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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 440 Comments · by

Wednesday’s TPS Report: Belted V Neck Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. DKNY Belted V Neck DressBloomingdale's has a ton of great stuff on sale, but it's lucky size time. For example: I'm in love with this black belted V-neck dress, even though I know there would probably be camisoles involved in wearing it to work. The draping, the faux leather obi belt, the front pleat — love it all. And get this: it was $345, but is now marked to $124 (size L only, alas). DKNY Belted V Neck Dress Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

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Comments

  2. Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler

    Thank you to who(m?)ever talked about Awkward Black Girl. It was just what I needed after a long day of Evidence and Corporations.

    You ladies are always there, even when I don’t know I need it.

    • ning

      Oops, except I just saw the bow in the back. I have a strict “no bow on the butt” rule for my adult self.

      • NOLA

        Agreed, except that the belt is detachable so you could replace it with whatever you want, or you could choose not to tie it in a bow.

        • b23

          That’s just what I was going to say. Most obi belts wrap around again and tie in the front, which I think would look a lot better.

  4. kno

    How is the front picture cap sleeves and the picture from the back completely sleeveless? Am I too dumb to understand this dress? Or is it some sort of optimus prime dress?

  5. wawa

    Can anyone review the J.Crew Jackie sweater? Thinking of buying a few in the sale, but want to know what people think.

    • Janie

      I practically live in them. They have held up pretty well for me, and I sometimes line dry them and sometimes machine dry them. I also love the Jackie shells for under suits.

    • Cat

      I have more than 10 of them. For me, they are the perfect office weight for summer. While Jcrew gets some bad press around here (not exactly undeserved) for decreased quality recently, I find that the Jackies do hold up pretty well and the colors stay saturated, though I do wash them with plenty TLC (on cold, inside out in a mesh bag, lay flat to dry).

      • TBK

        I have a million of them, too. They go with EVERYTHING: cami and pencil skirt for work, capris or shorts for the weekend, to the beach, with a cocktail dress, over a sundress for a wedding.

      • HoneyPillows

        Just bought my first Jackie; thanks for the laundry advice! I’m loving the rich cobalt so far.

      • TBK

        Grr. Posted but wrote out c-tail and so it’s being filtered. Response with filter-friendly language: I have a million of them, too. They go with EVERYTHING: cami and pencil skirt for work, capris or shorts for the weekend, to the beach, with a c-tail dress, over a sundress for a wedding.

    • Betsy

      I have several, and while I like them, the fabric doesn’t retain its finish all that well. By “finish”, I mean that when they’re new, there’s a little bit of gloss, and the fabric doesn’t look like it will wrinkle at all. They still look fine after I wash them, just not quite as fine. Maybe if I ironed them after washing? That said, the colors are hard to beat.

    • Basics

      About ten years ago, they used to offer a version that was part wool, part silk and part nylon. Those were lovely and held up well. The cotton ones are nice, but for truly great sweater sets (ones that last for years and always look great), I prefer Saks’ Saks Fifth Avenue brand or N-M’s Nieman Marcus brand or TSE. The in-house brands are a lot harder to find these days (offered in fewer seasons, not online, offered in fewer colors), but for my money they are a much better deal.

    • wawa

      Thanks guys! Any word on sizing? I find that J.Crew runs large — true here as well?

      • January

        No, I think the Jackies are smaller than most of the rest of J. Crew clothes. I have a long torso and proportionally larger hips and find that I can really only wear the Jackies with skirts and dresses, or with a long top if I am wearing jeans (not to work, obviously). They are cute and a great staple – I have several.

        • January

          In case my comment wasn’t clear, what I really meant is that the Jackies are cut kind of short. Most of mine are a S, which is the size top I normally wear in J. Crew.

          • w.coast

            THIS. I am 5’8” with a long torso and I really can’t wear the Jackie shells with anything but the highest-waisted of skirts. Such a shame. It would also be nice to have a short-sleeved version…

      • Anon

        Yes, I have a short torso and they the perfect cropped length for me. I have about 7 and wear them several times per week. Perfect for overzealous AC in the summer!

        • PghAnon

          Same here, I have a ton of these and love them. Short torso and these are the only thing that isn’t too long.

          Note: the Factory version is NOT THE SAME. Avoid.

      • jcb

        I haven’t shopped at JCrew in years, but this season I stopped in and bought a bunch of stuff. The quality seems to have improved (along w the prices). I was completely suckered by the pretty No. 2 Pencil Skirts, btw, like many here, only to have the crazy wrinkling and kind of odd stretching (like, from the side it kind of looks like the skirt is pointing forward towards the bottom) that others have mentioned recently. Too bad, bc the fabrics are pretty. Less of an issue with the seersucker one, fwiw.

        I’m a 6 in most JCrew (still and 8 in BR), but the cardigan in small was too tight across the chest (34D), so that the buttons were pulling. The medium works fine – the band at the bottom keeps them from being too blousy.

      • Marie Curie

        You can e-mail customer service and ask for measurements of any individual item, that’s what I always do.

    • anon

      They are too short for me, and I’m just 5’7″, I wish they were just a couple of inches longer. It seems like cardigans either hit me right at the waist, or they are very long, like boyfriend cardigans.

    • ss

      They are the one thing I always buy when work or play brings me to the US. Even though I very seldom buy work clothes off the shelf, I get these because they allow a suit work without its jacket and the big range of colours provides lots of options if I want a polished matching look when wearing a print.

      • Anonymous

        Just wondering though I personally feel that a merino wool cardigan looks so much crisper than the cotton blend Jackie cardigans and holds up much better in terms of color and shape. What do others think? I know it is insanely hot outside but my office is COLD!

  6. S

    Questions for NYC peeps – we’re living in the doorman building for the first time and am not sure about what to do with return packages. If we’re returning an online purchase do we have to take it to the post office or UPS store? Can we leave it with the doorman? If so that an extra that requires an extra tip or a regular service that is covered by the holiday tip? Thanks!

    • cfm

      If its prepaid you should be able to leave it with your doorman, just double check. Only if it is prepaid though. And you don’t tip everytime just tip on the holidays

    • Lydia

      No, you don’t have to take it to the post office or UPS store. Just hand it to the doorman and tell him to give it to the postman or UPS guy. It is one of the perks of being in a doorman building. No extra tip is required. This is part of their job. Just give the normal holiday tip.

      • Bluejay

        Actually, the UPS guy (and I think the postman too) cannot accept packages unless there’s a scheduled pickup, even if they’re at the building anyway to deliver packages. It’s possible, if you live in a large building, that your building has a scheduled daily pickup. However, if it doesn’t, you have to go through the extra step of scheduling a pickup by calling UPS or going online (some companies will do it for you when you print the return label).

        • Lydia

          Interesting. My friends and I have not faced that issue…but my building is a large building (and so are the ones my friends are in who have doormen).

  7. TCFKAG

    After the wild success of K in Transitions what makes me happy game, I have another fun one. What is your silliest pet peeve? Bonus points if you have no one to blame for it but yourself?

    Mine happened to me this morning. When I got out of the shower (of course after my husband had left) I realized that there were no towels in the bathroom, so I had to run through my whole house soaking wet, all the way to the basement, to get clean towels. Drives me absolutely crazy.

    Oh…and today I’m happy because I’m wearing my flouncy polka dot skirt again.

    • AnonInfinity

      I hate it when people say “knock knock” when walking into my office rather than knocking or just coming in. I can’t explain why.

      • Woods-comma-Elle

        Ha ha I do this but usually because I’ve knocked and the person has ignored me. But we have glass offices and I can see them from the door.

      • emcsquared

        Haha, I do this too – because I am incapable of knocking at an appropriate volume (usually too soft, so I overcompensate and the person jumps out of their seat), so it’s safer to just say it out loud.

    • Anon

      Is this a S.O. pet peeve ask, or a just a pet peeve in general?

      If it is a S.O. pet peeve, then hands down, it is serving himself something, anything in the kitchen (yogurt, soup, lasagna, whatever) and then putting the dirty serving utensil on the countertop. The most likely clean countertop. Which is next to the sink.

      WHY?????

      • SF Bay Associate

        OMG me too. Why is the dirty utensil on the countertop?? Right there is the sink, and better yet, six inches over from that is the dishwasher, where dirty dishes are supposed to go. Argh!

        • CA Atty

          YES. And we have one of those too. (This is more a roommate thing, but he’s related to my SO) And I asked him once why he would put the dirty utensil on the clean countertop instead of the spoon rest and he said “I don’t want to get two things dirty.” THEN WHY HAVE A SPOON REST!?!?!?

          And today I am happy because I get to see my SO and I’m wearing a super cute dress I got for $15 at Kohls!

          • Totes McGotes

            OMFG my guy used to do this (before he broke my spoon rest the ONE time I asked him to do dishes) and it drove me up. the. wall.

          • rosie

            My husband leaves utensils out because he says he might want to eat more and doesn’t want to get another knife dirty if he decides to put peanut butter on another slice of bread, for example. I have to remind him that we have plenty of flatware and a dishwasher. We also have a spoonrest.

          • Bluejay

            Oh wow. I do that too – I hate having to wash the spoon and the spoon rest. I figure I’ll have to wipe down the counter anyway.

            In my defense, my only SO is a cat and it doesn’t bother her one bit.

          • CA Atty

            Ah, but Bluejay, see, I think spoon rests are kind of silly. I actually agree that it’s silly to just wash two things when we’re cooking anyway and are going to have to wipe down the counters. (Especially since the counters are stainless steel and you could pretty much wipe them down _constantly_ and they still would have a fingerprint or a water droplet somewhere)

            BUT IT’S HIS SPOON REST.

            And he will not allow it to be put away in a drawer. It HAS to stay on the stove (where it does not match and is frequently in the way).

      • ning

        S.O. Peeve- he takes his shirts off the dry-cleaning hangers, then flings the hanger like a frisbee.

        Then I find dozens of them in odd places around the apt.

        I once had to evacuate no less than 70 from the bottom of his closet when he was out for a day.

        • Merabella

          My DH does this with receipts. I find like a bagillion around. Drives me NUTS!

    • r

      totally bizarre, but I can’t stand when people eat yogurt around me. the sound and the smell make me cringe.

    • Sydney Bristow

      It drives me crazy when people clap at the end of movies. Not sure why and clearly there are a lot of people who aren’t bothered by it, but it just bugs me. It’s not like the actors or movie crew can hear you!

      • Houda

        Try clapping when the plane lands.. happens almost every time I fly to Algeria…

        • anonythis

          Same in South America. Just makes me realize I should have been much more nervous about the airline’s safety record.

          Unless I’m flying from SA to America. Then I clap, too.

        • Lilly

          Experienced/participated in landing clapping on Mexico flight. In perfectly calm weather, we were ALL over the place on approach, and after the pilot set it on the runway during one of the nanoseconds the plane was more or less level, we were just all so happy to be there.

      • Sconnie

        The worse was during college and law school when people would clap for the professor at the end of the last class of the semester. I considered skipping a number of last classes just to avoid that awkwardness, especially when I couldn’t stand the professor.

    • Lyssa

      Two things that people say, for no reason whatsoever:

      1) When people say “a couple or three” instead of “two or three.”

      2) When people order in restuarants and call the dish “your”, as in “I’ll have your super-fatty McTastic Burger.” It’s not the server’s burger! Drives me nuts for some reason.

    • Lydia

      My pet peeve – though I love shoes – I can’t stand them on furniture. Take your shoes off if you are going to lay down on the bed or couch, or if you want to prop your feet up on the coffee table.

    • TCFKAG

      Haha…no, I was thinking of pet peeves that you have no one to blame but YOURSELF, which drive me personally more crazy than any others. I mean, I’m the one that didn’t notice there were no towels! Another example. When I go to the bathroom and only after I go do I realize there’s no toilet paper (okay, there’s a theme here.)

      • AnonInfinity

        I totally missed that part of your prompt. I am a completely flawless human being, and I don’t do anything annoying.

        ***quickly throws all those empty water bottles and candy wrappers from the front seat into the trunk and whistles***

          • eaopm3

            So glad I am not the only one whose car looks like the civic recycling center.

          • Senior Attorney

            I just collected six pair of gym socks from my car. I may or may not have taken a picture of them and posted it on Facebook…

          • Anonymous NYer

            Oh phew, I thought I was weird for being unable to clear out all my water bottles from my front seat for no reason whatsoever.

          • CA Atty

            I have an absurd amount of water bottles and shoes in my car. I don’t know how they get there, I swear! I clean it out every…month or two (or three, or four)…

      • Bluejay

        I think the theme is that you should store bathroom supplies in your bathroom. :)

    • Em

      When people drain their tuna fish cans in the office kitchen sink and don’t rinse so the tuna juice just lingers.

    • Emily I

      I hate it when people end a sentence with an unnecessary “at.” For example, my husband will often say something like, “Where did you find the ice cream at?” or “Where would you like me to meet you at?” NOOOOOO. It’s “Where did you find the ice cream?” and “Where would you like me to meet you?”

      It’s silly, but a lot of people seem to do this in my area.

      • MOCPA

        I know someone who always replies to those questions with “behind the a&t.” It takes people a few minutes to figure out what he is talking about. :)

      • Michelle

        I think this is a Midwest thing. Like “come with”, as in “I’m going to the store, do you want to come with?”

        • PollyD

          Oh yes (I grew up near Chicago). I was teased mercilessly about this in college.

        • Coalea

          I’ve heard people end sentences with “at” in many parts of the country – there was even a commercial a while back for cell phones (Boost mobile, IIRC) with the tag line, “Where you at?” (drove me crazy!).

          “Come with,” however, is definitely Midwestern.

        • NOLA

          The “Do you want to come with?” is generally from places where there were German speakers. Comes from “Kommst di mit?”

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      This is, I fear, a result of being a pedantic lawyer, but people who say ‘myself’ and ‘yourself’ when they mean ‘me’ and ‘you’, or general incorrect use of personal pronouns. I don’t like bad grammar anyway, but these are things I really can’t stand.

      “Sarah and myself will be attending the meeting with yourselves. To confirm, please contact Sarah or I.”

      It hurts me just to type that…. GAH!

      • NOLA

        Oh, that drives me crazy, too! The “myself” thing has become so prevalent and I think it sounds so pretentious.

      • a passion for fashion

        i hate this too — especially the misuse of . . . and I. your example is perfect — its please contact Sarah or me. me!!! you wouldnt say contact I, would you?

      • Susan

        My pet peeve is a form of redundancy:

        “I personally witnessed [this incident] myself.”

        I am always tempted to say: “Really? As yourself? In your own skin? Can you specify a bit more? Are you sure you didn’t witness the event through a robot avatar?”

      • Basics

        And then if you try to explain that you only need to use a reflexive verb when you are referring to yourself (ie, it is “reflecting” back to you), no one understands what a reflexive verb is because no one is taught proper grammar anymore. I truly believe that all American children should have to take two years of Latin. Problem solved instantly. You can’t learn Latin grammar without also learning English grammar.

        Did you see the article about diagramming sentences in the NYT yesterday? Heaven.

        • Susan

          Yes! There was a story recently about how this generation’s university students can’t write at all.

          I’m thinking of a particular coworker whose wife is a helicopter parent. She writes her kids’ essays if she thinks they’re not good enough. I wonder how they’ll do when they go off to college*. It’s sad and wrong on so many levels, but I suspect it’s not uncommon nowadays.

          *I suspect she’ll be one of those who rent an apartment near wherever the first kid goes to school so she can avoid her husband and continue to hover. What an amazing (s)mother!

        • Gail the Goldfish

          True. I learned more English grammar in Latin class than in English class.

          • Mirrie

            I learned English grammar in French class. I would have had no clue what subjunctive mood is if I hadn’t had to learn French verb forms for it.

          • anonfish

            Yes! Like Mirrie, I learned grammar best in Latin, French and Italian classes (language nerd here.) Also, I think grammar is taught entirely too early. There needs to be a refresher class towards the end of high school. I went to a nationally ranked HS and don’t think we ever had a grammar lesson in an English class. I mean, there are only so many times you can talk about symbolism in the Catcher in the Rye.

      • ahm

        My father, who is an outstanding lawyer, generally an excellent writer and one of the smartest and wittiest people I know, posts pictures on Facebook captioned “[name] and I”. It drives me crazy!!!!

    • JJ

      This is fun! Mine has to be when my husband gets something out of the dishwasher (either unloading the whole thing or getting one thing, such as the coffee pot). He *never* closes the dishwasher door all the way when he’s done. It’s either sticking out half an inch, or sometimes wide open, until whenever it is that I walk into the kitchen and shut it.

      Or – people who drive diagonally across parking spots and lanes in parking lots. Part of me actually always hope they hit me just so I can yell at them…none have yet, though.

      • Cat

        ha – my husband does this with ALL drawers. What’s so hard about that last little half inch???

        • MissJackson

          My husband used to leave the kitchen cabinets wide open. It drove me batty, and I was constantly stewing about walking in to the kitchen to find half of th cabinets open. Finally I called him out on it. He insisted that he didn’t do it that often or that I was the one who was doing it. And so, we agreed that every time he left a cabinet door open, that I would not close it for him — instead I would call him back into the kitchen and make him close it. After about the 10th time in 2 days of me calling him down from our 3rd floor to close a stupid cabinet, he conceded that he does this way more than he realized and he started making an effort to close the cabinet doors. I haven’t had to ask him to close a cabinet in 6 months, and it is amazing :)

          • layered bob

            my husband used to leave the kitchen cabinets open too… until I took all the doors off. It drove me nuts, and I figured it was easier to change the cabinets than to change him.

          • DC Jenny

            My mom used to leave cabinet doors open all the time, until my dad bashed his head on the corner of one and needed stitches. That cured her of the habit pretty quickly.

          • BigLaw Optimist

            This. I’m going to try your training technique, MissJackson. My husband also refuses to admit he has a problem.

          • N.

            Oh goodness, I need to try some behavior modification too. My SO does this all. the. time. He admits he does it but claims it’s somehow more “efficient” because otherwise he’ll just have to open up the door again at some later, unspecified time.

      • TCFKAG

        I leave all the cabinets open when I get things out. It drives my spouse to distraction. I also leave my shoes all around the house, wherever I take them off…I think he’s considering divorce over it.

        • 30

          I do this with drawers – luckily Mr. 30 doesn’t mind. But one time, he was talking to his sister on the phone and she was complaining about her husband leaving drawers open and Mr. 30 just bust out laughing, saying “[30] does that ALL THE TIME.” Thanks, dude.

        • AIMS

          My mother does this. It drives me batty. When I was a child, at any given time, at least one kitchen cabinet would be left wide open. And possibly all the closet doors, too.

          Now, with Mr. AIMS, my pet peeve is his inability to ever put away clothes where they belong. He’s good with suits because he actually wants to keep them in good condition and free of cat hair, but with jeans and the like, he just puts them on top of the hamper or on the floor or anywhere but in the drawer where they belong. His reasoning is that he is “going to wear them again.” Never mind that I want to go to sleep and wake up in a bedroom not littered with clothing that might be worn at some future date…

          His pet peeves with me are: 1) when I don’t put the ironing board away (but I am going to use it again,too!) and 2) when I leave a towel to dry on a chair instead of hanging it up in the bathroom (it dries better!).

          With strangers, I get unreasonably annoyed when men tuck in their ties or swing them behind their shoulder in order to eat. I just think eating without spilling is a skill grown ups should master. Or they should just wear bow ties.

          • anon

            At least Mr. AIMS puts his clothes on top of the hamper. Mr. anon puts dirty clothes on the floor right next to the hamper. Is it really that much harder to drop the clothes six inches to the left? ARGH!

          • Anon

            Haha, after I take my jeans off, I will hang them on a doorknob or put them over a chair if I want to wear them again. I live alone though :)

          • BigLaw Optimist

            Ok, I definitely do this. I leave little piles of things everywhere — in the bedroom, on the kitchen table, on the entry-way table. It’s like there’s little pieces of me strewn about the house. My husband hates it. Maybe I’ll make a deal – if he can close the cabinet doors, I will start picking up my stuff.

      • Lyssa

        Heh, I’m bad about closing things, which drives my husband batty, too! (But I might need something else out of there later, and then I’d just have to open it again!)

        But actually, I usually intentionally leave the clean dishwasher open so that the dishes will dry. My husband’s always closing it, which is *my* pet peeve. :)

    • momentsofabsurdity

      I really like my current roommates, but they have no idea how to load a dishwasher. They don’t put things in logically so everything is crammed on top of itself, they run it when it’s half full, and they put pots and pans in the dishwasher (which maybe isn’t wrong but my mom always taught me it was bad for the pans and I should scrub them out myself).

      • Anonners

        I have always had this pet peeve too. There is a certain organizational way to load the dishwasher in order to get the most stuff in there!

      • SF Bay Associate

        Ha, #firstworldproblems. Our housecleaner put my AllClad saute pan and Shun knife in the dishwasher. And ran it. I almost cried when I saw it, I felt so badly for our beloved tools. Now I never, ever leave dirty pans or knives in the sink when she comes.

        I am extremely neurotic about proper dishwasher loading technique. I will reload the whole thing before I run it if necessary.

        • JJ

          My housekeeper will put my knives in the dishwasher if I leave them in the sink when she comes. I also almost cried when I saw my chef’s knife in the utensil caddie.

        • SoCalAtty

          So glad I’m not the only one! I actually stopped calling a housecleaner because of that. AllClad, knives, cast iron – all in the dishwasher. She didn’t run it, so I was irritated for two reasons…she should have run the thing, but if she had it would have wrecked what she put in there.

          So I guess my pet peeve is people who clean for a living not knowing how to properly clean things.

        • Amy H.

          Oh my God, SF Bay Associate, I would have had a breakdown! I never, ever leave knives or any Calphalon dirty on housecleaning day, because I am afraid of what would happen.
          I am extremely neurotic about the same things you are.

      • Senior Attorney

        I don’t need to worry about my husband loading the dishwasher incorrectly because he is absolutely incapable of putting anything in the dishwasher. He will bring his dishes to the sink and rinse them and set them on the counter beside the sink, right above where the dishwasher is, but actually opening the dishwasher and putting the dishes inside is beyond him.

        And may I just thank the person who mentioned Dan Savage’s concept of the relationship “price of admission” not too long ago? Every time I walk into the kitchen and see those dishes on the counter, I silently repeat “price of admission, price of admission” and it actually helps!

      • CSF

        There is an apt Oatmeal comic out on how to properly load a dishwasher and save your marriage. I find it applicable to roommates as well!

    • Cat

      People who are bad at sidewalks. I’m looking at you, gaggles hogging the whole width, slow walkers who walk in the middle (difficult to pass on narrow streets), people who stop cold without moving over to the side, people who start sort of walking at an angle while texting, people who cross the street and expect you to move to get out of *their* way, people who decide the corner is the perfect place to stand with their group and chat…

      …can you tell I may have some sidewalk rage issues?? if only people would treat them like real streets…

      • Kontraktor

        I have always thought if I ended up killing somebody it would be over one of these exact sidewalk issues you describe. People, walking is not hard (or, apparently it is maybe).

      • SF Bay Associate

        Me too. If you want to stop in the middle of the street, pull over, just like if you were driving. Drives me crazy. Ditto the two adults, each pushing a double-wide stroller, walking side by side.

        • NOLA

          Yeah but people don’t do that when they’re driving either! If you live in a tourist city, you get used to the drivers who drive excruciatingly slowly and stop at every intersection because they have no idea where they’re going. Pull over and figure it out!

          • Anon

            Or, the drivers that are NOT in the left turn lane but slow down at each intersection to check it out, and then finally, cut off one (or multiple) lanes of traffic, PLUS the oncoming traffic, to turn left.

            Okay, I get it. You aren’t familiar with the neighborhood. But if you know you need to make a left, WHY AREN’T YOU ALREADY IN THE LEFT LANE?

        • Nonny

          OMG, the strollers. Seriously ladies, if you have one of those giant-arse strollers, please remember that you are sharing the (a) sidewalk, (b) store aisle, (c) public transportation with others.

          And on that topic, the giant strollers may be convenient or whatever, but my mom seemed to manage pretty well with an Umbroller Stroller.

      • Ashley

        Oh man, it’s probably good that I don’t live in a walking city! I cannot handle those things you mention… I’m the annoying person that will walk really fast behind the slow walker and then awkwardly dance around you to keep walking. Drives. me. nuts! And yes, I’ll go awkwardly onto the grass if my annoying heavy-steps-to-alert-you-to-move don’t work. Gah, sidewalk rage sympathizers unite!

      • Sydney Bristow

        Throw in umbrellas and/or cameras and I am likely to become the stereotypical angry New Yorker one day. Actually, maybe sooner than I’d like. I almost yelled at a woman yesterday standing side by side with her friend on the escalator when the train was in the station and I was racing to catch it. She couldn’t seem to figure out how to move to the side after I said “excuse me” loudly, let alone not block the entire escalator in the first place.

        • Godzilla

          OMG THESE PEOPLE. The ones who stand at the top or bottom of a staircase/escalator/elevator doors, trying to figure out where they have to go next. GET OUT OF MY WAY, YOU’RE HOLDING UP MY !% HOUR COMMUTE.

          • Merabella

            Entrances to stores as well. They walk in and try to gauge where they want to go, so they stand IN THE DOORWAY and block everyone else coming in. Move to the side to assess. Thank you.

        • Mouse

          Escalator rage! I have it. Step aside if you are going to stand, not walk, on the escalator so that those of us who do walk up them can get past. Especially when it’s at commuting times, and it’s clear people are rushing to catch the bus or train. Gar!!!

      • Anastasia

        This! Also, people walking with a friend or two who insist on walking abreast, even though they’re taking up the whole wdth of the sidewalk (or bike trail, or stairway, or whatever).

        And people who stand on the left side of the escalator, especially if they’re wearing headphones, forcing me to eaither shout or tap them on the shoulder (which they always seem to think is really rude) and gesture. And people on the subway who insist on standing near the doors because they’re getting off at the next stop or two, effectively being a blood clot for everyone trying to get on or off at the current stop.

        So glad I’m not the only one with sidewalk/pedestrian/public transit rage. :)

      • Constance Justice

        similar to this, my pet peeve is oversized umbrellas on a busy city sidewalk.

        • Godzilla

          Oh and the people who carry large umbrellas horizontally when they’re walking and it’s not raining, unknowingly about to stake the person behind them. I don’t want to be skewered by an umbrella!

      • jcb

        omg yes. Every. Morning. I have to walk against the flood of commuters coming from the train station east into the loop. People! The sidewalk goes both ways! You must share with those heading west! Do not try to just run me down! Move to the right!!

      • ning

        I’m totally that nuts NYC woman who reminds “bad at sidewalks” people that they’re on a SIDEWALK as a nearly knock them over to get past.

        I want to shout “I’m glad you’re having a nice stroll, but I actually have somewhere to GO!”

      • anon

        OMG, do you live in my city ? I swear it’s going to drive me crazy someday. A friend of mine actually left the city (partly) because she just couldn’t stand the whole “crawl in the middle of the sidewalk and then stop cold gazing into the air” thing

        What you describe is just the way people behave here on sidewalks. They also have an uncanny ability to stop dead in the WORST places ever (on top of escalator, between sliding doors, in narrow aisles … ). There are escalator everywhere, yet NOBODY knows how to ride in them (ie stand on the right if you’re not moving).

        I once nearly ended in the water while running because, when they heard me arriving behind them, three persons that were walking side by side stopped dead to blankly stare at me, and didn’t move a toe for a few minute. The path was narrow and slippery, near a river – it was a close call.

        Sidewalk rage does not even begin to describe how I feel here.

    • NOLA

      BTW, love this thread. We do an assignment with one of my classes where the students give a speech on a pet peeve. It gets them fired up and makes for great speeches and they are hilarious. My co-teacher and I always tell them that we’re probably their biggest nightmares because we do half of the things that are their peeves!

    • Anonners

      I hate when people dress their pets in clothes. Even if the animals seems fine with it. Even if it is winter and the animal needs a sweater because it is cold. Just no. The pets are domesticated animals and animals do not need clothes! They have fur.

    • MaggieLizer

      I have a lot of trouble keeping things on hand that you don’t buy regularly; I’m a creature of habit, what can I say? Yesterday (and this happens to me a lot) I ran out of shaving cream when I was in the shower and had already shaved one leg. I had known for a week or two I was running low but thought, ohhh I can last just a little longer. I jumped out of the shower dripping wet, dragging my bath mat under me, and pulled everything out of my drawers and cabinets hoping I had another, but alas, there was no more. I went to the store that night and bought 5, but I know the same thing will happen again eventually.

      • Blackbird

        I’m the opposite of this. I always wind up buying too many of something because I think I’m out of it.

        For example… Last week I picked up some olive oil at the grocery store bc I remembered we were running low. I got home only to find that I have two bottles of olive oil in the pantry because I had this same thought process the last two times I was at the grocery store. And, knowning me, it will probably happen next week too…

        • SF Bay Associate

          I do this too. We have a lifetime supply of toothpaste, contact solution, olive oil, and canned tomatoes in the house because I keep thinking we need more. And my DH looks at yet another bottle of olive oil in the grocery bag and says why????

          I am all over this thread. This says a lot about my neuroses, doesn’t it?

      • Ashley

        Is it bad that I have BOTH of these problems? I can’t keep us stocked up on shampoo and toothpaste, but we’ve got 10 cans of green beans in the pantry because I just assume we need green beans every time we go to the store. Same thing with lotion and bell peppers… I am out of lotion, but the bell peppers are overflowing and will probably spoil.

        • Coalea

          I also have both of these problems! I run out of essentials like soap, yet am apparently preparing for a worldwide shortage of soy sauce.

          • TCFKAG

            This made me LOL out loud. I’m stocking up for a worldwide shortage of baking soda and all the fixings for turkey bean chili. But when we ran out of fabric softener sheets it took us like three months to replace them.

            No explanation for why.

        • jcb

          We need to organize some sort of household goods exchange. I have no green beans or bell peppers, but I have about 5 boxes of toothpaste and 20 bottles of different lotions. Why??

          • Ashley

            Ahaha, yes, but then how would I remember to post it up on the exchange forum and mail it to you in a timely manner…? :)

          • CA Atty

            Don’t get me started. My SO and roommates swear that canned vegetables taste better and have all the same nutrients no matter how many things I show them/cook them that are the opposite.

          • SF Bay Associate

            Seriously. I tried to hold my tongue but now that you’ve said it, I have to chime in. I draw the line at canned tomatoes. No other vegetable should come out of a can. I do buy canned black/kidney/garbanzo beans, but those beans are legumes, not vegetables.

          • Kontraktor

            Hm, I buy the small cans of corn sometimes if I need a bit for a dish and don’t want to buy a big giant frozen bag. I also will occasionally buy marinated artichokes or canned hearts of palm for salads. I feel you can’t really do those things from scratch? What about stuff like canned chipotles in a adobo? I buy those often too because they are great for sauces, as a condiment, etc. Do you guys not buy those things?

          • CA Atty

            Kontraktor, I really just can’t stand canned green beans. I like almost all vegetables but they just seem squishy and take on the tinny taste of the can. For corn I would still 100% prefer frozen, I usually buy the giant bags and always have some on hand because I will also just eat a bowl of corn plain for a meal or snack. I thought artichokes/hearts of palm usually came in glass jars and although I understand those are also “canned” they’re not in those tin cans. Those I think are fine. Canned sauces I totally buy, like the chipotles in adobo.

            So yes, things you can’t really do from scratch yourself, I would buy, but for things like green beans, corn, peas (oh god, canned peas *shudder*) carrots, asparagus (another shudder) frozen or fresh are the way to go. I almost always do frozen because fresh goes bad too often, but I’m pretty anti cans after 2.5 years in this family. :-)

            Of course, I also taught this family that if you rinse the vegetables after opening the can they taste better too. They never thought to rinse them.

          • SF Bay Associate

            CA Atty, I was just coming here to say exactly what you said. Yes to frozen corn and peas in resealable ziplocs, jarred artichokes, and canned chipotles in adobo, as Kontraktor pointed out. Are you in the Bay Area? Can we be foodie friends?

          • NOLA

            Couldn’t you just use part of a bag of frozen? I just put a twist tie on it and put it back in. I do buy canned artichokes, though, and beets, just because I like canned beets (call me crazy).

          • CA Atty

            SF Bay Associate, I am in the bay area-ish. Santa Rosa but we can totally be foodie friends!

            I have only recently (this year) started being more foodie, when I started thinking it would be nice to lose a few pounds and discovered I actually enjoy cooking more complicated meals than mac n’ cheese with hot dogs and (frozen!) veggies. :-) I’ve had a few disasters. (forgot to put the cup of water in the crock pot for salsa chicken. It was doggy chicken. They were happy.)

            It just amazed me the differences between my family, which I know is pretty weird, and my SO’s family. I would never have even dreamed of eating canned green beans and I had no idea why people bought them (in case of zombie apocalypse? For weird recipes that required mushy green blobs?) until entering this family.

            On the other hand, as my SO frequently reminds me, my family may eat “healthy” (it’s up for debate depending on the week) but they are pretty incredibly weird in a) how they go about it and b) everything else in the world.

          • Kontraktor

            I would say except for things that I mentioned that I can’t really do myself, I buy fresh. I am not really a frozen vegetable person. Plus, we don’t really take a “well stocked” approach to grocery buying, mainly to avoid waste. I mean we stock up on a few things (mostly condiment items, a few grains, spices, and the occasional no-salt canned tomatos or beans when they rarely go on sale), but we won’t say buy bags of frozen vegetables just to have around. We mostly get groceries only for what we eat in a week. I find I hate to buy things and then end up wasting them. Afterall, even if I put a twist tie on something it won’t last in the freezer forever. I much prefer to buy what I need when I need it, and a lot of the time at least that means I can buy fresh (ie, grab a handful of green beans fresh for just myself vs. buying a huge bag of frozen that will be around forever). But I agree that if you can’t buy fresh, generally frozen is than canned.

            One Thanksgiving my MiL made those purple canned yams, pretty much just straight out of the can heated up… I wanted to die/gag. Not only that but I feel they were the foods we always gave to the homeless people at food drives in grade school. The next Thanksgiving I banned my in laws from the kitchen.

    • Former MidLevel

      My silliest pet peeve that is my own darn fault is….putting things I own in places that seem logical at the time, but then not being able to remember that logic later on.

      • N.

        And apparently we were writing this at the same time…. great minds forget alike? :)

      • NOLA

        And this is why I was completely unable to find my wedding rings when I went to sell off my old gold jewelry. When I thought of where they were months later, it made completely sense, but at the time, I ripped the house apart and had no idea where they were.

    • N.

      I get irrationally annoyed at some word mispronunciations. The one that drives me the most nutty is when people pronounce “preface” as “pre-face” rather than “pref-iss”. Pref-iss sounds so nice to my ear and pre-face is just so grating.

      On things that I have no one but myself to blame — when I store an infrequently used item in a “logical” location and then can’t re-create that logic later on for the life of me. I have a brand new box of business cards but can’t locate my business card holder for the life of me, because I took it out of my bag when it was empty and put it somewhere safe. Sigh.

      • Susan

        Yes, but these may be the same people who will one day encounter the words:

        “Prix fixe” on a menu.

        When they pronounce that first x as “cks”, I will not find it grating. Oh no. I will be grinning like a Cheshire cat.

      • Anonymous NYer

        Yup. Can’t find my notary stamp and seal. I wound up getting a new stamp because my new office paid for it, but where in the h#ll did I put the original ones? There’s only so many places in my place to store things. I fear they have fallen into the abyss.

        • Susan

          I am convinced that my washing machine (and dryer) contain portals to another dimension mostly populated by unmatched socks and gloves. Maybe the stamp & seal are in that dimension?

          • Anonymous NYer

            oh most definitely. You’ll find your sock one day with a raised embossed seal of my NY notary public stamp. They found each other on the other side…

      • anon

        Even worse in my book – “breathe”. If someone tells me to “breathe” I want to punch them in the face.

      • eaopm3

        Yep. This drives me insane, too. Along with “Don’t worry” (my husband’s line) and “Relax and have a drink” (my dad’s line). I WILL RELAX AND NOT WORRY AND HAVE A DRINK WHEN I AM D@MN WELL READY!! Sorry for the Ellen-esque caps, but this has been going on my entire life and I needed to shout about it.

      • Senior Attorney

        Or, worst of all, when some random man on the street commands me to “smile!”

        If I ever kill someone, it will be over this.

        • Monday

          Yeah, this has always majorly pi$$ed me off. My job is not to walk around beautifying the landscape for you, dude. I’m all the less inclined to smile when I’m being patronized and, usually, leered at too.

        • Anon

          Or complete strangers who feel the need to comment on my height (I’m 5′ tall). “Gee, you’re not much taller when you stand up! Hahaha!” “All that snow we got during Snowmageddon, that was about your height, right?” “My sister was about your height. Tiny little thing.”

          Really, people? If it’s not PC for me to comment on how fat you are, how your pants and top don’t match, or how your feet are reallllly gross, how is it PC to comment on me being short?

          • CSF

            To extend the height thing, to the height/weight combo. A mediator came into my office last week during a mediation, in front of my clients, and commented on my jacket size. “Oh, I’ve never been a size 0, must be nice!”

            In front of my CLIENTS!

          • SoCalAtty

            Or this one – “Counsel, stand up! Oh, you are standing.” Hilarious. Yay for the 5′ nothing club.

          • Jo March

            “YOu’re SO tiny! Eat a cheeseburger.” Umm, f*** you very much, but I’m fine. Thanks for your concern though.

        • Emm

          In Denver there is a main street I have to walk to get to my bus where all kinds of people are standing out there every day with clipboards trying to get you to sign up to donate money for all types of causes. They will block your way and try to be cutesy with some sort of wave or gesture, stick out their hand to try to get you to shake it, and always have some sort of comment (“Hey! You don’t have to text me, I’m right here!” or “You lost your smile!”) Drives. me. nuts. I am just trying to get to my bus for my commute, and I am under no obligation to stop and talk or shake the hand of a stranger. Leave me alone!!! End rant.

        • Anon Analyst

          Yes! I hate being commanded to smile. Seriously, what if something just horrible happened in my life and that’s the reason I’m not smiling?

      • NOLA

        Oh I hate that, too, especially when my SO says it, BUT one of my favorite moments from the week before my wedding was the Monday before when one of the groomsmen backed out and my then-fiance was out at a meeting and I was at home panicking. I called a friend of mine who said “Relax, honey, have some wine.” Except she’s from Georgia, so it came out “wahyun” and I just cracked up.

      • CA Atty

        I feel that way when people use my name too much. Like “Look, CA Atty, we need to do x, y, then z, okay, CA Atty?” I’m like, um, are you mad at me or just trying to remind yourself who you’re talking to?

        • Kontraktor

          I hate it when people use the shortened/diminuative form of my name without asking first. Like they know me or something. Um, no, you can call me Kontraktor until I tell you that I prefer to be called otherwise. Not, Konny or Kon or whatever other short form of my name you can think of. I just find it incredibly presumptive, not only to shorten somebody’s name (a lot of variants of my name are very cutesy) as if you are friendly with them when you’re not, but to assume you know what somebody likes to be called when nobody else addresses them by that name.

          I also find it really uncomfortable when people use my name frequently as you noted. Or put my name in the middle of a sentence like salesman using a bad technique to ‘personalize’ his relationship with me or something.

          • M

            This! I am really bothered by people using my name too much. Apparently some people just talk this way, but it just puts me on edge.

    • Niktaw

      I hate long, loud, lusty… yawns – I cringe, shudder and it takes me several minutes to get over my annoyance. Unfortunately, my husband is apt to produce these quite often.
      My reaction used to be worse. It goes back to the time our first child was born – she had difficulty falling asleep, and I was always afraid that he’d wake her up by yawning. This child is now in college and the issue is no longer relevant.
      Husband knows about this idiosyncrasy of mine and tries to, er, subdue these sounds, but often forgets.

      Today I am happy because I have the aforementioned husband and awesome kids and it’s summer!

      • Godzilla

        Your yawning thing reminded me of people who sigh in relief after taking a sip of anything. Gulp and the “ahhhhhhhhhhhh” with an extra hard H. Why? Why do people do this? It’s so annoying. And my whole family does it.

        • jcb

          The big gulp and lip smack is so very gross. Also, any kind of knuckle-cracking/joint-popping makes me want to jump out of my skin. It really, really grosses me out to hear someone’s cartilage rubbing around, or whatever is going down in there!

        • Jordan

          I do this now but only because of the Curb Your Enthusiam episode about it. AHHHH delicious! What? I am enjoying my drink!

      • anon

        Partner in the office next to me does this. :-( Also clips nails loudly. Really.

      • anon

        This is my husband’s pet peeve! He’s taken to mocking it, and routinely throws out random percentages like telling my daughter that she gave 160% at her soccer game.

      • Sconnie

        OMG yes. I can’t stand when people talk about someone “giving 110% every day.” (or every game or every case or whatever) No. That is impossible. Not only because more than 100% is impossible, but because if they do it every time it is no longer special or extra.

    • DC Law

      I’ve noticed lately several people I work with say “whenever” when they just mean “when.” like “whenever my son was born…” or “whenever I was first hired…” Apparently it’s quite common in the south but I’d never heard it before. It drives me nuts.

      • eaopm3

        Ashamed face. I do this and friends from law school would make fun of me for it. I didn’t even know I did it, though I would never write something that way. I think I use it mostly when I am not sure of the specific date or time to which I am referring. So, I don’t think I’d use “whenever my son was born” because I would remember that date. Or maybe I am making excuses because I probably cannot correct myself at this point!

      • a lawyer

        I’m in the deep South and have never heard this use of whenever, anywhere, here or elsewhere. I really don’t think it is common in the south.

        • Anon

          Every time I hear this, it’s from one of my Oklahoman friends– although it may not purely be an OK thing (it’s just that I live in TX and meet a lot of OK natives!).

    • KSW

      Omg I was just thinking about something yesterday and wondering why it bothers me so much….I just hate when dudes have those fake b@lls hanging from the bumper of their vehicle (usually a monster truck of some sort). I just think it’s such a DOOSHY, disgusting thing and what’s the point? Ugh so gross.

      • CA Atty

        Yeah, that just grosses me out. Plus it’s like, what, you want to anthropomorphize your inanimate object? So it can go around getting other inanimate objects pregnant? I don’t understand…

      • C

        LOL! My DH hates this too. He doesn’t hate anything except the fake b@lls. It is such a visceral reaction that it makes me laugh because he is usually so easy going!

    • just Karen

      “You guise” – it still makes me cringe each and every time I read it. I honestly don’t know why it bothers me so much, but there you go.

    • Coalea

      I * have * to have all my money facing the same direction in my wallet. I get annoyed at cashiers who give your change facing in all different directions and then I have to stand there like a weirdo and get it all straightened out before I can move along. Totally my own fault.

    • eek

      Washing the duvet cover and forgetting to dry it. It’s 11pm and still in the washing machine.

      Knowingly filling up the trash bag with too much stuff (not overflowing, just mega-stuffed) and then it’s a b*t ch to remove from the can.

      I have many more. Among them, forgetting to return Netflix movies. Man, I sorta annoy the hell out of myself, I better stop here.

      • MissJackson

        I do all of these things and annoy the crap out of myself, too.

        And: failing to do laudry in a timely manner. I always recoginize that I’m about to run out of workout clothes, socks, underware, or whatever. I see the impending disaster/emergency coming, and time and time again I fail to take action. And then I am so mad at myself (note: it does not matter how many items I own. I have at least a month’s worth of undergarments, but I still wait until I’m down to the ragged ones before I do laundry. I’m pretty sure I could own a year’s worth and still have the same problem.)

        • Coalea

          I have been known to purchase additional underwear because I ran out (aka postponed laundry for too long).

          • CA Atty

            I have been tempted to do this, but I absolutely 100% HAVE to wash underwear before I wear them. Even if they come in a package. No. Matter. What.

            Also, I think I’m going to physically stop myself from commenting any further because I could chime in on almost everyone’s post with “me too!!” Except, sorry @just Karen, but I love “you guise” I always think of a mobster from New Joisey all blinged out with chest hair sticking out of his shirt gesturing with his machine gun for all his mobster buddies to come check out a kitten playing with a duckling.

    • AN

      I hate it when people say ” off of…” . It’s just “off”.

      As in, get your @ss off the sofa. Not ” off of” the sofa.

      • Another Zumba Fan

        It bugs me when people type “should of” instead of “should have.”

        • Coalea

          YES!

          Also, please don’t try to use a foreign word or phrase in your letter/email/text unless you know how to spell it. I don’t want to be invited to “ronday vouz” with you!!!

          • ahm

            hahahah @ “Ronday Vouz”…my friend once dated a guy on and off who treated her really badly. At one point when they not officially together he was trying to get her to hook up with him and he sent her an IM (this was 2003) asking if she wanted to have a “ronday voo” (or some similar spelling). We just about died laughing. And no, they did not ronday voo.

          • Senior Attorney

            But the worst one? When people say “wallah!” when they mean “voila!”

            Oy.

      • Niktaw

        This really upsets me, too. I’ve even seen “off of” in books, that supposedly went through editing and proofreading process. And I don’t think it was a stylistic device.

    • l

      I HATE IT when people are speaking, and they address the audience, “Good Morning,” and everyone murmers back, “mmmmrng” (because they are there to listen and not shout greetings), and then the speaker says, “I SAID ‘GOOD MORNING,'” to prompt the audience to reply more loudly. I have no idea why, but it makes me want to strangle people.

      • CA Atty

        Oh my goodness, DEFINITELY. They say they’re trying to wake the audience up or something. I’m thinking “we’re awake, this just isn’t a call and answer period!” And if they do it more than once I can actually feel my blood pressure rising.

    • JK

      I hate it when people say “a whole nother” as in “that’s a whole nother issue.” NOTHER IS NOT A WORD!

    • Nonny

      Kutesy, deliberate misspellings.

      “Welcome to the Kidz Komfy Korner!”

      Gah, kill me now.

      • Anonymous

        Especially when these misspellings are associated with kid’s services, products, etc. teaching kids to spell correctly is kind of a big deal in my book, so why would I patronize a business that purposely undermines this. Big pet peeve of mine!

    • AnonAZ

      My roommate leaves the open box of cereal on the counter every morning. Every morning when I get my coffee, I close it and put it back in the pantry. Rinse and repeat.

      And yes, it is totally my own fault for just fixing it. Maybe I’ll try the ordering him back to the kitchen to do it himself tack and see how that works out ;)

    • Jules

      Pet peeve that’s all my own fault? Spending WAY too much of my day fooling around — on this site or, say, looking for the perfect pair of red patent non-leather slingbacks* — and then having to stay late or work on the weekend to make up the time or get something done. And I get on my teenage son for being undisciplined . . .

      *This is even sillier because I have just such a pair that I love but I am already dreading the day when they wear out.

      • TCFKAG

        What is a patent, non-leather shoe made out of? I can’t figure out how to even search for this! Because of course — I can’t help but try.

        • NOLA

          Some patent is real leather and some is basically plastic. The real patent leather, I have discovered, is so much more comfortable.

          • TCFKAG

            But she wants NON-leather (presumably because she’s vegan maybe). How do I SEARCH for that????

            I want to be of help!! Its my thing. I help. Its probably one of my biggest problems.

          • Jules

            Right; I’m a vegan-leaning vegetarian (can’t quite give up cheese and greek yogurt) and I choose not to wear leather. TCFKAG, I thought about putting you to work on this — FYI, you have to go to zappos, etc., and search for synthetic or faux or manmade — but actually, I think I have found the pair. I just haven’t hit the “buy” button yet because, well, I do already have not one but two pairs of shiny red shoes. The slingbacks I own are a slightly deeper red than this one — link to follow — so my rationalization is that they are not EXACTLY the same.

            But thanks for the offer of shopping help — I’ll definitely be in touch on the next hopeless vegan shoe quest.

          • NOLA

            Yeah, sorry I was on my way from one office to another so couldn’t get back to you. Use faux or synthetic or manmade. I used to wonder what “faux” patent leather could be until I discovered that some of it has real leather underneath.

            And Jules, the slingbacks are pretty – I’d have to change out the tip of the heel. I think the tan looks weird. Also, every pair of kitten heel slingbacks I’ve ever had has torn off the pedicure on my fourth toe. No idea why.

    • Bonnie

      I have to add another pet peeve based upon today: when people at conferences comment on every single topic. Shut the f up already.

      • Jo March

        God. Unmeritorious questions and comments make me *crazy*. Don’t you all just want to go HOME already??

        • Jules

          The pet peeve of almost my entire first-year law school section was one girl who ALWAYS had a comment or question for the civ pro professor at the end of class. On the last day of the year when she approached him at the podium the whole class yelled more or less in unison, “SHUT UP, TRUDY!”*

          *Name changed to protect the annoying.

    • rosielo

      This is fun, and makes me realize how neurotic I am (although I already knew that…). My current one that is an actual, legit complaint because I just have to rant about it: roommates who don’t put your clean dishes away! Why?? Stop piling your dishes on top of the ones that are already in the drying rack, put them away first! Gah. This is the second roommate in a row to do this. WTF?

    • K... in transition

      may I just say that I adore any time I get a shout out? it makes my day!

      pet peeve? that drive thru windows only place their menus right at the speaker. I spent 10 mins sitting in a line waiting for my turn, when I -could- be looking at the menu and deciding, but no, you only put the menu right next to the box where the voice is clearly frustrated with me for not already knowing what I want. what kinda garbage is that?!

    • Praxidike

      Listening to people drink milk makes me want to gag and DIE.

      Also: when a lane on the highway is closed, and someone zooms up that lane, and then attempts to merge in front of me and cut me off. Sorry, impatient mother-f’er – I know how to follow rules and signs. So should you. I never let them merge (because I am petty).

      • TCFKAG

        That’s not a silly pet peeve. That’s a serious life problem that is a basis for justifiable homicide. Seriously. GRARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

      • CA Atty

        AGREED!

        I never let them merge either and I yell at the cars in front of me who do.

      • Gem

        In Germany using all the available lanes until the block is a big deal. Just saying

        • anon

          Yup – as much as it’s a pet peeve, merging at the merge point and using both lanes in times of back up is considered the correct and most efficient method by transportation departments. It works just fine if you leave enough room to zipper properly

          • CA Atty

            Perhaps, and I really have no problem with both lanes being backed up and doing a zipper. The problem arises when one &^%$# decided to ride the car in front of his bumper to try to get a car ahead, and even more poignantly when ALL the cars are in one lane and some little %^&%$ races up the other lane all by themselves and try to shoulder in.

    • Petunia

      My pet peeve – my DH uses the hand towel in our bathroom for a million things besides drying your hands/face…he wipes the counter with it, sneezes into it, etc…and then proceeds to leave it on the counter for future use! Drives me insane and I change them constantly. He also tried recently to kill a roach in our kitchen with my new Martha Stewart kitchen towel which was the closest thing to him…even though some old newspaper was within an arms reach as well and he could have wadded that up! I about died on him.

    • SoCal Gator

      Today’s peeve — I keep apples in the office fridge for my healthy snack and someone has beens tealing them. Argh!

      • SoCal Gator

        Sorry — hit the Submit button too soon to catch the typo.

        Someone has been stealing them…..

    • Bean

      Failure to use a coaster. And why is it always on a nice piece of furniture? I found the wet bathroom toothbrush cup (and accompanying ring) on an end table in the bedroom this morning…and then met with “I don’t know, it wasn’t me.” Mind you, there are only two people living here…and it definitely wasn’t me!

  8. Merabella

    Gorgeous dress!

    TJ – I’m going to SoCal with my husband for a week in July. I’ll be staying in Orange Co. but I’m willing to drive a fair amount for cool stuff to do. He has to work most of the week, so I’ll be flying solo for the most part. Any suggestions for cool things to do/places to eat/food trucks to patronize?

    • Kontraktor

      What sort of food do you like? What do you like to do? I grew up in OC and can suggest some stuff.

      • Merabella

        I’m a fan of all food really. I am more of a cultural traveler – I like museums & shopping/hangin’ out like a local over hiking/outdoorsy things – though I’ll do both.

        • Kontraktor

          I second heading to South Coast Plaza just to see a lot of high end stores in one place (although I obviously don’t buy much there). Fashion Island is okay, but there is a lot of construction there now and not a ton of stores you couldn’t see in most places. If you want to go to a mall, I think South Coast is your better bet. Fashion Island isn’t really anything special.

          The Getty Museum (not quite OC, closer to LA) is really neat. That could be a great day excursion. I happen to think Disneyland could be worth it if you’ve never been (not CA Adventure, but the regular park), although in July it could be really hot and more crowded than you want to deal with (plus it might not also be super fun to go alone). I do think they have fireworks though each night and stay open late (at least they used to), so it might be worth looking into going at night on a week day and watching fireworks.

          I like Big Corona for sitting on the beach where there are more people. Little Corona tidepools are neat as OC commenter said. Crystal Cove beaches are rather rocky and I probably wouldn’t recommend for swimming. Head to the Laguna Beach area if you want to look around a ton of beachy/boutique shops, have a lot of scenic views, see a lot of art gallery type stores, and also sit on the beach (there are a lot of little beach alcoves in Laguna that are not very crowded and this is where I go when I want beach time at home).

          As for food, there is a vegetarian cafe (with a few locations) called Veggie Grill that I would eat at every day if I could. They have a phenominal kale salad and tons of sandwiches made with marinated tempeh and seitan. And awesome sweet potato fries. I have never really come across a veg restaurant like it elsewhere. My favorite upscale Italian place is Prego in Irvine. Well made food, really tasty, very fresh. For more homestyle Italian, I like Peppino’s (in Mission Viejo I believe). Versailles is a super yummy Cuban restaurant more in the LA area (but they have one location just past Long Beach). I think it’s fun to have an In N Out burger if you never have (they are a CA staple and pretty okay for a fast food hamburger), and there is also Tommy’s for chili dogs and burgers (there is a Tommy’s in Fountain Valley). There a ton (ton!) of really great Asian restaurants (I mean, really anything you could want, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, etc.), so if you like any of that, definitely hit that scene up (I feel I have my favorites but there are so many to recommend it’s almost better to search yourself). Lee’s Sandwiches has a lot of locations in CA and they do Vietnamese sandwiches. They always seemed popular with college kids/a lot of people.

        • OC

          IN OC:

          Performing Arts: check out the websites of the Orange County Performing Arts Center, Segerstrom Hall, South Coast Repertory and the Laguna Playhouse.

          Museums: check out the websites of the Bowers Museum, OC Museum of Art and Laguna Museum of Art.

          Hanin’ out like a local: Balboa Island! Local tip: park at the grocery store across the street and walk across the bridge. Grab a frozen banana or a Balboa Bar, stroll around the perimeter of the islands (Big Balboa and Little Balboa). For an even better view of the harbor, take the Balboa Island Ferry (as a pedestrian, not with your car) to Balboa Peninsula and back.

          IN LA IF YOU HAVE A CAR:

          Option 1: Day at the Getty Villa in Malibu (make parking reservations) followed by late lunch at The Reel Inn.

          Option 2: Day at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art followed by lunch at the gourmet food trucks parked in front on Wilshire and a stroll through the La Brea tarpits.

          Option 3: Day at a Korean spa getting a scrub and massage. I think the nicest and cleanest one is Natura Spa on Wilshire.

          • Kontraktor

            Just popped into my head. When is Pageant of the Master’s?? If it’s when the poster is going, that could be a super fun experience.

            Merabella, Pageant of the Master’s is a huge performance where actors dress up as paintings. They are all in costumes/in the scenery of famous paintings and it is pretty amazing. I would love to go again (I’ve only gone once and it was a long time ago). I am not sure when it is, but it might be happening when you are around and I bet you would like it if you could get tickets.

          • Merabella

            Got tix to Pageant of the Masters! I’m super psyched about that. I like all of these ideas ladies!

          • Kontraktor

            Merabella, very excited you’re going to Pageant of the Master’s. It’s just a really cool different sort of performance. As I said, I would totally go again so I’m jealous!

        • C

          There is a kick-a$$ sushi/Japanese restaurant in a strip mall in Lake Forest called Wazen Sushi. Random location, but some of the best sushi around.

    • OC

      * Noguchi sculpture garden near South Coast Plaza.

      * A drink at sunset at either the Dana Point Ritz Carlton or the St. Regis Monarch Bay.

      * Hiking in El Morro canyon and/or walking along the waterline at Crystal Cove State Park from the beach cottages south to the end of the beach (about a mile) and back.

      * Corona del Mar tidepools at “Little Corona” beach.

      * Shopping at either Fashion Island or South Coast Plaza.

      * OC Wine Mart (on Michaelson in Irvine). It has one of those wine dispenser machines and each 1 ounce pour costs between $1 and $9 depending on the wine.

      If I think of any more, I’ll come back and augment.

      If you have any specific types of things you like, leave another post.

      • Cici

        I’m in OC too and +1 OC’s suggestions. Plus, I would add:

        – If you like coffee, Portola Coffee Lab at the OC Mix Mart is really cool. Plus there is a cheese shop, olive oil, spice shop, plus other fun and quirky places. It is not a full day or even an afternoon, but it is not too far from SCP so you could do both in a day. They also have a farmers market on Saturday mornings:
        http://www.portolacoffeelab.com/
        http://www.theocmartmix.com/

        – Crystal Cove State Beach is my favorite beach spot. Another fun one is dog beach in Huntington
        http://www.dogbeach.org/

        – The “Rock” exhibit will be opening soon at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art. It has an interesting story and will be quite the experience.
        http://www.lacma.org

        – If you and/or your husband like cars, every Saturday morning there is a “meet up” of locals called Cars and Coffee. You will see cars that you won’t see anywhere else in the US…lots of exotics, rare cars, motorcycles, etc.
        http://irvine.carsandcoffee.info/

        – Irvine Great Park – there is not a lot there yet (it is a decommissioned military base), but there is a big orange balloon that you can ride for free. Gives a great view all around OC.
        http://www.ocgp.org/

        Have a great trip!

    • SoCalAtty

      I think everyone has pretty much covered everything. I’m going to throw my vote in for Disneyland. I love it, and California Adventure just opened up the new “Cars Land” which is pretty great. There is a new restaurant, sit down, semi-fancy, called “Carthay Circle” which is really good. We were just there last weekend and everything seems to be open from the remodel, including the Matterhorn.

      In the Grand Californian Hotel, there is an upscale restaurant called “Napa Rose.” It has won all kinds of awards and is also great. If you don’t want to pay for park admission and want to just check it out, you can park at Downtown Disney, check out the shops, and get I think 4 hours free parking if you eat somewhere. Napa Rose is right in the hotel, so no park admission required. There is also a New Orleans themed restaurant called the “Jazz Kitchen” which has been really good. They have a House of Blues as well, so you might check their schedule and see who will be playing. The blues jam nights are the best!

      Balboa is also really fun, and depending on where in OC you are staying, Huntington Pier can be fun if you want to surf, depending on the waves that day.

      For hiking, the hike up to the Hollywood sign through Griffith Park can be fun as long as it isn’t too hot. If it is hot, there are lots of trails that start around Malibu. One of my favorites starts in the parking lot of Malibu Seafood. We like to go out there, eat lunch, and hike around for a few hours. Great view and a great “dive” seafood place by the beach.

      Some of our great food trucks include the Lobsta Truck (lobster rolls!), the Buttermilk Truck, CoolHaus (ice cream sammies!), and the Grilled Cheese Truck. There are a bunch more as well, and if you follow them on twitter you’ll get location updates.

  9. Woods-comma-Elle

    You guise. What are your tips and tricks for making it through when you’re lacking in sleep and still have tons of work to do?

    I spent 20 hours in the office yesterday, followed by 4 hours sleep, followed by another busy-ish day today, but I’m really struggling to focus/get things done, even though I know the sooner I get on with it, the sooner I can go home! I went out at lunchtime specifically to get some air and try to wake up a bit, but now I’m back in the office and the afternoon slump is creeping in…

    TGFC! (Thank god for [this blog])

    • TCFKAG

      Elle….may I suggest finding a new job? Your job sounds cray-cray.

      But in the alternative, I find alternating between drinking coffee and green tea or vitamin water/gatorade and then doing laps around the office helps. As well as snacking on nuts and other power foods.

      • Woods-comma-Elle

        Aww thanks for the concern, but I only moan about it when it’s bad and it’s usually ok. I don’t regularly work 20-hour days, but yesterday I had to fill in for someone at a closing meeting and then came back to the office to deal with two other things where closing is imminent. Today feeling a tad zombie-like, but have another couple of hours before I can make my escape (aiming for 7, which probably means 8…)

    • Sydney Bristow

      Really cold water, getting up to walk around for a couple of minutes, and upbeat music with headphones on if possible helps me sometimes.

      And dang, 20 hours? I thought I’ve been working long days lately!

    • MaggieLizer

      Ugh sorry you’re having such a hectic few days. Plenty of water, fresh fruits, some grain like granola or oatmeal, and protein should help. Mint tea does wonders to wake me up, too. Try to hold off on caffeine as long as you can; you’ll really need your rest tonight!

    • Senior Attorney

      Somebody did a study a couple of years ago that seemed to show that missing a night of sleep can relieve depression. You can google the NY Times piece on it titled “In Sleepless Nights, a Hope for Treating Depression.” So whenever I have to miss a night or two of sleep, I just remind myself that it won’t kill me and will probably make me perkier.

      Sounds crazy, I know, but it actually helps me!

  10. Wednesday

    Shopping advice needed! Ladies, where do you go to shop for summer tops and dresses? Specifically I’m thinking of a business casual environment and evening networking events. I’ve tried Ann Taylor but everything seems a little too shiny this season.

    • TCFKAG

      I’d check out Lands End Canvas and Target this year, as well as Talbots and Brooks Brothers for more preppy/formal stuff. They have all been knocking it out of the park this season.

    • HoneyPillows

      I know there’s a good bit of animosity towards crew here, but their linen belted dress is a blessing in 97 degree, 90 percent humidity (actual weather today).

      I second Land’s End, as well. Their regular site’s sale page has Canvas clearance, so.don’t forget to check there!

    • Anon Analyst

      I got some cute stuff at The Limited and I also like Banana Republic. Sometimes I find stuff at Macys and they usually have sales and coupons. I also like Express.

  11. DCM

    I got a few great replies yesterday but am reposting to see if there are any more.

    London TJ – I’m jumping the pond for business in September and staying a few extra days to visit family and shop ;) While I’ve been there quite often, that was before I was more fashion-inclined. I guess my main question is this, if you could only go to one store, what would it be and what would you buy there? Also, what UK department store is considered the Nordstrom equivalent, or close to? Thanks!

    • Lydia

      I would go to LK Bennett. I just paid about $100 more for a dress at an LK Bennett store here than I would have paid in the UK (given the current exchange rate). LK Bennett fits me better than Reiss since I feel Reiss is cut for taller people with longer torsos. (I’m 5 ft 4in.)

      • TCFKAG

        I wish I lived in London just so I could own everything sold at LK Bennett. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

      • Gail the Goldfish

        I don’t know if this works with LK Bennett, but with some british retailers you can save on by ordering off their UK website rather than US website. My BF buys Charles Tyrwhitt (or however you spell it) shirts from .co.uk because their deal is 4 for 100 pounds, whereas the .com us site is 4 for $200–it ends up being about $50 cheaper, even with shipping.

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      House of Fraser is probably the closest to Nordstrom in that it has the broadest selection of brands and isn’t super expensive.

    • N.

      Liberty of London isn’t the biggest department store, but it’s gorgeous, and carries many high-end brands of clothing as well as cosmetics, jewelry, fancy chocolate and stationary, etc. I love spending an hour wandering around there!

    • qwerty

      Hobbs. totally regret not buying out the whole store during my last trip (think pretty conservative patterned blouses, sleeved dresses, and great cuts and fabrics). day to night, work to casual.

      • darjeeling

        Seconded! I spent way too much money at Hobbs when I was in London recently for work but everything was so perfect.

    • English Rose

      I second (or third or . . .) Hobbs and LK Bennett, and I absolutely love Liberty – even the building is beautiful. I always stock up at Jigsaw when I’m home, and I think the best department store by miles is John Lewis. If you’re in the area, go to the branch in Sloane Square (which, confusingly, is called Peter Jones).

  12. anonythis

    I have a networking lunch in DC on Friday. I’m not from DC, and wondering what is appropriate for this type of thing in DC’s swampy weather. For background, we are all associate lawyers, and I have never met them before. I was thinking of wearing a white skirt (bottom to a BR suit), a nice-fitting, patterned top, and ballet flats. Is that too casual? I’m assuming a suit is too much for a summer Friday…I could also wear a black dress with interesting details, or the Target scoop neck dress, with black heels but I’m wondering if those would be too formal.

    • TBK

      Ugh, you said it about the weather! I was a mess after walking to the Metro today. I think what you describe would be fine. I don’t know how much DC does casual Friday. I think Arnold & Porter does (as in jeans casual) but the other firms are mostly business casual all the time (think dress pants and dress shirt for men). Government lawyers (including Hill folks if their boss is in town) tend to wear suits every day. When I was at a firm, I wore my suit bottoms (skirts or pants) with nice sweaters/tops most days.

    • BigLaw Optimist

      I think this sounds fine and is exactly what I’d wear to a networking lunch here.

    • Bluejay

      That sounds fine but on the casual side. I’d probably go for a sheath-type dress and cardigan or jacket with heels. It may be cold inside, so you might want to pick something that you can wear a jacket with. Having said that, I usually see a range of dress at these types of things because everyone dresses according to their firm’s dress code. So you’ll see everything from full suits to possibly even jeans.

  13. C.G.

    I love this dress, but it seems to be gone from the website already!

    Etiquette threadjack: Going to a cocktail party in honor of the summer associates tonight (I’m a first-year). The party is at the home of one of the senior partners, and everyone in the office (~100 lawyers) is invited. It hadn’t occurred to me until now to think about bringing a hostess gift, but with such a big & work-related party, that seems a bit awkward. Thoughts?

    • anon

      It’s probably not necessary. At my firm nobody would bring a hostess gift for that type of event, and as summer associates we were instructed not to. The most I might do would be to send a thank you e-mail (or note mailed to his/her house) to the host afterward, but I can’t even claim to have done that in the past.

      • anonfish

        I hate being this person, but how do you know the senior partner is a man? (or lemme be uber pc and say, how do you know he is a straight, married man?)

        • Gem

          True.

          OP should the senior partner be male with a stay at home or working part time wife I’d send her flowers and a note the next day as I’d bet she was highly involved in the organising. Also because it’s what I was taught to do. Should senior partner be female, single or a man in a homosexual relationship apply common sense and good judgement

  14. Ashley

    I got invited to a traditional Nigerian Engagement Ceremony (so excited!), and the attire is traditional Nigerian or “semi-formal”. I won’t be wearing traditional Nigerian, but what constitutes “semi-formal” in this situation? Suit for my husband and c-tail dress for me? I have a floor-length dress in an eggplant purple that would work, and several nice dresses that I rotate for American weddings. It’s in August in Texas, but it will be inside, so I’m not terribly concerned about it being weather-appropriate. Do I bring a gift to this event? (I would assume so, but there was no registry information in the invite).

    • momentsofabsurdity

      I have no sound advice but it sounds awesome and I think you will have so much fun! From a quick google search, it looks like Nigerian clothing is similar to Indian clothing in that it covers the legs, so I would go with something floor length or maxi in a bright color.

    • KK

      As for gifts, I would say bring a card w/ cash. It’s pretty universally safe (and if no one else has brought anything, you can just leave it in your purse and roll the cash into the wedding gift).

    • TCFKAG

      I’ve never been to one, but I did a quick google search and there are some blogs on-line with pictures of American ones. Looks like traditional Nigerian wear is long, so I’d wear the long dress, so that you don’t feel uncomfortable.

      This blog seems to suggest that it is the grooms family that brings a set type of gifts to the engagement ceremony: http://bcgeventdecor.blogspot.com/2011/07/have-you-always-wondered-yoruba.html

      But here’s the thing. I recently went to a wedding outside my culture and I just asked these things to the bride before hand and she understood and was happy to answer them. Why not shoot off a quick e-mail to her or the groom?

        • Ashley

          Thanks for the links! Though it may not seem like it from my posting frequency today, I’ve got a lot going on at work, so letting the hive answer is quite helpful :)

      • Ashley

        I had that thought to just email the bride. We were on a group project for the MBA last semester, so I don’t know her terribly well. From what she mentioned during the semester, the Nigerian tradition is to throw a huge party and invite EVERYONE they know. I thought about just saying, “We’re excited to attend, are you guys registered anywhere?” for the gift thing. The “engagement” ceremony is actually the night before their Haitian-American wedding ceremony (again, so cool that they have several strong cultural traditions to add in to this life event!).

    • LegallyBrunette

      I think covering the legs is a good idea, so either a long dress or a long skirt with a fancy top. I would also just ask the person who invited you.

      I’m not familiar with Nigerian culture, but in most ethnic cultures giving a cash gift is the way to go. So if you feel inclined, maybe a nice card and cash or a gift card. Or just flowers and then wait to give a gift at the wedding. Have fun!

    • Cornellian

      I agree with the “cover your legs” advice. I’ve been to several Nigerian weddings and floor-length is a popular choice with women. Arm coverage doesn’t seem as traditional, however.

    • naijamodel

      Yaaaay! I’m Nigerian :-D

      You don’t have to cover your legs if you don’t want to. You do have to look GOOD. Basically we like bright colors and jewelry – so if you have something fabulous you have been wanting to wear but thought it was “too much”…consider getting it out lol. Most of the women will do their hair and wear a lot of gold.

      You don’t have to bring a gift. BUT, if you have cash, get some small bills. There is a point at which the bride and groom will be dancing and people may start “spraying” them with money. (yes, seriously). You can go up and participate :)

      I don’t know what tribe the bride is from, but this is a great depiction of a Yoruba traditional wedding. http://photographybyobi.co.uk/wedding/black-barbie-kens-nigerian-traditional-wedding/

      • Ashley

        Thanks for this advice, I love dressing up “extra”! Actually, the groom is Nigerian (not sure what tribe, I don’t know him, just the bride), and the bride is Haitian, but raised American. Love the photos on the link you posted! :)

  15. AIMS

    Great dress, but I was really jonesing to see something more suitable for a 95 degree/feels like 110 day as the thought of a black synthetic dress with a wide leather belt doesn’t seem all that appealing right now, unfortunately (on an 80 degree day, it would be gorgeous!). It’s apparently sold out anyway …
    Meanwhile, I spent all morning wishing I had something seersuckery to wear to work because even a summer weight wool suit was murder on my commute. If anyone has any great recs, please post. I was madly in love with a BB seersucker dress from earlier in the spring, but I waited to long and they are all gone now….

      • Cat

        they call it navy, so maybe I’m just blind – I thought the stripes were a dark gray.

      • AIMS

        Cat, I was so thinking of that dress this morning! I actually looked into my closet and wished I could make it materialize inside. I am so glad at least you have it (though I confess I am also just teensy bit envious, too).

        The skirt is cute! I liked last years, too, but hated the zipper. Maybe I will stop by to try on. Right now I have the gray seersucker dress in my Jcrew Cart. Keeping fingers crossed it works out.

      • jcb

        argh! my comment just disappeared! sorry if this posts twice – what I said was that I wore that skirt just yesterday, and it worked out great. The seersucker fabric didn’t have the same weird wrinkling/stretching issues that I’ve had with other No 2 pencil skirts recently. It is navy, but it’s kind of a greyish navy.

      • AIMS

        Gorgeous, but I would never go to work if I wore it. I’d just sit in a cafe all morning and drink mint juleps. It would not end well, careerwise ;)

    • MissJackson

      I was just eyeing a seersucker suit for the exact same reasons. I just saw a jacket + pants suit at LLBean Signature this morning. Not 100% convinced about the pockets on the pants, or the cut of the jacket (which looks quite casual with the snaps), though.

      I’m also keeping an eye on the JCrew No. 2 pencil skirt in seersucker, but sadly it’s not part of the sale yet (I have an aversion to paying full price for anything at JCrew, ymmv).

      Lands End also has some super deals on seersucker right now, but with limited sizes available, and not any full suits that I saw.

      • Cat

        I do too (generally refuse to pay full price at j.crew in particular). In fact, I’m keeping the tags on the skirt for another week or two to see if it makes it to the sale. I’ve just been looking for a seersucker skirt for several years now and wanted to get my hot little hands ON IT!

  16. TBK

    Anyone have good advice for bangs in soupy summer weather? My hair has some curl/waviness to it, but I usually dry it straight. I never had bangs until this summer and now when I go out in this terrible DC weather (100 degrees tomorrow!) it does this weird wing thing out to the side. I use hairspray on them but they still look terrible by the time I get to work. Anyone have any good suggestions or products?

    • Kontraktor

      I chopped my hair off because I was tired of it being horrible in the DC weather… but I don’t know how well short hair is working in general. So, maybe don’t chop your hair all off. :-)

      What products do you use other than hairspray? I would say look into a smoothing product or styling creme. Do you flat iron or just blow dry? Flat ironing will help make the shape a bit more permanent. Also, how often do you wash your hair? My hair sounds almost exactly like yours, and when it was long/I was straightening, I would only wash it every few days or so. That helped with the frizz/keeping it in place because by day 3 or 4, it would be more weighed down and less likely to do weird shapes.

      Since it’s just your bangs that are giving you problems, what about taming them with a wax and then setting with spray? For my short hair, I use a thick wax (Bumble and Bumble Sumotech, expensive but I would die without it) and set with alcohol-based spray. Alcohol should be the first ingredient for the strongest hold- if it’s water in yours, that could be part of the problem too. I use Tresseme humidity control/the green stripe bottle/I think it’s level 4 (but level 3 might work for you if it’s just bangs you want to set).

      Honestly I would say just keep trying different products and possibly start using a flat iron to get the bangs really straight/in exactly the shape you want.

      • BMBG

        Just embrace the fact that it’s more than 100 degrees in the middle of a swamp, and that no one’s hair is going to look great? Sorry, that’s the only solution I’ve come up with after six years.

    • Midwest

      I have short, sideswept bangs, and this is what I’ve been doing. I rub a teeny amount of paste on them bangs before I blowdry, just to give them some shape and so I can mold them into place. Then I hairspray the heck out of them when my hair is fully dry. I’m a big fan of G.arnier Fructis anti-humidity hairspray. Cheap, and works as well as anything I’ve tried. For the paste, I use A.quage. I was scared to use that much product but it’s working and doesn’t look crispy or gunky.

      • CSF

        I do something similar, a paste or a styling gel. I forgo hairspray, since that makes my hair look a little greasy (just me, I know).

        Another option is to bring a mini straightener (made for short hair and bangs), and do a touch up once you’re out of the heat.

    • Basics

      John Frieda just stopped making the all-time best product for this. It was called John Frieda Weather Proofing Style Sealant Creme. A small amount before blow-drying plus an anti-humidity hair spray after (I like the Alterna Bamboo one) did amazing things.

      For reasons unclear, John Frieda discontinued the product without replacing it with anything else. I just ordered two bottles from an independent seller via amazon (I hope they arrive and are as billed). In the meantime, if anyone has any other “weather proofing” products, I would love to hear about them.

      • Bluejay

        I use a Fructis anti-humidity hairspray on my curly hair that works surprisingly well for a $4 product. It does feel a bit gunky, so only use it on days when you plan to wash your hair at night.

    • DC Jenny

      My hair is too wavy/cow-licky for bangs in any climate, but I just wanted to commiserate on the horrid DC weather. I got stuck in the delay on the red line this morning, almost died of a heat stroke, and my carefully ironed hair has staged a revolution that somehow simultaneously involves an 80’s wave and The Rachel flip. I’m thinking of just wearing a turban until fall.

      • Flamingo

        There is a heat advisory until 8pm or so! I hope you at least get to wear some relaxed, breathable clothes. Twice this week I have seen guys at different events sweat through their suit jackets.

      • Bluejay

        I always wonder who the hell plans these things. Unless you just moved to DC in the past 8 months, it’s inexcusable to plan an outdoor party (especially an outdoor party that involves cooking with heat) in the summer. I’d skip it.

      • anonythis

        If only. It’s a yearly event for a big organization, and I only get to go every other year or so…and I am here with a few others from my firm, so short of being hospitalized, I am going.

        My consolation is that everyone will be equally miserable.

    • Godzilla

      Maybe forgo the bangs look during uber-humid days? Like a flattened Snooki-poof? Twist the bangs and pin to your head + ponytail? Or a headband?

      • Anastasia

        I’m doing the flattened Snooki-poof. I’m not even going to attempt bangs until October, even though I think I look MUCH better with something hiding at least a bit of my fivehead. There’s no help for it in DC. *waves white flag*

        Also, commiseration for all who got stuck on the red line this morning. I was almost a half hour late to work, and then my boss was in an epically bad mood and I bore the brunt of it… here’s to hoping the afternoon goes better than my morning.

    • Super Swamp

      I am trying to embrace BMBG’s approach and be accepting that my hair looks not good between June and August. Still mortified at being sweaty and stinky. I’m not using Old Spice, which I think works, except I smell like dude.

    • No Problem

      This is also my first summer with bangs since about fifth grade, and I live in DC. My hairdresser suggested that I style my sideswept bangs how I want to in the morning, and then bobby pin them to the other side of my head for my commute (so if they sweep over my right eye, to pin them backwards to the left, basically opposite of where they should go). Then take the pin out when I get to work and fuss with them a bit to make them behave again. It would probably be a good idea to keep a bottle of hairspray and a brush or comb in your desk so you can make any last minute adjustments.

      • TBK

        Thanks for all the advice! Never thought of using paste before, but will definitely look into it. No Problem — so funny, I’ve just started pinning my bangs to my head for the commute (although I did it on the same side as they go, but I’ll try the opposite side). It worked okay for today. Not great (and very unlovely during the commute — but it’s Metro) but better than Flying Nun hair.

    • Jordan

      I switched to sweep bang. Sweat mixes right in. Back to full bang in fall.

  17. Merabella

    Anyone here do dry brushing? Every blog I read swears by it, but it just gives me images of Bridget Jones’ Diary. Pros, Cons, worth it?

    • Cb

      I’ve been doing it for a few weeks and have noticed a difference in my skin. It seems smoother and I have fewer bumps and enlarged hair follicles. Definitely don’t forget to seriously moisturize, I just showered and didn’t do anything one day and my skin felt tender.

        • Cb

          I’m not based in the states, so no recs unfortunately but I just bought one of Amazon UK that had good reviews and wasn’t too expensive. I didn’t want one with a handle.

  18. SugarMag

    Kat, why would you post an item that was only available in one size, but is now completely sold out? Seems like a way to torture those who would see the post and want the item. Anyone find a similar style out there?

  19. ANON

    VPL question: I got used to comfy underwear while PG and am having the damnest time adjusting now that I’m in normal clothes again. I HATE VPL. Can anyone recommend any non-thong underwear that seems to work? Somehow I used have boy shorts that worked, now they all just roll up in weird ways. Hose used to help mush everything in, but a lot of my summer dresses are unlined and hose won’t work with them and would look too formal anyway. Just stop caring? Accept the evil of the thong?

    • Anon

      Gap stretch cotton hipsters (or low-rise stretch cotton hipsters – for some reason, they have two names but are identical). Online has limited sizes now but I’ve almost always had luck in the stores. Super comfy under pants, shorts, skirts, dresses, etc. No riding up. Honestly, the only time I’ve seen VPL is when I try on a pair of pants/skirt/dress that is unflatteringly tight no matter what, and a thong wouldn’t save it.

    • Merabella

      I like the Soma Vanishing Edge panties. They have silicon grippers on the edges to help with VPL. I know there is a target version that is cheaper as well. I swear by these.

      • LR

        I was raving about the Target ones a couple weeks ago. I have to return something else to Target tonight and I think I’m going to pick up yet a third pack of two, I like them so much.

      • Senior Attorney

        I love the Soma Vanishing Edge panties, too! It’s amazing but there is absolutely zero VPL even under my tight gym pants!

        I am going to have to check out the Target version next time I’m there.

      • Anonymous NYer

        Kohls has a version of these as well, that I’m wearing right now. For the life of me I cannot remember the brand – Bali maybe? I had to search for non-brief styles (they were huge and I swear went up to my belly button) but I found a few ‘hipser’ and ‘bikini’ style. I was looking for no VPL and non-cotton however, because cotton underwear clings too much to dresses and skirts of certain materials (jersey, silky, etc) and doesn’t look good, so these are a silkier fabric. Like them a lot so far though.

    • anonythis

      Buying a thong one size up has made them bearable, and also buying ones with lace bands makes it so they don’t dig into your hips – Target has great ones made by Gillian & O’Malley – I am obsessed. I also hear good things about Hanky Panky, but for $20+ each, I say start with the Target ones to see if they work for you.

      But, my new favorite non-thong is from Target/Gillian & O’Malley as well – it’s a brief with plastic in the leg holes. Wait – that sounds gross. It’s like the kind of rubbery stuff that holds up a strapless bra – it’s very thin, so it can’t be seen, and it stays in place.

    • Midwest

      I LOVE the Warner’s lace trim bikinis. Comfy, and mostly invisible. K.o.h.l.’s and J C Penney’s run sales on them all the time. I seriously want to replace all my underroos with these. For the record, though, I’d rather have VPL than wear a thong. I don’t care what anyone says, they are torture devices for me, no matter what brand I’ve tried.

    • DC Jenny

      Commando underwear with the laser cut edges. They are expensive, but absolutely invisible, even under fairly sheer, white linen pants.

    • Godzilla

      Dude, get a slip. Slips are magical creations that help against unlined dresses sticking to your body AND combat vpl. And for the boyshorts – I always make sure to look at the cr*tch. If the seam goes all the way through and they try to cover it up with an extra layer for “comfort” – STAY AWAY FROM THOSE. Pardon my french but lazy underoo construction that lead to cameltoes and wedgies are the BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. Look for boyshorts that have no seams running from the front to the back.

      • Merabella

        Second on the love for slips. I always thought that they were old lady because my mom swore by them, but seriously they are amazing. I wear them with all my unlined dresses and they are a Godsend.

        Also great tip about the boyshorts. I will have to add this to my checklist.

    • Anonymous Poser

      Soma Intimates’ vanishing edge line of underwear works for me, and is available in different cuts (bikini, brief, etc.). I think there are other companies coming out with similar products, as well, realizing that not all women want to wear a thong. :)

    • Bluejay

      Gilligan and O’Malley makes some really nice no-show bikinis, available at Target. The fabric is a bit weird/synthetic; maxipads won’t stick to it. But that’s my only complaint and I don’t mind that I can’t wear them for five days a month.

        • Bluejay

          Interesting. Stayfree maxis and Carefree liners (same manufacturer, I think) do not. I’ll try Kotex.

  20. Houda

    Vent
    Global company announced a large layoff wave: In my local office every week 2 or more people are either asked to leave or made to leave.
    The hallway gossip and suspicion are suffocating. Many people simply stopped working and are just showing up to the office.
    The company offices were on 3 floors and now we reassigned empty desks and had to let go of one floor. That visualization of the size of layoffs is scary.
    My department was just dissolved and I remain the only person in that function. I can’t do the job alone so I’ll have to find contractors and train them and then find outsourcing companies so that eventually my function becomes standalone and I am no longer needed.

    Been scouring offers and nothing is even close to what I currently do.
    I am frustrated because I work in a niche domain that is not needed elsewhere and I am not even sure I want to continue my career in it.
    I had started on a nice generic assignment, how did I not see myself slip into such a niche assignment.

    As I try to re-write my resume, I realize I want to work in Corporate Affairs and Public Relations because it’s a function I relate with.
    Thinking I might have to go to school for a couple years to enable this career path change is disheartening.
    I have gotten used to having an income and do have financial commitments. Going back to a student budget in a foreign country is scary.

    I’ll just have to take a deep breath and come up with a strategy to find another job or a scholarship for another masters.
    Any tips on surviving the next months while I see all of my friends/colleagues fall one after the other and waiting my turn?
    I have become very irritated and tend to snap at things that I used to tolerate.

    • Sydney Bristow

      Yikes, that sounds awful! It sounds like you are doing the right things like looking for other positions, thinking about what you really want to do, etc.

      Im not sure what exactly you do, but if you have to train contractors and find outsourcing, then those are skills that can translate broadly even if your typical work is very niche. Are ther ongoing PR issues with the company right now? If so, maybe you can get involved in some way to boost your experience there.

      I don’t think showing up to work and not doing anything is the right thing to do for your coworkers because that would probably just drive someone more crazy and seems like it would move them to the front of the layoff line.

    • Divaliscious11

      Houda –

      Now is time for some active career management. You know what you are interested in doing. Are there skills you can develop in your new area of interest while continuing to do your existing job? If you have control over the outsourcing, manage the work load in a way that builds skills you don’t have or that you need to transfer to the new area. Or you may have to do a 2 step transition. Is there a role that you can take that will prepare you to transition. Even the most niche roles have skill set transferability. Focus on determining what they are and look for jobs that need those skills. Good luck!

      As for surviving while people are being laid off etc… That is tough… try to be supportive, but don’t get sucked into their resentment, which while absolutely normal, will be counter-productive. You now have 2 jobs, the one you do for money and they one you do to find your next job…..

      • Anon

        I second divaliscious11’s great advice.

        Your resume should already be in good shape since you’ve gone on a few interviews recently. Take a critical look at it and see what skills/experiences you’d need to add to it in order to make yourself competitive for the new jobs you’d like to have. Then see how you can acquire as many of those skills/as much of that experience as possible in your current role.

        I also think that, just in case, it would be a good idea to tighten up on your budget in case of a rainy day. Nothing too extreme. If you typically eat at a restaurant 5 times a month, reduce it to 4. Instead of buying a new dress every month to build your wardrobe, try every other month instead (or wait for les soldes).

        And vent whenever you need to!

    • a lawyer

      Is working for one of the contractors you train an alternative? I know government employees do this when they retire, often with pretty good financial benefits.

    • Gem

      Could you be the contractor?

      PR – I’d start writing a blog and/or tweeting. It won’t get you a job but it will give you something to discuss.

  21. new york associate

    Kat, you recommended Birkenstocks recently and I did, in fact, call you crazy. (At least silently.) But since that moment, I have been scoping out people’s shoes on the subway and you are correct: Every woman in New York is wearing metallic Birks this summer instead of flip-flops. I stand corrected. Forgive me, c*rp*rette; I’ll never doubt again.

    • Godzilla

      I saw the sandals Kat featured on the weekend thread in person the other day when commuting and I thought to myself, “Kat knows. She really, really knows.” Secret C*^&%tte moment =).

  22. Tired Squared

    I just found out that a friend of mine died quite suddenly–it happened late last night, but I just got the phone call. All of the other attorneys are out of the office at the moment, so I can’t just leave. Any suggestions on how to handle being very sad while also keeping my game face on for the rest of the day?

    I also seem to be developing a sadness/stress-related pimple right between my eyebrows. Suggestions on how to nip that in the bud would be good too.

    • TCFKAG

      Oh dear. I’m so sorry. Can you call a mutual friend who also knew them and talk it out a bit with your office door closed.

      Also, as for the pimple, I would (a) not really worry about it and (b) go in the bathroom and get an extremely hot compress to put on it so that it comes to a head, which will speed its going away. But seriously, don’t worry about the pimple today — kind of the least of your concerns.

    • eek

      Keep yourself busy whether it’s reaching out to other people (if you can keep on your game face) or whatever you become easily engaged in (webinar/hulu/youtube/talk radio). If you can leave the office get a manicure/ice cream/frozen drink over lunch. As for the other issue, a few people here have posted that taking Aleve helps. I seem to remember it was Aleve + something else, but I can’t remember. I’m sorry about your friend.

    • SugarMag

      I am so sorry for your loss. Definitely keep yourself over-occupied the rest of the day. I would most certainly make sure that you avoid thinking about your friend by staying super busy. I am the type who would cry a lot upon thinking about it too much, but YMMV.

    • CSF

      I’m sorry for your loss, and also that you can’t deal with it properly while you are in the office. A dissolved aspirin will keep the pimple at bay, or toothpaste (if you have the ability to shut your door).

    • Merabella

      I’m so sorry. Internet hugs. Keep yourself scheduled, but take a moment to get out of the office for a minute – get an overly fatty iced beverage and sit for a moment and let yourself be sad.

      For the pimple get some ice on that bad boy. It will reduce swelling and make this sweltering hot day more bearable.

    • Jules

      I’m so sorry. If you want to just not think about it to get through the day, the other suggestions are great. If you want to spend some time thinking about your friend you might start writing a short memorial — either to post in the online guest book of a funeral home or the newspaper obituary pages, and on facebook if that’s applicable, or just to share with friends. Many years ago a much-loved senior partner here died after a short bout with cancer and we were devastated. I wrote the notice that we sent to clients and friends that day and it helped to be able to think and write about how great he was.

  23. Susan

    Another pet peeve — annoying ringtones, although…
    [Random (BBC) Sherlock threadjack:]

    DH and I just watched “A Scandal in Belgravia” and met the incomparable Irene Adler. I really love the way the writers have brought Holmes & Watson to the 21st century and managed to preserve the right tone in the relationship between Holmes & Watson, and Holmes & the rest of the world. I think what works is that London is the constant– it’s still a bustling metropolis, with all of its attendant benefits and woes– great transportation, nooks & crannies, homeless people/street urchins network, high population density, and a high concentration of interesting crimes.

    Anyways, we were cracking up at the …um…ringtone Irene Adler set on Sherlock’s phone for whenever she texted him.

    If I were to set up an inappropriate ringtone, I think I’d use the sound of my growling stomach. It’s very loud, and I’m hungry all the time, so it’d fit!

    • Niktaw

      If you wanted to do me in, you’d use a loud yawning sound.
      Or Godzilla’s aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.

      • Godzilla

        I like the way you think. I may just set my text message alerts to ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

    • Anon

      On that note, where is Season 2 of Sherlock available? Netflix instant streaming only had Season 1, and Hulu has nothing.

        • BMBG

          They stopped streaming it in the US just last night. Sorry! It is available in iTunes, which is how I watched.

          I also thought the ringtone was hysterical.

  24. Lawyer

    Question for other lawyers or negotiators out there: How do you handle negotiations of legal issues when you genuinely believe that the person on the other side does not understand the issue?

    I’m doing a number of small agreements right now where I’ve made a change and the change itself is not commented on, or the negotiator on the other side has agreed with me and accepted the change when speaking with me, but then the draft comes back with the change deleted and a nonsubstantive or unrelated comment, i.e. “a warranty should go in the warranty section” when we’re dealing with the indemnity section.

    I understand that some companies purposely delegate their lower-dollar-value contracts to paralegals and contracts negotiators (i.e. non-lawyers) and only let those people make certain preapproved changes. But the net result is me banging my head against the wall.

    • anon

      I’ve had this problem in the litigation realm (I practice in a specialized area and usually run up against the same lawyers over and over) and it too drives me batty (usually when trying to negotiate settlement or avoid discovery motion practice) when the attorney I am opposing simply does not understand the area of law. I am only a 6th year, so I haven’t figured out yet how to deal effectively, except to keep banging my head against the wall.

    • Divaliscious11

      Do you know if you are negotiating with a paralegal? I have run into this and been told only X hours of lawyer time are allocated to this deal blah blah blah, but you have to put your foot down. I also hate when I am negotiating against lawyers/paralegals who clearly don’t under the business and insist on provisions that aren’t relevant or don’t apply in the context of the business relationship, but they insist upon because “all _____ contracts should have this…”
      So first ask who you are dealing with…. push for a lawyer with decision making authority, particularly in areas of indemnity….

    • CA Atty

      I don’t have any advice, just commiseration. I regularly negotiate against non-attorneys and it drives me NUTS when I have to get into an issue, research it, show them they are wrong. And they still insist they’re right. I seriously told one she needed to contact her “home office” because she kept saying “that’s not what home office told me” I finally said, well, call them again and talk to an attorney who knows what they’re doing then!”

    • anon

      Try to explain it, in detail, educate the other side. If they won’t budge, decide if it’s a deal breaker, if so, tell them, and at that point usually they will get someone else involved, hopefully someone with some sense.

    • Godzilla

      Hey, that’s awesome. Are 6-week old kittens able to climb out of their box? Cuz chasing it around the office sounds like a fun Wed to me.

    • OP Anonymous

      So much fun! They cannot climb out of their box…but if you put them on the desk, they will inspect your files and drafts of opinions with tiny kitty paws.

      Having a kitten in the office = least stressful day ever.

      • C

        I love it when they are full and sleeping and you can see their round kitty belly. Awesome! I’m so jealous!

    • Anon Analyst

      That’s a good way to spend the day! We just rescued a 6-8 month old kitty we found outside my sister-in-law’s house. I hope this little one finds a good home!

  26. January

    A good friend of mine, who has Crohn’s disease, just told me (via e-mail) that she will be having surgery next week to correct an issue. She has been hospitalized twice this spring for an obstruction and the doctors have concluded that surgery is necessary. Anyone have any experience with this? What should I do? Unfortunately, I will be leaving town to attend a family member’s wedding the day after my friend’s surgery, so it doesn’t look like I’ll be able to visit her in the hospital. :(

    • Godzilla

      I have no familiarity with Crohn’s but maybe you can find out what she likes/is able to eat and bring it over when she’s recovering at home? She’s going to be really out of it at the hospital anyway. It’s recovering at home that’s really tough. Or maybe dvds/books/magazines that can keep her entertained?

      • TCFKAG

        This is good advice, but remember that what she likes to eat is not necessarily what she is going to be ABLE to eat for the first few weeks after surgery. In all likelihood her doctors will recommend what they call the low-residue diet, which if you google it you will see is both miserable and boring.

        So if you were to bring over a fun, interesting recipe a week or so after surgery that is low residue and easy to digest (and perhaps something that will reheat well for a few meals) she’d probably love you forever. Also, she’ll probably have trouble moving around, so just having someone hang out for a day and fetch her things is always nice.

    • TCFKAG

      OMG…have I ever. And so have several of the lovely other readers of this lovely blog who have a mailing list. If you e-mail Blonde Lawyer at mundaneart [at] gmail [dot] org we can all go into more depth.

      But from what it sounds like she’s probably having some resections of bowel to remove scar tissue. This is generally not major surgery, especially if they can do it laproscopically, which most major hospitals can. But for the first few days she’ll be totally out of it and doing stuff around the house will be a real pain. So I’m sure she’d love a visit and maybe some help with cleaning up, cooking some easy to digest meals (think mashed potatoes or soup). That sort of thing. Also, when I’m in the hospital, all I can do is watch tv and read the most inane things ever, like Lucky magazine or something, so if you want to bring her a gifts, those are good. Also — I really like the airplane neck pillows because the pillows in the hospital are awful…truly awful. That and earplugs if the hospital doesn’t provide them.

      • Godzilla

        I feel better reading this because the first thing that popped into my head was mashed potatoes and soup. Ultimate comfort sick people food.

  27. Research, Not Law

    Hectic morning = white skirt with hot pink underwear

    Doing my best to stay in my chair all day.

  28. anon

    Today I am wearing a button down short sleeve shirt (short sleeves are appropriate for my office). I bought it in two colors after I tried on one in the store, and the shirt I’m wearing today is the same size as the shirt I tried on, but the sleeves are too tight on my upper arms, cutting off circulation and making me very uncomfortable. ugh. fail.

    • Godzilla

      I always try on things in multiple colors because I don’t trust the fabric content and give will be the same. Beyond that, when they cut fabric to make clothes, they layer 6-7 layers of fabric all at once to cut down on production time, resulting in clothes with the same size tag but measurements that can vary by up to an inch.

  29. Dating Question

    I went on a fun date last Thursday with a guy who isn’t my usual type. I’m a law student, and he’s a freelance photographer/bartender who is much more free spirited than me. Anyway, he was going to take me sailboating last night for a second date. Then the weather forecast was storms, so we decided to just do something else. When he called me to plan it, everything was fine, he just had edit some photos, but then 15 minutes later he texted me to ask if it would be ok to cancel tonight because the photos were going to take much longer than he planned. Does this mean *he’s just not that into me*? He didn’t even say sorry or try to plan a new day. I was upset because I had arranged the rest of my schedule (workout and happpy hour after work) around this date. Should I just give up on him?

    • Godzilla

      No, it doesn’t mean that. His job includes editing photos, so it’s the equivalent of someone having to finish a draft in the office, etc. But if you don’t like him, JSFAMO. If you do, just wait and see.

    • TCFKAG

      No. If he blows you off, never reschedules, then yes. But sometimes things for work come up. Contact him tomorrow and see when he wants to reschedule.

      • Dating Question

        I will add more details. When I text him after my happy hour just to give him a better estimate of when to pick me up, he said he had just woken up. I think he had spent all night partying with friends who were in town and then slept away most of the day. It wasn’t like he had been working on his photos all day, and then it just ran through the night. I’m pretty sure he hadn’t done anything all day. He sounded tired and out of it when he called. I think I was just mad because I had been looking forward to this date all day, and then I realized he hadn’t given it any thought. I also had told my friends that I couldn’t go to our usual Tuesday night gathering because I had a date, and then it was super awkward when I showed up and had to explain. It also didn’t help that our gathering is at a bar that my “date” works for.

        • January

          Well… you don’t have to date him if you don’t want to. Perhaps you’d rather not date a bartender with questionable time-management skills, and if you don’t feel like pursuing this potential romance further, then, don’t. But as for whether or not he’s “that” into you… time will tell. Besides, the more important question for you is whether you’re “that” into him!

          (I’m not trying to be harsh — I’m quite the overthinker myself).

          • Dating Question

            That is a good point. I do like him. We had great conversation and a ton of chemistry. He’s also very attractive and taller than me (I’m just over 6 feet tall so this is hard to find). I would like to see him again if he feels the same way. I just don’t want to waste my time on someone who doesn’t really like me. I’m only 22 and don’t have trouble getting dates (the tall, super attractive ones are a little harder to come by), so I might just leave the ball in his court and see if he contacts me.

        • Godzilla

          Yeah……..you two only went out once? You’re maybe kinda sorta definitely overthinking this. Like January said, you don’t have to date him. Or, you don’t have to exclusively date him. Find more men. Date all the men. If that’s what you want. JSFAMO as necessary.

        • Bluejay

          It sounds like YOU’RE not that into HIM. This kind of behavior would get on my nerves, too. Nothing wrong with sleeping all day and being flaky, but I couldn’t deal with it in a boyfriend.

        • CA Atty

          Ugh, he sounds like my brother (minus the bartending, so not really him).

          I still say give him a one-time pass if you’re into him, but I’m kinda with January on this, you have to decide if you’re into him too and it’s not sounding like you are. People can make mistakes and I remember once I was really hung over on a day I had committed to go on a date with a guy I kinda liked but didn’t know if the spark was there. I went anyway because I didn’t think he’d give me another chance, and it was fun (once I got over the fearing I was going to puke thing) but I really wish I had cancelled and arranged another day. He and I are still friends, but we only ever had the one date.

          This is _super_ presumptuous but I remember law school so please take it in the spirit it’s meant, I do advise you not to sleep with him for awhile as he sounds like a prime candidate for a FWB situation that you don’t realize is a FWB situation until you’re at the bar where he works one night and someone points out his “real” girlfriend. Not that that happened to me. And my friend.

          • Dating Question

            haha! thanks for the FWB warning. Also, thanks to everyone who’s told me I’m over analyzing. I know. I think I need a quick slap in the face and someone to say, “Stop it!”

    • CA Atty

      I agree with Godzilla, I mean, I wouldn’t be thinking this guy is the father of your kids at this point, but it seems the original date was already cancelled due to the weather and he had other stuff to do that he would have postponed for original date, but realized if he gets it done now then when the weather is good he’ll be able to take you sailing then!

      I’d give him another chance (a whole nother chance), sometimes plans just don’t work out.

      It does suck that you had arranged the rest of your schedule around the date, and that’s a legit gripe, but in the grand scheme of things it’s pretty minor.

      • Anonymous

        If he can’t get his life together for the second date because he was partying and didn’t manage to work enough so that he could see you as planned I don’t see this going well. Generally in the begining many, if not most, guys are on their best behavoir. AVOID.

  30. dentist

    Hello! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this
    site? I’m getting tired of WordPress because I’ve had issues with hackers and I’m looking at options for another platform. I would be awesome if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

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