Suit of the Week: Cuyana

122 Comments

1. What do you struggle with that others don’t?

   I’ll start. I am terrible at hanging art, making any kind of home decor design decision (I will spiral on it for YEARS), and meal planning.

   1. Numbers (which is ironic considering my job, but Excel does it all for me), I’m super clumsy, and I have no sense of direction.

      1. I have zero sense of direction as well, and I also don’t have an instinct for left and right (I have to think about it first). I’ve always wondered if those were related…

         1. I have zero sense of direction as well. I know left and right, but I will always pick the wrong way if I am trying to get back from somewhere. Anytime I leave a hotel room to the elevator I always go the wrong way. I’ve heard it is a skill and not a innate ability so I have been trying to pay better attention but I’m still terrible at directions.

            1. I do the elevator thing too. Also trying to find my car in a parking lot.

   2. Grocery shopping. It’s like I black out. I can go in with a list and still come home with incorrect items. I shop with my husband so he can say “um, did you mean to grab that?” and I’ll look at it and be like “oh, this is yogurt, I meant to grab cottage cheese.” I promise I’m a competent adult in all other areas of my life.

   3. I can’t snap my fingers.

      But my super power is that I can make you snap your fingers by saying “I can’t snap my fingers!”

      1. I love this!

      2. I cannot do a cartwheel, never have.

      3. That wouldn’t work on me, I can’t snap either!

      4. Ha, you got me there.

   4. Spatial reasoning. I have never once chosen the right size tupperware for my leftovers, for example.

      1. hahah, this is my mom! It’s our little family joke. She is amazing at everything else but lacks spatial awareness. I find it charming.

      2. Tupperware leftover matching is one of my greatest skills!

         1. Mine, too!

      3. Lawyers in depositions often explain guess vs. estimate by telling a witness “if I asked you estimate the length of this conference room table you could” (vs. my dining room table). When I was learning to take a deposition, I always thought that was really dumb because I absolutely would get the length of the table wrong by a huge margin. I have to measure any space before buying furniture. I am so terribly tragically terrible at spatial reasoning!

         But I have an excellent sense of direction, especially if I am walking.

   5. Remembering dates. My brain just does not hold on to them/I never know what today’s numerical date is. I put birthdays, anniversaries, etc. etc. in my calendar but still send a lot of “happy belated birthday!” texts.

   6. Personal admin. Anything beyond one step just won’t happen, makes medical things very hard. Funnily I can do 50735257 step admin for work along with incredibly complex tasks. It kills my soul when people nag me about things like sending thank you cards, just way too high a barrier for my broken brain to deal with.

      1. Solidarity. Not sure how I am a successful professional who is routinely defeated by personal admin.

   7. Returning things
      Renewing my license on time
      Untangling jewelry chains

      1. Anon88, I just put five new with tags items into a thredup bag for resale because they sat in my closet for months, not being returned. What a waste of money!

         1. This has happened to me so many times I swore off online shopping!

      2. I love untangling jewelry chains! It is oddly relaxing to me.

   8. Hopping with two feet to move forward – frog hopping, I think people call it? I can hop in place just up and down. But if the assignment is to make both feet depart from the ground at the same time and jump forward, I cannot do it.

   9. Outward organization, I just keep everything in my brain or spread out in piles on the floor. I can find what I need quickly or recall information quickly, but that’s useless to anyone else. I’ve tried doing a big “spring clean” in my crafting space, with my files, etc., and within a week or two, everything is just back to my brain or the floor piles. I’m the opposite of color-coded paper planners!

   10. Doing things in the morning when I have an appointment at 1.

       1. Same. Grrr.

   11. Coping with doctors

   12. Not knocking into door frames or furniture corners. I swear I’ve hit my funny bone every single day this week. I could never have one of those low platform beds with an overhang, I’d do permanent damage or give myself a concussion tripping over them.

   13. Decluttering and cleaning quickly for myself. Not for others. This even works for tidying my kids’ room, which I can do in 20 minutes no matter how bad it is, but not for my own bedroom or living spaces no matter how minor the tidy.
       I also suck at hanging art but mostly because I cannot commit to most decisions about where to hang it and what to hang where. Weirdly, I have no problem knowing what I like and don’t so it’s not an issue with choosing.

   14. Eating regularly. It’s just such a chore and being hungry doesn’t seem to bother me as much as it does other people. Stack that with a disability and some pretty extreme financial anxiety and I often just skip myself because I’m too lazy/tired to make something and won’t order delivery because it costs too much. Is it an eating disorder? Maybe? But certainly not one that traditional resources can help.

       1. This is me. I just don’t feed myself regularly

   15. Task completion

       I can get over the hump of a thing, but need an external motivator (good or bad) to take something from 95% to 100%. I have to really get on myself. If I’m not personally worried that I could finish a thing and have no deadline or screaming person, I can just put it aside and walk away. Looking at you needlepoint from 20 years ago that is 80% done and likely warped and maybe unfixable.

   16. I am terrible at board and card games. I genuinely have trouble remembering rules and can’t strategize to save my life.

       1. Oh, same. It’s legit embarrassing.

          1. I’m so glad I’m not alone! I am really, really good at trivia but terrible at, “what’s the next move I make after this move in this game?”

   17. Names of humans. Your pet? I will remember it forever including any fun facts. Person I’ve worked out with at the gym for two years? Not a clue.

   18. Knowing where things go. I don’t know how to put away my groceries and my pantry is a wreck. I am always in awe when I see other people just put boxes and cans away, and reorganizing to fit the space.

   19. I think I am bad at all the things people have mentioned. How have I made it this far?

   20. Chit chat.

   21. I can’t lip read.

   22. Dates on paper. Every single memo that I have written for the past 15 years has had a wrong date. If I write that something will happen on Monday, May 10 it is assured that either May 10 is not a Monday or the thing is happening on May 12. And I triple check! It’s now a running joke with my team.

2. I’m buying a watch for my husband’s 40th birthday at end of November (about 1k though I’m willing to spend more). He showed me a screenshot of a specific watch that I can no longer seem to find on the official watch manufacturer website (Hamilton). I have called the most local retailer (Nordstrom) but they are not super responsive. They still have similar watches.
   Questions:
   1) I can find the EXACT watch on a grey market dealer (Joma Shop). Should I just go for that? R*ddit says it’s reliable but there’s no warranty of course. It’s also cheaper…
   2) I can find comparable watches from the official retailer. The screenshot DH showed me has a watchface that is larger than all his other watches, which makes me think he didn’t look that closely at the specs. He’s not a “watch head” like some men I know and not all that detail-oriented… so should I get a similar but not exact?
   3) Is there anything else I could investigate? I’ll be in Carmel this weekend and might ask around the rich people jewellery stores…
   Thanks for help/advice!

   1. Why don’t you ask your husband about it? Maybe it was the style he liked, not the exact watch.

   2. Jomashop is a reliable seller. Safe to buy it from them.

      Do not get a similar but not identical watch. There are many subtle differences that may not be obvious between models.

      1. Yeah, I can see like the date is in a different place on the watch face. I figured that was a big deal to a watch guy, not something that matters to me. Thanks for giving me the perspective.

   3. Why not just ask him what he wants? If you’re trying to surprise him, definitely make sure there’s a warranty/exchange/return policy.

   4. I’ve used Jomashop before for a watch a bit above that price point, and been perfectly satisfied. I’ve taken it to a reputable service facility for the brand for routine servicing, and no issues.

      1. Same.

   5. not Joma Shop but I bought a watch for my husband’s 50th birthday from a grey market site. It didn’t work. The seller told us we didn’t understand how to use it (eyeroll… it was not an especially complicated watch…). Sent it back and bought from the watch maker directly. After seeing the second watch, it was super obvious that the first was a fake. Dodged a real bullet by returning it. Just as a caution. I would personally recommend getting a similar watch from Nordstrom.

   6. I would never buy an expensive watch without a warranty. My husband and I both have watches in this price range that required warranty service.

3. Please tell me I am not being unreasonable?
   I’m the poster whose ex moved in with me without telling me or asking this past summer. He is now staying with friends (I think) in a different city while looking for a job. He had asked about a visit to see our child, and we had agreed that it would work well if he could come and see her while I have to travel for a conference. He suggested the dates (total of one week) and I was OK with it. Then he emailed me yesterday saying he booked his tickets for a two week stay, and asking if I was OK with that duration. (At least this time he asked, even if it was after he booked his tickets.) I had a visceral stress reaction at the thought of having him in my space for two whole weeks (I would only be gone for 3 nights at the conference). I remembered all the helpful commenters here who last time told me I needed to grow a backbone and use my words. So I responded saying that will not work, but the originally proposed dates of a week will still work for me. I know it irritated him and I felt a bit anxious about it, but I would feel way worse dealing with the stress of having him here for two weeks. I do feel a bit guilty because our daughter would probably love having him here for two weeks, but at some point I really need to stop having to host him in my house (I hate it so much). He doesn’t have the money for a hotel or Airbnb.

   1. You are being an adult and expecting the same from him. He took a step by asking, and it’s still on him to accept and adjust with the reality of your answer. Good job!

   2. Stick to a week. You are not being unreasonable.

   3. Be prepared that he will likely make passive aggressive comments around your child that he wishes he could stay longer and he would if you’d allow it. Do not let him make you feel bad. You are more generous than many co-parents and you are drawing a very reasonable boundary. Pre-plan your response in this situation and be consistent – you don’t need to re-explain in multiple different ways.

   4. Omg so proud of you!!

   5. Good for you!

      I think the next step is that he does not stay with you after this visit. He is an adult. He can be responsible enough to figure out a way to afford to visit your city and see his daughter.

   6. I am confused as to why you would let him into your home at all.

      1. It’s complex. I try to focus on our daughter and what’s best for her. My ex has a history of untreated depression and excessive drinking, and even though it’s better now, I feel safer when I can be around to keep half an eye on things, which means having him in the house instead of taking her somewhere. Once (before he moved out) I came back from a work trip to find him completely wasted while being alone with our daughter (who was asleep). He’s a good dad and tries to be as involved as he can, and I want to make sure she has a good relationship with him.

         1. Just FYI as the child of an alcoholic, my moms attempts to hide things from me were not successful, my dad was not a good parent and I was acutely aware of what was going on.

         2. Being drunk even with a sleeping child is not a “good dad.”

4. I have a question on teen shoes. I have girls. They have stopped growing. I buy them adult-grade sneakers (so same brands I have) since this is what they wear most and sneakers wear out quickly. For fancy sandals, they try on somewhere like DSW, purport to like them, and inevitably complain that they aren’t comfy, so I don’t think buying fancy dress sandals fixes that they are just not very comfy and for one or two nights a year, does it even matter? But for boots . . . one teen inherited a pair of mine and wore into the ground in about a year. They were spendy (but I had worn for years, so definitely I got my money out of them but also regularly polished them and took to the cobbler for maintenance). At what point do you get kids expensive boots or do you just shop at somewhere like Kohl’s, accept that it’s fabric “suede” or fake leather? Let them spend their $ on Fryes, etc? They do babysit but quality fashion boots are $$$. I do buy them good hiking boots and duck boots from Bean’s.

   1. What are the price points you are talking about? They can be wildly different on this site.

   2. Do you live somewhere with snow? If so I think it’s on you as a parent to buy warm waterproof boots. I had too many numb toes as a kid.

      1. This is what the LLBean duck boots are for; I am assuming OPs question is about fashion boots.

         1. Duck boots are okay for light flurries at best.

   3. Kids/teens beat the heck out of boots/shoes, so this is where IMO secondhand high-end is appropriate. If they already have a few cosmetic scuffs/dings, so what, they’re quickly going to have a lot more. But they still get the comfort and durability of a quality product.

   4. I didn’t get a pair of Frye’s until I was in my late 20s and could afford $300 boots on my own. And it was still a breathtaking expense at the time.

      Have you tried telling your kids that they only get this one pair of _____ and they’d better last the school year? Because I intimately know a family poor enough to have to buy secondhand shoes for their kids and/or hand me down through 3 kids and they make it work, so this is a your kids thing.

   5. My 14 year old gets 1-2 pairs of good shoes each season. Like Birkenstock sandals, or brand name sneakers, Ugg boots. Seasonally appropriate, comfy and well fitting. For more occasional wear shoes, like to match a holiday outfit, I go more budget.

      I wrecked my feet with crummy trendy shoes in the 1990s so I’m actually a big fan of the current trend for girls to wear half sensible footwear. I do watch for sales but I don’t do secondhand.

      1. I buy second hand for myself (judiciously) but I’d never ask my kid to wear second hand.

         1. I would never buy secondhand shoes unless they were obviously unworn. I don’t want shoes broken in for someone else’s foot shape, especially since my feet are decidedly un-average.

      2. Each season? These types of shoes last years – they don’t need last year’s Ugg’s and this years’ Uggs

         1. You buy them Uggs one year, Docs the next year, etc. so they have more than one pair of seasonal shoes. And the sneakers wear out every year.

   6. As a teen, I was given nicer things to wear when it was clear that I took good care of my things. Good quality boots won’t miraculously last significantly longer than poor quality boots if not cared for.

      1. Actually they will last longer. Boots with thick leather soles may get beat up if not well maintained, but the soles won’t wear through the way cheap hollow rubber soles do. And you can’t repair cheap boots, but you can repair well-constructed ones.

   7. Pay for the decent boots. They’re teenagers and their feet stopped growing. The Kohls boots will fall apart and not be as comfortable as something decent. Part of the reason kids wear out shoes faster than adults is we tend to have more pairs, maybe that we’ve collected over many years, and we rotate them so they don’t get as much wear. That being said, as kids become teenagers you have to accept that their clothes will cost more than Carter’s playsets or Old Navy sweatsuits. Shoes are arguably more important because they protect the feet and bad shoes can cause foot problems later on. If a girl wants a dress boot, she can pay for it, but if she needs something for every day (to alternate with her sneakers) then it’s worth the cost, even if they don’t last as long as your own.

      1. Kohls or DSW boots are going to wear through or completely disintegrate within a season. Fryes may get scuffed if she doesn’t take care of them, but they will not fall apart.

   8. My kid was so, so hard on footwear (and still is, even in college). It got to the point in high school that I told her I was giving her $200 towards footwear of her choice for the year. She could contribute more if she wanted, she could spend it all on one pair, split it up on hundreds of pair of foam flip flops from the dollar bin, whatever she liked, but I was not contributing more than that until next year. If she insisted on using her shoe-clad foot to dig holes in the mud, or dragged the toes on the concrete while riding a bike, etc., that was on her. She could tape them back together herself, take them to a cobbler, buy herself new ones, but I was not funding it.

   9. I can’t imagine buying Frye boots for a teen.

      I have one pair of Fryes and one pair of Blundstones. Both bought by myself in my late 20s as a splurge and still being worn 5 years later.

      My mom has a pair of Fryes that are almost 20 years old.

   10. I gave my teenager an allowance big enough to buy what she needed of decent quality and then let her decide how to spend it. After blowing through a lot of cheap stuff she eventually learned to prefer mid-range clothing in natural fibers on sale, high-quality shoes and outerwear for daily wear and for harsh weather, and cheap shoes for low-wear scenarios.

       1. This is what we do with our teens. We give $200 at the start of the school year for shoes. My son is a sneakerhead and will spend all $200 (plus more of his own sometimes!) on whatever the latest pair of sneakers he wants. My daughter likes to buy a couple of around $60-$80 pairs of shoes for the school year. Once their feet stopped growing we did buy them both a pair of good hiking boots and a pair of good snow boots. We don’t get a lot of snow so those should last. We do a lot of hiking so we will replace those as needed.

   11. I’d buy mid-range mall brands like Steve Madden and teach them basic shoe care, like how to use liquid quick drying polish to cover up scuffs and using a damp rag to wipe off snow and road salt. $$$ shoes were wasted on me as a teen because I wanted a new look the following year anyway, and the shoe care lessons were enormously valuable when I graduated college and could not afford high quality shoes for work.

       1. Steve Madden shoes are made of plastic now, not leather.

   12. What is your baseline e for shoes? I’m asking because my 12 year old is a size 9.5 and has adidas campus, a pair of Nike air max 270s, Ugg tasmans, a pair of sorel winter boots, Birkenstocks, and a pair of dress heels (blocky Steve maddens).

       Spending $300 on boots instead of $50 is different than $300 vs $150. And to your question, I would pitch the upgrade as a bday/holiday gift or have her contribute to it.

   13. Unless boots are needed for the weather where you live, why do teenagers need them at all? I bought boots when I was an adult making my own money.

5. For any of you who were text-only with a non-local sibling while dividing up parents’ household items, any advice or scripts? It looks like the most straightforward path is to make up a list, ask what of it she wants, and to the extent that we both want something, either trade if the item can’t easily be divided or split. But OMG it is like a death of a thousand cuts. I’m tempted to just pay to ship it all to her and let her figure it out (or if she’d just say “I don’t anything I can’t sell easily for cash.”). My house resembles a flea market trying to sort through stuff I moved out in a hurry to sell their house. Nothing other than silver is worth much. I’m just feeling overwhelmed and assaulted by toxic texts that are rambling and sometimes incoherent but always taking time to be mean and point out my shortcomings.

   1. My 02 – tell her that she has until X date to come to your house and look at everything and take what she wants, otherwise you’ll consider it yours and do with it what you see fit.

      1. +1. Tell sibling that they have until X date and you will give them Y hours to sort through, box up, ship off stuff. Do not give an unlimited amount of time that this person can be at your house – put a limit on it or they will take forever. If you want to be nice, then provide boxes. Otherwise, tell sibling to bring all packing materials and a U-Haul. Particularly if you do not care what sibling takes, including everything, let sibling take whatever they want and then you can dispose of the rest as you see fit.

         If you have a spouse who can and will meet sibling and oversee this, ask the spouse to handle it for you and you leave as to not deal with toxic sibling.

         You don’t have to live in a house that feels like a flea market.

      2. I’d rather ship things to a problematic sibling than have them in my house. Just our flavor of toxic but not being local I’d be hit up for plane and hotel for the visit.

      3. This for sure. When I was in this situation, I just disposed of everything as I saw fit and none of the siblings made a peep because I had done all the elder care. Household belongings are pretty much worthless, as you have seen. If I were in your shoes I would have an estate sale and send maybe 1/3 of the proceeds to the sibling and call it a day. (You get 2/3 because you did all the work.)

   2. Are there additional siblings beyond you two? My family drew straws to see which sibling would go first, second, etc, and they each got to choose an item they wanted when their number came up, repeat.

      1. Nope. A neutral or other party would have been nice.

   3. “Hi Sis,

      Hey, I wanted to talk to you about Mom and Dad’s things. After I cleaned out their house, it’s all been sitting in my living room. :/

      Is there anything in particular that you want? Please let me know by Friday the 7th; I’m going to be boxing it all up and donating it that next weekend.”

      Adjust as needed.

   4. I have sent pictures of stuff to a sibling and asked them to screenshot, circle, and send it back. If that’s too much, take a picture, number things on that photo, send the picture to sibling.
      Everything not claimed you will decide what to do with, trash, donate, keep.

   5. We started an email chain but you could use a Google drive. I get that some people aren’t into things, but I know I was. Take photos and upload them if you don’t want her in your home and provide a deadline. But you do have to allow her to have some things. She shouldn’t be emotionally abusive but you also can’t withhold things she might want. None of the things I most wanted had value, like my mom’s cookbooks, but I would have been very hurt if they were just given away to strangers.

6. For those of you who get regular cosmetic treatments that have some downtime, like laser treatments or chemical peels, how do you deal with work/social commitments? I got a chemical peel for the first time on Monday (a WFH day) and now it’s Wednesday and I’m in the office and I look absolutely insane. My skin is peeling off my face in sheets. I assume it will be similar tomorrow and Friday. It’s not like I can find a week where I have no in-person work or social commitments. How do people do it? I feel like no matter how much money I have to throw at problems these days, I’m always “failing” at these types of things.

   1. This is why I don’t pursue this treatments, honestly. Who has the time for all this downtime?

      1. This is a big reason I don’t, either. I don’t have time for the appointment, nor the recovery time.

   2. The most I worry about is how long my skin would be red after getting my upper lip and eyebrows threaded (not long).

   3. I don’t, but I’d guess these are treated like minor surgeries – you just plan around them as you would if you were physically incapable of leaving your house (which in a sense, you are). So, take sick leave/PTO/get WFH, cancel or don’t accept social engagements, stock up on things so you don’t have to leave home, and take the necessary recovery time.

      Or, if your life is such that you can’t take a week off to recover, yes, your choices are to appear at events with peeling skin, or not get the treatment.

   4. You plan them for right BEFORE your WFH days and a quiet weekend, not right before office days.

   5. Can you do them on Fridays, stay home for the weekend, and have no video conferences while you WFH on Mondays? I do laser treatments that make my face look pretty terrible. I schedule so that I have as many days as possible at home after the treatment. Like if I can figure out how to WFH on Friday and Monday, then I’ll get a Thursday afternoon appointment.
      Alternatively, I have also just owned it. If someone comes in my office and my face looks awful, I’ll sayI had to have a laser treatment and I’m working through the recovery. The had-to-have language usually makes people think that it’s a pre-cancerous skin issue instead of an anti-aging thing. But I also don’t care that much if people don’t like how my face looks – years of horrible teenage acne forced me to give that up, and I do find freedom in it.

      1. Annoyingly, the med spa I go to isn’t open on Fridays. Also, peeling starts on day 3, so if I went on Friday, I’d still be dealing with peeling in the office on Tuesday and Wednesday. So really seems like there’s no good days, and I have no excuse to ask to WFH for a cosmetic procedure.

         1. Well then plan it so day 3 or 4 is the weekend.

         2. So go Tuesday after work!

   6. I do lasers (BBL and Moxi combo) on a Thursday afternoon. To be clear, the these treatments have no downtime. My skin is not red or peeling at all. But it FEELS like it’s on fire the first day. Then like sandpaper for an additional 5. The cream I use to heal is similar consistency to Vaseline so it’s not my favorite look. I WFH Friday’s and lay low over the weekend (still do errands and workout but I’m not going to a gala or events). Monday I’ll go back to the office, with makeup on and no one knows. The texture takes a while to get better but there is no visible flaking or peeling.

      1. May I ask, what conditions are you using these treatments for? How often / ballpark cost?

         1. Not the OP, but one targets red and the other targets brown (age spots, freckles). They make my skin look clear and take away my freckles so it’s more one color. I’ll tell you though, it was a trip to have freckles my entire life and then to just…not.
            I think there’s also an anti-aging component, but I don’t really remember the details of that.

7. Love the suit.

8. If anyone has purchased a home from a family member, any tips on making a smooth transition? My parents want to sell me their home and downsize. I never thought I would consider purchasing their home, but after thinking it through it does sort of make sense. A good neighborhood/schools, we know the home well, good neighbors, perfect amount of space for my family, etc… I am an attorney, so I know how to structure the deal and plan to get an appraisal. I am more concerned about the small/silly factors, like my parents trying to leave junk in the basement they don’t want to get rid of or hurt feelings when we make updates to the home.

   1. This is the perfect time for “don’t borrow trouble.”

      Now, if your parents are generally overbearing and passive aggressive, don’t do this deal. Your problems will far exceed some random boxes in the basement.

   2. This is entirely dependent on whether your parents are emotionally regulated or not.

   3. Your two examples at the end aren’t “small/silly factors,” they’re the emotional and relational aspect. Which is important, to them and to you. To be specific, your two examples both fall under the category of “Will my parents still feel a sense of ownership over the house and what happens to it, and how will they and I work through that?” A lot of that depends on what kind of people you and your parents are: will they be able to step back and realize they no longer own the house or get a say in what happens to it? If not, will you be able to handle their displeasure or pressure when you do something they dislike?

   4. this is an entirely emotional set of problems. personally I don’t like the vibe of being the ‘grown-up’ in my childhood home, plus my mom would take it personally if I changed stuff, so it’s a lose-lose for me.

   5. Husband’s family has played musical houses multiple times. Don’t discount the dollars in the equation. If you have siblings, you need to make sure that they are bought in on the amount you are paying for the house and the sale. Anything below market is going to cause issues and can be perceived as favoritism/taking advantage of the parents. Anything above market (financing wise) is going to make trouble in financing. Highly advise just doing a mortgage over paying the parents on a note. Yes it’s more interest, but it also means that your parents will get the money at once. Also, be ready for if you try to sell the house, you may get pressure that you should give the parents some/all of the money you make off the house.

      1. OP here! Yes– I intend to get a valuation for the fair market value and do a mortgage over paying my parents a note. I have one sibling and I want to avoid potential conflict (even though he said he really doesn’t care at all about us buying the home and lives in a different state/does not have plans to move back).

   6. We purchased my In-Laws home from them when it became apparent my FIL needed to move into memory care and the property was too much for my MIL to handle. Some of the items you mention like leaving things in the basement, etc. did happen. It was a good practice in patience and keeping the mindset that it’s a blip in long term home ownership. Luckily it wasn’t a lot, although I do have some really large and ‘unique’ lawn sculptures now.
      Some things we did:
      My husband and I helped my MIL move most of her things into her new home. We set a firm timeline for that.
      One odd thing, I wish we would have sat down with my MIL and helped her submit the paperwork for mail forwarding, it took forever to stop receiving all her mail. But that was a lesson learned. If your parents will still be local, I’d double check in on that one.

      Going forward, even after almost everything was gone, there has been some interesting asks. Ex. One random occurrence was when she asked if she could have our towel racks one day (not joking – the ones bolted into the walls of the bathrooms) as an example, we just told her ‘No’ and we all moved on.
      But overall, I’ve enjoyed the experience. But if you do not REALLY like the home, that would be a different story in my opinion.

      Overall, the positives have outweighed any inconvenience. My MIL and FIL poured a lot of attention and detail into the home/property (FIL was a contractor for a living). And although my FIL is not able to be present with my kids, we’re able to continue a legacy and they’ll be able to live in the home he built. So that alone makes it worth while to me.

   7. We bought my mom’s house from her (though we no longer live there). There was some drama with her moving all her stuff out, but we eventually got there. She did not express any hurt feelings about updating the house and changing things and is definitely the type to make little comments if she was feeling some type of way about it. But it has been a running joke about how our styles are different long before we bought her house. (She painted every room different colors when I was little. In my first house–a different house–I painted everything off-white lol.) I think it really depends on your family dynamics though as to whether this will be worth it or not. I also have siblings but they were not interested in the house. I paid slightly below market for it and sold it for a profit. My siblings have received help from my parents in different ways over the years (parents gave one sibling a car for example) and we are all self-supporting adults with professional jobs now and so nobody has any hurt feelings over it.

   8. 1. You know your parents. Are they overbearing and manipulative? Or are they hands off and pragmatic? A friend of mine bought their parents’ house and it was fine as soon as the parents moved out of state. The parents saw it as an exciting step toward moving on and they weren’t around to give their two cents on paint color.

      2. How does your spouse feel about this? I know I could brush off comments or “advice” from my own parents but would lose my mind if my in laws did the same.

9. What are your thoughts on NFT art, or more accurately, the “artists” involved? I kind of thought it was all a way to move money from person to person or launder the money.

   1. It’s like cryptocurrency – the underlying technology isn’t *intrinsically* corrupt/criminal/useless, but it sure gets used for a lot of corrupt/criminal/useless junk

   2. Like everything crypto-adjacent, NFTs are at best a scam and at worst a criminal enterprise.

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