Coffee Break: Jayde Flat
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Hunting for affordable but comfortable flats? These Jayde flats are best sellers at DSW, with 1300+ positive reviews. The flats come in four colors, sizes 6-11. (The smaller/bigger sizes are all sold out in every color, but you might be able to find some if you call your local store.)
(If you're on the hunt for a more traditional ballet flat, try this $50 option, also at DSW — and check out the discussion this past weekend amongst commenters about whether ballet flats are in or out. The general consensus: they're in.)
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My husband and I have a couple days in Nashville coming up. Evenings are set but looking for suggestions for fun things to do during the day. We’ll be downtown and have a car. Fun places to eat are also welcome!
One of the best meals of my life was at The Farm House in Nashville. I still think about the fried green tomatoes, pimento cheese beignets, and brussels sprouts salad. I live 5 hours away and sometimes I think about driving down there for a weekend just to have that food again.
I know you said your evenings are set, but if you could work in seeing a performance at the Grand Ole Opry you should try to do so – it was really the highlight of our trip. We also enjoyed a side trip to tour the Jack Daniels distillery.
So the big things to do in Nashville for tourists during the day appears to be day drinking, based on what I see outside my office, but some suggestions if that’s not for you: the Country Music Hall of Fame is actually really cool, even if it’s not your type of music. It’s an interesting view of the last 100 years of American history in the south and music. Drive to Leiper’s Fork and get lunch at the original Puckett’s. Drive to downtown Franklin and walk around. Lunch places there are 55 South, Gray’s on Main, or Ruby Sunshine for brunch.
We enjoyed the Country Music Hall of Fame when we visited.
Radnor Lake is a short drive and a beautiful place for a hike. You can walk around the lake or head up the ridge if you want something more challenging. Note that it’s a super popular spot for Nashville’s denizens, so either go on a weekday or early/late on a weekend if you don’t want to wait for a spot to park to open up.
Natchez Trace is a pretty drive, esp in the fall, and you could take it down to Leiper’s Fork like another commenter mentioned. You could bookend the journey with a trip to the Loveless Cafe on the north end (good Southern food in a slightly kitschy environment, including beloved biscuits) and Puckett’s on the South. Probably want to do a lot of hiking in between…
To me, the most interesting off-the-beaten bath spots downtown are:
(1) the public library, which boasts a Civil Rights Room and a great exhibit on women’s suffrage, where Nashville played an important role. Grab lunch from the excellent cafe down the street, D’Andrews (everything is great, but the falafel sandwich is my fave), and eat in the library’s gorgeous courtyard, which has chairs with umbrellas and a fountain. The Hermitage Hotel, site of some suffrage history, is around the corner and a great spot for a drink in the bar downstairs (don’t miss the bathrooms!). The lobby is also beautiful.
(2) The State Museum, which is free, so if you think it’s boring, you can just walk out! It’s right next door to the farmer’s market, which has some decent vittles and a lively atmosphere. Lots of great vendors for prepared foods on the weekends. Bicentennial Mall State Park has a giant timeline of TN history carved into stone and a great view of the state capitol. It’s also not far from Germantown, which is a nice neighborhood for walking (old houses, many good options for food and drink).
Relatedly, I always recommend that visitors pick a neighborhood to explore by foot. Wedgewood-Houston boasts Fort Negley, a former (union) civil war built mostly by Black people with a great view of downtown. Within walking distance are perhaps the best bakery in town (Dozen), a fine burger (Gabby’s), a bunch of art galleries, a craft distillery, and Bastion (the bar has great cocktails and perhaps the finest nachos in town). 12 South has fancy shopping and good eats (Proper Bagel, the Buttermilk Ranch). East Nashville is a more eclectic mix of quirky shops (vintage clothing, records) and good eats. I think East Side Bahn Mi has the best deliciousness-to-dollar ratio of anyplace in town, and Grimey’s and Vinyl Tap are both fun stops. Lou’s brunch is outstanding.
Have a great trip, and if you have more specific questions, happy to try to answer them!
The National Museum of African-American Music downtown is amazing, I highly recommend it. Above it is a big food hall with lots of stalls from local restaurants (Assembly Hall). 12 South is a cute afternoon of boutique shopping. Casual lunch options: Ladybird Taco, Prince’s Hot Chicken (if you have a car), Edleys BBQ, Burger Up. Frothy Monkey is a great local chain of coffehouses (breakfast through dinner) with several locations. If you want to take a trip down Nolensville Road, you will find great dive restaurants and international options (Siam Cafe for Thai, Las Palmas for Mexican, Edessa for Turkish, House of Kabob for Persian). East Nashville has some great restaurants. Cheekwood is a lovely botanical garden with lots of programming – check their calendar for happenings, and it’s a 15 minute or so drive from downtown. If you want a good walk in the woods, Radnor Lake or Percy Warner Park have beautiful views and are within city limits. Have fun here!!
Agree that the African-American Music museum is really cool and well done, but I would probably pass on Nolensville Road if I were you unless you have a specific place in mind. There are some awesome places, but it’s a pretty mixed bag.
Drive 80 miles or so to take a day trip to Mammouth Cave in KY. Buy tix from the National Park Service in advance.
I wouldn’t do this. There’s plenty to see in the Nashville area and honestly the caves are not that impressive and not really worth that big of a detour.
I’d recommend seeing the Parthenon (full-scale replica of the Greek Parthenon). There just aren’t many buildings like that, and no others I’m aware of that are structurally sound enough to allow you to go inside. It’s in Centennial Park, not far from downtown – but not the same as Bicentennial Mall State Park, which is right downtown.
Locals, please chime in. It looks like Centennial Park is being “refurbished.” Is it a mess of construction or something?
Centennial Park was fine a couple of weeks ago. There are big band dances (free) on Saturday nights through the end of August at a pavilion in the back of the park. They have a couple of food trucks and some basic lessons, and dancing. The Parthenon is worth a visit, and be sure to go inside and see the 42 foot tall statue of Athena by local sculptor Alan LeQuire.
The entrance is being redone on the West End side and the original springs are being uncovered (they were cemented over at some point in the 60s or so). The Parthenon is still accessible, but it’s not all as easy at some other moments.
I think Nashville is a good place to take the hop-on-hop-off bus tour. You can see a lot that way. Highlights for me were (1) Johnny Cash Museum and (2) Frist Museum (art). I am not a big art museum fan but really enjoyed the exhibitions at the Frist. As for food, I recommend going to the original Prince’s for hot chicken. I have had other versions both in Nashville and elsewhere and enjoyed them, but the original is the original and worth the trip.
Hubs and I are going to Niagara Falls after Labor Day. We’ve never been; never been to update NY either. Any suggestions do’s/don’ts? TIA!
I would highly recommend exploring Buffalo and avoiding the city of Niagara Falls (the park and the falls are stunning but the town is touristy and casinos).
This 100%
And if you are driving thrrough/around western NY and happen to be in Rochester, I like the George Eastman Museum, Artisan Works, Genesee Brew House, and restaurant Good Luck. Further east I recommend Canandaigua, especially the Canandaigua Lake and all of the wineries (Heron Hill) and even further east is beautiful Seneca Lake.
Niagara Falls NY is quite different from Niagara Falls, Ont. The Canadian side is better.
You could also take in some wineries just over the border in Canada. Buy some ice wine!
New York side or Canada side? IMO Canada has more stuff to do.
I have been many, many times…You must visit the falls on the Canadian side….it is breathtaking – the views, access, Maid of the Mist and other things to do…Unfortunately Niagara Falls, NY is a run down tourist trap.
My son and his fiancee enjoyed a stay at the Sheraton on the Canadian side. Go to the top of the Skylon tower and have lunch….the view is incredible.
If you are a fan of MacKenzie Childs, they have an outlet in Aurora, NY.
Not sure how far Lake Placid is from your route, but a friend recently told me it was a nice place for her family to visit.
Lake Placid to Niagara Falls is like a 7 hour drive…
Red Coach Inn restaurant.
I went to Niagara Falls about a decade ago for Labor Day weekend. Aside from seeing the actual falls there isn’t much to do. I would only plan to stay for about 2 nights. Also, it was much hotter than expected so wear layers.
Do the Canada side. Niagra Falls area itself was kind of not great. But Niagra-on-the-Lake is about a half hour away and has a lovely vineyard. Would be a beautiful place to stay.
Cave of the Winds on the Erican side and a walk around Goat and 3 Sisters Islands.
American thank you very much phone!
The American side is really depressing. I’d spend a day doing the falls and then visit Toronto, which is like two hours away. Travel to Canada is now easy if you are fully vaxed.
Upstate NY is huge. Where are you coming from? Hard to give advice on what to hit on the way without knowing which direction. I am local and agree that the american side is not nice (the falls itself is, just not the town). The canadian side is better to stay on if you actually want to stay in Niagara Falls. Buffalo has many nice places to visit as does Niagara on the Lake in Canada.
I enjoyed Maid of the Mist quite a lot, but go early to avoid the long lines.
Continuing the travel theme, Cincinnati food recs? Outdoor seating preferred. I’m more interested in where the locals would go for a great brunch or date night than the touristy places (chili is not my thing and we can get Graeter’s ice cream at the grocery store where I live). We’re staying on the northern side of downtown.
Date night (you’ll want reservations for most of these, unfortunately no outdoor seating for some of these):
Boca (THE BEST)
Sotto (reservations open 2 months out and book that day for prime dinner slots)
Bouquet (has outdoor seating but definitely nicer indoors)
Abigail Street
Alcove
Salazar (might have outdoor–I can’t recall!)
The Eagle (more casual but good, has a little patio)
Brunch:
Maplewood
Sleepy Bee
I went to Abigail Street with friends. Zero out of four people liked it.
Thanks!!
Over the Rhine. The French Crust Cafe, right near Findlay Market, is great for brunch.
We have gone to the symphony and liked it. The Zoo is, of course, fantastic.
Graeter’s ice cream is famous because all of the other ice cream within a three hundred mile radius is so mediocre. It fine; it just isn’t amazing.
Thanks for the recs! I agree Graeter’s is just ok to me. I don’t get the hype at all.
I’m in Cincinnati for work all the time, sometimes for a concert, but almost never for a really nice meal, sadly. For brunch, I do love Maplewood, a casual place (order at the counter but then there is table service of food and drink, or sit at the bar) which is right downtown. We once ordered a pitcher of mimosas there and were surprised to get an entire bottle of bubbly and a carafe of OJ, and the food is excellent. No outdoor dining, though.
For a more casual weekend lunch or brunch, go to Findlay Market; there are restaurants around the market and tons of food stalls inside, plenty of outdoor seating. For dinner, I have heard good things about PearlStar, a seafood place in the Over-the-Rhine neighborhood, but haven’t tried it yet. If you are out and about, check out Washington Park in OTR, it’s a lovely spot, with a dog park and water feature for kids that are fun to watch and an al fresco bar.
And, ooh, I just saw that Jose Salazar has two restaurants near Findlay Market, Salazar and Goose & Elder (how did I not know this?), plus one downtown, Mita’s. Mita’s does not have outdoor seating but the other two might. Nada, next to the Aronoff Center for Performing Arts, is well reviewed and does have some outdoor tables.
Again, it would not be outdoors, but the bar of the art deco Orchid Room at the Hilton Netherlands Plaza downtown is very beautiful and a wonderful place to have a c*cktail.
Thanks for the recs! We are actually staying at that Hilton, so will definitely check the bar out.
Oh, great; Maplewood is not even half a block away from there and Mita is across the street. Washington Park and the restaurants of Over-the-Rhine are walkable, maybe 15 minutes.
There also are frequent evening activities in Fountain Square one block over from the hotel; I’ve happened by and found concerts and trivia games, for example.
I am a Cincinnatian. I agree with most of the recommendations, but will add a few others, some mainstream, some a little more off the beaten path:
– Agree with the recommendation for PearlStar. It’s the only place in town I enjoy oysters. The other food is also good, as are the cocktails, but oysters are the main attraction, so if that isn’t your thing, I would go elsewhere. They have outdoor seating.
– The same group as PearlStar is opening a new restaurant tomorrow called Royce. It’s menu is French-inspired. They’re only accepting reservations two weeks out but if you can snag one, might be worth it. (I am going this weekend, so clearly banking on/hoping it will be good.) They have outdoor seating.
– Nicola’s for Italian. I agree Boca and Sotto are great, but they book out months in advance, and Nicola’s is one of the OG nice Italian restaurants downtown. No outdoor seating though.
– Also echo the suggestion to go to Findlay Market. There’s always something going on on the weekends. French Crust is good for brunch (though very much French style – think egg salad and croissants) and the Rhined across the street is a cheese/wine shop with a small outdoor space in the back.
– Hotel Covington (across the river) for brunch. They have a lovely outdoor patio.
– If you’re looking for a rooftop bar–just about every hotel has one–Lytle Place is my fave.
– Arnold’s is another Cincinnati staple that visitors don’t really think to go to. Casual with good food. Ask to sit in the back courtyard.
– If you’re willing to venture just out of downtown, there’s an eclectic neighborhood on the hill overlooking the city called Mt. Adams. It’s no longer THE place for nightlife like it once was, but there is a little spot called the Blind Lemon with an outdoor courtyard that is perfect for an evening cocktail and they’ll often have live music on the weekends. There’s also a total dive bar up there– City View–that has a great view overlooking the city.
– My favorite area of Cincinnati right now is Pendleton, which is a just North of Over the Rhine and the Central Business District, but still walkable. Hart&Cru and Saeso are two wine/cocktail bars that have a European cafe vibe and both have outdoor seating.
– About 5 miles north of the city is Hyde Park/Mt. Lookout/Oakley neighborhoods and there are tons of good food options there and little shops on each of the squares to pop into. If you want a fancy steak, go to the Precinct (a Jeff Ruby’s restaurant). You’ll definitely need a reservation but they have outdoor seating. I also love Alfio’s (Argentinian Italian), Delwood for more casual (chicken sandwiches/burgers) and Zip’s Cafe (a little dive hamburger joint that all Cincinnatian’s love). UnWind and Oakley Wines are two other options for good wine bars with small bites.
– If you’re into breweries, Rhinegeist is probably the most popular downtown, but I also enjoy Northern Row. Braxton Brewing also has a Pendleton location.
Other cocktail bars downtown to check out:
– Homemakers
– Somerset
– Ghost Baby (make a reservation so you can sit in the back room)
– Low Spark
Hope you enjoy your stay!
Wow, thank you for taking the time to write this up! I really appreciate it.
I have a long comment in moderation so check back!
It has been a while, but if you are willing to drive a bit, I had great meals in the Mainstrasse neighborhood of Covington, KY, across the river. One was at Otto’s. The other may have been at Bouquet but I am not certain.
My friend’s son works at Bouquet – for the OP, Bouquet and Otto are about two miles across the river in Covington, Kentucky – and she raves about it.
What is your eating schedule like? I will start. Dinner often needs to be at 9 pm because of various conflicts, so breakfast is at 11, a substantial snack at 3-4 pm, and then dinner at 9.
I normally do IF, but I don’t want to eat right after waking up anyway so it’s pretty easy for me. Breakfast around 11-12, afternoon snack 2-3 pm, family dinner 5-5:30 pm, snack or dessert 7:30-8 pm after kid is in bed.
I’m very prone to hanger so I my schedule is pretty structured. Breakfast no later than 8, lunch is between 1-2, small snack around 3-4 and dinner around 6-7. Definitely never one of those people who can skip a meal and not notice.
This is me too
Breakfast at 6:30
First lunch at 10-11
Second lunch at 13-14
Coffee and chocolate either between lunches or after 2. lunch
Dinner at 18
Coffee at 19, usually with chocolate or cookies.
You are my people. I think I am a hobbit.
First breakfast 7:00
Second breakfast 9:30
Lunch 12:00
Snack 3:00
Dinner 5:30 – 7:00 depending on the day
This is always so fascinating to me. Breakfast between 7:30-8:30am depending on the day, lunch usually around 11:30, sometimes a mid-afternoon snack and dinner at 5:30-6ish. I have friends who eat on more of the later schedule (9pm dinner) and I can’t imagine a. waiting that long to eat and b. going to bed with a full stomach!
Same. This is exactly my schedule. How do you the rest of you all sleep? When do you sleep? I thought experts recommend that you not eat 2-3 hours before bed.
Why do experts say that? I like going to sleep with a moderately full stomachs, I tend to wake up early due to hunger or super hungry otherwise
Eating that late can cause acid reflux and esophageal erosion
Heartburn is a big reason. If you’re at all prone to that, going to sleep on a full stomach can exacerbate it. I can’t go to sleep on an empty stomach, but also can’t eat right before bed. ~4 hours before bed is the right timeframe for my last real meal.
I don’t go to bed until at least midnight, sometimes more like 12:30-1, so my 8:30 pm dinners more than 2-3 hours before bed (And for the next question, I get up at 7:45 if I’m going into the office or 8:20 if I’m WFH, which is most days)
7:30AM coffee, 11AM lunch, 5PM dinner. I have been trying to avoid evening snacking, but if it happens, it happens around 8.
What time to do get home from work that you eat at 5?
Not that person, but we have 5 pm dinners regularly. I work from home but I have to go do a daycare pickup. I try to sign off between 4 and 4:30 to go do that. It takes about 45 minutes roundtrip. DH (who works from home and has before Covid) makes dinner.
I stop WFH at 5. Usually my partner cooks dinner. But if I cook dinner, it’s realistically more like 5:30. Later dinners interfere with sleep for me.
Though I did just fine on a siesta schedule (late dinner, early wake time, afternoon nap) when I’ve lived where that’s common!
Several cups of coffee either with cream or protein powder between 8am and 11 am. Lunch between 11:30 and noon. Either (1) dinner at 6:30 or (2) protein shake at 5:30 after a workout and small meal/snack at 7:00 pm. I wake up about 5:30 am so I eat early and go to bed early.
Breakfast 6am
Second breakfast (dried fruit or Honey Nut Cheerios eaten dry) 9-10 am
Lunch 11-12am; is giant farmhand sort of lunch usually b/c dinner is often a yogurt or cheese/crackers or some snacky leftover from the fridge
Iced latte while I get ready (630-8ish?) and a second one during my commute/at my desk (8-10ish)
Breakfast (yogurt or oats) at desk (10ish)
Snack (fruit), if needed (1130ish)
Lunch (bowl with leafy greens, brown rice, chicken, grilled veggies and dressing) in nearby park, usually with a friend. 1230ish
Afternoon snack (fruit or cheese or pretzels) 330ish
My evenings are all over the place. Sometimes I go to happy hour at 5 and don’t eat dinner at all. Some nights I have a later club soccer game and I eat at 9. Some nights I have grad school and I’ll snack at 6 before class and eat after class at 8. Most nights I graze or eat a quick and light dinner. I rarely cook dinner but have lunch as my main meal.
When left to my own devices I’d eat around 7 but that never happens.
Breakfast when I get up (5 or 5:30).
I’ve always been ready to start eating parts of my lunch by 9 or so, and now that I’m WFH, I just eat lunch for real around 9. I’m ready for “dinner” around noon or one and then usually don’t eat for the rest of the day unless I’m in some sort of social situation, where I might have something small. I’ve spent my entire life being starving all day and wanting to leave work early so I could go home and eat, so this is so much better. No more snacking, just real meals when I’m hungry- meals are cooked in advance or easily assembled salads, sandwiches, etc. that don’t take too much time out of the day.
730 – coffee
9 – more coffee and breakfast
12-1 lunch
3 – snack
6-7 dinner
Breakfast at some point between 7:30p-8:30p.
Lunch 1:30-2:30p (unless I’m with my kids then it’s around noon)
Dinner ideally at 5:30/6p. Hopefully no later than 7pm.
Snacking constantly throughout the day, though I probably try to stop snacking by 9:30p. Unless I’m up past 1am, then I will keep snacking.
I don’t get hungry until around 10 or 11, so I bring my breakfast to work and eat at my desk. I eat lunch a few hours later and dinner is often around 6. I think I tend to not eat a big enough lunch because I get hungry in the afternoon and end up snacking on junk food.
I did IF for years because it was easy, but didn’t lose any weight and am trying to get back into breakfasts but not doing great.
wake up – 10g collagen with coffee (35cal) – i might have the coffee with a protein shake as creamer.
lots and lots of water
11:30-12 overnight oats or yogurt with protein powder, either after workout or when i’m hungry.
1 – more of a lunch – leftovers or eggs, hopefully with veg, maybe beans
4 – snack like popcorn + protein shake or Quest chips
6 – dinner with family
try to close the kitchen at 7.
I keep trying to move dinner up, but a variety of factors keep interfering. This is the weekday/workday schedule, and weekends are similar but brunch replaces lunch and can happen anywhere from 11am-3pm:
Coffee 9am
Lunch 1-2pm
Snack 4pm
Dinner 9pm
You can tell DH and I never had kids!
This is my schedule — also no kids. If I’m lucky I’m done with work early enough to do cocktail hour while cooking dinner, so cocktails 7:30ish and dinner on the table by 8:30ish. Otherwise it is frantic later cooking and dinner on the table by 9.
First meal or snack at 2 or 3 pm, midday meal at 5 pm and supper around 10 pm.
Now I need to know your sleep schedule!
Breakfast-9
mid-morning snack-11
lunch-12-12:30ish
afternoon snack-4-5ish
dinner-after evening activity, usually 8:30ish, sometimes as late as 9. Rarely do we eat before 8.
4:30 am coffee (before gym)
6:30 am breakfast
10:00ish snack
12:00 lunch
2:00ish Snack
5:30-6:00 dinner
Coffee and/or juice or nothing at all around 7:30 on a no morning workout day. Protein shake at 8:30 after a morning workout.
Lunch at 12:30 or 1:00
Dinner sometime between 7:30 and 9, occasionally later and at a bar if it’s a very late work day.
I don’t really snack much but might grab some cottage cheese or an egg around 4 if lunch was light.
Currently pregnant so all bets are off right now and for the foreseeable future, but before that my schedule was more or less – 5:30, start work at 6 (from home) , breakfast at 9, lunch at 1:30, dinner at 6, bed by 9.
During the week:
Usually no solid breakfast, but generally a iced or hot caffeinated beverage between 8-9 am. It might have calories or it might not.
Snack around 11 am
Lunch around 1 pm
Snack after work around 5:30 pm
Dinner around 7:30 pm
Dessert around 8 pm, but not always.
On the weekend:
Bagel with cream cheese and hot tea around 10 am
At about 3 pm, remember I haven’t eaten anything except a bagel with cream cheese and eat something before my blood sugar drops into the Hangry Headache zone.
Dinner around 7.
Dessert around 8, if dessert occurs.
(This is assuming I don’t have foster kids on the weekend. If I do, weekend meals are structured to make sure they’re properly fed.)
Has anyone tried Orange theory? Was it worth it? How much does it cost?
Area dependent – typically runs $150 to $200/month for unlimited. I did it for several years and it fell by the wayside with the combination of COVID shut downs and getting a trainer. It works really well if you don’t have a lot of injury limitations and have a good baseline working out. Think of it as difficulty level moderate – half cardio / half lifting – and a good introduction to using weights if you were previously, “I just run on the treadmill.” The reddit subforum normally posts the workouts each day if you want to peak at what you are doing. Absolutely would recommend giving it a go.
I believe there is a posse of us here who do OTF! Pricing varies from region to region, NYC will obviously be a lot more expensive than the Mid-west locations. For reference, I pay $109 a month for 8 classes in greater DMV area, but I know there have been many many subreddit threads about people trying to figure out OTF costs across the country.
I find it worth it because I don’t like to make my own workouts, I like having someone else do the thinking for an hour. OTF can be competitive or not as you wish, but on the whole it’s very inclusive of all adult ages, body sizes, and injury-modifications. I can’t speak to the weight loss aspect since that’s not why I joined, but I have heard that people have made it work, although the calories burned in their proprietary HRM is probably more exaggerated than reality.
Anyway, go try a free class! It may be for you, it might not be for you.
I love it. I am one of its biggest proponents. It’s about the same as most other studio classes (I think I pay about $130/month for unlimited classes). It’s the perfect mix of cardio and lifting for me.
I LOVE it. Love. I go four times a week on the unlimited plan. I have a friendly with the sales associates rate of $170/mo. LCOL area with the next closest studio about 30 mins away from our founding studio.
If you are writing an announcement about Jane Smith and Tom Jones and Jane has a doctorate, would you refer to them as Jones and Dr. Smith? Or just Jones and Smith?
Is the degree relevant to the announcement? Outside of academia or jobs, I am leaning just Jones and Smith. There is a PhD on our PTA board and that person is just Smith for PTA purposes. Different if in Smith’s field.
This.
As an aside, I once got into a discussion about whether people with phd s should be called “doctor” socially. It seemed really pretentious to me. My friend said I’d feel differently if I had a doctorate. I conceded that perhaps that was true but then my husband gently reminded me that I have a (juris) doctorate.
My mother (a PhD and daughter and granddaughter of MDs) believes very strongly that only MDs get the title socially. She instructed me to address wedding invites to our friends with PhDs to Mr and Ms. A bunch of them were very offended. I still cringe thinking about it.
I went to a New England college where it was considered rude to refer to faculty by Dr. or Prof. as opposed to Mr. or Ms. Apparently “Dr.” was perceived as detracting from gentility.
In a headline last names. In the text Mr. Jones and Dr. Smith.
The only place that would still use “Mr.” and “Dr.” in the text is the NYT, but the NYT only uses “Dr.” for MDs.
It’s a little more nuanced than that. The NYT style guide says that anyone with a PhD can request the title of “Dr.” and it is sometimes used for non-medical doctors, especially VIPs. They have used it for Jill Biden, for example.
https://archive.nytimes.com/afterdeadline.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/06/23/faqs-on-style-2/ (“Anyone else with an earned doctorate, like a Ph.D. degree, may request the title, but only if it is germane to the holder’s primary current occupation (academic, for example, or laboratory research). Reporters should confirm the degree holder’s preference.”
Depends on what style guide you’re using. In Associated Press style, which most newspapers other than the NYT follow, you do not use Dr. even if the person has a PhD. So a press release would refer to them as “Jones and Smith” on second reference after using their full names and job titles (e.g., Jane Smith, associate professor of biology at Harvard University) on the first reference. Other style guides are different.
I work for a university press office that follows AP Style and seriously 10% of my job is explaining to faculty members that, yes, I know they have a PhD, and no, I cannot refer to them as Dr. Smith throughout the press release. Fun times. /s
Most places I’ve worked (associations, agency setting, B2B vendor) have done first reference and then dropped. So any reference to medical doctors has been as “X is proud to welcome Jane Jones, MD, to our new clinic. Jones has X years of dermatology experience and is board certified blah blah blah.Jones will be based in blah blah blah.”
Same with fellow and certifications. “Jane Jones, PhD, FHFMA, CFP, will be discussing financing trends in mergers and acquisitions. Jones served as CFO at X hospital from Y to Z.”
Dr. Jane Smith and Tom Jones for the first time introducing them. Then last names only if Dr. is not relevant to the article.
Only medical
Doctors get the Dr title in my book. Using Dr when you’re an academic is pretentious and midwestern, a difficult to achieve duality.
Pretentious I get, but Midwestern!?
Pshaw.
The correct title for PhD’s is Doctor- and in the rare situations where titles are being used, I want my correct title to be used. I worked hard for my PhD and I refuse to be called Ms. Nesprin when no one seems to struggle with calling my male colleagues Dr.
I don’t call them doctor either.
Except that most media outlets disagree and if you want your news release to be published anywhere you need to conform to the rules they use. It’s not a gender thing. If this is just for your org’s own website or newsletter there’s more flexibility, but even then if the writer did it they weren’t trying to slight you. They were just following the standard rules for newswriting.
Signed, the person above who spends hours every week explaining to faculty that I can’t call them Dr.
Ha! Your last sentence cracks me up but now I need to know why this is Midwestern? Please tell me it’s a holdover from pioneer days when “doctors” of library science would sent broken bones and whatnot.
Only Midwesterners need to be braggy about it. People who aren’t surrounded by corn simply know that everyone knows and don’t need to make a fuss.
Wow, this is derogatory! Why such disdain for people who live in a certain location??
Not the Anonymous at 3:37.
In the Midwest, university professors usually only go by “Professor” if they are full professors. Assistant and associate professors, even if tenured, are Dr. Jones. Back East, all of my professors, including lecturers, went by Professor.
That is not at all true. I’m at a Midwest university (and have parents, siblings and friends at other Midwest colleges) and all profs (assistant, associate and full) go by prof. Dr is reserved for post docs and maybe lecturers. I have never met a tenured or tenure track faculty member who uses Dr over Prof. I did college and grad school “back east” as you say (talk about pretentious!) and it’s no different there either. I think you made up this geographic distinction.
That’s a lot of anger for a non-issue. The three universities, spanning two different Midwestern states, that my husband has been at (undergrad, grad, now as a professor) all go by the convention I listed above. My universities back East do not. If that is not your experience, I suggest that you simply list, e.g. the state(s) or institutions you are familiar with, rather than lashing out at me.
The Midwest spans from Ohio and arguably Kentucky to the Dakotas and Oklahoma (arguably). The conventions in Minneapolis or Chicago may more closely resembles those of the East Coast than surrounding areas, and Missouri may have different conventions than North Dakota.
Don’t bother replying.
I’m not angry or “lashing out.” I just think your statement is totally inaccurate. I have friends or colleagues at dozens of schools in the Midwest (in all the states you named, although Oklahoma isn’t the Midwest). My institution is in a cornfield nowhere near a big city. I attend conferences with people from around the country and have never heard anyone make this type of distinction along geographic lines.
Fwiw, I mostly know people at large research institutions and it’s very possible that the culture is different at small liberal arts colleges. That would make a lot more sense to me than a geographic distinction. Generally speaking, a research university in Missouri and a research university in Massachusetts are far more similar to each other than either one is to a SLAC in the same state.
This must be institution-specific. My ex-H is a professor at a liberal arts college in Ohio and the students generally call the professors Doctor, regardless of tenure and full or assistant professor status. He didn’t use Dr. socially.
Why are all my comments going to mod? No links, no slashes, no references to anything that might have some prurient subtext ..
When I was in college, only the music professors went by “Dr.,” presumably to distinguish themselves from the applied music faculty who mostly did not have doctorates. In the other departments everyone was “Professor” regardless of tenure status.
Mr. and Dr. Tom Jones and Jane Smith if they’re married, Dr. Jane Smith and Mr. Tom Jones if not.
(this was my parents, and apparently this is the Emily Post approved version)
Let me preface by saying I do NOT have a PhD, I’m a lowly master, but I absolutely refer to my colleagues with PhDs as Dr, especially in forums where they’re the expert. It actually makes me really happy to call them Dr, it’s like giving my awesome colleagues props for being experts, they’ve earned it IMO.
I mean as a lawyer I don’t get it but…oh man if I’m ever a judge. I might insist my own kids call me “the honorable anon.” I might say “remain seated, come to order” every time I walk into a room. This is one of many reasons I should not be a judge.
Now I want to be a judge just to be able to do that!
The only people who ever call me “Dr.” are job candidates and judges.
PhD here; work in DoD where they are big on titling you. Mr. Ms. etc. everything. For me, call me C and everything is fine. But if you’re going to use a title, it is NOT MS. IT IS DR. I’m not just some rando civilian I am indeed an expert. If you want to be pretentious and use the title use the RIGHT ONE. On an announcement titling the first time as others have suggested seems fine.
My friends wedding is in about 2 months. I have a +1 but I just broke up with my boyfriend, and she asked if I wanted to switch it to someone else, suggesting just another friend etc. Who do people invite when they have a +1 but not necessarily a SO? I’m trying to think about whether I’d want to go to a friend-of-a-friend wedding.
I’m not really worried about being bored or alone because its a college friend so my other college friends will be there too. I need more guy friends lol.
I wouldn’t bring anyone in this case.
+1 your friend is being polite. Or you could ask her if she has a list of people she’d like to invite – maybe there is a mutual friend she’d love you to bring.
I would just go without a date. The only circumstance in which I would bring a friend to the wedding would be if I didn’t know anyone at the wedding besides bride and groom.
I wouldn’t bring anyone either. I never bring a +1 unless I’m seeing someone somewhat seriously.
Especially since you’ll know other friends there from college. In those cases I only bring a serious partner because I’d rather hang with my friends
That makes sense. I’m still in that post breakup phase of “OMG they’ll be all these couples and ME alone” but in reality they won’t be all couples and also it doesn’t matter, I’m friends with most of the +1s anyways.
Tina, this reply is really classy. I hope no matter what you have so much fun.
I took my best friend in an analogous situation. We had a fantastic time and it was nice to have a buddy for exploring before/after the wedding. It was a destination wedding, though, so having someone to hang with mattered a bit more. (I knew many/most of the other guests but they were acquaintances rather than friends so I wouldn’t have been included in their own pre/post-wedding activities.)
Don’t bring a random, it’s rude. For my own wedding, I gave my playboy brother a conditional plus one, he was allowed to bring any long time friend but no fling of the week. Ten years later I’m still happy with this decision since my wedding photos have a good friend in them not whoever was my brother’s current lady friend.
It’s not rude when the person getting married tells you it’s ok.
I would either go alone or knvite someone who knows the bride, whom the bride would likely invite if having one of those 500 person weddings.
Oh nooo don’t do this. I think it’s so awkward as the bride. A friend did this to me. It was weird having a sort of friend there, when literally every other guest was a close friend or relative. A stranger I would have felt comfortable mostly ignoring other than a polite hello, but because this person was technically my “friend” I felt obligated to hang out with her, when really I just wanted to hang with my besties. It also seemed very awkward for her, and several of my other friends mentioned it was weird having a sorta friend outside the inner circle there. Just…please don’t do this! Certainly not without clearing the friend with the bride.
I was a bridesmaid in a wedding for a high school friend and brought a college friend who got along with the high school crew. It worked out well.
If you don’t want to hang out with anyone but your best friends and their SOs, don’t give your friends plus-ones. Easy peasy, right?
Honestly I would go alone and try to hook up with another single wedding guest.
If you didn’t know anyone, I think it’s reasonable to bring a friend. Since a bunch of your college friends will be there, I’d go alone and have fun!! Get a hotel room and enjoy yourself.
Looking for some mascara recommendations: one drugstore and one higher end that create some pop for already long lashes but don’t give the cake-y heavy make up look.
I love Tarte’s lights, camera, action for fuller lashes. I don’t wear this as my every day mascara but it’s great for weekends, etc
I like Clinique high impact.
+1
I am loving the Maybelline Sky High mascara. Nice defined length.
I like L’Oréal voluminous lashes— in the black or grey package. I used to love diorshow mascara, but I did not like the scent ( though I have a Dior perfume I like). I kept the diorshow brush, washed it, and use it to fan out the L’Oréal. I have also enjoyed Lancôme mascara here and there. I actually throw out mascara often, as I have sensitive eyes. I keep it for two or three months and then it begins to irritate my eyes. I wear mascara most days — maybe five days a week, so it is pretty dry and done by the time I toss, which is why I gravitate to L’Oréal as it’s less expensive. I buy a more expensive mascara every couple of years yearly if there is a promotion.
Drugstore ~ L’Oréal telescopic
High end~ Dior
For those of you who’ve leaned out of your career for whatever reason, how did you know when it was time to lean back in? Did you feel ready to lean back in or was it more of a feeling of if I don’t do it now I won’t be able to? I am so so bored with my job that I feel ready for a challenge even though I know the challenge means going back to impressing people, working longer hours. But part of me feels so exhausted that I wonder what if I can’t handle that challenge. I’d be giving up a really easy high paid job to go fail at something else. IDK what the source of the exhaustion is. It’s not physical as I’ve seen a dr. My guess is it could be just the boredom and drudgery of doing something I don’t want to do, but again I’ll never know it until I leave that thing behind.
So how do you decide such things? If it matters, I just turned 40.
I’d try to find a cool hobby outside work to make me excited versus changing my job.
I would pursue professional learning opportunities and gaining additional learning. I would join a local professional organization and if you enjoy the people maybe look to getting a leadership position there. Or, you could write a paper for a local chapter. Something that engages your brain so you could trial run it before changing employers.
I am in a similar position and am happier having the busy but not challenging role be my full time gig. I added a new exercise routine/hobby that I do 4 days a week. I feel more fulfilled and my life is more rounded now. I have new people to interact with throughout the week, I am challenging my body in new ways, I have new capabilities. These all feel great.
When I do get to the point where I want to expand my professional career again, I will likely take the course I outlined above so I can revv up my brain to catch up with the stuff I sat out while in a more laid back role. Something to start the ramp up and avid full on imposter syndrome in the higher level environment.
Odd question but is it weird to take up an appointment with a PCP to discuss the covid booster? I’d do a 15 minute appointment virtually FWIW. Just wanted to know if this is a thing PCPs are willing to do appointments about or if they’d shrug and say do what you want. FWIW when I asked a specialist, he shrugged and said whatever ask your PCP and basically indicated that I shouldn’t ask him.
The issue is when I took the third shot I had a scary kind of heart racing reaction days after, so now I’m really hesitant of taking a fall booster. However, DH and I have some fall travel coming up to Europe, and he’s kind of insistent that we both boost before getting on long flights to Europe, and it seems like the new booster may be available before we go. I understand where DH is coming from but not sure what to do. This appointment doesn’t need to be NOW of course, but I’m in a city that really clears out in August, so often it is easier to get an appointment in late August than to wait until October or Nov. And the PCP isn’t someone random, it’s one who I had a physical with less than a year ago. I know some people are huge fans of those doctor portals, but IDK that doesn’t involve any discussion really, just more of a yes or no answer.
When random people, who you’ve never met and who aren’t students/interns/vendors/recruiters/etc add you on LinkedIn, is it rude to ask why they added you?
I wouldn’t think so, but I would probably also just ignore the invite.
I’m intrigued, the only connections we have in common are 2 people who I did not have a good work experience with (they gave me panic attacks). . . probably going to ignore it.
I’ve had very obvious fake profiles try to connect with me that have had several connections in common with me, which just showed me that many friends don’t look that closely as to who they are accepting. So just because they are connected to people you know doesn’t necessarily mean anything.
I can’t imagine spending the energy to ask random connector attempts follow up questions, but to each their own.
I’m in IT and I get these requests all the time from salespeople (like 5 a week). I ignore the invite unless I already have a relationship or contract with their organization.
I get requests from people in unrelated fields in different continents. I just ignore them. I feel like it’s the same thing as when people collect friends on facebook. There’s not really a reason other than to appear like you have a lot of connections.
I mean, what answer are you hoping to get? They probably just clicked connect with everybody who popped up. I’d just ignore it.
Does anyone know offhand when apple season starts? I know stores have apples year round but I’m curious when we start getting the varieties of new apples rather than just what’s in cold storage. I’m in the DC area if it matters.
My dad died unexpectedly last week. It’s been a distressing time. But Jules, that bridesmaid dress really made me crack up. Thank you for the laugh.
I am in a pretty big grief stage myself right now and ran across that over the weekend. Burst out laughing for the first time in weeks. I like to think that dress was put on this earth for a reason.(Cause that reason sure wasn’t to be worn to a wedding!)
I’m sorry for your loss, Anon.
I am so sorry to hear about your losses, and am sending internet condolences. And I’m really happy that this could provide at least a short respite from the grief.
Sorry for your loss. Whatever the relationship, losing a parent is significant. Be gentle with yourself.
I am so so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad suddenly and unexpectedly a few years ago and it was terrible. In the first year everything was surreal and painful. Since that first year it is still weird and dissonant and full of loss but more familiar so the pain isn’t as sharp and piercing and constant.
I don’t know if this will help you, but something that soothes me: a friend told me “the ones we love are a thought away” and so I dedicate a few minutes each day to connecting with my dad. I have a reminder on my phone and when it goes off I think of a good memory, or I look at a photo and give him a hug with my heart. It’s not nearly as good as having him here, but it is something and I take whatever scrap I can get.
Another friend said that part of grief that hurts so much is having love for someone who isn’t there to feel it. The daily ritual of remembering him helps me give that love to him. I started doing this about about 6 months after he passed, and it continues to help me nearly 3 years on. I still get gut punched by grief, but it happens less frequently, maybe once or twice a week rather than every minute.
I hope a small bit of this helps. I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through.
I’m so sorry for both of your losses.
Thank you so much for this. This is a helpful idea.
We are doing a kitchen reno, and are looking at stainless steel appliances from different brands. Do any of you have thoughts about how to make sure the stainless steel matches? For example, if we do a Bosch stainless dishwasher and a GE fridge, does it matter that they are a little different? Help!
I think ideally you get all the same brand . . .
Even within a single brand like Bosch, there are multiple different finishes. I did not realize but the stainless polish for my Bosch dishwasher has instructions about cleaning based upon the grain of the stainless. Mind blown! In other words, it is tricky to mix and match for surfaces with significant stainless like a dishwasher and refrigerator.
You could go the other way and lean into not matching, that can be visually successful as long as you have more than two different hues and textures or shines, just like a room that has different sort of whites can be successful.
I think handle style is more noticeable than subtle differences in stainless color, especially if there will be a decent distance between them.
+1 handle style and material is probably going to matter more. My entire kitchen is the same brand with the fridge being a different brand, and it looks fine to me, but I think it helps that my fridge doesn’t have a handle (doors have a hand slot) that would otherwise make matching an issue.
It doesn’t matter. Especially if they aren’t right next to each other.
I have 4 different brands of stainless going on and it all looks fine. I did intentionally select ones with similar black handles or other features. They coordinate but are not matchy-matchy. It also helps that each appliance is on a different wall so the lighting hits differently anyhow.
Can’t you do brushed steel for everything?
Is Pinsy stalking anyone else on social media? A) do people really wear lingerie like that as tops, and B) why couldn’t they find models that fit into the garments? There’s both quad boob and camel toe happening and none of it looks comfortable.
Ladies, J. Crew has 30% now (sorry if someone mentioned it already!)