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I've seen a ton of social media ads for the flats from The Office of Angela Scott, which seem like a great option in the “comfortable flats that aren't ballet flats” category. Still, the shoes are pricey ($450+!), so I was excited to see that Nordstrom carries them, to get the benefit of Nordstrom's excellent return policy as well as the plethora of Nordstrom reviews.
The pictured oxfords feature “wingtip brogue styling” and look like they'd be a nice personality shoe to add to any numbers of outfits. They're $550, available in sizes 6-13.
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Sales of note for 9.16.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 30% off wear-now styles
- J.Crew Factory – (ends 9/16 PM): 40% off everything + extra 70% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Extra 25% off all tops + markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
Sales of note for 9.16.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 30% off wear-now styles
- J.Crew Factory – (ends 9/16 PM): 40% off everything + extra 70% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Extra 25% off all tops + markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
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anon
Where do you ladies buy vitamins, these days? I need methyl-B12 that I can’t find locally, and I don’t want to buy it from Amazom with all the sketchy comingling. Thanks!
Anon
Vitacost
Anonymous
+1
Anonymous
Costco! Online and in person
Alice walks
+1
Always Costco.
Recommended by my Docs.
Gen+X'er
Professional Supplement Center https://www.professionalsupplementcenter.com/. I’ve used them for a few years now & they’re very good. I use VitaCost for a lot of food items but haven’t tried them for vitamins.
sauna
I mentioned to a work friend I have a membership for a gym that includes unlimited visits to the infared sauna and he wants to go with me. This is the kind of thing you sit in a bathing robe/swim suit for. Now is this weird or not weird? It would just be the two of us. We work in association but not at the same firm and we do a lot of pro bono/volunteering together. He’s more my friend than my husbands friend though we regularly have him and his partner (when she’s around) over for dinner.
His girlfriend is long distance and I’m married. My husband doesn’t care, I dunno what his girlfriend knows.
Anon
I would not do this unless his girlfriend or your husband came along. Dinner, drinks, movie with a male friend? Totally cool. Sauna? No.
Anonymous
I would only do this as a double date scenario when girlfriend is in town next.
Anonie
Oh goodness! That would be a huge nope for me!
Anonymous
A sauna seems like a delightful COVID petri dish anyway
sauna
That’s a good excuse for me to say no. I will do that thanks.
Anonymous
Are saunas even open anywhere? They are closed in my state.
Anonymous
In Canada. We have no cases in my city though it’s always good to be careful.
Anon
In Canada. We have no cases in my city though it’s always good to be careful.
sauna
LOL that was my main misgiving.. I have put on a covid15 and haven’t bothered to get a pedicure in months…
Anon
In gonna disagree with many of the others. It is possible to have real friends of the opposite sex. You can be in your swimsuit around friends of both sexes. Your husband doesn’t care, you and your friend know nothing is going on, and it’s not up to you to check with his girlfriend. The puritanical streak in some of these responses astounds me. You know in Finland they do this naked, right? Not everything has to be sexual.
Anonie
These are just “normal” friends of the opposite sex though (although I still wouldn’t do a one-on-one sauna hangout unless both parties were single)…These are COWORKERS.
Anonymous
No direct experience with Finland but I have lived in other countries with co-ed naked sauna cultures. It would be unusual to have a co-ed co-worker sauna session one on one. Group co-ed scenario – totally common amongst co-workers but it’s the one on one aspect that makes it more date like and uncommon.
Anon
I have really close platonic friends of the opposite sex (several of whom I made out with many moons ago but were totally just friends now, several of whom I have never made out with). I totally think Harry was wrong when he thought that men and women can’t be platonic friends.
That being said – my hesitation is my that he’s a friend who is also a coworker, not that he’s a friend who is also a man. I have a lot of friends at work, but I’m still pretty protective of my personal life when it comes to coworkers. Most of my work friends are just that – work friends though a few are friends who happen to also be coworkers. I keep a very strong line between my work life and my personal life and I don’t need to go in a sauna in a bathing suit with my coworkers – male or female.
Vicky Austin
Eh, I lived in Sweden for a time and happily sauna’ed naked there with friends of both sexes, but wouldn’t do this with just any old American friend, and certainly not a coworker.
sauna
I know. I felt super weird about saying no so I said yes in the moment lol.
We have this guy over for dinner regularly (less regularly than before covid) and I had a trial with him last week. He’s a good dude.
I would also totally sauna with a chick friend.
I feel like people in this community are weird and if word spread it would grow out of proportion. And I don’t want to freak his girlfriend out though tbh she would probably be happy we aren’t out drinking or something (she’s wanting him to cut alcohol and red meat etc).
I might just outright tell him I feel fat so it’s a no lol. Which is true!
Anonie
I wouldn’t use that excuse because it sends the (unintended) message that you care what he thinks about your swimsuit body. It also sets him up to feel like he needs to compliment your figure.
I am probably leaping and it’s possible none of that would happen, but I would stick to the Covid excuse.
LaurenB
Agree. That’s just begging for a “oh, no, you’re not fat at all” and you just don’t need to go down that path with a male coworker.
Anon
Eh for me it’s more that he’s a coworker rather than that he’s a man. I have plenty of very close friends who are men. I just don’t need my coworkers to see me in a bathing suit!
Monte
So I think the weird part is that it is a “work friend” rather than just a male friend. I have partnered male friends with whom this would be not be an issue, but I am also in the “not seeing coworkers in bathing suits” camp. It isn’t the potential immodesty so much as the familiarity — I also don’t want to see them in workout gear as a general proposition. But it doesn’t matter whether it is objectively weird or not — you don’t have to go to the sauna with anyone you don’t want to.
Anonymous
Workout gear? Really?
Lots of people have gyms in their office buildings or even company gyms. And I want to encourage my co-workers to work out. It is good for morale and work/life balance. So I actually used to work out with our (male) law clerk because we spent a lot of time talking about our very different workout regimens and decided we could teach each other something. It wasn’t weird at all from my perspective.
anon
I wouldn’t be comfortable with it, but if you are then I say go for it. It’s not up to you to ensure he has communicated appropriately with his girlfriend.
Ellen
Nyet! Dad says this is an old trick he used overseas when he wanted quick and easy access to a woman. They are already near nude, they get hot and sweaty, and of course, they are interested in showering immediately. The guy just joins her in the shower, and poof, before you know it, his hands (and weenie) is where they do not belong. PTOOEY on that!
anon
Honestly it’s how comfortable YOU and your husband are regarding this. I think it’s weird but that’s just me personally. I wouldn’t stop other people from doing it it’s not weird for them.
Anom
Love these! It’s pretty much what I’d like to wear when I finally go back to office. Whenever that is… I just cannot imagine going back to wearing heels all day.
Anon
How would one style these? I would go for something like this in all black, but not sure how. Can I wear them with slim pants? Where would the hem need to fall?
pugsnbourbon
I think ankle-length, tapered pants. The shoes are the star so I’d keep the rest of my outfit pretty sleek.
I’d wear them with black or grey, but I think they’d also look great with navy, burgundy, or blush pink.
Anon
I love them too! Not exactly sure how I’d style them – probably black or grey tones
BB
Ditto! Really glad to hear about this brand! It is SO HARD to find shoes of the same construction quality as high-end mens shoes but for women! I have usually gone to Crockett and Jones so far, but their selection is limited. Carmina out of Spain also has some great shoes, but their sizes skew small (like it was difficult for me to find a size 9.5 in stock). Will totally be keeping tabs of this brand in the future!
Anon
I haven’t bought any but my friends who have LOVE them.
Senior Attorney
I love these shoes so much but so far the price has held me back. One of these days, though…
Anonymous
I just bought some shoes from this brand and they arrived yesterday. They are very nice and, as noted, seem built-to-last like men’s shoes. I am still a bit on the fence as to whether I will keep them, as they are a true investment, but I think what I bought is enough of a combination of both classic and standout that they will justify the price.
College Friends
Somewhat inspired by the “making friends as an adult” post, I’m curious – how many of you are still close to your College friends? I’m only in my late 20s, and most of my current friends are still close to their college friends, but I recently realized that I haven’t spoken to most of mine in months – we’re just not that close anymore.
I went to a major state school down south and live in a major east coast city now, and through a combination of different life timelines and locations, we’re just in different places (and not likely to be in the same life stage anytime soon). I talk to some occasionally, but I can’t tell if I’m weird or not?
InHouse Anon
Small D1 southern school, and I’m very close with a group of college friends who were on my sports team. We’re in our late 30s now and live all over the country, but (when travel is possible) see each other in person once or twice a year. We also maintain an active group chat. In contrast, I don’t keep in touch with any high school friends, which I feel kind of sad about but apparently not enough to make an effort to reconnect.
Anonymous
I moved back to my hometown and have reconnected with high school friends (most of while also went away for college). Mostly keep up with college friends via social media.
Anon
I’m not. I didn’t have the easiest time making friends in college to begin with. I’m still very close with a group of friends I made right after graduating, though.
Vicky Austin
Same – I only made a few friends in college. One of them is my husband.
anonnnn
I occaisionally talk to my college best friend, everyone else I have lost touch with.
Anon
still talk to many of my college friends (mid 30s), though I don’t live near any of them. i have one parent who wasn’t in touch with any college friends and another who this spring will celebrate his 50th reunion and still talks to many many college friends (and is lucky enough to live in the same city as many of them). DH and i met in college and he is tighter with his HS friends, but is still in touch with a handful of different college friends. i think just everyone is different. some people are better at keeping in touch via distance and some aren’t
Cat
Not me. Most of mine moved to NYC or DC while I didn’t, and as a result of them doing the “young in the city and partying” (not judging, just different!) thing while I was in law school, the shared-experience-bonding didn’t last. We are in touch generally through fb & insta, but not “call you up and chat” friends.
Carrots
Only one really, but she and I lived together for a bunch of years after college, so I think it helped to transition us from college friends to adult friends. I still talk occasionally to some college friends, but not super close.
Anon
Facebook friends. We see each other very occasionally – we did more often when everyone was getting married but now people are getting divorced. (Not all, but many.) I think we all consider each other good friends but we love all over the place now and even pre covid it wasn’t easy to get together.
Anon
My college friends get holidays cards, birthday e-mails, and maybe one visit a year if we’re traveling in the right direction. I tend to lose “situational” friendships (school, work, hobby) by being childfree. I have to seek out other non-parents to befriend.
Anonymous
I feel that working moms are the most time-starved, but also most likely to be your friend b/c they get the “woman working” thing that probably consumes their days. I really wish I had more SAHM friends, but I feel that with working, I am more likely to encounter and form friendships with other working women, regardless of parent status. [I wish I knew more SAHMs better b/c some are mothers of my kids’ peers in school, are helpful in navigating kid / school things, and often don’t include kids in activities if they don’t know the mom. Not in a mean or purposeful way but that is just how things seem to happen.]
The original Scarlett
Still tight, we have a weekly zoom call these days and our husbands are all friends too (25+ years later)
Anon
If I’m wearing these, it’s because I lost a bet.
Anon
Partial vent – partial real question. There are certain in-house counsel jobs that I’ve seen advertised off and on for over a year that seem never to be filled. These are not jobs in huge departments where you would expect regular turnover but rather SME positions in departments of less than 20 lawyers.
I’ve applied to some of these, usually spending an hour or two in the process. It is so frustrating not to even get any response other than a generic acknowledgement of receipt and then see the same job advertised again weeks or months later. Even if I am not the right candidate for the position, it’s hard to believe that in my very large and competitive metro area the employer cannot find someone good.
Do companies advertise jobs that they are not committed to filling? If so, how do I spot them and not waste my time?
Anon
Yeah, some probably do. Or they want to hire and then something happens and they can’t. Or they have weird requirements that jobs be posted even if they know they’re going to hire an internal candidate. Or they have automated job screening systems and your applications aren’t meeting their criteria. Or it’s just a string of bad luck.
Anon
I know in my field, a few companies have “pipeline” postings to keep the resumes flowing in, even when there aren’t specific openings. Maybe the legal field is different, but recruiters, while sometimes shady and annoying, are often a good source of what openings are real and what aren’t.
Anonymous
If you are open to a suggestion, your efforts might be more successful if you could identify a person or two within the target company to network with. Even in the age of automation, people can “pull” resumes back into consideration. If you can humanize the experience, it should work to your advantage. Your frustration is valid–now outsmart the system!
Anon
Any recommendations for where to buy porcelain tile? Looking to redo my kitchen floor
Lobby-est
Ask your contractor/tile person. We went to a small local store that had beautiful options and spoke with a person who had actually used that tile in a reno.
anonamouse
Bedrosians is a very popular brand, I’ve used and been impressed with their offerings. If there’s not a showroom near you, shipping costs can get exorbitant, but in that situation I’ve had success searching for the exact tile I want on Go*ogle Shopping, and ordering through another retailer with free shipping.
Elderlyunicorn
Someone on here recently posted some tile they were considering and I book marked the site for future use: https://www.tilebar.com/
Flats Only
I have a couple of pairs of wingtip brogues like this (including a silver pair), and wore them with ankle pants like in the picture. They were comfortable, warmer than regular flats, and I got a ton of compliments on them, especially from men. (Not that I was angling for compliments from men, and I don’t dress “for the male gaze” at work, but men in elevators, clients I was greeting, etc. would invariably compliment these shoes.) So yes, if I had $450 to drop I would get a pair of these.
Anonymous
This brand is stalking me online as well. If I were still going into the office these days I would be seriously tempted.
Beth
I bought a pair. They are VERY heavy. I love the look but i don’t know I want to wear that much weight on my feet all day.
Anon
These look a little too costume-y for my taste.
Forgive me, but this is a basic thing that I’ve always just been really bad at. Over the past year or so, we’ve been very friendly with some neighbors. Our kids play together almost incessantly, and we’ve visited with them casually a lot as well, mostly when the kids are playing. I like them a lot and we get along great. The husband recently lost his job due to Covid, and I know the wife is really stressed out about this. She’s working a lot extra, he’s down about it, all the obvious responses. FWIW, she has a fairly lucrative job (probably makes near what our household does, though I’m sure we have lower expenses for various reasons), but he was still the main breadwinner, and his niche job won’t be easy to replace. She communicates with my husband more often because of the kids (he’s home during the day, I’m not), and has been laying it out on him (which is fine; he’s sympathetic).
Anyway, I’d like to reach out to her, let her know I care and be a good friend, but I’m just not sure how/what to say. We’ve not had a “just call you up/text to say hi” sort of relationship (and I’ve just never been great at those, but would really like to be better). For someone who’s just, weirdly socially impaired on things like this, how do people do this sort of thing?
Anonymous
Spend more time out in the yard so you will run into her by chance.
Vicky Austin
I think it’s great that you’re asking how to do this, not whether to. “When in doubt, always do the positive” is a guiding light of mine.
I would say something like, “Hey Sally, I was sorry to hear Bob lost his job. I’m sure that puts plenty extra stress and pressure on you, and I’d be happy to lend you a listening ear/have a distanced glass of wine/keep an eye on the kids in the yard while you get an hour to yourself. We’re glad to have you as neighbors.”
Anon
+1 to always doing the kind thing.
Reach out and offer to do a socially distanced backyard happy hour
Anon
Could you text her and say something like, “jeez, these COVID times are super stressful. Any interest in an outdoor glass of wine/martini/coffee/whatever on Thursday post bedtime?” Then you can meet up, which might be nice or at least she knows you are reaching out to her. I find that easier than trying to have a meaningful conversation via text.
Anon
My husband works long days (10-12 hours) at his insanely stressful in-person job. My job is a breeze and remote work has become permanent for me.
In Before Times, we alternated which of us cooked, and whoever didn’t cook did dishes. The house rule had always been that if you cook, you don’t clean. With the shift to permanent remote work for me and him having a tough day job, I’ve been cooking dinner every night for…months. He does the dishes maybe 40% of the time – the rest he’s just burned out at the end of the day. Am I wrong to still expect him to do the dishes? No other issues – he’s a fantastic husband. We have a weekly housekeeper and a DIY laundry policy, so this is the only sticking point. Just wondering if I’m being petty. It just feels a bit unfair to come in and see a sink full of dishes many mornings.
Anonymous
Yes, sorry, if he’s working 12 hours at a stressful job and you are working 8 hours at an easy breezy job, you need to pick up more of the work around the house. The total work, not just the housework, is what gets divided evenly. When I was in law school, commuting 120 miles a day, working part-time, on law review, and nursing a baby, while my husband was just working 40-hour weeks with a short commute, he cooked dinner and did all the dishes. Now that we both work similar hours at home, we split the housework evenly.
No Face
This is my view as well. When my husband is very busy, I take on more home responsibilities. When I am very busy, my husband takes on more home responsibilities.
That said, it’s okay to give yourself a break. Use paper plates every once in a while.
Anon
I am in your husband’s role. My husband and I used to both have ~12 hour days and he always cooks and I always clean. I’ve recently been working consistently 15 hour days and it drives me absolutely mad that my husband can’t step up and do the dishes from time to time. I’ve started opting out of family dinners on days I’m super stressed because there is nothing I hate more than watching him go to bed at 10:30 when the kitchen is full of dirty dishes and I still have a few hours of work to go and then dishes to do after. There are many days I would rather just eat a PB&J than go through that. I don’t think there’s an easy answer – just different perspectives!
Go for it
I appreciate your feeling this to be unfair. I’m gathering that there are not kids… if there were kids too this would be over the top;, regardless, the resentful feelings are worth exploring before they get too big. What would make it better for you?
Ask DH to assist with a solution?
If you have a dishwasher he could load it? Unload it? Take out in the food budget?
Anonymous
What even? Her husband is the one who should feel resentful that she’s expecting him to do the dishes at all when he’s already working 50% longer and much harder than she is.
Senior Attorney
I tend to agree with this. Good grief count your blessings and do the dishes! (I think he gets mad credit for doing it 40% of the time!)
Go for it
Dear OP,
My intent wasn’t to say “oh you DH have to do this or that 50-50” at all
the idea was that it’s a resentment that is worth exploring, here or with DH because if not discussed it could fester
often times when one person has a heavy workload the other spouse picks up the slack, that’s just relationships and how it works
Perhaps what I’m really hearing is that you just want to be appreciated
Anon
I have a job like your husbands – in person, very very stressful, and 10-15 hour days, 6 days a week – when it’s busy.
I’m single so I’m stuck doing it all myself (so I eat a lot of takeout and lower my standards for cleaning/laundry etc) but all of my married coworkers say that their spouses pretty much do everything around the house when we’re busy- they cook, they clean up afterwards, they clean the house, they do laundry, etc. They (both husbands and wives, but especially wives) seem to do everything.
We make OT, so the extra money coming in during these busy times seems to balance out the ability to do things at home.
Anon
I’ve been your husband and if you said anything about this to me I’d be enraged. The man is working at least 10 hours more than you per week, at a stressful job, and commuting. During covid. The answer is not to tell him to do more dishes. It’s to order takeout one or two nights a week if you want a break.
Anon
Yes, I’ve been your husband and I’d be hurt and pretty upset if my spouse asked me to split household duties evenly when I’m working like crazy. I’d feel as though my spouse was not supporting me when I’m going through a stressful time.
Anon
+1 also your husband and would be enraged if he said anything to me on this. Order takeout, use paper plates, outsource more. Do not ask the person already putting in more hours/with less free time to do more.
Anon
I’ve got a job like your husbands and when I’m working my 80+ hour weeks at my stressful, in person job I’d absolutely expect my spouse to step up and do more than 50% of the housework.
I’m single right now, but I do think that relationships are partnerships and so when one person has a lot on their plate, the other person takes some of their load, even if it isn’t “fair”. There’ll come a day when you’re the one who is overburdened and you’ll want him to take some of your load.
My parents both lost their last living parent in the same year (about 6 months apart so they weren’t sick at the same time) and they did a really, really good job of supporting each other while they both worked, grieved, managed the household stuff, and dealt with another unrelated stressful family issue.
Equestrian Attorney
I’m in a somewhat similar position except he doesn’t cook. As in, the man cannot boil an egg. So either I cook, we get takeout, or he makes us a grilled cheese. Long story short, I cook 90% of the time. He usually does the dishes but sometimes he’s wiped and I end up doing them in the morning. It’s a minor source of frustration, so I’ve tried to be more vocal with the “hey, can you help with cleanup? ». He is great in many other ways so it isn’t the hill I’ll die on, but I’m trying to speak up instead of letting resentment build up while keeping expectations reasonable after an intense 12 hour day.
Anon
When I was still WFH and my husband was commuting, I did pretty much all of the housework. When I get busy, he does that same for me. If you don’t want to cook or do dishes, I second the suggestions to get takeout or use paper plates occasionally.
Anonymous
yes wrong to expect . You should be doing the dishes and some of his laundry – he is working longer and harder ! Agree with the suggestion to do take out some nights to give your self a break
Anon
Unfair to ask him to do more right now.
Take out / frozen foods and a dishwasher / paper plates are your friends.
Anon
I think a big part of marriage is the ebb and flow and picking up the slack or taking on more when needed. In this case, I would continue to stick with the status quo, but with a time limit – when can you check in again to see if his job has slowed down? Are there other steps to reduce his stress? As long as this temporary solution doesn’t become a permanent one after COVID, I think you should just go with the flow and know that your husband would do the same for you.
anon
My husband and I split total amount of work. Here, that would mean that the person not working 10-12 hour days did the cooking and the dishes. Is your husband well compensated for that work? If so, I’d start ordering out more, or order prepped meals a few times a week. Either way, I’d find ways to reduce my overall work–sheet pan meals, one pot meals, meals you can freeze half of so you can skip cooking one night a week, prepared grocery store meals, etc.
Now, DH cooks, and I do the dishes. But last night, I was burned out from a hard day at work, and I was still tired this morning. I was super happy to go home at lunch and see that he did the dishes this morning.
Abby
I feel like the comments have been pretty thorough, but wanted to share that I’m in the same boat, only it’s always been like this in my relationship, and I will feel frustrated/petty once in a while. DH is still finishing residency, so also not well compensated at all for the time he puts in, and for a long time, didn’t give us the extra budget to just throw money at the problem. I leave many of the dishes from dinner to soak overnight if I’m going to handwash, and do them in the morning while listening to a conference call. Also, thanks to advice from here in the past, DH’s “chores” are more things that don’t need to be done immediately (mow the lawn sometime this next week) and I also have to tell myself to leave things that are his to do instead of doing it while feeling resentful.
NYNY
Agree with those who say division of labor is based on total work, and there’s an ebb & flow in a relationship, but I want to ask if you’ve spoken to him about it? Even if you decide to take on more, don’t let that be unspoken. Have a discussion, make the offer if you feel like it’s the right thing. It’s so important to be in the habit of negotiating these things with your partner to make sure you’re on the same page.
Anon
Has anyone quit eating sugar or enormously cut back? I noticed I feel weird — like anxious — not too long after eating anything sugar-y and would like to hugely cut back – I’m thinking dessert/sweets 2-3 times a week but no other sugar. Any tips? I’ve always had a sweet tooth so this seems really hard to me.
Anon
Yep, it’s totally a thing for some people. And it’s true that your sweet tooth will go away when you don’t indulge it.
Anon
It is hard at first, but once you do it you will stop craving sweets as often and be satisfied with much less.
I would never cut sugar entirely because I don’t want to live a life without dessert, but I try to have high-quality treats less often instead of whatever’s around every day.
Sweet Tooth
Yes, I have cut back and noticed huge improvements. Sugar does all kinds of things to our bodies, not to mention our mental health. It is also extremely addictive. I began cutting back last week as part of the Naturally Slim program (dumb name, but great intuitive eating program) which I get for free through my employer. I feel so much better already, even though it is hard for me to avoid sugar. Like you, I have a sweet tooth.
Anonymous
I used to drink an instant coffee from an Asian grocery store with added milk and sugar (it was the only kind they sold and I drank huge amounts of the stuff). I quit that and went to drinking black coffee with refillable kpods. Huge change for me. I would definitely recommend making the switch. Has been a good easy weight loss strategy and now even when the opportunity presents itself I don’t want sweet things.
Cheese though, if I could figure out a way to quit cheese. XD
Anon
Actually, I find that it’s hyper-focusing on the impact of sugar that makes me feel “off” after it. It’s like I expect to feel “worse” and then I find that I do. Other times, when I have a treat of some kind and then move on with my day, I don’t notice anything. However, if I go way overboard (like I did in Paris once where I got a huge slice of cake AND a specialty hot chocolate), then I feel wrecked. I don’t think that typical, reasonable portion sizes do that to most people and also sugar is not “addictive.” Habit-forming, yes, but addiction is a much more specific problem.
Anon
I quit completely, but I have reactive hypoglycemia, so it helped that eating sugar could land me in the hospital; i.e., I had no choice. I find I don’t miss it though? I figure I eat the way most people did until pretty recently in history? But I do go through phases of using stevia or monkfruit to sweeten things like smoothies, or buying Lilly’s chocolate, since I’m fortunate not to get hypoglycemia from fake sugar.
Anonymous
Yes. I live a nearly dessert-free life. I really only eat dessert under intense peer pressure when someone is going to get their feelings deeply hurt if I don’t (e.g., on my birthday when my mother has purchased a cake — my close friends/BF would never buy me a cake). My life is not sugar-free, though, because I drink alcohol, drink juice, and eat fruit. I also occasionally crave a real Coke (I don’t drink diet sodas at all), and give into that craving, maybe once every six weeks, mostly when I have a hangover. The thing that helped me to cut out sugar was eating dietician-prepared meals for diabetics for several weeks. I wasn’t diabetic or prediabetic, or looking to cut sugar, I just wanted prepared meals delivered to assist with weight loss, and the controlled blood sugar seemed to have a lasting effect.
Curious
Can you recommend a source for such meals?
Anon
I had to put my peanut brittle down to type this, so no.
Anonymous
I have been cutting back a bit at a time. I suggest buying treats that arrive in small prewrapped quantities, like Ghirardelli squares, and then tapering down your serving size. I also buy all fruit jams instead those made with sugar and have also been double checking my other food for random added sugar — I swapped for a different pasta sauce, etc. Just don’t get in the trap of buying Splenda instead.
all about eevee
Hey LaurenB – I think you should change your handle so that these anons who have a hate-on for you will stop following you around and move on.
Anon
As the former Pure Imagination, I think she should stick to her guns and keep her name. I see her example and wish I had kept mine! That being said, the criticisms of my posts nearly 100% stopped when I went Anon, suggesting that it wasn’t the content that was ever the problem. It’s not the problem with Lauren either.
Anonymous
FWIW, I don’t recall ever being offended by your posts as Pure Imagination, but I am often offended by LaurenB and have flagged some of her posts that have subsequently been removed (so it’s not just bad luck or something here).
Anonymous
Unfortunately, she hits the sane refrain over & over. Perhaps she should just stop insulting large swaths of people and remarking “what an unusual comment” with no further information to posts she finds puzzling even though other commenters are able to reply sensibly. Etc, etc.
Anon
Yep. As a well-educated professional woman living in a semi-rural part of the SEUS, I find most of her comments insulting and ignorant.
Anon
I go back and forth. I feel defensive because I live in the SEUS, but I also feel like it’s worse than people even realize.
Anon
Hard disagree. I live in the SEUS (moved here from the NE when I was a kid, but still pretty familiar with the NE), and I’m constantly amazed at how much better it is then my birth area.
Anonymous
She, liked all the names commenters, can just use an anon handle whenever they don’t want the attention. I’ve commented here for ten years and never used a name because of recurrent problems like this.
Anon
There are definitely one-off issues from time to time, but Lauren has at least one sustained, committed stalker and it’s not cool.
Anonymous
If we could block or ignore posters, I would have blocked Lauren long ago. Unfortunately, we cannot & I sometimes read her posts accidentally. I often ignore, but c’mon, we can’t let some of that pass as if it’s acceptable or encouraged. I can’t imagine she’s saying these things at parties … or I can imagine she is and not noticing that people walk away/avoid her.
Anon
Yeah I think it’s completely pathetic on the part of the stalker and I wish they would see that for themselves.
J
The Anon handles make it worse. People feel emboldened by the anonymity.
No Face
I just want everyone to know that I sang “What Did I Miss?” ala Thomas Jefferson in Hamilton when I went back to read the morning post to see what all the fuss was about. That is all.
Anon
Hahah you’re my kind of people.
Anon
What do you do with a landlord who won’t sign a lease?
My mom’s modest rental house in Florida was sold a week ago to an out-of-state couple who plan to move into it when they retire in 2 years, meaning they’ll be her landlords for the next two years. Mom’s been bugging them about a lease since their offer contract was signed and…apparently, they just don’t intend to sign a new lease? They sent her an email – which I guess in their minds counts as a contract? – saying “we read over the old lease and we’ll just keep everything the same. Thanks for taking such good care of the property – we’ll be down once or twice a year to check on the house – we’ll call first.”
I’m a never-practiced, JD preferred, “1L was a long time ago” kind of (non-)attorney, and I’ve been worried about this ever since they put an offer in and didn’t seem to have a plan for property management while they’re 1,200 miles away. Mom CC’d me on her reply to their email, and I chimed in, trying to keep it friendly, saying a contract was a necessity and recommending a few low-cost resources for landlords where they could get lease templates, etc. No response from them to my email or my mom’s email.
Obv, Mom has to pay rent at the end of the month. Where do we go from here? Mom wants to stay in this house and it’s her understanding that the couple wants her to remain a tenant. I’m really not itching to step too far into the middle of this.
Anonymous
what’s the residential tenancy law in your area? In my area, the lease continues in effect. They can give notice but they have to do it under the same terms as the old landlord.
Anon
What’s the actual issue? Once the current lease is up, it goes month to month until either of them gives notice to end it. They’re not raising the rent, so not renewing benefits your mom, not the new landlords.
Was there some specific thing she wanted put in a new lease?
I’m not a lawyer, but I am a landlord, and it’s almost always the tenants who want to go month-to-month at the end of a lease, not the landlord (and something I do if they are good tenants I want to keep around). They’re doing your mom a solid by not raising her rent or jerking her around.
Anonymous
Mom says “I’m not comfortable remaining without a lease.”
anon
It depends on state law, but in my state, the lease typically gets assigned to the new owners. They don’t need to sign a new lease if everyone is happy with the terms of the old lease. The email acknowledging/accepting the old lease probably does count as enough of a written agreement to prove that the new landlords have accepted assignment.
Worst case scenario, there’s an oral lease, which is still a lease with the default landlord/tenant laws in your state, which is good or bad depending on how friendly those laws are in your state. The biggest risk there is that the default notice provisions would apply, and they’re almost certainly shorter than the term of the lease, so the new landlords could theoretically give 10 days’ or 30 days’ or whatever notice (and vice versa), depending on applicable state law.
Assuming the landlords are deemed to have accepted assignment of the current lease, if that lease expires, it would more than likely roll to a month-to-month lease, with the same terms and conditions, except with a shorter notice period.
Basically, it’s probably fine. Your mom may have less certainty that she can stay until the end of the current term, but then, if these are absentee landlords, she may be glad if there’s an argument to get out of the lease earlier.
Anon
Not a FL lawyer but, generally speaking, a lease is an encumbrance on property, and a new owner of property takes the property subject to a pre-existing lease. Unless they want to change the terms, and it sounds like they don’t, then your mom would continue under the terms (rent, length of lease, etc.) of the existing lease. That being said, if you have any questions, this would be a question for a FL real estate attorney.
Cat
+1, we had this happen as renters, and didn’t sign anything new. We updated the “how to pay rent” section by email and because the closing was mid-month I think the buyers had to credit the seller for half a month’s rent (as we paid on the 1st in advance) but it didn’t affect us as tenants.
That said you should check with a FL real estate attorney. If nothing else you may want to walk back your earlier email, which makes it sound like your parents don’t want to honor the existing lease!
Anonymous
Continuing this morning’s discussion, y’all are dreaming if you think you can pick a representative in-person jury during a pandemic. This article quotes the real-deal experts on juries.
https://www.courthousenews.com/not-afraid-of-the-virus-and-reporting-for-jury-duty/
Anonymous
This article is from early July. Our state court started jury trials in August. The jurors have been a good cross section of our county — or at least as close as it was pre-pandemic. The court is doing a questionnaire to all potential jurors long before they are scheduled to appear to screen for COVID concerns, including online school, high risk person, high risk family members in the home, etc. A judge reviews and dismisses jurors when appropriate before the reporting date. The Court has taken many precautions and all juror comments have been positive. No issues so far. No COVID exposure for any juror, etc. I think anyone who has received a juror summons should contact the jury office to learn about what jury service looks like these days. Every court is different.
Anon
I’m happy to see this know it all (Anonymous at 4:23) get ignored like she deserves.
Anonymous
+1.
Thanks, it has pockets!
As a lover of vintage aesthetics, I love wingtip Oxfords, but these are way too flashy for the workplace. They’d be great for swing dancing though! Most lindy/balboa shoes for women are heels, so finding comfortable yet fancy flats is a challenge sometimes.
Speaking of shoes though! Someone posted back in, I don’t know, maybe February, about having an older man scold her for wearing leopard print pumps in the office, and I thought his comment was so ridiculous that I decided to someday get a pair of leopard print pumps – partially in solidarity, and also because I like to wear red and I’d realized that a little leopard would actually go nicely with some of my red wardrobe pieces. I finally ordered a pair, they’re cheapies from JustFab but maybe someday I’ll get a nicer version when I can justify spending “real” money on shoes again. Of course, my current job is 100% remote, so who honestly knows when I’ll get to wear them around other humans. Anyway, thought I’d mention, and I’m hoping someone else remembers that thread, it feels like a lifetime ago!
Anon
Oh I love your reasoning behind the shoes. And I love leopard. Excellent choice.
Anon
Oh god this is so stressful to watch.
LaurenB
Watched a few minutes at the very beginning and Trump was actually relatively calm. God I hope he doesn’t stay calm. I want him to melt down on camera, always.
Alice walks
totally