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Updated: May 24, 2019 110 Comments · by

Coffee Break: ‘Gabrielle’ Perforated Flat

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Fun Work Flats: Corso Como 'Gabrielle' Perforated Flat 2019 Update: The Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale has started — check out all our workwear advice and Nordstrom sale roundups to make the most of the sale! Also, sign up for our newsletter to stay on top of all the great sales! The below content concerns the 2016 Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale. Corso Como shoes don't work for my feet, but a lot of people love them. (Their Del pump is consistently one of the highest rated!) These elegant flats look great — I'm always a sucker for a good perforated/cutout detail on flats. They were $99 but are now marked to $66 in the big Nordstrom sale. Corso Como ‘Gabrielle' Perforated Flat P.S. Speaking of the Nordstrom Half Yearly Sale, did you check out last week's workwear picks and weekend roundup? (L-6)

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Comments

  1. Litigation

    Posting again in hopes to receive more responses:

    For those of you who used to be litigators but have changed careers, what do you do now? How did you find a non-litigation position?

    • Anon

      My situation is probably a bit different than yours, but I clerked for a criminal defense attorney in law school and worked for her for short time after I graduated. I left after about 18 months and went to a large firm (think big law in a smaller market) doing transactional finance work. I found the job on my law school’s job board and interviewed. I got the job because I was ranked very high in law school (this firm only hires candidates in the top 10%). I ended up hating that job and have since moved in house.

    • Anonono

      I was a litigator in two ways: Big Law in NYC for a few years, then at smaller litigation firms in Chicago. So the perfectionist, all-nighter, doc-review, overstaffed case stuff at the big law job, and then the scrappier “the client doesn’t want to pay for that nonsense!” and actually going to court every day type of smaller firm litigation. And now I’m in-house in a two-person legal department at a non-profit.

      I got here by networking, and by really selling how my litigation experience would inform my job of keeping us out of litigation. I really think that any reasonably intelligent lawyer could do my job. My big law perfectionism and small law can-do attitude certainly help, but it’s law, not rocket science. More practically, the place I work posts their job openings on Indeed.

    • Kelsey

      Previously a litigator, now do a mix of commercial work and real estate transactions. I switched by learning a lot about the fields I was interested in and sending my resume and cover letter to people who graduated from the same law school and/or were heads of departments of the fields I was interested in switching into and expressing interest in speaking with them about their practice area. So, basically trying to get informational interviews and networking. It worked, but it required for me to take a couple of years hit on my level, which was fine by me.

    • MaryinTexas

      I litigated Labor & Employment cases and now I work as an in-house attorney for a Fortune 10 company…and I LOVE IT!! Great work, not crazy hours, and fantastic pay.

  2. Nonprofit

    A coworker and I were looking for a place to donate some suits. We’d like to take them to a place like Dress for Success or another organization that helps women in need prepare for job interviews and the like, as opposed to Goodwill. We learned that our city doesn’t have Dress for Success, or anything comparable, and now we are toying with the idea of starting a similar organization.

    Has anyone done something like this? We work full time and can’t make this a huge time-consuming project (which I realize may prevent us from doing it at all), but we could put a few hours per week into getting something running. Two of us are involved in other community organizations where we could ask women to donate workwear, so supply would not be the main concern– I’m more curious about what we could set up without having to work (or pay someone to work) the retail side of it every day.

    Ideally, my city needs a small location that’s open a few days a week for customers, people from the women’s shelter, etc., to come find work attire. That seems a little ambitious since I can’t run something like that while working full time. Is there a happy medium? Some way to facilitate this? Thanks for any advice!

    • CPA Lady

      Maybe you could contact the women’s shelter and ask if you could do an annual professional clothing drive to donate to them? That way they could have the clothes there?

    • Anon

      An existing women’s organization (shelter, job assistance) would be a better option for this. I would start there.

    • Anonymous

      Do you have a professional organization (like a bar association) that would allow you to run something like this as a spin-off committee? My local bar association has a “Dress for Success” committee where 10-15 lawyers volunteer to host “drop off days” at their firm once a year (so 12-15 total drops off throughout the year). It’s minimal commitment for each of the attorneys (one host day a year), but it means that project gets to be on-going all year. The donated clothes can also go to a women’s shelter as donations, rather than adding a middle man to store and facilitate the distribution.

    • Anonymous

      There is an organization in my area that provides prom dresses to low-income girls. It is run by high-school students in a vacant mall space that they negotiated – probably through connections, but not that hard to do considering that they are only active before the prom season.
      High school students are desperate for volunteer hours and those in marketing or fashion merchandising would be willing and helpful in running the organization you have in mind.

    • Anonymous

      There is an organization in DC called Suited for Change that sounds much like what you’re talking about forming. It has a very small staff (like 3 employees) and is run mainly by volunteers. Maybe you could contact them and find out how they’re structured and what kind of a time commitment is involved? I have a friend who is on the Board and she might be willing to share her experience with you.

      • I'm Just Me ....

        Love that organization. When I lost 60+ pounds, I donated all of my larger size professional clothing to them. The very sweet volunteers gave me a tour of their facility and explained how they worked. It was obvious how dedicated they were to helping women. I also donated cash to them afterward, and will continue to support them.

    • Elle

      If you have a Junior League in your area, you might contact them to see if they would be interested in having that as a project. Sometimes they aren’t currently seeking new projects, but I know that some Junior Leagues do a “Dress For Success”-type project.

  3. Two Cents

    We are moving to an apartment and have been told that if we provide the paint, maintenance will paint the common area (either just an accent wall or a few walls of the living room).

    How does one go about choosing a wall color? The options are overwhelming. I’m thinking nothing too bold but I don’t need beige either.

    In terms of our existing furniture, we have lots of dark brown wood, a charcoal sofa, and some dark orange chairs. Would a light gray work well?

    If anyone has ideas or even better yet, specific colors I would be really appreciative.

      • Two Cents

        Thanks. :) I actually think I would prefer a more medium gray. Any suggestions?

        • Anon

          Check out a blog called Style by Emily Henderson. She has at least one post specifically on gray shades, and many posts on go-to wall colors in all different shades. I like Benjamin Moore Gray Owl, which I think is one of her recs.

          • SA-litagor

            Love Benjamin Moore Gray Owl, painted it all over my house and it’s awesome.

    • Jules

      I have Behr Double Click (the painter/primer in one, from Home Depot); it is a soft medium gray. I love it and get lots of compliments. I have a charcoal sofa and the other furniture is ash gray wood or black, the rug is “wasabi” green, it looks great. I think it would work well with your colors.

      You could also consider a soft green, depending on how orange the chairs are. I have another Behr color, Lima Green, in my kitchen, that I really like.

      • Anonymous

        +1
        We have Mindful Gray all over our house, and I love it. We have a lot of dark brown wood and charcoal furniture. No orange, but I think it would work with that. I wanted more of a statement for our dining room, and we have white wainscoting that lightens it up, so we went a few shades darker for that room and used Dovetail Gray (which is in the same family as Mindful Gray). I love how it looks in that room but would definitely not want something that dark on all our walls.

      • JJ

        Most of our house is Mindful Grey. Love it. Dark floors, white trim, and white kitchen.

      • Anonymous

        We also have Mindful Gray. It looks great in our kitchen, which has espresso cabinets, cream counters, stainless appliances and white trim.

      • Anonymous

        Mindful Gray is the main color of our house. I love it. Perfect shade of gray.

    • Dulcinea

      You could also try a very pale blue. We have Blue Veil by Benjamin Moore in our bedroom, and sheer white curtains, and the room constantly has this beautiful, cool glow to it… very tranquil. Reminds me of light streaming through the trees in a peaceful forest with a stream. Seriously, I love it that much. To get the most of the color, prime with pure white first. Not sure if the mgmt company will take instructions that specific though.

  4. My new hero

    Today I learned about a female plaintiff’s employment attorney who has her own decade long fight (sex discrimination) against Mintz Levin. She has hit so many road blocks along the way but has kept fighting, knowing she was right, and had them overturned. Mintz even made a bar complaint against her for gathering documents to support her case while still employed. Bar counsel initially recommended a 30 day suspension but the hearings committee rejected that and found she did nothing wrong. Today, the Mass Supreme Judicial Court reversed the summary judgment order that had been entered against her. I really hope her fight has or will change things for other female lawyers to come after her. If there is any chance that she read here, thank you.

    http://www.mass.gov/courts/docs/sjc/reporter-of-decisions/new-opinions/11901.pdf

    • Ellen

      Yay Kat and Kate! I love perforated Flat’s, especially in the summer, b/c our feet get very warm and the perforation’s help keep our feet cooler then they normally would be. I can NOT wear these to court, but I could wear them around the office or in the subway on the way to court. Let me check with the manageing partner, but thank you for pointeing these out to us!

      As for the OP, it is sad that there is this litiegation with a female who has a probelem with Mintz Levin. My freind know’s a woman Partner at Mintz Levin, so I know the firm can’t be that biased against us as female’s, but I will reserve judgement until after the case is decided. So FOOEY for now.

      I think the lesson for ALL of us is to be “feminine but forceful”, meaning that we use our assets, but stand up for our rights. I don’t think the HIVE really has caught on to this mantra, which Dad and the manageing partner both subscribe to. To the extent we as HIVE lawyers stick together, we can surmount any obstacele and make the law firm’s respect us as women and NOT objectify us for being attractive. I think all of us can repeat this mantra, and if we do, we will ALL suceed! YAY!!!!

    • Anon in Boston

      Thank you for posting this. It’s important that we know who the sharks are and watch out for them.

      Even if she was not able to prove that her firing/discrimination was not pretextual, the brief shows that Mintz was very interested in protecting its reputation, and not very interested in hearing its female associates’ reports of inappropriate behavior at work. Not good. You can’t fix a culture if you won’t even acknowledge it’s there.

    • Anon for this

      Wow, thanks for sharing this. I’m interested in this on multiple levels – I do L&E work where employees gathering info often is an issue, I am fascinated that she has been pro se in this case and, mostly, because I summered at Mintz Levin’s DC office a long, long time ago. I got an offer and would have taken it in a heartbeat, I really loved it, but ended up moving post-clerkship because DH was an academic and got a tenure-track job elsewhere. But wow!

    • Anonymous

      Thanks for sharing (even though I kind of suspect you are her). That opinion was pretty eye-opening. I’m a little horrified (but not all that surprised) that even after multiple women complained about certain partners nothing was done to them.

      • OP

        I’m not her. I belong to a professional association that she also belongs to that is acknowledging her win today. I ended up thanking her directly through that group. I only posted under a different name to keep all my prior years of posts here anonymous.

        • OP

          I also want to add that she’s not even tooting her own horn. Probably because her case still has a long way to go. I didn’t even know about it until today when another lawyer in the group told everyone about her success.

  5. Anon2day

    Piggybacking off a few comments that were late in this morning’s thread: Has anyone gone from a litigation practice with a firm to practicing as a solo in a transactional capacity (think business / contracts / employment law advice, and potentially estate planning)? If so, interested in comments about your experience. Pitfalls and words of advice?

    Some background: I’m in a relatively tightly-knit community and have a lot of support and a few referrals a month from acquaintances in my neighborhood for transactional work/estate planning work. I often, however, have to turn that work down because of my very active litigation docket at my firm. With two preschool aged kids, I am starting to daydream about a more flexible work schedule and getting away from litigation for a more predictable work schedule and, frankly, more free time for comparable money (I am at a mid-sized firm in a mid-sized southern city, and pay is undoubtedly below market at my firm.) If my math is right, it seems I could work significantly less (like 30% of current billable hours) and make approximately the same money if I were out on my own…. tempting!

    Any thoughts / misconceptions / things to think about?

    • Anonymous

      You are thinking about being self-employed, yes? There is a lot of non-law stuff involved in that (accounting, taxes, marketing, admin filing/mailing, etc) that will eat into your work time, so be sure you are factoring that part in as well. You won’t have the support staff you have at your firm, unless you pay for it – so either it eats into your time or your profits.

      • Anon2day

        Thanks. I’ve considered most of these things, but I’m curious how much support staff you really need for a transactional practice. I use my legal assistant and paralegals primarily for drafting / responding to discovery and litigation records management (paralegal) and filing / entering my billable time into the accounting software (legal assistant). Admittedly I imagine there are uses for paralegals and legal assistants in a transactional practice, but I am having a hard time seeing why I couldn’t just draft contracts and wills on my laptop. Invoicing for that type of work also seems fairly straightforward (not the 8 hours worth of 0.1s and 0.2s that make up my current billable days). Between a relatively low fee for a web-based document management system and some basic billing software – it’s hard for me to imagine it getting to overwhelming. But maybe that’s because I am currently billing 225 a month – so if I work 80 hours a month and even spend another 40 on this type of stuff a month…. I am still working just a little more than half as much. Unrealistic?

        Marketing/networking will take some time, yes. I enjoy those functions but they are time-eaters. Agree.

        • Anon

          Well, let’s see. I was a transactional corporate paralegal in biglaw that regularly billed upward of 2200 hours a year before I went to law school to become a transactional associate, so…there was plenty of work for me. And very little of it was administrative, because I had a secretary of my own to do that for me.

          When you say transactional work, what do you envision? Setting up businesses? M&A? Securities? Day to day company rep work?

          For setting up a business, do you understand the tax implications of S-corp versus C-corp versus LLC versus partnership? Do you know how 83(b) elections work? Do you know how to fix a blown 83(b)? Do you understand the benefits of a seed round versus a convertible round? Do you have form documents to help your clients do a seed round or a bridge round? Do you know what’s market for early-stage financings?

          For securities – Do you understand offering and sale regulations well enough to answer client queries about their offering materials or hiring a broker? Do you understand blue sky and how to actually make filings for your clients to comply with it? Do you understand IRC 409A and periodic common stock valuation? Do you know how to manage a cap table and calculate fully diluted stock? Do you understand how to manually run vesting on an option or a whole spreadsheet of options? Set up an option plan? What if an optionee is located abroad? Do you understand Reg S? Would you know the standard vesting schedules and acceleration provisions for a C-level executive versus a rank-and-file employee? Do you k now what is market for an option grant depending on the stage of a company and the level of the employee? Do you know how to file documents on EDGAR? Get EDGAR Codes for a filer? Modify or retrieve lost EDGAR codes?

          With respect to M&A — Do you know what’s market for bankers’ fees in the area for the size of business your client wants to sell? Do you have contacts to the types of bankers or business brokers that do this? Do you know how to negotiate the minutiae of an asset purchase agreement or a stock purchase agreement? Would you understand a buyer-friendly versus a seller-friendly versus a neutral draft of those types of agreements, or would the nuance go right over your head? Do you understand contract drafting, not just in general, but specifically with these types of agreements? Do you understand charter provisions well enough to calculate payouts for liquidation preferences in the event of an M&A exit? (<–The spreadsheets for this can be particularly nasty and complex).

          Honestly, at this point, I think you are fantasizing that you can do litigation, so "you'll be fine" doing transactional work.

          Transactional work isn't rocket scients, but it's a really arrogant to imagine that because you know one area of law, you will be more than minimally competent at another area of law. I don't pretend to know how to file briefs….you shouldn't pretend to know how to do corporate work. Where are you going to get precedents for all of this? Very little transactional work is drafted completely from scratch. How would you even have the expertise to know whether a precedent is decent or not?

          /endrant

          • anon

            Touchy, much?

            I know people who have done exactly what anon is proposing, coming from litigation. It’s worked out fine for them.

          • Anon2day

            There is a range of transactional work. I don’t think there was ever an implication that I would do work I didn’t feel qualified to do. Frankly, I do have previous experience in many of the areas you mentioned areas before litigation took over my docket the last few years, but you also always have the option (and obligation) to refer out work you don’t feel competent to undertake. I understand where you are coming from, but given the range of transactional work and the ability to farm out work you don’t want/ feel competent to undertake – I don’t see a problem here.

          • Emmer

            Wtf. She said she had experience in certain areas already. How did you jump from a concern about not knowing the business-running side of things to thinking that she suddenly wants to do biglaw-level securities and M&A work on her own?

    • Anon

      I would also add that malpractice premia for solos are very high. You cannot control your workload when you are a solo, and there’s no one to “cover” you for vacations or busy times–it’s sink or swim alone.

      And also, it’s unrealistic to think that you would have a “flexible” schedule because you’re doing transactional/estate planning work. Those are clients that want things done quickly and at their beck and call. Deals are unpredictable. And, frankly, if you do lit, are you even well-versed enough to do transactional/estate planning work? Those seem like apples and oranges to me, but I am strictly transactional, so, maybe your practice/skillset is more varied.

      I would also consider whether you enjoy the social aspect of work–being _all alone_ with no one to bounce ideas/strategies off of can be very different.

      • Anon2day

        Thanks for your comments! Are you a solo? I’m curious from your knowledge of premiums for malpractice for solos – had not heard that.

        The flexibility I’m thinking about really comes from the idea of working about 100-150 hours (inclusive of administrative type stuff) a month versus 225+ While some deals certainly have deadlines, most people have waited 10 years to get their wills done before they ever call a lawyer – I have a hard time thinking a reasonable person has to have it done yesterday if they’ve put it off that long already (and maybe if they are that unreasonable, I don’t need them as a client). The idea essentially would be to not take more work than I could realistically be comfortable with – you can, in fact, turn down clients if you don’t have capacity / don’t want additional work as a solo, right? And yes, while my practice has evolved to be almost exclusively litigation As I mentioned, I am now turning down my transactional referrals b/c my litigation docket is so unforgiving and frankly – I don’t need more work and am already working around the clock! If I could get out from under the litigation stuff, I’d love to grow my transactional book and refocus on some of those skills.

        The aspect of being alone is somewhat a concern – will have to think more about how I could remedy that. I walk the introvert/extrovert line. While I am comfortable alone and need some alone time – it could get tiresome.

        Thanks again – all good comments!

        • lucy stone

          I think your premiums may depend on your practice area and location. My husband is a solo in the upper midwest and his premiums are in the lower four figures, but he does criminal defense which it does not sound like you’d be interested in. His workload is garbage – he’s happy, but 50 hours a week is a low week for him.

    • anon

      “(think business / contracts / employment law advice, and potentially estate planning)”

      These areas of law are wildly different. The only thing they have in common is that you have identified them as areas that have non-litigation components. What type of litigation do you do? I think you’re putting too much emphasis on the fact that you think “transactional law” and “litigation” are are different and come with super different lifestyles. What you really need to be doing is thinking about what area of law you want to specialize in.

      I do not consider myself a transactional attorney, but my practice area has a lot of transactional work AND litigation. I used to do only litigation. I used to think that litigation was the brutal schedule and that transactional work was a steady 8-6:30 job. Nope. When deals are hot, you are working around the clock. The turn around times are much shorter. Now, having 30 days to prepare a response brief or 6 months to complete discovery seems like a life time. FWIW, the language our M&A group uses is largely gibberish to me. I advise them on issues in my very specific niche- I cannot imagine trying to learn everything they know so that I could have a successful practice.

      “The idea essentially would be to not take more work than I could realistically be comfortable with – you can, in fact, turn down clients if you don’t have capacity / don’t want additional work as a solo, right?”

      Ha. How do you handle it when a matter seems small but then turns into something huge? Or two matters get super busy at once? You can’t know that in advance, and you can’t fire the client or put their work off when you get too uncomfortable.

      Is there a practice group at your current firm that could handle the work you are turning down? If so, refer it to those attorneys and get the origination credit.

  6. ANP

    Hi ladies — hope all of you had a great holiday weekend. Need some advice: I am down to my last ten pounds left to lose. This will get me to a healthy, in-a-good-spot-for-me weight (and is about 7% of my current weight). I have come this far thanks to Weight Watchers, general portion control, and SOME workouts, though definitely not as regular as I’d like (I have 3 kids under age 6, including an 11-month-old baby…which means I’m tired allllll the time).

    What are your best tips for losing those last really hard pounds? This isn’t water weight or anything like that. I do better on eating plans/guidelines (not diets — I hate that word) and eating treats in moderation vs. giving them up entirely. So for example, I don’t want to live in a world without an occasional glass of red wine. Every night, no, but certainly 1-2/week.

    I’ve alternately been a runner and have started (but have never really progressed with) NROLFW. I’m also interested in the workouts that you find most effective. I’m dying to try a barre class but there aren’t any in my small town. I do have access to a well-equipped gym, however. All thoughts welcome!

    • bostonanon

      so this sounds silly because the name of the workouts are idiotic (bikini body guide) but I use the workout that kayla itsines (that instagram workout superstar person) put out. I don’t pay for the app or anything, but a friend emailed me the PDFs of the workouts. Basically they are HIIT bodyweight exercise combos focusing on different body parts (legs, upper body) around 3x a week and cardio for 2 other days. I really like them because they are QUICK (I do ~30 mins) but very high intensity, get my heart rate up, and noticeably build muscle despite it not being very heavy weight lifting. I used to do crossfit but I have neither the time nor desire to spend $150 a month on it anymore and this has been a very easy substitute.

      • bbgnewbie

        What great timing, I’m actually starting BBG today! I was skeptical about all the Instagram reviews but it’s nice to know that it is effective. I got mine free so no harm if I decide I hate it.

    • Barre Bust

      I tried barre class (for a week, 4 classes) and I was underwhelmed, mostly because they totally skimped on the stretching. There were points during the workout for stretching, but never felt like I had enough time to really get the stretch I needed. That could be particular to the instructor/studio I was at, but something to keep in mind.

      I acknowledge that it’s better than nothing in terms of getting you exercising, but the conclusion for me was that weight-lifting and yoga were probably a better mix.

      • ANP

        So do we think yoga and weightlifting are the way to go, or is there some better way for me to get impact in a short amount of time (like the HIIT routine mentioned above)?

        • Barre Bust

          From what *I* know, building muscle is supposed to increase you metabolism, yes? I’d start with that, before adding more cardio to your routine. The New Rules for lifting take 20-40 mintues per session, right? Ultimately, do whatever you are going to stick with and will challenge you.

          Disclaimer: I am not a personal trainer.

    • Anon

      If you want to try a barre class, there are now quite a few videos out there that may be worth a try if you can’t get to a studio (Bar Method, Barre Xtend, Barre Amped, etc – tons of reviews on Amazon). Personally I’m a fan of Ballet Beautiful, which are mainly floor exercises.

    • Anon

      This is what has worked for me: for a week or two counting calories. every single thing to get an idea of what I am eating. Then subtract an amount from what I am currently eating–a couple hundred or so. Also use some of the online calculators as a guide. Then figure out meals and snacks to fit in this range. I tend to eat the same things for breakfast and lunch so this is easy for me. (Oatmeal or eggs for breakfast, salad or smaller portion of dinner leftovers for lunch.) Low sugar and low carb help me stay within my calorie goals, but I still eat dessert at least once a week. I try to focus dinners on high protein and high vegetables–so salmon with asparagus and sweet potato, or grilled chicken and zucchini and corn, fajita salad with guacamole, ground turkey tacos with salsa, frittatas and salad. Stuff like that.

      As for exercising, Jillian Michaels 30 day shred is really effective for me. I also like to add in some pilates, yoga, kickboxing, and barre workouts. All on youtube. I try to get outside for a run at least once a week, but this is hard to coordinate with my husband’s work schedule and my tiredness, haha. (I also have 3 kids.)

    • Emmer

      I do not think barre workouts are an efficient use of your time if you have limited time to devote to exercise – you can get a better burn in less time if you up the intensity. As others have said, HIIT is the way to go. Jillian Michaels and Fitness Blender are great places to start.

    • MDMom

      I am doing NROLFW (workouts only, not diet) and love it. We bought a weightlifting set and put in basement so it’s as easy as possible to fit in workouts. Im still about 5 lb over my pre pregnancy weight last I checked but I don’t care at all. My arms have visible muscles now. I love it way more than any cardio I’ve ever done. It makes me feel good about my body again. I think you need to find a workout that makes you feel good, whatever that is for you. Cardio and lifting are good for weight loss. Yoga is not as good bang for your buck if you have limited time, but most important is to do what you enjoy. I like dance workouts and lifting. You can also buy a pedometer and try to increase your activity level on days you don’t workout.

      Diet wise, cut out alcohol and soda if you haven’t already. Those are big impact makers. Otherwise you just have to continue to make good choices over time and be patient. Pack lunch instead of eating out. All those little things. How long has it been since you were at your goal weight? If it was approx 6 yr 9 months ago, just know it will probably be a slow process for a lot of reasons. You can get there, just probably not quickly.

      • ANP

        Thanks gang! All of this is really helpful. I was at my goal weight about 4 years ago — so awhile, but hopefully not too bad. Your tips are great…as are the reminders about patience/perseverance.

    • Meg Murry

      When I was hitting a plateau in Weight Watchers way back when, one of the more effective things for me to do was to stick to their “core” eating plan – which was basically South Beach-ish (fruits, non-starchy veggies, lean proteins, lower fat dairy) plus 1-2 servings of starchy carbs a day (slice of bread, baked potato, serving of rice or pasta, etc) and then a certain number of points (35? or 45? of the “old” points per week) for treats like starchy carbs, wine, ice cream, etc.

      When I make myself stick to it, it works well for me, because my biggest downfall is carb-y snacks like cookies or pretzels, or having a whole meal of pasta+creamy sauce – so knowing I can have some treats but not to excess helps me keep things in moderation.

      If you google “weight watchers core plan” you can see the old information and the lists of what was allowed on the Core plan.

    • Pesh

      This might sounds counter-intuitive, but whenever I hit a plateau, I up my calories by quite a bit for a day and it really helps. I usually notice I’m down the next day or am not as “stuck” weight wise after. I feel like your metabolism starts to get used to your diet and this helps wake it up.

  7. portugal anon

    Hello Ladies! Has anyone here been to Portugal and have any tips or must-sees to share? My boyfriend and I will be there for 10 days in August – flying into Lisbon, but thinking about spending part of the time in Porto, Lagos or Seville.

    • bostonanon

      I really did not enjoy Porto very much – it felt small, dingier and just generally not as interesting as Lisbon. However, it was also the tail end of our trip and we were very tired so that may have colored the experience. Lisbon was great. Fantastic food, go to belem and see the monastery and eat the delicious egg tarts. We also went down to the Algarve shore which I highly recommend, but NOT albufeira (hilariously it full of brits on vacation and super touristy bars/restaurants that cater to them) – try one of the smaller towns which are very charming. Flying between Portugal and Spain is pretty quick. In Spain there’s just a whole host of other things to do but I really liked Seville and Granada (the alhambra is incredible). In Seville, the alcazar (summer palace) is really incredible and also where dorne is filmed for game of thrones. Catch a flamenco show and just enjoy the nightlife. I’ve also heard that Sintra is really lovely but we did not have time to fill it in – I think if you decide whether or not you want to stay in Portugal most of the trip it could make a difference. Personally if I could re-do it, I would do 3 days Lisbon/settling in, 3-4 on the algarve coast maybe exploring 2 different smaller towns, and 3 in Seville. Do be careful in Lisbon – we did get pickpocketed on the tourist trolley but luckily it wasn’t a big deal.

    • Anon

      Sevilla will be incredibly hot that time of year. LIke stiflingly hot. I would instead go to Cordoba and also Granada for the Alhambra (book in advance). Malaga is also lovely and is in that neck of the woods.

      For Portugal, Porto is gorgeous but taking a trip up the Douro to see how Port is made might be a cool side trip. Porto has great port tasting rooms (recommend Taylor Fladgate).

      You might want to look into Spain’s paradores nacionales, which are Inns of note (often in castles or cool historical structures) and look into staying nearer the beach if you do Spain–it will be VERY VERY VERY hot there at that time. LIKE CRAZY HOT.

      Also, side note, since this is a fashion blog, that part of Southern Spain is famous for its leatherwork, so it’s a great place to get belts, purses, wallets, shoes, etc for crazy cheap. You will be the height of fashion!

    • da fora

      Hm, think my comment got eaten, good thing I’ve gotten in the habit of copying all posts longer than two sentences before I post them…

      I studied abroad in Lisbon back in the day and I miss it so much! There’s lots of sightseeing to do in Lisbon: the Monastery of the Jeronimos in Belem; take in all the views from the Castle of Sao Jorge; enjoy more views and a glass of wine at the cafe on the Miradouro de São Pedro de Alcântara. The Monastery of Sao Vicente da Fora is my favorite spot–they have some of the most impressive tilework in the city, plus an amazing little bougainvillea-draped cafe and a great street market (the Feira da Ladra) on certain days. Make sure you take the 28 tram through the Alfama (be careful with your bags, though). Baixa is the cool neighborhood with all the restaurants and bars. I’m not sure I’d recommend staying there because it can get noisy, but definitely make sure you hang out during the day as well as at night. There are tons of great little boutiques. It’s outside of the center, but I can’t recommend the Jardim de Estrela enough: go and grab an ice cream while you stroll. Make sure you also do a day trip to the Palacio da Pena in Sintra. For shopping, don’t miss Zara (prices are discounted in Spain and Portugal) and El Corte Ingles for the Spanish version of Nordstrom (but so much more).

      Restaurants that always stand the test of time are Chapitô (up towards the castle; you’ll probably need a reservation for peak days) and Martinho Da Arcada (right in the Praça do Comércio; get the seafood rice).

      Overall, I really recommend that you hit the pavement and be ready to do some walking–Lisbon is HILLY but a lot of its best parts are tucked away in little nooks and crannies that you have to get kind of lost to find. The metro is solid and will take you where you need to go, but Lisbon rewards people who put forth the effort.

    • da fora

      I think I might be stuck in moderation? I have a long comment on Lisbon queued up somewhere.

      • da fora

        I would also recommend checking out Porto. It’s a different vibe from Lisbon, but very cool in its own way. Definitely spend a day or two touring the Douro vineyards, and make sure you do a few port tastings. I wasn’t a huge fan of Lagos, and would second the recommendations to check out some of the smaller towns on the Algarve instead.

        For Spain, Sevilla would probably be brutal with the heat. I’ll also +1 Granada, and will raise you Valencia if you’d like to try something beachy that’s off the beaten path for most US tourists, but so worth doing. If you’re really open to suggestions, also check out Santiago de Compostela and A Coruña in Galicia–the weather would be absolutely fantastic when you’re going, and it’s a part of Spain that not too many people bother checking out. Also, more wine!

    • Min Donner

      Lisbon is wonderful, and da fora’s recommendations are spot on. One of the highlights of my trip a few years ago was a day trip to Sintra. It’s easy to take the train out, and there are amazing villas and palaces and castles and ruins and views all through the hills. Since there are just two of you I wholeheartedly recommend renting a tiny two person electric “car”. It is hands down the best way to see the area. You can go everywhere, see everything, park anywhere — it’s super fun to drive, and you get to set your own schedule. Not that expensive either. There might be other options, but basically if you walk out of the train station and turn left and walk down the street a few hundred yards there is a small parking lot with a kiosk where they rent the cars (pass by all the hop-on hop-off and tourist tours along the way). The cars have GPS navigation for different routes, including narrated information about what you’re passing. We were there off season, so if you’re going during high season you might want to make a reservation. I think this is the company: http://www.sightsintra.pt/traduzido/index.html

    • Monte

      Loved loved loved Portugal when I went 8 years ago. Had a great time in Lisbon. I know I am the exception, but Sintra was by far the low point of my visit (very touristy, terrible tour guides, very Anglo). Lisbon, train down to the Algarve, and bus to Sevilla were all awesome. That said, I went early summer and August seems like a rough time to visit, at least as to Sevilla. I would reconsider and think about other Andalucian destinations.

      But getting from southern Portugal to southern Spain is easy enough that you can play it by ear — I flew into Portugal with no plans other than a return trip 10 or 14 days later. I traveled to the south, took a bus to Spain because I wanted to be in a country where I could communicate, and eventually flew back to Portugal and then the US. Awesome trip, though.

  8. Opal

    Has anyone “switched” religion? I am increasingly wanting to participate in organized religion again, at this point in my life. While I appreciate tradition and family history in my birth religion (Catholic), I find it exclusive and struggle with it for many reasons. I’m drawn toward another, like-minded faith (Episcopalian). For some reason the idea of “switching” feels like a HUUUGE move. Any perspective or anecdata out there? FWIW, I’m in a dominant, Irish-Catholic region and family.

    • Amanda

      I did just that after college (Catholic -> Episcopalian for the reasons you cited). I just started attending an Episcopalian church and that is all I did to “switch”.

    • Anonymous

      I didn’t switch – cradle Episcopalian – but my Catholic husband now considers himself Episcopalian and you’ll find lots of company of former Catholics.

      • NYNY

        DH, raised super Catholic, has been to Episcopal services with my family and calls the Episcopal church a “Catholic cover band,” so I agree with those who say it will be an easy transition.

        To me – raised in the Episcopal church, but an avowed atheist – the most important part of organized religion is finding community, so I would advise you to look for a church that feels like home to you. Are there other people in your age group/life phase in attendance? Do you like the level of formality? Does the church have an active volunteer group (if that’s important to you)?

      • Mindy

        I likened Episcopalian to Catholic-lite. My private school was Episcopalian. I was raised Catholic.

    • Pellow

      I “switched” from agnostic/no faith (and a like-minded family) to SBC, which was a HUUUGE move. Probably huger than the shift you’ll be making. The most difficult part will always be family. If your family doesn’t care or isn’t practicing and finds no issue with it, then the next most difficult (to me) was simply deciding on a new place of worship. Even within denominations/sects there are big swings in worship style and expectations. Might take a little while to find your fit unless you’ve already begun exploring, found a place you like, and are looking to make the “permanent” switch now.

    • Anon

      I am in the midst of a faith change right now. Leaving the church I was born in (LDS) and will probably be looking for a new church for the family in the fall. I was quite devout until a couple of years ago and am really not looking forward to telling my parents (who are very devout) about my decision. Good luck!

    • Not That Anne, The Other Anne

      I switched from Southern Baptist to ELCA (with a stop in the middle at LCMS). That was quite a culture shift!

      I didn’t find it too difficult because it was a gradual transition over several years. However, I am also a military brat, and as fellow brats will know, the military tends to lump everyone into “Protestant” no matter what individual denomination the chaplain happens to be. As a result, the name on the door mattered a lot less to me than the people inside.

    • Anonymous

      I’m not sure about in America, but many Episcopalian/Anglican churches in other countries will accept your Catholic baptism/confirmation and you can just start attending and take communion as you desire. SOME Catholic dioceses are starting to talk about extending the same grace to Anglicans, but I’ve not been to a Catholic church where I’ve seen it actually offered during communion. I think Catholic to Episcopalian/Anglican (and vice versa) is probably the easiest switch you could make. You’ll find most of the service and style of worship to be very familiar.

  9. Busy Bee

    Hoping to get some advice :)
    I have tried googling this situation, but I don’t see anything that is quite a match. I just found out that I am pregnant (!), but I am really only 4 weeks along, and I had a CP last month so still super early days. Meanwhile, I just got an job offer from a great company.
    In this situation, would you disclose your pregnancy? While I can see disclosing at the 12+ week mark, at this point I think it probably is not the best. It would be great to not have to worry about telling them later on, but I also think having the chance to prove myself first and then telling them, would be best. And I also just really don’t know if this pregnancy will actually work out.
    From my googling, I see a lot of scary stories, but they are generally from hourly jobs, where you are theoretically much more replaceable. I’m trying to stay positive, and I really really do not want to stay in my current role.
    Thoughts? TIA!

    • Anonymous

      Congrats! I’d ere on the side of not telling them until you start. Realistically, at 4 weeks, lots of people don’t know. It wouldn’t be weird to wait and disclose at the twelve week mark.

    • Anon

      I would not disclose unless you accept the job AND you are well past 12 weeks.

      I would inquire about their size and mat policies before I accepted the job though.

    • Meg Murry

      While I agree that it would be better to prove yourself and then disclose, do you really think you’ll be able to do much “proving” in few short weeks? After all, if you accepted today, you probably wouldn’t start for at least 2 weeks, right? So that puts you at 6 weeks. Would you be able to prove much in the first 6 weeks other than that you show up and are eager to learn? I guess that depends on your experience and seniority level.

      I’m 50/50 on this, but I might lean toward disclosing before you actually accept so that you can negotiate maternity leave, since you technically wouldn’t be eligible for FMLA – and you may not even have sick or vacation days for the first few months to use on your doctor’s appointments. But I also work in an industry where early disclosure is required based on some of the substances we work with and job duties.

      Could you simply ask to see the benefits package and handbook before starting so you can see if it explicitly spells out anything like maternity and paternity leave after 1 year or whatever?

      • Anonymous

        I agree with this. Plus, with first trimester exhaustion and nausea I’m not sure how much you would be proving yourself anyway. That varies from person to person, obviously, but I would have made a terrible impression if I’d started a new position during my first trimester and it would have been better for me to explain what was going on.

      • late to the party

        I missed reading yesterday, but I was in almost this exact situation, except I took the test after I accepted the job offer, but really, I knew.

        You need to consider the culture of the company and the benefits that you are aware of. In my case, the company prides itself on being extremely family-friendly, has a ton of work-life balance initiatives, and doesn’t really do negotiated maternity leave for people at my level, so I was reasonably confident there was nothing to be gained or lost by not disclosing when I accepted the job. I did tell my boss on my first day of work, though, when I was around 8-10 weeks. I didn’t bother to tell any of my other colleagues until I was farther along.

  10. Keys Recs

    My partner and I are headed to the Keys this weekend and will be staying 4 days. We are staying on Key Largo. Not opposed to taking day trips to other Keys, but we will not have a car. Any recs (or anti-recs) on things to see, eat or do? I’d like to paddleboard and he’d like to snorkel, but this is a pretty low key, enjoy the sun and each other trip for us.

    • Anonymous

      I think you went to the right Key for snorkeling. Pennekamp State Park on Key Largo is the best snorkeling I’ve experienced in the Keys. You have to take a guided boat tour and you’ll have to pay a little extra to rent snorkel equipment, but it’s really nice snorkeling.

  11. Anonymous

    The post about the pro se female attorney pursuing a discrimination case against her firm has me thinking…
    What kind of discrimination have you witnessed in your workplace? What’s the most outlandish story you can think of that won’t out you or your workplace (unless that’s what you want!)

    • Anon2day

      Clerking in law school: walking to a partner’s car in the parking lot to go out to lunch with the partner and a client. Client (who was riding with us) said “I will sit in the back with you so I can molest you.” UHM…. WHAT?!

      Partner at prior firm (wonder why I am not there anymore….): Upon announcing my pregnancy says “We are really going to have to start fertility testing female associates.”

    • Anon

      Sitting in a client meeting as a newbie with the two client reps and a partner. They all decided to go golfing later that week. At an all men’s golf club. Then made awkward jokes about how I couldn’t attend. Side note – I didn’t stay at that firm.

      And so many more examples….

    • Anonymous Obviously

      The opposing party’s expert witness asked me to get him a coffee while I was sitting second chair at his deposition.

    • Anonymous

      When announcing the resignation of an African American attorney, the founding partner said “it’s too bad slavery isn’t legal anymore!”

      My departure from the same firm occurred at almost the same time that 3 other women departed. We all (coincidentally) told one of the more junior partners why we were really leaving: in the practice group, there were four men who were serial sexual harassers. The junior partner told the founding partner this, and according to the junior partner (hearsay!), the founding partner’s response was: “why can’t they limit their sexual harassment to after hours?”.

    • Anonymous

      The managing partner of my current small firm commented that he doesn’t understand why a woman would want to work as a lawyer when her husband has a good job. However, this pales in comparison to the absolutely shocking things he’s said about racial minorities. I’m trying desperately to find a new job and if I can’t find anything within six months or so I think I might just quit. I cry almost every day (at home).

    • Anon4This

      I told my boss, who has three kids, including 2 <18 months apart, about being pregnant with my 3rd child, <18 months following my 2nd.

      He told me all about his vasectomy. In graphic detail.

    • anon

      Many instances of “so, are you [male partner’s] secretary?”

      From old man client: “Wow, [partner], she’s prettier than anyone [former law firm] brought us!”

      From my firm’s “women’s initiative” committee leader: “The firm selected me to head this committee because I don’t believe in women-only programs.”

      During our annual retreat’s “talent show” a very old partner called me up on stage to help him do a “magic trick” that was basically an impotence joke in front of the entire 300 person firm. He told me he thought I would like it because it was a metaphor for female empowerment.

      Not spoken to me/hearsay but… “you might have had a better billing year if you hadn’t spent so much time being pregnant.”

      and several examples of direct propositioning of women by men in supervisory roles. To put it gently.

      I’m planning to leave. And the firm pretends to wonder why it’s hemorrhaging women associates.

  12. SF Anon

    Please help! Somehow, while checking my gmail on my iphone this morning, I managed to delete my entire inbox. I don’t see it in trash and can’t see it on my computer either. If I search for something, I can find it, but otherwise nothing is visible. What did I do? Can I get everything back?

  13. NYtoCO- favorite calendar app?

    I probably need to repost this in the morning, but my favorite calendar app, Sunrise, is apparently shutting down. What is your favorite app?

    I’m looking for beautiful interface, being able to add events super easily, integrating with gmail, and easily being able to copy/paste an event (not just repeat it– Sunrise couldn’t actually do this and that was its major fault).

  14. Moving to DC

    My family and I are moving from Chicago to DC in August. Any recommendations for finding a 2-3 bedroom apartment or house to rent? Craigslist has not resulted in a lot of results. Ideally, we’d like to be on a Metro line because we have one car and keep the rent as low as possible. We have a baby and a dog, too.

    • Former DC resident

      I was never looking for anything as large as you are, so the situation might be different, but I always found Craigslist to be best when I was looking to move in no more than 45 days.

      Otherwise, you might try a broker or reaching out to large management companies/managed buildings (mostly for apartments, though I know some complexes have townhomes as well). I think either of those options would give you choices farther in advance and might also be an easier way to find 3 bedroom places. I lived and was happy in buildings managed by WRIT, Equity, Bozzuto, and Steuart while in DC/the DC area.

    • Chicago chick

      I agree with above. It is still a little early to find places.

      Do you know which train line you would like to be near (color), to get to work quickly? What is your ideal commute time?

      It is very different living “downtown” in South Loop or Gold Coast vs. further out in a more neighborhood area like Lincoln Park vs the hipster areas vs. the other family areas (eg. Lincoln Squre)?

      • Anon

        +100. Metro won’t be a realistic commute option for awhile, unless you don’t have to be at work at a specific time and don’t mind a commute over 40min with lots of crowds. Pay the extra rent to be in the district, (but not anacostia) as close to work as possible- get a smaller place maybe? and a bike/bikeshare membership

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