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This strikes us as an amazing alternative to a classic 16″ pearl necklace — love the color, and the pop of blue — and there's something nice about being able to answer the question “what IS that made of” with “vintage red Ethiopian ‘tomato' glass, Bali silver & sapphire nugget.”
We'd wear it with a white button-front blouse and, perhaps, a gray blazer to the office; we also might play with a contrasting color and try it with a purple shirt.
It's $632 at RevolveClothing.com. Adesso Saba Necklace in Red
Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
RR
I love this. Love. I’ve been looking for a red necklace, and this is exactly what I’ve been dreaming of. I don’t have $650 for it though, so if anyone finds any great knockoffs or cheaper iterations, let us know!
ceb
You had me until “It’s $632.” **sigh** It is super-cute . . .
Belle de Ville
$632 for a “tomato” glass bead necklace. What a rip off. The intrinsic value of that necklace is about $30.
Shayna
You’re much more generous than I … I think I saw it’s double for less than $15 at Forever 21 recently
anon-ny
seriously, I think it is beautiful but these are the type of items I watch for on super sale at department stores because I cannot justify more than $40 – 50 for costume type jewelery. Especially due to my fickle, fickle nature.
Reader P.
Love this, too. Have asked a crafty friend for recommendations on how to re-create.
Corporate Tool
I’d start at Michael’s, they have a lot of great bead collections that look a lot like these.
Reader P.
She’s all into beads and I just placed an order with her supplier. Beads are on their way!
ERP
Ooo that is pretty and interesting!
lawyer
Gah! I have been looking for just such a red necklace, and was all jazzed up . . . until the price.
JMW
Beautiful and love the necklace, but: yowza! $632 … this will definitely have to be an inspirational piece …
lawDJ
Post it on Etsy.com’s “alchemy” and I’m sure someone can make you one for under $50! Or look in the etsy supplies and make one yourself :)
Forestgirl
Or just search for “red bead necklace” on etsy and see what comes up. I’ve found a lot of similar beaded necklaces on etsy in various colors for WAY less than this.
SF Bay Associate
I’ve never used Etsy. How does it work? How do you select an artist person? I would like to have some costume/statement jewelry but the prices of brick and mortar stores is absurd for what is ultimately plastic, rocks, and glass. The red necklace is beautiful but I cannot fathom why it is quite so expensive – I would certainly prefer the sapphire-free version if it was $550 less.
mille
Etsy is incredibly good for jewelry items. You buy from the artist themselves, but it works just like any other shopping website. You search for what you want and buy it, or you can request that something be made specifically for you. I love Etsy.
SF Bay Associate
Do you have a favorite artist, mille?
lawDJ
ditto what mille said.
I mostly buy supplies and make stuff myself, but here are some of my favorite sellers of jewelry:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/surfandsand
http://www.etsy.com/shop/danielmjewelry
http://www.etsy.com/shop/JanishJewels
http://www.etsy.com/shop/ANORIGINALJEWELRY
http://www.etsy.com/shop/PaintedHorse
Anonymous
Not Mille, but I like this shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/Gosia
D
Posting late on this, but here’s an Etsy handmade jewelry vendor I love. She works in mixed metals:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/LexLuxe?ref=seller_info
Anonymous
Etsy is basically a bunch of “stores,” each owned by the person who designed the items in the store. So you search for, say, bracelets, and you find a bunch of jewelry makers who sell bracelets in their stores, and you read their reviews and ratings to decide if you want to buy from them. Or, if you have something in particular you’d like made, you can go to the Etsy Alchemy section and you post a request for what you want made, and artists bid on it and you select the artist who seems best and accept her bid. It’s great.
Anon
Definitely go to Etsy, but I wouldn’t post this on Alchemy. It’s highly frowned upon to ask someone to copy / knock off someone else’s work.
ceb
I sort-of disagree. I would NOT post a photo, BUT I think it would be appropriate to say post a written description on Alchemy along the lines of “looking for a 16-18 inch necklace with large, red beads with one lapis or sapphire blue stone or bead.” That is the whole point of the Alchemy function.
JessC
Or for those of us already crafty-types, a trip to JoAnn’s or Michael’s could probably get you the supplies to get you a pretty close knock off. I would guess $30-ish for beads, twine, and clasp.
CJ
I had a law professor that regularly wore a necklace to class with large, round, green beads. I used to always think it looked like a string of brussel sprouts at her throat. Here’s hoping this one doesn’t actually look like little cherry tomatoes.
Amy
I wore a necklace made of yellow rutilated quartz beads the other day. My four-year-old son said, “I like your necklace.” I said, “Really?” He said “Yeah. They look like hard grapes!” Now every time I look at the necklace I think about that. And every time I see big red beads on someone I’ll think of cherry tomatoes. :)
Lawgirl
I’m so un-exotic and un-wordly– I’d buy a necklace like that and if someone asked where I got it, I’d say: “Picked up at JC Penny, Gurl (hush!)” LOL.
Shayna
It’s a little late for April’s Fool pranks… which this must be, because spending $632 for a glass bead necklace is absurd. Actually it’s more than absurd, but I’m afraid I’m unaware of a word that can adequately capture how crazy this is.
RR
Maybe it’s just me, but I find something about the way you comment so offputting, and this just seems unnecessarily rude coming from a regular poster. Yes, the necklace is expensive for what it is, but I don’t think multiple rude and belittling posts to Kat are completely necessary. JMO…
anon
It is not just you . . .
Anonlyst
Hear, hear!
UnSub
Second.
CJ
Maybe it was a little harsh, but I think she was pretty clearly trying to make a joke.
Lately I’ve noticed that people are very quick to jump on certain commenters — Shayna, 75 — and it seems like borderline bullying. I’ve never seen Shayna have anything but good intentions, so let’s perhaps take it down a notch?
nonA
amen.
Anonymous Today
Agreed. Also, as has been suggested in the past, if you know you don’t like someone’s comments, when you see their name, just skip past that comment.
anonymous3L
i just find one person posting 25 times on each post a little annoying and its pretty consistent on every single thread. not only that but when people post a law specific question she always chimes in with “not a lawyer but…” if someone wants law comments then they only want comments from lawyers. just my two cents.
UnSub
Hard to read intentions on a blog post, no?
NY
I’ve just been suspect of Shayna’s intentioned ever since I visited links she posted only to find out much later that she received money from it. But I didn’t read this is particularly rude, I think people might be protective of Kat maybe for that reason, since Shayna posts so much, has her own blog, and lately has been diverting readers through her links (though to her credit she did stop when someone told her it was overload)
Pot, Kettle, etc
Actually, I don’t find Shayna’s comment rude. The comment section is for soliciting our feedback about the items posted, and her feedback is “this necklace is absurd.” It’s a valid reaction to the item posted, regardless of whether you agree with her opinion. Not liking something isn’t rude. Many other posters have had similar responses. That’s not a “belittling” remark or a personal attack.
Unlike your comment, RR.
Couching your criticism of Shayna in phrases like “that’s just my opinion” and “maybe it’s just me” doesn’t make it less rude.
(Feel free to call me rude for calling you rude. I’m aware.)
Shayna
Thanks! When I checked back to see if any interesting threadjacks were posted I was kind of shocked!
Actually… even more shocked than I was by the $632 necklace!
And yes – I was trying to make my I-don’t-get-why-anyone-would-buy-something-this-expensive-yet-not-made-of-some-kind-of-semi-precious-stones-at-least into something amusing
Suze
Thanks CJ – way to say it.
Shayna is chatty, not catty, and she is usually either chiming in or trying to help. Cracking a little joke and expressing her opinion is not rude, it’s what the site is for. The beauty of this place is the sisterly/supportive feel of it (and Shayna is part of that), Kat does a great job of setting up ‘inspirational’ fashion suggestions (seriously, none of us is going to buy most of the things she puts up most of the time, we probably all just pick up some things sometimes and mostly we take the idea and extrapolate or laugh or whatever) , and ‘bullying’ posters because one thinks they talk too much or because one disagrees with the comments or simply has decided not to ‘like’ the commenter is just not part of this site’s culture.
In short, remember what your mother (or grandmother) said: if you can’t say something nice, it’s really best not to say anything, at least here. There are certainly plenty of sites where sniping and snarking are the order of the day (ATL anyone?), but let’s not turn this into one of them.
As Interrobang would say, “carry on darlings” (and let’s be nice).
UnSub
Thanks for the reminder, Suze. You are right and I appreciate it. :)
Sorry for adding on, Shayna.
Shayna
Thanks Suze ;-)
Sometimes I hate the 2-D effect that type has — if I had been able to say what I said in my joking/giggly tone, none of y’all would have thought poorly of me – I promise!
RR
I don’t dislike Shayna in general, which is why I was a little put off by reading multiple posts in a tone that just struck me as a little rude. And, of course, I am entitled to my opinion. I’m not trying to “couch” it in a certain way, but rather to recognize that not everyone feels the way I do. But some people do. She can take the observation or leave it. It’s certainly no skin off my back either way.
AN
This. I am so glad someone said it!
nonA
I like the way the blue breaks up the necklace, but its a little chunky for my tastes. When you look at it on the mannequin neck, it really is quite large – I just don’t think I could pull it off.
At the end of the day, I think my main problem is that it just doesn’t look like a $632 necklace – it looks like a piece of costume jewelry I’d pick up on a whim for $25 at Macy’s or someplace similar.
AnneCatherine
I second all of this. I was kinda-sorta liking it till I saw it on the mannequin neck, and realized how short (close to the neck) it is, such that the blue bead would be lost up on the side of your neck, especially if you wore a collared shirt and/or your hair down. Also, I hadn’t realized the diameter of the beads until I saw it on the mannequin.
I like the idea of a red necklace though (and I realize I may be in the minority). I find by trolling boutiques (not expensive ones; I just mean, holes in the wall) and vintage stores, I can get stuff with a similar vibe for far, far less.
Emily
I think that’s a really cool necklace, but I’d probably be more inclined to buy it from a local artist or try to make it myself (sans the precious gem, most likely). I’ve been thinking of trying to make jewelry myself – anyone have experience or know a good resource for the basics of knot-tying, etc?
anon - chi
If you search on Amazon, you will find tons of craft books on jewelry-making. A better bet (I think) for a first-timer is to find a local bead/craft store and inquire if they offer classes. Many of them do and it’s a great way to get started – the problem with books is that you can’t ask questions!
nonA
Firemoutnaingems is a great resource, and they also have videos on tips and techniques. People can post projects they’ve done and list all the components, so you can get an idea of what is involved in making different things.
I started buying kits for the first few items I made, just so I could get instructions and know that I would have everything I needed. Once I got a little more confidence and knowledge, I went off on my own and just started bulk ordering.
s in Chicago
Check continuing ed classes offered through the park district or local community college, too. I took a jewelry-making one years ago held once a week on an evening at our local high school as a winter pick-me-up activity. I absolutely loved it. We even learned how to solder–there’s something very exciting about using a blow torch! :) Sadly, didn’t keep up with it, but I had a lot of fun.
Actually, I highly recommend doing a fun class now and then for stress relief regardless. The jewelry making kind of inspired me to pick up a new activity now every winter. (This past year it was pet massage. Year before web design, year bfore that a few cooking classes…)
Anonymous
Pet message? My cat insists that I ask you for more details.
S in Chicago
I totally recommend. My 14-year-old rat terrier had limited range from a knee surgery, getting mauled a few years ago, and the normal aches that come from getting older. He absolutely LOVED it, and I actually saw him improve quite a bit. We even got into a bit of a routine before bedtime where he’d jump up on the bed and roll over. Sadly, he recently passed from cancer. But in the last few days I had with him, one of the moves they gave us for their ears was one of the few things that seemed to bring him comfort. I am totally not a New Age-y type–but I really can’t say enough good things about massage. Even just as a way to bond and relax, it was really great.
If you’re Chicago area, check out Animal Sense. I don’t see them offering it this session, but this was my instructor http://animalsense.com/site/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=90&itemid=42&28e5bbf660cb545fc854f5c048c7be7c=ad0f0ed30c95051582d98a0028f71997. I know she mentioned she has worked with cats, too.
If you’re not Chicago area, I’d recommend checking out The Healing Touch for Dogs by Dr. Michael Fox–the instructor had recommended it. It covers a lot of the moves and I’d imagine it would be just as applicable to cats since their anatomy is so similar. I’ll warn you, expect a lot of talk of “energies” etc. though. :)
Chicago S
Thanks for the link, I know my tabby loves belly rubs but this could take it to the next level.
Anonymous
I am in Chicago! My kitty thanks you.
em
Pet massage is great – relieves stress and pressure on the joints or potential trouble areas for the breed and helps you bond with your pet. I took my dogs to obedience school at the Humane Society this summer and the trainer there swore by it. We spent about 5-10 minutes doing it every class, and he encouraged us to do it every day.
PG
Speaking of “nonsensical”,
Here is a cami for $695!
http://www.jcrew.com/womens_feature/NewArrivals/shirts/PRDOVR~29521/29521.jsp
surrounded by lawyers
Unbelievable! I thought surely you were kidding, but it got even better when I saw that J. Crew called it “effortless” and something “every woman” should have. $695 certainly represents “effort” to me, and I suspect that almost “every woman” would agree with that.
Anonymous
Also, three tiers of lace and a bow is the opposite of “effortless.” I’d call it “fussy” and “overdone.” Fail, J. Crew.
C2
Well, that pretty much seals what the inconsistent sizing and quality began — I’m done with JCrew. That is so absurd it’s offensive.
Unless of course I’m just too uncouth to recognize quality “French cotton” when I see it.
v
Wait, could that be a typo? Or did I miss a total shift in J. Crew’s business strategy? Insane.
Anonymous
Shift in business strategy. They’ve started offering ‘luxe’ goods at designer prices in addition to their usual stuff.
Clerky
This HAS to be a typo, right? Even $69.50 is too much for this horrid thing, much less $695. I’m flummoxed.
L
Hell to the no!!
Anonymous Today
Hello ladies, the lace is hand-finished from France! Don’t you know that makes it worth the $700. You could wear it with this jacket:
http://www.jcrew.com/womens_feature/jcrewcollection/jackets/PRDOVR~29084/29084.jsp
In all seriousness, as J. Crew has gotten more popular, I feel it’s gone so downhill. And the addition of the J. Crew collection line means, to me, that they are not going to focus as much on their basic line and we’ll see another decrease in quality. Sigh.
Ru
That is one fabulous jacket (barf).
JessC
Seriously. It looks like a miniature wooly mammoth crawled up on her shoulders/chest and died.
Anna D.
Is it just me, or does that model look homeless?? I mean, WHAT?
Suze
LMAO!! Between $1600 for a bunch of hideous ostrich feathers, the homeless model and the various interpretations of the $632 costume jewelry necklace a la ‘mother’s day’ gifts (I keep thinking about the cherry tomato/grape comments and then extrapolate to some glitter glued pasta nightmare…), I haven’t had such a good laugh in a while. Thanks Corporettes for adding much needed levity to my day!!
Anonymous
She is wearing sweatpants and two jackets and has very dirty hair, anyway.
C2
I can see it now: the French lace cami, the $1600 goat-fur hobo coat, and peeptoe booties. Look out, world!
Suze
EXACTLY :)! While driving home after spending too much time here today, I was envisioning the homeless model clad in the ostrich feather disaster and ridiculous cami (to the tune of $2200 worth of junk), cashmere stirrup harem pants with suspenders and the peep toe booties with a strand of glass okra around her neck. Tee hee!!
Amy H.
HA! That was awesome, Suze.
Anonymous Today
This made me laugh the first time I read it and I am still chuckling! This may be my favorite conversation ever on Corporette.
michelle
thanks for the jacket post, laugh out loud funny :-)
The cami… I was mulling over some version of a Scarlett OHara making-dress-out-of-curtains crack, but I wasn’t quite there yet, and this jacket just totally dominated and distracted me…
Suze
Yes. Ostrich feather curtains rule! And for Scarlett purposes, tomorrow is another day…and another sartorial opportunity :>
LawyrChk
That fur is horrid. Just wow.
AnneCatherine
Yeah, I probably just shouldn’t comment anymore when the world has come to this. Clearly, I am not keeping up with the modern times, if the modern times require us to dress like Herself the Elf, or Peter Pan. Just, what is with the olive green/chartreuse polyester pants, and the scalloped top? Also, won’t Old Navy have this same top for $32? I feel like I own it (the Old Navy one).
Sorry so cranky, just, what? What JCrew?
Anonymous Today
This is my favorite (I swear I’m not a J. Crew hater or anything; even though the quality’s gone down I still like a ton of their stuff):
http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Navigation/JCrewCollection/Jcrewcollectioncategory/jackets/PRDOVR~29082/29082.jsp
And it’s sold out! Really people? I can’t imagine having anywhere to wear that. (And yes, I realize there are obviously some people who have somewhere to wear it, or else it wouldn’t have sold out.)
anon-ny
I don’t even know WHAT that is! And the camisole is absurd. I fell off the J Crew bandwagon a few years ago when I finally confessed to myself preppy/girly is not and never will be my style although I occasionally find a piece here and there I like but these things? BLECH! A good reason to steer clear entirely.
Emily
Haha, that jacket looks like a tree fungus grew over her shoulders. I bet they only had three to start.
I really liked it when J Crew had the sequined short shorts that were outrageously expensive and looked like a bead-azzled flesh-colored diaper. At least the catalogue makes me laugh.
Lola
That’s the same model that’s in the ugly brown fur coat. I hope she gets to keep the sample clothes after the shoot! Not.
ES
these aren’t shorts, but definitely be-dazzled.
http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Navigation/JCrewCollection/Jcrewcollectioncategory/pantsskirts/PRDOVR~30039/30039.jsp
EG
Agree, this is one hideous jacket. Maybe it is sold out because J Crew was kind enough to only make a few of them!
UnSub
“…this is the camisole every woman should own…” Are they kidding? Do they realize the state of the economy and the unemployment rate right now? I am offended by J. Crew’s insensitivity.
Shayna
OMG… and as a grown woman I try to avoid “OMG” but my general level of shock is interfering with my ability to communicate!
Even if it was Chanel/Christian Dior/etc. I wouldn’t get that!
KelliJ
I’m really flabbergasted. A $695 cami? It’s JCrew for pete’s sake! Is it just me or does anyone else feel that if you’re going to pay serious money for an item, you at least want a designer name attached.
Suze
Flabbergasted, flummoxed, fl__whatever… There is NO cami in the world worth $700, is there? Really, people..is Jcrew serious (I can’t even be bothered to click on the link…I could buy all the camis I reasonably might wear in my lifetime for $700. and I might – just might – spend north of $50 on ONE of them for an oh so special outfit or occasion, but I’d still have hundreds left for the rest of my everyday cami-needing life. For real.
Rachel
Someone over there is either delusional or trying to kill their new “luxe” line as quickly as possible.
Bonnie
I went to the J.Crew outlet last week and it was absurd. $50 thin cotton t-shirts that were supposed to be some great deal.
Sharon
Oh good grief. It’s a cute necklace, and I can find it for $60 or less in any number of little boutiques. $632 for costume jewelry like that is insane, Kat. For $632, I want something that is actually worth $632.
A.M.
I must be alone, or practically alone, in this but I think it looks cheap/tacky/plastic-y/take your pick. It reminds me of those Mother’s day ‘gifts’ I would make for my mother in pre-school when we were given a tub full of various beads and some string and just let loose. Then my mother would feel obligated to wear it, poor her.
I’m a bit too OCD to handle the offset blue on myself, but I actually do like that concept.
2L NYC
I agree. I actually just threw a necklace like this away.
PG
My post got eaten. TWICE. I am not posting too qucikly. grrrrr
This is 3rd attempt.
I bought Sofft pumps from Kats post the other day. Only issue is that I had to buy half size up -8 instead of usual 7.5.
How true to size are Sofft shoes? Is there anything that I can use to prevent my feet sliding forward in pumps?
Anonymous
I read somewhere (here?) to use dancer’s lambswool for the feet sliding forward problem.
AN
I found them too narrow for my admittedly wide feet. Perhaps it’s just the 2 of us:)
RMac
Charming Charlie (http://www.charmingcharlie.com/blog for locations and trends) has a TON of statement accessories that won’t break the bank. So when you drop $300 on a traditional black Banana Republic suit, you don’t feel quite so bad spending $20 on the statement necklace you need to dress it up. Just be sure you pick a simple piece with natural-looking stones or you run the risk of looking cheap and fake.
yup
word. AND charming charlie’s is organized by color. FANTASTIC.
Law-Less
I’ve never heard of charming charlie’s. Do they sell their products online? It doesn’t look like it from the link you posted.
Shayna
Thank you! Very awesome, seeing as I try to use statement jewelry in a multi-week rotation which averages out my wear-the-same-black-pants every day clothing rotation :-)
Amy
Threadjack. Long story, but bear with me.
So, there’s a particular type of person I have encountered in every office I’ve ever worked in, whom I will call the Hall Monitor. How I came up with this name is that I tend to categorize people by how they probably acted in the fifth grade. The Hall Monitor is the girl who was, in fact, a hall monitor and was practically drunk with power whenever she got to lead the line to the bathroom. She is the girl who without fail would tell the teacher if anyone broke any rule, no matter how minor, while the teacher was out of the classroom. She’s the girl all the parents loved (so polite! so neatly dressed! so conscientious!) but you and all your friends hated her and you had to be forced to invite her to your birthday parties, where she inevitably started crying because people were “mean” to her and then you and your friends got lectured about playing nicely. In high school, she was the student council secretary or treasurer who knew Robert’s Rules of Order backwards and forwards and would correct people if they got things wrong. In college, she was the girl in your sorority house or dorm who NEVER drank, NEVER smoked, NEVER snuck boys in, and would be more than happy to tell the RA/house mother that YOU had done those things. Now she is all grown up and looking for a way to triumph over her peers, as she did back in the good ol’ days.
Our office has a Hall Monitor. She is mostly tolerable most of the time. I mainly just try to avoid her as I was a Bad Girl in school and despite many years of corporate housebreaking, I remain a Bad Girl at heart and Bad Girls and Hall Monitors don’t mix. We pretend to be friends but I think we both know, deep down, that if we ever really got into it with each other the claws would come out. So I maintain a fake-friendly, cheerful distance.
However. The Hall Monitor just sent out an unsolicited email pointing out some spelling, grammar, and language usage errors she has seen in people’s documents this week (she’s an editor and more or less all our written products go through her). She didn’t call anyone out by name in the e-mail. But one of the “errors” she pointed out was made by one of my subordinates, and I know this because Hall Monitor went over to my subordinate earlier in the week and had a loud (much louder than necessary) conversation about it with her. Well, Hall Monitor’s email went to everyone in the company, including our company president. Now my subordinate is upset. She thinks “everyone” will know she made a boo-boo because “everyone” heard Hall Monitor chastising her for it earlier in the week (we do have a pretty small office). I have tried to explain that Hall Monitor is not targeting her, Hall Monitor is just like that and will not change, and the good thing about Hall Monitors is that they’re actually rarely taken seriously by people who actually have power. Subordinate is not soothed by this. She feels personally slighted. I have told her to more or less “cowgirl up” and get over it. But now I am wondering if I should say something to Hall Monitor, and if so, what I should say? I don’t really want her sending out things that upset my employees, especially when the “infraction” is so petty and pointless, and could easily be remedied with a PRIVATE email to the person committing the error.
However, my past experience with Hall Monitors is that they tend to go crying to Teacher (aka the boss) whenever someone calls them on some of their BS. I don’t need that right now. Boss and I are pretty good friends (genuinely) but Hall Monitor has known Boss longer. Also, since I am somewhat known for being “assertive” and Hall Monitor is known for being “sensitive,” I have a feeling Hall Monitor will successfully be able to characterize this as “Amy was picking on me!” Boss won’t buy that but will probably have to say something anyway. I have to take my car to the shop after work and I’m stressed out enough anyway without starting Days-of-Our-Lives level drama in the office today.
So, my fellow travelers, any advice for me? It’s much appreciated, if you have some. Thanks!
Anonymous
Do you get a decent amount of emails in your inbox? If so, you could approach (or email) the Hall Monitor and say something like “I really appreciate that you are ensuring our work product is excellent quality, and I know that correcting errors like these is you job and completely necessary. But I get a large volume of emails every day, and would appreciate if you would limit your emails to the people who made errors instead of sending an office-wide email.”
She would be hard-pressed to create a sob-story out of that, and it would also avoid the possible mothering vibe of protecting your employees (which you’re not, but I could see a Hall Monitor pulling that).
Anonymous Today
I don’t really know what I would do in this situation. Well, it seems like you have already done what I would do, which is to tell the subordinate to get over it (worded more nicely, of course). Even though you generally avoid her, it does seem like you’re on good terms with the Hall Monitor and I wouldn’t want to be on her bad side (just because it’s annoying to be on the bad side of these types). So, I probably wouldn’t say anything to the Hall Monitor unless it happens again, gets worse, etc. (This may not be the “right” thing to do, as it does sound like the Hall Monitor was in the wrong, but I’m a big believer in picking my battles.)
So, no real advice, but I do sympathize! I never really thought of myself as a “bad girl” in high school/college, but looking back, I guess I kind of was. I guess I just never saw myself that way because I got good grades and got along with my parents. Anyway, Hall Monitors have always annoyed me. Ugh. It’s almost like I can’t stand to be around them. There is a woman like this in my office and I used to sit by her (when we moved offices, a lot of us got put in a general pool and junior associates were mixed with assistants, etc.) When I saw by her she would constantly listen to my phone conversations, make comments about what I was doing on my computer, ask why I wasn’t coming to staff meetings, etc. The one time she told me a meeting was mandatory (and just did it in a really snotty way). The meeting was mandatory for her, but not me. Argh! It’s really hard to explain her fully, but it sounds like you really know her type already!
K
Amy — are you the same Amy who responded about stirrup pants coming back in style? If so, I think we should be new BFFs.
My two cents? Re-read your own post — you’ve already answered your own question. “Cowgirl up” yourself — this is a losing battle and by trying to modify HM’s behavior, you are sending the exact opposite message to subordinate from what you told subordinate to do (see HM’s behavior for what it is).
Suze
Amy, your description of Hall Monitor is so perfect (and unfortunately reminds me (a) that I am a Bad Girl, albeit ‘housebroken’ like you and (b) that my youngest daughter is – eek – exhibiting some Hall Monitor behaviors to counter her older sister’s Bad Girl. Your narrative made me smile!
That said, to the point of what to do: you already know. Tell Subordinate in no uncertain terms to ‘cowgirl up’ – she has to be a Big Girl eventually and you aren’t doing her or you any favors by trying to protect/coddle/soothe her. Ignore Hall Monitor and don’t throw fuel on her little email fire, she already looks bad enough (EVERYONE, including Boss, hates ‘all hands’ emails especially when they are negative/whiny and Hall Monitor’s was) so the best thing for you to do is stay out of it.
You are fine, Subordinate will either be fine or have to figure out an easier softer way, Boss is fine, and Hall Monitor will eventually step in some cr*p of her own making and have a permanent stink on her from it…
Go get your car, play with your boy and have a nice tall glass of wine or a martini when you get home.
K
@Suze: You should be my new BFF too. :)
divaliscious11
Don’t know but there is definitely a “Hall Monitor” on my MBA team and em has been forever branded…..lol
Seriously – I’d approach her on it from a management perspective, in that if there is an issue with your subordinate’s work product, you prefer she bring it to your attention so that you can address as needed. Her going to your ‘ee is inappropriate if you are ultimately responsible for her work, and (while you don’t have to mean this part literally, it is true) if there is real problem you can’t document it if necessary for review time.
Suze
Amy, notwithstanding my prior comment, Divaliscious makes a point about approaching Hall Monitor re “if there is an issue with my subordinate, please bring it to me …” Hall Monitor won’t really have a good response, but from a ‘hierarchical’ perspective, I think Diva’s point might be well taken.
Given all the dynamics, I’d do it in the most low key kind of way and definitely in a ‘one on one’ (NO EMAIL) with Hall Monitor. And if it has all blown over by tomorrow, I might consider letting it go ‘this time’ and being fully prepared next time (there will be one, of course, Hall Monitor is not and never will be able to reign in her postage stamp’s worth of ‘power’).
Hope this helps. And, thanks Diva, for giving me good perspective. Hall Monitor lives in my office too (in about three different toxic life forms) and an unfortunate, unnecessary amount of time and energy is spent trying to, ahem, work around her, so this is all good in terms of learning.
Good luck Amy!
LawyrChk
Hm, I’d actually be tempted to put it in writing as a CYA. If never trust Hall Monitors to tell the full/correct story if she decides to complain to superiors.
Anonymous
Second diva’s opinion.
I am so ashamed to admit I was a Hall Monitor in grade school (peers loathed me, parents/teachers adored me) but stopped when I entered high school:(
I secretly dream of being a BAD GIRL:)
Shayna
Any chance she also is a secretary/someone without any “real” power? That’s the type that I find where I work — drunk with the smallest amount of power they can scrape together.
Sadly the only thing I can say is that your best move is to avoid … I’ve learned it the hard way, but even if everyone thinks she’s a pain, if she’s the boss’s secretary (for example… like the Hall Monitor in my company is), then she;s likely to get her way…like a bulldozer.
Amy
Thanks for the replies everyone!! After I posted this, Boss came into my office to talk about something else and said “What is the deal with Hall Monitor and those emails?! Jeez, maybe I need to give her more stuff to do or something.” I ha-ha-ha’d and changed the subject but it was good to know Boss also thinks the prissy little emails are ridiculous. I think what I have finally learned is that ignoring what the Hall Monitor does is worse for her than if someone actually says something, which she can then blow up into some kind of drama.
Anyway – I appreciate the commiseration and it’s good to know others are also dealing with this personality type. I also would like to clarify – I am not *really* a Bad Girl as I always got good grades, got in very minimal trouble (nothing I couldn’t handle, let’s say), and got along with my parents (well, mostly, a couple years in high school notwithstanding). But I have had this lifelong, ongoing rivalry with these Hall Monitor types. The Hall Monitor in my 5th grade class is the archetype and I seem to keep encountering her over and over, wherever I go, in one form or another. Some kind of karmic lesson maybe? Who knows.
Anyway – subordinate is feeling better as I forwarded her an email Boss sent me last week praising her work. Car wasn’t as broken as I thought it was. I didn’t have to make dinner tonight which is always a bonus. Boy and husband are in getting bath done and I have a very nice Pinot Grigio next to me. Hope everyone has a great evening – and Anonymous 4:10, Anonymous Today, K, Suze, divalicious11 and Shayna – thanks for the support. :)
Suze
Oh, good, Amy…glad to hear it’s past high drama. Hall Monitor WILL eventually step in it (sounds like she’s on her way), Subordinate is good for now (perhaps needs a little coaching in ‘cowgirl up’ for future ref), and it sounds like Boss is ~very good, so it’s all good.
Now, about that Bad Girl thing…I also made the grades and did everything ‘right’ on the surface, but I classify myself as a Bad Girl because I (a) drank when I was underage/not supposed to; (b) smoked whatever was around at the time (nicorette is my drug of choice now); (c) copped attitude wherever I could; and (d) didn’t conform to exactly what the Lily Pulitzer clones at my circa early eighties VA ‘womens’ college’ were doing at the time AND I never got in ‘trouble’ (that was sort of the objective, right? be good enough to stay out of trouble and bad enough to have well, fun, right)…I LIKE the Bad Girl label (although I don’t love its manifestations in my preteen daughter:)) .
Glad it’s calmed down and that you had a nice evening with hubby and son. FWIW, I got (unexpectedly) to spend the evening with my son and his stepdad/my hubby and a few close neighbor friends at the local tavern…Bad Girls never retire, they just move to suburbia :> tomorrow onto middle school orientation…for the next Bad Girl :).
Anna D.
I can’t pay $632 for a necklace, either, but it’s worth remembering that 1) sapphires are EXPENSIVE, and that one’s not small, and 2) you pay for expertise/name/etc. It’s not like Tiffany silver jewelry actually costs anywhere near as much to make as they charge for it.
@Emily – firemountaingems.com and artbeads.com have really good intro-to-jewelry-making basics online.
Ann
I think this is beautiful. Not my colors, but I could certainly see paying this much for a similar necklace someday when I have the money. I like seeing the more expensive pieces of jewelry on here because they remind me to actually buy new stuff from time to time. I love Gilt for unusual and well-made pieces.
Lynette
I think that it is un-realistic to expect an independent jewelry designer/maker to price their pieces along the same price points as the mass produced (usually in China) pieces that you find at Charming Charlies, Claires, and some of the other places that you all are describing.
I checked out the artist’s site and she has some nice pieces. Oh and the necklace is being sold on her site for a tad bit cheaper than what Revolve is selling it for.
Anonymous Today
I think the point people are trying to make is not simply that it’s expensive, but that it’s expensive and not worth the money.
I personally like the Etsy suggestion. I’ve found some great pieces on there.
Lynette
“Worth” is an individual and subjective term. If there are women out there who are willing to pay the prices that she’s asking, then they think that the items are worth it.
Anonymous Today
Obviously it’s subjective and individual; you clearly missed my point. To the people commenting, it’s not worth it. To them individually. I don’t think anyone who commented tried to make a definitive statement declaring this item overpriced for every single person in the world.
Anon.
There are people on Etsy making jewelry that looks very much like this, or is even more technically demanding, for much less money. Please, let’s not say that just because the item isn’t mass produced that it is necessarily “worth” the cost. I have seen artisan-produced jewelry that took much more skill than this to create selling for less just about everywhere. Not on tony designer-clothing websites, but it is out there.
I personally find it interesting that Revolve included in the description that the artist is a cancer survivor and that she donates some of her proceeds to charity. Almost like, look, here’s this really simple glass bead necklace, but don’t feel guilty about dropping $600 for it, because the maker had cancer and she gives to charity! Things like that make me feel manipulated.
Lynette
Yes, there are people on etsy who are selling items for much less, and I actually have no problem with the posters who pointed out the etsy sellers. But some of the posters have gone so far as to say that they could find something just like the item featured at Forever 21. I’d like to meet the person who has seen jewelry with sapphires being sold at Forever 21 or Charming Charlies.
I like the necklace and I’d have no problem paying that kind of money for it. Sure there are women who feel that it’s not worth it-but to say that they can find a piece just like it at Macy’s for $15.00 is exagerating.
2L NYC
I think they might have meant the general style — rather than one with an actual sapphire. That’s at least what I meant by my comment, particularly as the sapphire doesn’t seem the focal point of such a bright piece.
JAS
I majored in Econ. When we were studying prices, my professor told a joke that always stuck with me…
A man is walking around town with a dog on leash, calling, “Dog for sale! Dog for sale!” When people ask him how much, he says, “One million dollars!”
“You’re crazy!” everyone says. But a few days later he is walking around town without the dog. Someone stops him and says, “So did you sell the dog?”
“Yep!”
“Did you get a million dollars for him?”
“Sure did!”
“WHO paid you a million dollars for the dog???”
“The same guy that sold me two cats for $500K each.”
Moral of the story: Price is determined by what people are willing to pay.
ceb
As I posted above, I love this necklace but hate its price. However, the necklace Kat posted inspired me to start looking for a necklace red-beaded necklace. Isn’t that the point?!?!
Perhaps I’m wrong, but I’ve always looked at Kat’s posts as an inspirational starting point rather than a dictate regarding what every good corporette must wear. The number of people on this site who have said “Oh, I like that! I’m going to go search Etsy,” indicates to me that this was a successful post regardless of price.
Well done Kat! Keep the inspiration flowing!
UnSub
Very good comment, ceb. Kat’s posts sometime move me out of my comfort zone and I need that inspiration even if the price point does not work for me.
anon3L
I definitely agree. Clearly my broke law student self won’t be purchasing this, but I’ll keep my eye out for something like it. Ditto your thanks and kudos to Kat.
Suze
This!
i must be getting old
So, I’ve noticed a number of Corporettes making similar comments (e.g. This!) lately. I’m a little behind the curve. What does “this” mean? Does it mean “I agree”? Where does this expression come from?
Anonymous
No clue either, but corporette is the only place I see it used that way.
anon
It’s a corporette-ism, and it means not only do I agree, but “this is exactly the right way to put it.” I find it very effective.
Suze
Exactly. Thanks anon for explaining…it took me awhile here to know what it meant, and now that I do, I like to use it ‘as appropriate.’
SJ
Just FYI, it’s not a creation of this blog – you’ll see it on many comment heavy sites.
i must be getting old
Excellent. Thanks for the clarification, all!
Kaye
Yup – and in my case, I’m re-appreciating the $30 red glass bead necklace I got a few weeks ago (no sapphire though) :)
TX Fifth Year Attorney
Thanks, Anna D., for reminding me that sapphires are expensive, and this one isn’t small. Like so many posters, I loved the necklace and sighed after reading the price. Good to remember that there’s a reason this isn’t cheap. I agree with CEB – though I can’t afford this necklace, Kat provided some inspiration for me. (PG and Anonymous Today – loved your JCrew links. Made me gasp in shock and then laugh out loud!)
Quick question: About 2 months ago on a Weekend Roundup post on Corporette, a lady named Wendy added a comment about her very terrible job situation at a small firm. It sounded awful times ten. I’m hoping Wendy is reading and will let us know how things are going for her. We’re still pulling for you!
Amy
I was just thinking about this the other day. Wendy, please update!
C2
From one of the etsy artists recommended by lawDJ above:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/38629217/siren-lusty-red-coral-necklace-is-long
lawDJ, I am going to continue stalking your recommendations, because I also have you to thank for those $6 JCP silk (ok fine, “silk”) shells, which I finally received and found to be pretty darn lovely, all things considered (and all shoulder pads removed). Thanks again!
Forestgirl
Etsy-related threadjack–has anyone ever bought anything from the Etsy seller Valhalla Brooklyn? The bags on her site are lovely-looking and I wanted to know if anyone has any experience with them in person. (I’m sometimes skeptical about the feedback on Etsy itself because I tend to think that most people with negative things to say end up not posting feedback because they don’t want to hurt the seller’s feelings. Also, not totally relevant but it drives me crazy that you can’t sort the feedback to view only the negative or neutral feedback. Argh! Silly Etsy.)
Sharon
No knowledge of that particular etsy seller, but you all MUST read regretsy.com. You will die laughing.
Res Ipsa
oh, yeah. That’s one of those websites I’ve banned myself from looking at in the office, because tears tend to start streaming down my face because I am laughing so hard.
Suze
cannot pick myself up off the floor..HILARIOUS!! thanks for giving me a deep belly laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ES
that is amazing. thank you
75
This is the year of the red necklace, very nice. I bought two beauties at Dillards, each one for one-tenth of the price of the one shown today.
AN
Oh, I love this. The only necklaces I wear to work are either a pearl strand/plain gold necklace and the usual work appropriate pendants. I have been thinking I should branch out a bit more into something unusual, more creative etc and this type of thing (I was thinking turquoise also) is it!
Thank God for low Asian prices:) who in their right mind would pay $650 for this??
PaintedHorse
Thank you, lawDJ and C2 for mentioning my Etsy shop and necklace! Please stop by anytime…