house counsel. Diversity begets diversity. There’s no reason that any department should be lily white (and no, having 50% white women doesn’t move the needle- ugh). It’s easier for in house departments to tsk tsk law firms, rather than look at themselves critically.

      • anon

        I’m the OP and when I joined this company this year I learned that we didn’t even do basic tracking necessary to understand what our candidate pool looks like (as in, we have no idea what percentage of our applicants are LGBT or POC) and didn’t even have a process to make sure our open positions were posted on affinity bar job boards. Like, just really basic practices to help ensure a diverse candidate pool weren’t happening (and that’s before you even get to the question of who gets hired). I was super involved in DEI issues at my old firm so I’ve been able to get some changes made so far, but I was expecting better given the size of my company TBH.

        • Anon

          Right, which is why I think in house departments should look inward about their lack of diversity rather than virtue signaling with these loud (and often misguided) initiatives. The reason that law firms are so white and male is because they are largely a reflection of their clients.

          • anon

            I think we can care and try to take action on both. I’m not sure this is the right way to do it, but I disagree that we can’t push our outside counsel to do better until we’ve completely fixed our own problems.

    • Anonymous

      Big Law senior partner here. The most helpful outside counsel guideline for us was a client request for a quarterly breakdown on our diversity by practice group and a request that our staffing for the client reflect the overall diversity in the relevant practice group. That helped drive equitably exposure to this account.

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