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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 161 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Catalina Wedge

Coffee Break

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Cole Haan Catalina WedgeOooh: I know we just did a round up of beige pumps, but these beige wedges are getting rave reviews on Zappos. I like the almond toe and the way they covered the heel with the patent leather as well (so many beige wedges resort to a wood or cork material)! They also come in black. They're available in sizes 5-11, narrow and medium, for $168. Cole Haan Catalina Wedge Psst: on the hunt for more comfortable heels? Check out our newly updated guide. (L-2)

Sales of note for 10.10.24

  • Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
  • Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
  • Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
  • Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
  • White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. ugh

    Just moved to Boston and the air here is just so dry (?! I think that’s the issue), making everything on my body feel so dry and staticky / me way more dehydrated. Not something I needed to have to deal with.

    • Mpls

      Yup, that’s dry air. It will get better when it warms up. Cold air just can’t hold very much moisture.

      Humidifier in the bedroom will help.

    • Anonymous

      Drink more water, and slightly more fats (like nuts and avocados), and I use coconut oil to moisturize before bed, it helps a lot with skin hydration

    • NYNY

      I put a mini-humidifier in my office this winter, which has helped immensely. Makes sense – I spend more time here than anywhere else!

  2. South Africa - travel advice?

    Hi all,

    My husband and I are about to go on a trip to South Africa in mid-April and thought I would poll the hive-mind for suggestions.

    We’re not going for very long — weekend to weekend, essentially. On the weekends, we’ll be staying with friends in Johannesburg and visiting. During the week, we want to go on excursions on our own, so we’ve got about 5 days to play with.

    In a perfect world, I’d like to try to see Capetown, a little bit of wine country, and some sort of safari/chance to see wild animals. I don’t think we can cram that all in.

    So, if you were in our shoes, would you:
    – Take a trip to Capetown and then travel out to the wine country, or
    – Do a 2-3 day safari and then do something else with the remaining weekdays — and what would that “something else” be?

    Capetown and the associated areas look amazing. However, we are originally from CA “wine country” so it is clearly more similar to destinations and experiences we have already had. Plus it seems like missing a major opportunity to not go on some kind of safari-type expedition.

    However, we’re not big camping/wilderness type people, so I think we’d be satisfied with a day trip to see some antelope and what all if that were an option. The question then is what to do with the rest of our time.

    Thoughts? Suggestions? Warnings?

    • Sue

      I have travelled quite abit in South Africa. I really like Cape Town and there’s quite a bit of stuff to do in the city and it’s outskirts. From your description, it sounds like you would be in Jo’burg area and could travel to Capetown in between? If you have never been on a safari, that can be quite an experience. If you want to do that plus fit in other activities, I would suggest finding a park where you can go on a game drive for one day i.e. spend the day and leave in the evening, or the next morning. Most have lodges/hotels close by. I don’t have suggestions for this particular option since the only park I went to was Kruger. If you do this you may be able to fit in other stuff. In the Jo’burg area I also highly recommend the Apartheid museum, worth seeing. Pretoria which is not too far from Joburg has some botanical gardens. If you want a mall fix, try the Menlyn Mall.

      In and around Cape Town: If you like nightlife, LongStreet is the place to be. There was a club called Hemisphere (located on the upper floors of a really tall building) where we had a blast! I’m assuming you might have gone to an aquarium before but if you haven’t the 2 Oceans aquarium is really great, nice for an afternoon. Kirstenbosch, the botanical gardens are nice for just walking around, saw some people bring picnics and while the afternoon away. I *think* there’s also a way to hike to the top of Table Mountain/Signal Hill from here but it’s a trek and takes a long while but great if you are adventurous. If not take the cable car to the top and enjoy the views. Amazing–again dependent on weather so check before going. The coastline around Cape Town is also stunning, you can rent a car and just drive along the coast. Some stunning views e.g. the 12 apostles, Camps Bay or Gordons Bay. You can also take a drive out to Muizenberg, there is a place where they have African Penguins. Or to the Cape of Good Hope nature reserve, southern-most tip of Africa. The last two are outside the city. The V&A waterfront is also great for shopping and dining.

      In Stellenbosch aka wine country, look up some vineyards before going. It’s been a while but some I remember Fairview–famous for Goats do Roam, a play on Cotes du Rhone. They also have cheese tastings there and a restaurant. Recall eating dinner at the Lanzerac, some amazing wine there too. Another suggestion: L’Avenir was also great. Pinotage is a wine blend specific to South Africa, so definitely try it. I visited these places over different trips so definitely talk to locals for other suggestions depending on how much time you have/what distance you have to cover. Stellenbosch also has some really good restaurants, one standout is the Volkskombuis, it’s cozy and depending on where you sit can feel quite intimate. If you eat meat I recommend the Oxtail Potjie (pronounced poy-kie). Another typical South African dish to try when you are there–not necessarily at this restaurant- Bobotie, also meat based but I know some South Africans who make vegetarian versions so maybe these options exist. For history, you can go out to Robben Island by boat where Mandela was imprisoned.

      Some of the warnings common in South Africa have to do with theft. So be as cautious as you would be anywhere else i.e. don’t flash valuables e.g jewelry,expensive gadgetry etc. Check with your doctor regarding appropriate vaccinations e.g. yellow fever etc. And if you will be in a malaria endemic region, take precautions. Some guesthouses have mosquito nets for example. Above all, have fun! S.A. is a great place and writing this makes me want to visit again!

    • South Africa

      I’m in SA right now, which means that it’s my bedtime. Quickly – I think you should do the safari. I love Cape Town, lived there for several years, but you are right that it will be less unique to you (I also lived in northern CA, and love many of the same things about both places). If you want to go somewhere nonmalarial and accessible from Joburg, you can try Madikwe reserve (there are several lodges to choose from). Smaller than Kruger, but much easier to get to and not crowded. You could also go to Addoo in the Eastern Cape if you want to fit Cape Town in. If you do go to the Cape, you can do wine country in a day if you want – if you do that, I’d drive out to Franschhoek (smaller/nicer than Stellenbosch).

      If you post again when you’ve decided on Cape Town v. safari, I can give more recs.

    • AmericanInAfrica

      Hi! I live in Johannesburg currently and have lived in Cape Town in the past (married to a Saffer). Apologies for posting late…time difference. :) If you’re content to do a day trip (or quick overnight) to see some animals, I recommend visiting the Pilanesberg from Johannesburg. It’s a 2 – 2.5 hour drive from Jo’burg, and you can easily rent a car (I drove my hatchback, but something higher is better), self drive there and self drive through the park.

      I’ve never stayed over in the Pilanesberg, but there are also some lovely lodges, which would be worth looking into if you’d like the full safari experience. Check BushBreaks dot co dot za.

      You could also do Aquila from Cape Town (also about a 2-hour drive from the city), which might be more convenient if you’re flying down to Cape Town anyways.
      For Cape Town activities–I recommend driving out to Cape Point. It’s a beautiful drive, though it does look a lot like California. On the way, you can stop in Muizenberg (great beach for surfing) and see the penguins at Boulders Beach, and a lot of baboons on the way. Once you get to the park you can get your pic with the Cape of Good Hope sign, see some stunning views, grab a glass of wine at the restaurant.

  3. Baconpancakes

    Ugh, I’ve been dealing with a terrible ebay seller all day. He created a tracking number for the item months ago, but UPS never marked it as received, and he’s demanding I close the dispute I opened before he refunds the payment. Every other email he sends is in all caps. So unprofessional.

    • tesyaa

      I think ebay will step in and get involved if you wait a certain amount of time after opening the case – 14 days? Don’t close the dispute before he refunds payment, obviously.

      • Baconpancakes

        Yeah, I’m going through the correct channels. I’m just so frustrated with his unreasonableness.

        • la vie en bleu

          what a weirdo. How does he not get that AllCapsYelling at you is not going to help him?

  4. Anonymous

    I’m really craving cookies for my afternoon snack- what are your fave subs for afternoon sweet treats?

    • Apples

      Jasmine green tea with a teaspoon of sugar, water with mint (although you might not have mint leaves hanging around your desk).

      ETA: Not to sound too nutritionally virtuous – I had half a Heath bar after lunch today, yum.

      • anon

        Oranges. They are sweet enough to satisfy me and substantial enough to fill me up.

    • Anon in NYC

      Usually fruit. If I’m pretty hungry I’ll do something like a banana or apple topped with peanut butter. Sometimes a granola bar if I have one. If I really want chocolate and nothing else will work, I will make myself one of those packets of low-sugar Swiss Miss.

    • Brit

      I like graham crackers for this, especially if they’re cinnamon flavored. They have a sweetness to them and that crunch that I like in cookies.

    • Baconpancakes

      I actually prefer something with a bit of protein to give it some heft. I like apples and bananas with almond or peanut butter.

    • Zelda

      Kind bar, apple or toasted ezekiel bread with natural peanut butter, plain 2% greek yogurt with fruit, a slice of deli meat rolled up with low fat cheese (zap in the microwave until the cheese is melted, mmm good!)

    • NYNY

      I don’t sub. I just eat the cookies.

      When I tried to sub “good” food for what I wanted, I often still wanted what I originally wanted. I figure it makes more sense to have a cookie or two than to have the veggies, and then almonds, and then still have the cookies. Or to have the other things and still want the cookies.

      • anon a mouse

        +1. A friend once told me that the best bites of anything are the first and last – whether you are eating 1 cookie or 10, you will savor those two. So I will usually give in to a craving and focus on just having a couple (sometimes three) bites, and quickly throwing the rest in the trash.

    • MJ

      Applesauce – the natural kind, no sugar added. Plain Greek yogurt with berries.

    • layered bob

      If I want a cookie (or whatever else) then I eat it. I mean, graham crackers, a granola bar, etc. all have as much or more sugar than a cookie. I have the privilege of living in the developed world where I have access to pretty much anything I feel like eating at any given time – why not enjoy it?

      That said, most days I don’t want a cookie. So if you’re just asking for snack ideas and not trying to trick yourself out of something completely harmless that you actually want, then I’m in the banana + almond butter, 2% greek yogurt, or vegetable soup camp.

    • Anon

      Chocolate vitamuffin with a little almond butter on top or strawberries on the side.

  5. PreNatal

    I recently found out that I’m pregnant and it’s been a little bit overwhelming to sort through all the online information. This seems like a dumb question but is there some reason not to take a prenatal vitamin with Vitamin A if the source is beta-carotene? I feel like I remember reading here in the past that pregnant women should avoid Vitamin A, but from what I understand that’s only for the preformed vitamin A that you’d get from retinoids or from eating liver or too much red meat, not the kind you get from fruits and veggies. All the trusted brands of vitamins I am seeing have lots of Vitamin A in them, so I am just a little confused and wanted to make sure..
    PS: Sorry if this is too off topic but I haven’t made the mental transition to the moms site yet. TIA.

      • PreNatal

        I have to get a doctor first & they don’t usually see you until week 8 or 9. The nurse at the office just said to take any prenatal from a brand I trust, but I wanted to double check something that I specifically remembered reading on this s!te.

    • Lyssa

      Congratulations! I’ve never heard that, and basically all that I have seen and been told from my doctor’s office is that pretty much any pre-natal is fine (mine did tell me to avoid the gummies, because they don’t have enough iron, and recommended extra folic acid (so I take a supplement of that along with my multi)), but that the standard mass market generic is as good as anything else. I use the Kroger brand. (Some women find that different brands aggravate morning sickness or other symptoms, but I never had that issue.)

      Good luck to you! The mom site is pretty awesome; definitely come check it out. :)

      • Diana Barry

        +1. I took the CVS brand prenatal (the Whole Foods brand hurt my stomach) and always took them at night/after dinner when my stomach was fullest.

        • PreNatal

          Thanks! I think maybe this is just brain overload. I always took regular Garden of Life vitamins so that’s what I picked up.

    • anonymama

      Pregnant women should NOT avoid vitamin A, you just shouldn’t take any extra/additional vitamin A supplements, because you don’t want to take too much. So a regular prenatal is fine, just stick with only the prenatals and don’t take extra/additional vitamins.

      Also, don’t look for extra things to stress out about, because that’s a rabbit hole that doesn’t end. Just try to eat well, everything in moderation, and take care of yourself.

      • Anonymous

        Pregnant women need Vitamin A, so your prenatals will have a good amount. Vitamin A is a fat soluble vitamin, so it doesn’t “wash out” like Vitamin C. Don’t take extra vitamins. If you look at the label of something and it has 100% of Vitamin A in two servings – I’m looking at you Fresh Samantha Smoothie – that you may be tempted to drink in one sitting *ahem* – skip it for something else that is a little more balanced.

    • Anon

      Go have a chat with a pharmacist if you can’t get in to see your doctor for a while.

      • HM

        +1 – the pharmacist I spoke with when newly pregnant was tremendously helpful, both with the prenatal vitamins, and what OTC pain meds I could safely take if needed.

    • anon not to out

      Go to a doctor. But also, the Vit A that pregnant women are supposed to avoid are mega-doses of Vit A like in Retinoids, Accutane, etc. There is no evidence that I know of that the daily amount of Vit A included in a prenatal vitamin would cause harm to a fetus.

    • layered bob

      1. Read Expecting Better by Emily Oster. Completely de-stressed my pregnancy. Anything you normally do short of working in a mercury mine is basically fine.
      2. Don’t worry too much about the prenatals – my doctor actually said she advises all her patients who have an otherwise healthy diet not to take them – “since they only give you very expensive pee” and contribute to constipation and morning sickness. Your insurance will also pay for them once you’re seen by a doctor/midwife so don’t waste your money on a big bottle before your first appointment.

      • Lobbyist

        I also had a pretty laid back MD and he recommended I just take a regular multivitamin (One a day) and not the prenatals because they made me feel like I was going to throw up.

  6. Grown Up Group Projects

    Ugh. Am working on presentation for my inns of court group and can I just rant for a second? Putting these things together is *just like* group projects in school – one person does almost everything and getting the rest to help is like herding cats! Totally lobbying for a guest speaker instead next time.

    • Ellen

      Yay! Coffee Break! I love coffee break, but will NOT be abel to wear wedge’s like this to court b/c the judge does NOT like me in less then 4 inch heels. He also told the manageing partner that wedge’s look like old lady shoe’s and he wants me to look young for him. FOOEY b/c there are times walkeing in NYC that 4″ heel’s are simpley too dificult, and I don’t have Mason everywhere to carry my shoe’s for me. DOUBEL FOOEY!

      As for the OP, yes, it is dificult working in group’s on presentations, but hang in there, you can do it, and at the end you can also claim credit for doeing it! When I do CLE power points with the manageing partner, I keep copie’s and give them out to peeople in the class that want them. I alway’s put MY phone number on the copy so if there is question’s, they come to ME. I have gotten 3 new CLEINT’s out of doeing this, and it is ALL on the up and up, with no funny busness from the cleint’s. My dad originaly thought that I would wind up haveing to have drink’s or worse — sex — with potential cleint’s, but when they realy need a WC firm, we are there GO to peeople, and lawyers do NOT drink, or have sex with their cleint’s, even in WC. So do what I do–make copies and give them out with YOUR contact information, and you will get new cleint’s and even become a partner like me! YAY!!!!!!

  7. Anonymous

    Anyone have the Ann Taylor pebbled signature tote (which I think used to be the Gallery Tote)? I’ve long admired it on Extra Petite and when I was in the store the other day I examined it and it looked high quality, but I would love to hear from those who have it how it holds up, etc. Also does AT ever do 50-60% off full price items? It’s been so long since I shopped there I don’t remember.

    • OCAssociate

      I don’t know about the tote, but AT does do big discounts online. You should be able to get at least 40% off if you watch for online sales over the next couple months.

    • Anonymous

      I have it and it’s held up well. The zippers sometimes unzip themselves (I tend to overpack the bag), but it isn’t a real problem b/c that just expands the bag rather than opening up the sides.

  8. Anon

    I just need to vent. I work for a small law firm and every time my boss gets really stressed out, he turns into a huge jerk and starts micromanaging and claiming that everything that goes wrong is my fault. I really can’t take it anymore. I think I need to start job hunting

    • Wanderlust

      Been there. It’s horrible, and job hunting sounds like a good idea. Also remember that when your boss is yelling at you, he’s not yelling at YOU, but just yelling AT you. If you weren’t in the chair, he’d be yelling at whoever was. It’s hard, but please try to remember it is not your fault.

    • MJ

      This may be ballsy, but I would have a talk with him–not when he’s angry. Another time. Explain that it really isn’t conducive to you producing your best work for him or clients, and you would appreciate if he would not do it next time. Sometimes bullies need to be told this. For reals. He’s not going to fire you for bringing this up, professionally, at an opportune time.

  9. Meg Murry

    Random vent – just started a new job and while it is generally going well and I like my co-workers, there is a father/son pair here that works here and listening to them disagree reminds me why I could NEVER work with my parents, siblings or spouse. They don’t full out fight, but they don’t bother with the polite niceties most people use when disagreeing with co-workers, and they both tend to speak loudly to begin with. *deep breaths*

    Separate request. I went to town on the Jones New York sale and got a few things that are going back because I’m kinda “meh” on them, but there are 2 dresses that I really like and are flattering and a good deal, but I have no reason to wear them. The new office is far far more informal, and wearing them here would be way out of touch with company culture, plus it’s a lab so there is a good chance they would get dirty and/or ruined, and I couldn’t wear pretty shoes with them.

    But they were such good deals – $13 for a really flattering dress! When am I ever going to find that again?!

    Talk me down please, help me put them back in the box to ship back before my credit card bill gets here or I miss the 30 day window. I’m trying to remind myself that my closet is full of “good deals” that I hardly ever wear and I should spend the money on a pair or two of work pants that I actually like and would wear regularly instead of a bunch of dresses for super rare occasions. But I’m having trouble getting over that hurdle. Hive, school me please.

    • Michelle

      sorry, no help here… $13 for a flattering comfortable dress that you love? No way would I send those back. You can make that money back in no time and then buy work pants. I myself spent excessive time at the Ann Taylor sale today and they seemed to have lots of work pants on sale. Then arrange a dinner out this weekend and wear your new dress :-)

      signed,
      The Enabler

      • Must be Tuesday

        Keep the flattering $13 dress. Unless you already have 20 dresses you never wear.

        • Meg Murry

          I have about 10 dresses I rarely wear, and my concern is this dress is winter weight, but sleeveless so needs a blazer or cardigan so it will look even more formal. My office is jeans an fleece casual – dressing up is polo and khakis for most people (and that’s what they wear to conferences).
          I might be able to wear it to a conference in May, but I’m afraid it will be too wintery, and by next winter the newness will have worn off.
          There is another dress that I like a little less, but its more versatile (less wintery, has 3/4 sleeves. I think I can let myself keep one, but not both.
          Links to follow

    • anon

      + 1 to michelle. as soon as you return it you will get invited to some fancy ladies brunch or a conference or someone’s wedding/bridal shower etc where that dress will come in handy. keep it.

      • NYNY

        You may need the dresses when the father/son arguments drive you to switching jobs…

    • SC

      I’m with Michelle – if you really love the dresses, you can probably find a way to style them for work, plus NBD if a $13 dress gets ruined in a lab. Or split the difference – pick your favorite dress and send the other back.

    • Sue

      I was going to say return because you know, extra stuff. But maybe you can wear it to conferences, networking events. Only return it if you already have other dresses that are similar that you never wear

    • S in Chicago

      Not to enable, but would definitely keep $13 flattering dress (won’t shipping it back cost at least $7?). Surely you are going to have a nice dinner/work event/funeral/SOMETHING soon.

  10. RosaD - shopping help!

    I have become super obsessed with this coat in the last few days (http://www.jny.com/Stretch-Cotton-Car-Coat-with-Patch-Pockets/29105873,default,pd.html?variantSizeClass=&variantColor=JJA95A0&cgid=28160554&prefn1=catalog-id&prefv1=jonesny-catalog&ep_tag=AF200905) and I was wondering if anyone had seen something similar that comes in the mystical size 16 (or even a plus size). This one is just too small in the bust for me. I really like the collarless spring coat look, the color is less important to me. TIA!

    • S in Chicago

      Search the Nordstrom site by “topper.” Halogen, T Tahari, and a few other brands have similar. I also saw something very similar recently from DKNY (Macys).

      • RosaD

        Thank you for the search term! I couldn’t even think of a good word to describe it.

  11. Baconpancakes

    I keep seeing bloggers wearing jean jackets with casual outfits, and while I love the overall look, I just. cannot. with jean jackets. (Child of the 80’s.) Suggestions for other casual jackets to sub to get the “feel” of the look without the Saved by the Bell flashbacks?

  12. Batgirl

    I’ve posted about this before, but I’m considering a move from NYC (Brooklyn) to the DC Metro area. I guess I’m trying to figure out if this move would solve the problems we’re having with NYC: it’s expensive, I find it stressful on a day to day level, and good public schools very hard to come by. I’m worried that the DC metro area isn’t that much cheaper if you’re in an area with a decent (30 min or under) commute to work.

    We don’t want to live in DC proper, but are struggling to figure out how close we should live to the city. My family is in northern VA (close to Reston, VA) so we’d want to live on the VA side rather than the MD side. We’d also want to have at least a 2BR, preferably 3BR–preference for townhouse over apartment, would be great to have a modest house some day.

    FWIW, our combined household income is about $180K and we expect we could do about the same in DC (because I can keep my job and my husband is pretty underpaid for his field in NY).

    I guess I’m just really tired of NYC right now and am tempted to throw it all in and get a bigger house out near the family (Reston area) but worry that it’ll feel way too removed from urban life for me (no matter how much I think I would like that now).

    Thanks in advance!

    • Baconpancakes

      NoVA has some of the best public schools in the country, so there’s that. I can’t advise on buying houses in the area, but I know that if you’re looking for a house that’s really walkable to a metro, even one of the further-out metros, will still cost you close to half a million. A half-hour commute is unlikely, honestly. Once you get out of the city, most commutes are about 45 minutes. You can absolutely get a place with a more suburban, relaxed feel, but driving will still be terrible.

      • Emily

        If you’re in Brooklyn, aren’t most commutes 45 anyway? I live in Manhattan, but with the increasingly frequent subway delays, it’s become something like 40 minutes door to door so I wouldn’t necessarily factor in slight increase in commute time as a detriment…

        • Batgirl

          Yes, I have a 50 min commute, but that’s why I’m leaving! :) Or rather, if I’m going to do a 45 min commute, I’d like to come home to a bigger place than the small 1BR we have in Brooklyn. I guess what I meant was that if we’re doing a smaller place in the DC area, it would have to be for a stellar commute (under 30 min). And I will say, the difference between a 30 min commute and a 45 min commute feels significant.

    • la vie en bleu

      ITA, NoVA has amazing schools, esp Fairfax County. The difficult part is finding a house there. And yes, the commutes are crazy almost no matter what. My sister & BIL just spent FOREVER looking for a smaller, affordable house, and finally found a 3-br townhouse in Fairfax, but it was very hard. They have built a million developments with huge houses that are crazy overpriced. And driving is just awful no matter where you are going or which direction. My dad used to have a reverse commute but now there is no such thing. It really isn’t that much cheaper than NYC, and in some ways it feels more expensive.

      That said, there are way more businesses out in the suburbs/exurbs now, so if you can find a job AND a house in the same town, you are totally set. But I don’t know anyone who has managed to pull that off. So, if you could find a job near Reston, you could have a short commute. But it is total Strip Mall Land, and I feel very far from the city when I am visiting there, even just a few days into a visit I feel claustrophobic. There are little pockets where I would love to live: Clarendon, Del Ray, where there are walkable neighborhoods. But finding a house for sale would take some amazing luck.

      But yes, the schools are AMAZING, and if you are looking for an incredible 1st grade teacher any time soon, I have the perfect recommendation for you! ;o)

      • Batgirl

        I think my ideal would be to be within a 30 min drive of Reston (and my family) so that we can see them regularly and they could help in a childcare pinch–and closer to DC to reduce commute times and hopefully have a more interesting hood.

        I’m glad to hear folks still consider the schools great. They were when I was there some 20 years ago, but I worried they had faded a bit from their glory days.

    • MJ

      I would speak with your family to get a realtor to talk through these things with you. My mom is a realtor, and even when she knows that there might not be a sale/purchase in the immediate future (maybe just a lease that’s not even much worth her time), she always goes all out for people relocating, because those same people notice her effort and send her great referrals. A realtor can tell you a ton about school districts, traffic, noise and other things that are important and can’t really be gauged fully on websites like trulia or zillow or redfin.

      Definitely worth a conversation, for sure.

    • Anonymous

      Do you have a downpayment? If you want a starter place with a short commute, I’d try Capitol Hill or Petworth. There are good elementary schools and 2-3 bed rowhouses in the 700-900k range. You may need to move to the burbs before junior high, but could have a many years of good commutes in the meantime. Capitol Hill in particular is a great community.

    • anon

      I live within a 5 minute walk of a metro stop on the orange line (northern VA). We rent, but our 2 bed 2 bath (nice finishes) condo was purchased for $350,000, which I understand is a very good price. Most are listed for around $400,000. Townhouse within walking distance of the metro will be $600-700,000. BUT, a townhouse that you would drive to in Fairfax City (where we live) can be bought for $350-400,000, so your income should be fine for buying and renting. You can get a single family home in fairfax city and the surrounding area for anywhere from $400,00-600,00. Basically, it’s cheaper than NYC but still a bit expensive. That being said, schools in Fairfax county are outstanding so you don’t need private school (you may need it in Arlington county, from what I hear, but it depends on your personal feelings on your child’s education). Reston could be really really far of a commute depending on where you work. I think having family close by could really reduce your stress, and on your income, as long as you have savings and are smart with your money, you should definitely be able to purchase.

      • roses

        I agree with what you wrote but will add that you’re talking about a pretty limited geographic area and pretty limited condo/house selection when you factor in that OP wants a 30 min or less commute. It can be done, but it might take a while to find something.

        • Batgirl

          Thanks, I think I was being a bit too optimistic when I said 30 min!

          Fairfax City is an interesting option, thanks!

    • anon a mouse

      So much depends on where you will be working and whether you are committed to transit or driving. Fairfax County has amazing schools, and would be a good starting point for you. There are many different neighborhoods across the county that you can afford, but will have different commuting times. A colleague takes the VRE train into DC from Burke and then goes a few stops on Metro to our office. A friend takes a commuter bus from Reston downtown – an hour each way, but she’s not driving so it’s less stressful. You may also want to look at Falls Church – some places there are close to Metro. But even Metro from just about anywhere in Fairfax will be 30+ minutes.

      • Batgirl

        Falls Church is a great idea, too!

        The difficult thing is that I am expecting to keep my job when I go down there — probably commuting into the Farragut North area a few days a week and working from the other days. But I don’t plan to stay forever, so I want to be a bit flexible before committing to something really far out given that my career is very policy-based and I would expect most jobs to be in DC.

        • Anonymous

          If you aren’t sure where your job will be, Alexandria might not be a good choice – it cuts off job prospects in Tysons, Reston, Bethesda, and Chevy Chase. Falls Church is a better choice – very central to all of those locations.

    • ErinF

      How close do you want to be to Reston? Even with the Silver Line, that’s a hike from DC. We live in NoVA inside the Beltway, 1 mi from the Metro and it’s about a 50 min commute to downtown (although depends on whether you’re on the more eastern side of the city, like Foggy Bottom area, or western, like Union Station/Cap Hill for work — the difference can be 15-20 min). We have a townhouse with 3br/3.5ba, 1400sqft plus finished basement and similar homes are currently selling at around $530k-$560k. There are homes closer in (Clarendon area) but those are easily $1.25mil+ range. I agree with the poster who suggested Capitol Hill. It would be an hour or so to get to Reston to see family, but you’d have an easier commute and the area can be very neighborhoody. (Plus Eastern Market is great!)

      • la vie en bleu

        I agree with all of this, but I also want to just point out that you don’t know where your jobs will be yet. There is still a lot of stuff in downtown DC, but there are also a lot more workplaces spread all over the area than there used to be. My dad works in Dulles, my sister in Tysons, my dad worked in Silver Spring for a long time. So, your commute might not be based on your distance from downtown, and another wrinkle might be that your husband and you get jobs in totally different directions, so it’s impossible for you both to have a short commute. And the public transit options to these other areas (non-DC) are basically non-existent, so you definitely have to drive. Just something to keep in mind, and to maybe get jobs nailed down first before committing to a house purchase.

        • Batgirl

          Thanks, that’s helpful. I just wrote this in response to another post, but I’ll likely keep my job but work out of our DC office (near Farrugut North) a few days a week and from home the other days. My husband could wind up anywhere. We’d be willing to drive within VA but I wouldn’t want to drive into DC because of traffic/parking (even though VA is bad traffic wise, parking isn’t the same!)

          • la vie en bleu

            definitely. Just be prepared to be flexible once you are actually making plans. The area is a LOT more spread out and developed than it used to be. It kind of freaks me out every time I go back because it is so different.

      • Batgirl

        Thanks, maybe I’ll check out Capitol Hill, but I think it may be too “city” for what I’m looking for now. And too expensive. Still, worth checking out!

    • Bonnie

      Not with a 30 minute commute, but you can certainly get a better quality of life in DC than in NYC. I agree that Fairfax, Arlington, and Falls Church are good places for you to look. Petworth is fantastic but not within your budget. Even a longer commute on the Metro isn’t too bad, especially if you can get a seat.

    • L

      I’ll page you in the morning thread, but I think you’re going to have to be realistic here. You’ll be swapping one expensive city for another. Public schools are way better, but your commute will be horrific unless you want to drop some serious cash. Post an email address and I’ll chat with you more!

    • AR

      We live in Burke, VA and you can get an ok to nice 3 bedroom house/townhome for around 400K. Or upgraded and large for 550K. West Springfield High is one of the best schools in the state, so if you are looking for schools it is the place to be. To get the best commute, though, it really depends on where you are going in DC. Looking at houses, I would look for a place right near a VRE station. It is a great commuter line that goes into Union Station in about 25 minutes and follows a schedule. So there is no waiting, changing lines, etc. But if you have to go to Georgetown or anything like that your commute can be about an hour. Or you can Slug it (DC thing). From Fairfax area the commute can be difficult to the city because the metro is not really convenient out there.

      • Batgirl

        Thanks, this is helpful. I’ll check out Burke. And I’d never heard of VRE so that’s good to know, too. We’re really flexible about where we end up, but it’s hard to figure out from a distance where that sweet spot will be that lands us a not terrible commute and a not terrible home.

      • la vie en bleu

        whoa that is crazy, my parents live in Burke right around the corner from the VRE, which I still think of as a very small place ;-) hi vicarious neighbor!

        • AR

          Agreed. Burke itself is small, but surrounded by everything so I’ve become a big fan. And not surprised to know your parents live there, because our neighborhood is really starting to turn over to a younger family set (thank goodness). I was hesitant at first to move further from the city but we definitely have a much nicer house and a generally relaxing commute.

          The VRE is pretty much amazing. We can walk to it. And there is no noise nights and weekends because it is purely a commuter train. Sometimes there is an Amtrak, but not often. AND when we want to go to NYC, you can walk to the station and hop on the Amtrak.

          • la vie en bleu

            well they aren’t new, they’ve been living there since I was in school in the 80’s, but they have stayed in their small house, never felt the need to upgrade. But yeah, my dad used to work near Union Station and loved taking the VRE. It doesn’t work for any of their commutes anymore, but I know he misses it. We need more commuter rails in this country!

  14. Patent Anon

    Any patent litigators out there make the switch to prosecution? Any tips to consider or advice? For background: I’m interested generally in prosecution (passed the Patent bar before law school, did some prosecution work in law school) but as happens, the job I landed after law school was litigation. Litigation has been fun, but the work/life trade off is wearing on my last nerves. An opportunity has presented itself to work at a smaller firm (presently Big Law) that has stable big name clients. I’m very intrigued but want to make sure the lure of a stable schedule doesn’t overshadow reality.

    • Anonymous

      Patent litigator here. For me, the trade-off to a more predictable schedule would not be worth it. Partly because I find prosecution incredibly dull (but it sounds like you have some familiarity with it and know you like it) and partly because, while the schedule is more predictable, the hours are still pretty insane. I’m not sure that working some 80 hour weeks and some 40 hour works is worse than working 60 hours week in, week out. So yes, you’re probably not going to have all-nighters and crazy days where you have to cancel all your plans, but I’m not sure your overall work/life balance will be better or that you will really see your family more or have more time to pursue outside activities. Also, it’s very tough to bill in prosecution. While in litigation, you typically bill all the hours you worked, except in very unusual circumstances, most prosecution matters have caps and even if you need to work beyond the cap (sometimes significantly more, like twice as much) you can’t bill the hours. It might be ok in an in-house environment where there’s no billable hour, but in any law firm the number of billable hours is going to be very important and it would kill me to know that I was working so much more than I was billing. I understand this is particularly tough as a more junior associate where you’re learning and things take you a really long time (think how long it took you to draft discovery as a first year versus how long it takes now). That “learning curve” that you get in litigation seems to sort of not exist in patent law, at least as far as billables. I always assumed patent prosecutors were much happier than litigators, but having been in the field a while now, I’m actually not sure that’s true.
      Note: if you said you hated the confrontational aspects of litigation or dealing with opposing counsel, my answer would be different. I’m just not sure the work-life balance is that different between the two fields.

      • Patent Anon

        Very interesting. Thank you so much. I don’t mind the confrontation, I mostly think the chest-beating of litigation is over hyped, the monotony of discovery and fighting over discovery gets me more.
        I hadn’t thought about the billable work difference. That’s been added to my list of questions.
        It’s really hard because I also have the opportunity to take a government atty position, but the salary is just outside of my comfort zone (albeit it an amazing offer from the government). I want a change, I’m just not sure how to balance the characteristics of what I want. Which, is obviously not something anyone but me can answer. But your input is invaluable.

        • padi

          Take the government job. You will be amazed by how little you can live off of when you have a 40-hour work week. Time to cook, time to exercise, time to see friends…

          • Patent Anon

            I feel strongly about taking the government position too. It sounds like it would be a perfect fit. Except for the salary. I’m convinced we could make-do with the lower salary but my husband is not convinced. Before I got the first comp numbers (waiting to hear back on the negotiation up) I had the best weekend I have had in three years just considering that my time in the future would be free, I could cook, exercise, see friends. Heck… clean. Not to mention, you know, see my kids.

            I think my husband wants me to exhaust all my options, including other litigation positions. I just know from my friends that even taking a lower salary litigation position does not mean less hours, it only guarantees a lower salary. FWIW I really do like my job, but flex time isn’t an option so something has to give.

          • Bonnie

            Prosecutors work much more than 40 hours a week. The work is great but intense.

    • padi

      I am a patent prosecutor and I have seen a number of litigators try to male the switch. It is not easy and I can only think of one person who really succeeded. You will tale a pay cut and be back to being trained. Patent prosecution has tight budgets, tight deadlines thanks to the AIA first to file provisions, and more firms are trying to cut costs so we are expected to do more administrative work than before. It isn’t impossible to make the switch but it is hard.

      With a small shop, don’t let them pay you with a “draw”. Demand a salary because you will be lucky to net 60 hours after write-downs per month for the first 6 months to a year.

      • Patent Anon

        Thank you! Can you tell me more about being paid by “draw”? I’ve not heard of this–is it a per/assignment payment?

        • Anonymous

          I’m pretty sure it’s more like for every X dollars you bring in (i.e. actually paid though, not just billed), you get Y% in salary? something like that.

        • padi

          Basically it is a percentage of your gross billings to clients. So you only get paid for what the firm bills for. Let’s say, as a beginner, you spend 24 hours on a response. The budget cap is equivalent to eight hours. Minus your supervisors time (which hopefully they won’t bill all of), you are left with 4-7.5 hours of the 24 that can be billed. You would get 30-40% of that 4-7 hours times billing rate amount in a small shop for your 24 hours of billed time.

          • Patent Anon

            That sounds awful! Thank you for the heads up, I’m sure I would have figured this out eventually but it is really good to know on the front-end.

  15. Thoughts on feeling old

    I turned 35 recently and somehow I feel really old, and anxious. I suppose some of this could be from comparing myself to others i.e. major life milestones such as marriage, kids, career etc. I know there could still be a long life ahead but somehow I feel like there’s nothing exciting to look forward to? Looking for commiseration, has anyone else gotten to a particular age and felt this way?

    • Anon

      I am 31.5, but feel the same way especially about kids and career. I am not where I wanted to be in my career and I have no idea when I will be having kids. I have somewhat overcome the disappointment in career but it stings once in a while. I think about kids constantly and I feel very depressed. I guess I just feel empty within me :-(.

      • Anon 2

        You’re not alone. I feel the exact same way about career and kids. (almost 33 here)

    • anonymous

      I’m 26 and I feel the same way. I feel like time is passing me by and I wish I were further ahead in my career. Also wish I had hit some major milestones. My mom laughs at me for this since it’s apparently ridiculous for someone my age to feel this way, but I think it’s something we all struggle with from time to time.

    • another anonymous

      Having kids and a career will not insulate you from feeling old. It is inevitable.

      I am 38 and have a family and a successful career, but I still feel old. There will always be something you feel you have missed out on that you should have achieved by now. For me it is the Ph.D. that I really wanted instead of the stupid law degree I wasted three years and a gazillion dollars on.Sure, I could go back and get it, but I am not willing to ask my family to make the necessary sacrifices. I also feel like I threw away my one true talent when I gave up music after graduating from college. I always thought I could go back to it, and then suddenly 17 years had gone by. I have been trying to adopt a “life is short, just do it” attitude, but it is hard when there are only so many hours in the day and you are Just. So. Tired. from doing everything you have to get done.

    • Senior Attorney

      OMG, I am 56 and honestly, I feel younger than I’ve felt in years! But…

      I vividly remember being 22 (22!!!!) and feeling “old” because I had had a (seemingly) major (at the time) career/educational disappointment and felt like I was way behind my peers. And of course in retrospect it was a blessing in disguise and led to something different and better. And guess what? It’s been pretty much lather, rinse, repeat for the following 40-plus years! Sometimes things are going great and you feel young and optimistic, and sometimes notsomuch and you feel old and disappointed.

      One of the most pleasantly surprising things I’ve learned over the years is that there are plenty of second and third and even fourth acts in our lives if we keep our minds and hearts open and look for them.

      • Anonymous

        I was going to say something similar, but this is just perfect. I’m 39 now, but felt old when I was 25. Now I feel like I’m still in my 20s and I’ve never felt sexier. Try to focus on the positives you have now and stop comparing your life to others. Everyone has good and bad, and the more you focus on the good, the better you’ll feel.

    • espresso bean

      Yes. I am turning 35 this summer. I don’t own a home, I have no children, husband, or even relationship, and I feel like I’m fine at my career, but it’s nothing spectacular.

      I think there are two issues at play here:

      1. It’s normal to compare ourselves to others, and birthdays bring out the worst in that because they’re such a natural check-in point with oneself about how we’re doing since last year.

      2. As another anonymous at 5:55 pm said, having all the things you want won’t stop you from feeling old. I think kids can provide a distraction from aging, but in some ways they probably remind people of the youthful energy they no longer have.

      I hope you feel better. Remember that in the grand scheme of things, 35 is very young and you have plenty of time to accomplish whatever it is you want to do. The good thing about realizing that you’re not where you want to be is that you can always still come up with a plan to get there.

    • Life is Dynamic

      A former colleague about 10 years my senior used to say this to me when I was going through my divorce (at 30). She is so right. As is Senior Attorney.

      I am 48. I met my husband at 40. My 40s have been so much more full of life and wonderfulness and love and all things good than my 30s were. (I spent my 30s totally, completely alone, except for 100 hour weeks.)

      As far as I can tell, you have not yet even hit the halfway point in your life. And every single day could be the day that something happens that changes your life dramatically and for the better. One day I had never met my husband. And then the next day I met him. Poof. Just like that. It can happen.

      • Profmama

        Yes! Right there with you! I’m 47, met my husband just before 40, and have had way more fun, adventure, travel, newness (new job, house, baby, friends) since then than in the previous decade. The 30s were about pulling myself together and getting educated in a new field after spending my early-mid 20s in a major slump.

        I felt ‘old’ at 25-29, after splitting with a serious boyfriend, having shared living situations crumble, and being generally clueless.

        But once I created a new ‘plausible narrative’ and set off on that path, things looked up, and even though I spent much of my 30s alone, I was far happier than I was in my 20s.

        The point about second acts is key. Each decade of my adult life so far has focused on a different yet somehow all related career.

    • Scandia

      I am not sure I know how to frase this.

      I have never felt that I would age one year each year.
      Some years I felt younger than I was, then something would happen,
      illness in the family, some kind of crisis, and after that I suddenly felt several years older.
      Life would go on, and then I felt younger again.

    • Second Acts

      Just agreeing with others that “feeling old” is such a non-linear phenomenon. I’m in my mid 30s and the oldest I ever felt was at the end of my “first act” as Senior Attorney put it (end of my first career, end of my first marriage). I’m now on my second act and I feel crazy young. I like the idea above of finding a “plausible narrative.” I’ve definitely done that and found that it’s helpful to mentally position yourself as though you’re at the end of a phase but you’ve learned so much and now you’re going in a different direction.

      All this is to say, I entirely expect that there will be third, fourth, fifth acts, etc. in my life and I am excited to see what they bring. I think it gets easier after the first act because then you start expecting that change will happen and that it will be good.

  16. Austin?

    Anyone in Austin? My baby brother is moving there to start grad school this fall and is just starting to think about where to live. Any particular areas good for living/proximity to UT? TIA!!

    • Anonymous

      Hyde Park/North Campus is popular with grad students. You can find a lot of cottages and du/tri/quadplexes for rent in this area, as well as some megacomplexes (Triangle and Gables Central Park come to mind) if that’s what he’s looking for, but those of course carry higher rents. West Campus and East Riverside are more the loud, drunken undergrad party scene with puke in the apartment stairwells every weekend (you’ll find that in the luxury complexes further north too, but not to the same degree). In Hyde Park, something walkable to the IF campus shuttle line or 1L/1M city bus (free with student ID) is generally ideal, as parking on campus is very difficult to get.

      If Hyde Park/NC is out of his budget, look at Far West. Still a lot of grad students and it’s on a campus shuttle line. It just has more of a residential feel than closer-in areas.

      Caveat: It’s been a few years since I was in grad school there, so I’m not sure how much the downtown condo and luxury apartment boom has impacted student housing patterns.

    • JJ

      A lot of students that went to law school there with me lived in the Hyde Park area/ending by the intramural fields on 51st. There are some smaller apartment complexes and a lot of houses for rent. When I lived there, I lived off of East 11th street, which is now completely regentrified and a very hip place to live. Avoid West Campus – it’s all partying undergrads.

      • Emmabean

        Another UT Law alum! Hi!

        I cosign all of the above, but also wanted to mention that Austin’s a pretty small city. If he has a car/parking permit, he can live anywhere he wants and not have to drive far (although I’d try to avoid getting on the highway). I lived just south of the lake, off Riverside Drive, and loved being away from all the students and campus life. It took maybe 20 minutes to commute in, and living close enough to run to the lake was well worth it.

  18. Anonymous

    Marc by Marc Jacobs is shutting down- it looks like they’re just pulling it into their main line- will post link

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