Coffee Break – Saxton Wedges

Calvin Klein - SaxtonHmmn: I don’t think we’ve featured this Saxton wedge before, but it comes in a zillion colors, which is usually the mark of a winner, and they look super flexible in the Zappos video. I like the marbled leather on these black wedges, though — there’s a slight shimmery effect, but it looks much more comfortable than patent leather. (To those of you who hate toe cleavage, watch out: apparently these do show a fair amount of your toe.) They’re $49-98 at Zappos, 6PM, and Endless.



  1. Those are perfect. I wonder if they sell them in Europe?

  2. Planning a trip to VA soon. Any suggestions on where to go, what to do, or where to stay?

    • Anonymous :

      What part of Virginia? It is 11 hours from one end of the state to the other…

    • And what types of things do you like to do? Virginia has a bit of everything.

    • Do you like wine country, because the wine country down in VA is beautiful. You can do a couple days of wine tasting, stay at the vineyards and just toodle around on bike. Its really quite lovely and only a few hours drive from NoVa.

      In NoVa, I’d visit Alexandria and see Old Town. You can also bike out to Mount Vernon (or just do it.)

      Charlottesville and Monticello (and the mountains around there) are also beautiful.

      • These are good suggestions. Charlottesville can also be easily combined with a visit to wine country. There is also good hiking in the area. Old Town Alexandria is nice, too, but I’d probably recommend a visit to Charlottesville/wine country over a visit to Northern Virginia if you’re looking for a relaxing weekend away from the city. Then again, Charlottesville is one of my favorite places of all time, so I might be biased. :) Charlottesville would probably be about a 7 hour drive (excluding traffic delays) from NYC.

        • You can also go tubing around Charlottesville (or kayaking or other water sports). But the tubing is especially fun. Basically, you relax on a water tube and drink beer (though I think they’ve cracked down on that) and you float down a lazy river. Its lovely.

        • You can also visit the Walton Museum (as in the Waltons tv show) not too far from Charlottesville.

          Richmond is a nice low-key place to visit, too, if you are in that area. Lots of Civil War history.

    • Google Skyline drive and plan around it. There are also quaint villages, wineries, caverns and other attractions in the region, and you won’t find better views.
      If you are seriously into food, try to get a reservation at the Inn at Little Washington (VERY expensive!)

    • Richmond! Love any chance to plug my city. Lots of great restaurants here (let me know if you want specific recommendations). I also love the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts, which was recently renovated, and the Canal Walk is nice. Carytown is a cute area with great boutiques – lots of fun to wander through. If you’re coming during the summer or fall, there’s some kind of festival just about every weekend here. If you’re interested in splurging, the Jefferson Hotel is gorgeous and full of history (their champagne brunch isn’t bad, either).

      Also second Charlottesville and the wine country! I think if you google “Monticello Wine Trail” you should find a website with tons of info and maps to plan a nice driving tour. Veritas Vineyard just opened a farmhouse bed and breakfast that looks amazing (although I haven’t been). Let me know if you want more ideas, and I’ll be happy to share.

    • Couldn't Wait to Quit :

      I second the recommendations for Mt. Vernon – it’s 2 miles from my house! Do keep in mind that it is blazing hot here in the summer, and you will be outside quite a bit at Mt. Vernon, so visit early in the day. In the Mt. Vernon “neighborhood” you’ll also find George Washington’s Distillery and Grist Mill (buy souvenir corn meal!), Frank Lloyd Wright’s Pope Leighy (sp?) House, and Gunston Hall, another lovely colonial home. You can do those three as a day trip and have dinner in Old Town Alexandria in the evening. Also in Northern VA is the Air and Space Museum’s Udvar Hazy Center at Dulles Airport, which has a space shuttle and Concorde and a lot of other really neat planes.

    • SoCalAtty :

      I love these shoes! I need to talk about shoes now, hive, because my very flip attitude made me look like a$$ this morning, as per usual. When does my mouth (keyboard?) not get me in trouble? Oh, never.

      Just by way of updates – mamabear the Naturalizer shoes you recommended last we are fantastic! I’ve been wearing the heck out of them.

      • Just saw this – yay!

      • Man, I missed the whole flip attitude thing this morning. If it helps, I think people overreacted and I also think these shoes are cute :-)

        Also — wait until your sinus infection wears off. :-P

      • eh, SoCal, you’re fine. Just sezzin’. Does Shakeology taste good? Is it filing? I (shamefully) own Brazil Butt Lift and see the ads for Shakeology, but the price scares the bejeezus out of me.

    • All the suggestions are great – VIRGINIA IS FOR LOVERS, don’t you know?! Since you’re driving, recommend avoiding I-495/95 between DC and Fredericksburg on weekends and during rush hour. Also avoid Rt 64 between Richmond and VA Beach (going east on Fri afternoon/Sat AM and westbound on Sundays).

    • I love the Staunton area – great downtown, shops, and restaurants. And the Blackfriar’s Playhouse, which does Shakespeare (and other plays) and usually has two or three running on any given weekend. The same actors do it all.

  3. Clothes Steamer :

    Posted this earlier, but it got stuck in moderation (because of the links, of course).

    Any suggestions on a clothes steamer? I’ve been looking at past threads (,, but was hoping for more current recommendations or any further advice. I want this for some of my nicer clothes, to avoid having to iron (which needlessly makes me nervous, even though I’ve never had an issue and been ironing for years), and isn’t a huge hassle. I’m going to be mostly using it in my place, so durability in terms of use is important but in terms of dropping it/travel is not so much. (I mean, it’d be great to have a travel one, but I’d rather have a really good one for home and then worry about a travel one if that ever comes up as a need.)

    Read more:

    • Jiffy Steamer J-2000 M (M means the one with wooden handle and metal head). I think you can get them for about $179 and they are worth every penny. Mine has saved me countless dollars in dry cleaning bills. I know several people with steamers, and they all rave over this model.

  4. I am wearing these right now! They also have them at Macys in a mini wedge version, which I prefer. They are very comfortable. (And this is coming from someone who has been living in flats for the past 2+ years after two very close pregnancies!)

    • My friend has these and wears them almost every day. I love all of these CK shoes with the flexible outsole – they’re always more comfortable than I expect. And cute!

  5. I have these. They are more comfortable than the target wedges, though less comfortable than the cole haan talia wedges. I find they pinch a bit at the joint where your big toe attaches to your foot, though perhaps I have slightly wide feet. Also, they run a bit big. I returned mine and got a 1/2 size smaller. But over all, a solid shoe for a reasonable price.

    • Gurl, don’t suffer, get the shoes stretched! It should be less than $10.

    • Or, get some of the shoe stretcher stuff (which I am pretty sure is rubbing alcohol/isopropanol, at least that’s what it smells like to me) and try that. You spray it on the inside of the shoe and then put the shoe on your foot to stretch it to your specifications. I have slightly wider feet at the big toe joint (I do not want to use the b-word, although I probably have mild ones) and have done this with a pair of shoes recently. It worked okay.

      • Anne Shirley :

        Where do you buy this magical spray?

      • SoCalAtty :

        It is just rubbing alcohol – we use it for tall boots all the time. Just make sure to hit it with a leather conditioner after so the leather doesn’t dry out too much.

  6. Question, I know I’ve seen people discussing the couch to 5k program on this board, and I’m thinking of starting it. I’m 52, need to lose about 15 pounds, and am really not in good shape right now. Due to personal issues, I’ve just let my exercise program fall by the wayside for the last 5 months, and just want to get started doing something again. I wondered if anyone about my age/fitness level had done this, and if it’s really feasible. I have never been much of a runner, I tend to get shin splints, but does starting out slow like this prevent problems like that? Love to hear others’ experiences.

    • I’ve actually known lots of people your age or older who have done couch to 5k and even gone on to do longer distances.

      Tips on the shin splints. (a) Go to a runners store (NOT A sport’s authority, a true runners store) and get matched with good shoes. They should do a stride assessment, which means they should watch you run and walk in the shoes to get a sense of how you pronate. Shin splints are often caused by the shoes we wear. (b) If shin splints persist, do the following exercise. Spell the alphabet with your toes at your desk several times a day, really making sure to emphasize each letter. This will strengthen the muscles in the front of the shin. Then, for relief from the pain, fill dixie cups with water and freeze them. Ice with pressure is the best treatment for shin splints, so peel off the dixie cups a little at a time and rub them on the shins after runs.

      And good luck! You’ll have fun!!! See if you can find a buddy. :-)

      • SF Bay Associate :

        I love this alphabet tip. Do you do it in the air or “write” on the floor? Which joint do you pivot from? Do you only move your foot around (i.e. move from ankle, above ankle is stationary), or calf and foot (move from knee, above knee stationary), or whole leg (move from hip a la pilates)?

        • Move from the ankle, keeping the knee stationary, to really isolate the shin. Doing it now at my desk, I think you can do it with either your heel on the floor or off the floor, but you get more range of motion with your heel off the floor. Key is really that you should feel it in the front and side of your shin (also stretches foot and ankle).

    • If running doesn’t work out for you, I highly recommend Zumba. Super fun so you don’t feel like you’re working out, and are less likely to let it fall by the wayside.

      I agree with the advice to get fitted for shoes at a running store before you begin C25K.

      • Running store employee :

        Hi! Your friendly speciality running store employee here – thanks for the plug TCFKAG – you are right, come to a speciality shop, not a big box store…and another thing about shin splits – they are an unfortunate part of being a new runner, and there is very little that can be done for them. It’s harder to tell people this in person, but online, i’ll tell you flat out – shin splits are part of being out of shape. Now, that’s not a hard and fast rule, but they are something that nag new runners, but you’ll find that as your legs get stronger, you’ll feel them less and less. They are not something that should sideline you, try to run through them – do the walk/run method, but unfortunatly, i don’t think shin splits are something that you can make go away totally with shoes or anything else – just kind of have to deal with them, but yes, starting slow will help.

        • another anon :

          Sorry, but I think the advice to try to “run through” shin splints is not very good. The term “shin splints” is just used to refer to pain in the shins, which could be due to a muscle issue (in which case the stretch that TCFKAG recommends should help), but could also be a stress fracture or the beginnings of a stress fracture. And you do not want to “run through” a stress fracture.

          Really the best thing for the OP to do is to take it slow and stick with the couch to 5K program, even through there may well be a point where from a cardiovascular/endurandce standpoint, she feels like she could skip ahead. If she has shin pain, she should give herself an extra rest day or two, and then if the pain has gone away, start up again where she left off.

          • Agree 100%. Running injuries are not something to mess around with.
            Signed, woman who hasn’t been able to run (or walk long distances) in 5 months due to “running through” an injury

          • I also have to agree—this is poor advice. I suffered with shin splints for four years as a high school athlete, despite being in the best shape of my life—I could run for 5–10 miles without problems, except for the shin splints. Once I changed my shoes and lessened how much I ran, I haven’t had shin splints since (despite being 10 pounds heavier and far less athletic). Shin splints are NOT necessary to run, especially at distances of 5k or under.

    • My mom is in the 60-65 age range and I am constantly recommending Couch to 5K to her as a way to ease in to running. It’s designed to ease people in gradually and combines running/walking to help you work up to running 3 miles over the course of 2 months (or longer if you want, they say it’s fine to repeat weeks if the program seems strenuous).

      While TCFKAG’s advice is spot on for shin splits, personally, I have found when I start slow (such as with Couch to 5K) I tend not to have any issues with shin splints.

    • Cornellian :

      It is true! And they pick up everytime you start running after a break! I ran a marathon last year and I’m definitely feeling the nagging shin splint feeling after 2 mile runs. Sigh.

      Also, I’ve never done couch to 5K but in general, run really, really, really slowly when you start. Run as slowly as you can and then try to slow it down a bit from there. You can definitely work on becoming faster later, but slow seems to be crucial in the beginning.

    • MissJackson :

      I know a pretty fabulous women in her mid-sixties who was very successful with C25K (very successful…. and went on to run a marathon)! I’m not sure how active she was before C25K, though.

      I’ll third or fourth the advice to get yourself to a specialty running store for a shoe fitting.

      One bit of additional unsolicited advice: you cannot run too slowly. Seriously, it’s impossible to go “too slow” when you’re first starting out. You can pretty easily go to the opposite extreme and go too fast, though. If you’re huffing and puffing, you’re going to fast. You shouldn’t be able to sing, but you should be able to say a sentence out loud while running. If you can’t: slow the eff down (note that this applies equally to someone who is running a 7 minute mile and someone who is running a 13 minute mile — doesn’t matter, if you can’t talk, you’re going to fast as a beginner)!

      • Wholeheartedly agree with this. I think many people run too fast for their own abilities and then become discouraged because it is too hard.

    • Op here, thanks for all the advice, I think I’ll give it a try. I did not know you should just run through the shin splints, I always assumed you should stop running, and go back to walking, until they went away. I’ll see how it goes, I have some knee issues that bother me occasionally, hopefully that won’t be a problem. Zumba sounds fun too, but I know my ability to make a scheduled class is really limited.

      • Also, try stretching your calves, not just your shins. Purchase a foam roller. I get shin pain, and this has helped me tremendously.

      • Running through shin splints is a bad idea. You could end up with a stress fracture. The ideal is to avoid them by starting out slowly and not trying to do too much too soon. If you end up with shin splints, take a break from running and do something else for cardio – such as the elliptical or swimming. I was plagued by them until I switched to more minimalist shoes.

      • Please do not take the advice of some random know-it-all on the internet and run through shin splints. As others have noted, they can be a warning sign of a potentially debilitating injury. If you get shin splints, consult a physical therapist or orthopedist before continuing your running program.

      • Agreed – seek a medical opinion before trying to run through shin splints. I ‘ran through it’ a couple of years ago and had to take 6 weeks off from running altogether; I also know people who ended up with a stress fracture. It may just be a matter of starting out slow and doing the exercises which others have recommended (both of these things help, in my experience), but if you do experience shin splint pain, please see your doctor!

    • Same age and same fitness level when I started. I went on to the 8K, 10K, and ran a couple of very slow half-marathons within 18 months. In my experience, each week is hard, then medium hard, then totally OK, and then you’re on to the next step. I don’t love running but it’s efficient, and this program got me going.

    • Another Associate :

      I was a competitive runner for years, and slowly learned what relieved and exacerbated shin splints for me. I had almost no shin splints while I was concurrently taking weekly ballet classes. When shin splints developed after I stopped dancing, I tried various exercises (including the “writing the alphabet with your toes,” “picking up a pencil/marble with your toes,” and “scrunching up a towel with your toes”) but nothing worked as well as doing toe-pointing ballet exercises (like tendu). Keeping your feet strong will also help avoid the fallen arches and foot enlargement that some new runners complain about.

      I second the recommendation to be fitted at a running store, and you should try to find one that will analyze your gait. Even if a store is staffed with semi-pro runners, they are not always trained to identify gait problems in other runners. Remember that you will probably have to size up, both because of how running shoes are sized and also because your feet will swell when you run.

      Give “Born to Run” a read. It is quick and interesting, and will give you some insight into running in a more natural way. I don’t want to stir the barefoot/support shoe debate, but no matter what type of shoes you wear, you should focus on a midfoot strike and definitely avoid a heel strike. For me, heel striking is a quick way to develop shin pain. Another trick that helped me was to try to land as quietly as possible. This naturally makes your muscles absorb the impact rather than your joints.

    • couch to 5 k is great! you can always do the program even slower, if you are concerned about injury — better to take some extra time in the short run and then be able to run in the long run than to rush it at the beginning.

    • I was never a runner and was older and more out of shape (read overweight) than you. I decided to do C25K, but because of my lack of running talent, set up my plan to repeat each week two more times. (A couple of times I did the same week just twice, but only when I felt comfortable doing so.) I had some sore muscles, but managed to avoid shin splints. My goal was to run a 5K for my 55th birthday and I did – after a fashion (all my training had been on a treadmill, so running outdoors was a little bit of an adjustment which appeared to sap my energy on the first 2K).

      I never liked running, but I did love the way I felt after running. After letting it slip for the last few years, my husband and I are restarting again. Once again, I’m counting on doing each week three times and see how it goes.

    • My dad had been not-very-active his whole life, and started the C25k program at 6o (or 61?) and is now running 5k 4x/week happily and easily, and is loving being in shape.

    • I’ve been running for more than 30 years (Gasp, I know that says a lot about my age). Anyway, if I take a long trip where I don’t run for a few weeks (Africa, for example), I will get shin splints if I start out running too fast on my first run back home. If i walk about 3 blocks before starting run, for 3-4 days, this prevents shin splints. I highly recommend walking a quarter mile or so before starting jogging/running to prevent shin splints.

  7. TJ – Has anyone successfully lost weight without counting calories obsessively, going on a highly restricted diet, or working out constantly. I am interested in losing weight the old fashioned way – by improving my diet (e.g., eating more whole foods, less refined sugars) and exercising. Has anyone had any success with this? I would love to hear your story. I know it seems like a silly question, but I don’t know anyone who has lost weight without resorting to somewhat extreme measures.

    I’ll own it – I want to have a cookie from time to time, and a glass of wine (or two). And, I want to work out 4 times a week, not 7.

    • just Karen :

      Honestly, check out the weight watchers online program. They have an option to eat just “power foods” and not count points, but you still get a weekly allowance of extra points for treats… I have only done the traditional point counting (I have never done calorie counting and don’t want to) but it really worked for me! (Admission – I lost 10-15 lb on it and have gained half of it back… but I have been eating crap and not getting much exercising, so seriously, what do I expect?)

      • Seconded. I do the traditional points-counting method. I agree that it’s a [email protected]$$, but if you want to clean up your eating habits, keeping track of everything you eat (even for a little while) is one of the best methods. One cookie here or there isn’t going to be a problem (and if you do try WW, there is room in the program to splurge a little here and there), but keeping track of it helps you see those cookies add up or otherwise identify areas of your diet that can be made healthier.

        • I also recomend the weight watchers method. Its not as tedious as counting calories. And little indulgences are welcome!!!

    • My BF lost about 20 pounds when we moved in together, mainly because I cook healthier food than he does and love to go on ~30 minute walks at night. I bake almost every weekend and love love love wine, but I also love veggies and cooking from scratch so I think it balances out. No other lifestyle changes, but he claims to feel a million times better. He still has some weight he’d like to lose and that will take more than a walk around the park each night, but the transition to healthier meals and more activity is a good starting point.

    • My husband and I have both lost weight on the South Beach diet. The first two weeks are tough, but after that it really is just about eating more vegetables, lean protein and whole grains and staying away from white flour, sugar, potatoes, etc. You can have wine! We did Couch25k and now both run every other day and do weights/abs/etc. the other days usually with one day “off” a week. He has lost more weight than I have (darn men and their ability to drop weight quick) but I have been pretty steady.

      • Yep, my BF has done sort of an Atkins/South Beach hybrid and has lost 30+ pounds. It took a bit less than a year, and he managed it while not really exercising much because of an injury.

    • Always a NYer :

      I do my best to count calories on the Livestrong app but am not vigilant about it. I exercise about 4-5 times a week (walking, weights, Krav Maga) and have dramatically changed my eating habits. I’ll have brown rice over white rice, hardly eat pasta anymore (it was never a favorite of mine to begin with), and double my normal veggie servings. The only sugar I try to have comes from my coffee fix and Skinny Cow Dreamy Clusters when I really need chocolate. Drinking lots of water helps.

      My eating and exercise habits are now something I am very conscious of. I’ve lost about twenty pounds in the last three months and while I have quite a bit more to lose, it feels within my reach because I now know what to do – exercise more and make sure what I’m eating is healthy.

      Good luck and props for wanting to be healthy!!! =)

    • I did. Not a ton of weight but I didn’t have a ton to lose. About five lbs but I only weigh 150 and I’m 5’8. It was a lot of eating salads for lunch, not going back for seconds (or even finishing my plate) when I wasn’t hungry, an making myself stop and think “do I really need this?” before eating.

      • Were you working out much? I am your exact height and weight and feel like I need to lose about 10 – 15 pounds, either that or just get a lot more toned. (Getting in my swimsuit was really unpleasant this year.) Problem is, my calorie intake is low and that doesn’t seem to matter at all. I would like to figure out exactly how much physical exercise I need to do per week to hover at about 135 – 140 and not feel self conscious in a two piece.

        • Midwesterner :

          Hi ladies. I am also the same height and weight. I always thought of myself as “long and lean” until the weight started creeping on. I think back to when I was the thinnest (about 135), and it was when I made it a habit to go to the gym probably 4-5 times a week. I also did not have a desk job (was on my feet much more) and did not snack during the day. Breakfast was a bowl of cereal, lunch was a sandwich on wheat bread with mustard, baby carrots, water, and some sort of treat, and dinner was not necessarily health food but wholesome and potion controlled. I never cut out alcohol (was a wine with dinner person) or deprived myself of anything I loved – although sometimes I would feel really really hungry at work. I hope this helps. Good luck!

          • Midwesterner :

            I think I ate ice cream pretty regularly, as well!

          • Ha! I always thought of myself as “long and lean” as well… and I never had to TRY to be that way. It’s been two years since I was at 135 or so and now, I know it’s going to require some work. I won’t cut out my nightly glass (big glass) of wine, but it sounds like based on our body type, that working out is key. I really want to look toned now that I am no longer “naturally” thin, which is made even more difficult because I used to be a serious athlete. I need to MAKE the time to go to the gym, or at least try to go on a run if the gym just isn’t gonna happen. It’s nice to know that there are women on this forum that have a struggle so similar to mine.

        • I wasn’t and I think that I would have dropped faster if I were. When I made an effort about a year ago to eat better and work out (spinning 3-5 times a week for 30-45 mins) I REALLY toned up an looked great. Then again I have only been trying this very conscientious eating for about two months!

          I have trouble getting past a 145 lb plateau without exercising is what I’ve found. Since my average is 150-153 it is a big difference but like you I would like to be at 135-140.

          • Anastasia :

            I’m also about that size: 5’8-5’9 depending on who’s measuring and 145-155 lbs depending on the season and how motivated I’ve been about sticking to “real” workouts… I was probably around 135 when I got married after spending the previous 6 months rowing or rock climbing about 5+ times per week for an hour, as well as eating extra healthy because I wanted to look good in my dress.

            My normal diet is 3 small meals and two healthy snacks per day… except since I eat pretty healthfully most of the time, I don’t pass up occasional desserts or fattening dinners (all of those together, usually fewer than 10 times per month). I think I eat more pasta and bread in the winter, and I eat less when it’s hot, but exercise is the main deciding factor on where I fall in my weight range. 2-3 days a week of 30 minutes light-moderate exercise keeps me 150ish (my commute also contributes about a 1.5 miles of walking every day that I don’t count as “exercise”). I feel better closer to 140, but that takes effort… 5 days a week of 30-60 minutes of exercise with at least a few hard workouts.

        • I could have written this exact same thing. You *can* lose weight without going on a fad diet or becoming a glutton for punishment at the gym–but it will be slow. Very slow. I finally admitted to myself that I hate the gym and that I am simply incapable of cutting out carbs/sugar/whatever for any meaningful period of time without a real reason (i.e. a doctor would have to tell me it’s medically necessary to not eat X).

          With that in mind, I did several smaller, more palatable things that led to a 10 lb loss over the course of about 6 months. I have held steady at 146-148 without exercising; however, now that I am more sedentary I see the weight creeping back…I expect exercising even 3-4 times would do a lot of good towards losing those last 10 lbs. It sounds like you have a similar build/metabolism, so I would give that a try. If you plateau, maybe try your hand at a formal diet or cut out your biggest vice for a couple of weeks to break out of it (for example, my husband and I experimented with a vegetarian/vegan diet and that got me under 150 when I was stuck there).

          My suggestion is to be honest with yourself about your current eating habits (i.e. are you drinking a lot of soda, making trips to the vending machines, driving through a lot) and look for things you can change without feeling deprived. Similarly, find some activity that is physical but doesn’t feel like a chore. There are a million ways to lose weight short-term, but to me it’s pointless if you are acutely aware of the fact you are “on a diet” and wind up gaining it all back when you go off the plan (and let’s face it, no one wants to spend the rest of his/her life on a diet). /2cents

        • I completely feel you on not needing to lose a ton of weight but just generally improve muscle tone. I don’t weigh much more than I ever did, but I tried on a pair of short shorts the other day, the kind of denim cutoffs I wore all summer in high school, and I swear I almost cried. I still look super young in general so it was the first time, at the tender age of 28, that I ever felt old. This desk job has turned my thighs into soft shapeless jello. But I eat well so I’m not even remotely overweight- I’m now the dreaded “skinnyfat” (aka thin but out of shape)!

      • Yep, this also works for me. Just walking home more often from work, being more vigilant about drinking water and eating more fruits and vegetables, etc. This helps when I have those 4-5 pounds that I want to get rid of. Going to the gym regularly has better results than walking, for me (both about 45 minutes but gym is higher intensity), but I just don’t have patience or time or energy for it lately.

      • I always keep my eye out for people my height and weight because I’m curious about clothing size. What size do you women in the 5-7 to 5-8 height range wear if you weigh 135? if you weigh 150? FWIW I have broad shoulders and no waist, and usually wind up in a 12 on top (which looks baggy at 135) and a 10 in pants, which are snug at the waist but loose everywhere else.

        • This is interesting. As a 5’8″ person who weighs about 145, sometimes a bit less, I’m a 6 at Banana Republic. I’m pretty curvy and have big b * * bs.

        • A Litigator. :

          I’m 5’8 and approx. 145 pounds (I’d say it probably averages out to that over a normal month). I wear a fairly steady 8 in pants from J.Crew and Banana. My size up top varies dramatically by store, but I usually order a 4/6 or a medium any more unless it’s something that’s supposed to be really snug. I have pratically no b**bs, a fairly defined waist and flat tummy, but carry my weight in my bottom and legs.

        • Pretzel_Logic :

          I’m 5’9″ and between 140-145 and I work out six days a week. I look much better than when I dropped down to about 130-135 and the weight loss showed in my face. Be careful about getting fixated on getting below 140…I got skinny-fat and felt terrible all the time. I’m still thin now and have way more muscle mass at this weight.

          I’m an hourglass with plenty of junk in the trunk and run about a 6 in pants/skirts and a 4 up top.

        • 5’8-9 and just under 150 these days (usually clock in around 148 give or take a pound) and I generally wear a 8-12 in pants, 6-10 in dresses, and 6-8/M in tops, all depending on cut. I have a full bust and I am hippy, but my waist is legitimately in the 4-6 range, so virtually nothing fits properly.

          On a related note, how does one find a good tailor if you don’t know anyone that gets things tailored (beyond having pants hemmed, anyway)? Not to humble-brag, but I have gotten the “compliment” from girlfriends that I look better in a bathing suit than street clothes, which I interpret as code for “dude, you’re clothes don’t fit right/aren’t doing you any favors.” I never saw a reason to spend money to alter my cheapo student attire, but now that I’m in the working world I think it’s time to bite the bullet…

          • Yelp pointed me to a great place, or post on here tomorrow and ask for recs for your area.

        • I’m 5’8-5’9 and between 147 and 153. I have no boobs but I do have hips and a butt. I was consistently a 6 or 8, although with JCrew’s vanity sizing I now fit into a 4 dress. Which is absolutely ridiculous and I genuinely feel bad for people who should actually be a 4 there, because I don’t know what they would wear. Although that’s a whole other TJ :)

        • I am 5’7″ and 135ish. I am a 4 in BR pants. It all depends on how you are built, I guess. I have big athletic thighs, but am slim on top.

          • Wow, thank you! Never, not even at 130 lbs. pre-children, have I ever worn a 4 or even a 6. But I have friends who are taller who can wear those sizes.

            I work out enough to feel sleek (if not svelte) and I don’t care about the number on the label so much, but I’m often surprised by what size people wear, because when I’m at the low end of my range, I don’t feel like I read “big.” There is a very specific weight, however, where I no longer feel peaceful.

          • Interesting how much these vary. I must be super-dense: I am 5’10’, and a size 8-10 in bottoms and 6-8 in tops at 160lb. Hourglass/pear, strong shoulders but little bust, muscular legs.

        • 5’8”, now about 133-135. I would say 4-6 in most brands (Was more like 6-8 when I weighed 142-146), but at Loft I’m more often a 2 now, which is RIDICULOUS.

    • associate :

      I started “clean eating” the way you describe for health/energy issues. I heard that your body automatically goes to your healty weight when you do (up if you’re under, down if you’re over). I didn’t think I had much weight to lose but my body dropped about 4 pounds and just stayed there. I eat frequently. I don’t eat huge portions, but real food is more satisfying than the fake stuff. I just try to avoid processed/refined foods, but no catergory of food is off limits. Every now and then (at least once a week) I have a cookie or a cupcake and it doesn’t make a difference… and I haven’t cut out drinking, but I choose wine/beer/something on the rocks rather than mixed drinks. You can be sure if this type of lifestyle felt extreme, I would not be doing it, but I really just feel better.

    • One of my favorite TV chefs, Alton Brown, went over a method of lists that he used to lose 50 lbs a few years back (to tell you the truth, I think that he’s looked too skinny since). I don’t recall all of it, but I’m sure that you can google it. He had 5 foods that he’d eat every day (greens, carrots, fruit, whole grain, and green tea, I think), some foods that he would eat 3 times a week (sweet potato, avocado, fish?), some foods that he could only have once a week (dessert, alcoholic drinks, pasta, red meat, I think), and some foods that were 0 times a week (not a super restrictive list – I think that it was canned soup, fast food, and soda, maybe a couple of others).

      Anyway, it seemed like a good plan and pretty easy to stick to (I’d modify the dessert thing, myself, though). I’ve never been trying to lose, but I did make an effort to stick to the everyday foods for a while and liked doing that and thought it helped me maintain. Try looking it up!

      • This episode just replayed the other day. It seems very easy to follow, save for the sardines out of a can (ick) and 1 alcoholic drink a week (mama needs her booze). Other than that, I’m trying to follow it, as well.

    • I’m sure it varies from person to person but I’ve done well by eating a healthy breakfast, using lunch as my splurge meal, and eating a healthy small portion dinner (which includes wine).

      Basically I tried to cut back on the sugar/creamer in my morning coffee, and drank only coffee, water, or wine (no soda/tea/juice). I ate more fish for dinner, tried to eat more fruits and veggies, and tried not to clean my plate unless I was actually hungry.

    • Just wanted to send a shout out to NOLA, who said she achieved some pretty impressive weight loss this way!

      • Why thank you! It’s been soooo much harder maintaining, especially as I get older, but it was easier than I thought at the time.

    • We went on a pretty low carb diet — no potatos, no pasta, no white rice, little to no bread, very few sweets. We do have cereal for breakfast (usually cheerios with extra cinnamon) and we have brown rice, so we never went totally no carb. We use smaller corn tortillas instead of large flour tortillas. We tend to eat chicken/fish/pork with salad and/or veggie and brown rice for supper. We basically don’t drink anything caloric anymore. DH eats mostly leftovers for lunch. Snacks tend to be almonds or baby bell cheese.

      I didn’t really increase my activity level and I’m definitely “sneaking” sugar snacks now (as well as occasionally having carb splurges) and I’ve managed to lose 50+ pounds in 6 months.

      I don’t really count calories, although we do pay attention to portion sizes.

    • I did it several years ago. I moved to more weight-bearing exercise (walking fast outdoors or treadmill at incline) and I tried to eat whole foods and tried everywhere I could to replace carbohydrates with vegetables (for example, I still ate some pasta, but it was heavier on the vegetables and light on the meat and pasta). I cut down on drinking (and I was drinking a lot a couple times a week) and only ate a little dessert. I also never had both a drink and dessert. My stepmother calls it the eat better, eat less, move more diet. Altogether, I lost 90 lbs in a little more than a year and a half.

    • I’ve done this. I lost 10 pounds (which on my 5’2 frame meant several dress sizes!). Basically I cooked every night at home, purposely increasing my veggies and decreasing my carbs. I swapped red wine for beer and started having fresh berries with a few semi-sweet chocolate chips for dessert. I also started drinking green tea whenever I got the urge to snack because of boredom. These simple changes and a few longer walks with my dog made me successful!

    • Couldn't Wait to Quit :

      I found that I lost more weight when I totally cut out fried foods. In certain instances I replaced them with no-so-healthy choices, such as a creamy pasta dish instead of nachos, and still lost weight.

      • I did it using the michael thurmond program. I forget what it was called when I bought it and I think it’s changed names but if you google him you’ll find it. Basically, he recommends different eating plans depending on your body shape and you eat 6 times a day on it. It’s the only “diet” that’s really worked. It’s 8 years or so later and I’ve kept the weight off.

    • Weight Watchers.

    • I was overweight from 10 to 25 and constantly on a self-inflicted diet. Only “healthy” diets (veggies, lean meat, low-fat, you get the picture) but the pounds were always coming back and I was just thinking about food all the time.

      At 25 I decided I didn’t want that anymore, I didn’t want to be obsessed with food any longer. I looked for books by Geneen Roth and the like. Basically : you eat when you’re hungry, you stop when you’re not hungry anymore. I had to fine-tune this to my own body, but this is the basic theory.

      Fast forward : I’m now 5’9″ / 143 lbs last time I got weighted. I may put on weight, when I forget about the whole “hunger” thing. I also know to be careful with sugar because, for my, it triggers “false hunger pangs” and cravings. I still eat pastries and chocolate and icecream, but I had to learn how to deal with the aftermath.

      I also run 2x a week, for more or less 45″. It’s not much, but it’s the right balance for me to feel good, not punished (I’m not much into exercise).

      And it’s been 8 years now, so I guess it passes the 5-years test.

      Disclaimer : I’ve realized that I have my mother’s bodytype (tall & big-boned, but good metabolism when I let it manage itself) so my natural weight is in the normal range, and I stopped the diets early enough not to mess with my metabolism. Depending on your bodytype or your diet history, your “natural” weight may not be the same so the result may be disappointing.
      However, being free from food and diet thoughts is a reward in itself.

      OK, I step off the soapbox :)

    • I can’t sing enough praises about Weight Watchers online. I did it a few years ago when I had about 10-15 pounds to lose, and it worked SO WELL, mainly because it wasn’t about total deprivation.

    • I know this is kind of late but I wanted to put in a plug for our SparkPeople group for fans of this website. We have 4-5 active members over there, at varying levels of weight and weight loss. I’ve found SP is a great way to really see what you’re eating and helps to ingrain healthy habits. The whole premise of the website is that you can’t just say BAM my diet is perfect! It’s all about figuring out what works for you and making better and better choices to reach your goals. Plus, they’ve got some fabulous exercise videos of varying lengths (seriously, you want a 5 minute legs workout in your desk chair? They’ve got it. 10 minutes of cardio? Yep!) and focus on all around “wellness” in that there are resources for fitness, nutrition, inspiration, etc… As well as many different groups to join (i.e. beginning runners, runners over age 50, 60, or 70, etc…)

  8. Job Help for Hubby :

    Husband and I met on the first day of law school. We have been out of school for 5-6 years. Husband has always followed me to my job. The economy crashed soon after I started my law firm job, and husband had a terrible time finding a job. He finally was able to get a adjunct job teaching music (he also has a masters in world music) and affiliated with a solo practioner who did entertainment law/ip/anything his random clients needed. Husband then followed me to another state so that I could take an in-house job. He is now looking for work again, and we are not really sure where to start. He was able to adjunct at a nearby school last semester, but will not be returning in the fall due to scheduling/childcare issues (the class schedules are not flexible, and the way they are set up would cause husband to spend more on childcare for our 2 year old than he would make teaching those particular classes).

    What kind of jobs should husband look for? Obviously he will look in the adjunt teaching, but that is not a career, and he would like to do something on a more permanent basis. He is likely “too stale” to get any sort of law firm job. What else can he do with his law degree? Any ideas? He would like to use his music degrees but understands that it is likely that the music will have to be secondary to any job. It sounds terrible, but it seems like he does not really have any marketable skills despite the fact that he has both a Masters and a JD. Thoughts?

    • Has he looked into any local Lawyers for the Arts programs? I don’t know that they would have any paid positions open, but it may be an option to keep building his skill set while he looks for work. My local program has plenty of networking opportunities, too.

    • Not an absolute solution, but could he make some money teaching private music lessons? Especially with the cutting of music programs, I know that people frequently hire private tutors for children who show any particular gift for music.

    • Do any of the universities in your area have a music industry studies program? That might be a way for him to use both areas.

    • Sydney Bristow :

      Has he considered opening a solo practice focused on entertainment law? Another idea would be artist management in the music industry. Both are likely pretty dependent on the area that you live though.

      • I am convinced that husband needs to find his own way. He needs to find motivation and reach inside himself to find his dream. Maybe try a life coach if he needs some help.

        • Anonymous :

          Wow! So a spouse who has played the supportive role gets fed to the wolves when times are tough?

          • Merabella :

            I don’t read that in this comment. I see that he has played a supporting role, and she is settled, so maybe it is time for him to find something that he really enjoys, not just what is convenient for everyone else.

  9. Seattleite :

    Merriweather, I hope you’re feeling better today.

    • Merriweather :

      Thanks so much for thinking of me, Seattleite!

      I am feeling better. I canceled my evening plans last night to watch Bravo and eat ice cream in my PJs instead – I was pretty much a chick flick waiting for a camera crew.

      I’m also realizing I should give BF a chance by telling him my concerns and seeing if he is willing to make an effort, instead of assuming late-30s is too old for a single guy to change his ways and be a good BF.

      Thanks again for remembering me – too sweet.

      • Bravo is ok apart from Real Housewives of NY – never been able to get into that which says a lot since I can handle RHONJ. I don’t know your situation, but definitely speak to your boyfriend. Men generally aren’t mindreaders. Good luck to you.

  10. Somewhere, Kristen Bell just platzed. (Link to follow to avoid moderation).


  11. Merriweather :

    Finally got this year’s raise and want to buy myself something little-ish. Do we think white watches are totally played out? I would love a white Baby G or G Shock for weekends. Thoughts?

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      Who cares if it is played out? If you love and are going to wear it on weekends, get it!

  12. Sorry for the threadjack but I have to move to Las Vegas for personal reasons so was wondering if there are any corporettes in LV who can offer any advice about the legal market there. Thanks in advance!

  13. Random vent:

    My awesome boss is giving me the opportunity to get more involved in the managerial side of my office, and I’m tasked with reviewing CVs and candidates for a short-term research project (I’m in science for a state government).

    While I was reviewing the CVs, I had to fight the urge to scrawl all over them in red pen; I’m talking 4 pages of short-term casual jobs, detailing marketing and customer service skills (which are irrelevant for this position)! Most of them are still students, so I’m even more surprised given that they should have access to career services.

    Government positions are notoriously difficult to get, especially as this one (non-US) is currently in a hiring freeze, so I would have expected much better resumes. Sigh. /rant

  14. Ladies, in an hour, I am meeting up with a woman in my profession who I am hoping will eventually grow into a mentor to me (meaning that the “relationship” will grow, ha, not that she will grow!) For some reason, I am lost about what to ask her. It seems forced to say things like, “how did you get to your position,” or anything like it, but I also don’t want to waste her time.

    For those of you that have had good professional mentors, did you call a spade a spade right from the beginning and just tell the person you were seeking a mentor? Or, did you let the relationship grow naturally? I don’t work *with* her, so I will only see her if I make arrangements to do so — it’s not a relationship that will develop over time naturally without intention.

    • Former MidLevel :

      Every mentoring relationship I’ve ever had began the same way – me asking for advice. The relationships grew naturally from there. If I were in your shoes, I would ask her about how she got interested in her field, what she likes about working there, what the challenges are, etc. If you’re already in the same field, but more junior, you’ll have to get more specific–but the topics will depend on your field/industry. But I would never say “I am looking for a mentor” and frankly would be turned off if someone asked me a variation on “will you be my mentor?” But that’s just me.

      • Former MidLevel :

        P.S. I should add that you should be ready to answer questions, too. After all, mentoring is a two-way street and potential mentors will want to get to know you.

    • karenpadi :

      I think it depends on you. I always allowed my mentoring relationships to develop gradually. But I have mentees who belong to each camp.

      “How did you get to your position?” is a great question! Use it!

  15. a

    • I know, right?

      • MAMABEAR….we want an update on your demand letter. Did you get Mr. Thursday’s last name? Did you get a touché? We’re waiting with baited breath up in here.

        • Haha, you guys gave me so much good material – thank you!

          The extremely formal emails have continued, though I did finally get the guy from Thursday’s name out of Bob.

          I don’t know whether Bob has been forthcoming about all of Mr. Thursday’s known aliases, though.

          And I for sure signed the nastiest, most condescending email I sent Bob, “Warmest Regards.”

          • AnonInfinity :

            I’m so glad to get this update — I’ve been wondering all day.

            Warmest regards is a favorite of mine.

          • Haha. Thanks for the update. I went back and looked at the original thread and saw you also threatened a motion to compel, which makes me happy. :-)

            If he keeps giving you sh*t, threaten sanctions. haha. :-P

  16. Does anybody remember/still follow Penelope Trunk? She’s given some crazy advice in the past.

    Anyway, looks like she may have her own reality show soon:

    • AnonInfinity :

      Oh my.

    • I really, really like this one.

      2. Control how other people see you by caring about other people.

    • Eek, given what she’s written about her abusive relationship – well, on the one hand, having cameras around doesn’t exactly seem to help most situations (judging from reality TV); on the other, maybe it’ll at least help out her kids by bringing the situation out in public?

  17. lucy stone :

    I work for a local government. We have two attorneys, myself and my boss. She is leaving. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

  18. Does anyone have advice for negotiating with wedding reception sites?

  19. Why, oh, why, can’t I find cute shoes like this in narrow widths?

work fashion blog press mentions