ByElizabeth Hours Updated
Comments 203 Comments

Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Coralee Rosette Alpaca-Blend Cardigan

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

A woman wearing a pink embellished cardigan and dark blue jeans

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I can’t get over how pretty this alpaca-blend cardigan from Rails is. The color is gorgeous and the rosette detailing is so lovely, it might make me forget about the freezing temperatures and inches of snow that seem to be sticking around this week.

My preferred method of bundling up these days is a cozy sweater, a skirt, and warm fleecy tights, so this will fit in beautifully. 

The sweater is $268 at Rails and comes in sizes XS-XL. 

A more affordable option is from CeCe — it's on sale for $66 at Nordstrom and available in XXS-XXL, while Torrid has an option in plus sizes that's $89 and comes in sizes M-6X.

Sales of note for 2/6:

203 Comments

  1. A pile of travel queries for a gloomy Tuesday –

    Amsterdam with kids- We have 3 eight-year-olds and a 13-year-old. What are the must-sees for a 3-day stay?

    A great Amsterdam lunch for our trio (we’ll likely split up for meals). 1 veggie, 2 dairy-free, 8-year-old is a foodie (eats everything but mashed potatoes and green beans). Asian tends to work well.

    Seasickness – Overnight ferry – I’ve got tablets – but any other recommendations? I once turned green on the London Uber boat, so don’t have high hopes on the North Sea. But if there are any recommendations, I’m all ears.

    1. With kids in Amsterdam – the zoo!

      Without kids, not that you asked, but try Fort Resort Beemster, 30 minutes from the city but with an amazing range of saunas and pools in a historic setting.

    2. My Amsterdam recs are all out of date but the ferry is going to be brutal if you’re prone to seasickness. Can you fly or take the train instead?

      1. +1 – is zofran an option in the UK? Being miserably seasick would ruin an entire day for me and make the cost savings simply not worth it.

        1. Ooh, I can. I can order it from an online pharmacy (I don’t think the GP would give it to me for my holiday).

          1. Why would your doctor not give you something like this? It has no recreational value and little harm potential. It’s not like it has a funky way of being administered (like an infusion) or a street value.

          2. You may be surprised; I have a Zofran prescription just for motion sickness on public transit and in cars.

          3. Anecdotally I’ve found doctors don’t want to prescribe it unless it’s related to other medication or treatment side effects. I always ask for Zofran when they prescribe short term meds so I can hoard it for future use.

          4. Yeah anecdotally, it’s not the easiest thing to get (I’m in the US). I’ve had a number of doctors that didn’t want to prescribe it.

          5. For some reason doctors treat you like an add!ct if you request Zofran, which makes no sense because it has no recreational value whatsoever.

          6. It has some rare but potentially quite serious side effects, minor but annoying side effects like headache and constipation, and a number of drug interactions, so I think doctors are careful about prescribing it when another drug might work as well.

          7. Tell me — what other drug works well? I have to drive when I’m in a car otherwise I get horribly motion sick, so I’d like to know what else is out there so I don’t become a 1-star Uber passenger.

          8. I wonder why a doctor would hesitate to prescribe a little Zofran for such occasional use. Are they still worried about congenital long QT syndrome contraindication for people who haven’t had cardiac work up? Or are the people hoping to get it on SSRIs?

            I’ve just never run into this; my doctors are happy to have something to prescribe that works so well.

          11. Yeah, they’re worried about the heart rhythm effects and serotonin syndrome. Plus it only treats nausea and vomiting, not the general disequilibrium of motion sickness, so most doctors would want you to try motion sickness drugs first, which would work on all of those symptoms. If you still have nausea and vomiting, then it might be worth it.

          12. Anticholinergics have really severe side effects for me, but I guess I know that since I did try them first. But for me, Zofran works so much better anyway.

        2. Alternatively a scopolamine patch that goes behind your ear. Not sure if pharmacies can dispense in UK or you need a script from your GP. I found they were super helpful during some rough seas.

          1. I wouldn’t recommend this for one night. I’m an oceanographer and these are infamous for causing horrible side effects, especially for women. Unless you know that you’re okay with it, it’s not worth it. Just take meclizine and go to sleep.

          2. UK has scopolamine PILLS which are magic. I think the brand name is “Kwells”. Dramamine and meclizine don’t work for me but I get these pills when I go to LHR airport. See if you can find those.

        3. How about a motion sickness patch. I think it’s called Scopolamine. You can get on amazon with a quick virtual visit.

    3. If the North Sea is anything like the North Sea of social media reels, I cannot imagine this going well at all. I am prone to seasickness (and motion sickness in general) on anything other than a lake or the NY Circle Line or the ferry between Dover UK and France (so short that I maybe lucked out with calm weather). Even the upper Chesapeake Bay in the US? It’s a bay — protected from the might of the ocean storms. Still, I was throwing up off the side of the boat and it ruined a day for me with dehydration, headache, etc.

      Pro tip: if you get motion sick and have surgery, mention that to the anesthesia team. They can give you Zofran to head off a similar reaction to anesthesia (first time: the room spun, I spun, projectile vomiting ensued).

      1. I’m hoping a big boat, where I can immediately go to bed, will help? My ferry experiences have been on smaller island ferries – I don’t throw up, I’m just green and a bit miserable.

    4. No specific advice but Rick Steves always includes a chapter for traveling with kids in his guidebooks, so those (or his travel forums) may be a good source for you.

    5. For Amsterdam lunch for you, Sampurna on Singel, in front of the flower market. Or if you want more of a take-out, stand-up experience, sandwiches from Tjin’s.

        1. This. Also sleeping is generally better than looking at the horizon if it’s reasonable to do that.

    7. NEMO Science Museum? The Wereldmuseum has an Afrofuturism exhibition right now with related Lego-building and a printing workshop…

    8. get a pack of those sea sick wristlets from amazon. my husband gets motion sickness easily so I carry some in my purse at all times now, it’s helped him during turbulence in air and after a roller coaster or something that was unexpectedly rough. i forget if they make child sizes, they’re pretty small to begin with though.

    9. I avoid the ferries at all costs ever since a similar trip from the UK to Norway. The train is so much better. If tickets have been bought, chewable Dramamine helps me.

      1. Dramamine does nothing for me except make me tired. Bonine, however, is magical for this motion-sickness-prone girl. Highly recommend. And it has the added benefit of making me less drowsy than Dramamine (although still does make me drowsy).

    10. We were in Amsterdam a few years ago with a 3, 6, and 11 year old. The kids’ favorite things:
      -Hungry Birds food tour. We got to try a bunch of fun food and on our last day we went back and revisited our favorites. Honestly the best food we had in Amsterdam was on this tour.
      -Maritime Museum
      -The STRAAT Museum. It’s a big warehouse with a changing exhibit of street art, sometimes you can watch the artists work. In the gift shop you can buy little bottles of spray paint and tag the walls outside.
      -Canal boat tour.
      -There’s a really fun nature playground at the Sarphatipark. (I mean my kids like playgrounds wherever we travel, but this one was particularly fun.)
      We also did the Van Gogh Museum, the Rjiksmusem and the Our Lord in the Attic musuem, all of which I enjoyed. They all have fun activity books for kids to do as they go through the museum, which the kids liked, but it also meant that I had to go through the museum at their pace and not at my own.

    11. Restaurant recommendation: Kartika. It’s an Indonesian restaurant with a set menu so you will get a dozen small dishes to try. My husband used to live in the Netherlands and this was our favourite place to eat out.

  2. Longshot, but am helping my cousin sign up for Medicare ahead and would like to consult a good Medicare agent in the Twin Cities area. If you know of someone, would appreciate a recommendation.

    1. Allison DeWitt at http://www.m-yshoreline.com/. She was recommended by a lawyer friend who also lives in the Twin Cities, and she was helpful when I was helping my parents with Medicare decisions. Now that I will be enrolling later this year, I will be using her.

      I was put off by the website, but I got over that. The images and text leans into the nautical vibe of the VHCOL suburb where they’re based, which isn’t my vibe. But she is responsive and competent, which is more than I can say for the other two Twin-Cities-area brokers I checked out.

      I did all my work with her virtually.

      1. lololol at any suburb of Minneapolis being VHCOL. Posh or sn*bby, maybe. But not VHCOL.

          1. I’m from the Midwest. There is nothing in the entire region that is VHCOL and nothing outside Chicago that is HCOL (and arguably Chicago isn’t even HCOL). VHCOL is the Bay Area and maybe NYC.

    2. Boomer Benefits is the best agent by far. They work in almost every state (NY is excluded due to state law). They are extremely responsive and helpful, you can search online for their contact information.

  3. Quick question for college and HS parents. Do kids learn just by reading ebooks now? I am taking a college class and feel like I am the only one taking notes with a pen on loose-leaf paper. Are they just transcribing with tech? I feel that I need the kinetic activity of writing and underlying and outlining to learn, so I’m not going to try to change. And I’m an active note-taker when I read (so probably going to buy the book even though the ebook is free or just write up a stack of flash cards). Feeling like a fossil at the moment.

    1. Oh my students never take notes, which drives me mad. I’ve started telling them I expect them to take notes in supervision sessions.

        1. They don’t… I think they aren’t learning it as a skill earlier in their educational career. This is, of course, a generalisation – there are some students who are avid notetakers – but on the whole, I have a lot of repeat conversations with students.

          1. Same with early in career. They don’t take notes and instead rely on you repeating instructions to them.

          2. Yep. And then they all blame “neurodivergence” for the fact that they don’t remember anything, when 99 percent of them just aren’t listening or writing it down. Which ultimately harms people who are actually neurodivergent.

        2. I rarely ever took notes. In class I paid attention and took very rough notes, and then I would revise off the textbook. It worked for me.

          1. Is this like the “flipped classroom” that my kids have in school sometime where you are responsible for the learning on your own and just come to class for what is essentially a TED talk (vs instruction)? I feel that that is maybe a good format for something like a high-level seminar (but this was for elementary school, which I wasn’t expecting to be a DIY project).

          2. That is not what “flipped classroom” ordinarily means. Ordinarily flipped classroom means that the homework (problem sets, writing, whatever active work is asked of the students) is done in class with help and supervision, while just listening to a lecture is done outside of class.

          3. The “flipped learning” my college student gets doesn’t even have recorded lectures. It’s just reading the textbook and then working on problem sets in class. I am not happy to be paying big bucks for a prestigious SLAC with an especially high rating for instructional quality, just for my kid to have to teach herself. This instructional model actually influenced my kid’s choice of major–she tried out two different majors where she liked the subject matter but just could not teach it to herself thoroughly and efficiently. She finally gave up on both of those majors and chose a major based on activity that must be taught in the classroom.

      2. College parent here. I don’t think they know how to take notes. Their teachers in high school never lectured—they spent all their class time working on group projects—so they never learned how. They don’t really have lectures in college either. In college they buy the e-textbooks and are required to do the reading before class and are quizzed for comprehension at the beginning of class. Then they spend class time in discussion or working on assignments instead of having a lecture. This is exactly the opposite of how I learned technical subjects like math and economics, where I did the reading after class because it was easier to learn from the lecture and then the reading reinforced it. (For philosophy and literature I did the reading in advance because you had to have done the reading in order to understand the lecture.) This delegation of teaching to ebooks is not working for my student.

    2. My senior in college takes abundant notes, possibly because I used to teach Educational Psychology at the college level and preached the power of note taking. I also think they have found it helps with their ADHD. They are doing great (aside from first year, which was a little bumpy and led to said ADHD diagnosis).

      1. I think recorded lectures/sharing slides is also to blame for this. They feel like they can just passively absorb, or not attend at all and go back.

        1. Yeah, it’s this. To some extent, I think that’s a good thing. I’d rather have my students actively listening than scrambling to mindlessly write down everything I say, which I used to see a lot of. But not taking any notes probably takes it too far, and it’s definitely important to go over the notes after and process in your own way, not just regurgitating my words or you won’t actually understand or retain it.

          1. I feel like the typers just transcribe and I’m not sure that that helps (doubly-so any AI transcribing). And it’s noisy and distracting to the rest of us.

          2. It’s hard for me to process and retain information I just hear; I need to read it or write it. When I was in school, I took a ton of notes and didn’t ever necessarily reread them, but they helped me retain lectures. I do the same thing in meetings at work now to avoid spacing out. So don’t judge your students writing down everything you say too harshly!

    4. My HS freshman takes notes and will also outline/highlight in a textbook. He was one of the last grades in his middle school that learned cursive and was taught to take notes by hand in the lower grades. It makes a HUGE difference in retention/focus and we’re hearing teachers ask kids to do more note taking. Unfortunately with the learning loss that happened in the lower grades and slipping requirements I can understand how handwriting/notetaking skills have slipped down in importance.

    5. I still take notes with pen and paper in a lot of work meetings. I like not having to organize all my notes and just have them in chronological order, in an easy-to-flip-through notebook. If I were to type notes and was looking at my second screen, other people in the (remote) meeting would probably think I was working on another project and not listening.

    6. I’m a professor (traditional undergrads) and my students all use eresources (including ebooks and notes) whenever possible… I’ve actually started requiring handwritten in class exercises and a handwritten notebook, as an antidote… I also tell them all about the research about handwriting improving memory, etc. We’ll see how it goes!

      1. It’s not just writing by hand that improves retention–the act of synthesizing the material into notes also assists with learning.

        With professors who rely on slides, my favorite method of note-taking is to print out the slides and annotate them by hand.

      2. When I was in grad school, after all students had laptops, one crusty old professor held up a spiral notebook on the first day of class and said, “The way you will learn this subject is to buy two of these. You will bring one to class and take notes by hand. Then you will go home and transcribe and synthesize those notes into the second notebook. This is the only way you will succeed in this course.” And he was right.

        1. That’s pretty much what I did all through college and law school. Except I didn’t have a second notebook — I went home and typed my handwritten notes on my fancy portable Smith-Corona electric typewriter!

    8. It’s a skill that parents and teachers have dropped the ball on teaching. Some kids will do just fine without note taking skills, others will suffer, just like happens in previous generations with whatever learning style was in vogue at the time.

      1. Note-taking should be taught in school. I am sick of schools’ shifting all of the responsibility for teaching to parents. After age 5 my child did not want to learn anything from me, and I’m pretty sure that one reason she refuses to take notes is that I tried to convince her to do it.

          1. Well, I pretty much had to teach my kid everything because schools don’t teach anything anymore. When I was a kid they taught note-taking, and how to use the library, how to outline a paper, how to write a draft, how to edit it, how to cite sources. I had to teach my kid all these things. What about kids whose parents don’t know or don’t have time to teach this stuff?

    9. An increasing number of faculty at my institution are banning technology more advanced than a pen and paper in their classrooms (including having to write final papers longhand)–some have even been in STEM fields, which I wouldn’t have expected. The students I’ve spoken to about it said it’s a tough adjustment but that they’ve ultimately come to appreciate it. If I was faculty, I’d be going that route.

      1. I can see trying this, but is it not met with a flood of accommodation requests? Or does that all work out too?

        1. With the caveat that I don’t work on that side of the house…I did manage accommodations requests in a prior role (not at this institution) and I would estimate that 95%+ of accommodations would be easily accommodated in this format. The large majority of the accommodations I saw were for things like reduced distraction testing environments, extended time on tests, notetaking support (which could be provided through a copy or scan of a classmate’s handwritten notes), modification of deadlines or attendance policies, etc.

          The challenges would be for students who use adaptive or assistive technologies (e.g., speech recognition software). My guess is that those are handled on a case by case, student by student and class by class process.

          1. That’s helpful to hear. I wonder if things are just changing from back when technology was being encouraged more!

        2. unfortunately yes there are a flood of accommodations — and we don’t get to decide on whether they are reasonable, that’s decided by a separate office (that generously hands out the “laptop use” accommodation)

    10. Many years ago, my son was working with a specialists on his dsylexia and a few related conditions, and I remember them telling me that the act of writing notes from a lecture or a blackboard was a way to imprint information on the mind – it is definitely a learning technique. We had to find something else for him, because his learning issues made taking notes interfere with his learning, instead of helping it.

  4. Has anyone ever joined a gym run by a celebrity? A local woman (from here, but flies all over the world for a niche sport) started one that I’m curious about. I’m star-struck enough to be simultaneously intimidated by the possibility of seeing her, and also expect I would be disappointed she is probably just a business owner.

    1. So you think that she would be good at running a business?

      It’s often said that being a good athlete doesn’t make someone a good coach. That would apply in spades to being a business owner.

    2. I used to go to a CrossFit run by a (very) local celebrity. It contributed to the cliquey feel of the gym. She was almost never there and when she was, she was surrounded by her BFFs who always got the best spots in the gym and were dating (read: having affairs with) the hottest instructors. Their Christmas parties were super entertaining. But it’s a bit tiresome to work out in that environment. I was basically invisible, including to the instructors who are supposed to be, you know, checking my form and keeping me somewhat safe when I’m doing hard stuff.

    3. Why not just do a trial class and find out?

      I used to live in a place where there were a lot of celebrities running around, and honestly their presence was mostly an annoyance.

    4. A friend of mine goes to a gym run by a niche-famous martial artist and really likes it. He seems to be super nice to the members — she’s just a normal 60-something mom and seems to be great friends with him. So I’d go ahead and give it a try.

  5. For people who have been to any of the big January finance conferences, what are women wearing?
    Clothes — pants suits? Dresses?
    Shoes — executive sneakers? executive flats (like Ferragamo Varas and Varinas)?
    And what for bags? I always wind up bringing a laptop tote around with me b/c of needing to tend to deals between meetings and panel discussions (and ditching it for a clutch for evening events).
    Have a big similar sort of conference next month.

    1. every conference i’ve been to of late provides a tote bag and that’s what everyone carries. i don’t know about finance but i’ve been to three conferences for different audiences and it’s a mix.. most dressed is pant suits or business dresses and then there are people in jeans.

      1. unless youre presenting or looking to really network i wouldn’ t too much about it.

        1. Sadly, I have to. Years of WFH and a freezing office mean that I am like a college student going on a first interview and not understanding formal-formal vs formal-fancy and going too evening or too Working Girl or too something that isn’t current. Not to mention praying that things still fit (it’s been a winter in fleece tights and very casual skirts that work in my office but no one there cares). It’s different when you have an audience. To me, at least.

          1. don’t these conferences have social media presences? look them up on Insta or Linkedin to see exactly what people are wearing this month.

            in general, law not finance, over the last few months at networking events, has been pants with flats (whether loafers, Rothy’s, or leather) and non-matching jackets. Some “cool” types in jeans and sneakers with a blazer.

    2. Sneakers with everything is over. Your list of flats seems a bit off; I would go with a more current brand and look. If you can post if you have narrower or wider feet, folks here can provide options.

      1. That would be great. I have triangular feet. Narrow heel but a normal width toe area. Many shoes can feel too narrow in the toe area (especially foreign brands), but it is very easy to walk out of shoes. I have one pair of polished leather flats (non-branded) and am kicking myself that I didn’t get a spare and more colors because it is hard to find something that works and is both comfortable and polished.

    3. I see more Gucci loafers and toteme shoes than the brands you list. Lots of LV and Goyard bags.

      1. Noted. I am a [this site] Basic B*tch and will be rocking my Rothys and my Lo & Sons laptop tote. Both are such solid and dependable products that I’m convinced that I’d spend multiples of the prices to get things that were just notably more expensive (and to be clear, leather vs recycled soda bottles on the shoes) but perhaps with not a meaningful difference in user experience.

        1. ok but you did ask for input on what others are wearing. If you don’t want to feel out of date or underdressed, why reject the advice?

    4. If you are referring to the big cap intro style events in Miami, yes, and have been going for over a decade in all of their iterations.
      Because of the location, it tends to be more colorful. Yes, plenty are from NY and wear black, but you can lean brighter than you normally dress. Also because of the huge crowds, it helps you stand out.
      The venues are typically air-conditioned, so layers are your friend. I prefer pants or long skirts/dresses so my legs don’t freeze. Not matching suiting works well, or a dress with sleeves or blazer. It’s a mix of projecting authority without being too stiff to not adapt to the venue.
      Comfortable footwear. Sneakers can be pushing it unless reall intentional. I can’t do heels but plenty of women wear them. That said, some of the networking events in the evening are on grass.
      I use totes for during the day and a smaller purse for evening.
      I don’t always have time to change between day and evening so I try to go with outfits that work for both – but others make it work.
      If it’s an event in a different city, the color palette may differ but generally the same advice of finding a sweet spot of localizing your personal style and dressing comfortably in layers still holds!

    5. I had a long comment that is either stuck in mod or disappeared
      If these are the cap intro Miami events, you’ll want to layer. Long dresses or pants with blazers. Lean into color. It will be more relaxed than NYC but you still want to convey authority, so it shouldn’t skew sloppy or too vacation.
      But it really is an endurance event, so flats are fine. As is using the conference tote during the day (but something small for evening)

  6. How do car-free renters in NYC handle liability insurance? I have renters insurance, but I can’t get an umbrella policy without an underlying auto policy. I’ve requested a “non-owner” auto policy from two brokerages but they weren’t able to help, not to mention it seems unnecessary since I don’t drive. Is this a coverage gap people just live with?

    1. What activities are you involved in that you think could lead to liability claims?

      1. Biking on NYC streets, walking our neighbor’s dog, and water or fire damage to our rented apartment are the first things that come to mind.

        1. Doesn’t your renters insurance have liability? We had a million on ours, though that might have been the max.

          1. Yes, renters insurance is limited to $1 million liability and I would like more coverage.

          2. Do you have substantial assets? No personal liability attorney is going to seek more than your $1M insurance limits unless you have a lot of assets they could easily go after.

          3. When I was deciding on policy limits I looked at which of my assets were protected by ERISA.

          4. And my understanding is that retirement accounts are exempt? We do have a lot of money in retirement accounts, but not much else, so we’ve just stuck with the million cap. Someone can correct me if I’m wrong, though, I think this could vary by state.

          5. It does not seem hard to have over $1M in assets if you live in NYC and are educated and affluent…

      2. Borrowing a car.
        Having a party where you serve alcohol.
        Lighting a candle at home (or even cooking and leaving a burner on by accident).

    2. A quick web search yielded multiple sites with links to where to buy these policies.

    3. Maybe I’m showing my ignorance, but can’t you just increase the liability limit on the renters’ policy? IIUC, the umbrella makes sense when you want to increase the limits on all of your policies; since you’ve only got the one, presumably you could just increase the limit on that one rather than getting a separate product.

    4. I have renters insurance plus an umbrella policy that I was able to get through my employer’s benefits.

      1. Similarly, many colleges have alumni benefits that include life, umbrella, etc insurance.

    5. Our umbrella policy is not at all tied to auto policy. Our homeowners policy person was the one who actually suggested it. Maybe it’s the way you’re asking for it? If you want an umbrella policy, ask the brokerages for an umbrella policy, not a non-owner auto policy.

    6. For an umbrella policy in NY state, you aren’t required to have auto insurance.
      You could also get non-owners auto insurance.

  7. Seeking gift ideas for milestone birthdays!

    1. Friend turning 50. Single, high earner at a corporate job, just renovated her urban condo, travels often, loves fabulous clothes, dining out, and drinks. She buys anything she could ever want for herself. I have no clue what to get her. Her 50th birthday party will be a multi-course dinner at a very chic downtown restaurant.

    2. Another friend turning 50 who is basically the opposite of Friend #1 except also single. Works a chill job in higher ed, has multiple cats, total homebody, bookish. May not have a party but I still want to celebrate her.

    3. My mom, turning 70. Parents are taking the extended family on a trip to a tropical all-inclusive so the actual day will be spent there. She is impossible to shop for and usually returns everything I buy her, but she does like sentimental gifts and art I’ve made her.

    Help!

    1. If anyone of them are into coffee table books, i think the new york times custom birthday books are fun. My other go-to’s are splurge items people may not get themselves, like luxury hand cream (I like soft services therplush). I also think it’s fun to do an engraved version of something you know is there favorite (like perfume). For wine people, I have done a specialty wine from year they were born.

      1. For the fancy friend there are new lipstick cases/charms by Carolina Herrera that are very cute. I also just treated myself to a pair of luxe PJs from petite plume and even my teenage boys remarked on how fancy the packaging was so that strikes me as a fun option.
        For the bookish friend I’d go with tea and a giftcard to a local bookstore.
        I’d just lean into sentiment with your mom – art, framed photo of you with her, etc.

    2. Go to flamingo estates and send a gift box with a candle and other things for the 50ths. For your mom, frame an old photo with a nice frame.

      1. Please no gift box with a candle. Nobody needs this, and it’s too generic to be a meaningful gift in this context.

          2. Oof! I was unfamiliar with the brand but now I want somebody to send me a Prinsessarta Candle!

          3. So are we all supposed to be familiar with *all* brands now? Or are we allowed to know different thing without a flippant reply? So over this “tell me you don’y know X without telling me” response.

          5. It’s still generic, just expensive too. There are people ready to take your money for generic fluff at every price point.

    3. For friend 1 and maybe friend 2, Hermes espresso/tea/coffee cups have been well received for these sorts of gifts. For the cat lover, there are some good cat themed collabs going on with the designer stores that you could get something memorable and frivolous. For mom, I would schedule a family photo session to get professional photos done at the all inclusive.

    4. 1. Are there any nonprofits she supports? This is a know your audience situation, but maybe a generous donation to an org that’s close to her heart? Otherwise, have you traveled together? Then think not $$$, but nostalgia – a framed photo or other memory re. a trip.
      2. A really, really nice throw blanket? Or a nice coffee table book if throw blanket seems to on the nose old lady. (But that’s something I’d love!)
      3. Write a heartfelt letter about what your mother has meant to you over the years.

      1. For friend 2 a fancy bathrobe is the wearable equivalent of a throw blanket. Giraffe At Home, Ugg, or Natori

      2. I’ll just say I hate donations in my name more than anything. I’ll donate where I want to. Get me nothing before you do this.

        1. +1. Unless the “recipient” asks for a donation on their behalf this is not a gift. It’s telling the person you know they’re marking a special occasion, it’s gift-worthy, but you’ve decided they have enough money that they don’t deserve a present.

        2. I totally agree! A donation to an organization feels cold and impersonal to me, and has nothing to do with a gift to ME. Don’t do a money transaction with an organization and then tell me “that’s your gift.”

          But, I’m guessing this is a “know your person” situation. I have a friend who cares deeply about causes, and has a strong passion for justice. Befriending her means being available to hear her anger, concern, and compassion on behalf of these people and causes that are intrinsic to who she is. I’m guessing she would feel very moved by a gift to one of them in her name.

        3. I would be delighted if someone made a donation in my name to an org whose mission I support, even better if it is one of the ones I volunteer for. Caveat is the giver would need to know those details, so YMMV

    5. The older I get, the less I want things. I think a beautiful flower arrangement or a nice bottle of champagne work for 1 and 2. I’m paying for a (long-overdue) family photography session for my mom’s 70th.

      1. I am your friend no 1, except not quite 50. All I want is my friends at my birthday celebration. I do not want more stuff. No hand creams or fancy candles (I have them) or anything else that would be a friend budget item. If you really want, write me a card expressing what our friendship has meant to you over the years. That is super meaningful and I would treasure that (especially over more stuff).

        1. Yes to the card – my love language is words of affirmation and a few years ago I started shamelessly asking my friends to just send me compliments instead of gifts. Getting a hand written note (or text! or whatever!) with some nice things about me is something I treasure.

        2. +1 – or can you organize everyone at the party to write a note to the person and combine them into a book? Alternately, ask everyone to send a picture with the person and make them into a book.

    6. Friend 2: go to Abe Books and find a signed first edition from an author she enjoys.

      Friend 1: what does she like to drink? This might be one for a special bottle of bourbon, wine, or champagne (think $200, not $50).

      Mom: oh do I have ideas!

      Go to one of those pottery places and make a big bowl (think, popcorn for a crowd size). Decorate the sides and insides with various things from her life that are meaningful to her: vacations she’s been on; kid/grandkid special moments; intertwined wedding rings with her wedding date underneath (assuming she’s married); if she is a sports fan, team logos; you get the idea. Do some of everything.

      Along the same lines, a quilt, if you can find someone artsy enough to make squares that are meaningful to her life.

    7. All three — fancy pajamas. People tend not to get them for themselves; they’re luxurious; they’re usable.

      1. But how do you figure out sizes for things like this? So tricky, as myself I find pajamas difficult as I am different sizes on top and bottom. Trying to buy for middle aged/older women seems to be asking for trouble. Gift receipts I guess.

          1. No, PJs are just personal. I size up 2-3 sizes because I like them that way. Every time someone gives fancy ones they’re technically my size but I never use them because they aren’t comfortable.

      2. I’m in my early 40s and disagree on this. The PJs that I wear are usually… not what friends would buy me. I have always run hot and I love being cold at night, so I wear silk negligees or silk camisole/shorts combos.

        If I’m doing a girls’ weekend, I will definitely bring something like lightweight long pants and a t shirt and just deal with being baking hot, but that’s not my preference.

    8. Are you local to any of them? Could you do a class together? Cooking, pottery, flower arranging, etc.

      What about sentimental art you’ve made for all of them?

    9. I’m still hoping to hold out for a spouse and kids, but if not I aspire to be friend #1!

    10. I have a deal with all of my friends to go to dinner or do some kind of experience with them. I don’t personally want people to get me things, but I appreciate a gift card for books or dinner out. Stuff is just so subjective and as I get older I want less of it.

  8. For safety reasons, I would like to replace my noise-cancelling over-the-ear headphones with ear buds, so I can keep one in and one out when walking outdoors in NYC. But I can’t stand the feel of anything in my ears. I already have eczema in my ears and deal with a lot of itching (which I have a prescription cream for). Would welcome ideas and brands that I might be able to tolerate. Thank you.

    2. Look at the open earbuds like Bose Ultra Open or Anker Soundcore, or the bone-conducting variety.

      1. The Bose Ultra Open aren’t bad – I also have issues with most earbuds, and while these feel kind of weird clipped onto the outside of your ears, at least you don’t feel like your head is in a bucket.

    3. My earbuds have a setting to allow ambient street noise in. Could you look for headphones with the same feature?

    4. I also do not like to have both earbuds in while outdoors, as it is dangerous not to be able to hear your surroundings well. I also have sensitive ears due to a medical problem and don’t like things in my ears. So bone conduction headphones were recommended for me. They sit behind the ear, and your ear canal is open to the world. I like them very much.

      Go to the Shokz website to see all the options. A good cheaper option is available at Costco.

      https://www.costco.com/p/-/shokz-openrun-se-open-ear-bluetooth-wireless-bone-conduction-sport-headphones/4000261878

    5. I’d look for earbuds that have a hook for over the ear, since they can therefore rest more lightly in your ear than, say, Airpods can. Powerbeats Pro are good for this as one example.

      1. I have the Powerbeats and I really like them. I hate earbuds, they do not stay in my ears and I have tried multiple brands. The Powerbeats hook over my ears and stay in place – I can even wear them while wearing my glasses.

        I mostly use them for listening to podcasts at the gym and they work very well for that.

    6. Have you tried bone conduction headphones? I have a pair of Shokz and they allow me to hear what is going on around me while also listening to music without something on or over my ears.

      2. I have shokz also, bought them from costco and they are AMAZING. I dont like to have earphones in my ears.

    7. My partner just wears one side over the ear, the other side behind or in front of the ear. The asymmetry would drive me bonkers, but it’s an option.

    9. I use one of the JLab Go Air Sport earbuds for my outdoor walks. Standard Apple airpod shapes don’t stay in my ear and I find the over the ear design more comfortable–perhaps that will help with your itching? Plus they’re cheap so it’s not a big investment.

    10. I know this is not what you ask about, but I was just today diagnosed with eczema in the ears, I did not even know it was a thing. any advice about keeping the eczema at bay? I got a prescription and am to use it. but any tips for preventing?

  9. I think that our long-haired dog and long-haired children have killed the aging Roomba. I had been disembowling her regularly. For a combo of hardwood and carpet, where cords may be around on the floor (that I don’t want to be eaten), what is good these days?

    1. I like my Narwhal, as it’s very much a “set it and forget it” machine that doesn’t require a ton of upkeep. It mops and vacuums. Also able to start it from a little screen on the dock, which means my kids that don’t have phones can stay out independently. Was researching this for my grandma recently and supposedly Roborock is another solid competitor, supposedly vacuums a little better and has better obstacle avoidance. No little base screen on that one though, so not gonna work for grandma with memory problems that can never find her phone, hence I recommended her a Narwhal.

  10. Low stakes question: Is a toast complete without taking a sip of your drink? I have a friend who clinks glasses but then puts the glass down without taking a sip and somehow the toast feels incomplete to me whey they do that. I always take a sip as part of the toast. I’m not, like, going to say anything about this and it’s not a huge deal but I’m just wondering if others have also internalized that the sip is part of the toast.

    2. The etiquette I was taught as a child is a drink after the clink. So that’s what I do. I only learned a few years ago that some people say you cannot toast with water.

      I don’t mind participating in toasting if that’s what people who I’m with like to do, but I don’t get the point either.

    5. Lots of people don’t drink but take a glass for a toast. This is just an evolution of the times.

    6. I don’t think the clink is part of a formal toast. Just raise your glass and take a sip, but not if you are the one being toasted.

    7. I mean in college people would say “7 years of bad sex” if you didn’t maintain eye contact through the toast including taking a sip. But this seems like a silly thing to worry about as a grown adult.

      1. In our circle we make it a “thing” to make eye contact with everybody. Just being silly…

        1. Same in our friend group, and I make a particular point to make big eye contact with my husband. It’s definitely silly, but what else are you going to do to maintain a touch of whimsy?

        1. This is true. To be perfectly correct, you raise your glass but don’t clink, then take a sip.

      1. But a tiny sip or even a fake one. You don’t see elegant people taking huge swigs.

    10. Fake sip is the way to go.

      A clink with no sip at all is taken as a backhanded insult in some circles and by some individuals who have nothing better to care about in their life, but somehow are in positions of respect and power and keep score based on such petty banalities as this. If you are in mixed company and care about not offending such people inadvertently, put the glass to your lips before you set it down. And if you do want to poke them, follow your friend’s lead.

    12. I grew up in Russia and was taught that it is very bad luck and disrespectful to the person being toasted to put your drink down during the toast or not take a sip right after before putting drink down. It can be a tiny/fake sip. I was also taught that you do not start drinking alcohol without toasting someone/something.

      Despite being an educated, scientifically minded adult, I am very superstitious about these things.

    13. That is what Queen Letizia doeas as she doesnt drink alcohol, she toasts but neve sips

  11. Have you tried bone conduction headphones? I have a pair of Shokz and they allow me to hear what is going on around me while also listening to music without something on or over my ears.

  12. My fellow women with duck feet: how do you buy special occasion shoes to wear as a wedding guest? I need something that’s ideally: closed-toe, doesn’t have a super skinny heel, and doesn’t have a pointy toe that mashes my feet. Black, pewter, or silver would all work. If it doesn’t look super dorky, that’s nice, but it’s asking for a lot with these parameters.

    1. I wear elegant sandals (for me, this means a small heel rather than an entirely flat shoe) or Mary Janes with a wide toe box and rounded toe (or fisherman’s sandals, if mine are relatively new and in good condition). This is the only pain-free solution for my double-wide duck feet. I also figure that I’ll look just fine from the ankles up. I do wish that Mary Janes and T-straps and fishermans would hurry up and come back in style (or at least be available at my Zappos-level price point)!

    2. In the past I would go to a department store with a real shoe salesman and buy something he picked out from some comfort brand like Sofft or Naturalizer, but I don’t think I ever found something closed toe either.

      1. If you are wearing a long dress, now I wear boots! (doc martens or platform boots that are vaguely shimmery and black). Otherwise I wear a big block heel but those do tend to be open toe.

        1. I think even with shorter dresses, the right sparkly dress boots can work especially in winter and with a heel. Just avoid looking like a figure skater on accident!

    3. Rockport Tessa in metallic finishes is my current go to. I got mine at DSW on sale. I have also had good luck with Cole Haan skimmers.

    4. The closed toe part is what makes this so hard. I’ve had to do sandals for fancy dress, because every closed toe pair I find has the pointy toe, which is no-go for me. Any chance sandals would work?

      1. Style-wise, yes, but it’s a wedding in early March. It will be cold, and I really don’t want to have bare feet.

    5. Calla is designed for bunions but their styles are also wide or extra wide, so those might work.

    6. I’ve worn both the Naturalizer Hawaii and the Naturalizer 27 Edit Shine Bow Pointed toe flat to formal events. They are both pointed toe but I sized up so it’s roomy enough in the toe box and the heel strap keeps them on my narrow heels. Both are flats so they’re comfortable enough to wear all night.

    7. I’d just get some minimalist ballet flats, preferably real leather. They’re basically as comfortable as barefoot, which I know is a no-go for many, but I prefer barefoot feel to poor fitting shoe feel. I get mine from Storehouse Flats and they’ve got tons of colors and patterns.

      I have one pair of nice shoes that I got from a full-service family owned place that carries EVERYTHING. They do custom fittings and carry weird sizes and I spent $200 on some basic brown leather pumps size 7 double wide but they fit right and have worn well over the past decade.

      1. Yeah, the strap is what I like, but these just don’t work for triangular feet. Toe box is too narrow.

    9. I’ve had good luck with Trotters. The styling can be funky so chose carefully but the wide widths stay on my duck feet. I’ve sworn off heels recently but bought the Rag and Bone Cabochon Spire Mary Jane Flat recently (and found it comfortable out of the box) and was very tempted by the Paul Green Anabele Mary Jane Flat.

      1. Strappy sandals are good too. Basically like using bungee cord to attach a sole to your feet.

  13. I know this is not what you ask about, but I was just today diagnosed with eczema in the ears, I did not even know it was a thing. any advice about keeping the eczema at bay? I got a prescription and am to use it. but any tips for preventing?

  14. Dramamine does nothing for me except make me tired. Bonine, however, is magical for this motion-sickness-prone girl. Highly recommend. And it has the added benefit of making me less drowsy than Dramamine (although still does make me drowsy).

Comments are closed.