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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Diane von Furstenberg is famous for her wrap dresses, but there are many other cute office-appropriate ones from the rest of her collection. I like this black and white shirt dress in silk jersey — and I particularly love the way the two patterns play together. I'd probably wear this with a full slip beneath, at least the first day. It was $425, but is now $318 at Bloomingdale's. DvF Shirt Dress – Fiona Silk
Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.
(L-2)
Sales of note for 9.19.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
roses
Not a fan of this at all…the bottom looks like a completely different dress.
I have a question for ladies in large metropolitan areas who have bought property (I’m in DC, but I think it’s a general question). How did you make the decision of whether to buy in the city or in the ‘burbs? My husband and I want to start looking for a place in a year or so, and we’re really torn. We want to have a kid in the next 2-3 years, so we need at least a 2 bedroom. We love city life, all my friends live in the city, I hate driving (we don’t have a car right now), and I don’t feel like I need a lot of space – that is, getting a big house isn’t the goal for me or H. DC also has free pre-K. But housing is just so, SO expensive – for what a 2 bedroom condo costs in a safe part of the city, we could get a 3-bedroom house in one of the ‘burbs bordering the city (and then wouldn’t have to move if we had a second kid, which would be nice because I’d like to live somewhere semi-permanently for once in my adult life). We’d almost certainly have to get a car if we moved out of the city though.
Any words of wisdom or factors I’m not considering? Obviously we have a while to think about it, and our savings plan will be similar either way, but I’d like to start having these conversations with H now so we can assess our goals.
Effie
If you lived in DC, could you afford to/would you want to send your child(ren) to private school? Because DC public schools leave, uh, something to be desired, so I would consider that in your calculations.
roses
I wouldn’t do private – we’d pick an area with good elementary schools (they do exist) and then re-evaluate when the kids got older.
OG Lawyer
Horace Mann Elementary School in NW (near AU) is an awesome public elementary school in D.C. My firm sent me to d.c. for a year and I took my 8 year old with me (from Hawaii — suffice it to say, he couldn’t wait to come home.) I picked my residence on-line by first reviewing the d.c. elementary school evaluation sites, and Horace Mann excelled in all categories. I flew there specifically to see HM and another school-prosect. While there I found a great but not cheap 3 bedroom condo within one block of school. HM is also a feeder-school for the local private schools.
I couldn’t understand how HM could be so beautiful, with so many amenities, in contrast to other areas. My niece was in the Peace Corps working in those poorer schools and jeez, we were stunned by the contrast in PUBLIC schools. I later learned, that unlike Hawaii, in D. C. the public school parents can (somehow) financially contribute to the school. I was able to tour some public schools in south DC– unbelievable that the quality of schools in the same city can be so horribly different. Filthy, no lights, no sports fields, classrooms combined because of insufficient teachers . . . just so f’ing depressing.
But yeah, there is a least one good public school in D.C.
OTH, by the time you have your first child, being in town, in the “action,” really loses it’s luster.
I’d go with one of the areas others have suggested. You will be shocked by how much you love your child; it’s a honey-sticky hard core love, and his/her needs matter so much more than your being in strolling distance to clubs/museums/quick walk home.
Either way, you got time. If you find you really don’t want to give up downtown city life, maybe you aren’t ready yet for a baby.
tazdevil
Cross the river and come to Arlington County! The schools are awesome and we’re a lot less pretentious than the DC hipsters.
Anonymous
Or Falls Church! Where all the former Arlingtonites go when they can’t afford Arlington prices.
Em
Yeah, Arlington is “less pretentious” in the sense that frat boys in polo shirts and khakis are not pretentious per se. I’m not sure that’s a selling point.
L
You must be on the Orange line side of Arlington.
Come to Pentagon City/Arlington and Alexandria. Where we’re relaxed, you can walk around your neighborhood, and houses are still unreasonable (but the schools are good and they hold value!)
Anonymous
Hey now, the dudes in brown flip flops stick to Metro-adjacent neighborhoods. There is tons of space here without them :)
BKDC
Having lived in Brooklyn for a number of years, I can assure you that the DC variety of hipsters is nothing to be frightened of.
workingmomz
LOL this cracked me up. They’re like preppy nerdy hipsters
Diana Barry
We bought in the city first, then moved to the burbs 3 years later when we were about 1.5 years out from having kids. A couple of things:
– car, we had one car in the city which was a PITA (street parking) and then moved to 2 cars about 2 years after moving out
– our condo was a tower of stairs – NOT good for kids.
– townhouses, stairs and strollers =/=fun (especially with groceries)
– we liked having relatives come visit when we had the new babies, and we have enough space in the burbs to have a guest room (4 BR)
– not enough $$ for private school so we needed to be somewhere with good schools.
We had other friends who moved about 1 year after having their first kid (they had a 2 BR) and that seemed roughly equivalent, EXCEPT they weren’t able to fix their house when they moved into it. We spent a year plus fixing our house before kid #1 arrived. No kitchen doesn’t work well with babies. :)
hoola hoopa
Similar story here. We have two kids and a 2-bd. We’re currently in the process of moving. Public schools ended up not being as good as we thought, and private has been too expensive. While the kids are fine sharing a room, we’re really missing a guest room. We are certainly going to miss the city amenities and commute, but schools (and our retirement planning…) took priority. We’re getting more space, free schools, and a smaller mortgage.
You’re fine in the city until school age, though. Since it sounds like that’s 7-8 years out, you can stay in the city for now and move later. I liked having babies in the city because there’s lots of walking to parks, etc. Our neighborhood is thick with families with small kids, so there are cafes with play areas, etc. I feel like we’re taking less advantage of that sort of thing now that the kids are school aged.
On-street parking and stairs are awful with little ones. AWFUL. Designated parking was one of my requirements when we bought our current home, and I am thankful for it every day. Add it to yours list of requirements!
Orange Line
I bought on the orange line in Arlington while single / childless. I took the metro into DC for work, so that was the most important thing.
If I were married, DC and MD eventually have large marriage penalties (and higher taxes generally). VA had lower taxes. Overall, the after-tax cost of living in VA was just so much lower (otherwise, I would have slightly preferred DC in my 20s but I had no experience with MD), even as a single person. My MD/DC friends have complained that to get to NoVa, you have to cross a bridge and then note that they really don’t have the transit options (or their options are generally all driving so they get stuck more) of the real city parts of DC and Arlington.
I thought that if I sold, the next buyer might appreciate Arlington’s schools / proximity to DC / lower taxes / in-state schools for secondary education (FWIW, I went to one, so I also had many more orange/blue line friends than red line friends). Now I am married and have children and the convenience factor of my 20s is magnified a million times and I am so happy for my commute (even though my house is very old and small and not at all fabulous). The schools, while not Sidwell Friends, are good and send a lot of people to good schools (so: chlildren seem to reach their potential). My DC friends all feel that they have to go the private school route and a few have done charters — this is sad to me since I went to public school myself.
One final good thing about DC — you used to be able to get in-state tuition in other states (have not checked this out in years, but it was a plus factor in my DC leanings).
roses
It sounds like you may have bought in Arlington a while ago, so I don’t know if it was true then, but looking at it now housing prices are significantly higher there than in suburban MD. Do you think overtime the lower taxes outweigh the higher housing cost?
Orange Line
I have a feeling that the answer is still yes, especially if you are a higher-earner couple (say two GS 14s and doubly-so for two private sector lawyers). Look at the top marginal rates for MD and VA (and then with the AMT, those state taxes become less and less deductible the more $ you make). I think that if you’re willing to do bus to metro (before you give up and start driving for day-care drop off / school pick-up), prices do drop quite a bit, especially if you go south / west (EFC metro is in Arlington). But to the extent that time is precious, I’d try driving from somewhere like Capitol Hill or Farragut West to North Bethesda (or Takoma Park, etc.) at rush hour and then into what you’re looking at in NoVa and just comparing — I hate commuting, so if things were equal on the money / school front, that would be the tiebreaker (and colleges if you’re at all close).
Eleanor
Would you ever stay in the city after you had a second kid? Plenty of kids grow up without their own bedrooms, so a two-bedroom doesn’t necessarily mean you would have to move after you had the second.
Fiona
This is a consideration. We bought a larger house in the ‘burbs and have more than 2 kids now. Plenty of bedrooms to go around but we miss our city life. We’re seriously contemplating returning to the city, to a smaller space with shared bedrooms, and, yes, even public schools. At least for a while.
We’re hard pressed to find many advantages to suburban life. The driving every where really stinks – and we live in a walkable village by choice! We still end up driving way more then we like.
Orange Line
FWIW, we noted that a lot of new construction features massive master suites and tiny secondary bedrooms (so you might not be able to fit two twin beds in them unless you do bunk beds). Older housing stock had much larger secondary bedrooms. We have children sharing a room so that we can have a room for guests / home office (but eventually will split the children up).
hoola hoopa
+1 and/or the master is really far from the other bedrooms.
Sadie
when your kids are a little older, though, you want that. Teenager bedrooms right next to yours is no good. Really.
Bonnie
I feel we have the best of both worlds by living in upper NW. We have a short commute, green back yard, plenty of parking, and all of the advantages of city living. While we sacrificied walk-in closets, we have more space than we would in a condo. I’m not concerned about schools down the road. Many of our neighbors have small kids and are happy with the charter schools.
anon-oh-no
We struggled with this decision a lot, but ultimately decided the city was the right choice for us, mainly becuase with both of us working at biglaw firms, we work long hours and did not want to add the commute time to that. We purchased a condo in the city when I was pregnant with our first and we stayed there until he was ready to start kindergarten. Then we bought a single family home in a neighborhood with a good public school. It took a long time to find that place though, as in any city, good public schools are hard to come by. We both went to public school though, and it is important to us to send our kids to a public school, so that was a big deciding factor.
we couldnt be happier with the choice, but it took us almost three years to find the *perfect* single family home. We had a big enough condo to not feel too cramped with two kids and we saved a lot of money during that time period.
CapHillAnon
You’re looking at the right factors. It’s just going to be tough weighing them! We looked at both the city and the suburbs when we were ready to buy, decided to buy a modest little rowhouse in the city (Capital Hill), and haven’t regretted it a single day. Like you, I love being able to walk, hate driving, and having a huge house isn’t important to me. We have 2 children, and while Effie is right in the main, there ARE good options for non-private schools: charters. We love our neighborhood, love that there are friends/ neighbors who are always outside, that we can walk to the museums, library, market, work, etc. and love raising our kids in the city. Our guests know that we have a small house. I can’t speak to raising children in a condo, but clearly there would be more logistical challenges when you get under a certain footage.
Not cavalier about the money. Prices have gone up in the city, and we do pay more in taxes (for fewer services) than we would in the suburbs. But–for our family–our quality of life is better in the city.
Also–there is no need for city v suburb superiority comments! We all make the choices best for us.
DontBlameTheKids
I live in DC, and moved here from the Maryland suburbs (actually just wrote about this today on my blog). Best decision I ever made. I am a block from the metro, and it makes a huge difference to our quality of life. This weekend we went to the National Theater for Irish River Dancing (free Saturday morning stuff for kids!). We could never come into the city from Maryland on weekends.
Also, about schools: I sacrificed space for a decent public elementary school. But with all the charter schools, most of my parent friends seem to have decent luck with the lottery. For me, it wasn’t worth the risk, but it might be for you, if you have money for a backup plan.
rosie
We rented in MoCo when we moved to DC and bought in NW, and I just want to echo the quality of life issue. We actually do activities in DC on the weekends, going out for drinks after work isn’t a huge pain because I no longer have to factor in off-peak metro wait times to get home, and we drive so much less.
Two Cents
We bought a home in the Maryland suburbs (Kensington) as well, and deeply deeply regretted it. We were lured by the space, but ultimately we realized that we don’t care about having a lot of space, what matters to us is accessibility and being able to walk everywhere. I am such a city girl at heart and hated the commute, the driving, and the inability to walk to a number of places. We ended up moving to another east coast city, but if we ever move back to the DC area, we will live and buy in the city (and we have one child and hopefully will have another soon). There are some very good public schools in the NW and good charter schools around the city.
Now that we are back in a city, I have more time to go to the gym (bc less of a commute), more time to be social because I can meet a friend for dinner or a drink without worrying about the long commute home, and more time with my child (again, because his daycare is walking distance to my office and home). I.am.so.much.happier.
If you do decide on the suburbs, I would stick to places that have a very high walking score (90 +). But really, if I were in your shoes, I would try to find a place in NW to buy.
Anon
So I’m not in a large metropolis (Atlanta), but we intend on purchasing in-town and intend on having kids in-town. We’ll pay more, but the thought of spending a ridiculous amount of time commuting to in-town jobs makes us shudder, as does the suburban sprawl.
come to Decatur!
It’s great quality of life, and the public schools are good.
Anon
We’ve thought about it, but the slow creep along Ponce de Leon during rush hour seems like it could drive us both batty after a while. Maybe it is not as bad as I think, though?
Maudie Atkinson
This. This is why I am resistant to Decatur. There doesn’t seem to be a good thoroughfare, especially if one is commuting to Midtown (v. Downtown). Sitting on Ponce in the mornings is my idea of a nightmare. Is there a way to avoid it? Is it not as bad as I think?
NatalieR
Dekalb Ave. goes turns into Decatur St. then Marietta St. It’s a bit more north than Ponce but wider and less congested. You can take it to 14th or 10th then cut over to Midtown. Not as direct as Ponce but much less traumatic. If I ever move back to that area, it will be to Decatur for sure.
Batgirl
Not to threadjack off of your threadjack, but any similar comparisons for Brooklynites looking to make the jump to NJ/NY suburbs? I’d love to be able to work in Manhattan and have a reasonable(ish) commute home to a bigger place with good schools. Is it too much to hope that this is still do-able? This thread is making me consider a move to DC/VA!
Woodbridge, y'all
My SO works at the Pentagon and I work on 14th Street SW. We live in Woodbridge, VA near the Potomac Mills mall. Our daycare is a 1 mile drive from our home and is located next to the OmniRide bus stop. Our commute bus is very clean and quiet (no talking). The bus ride takes approx 25 mins. It is very relaxing. My first born is 13 months and I am currently 8 months pregnant. We are very happy in Woodbridge and we are happy with our short commute. (SO’s commute is only 18 minutes on the commuter bus!) Good luck with your house hunt!
Monday
I think this dress is great. I’ve been pattern mixing so long that I’m almost bored if I’m only wearing one!
Bonnie
I love this dress. Too bad it’s above my dress limit.
AIMS
Third. This is really lovely.
Niktaw
I like (not love) this dress, but I a very annoyed with Bloomingdales for not specifying the length.
zora
i think the DVF shirt dresses look amazing, but they don’t look like they will accommodate my hips, sadface. I wil just have to covet from afar…
SuperAnon
I’m a first year, six months in, in BigLaw. There’s not enough work to go around, and several mid-levels are leaving. What do you all recommend I do?
Killer Kitten Heels
Build the skills you need as fast as possible to take over the work the mid-levels who are leaving were doing. If “several” are going, that sounds like more work for you (in a good way).
Killer Kitten Heels
I should add that, at 6 months in, there’s not really anything else you can do (unless you have the resume for/interest in looking for a clerkship as a potential exit option). With only 6 months’ experience, you’re not really in a position to lateral elsewhere (certainly not to another BigLaw firm).
Anon
That’s not entirely true. Depends on your credentials. If you were a top candidate (eg sterling credentials) then you probably could lateral. That said, better to try to stay longer if you can. Don’t worry about the work so much, if it’s not there, it’s not there and look for another job then.
Alanna of Trebond
Agree with this — we had a few associates leave after 4 and 6 months (although, I think there it was a question of fit rather than not enough work). One went to another firm and one went in-house.
Anon
Stick around but take headhunter calls and be nice. People leaving should result in some work in the meantime, but keep your ears open if the firm isn’t doing well.
AnonLawMom
Network within your firm to get more work. Offer to help people that are not in your practice area (for example, if you are corporate offer to help the litigators with doc review if they need extra hands or if a litigator, offer to help corporate with diligence). Be helpful and friendly. Look on the system to figure out what the associates who are leaving were working on and go to the partners on those matters and offer to help pick up the slack. At 6 months in, you are pretty stuck, so make yourself useful. Learn as much as you can and keep your ears and eyes open for new positions. Send nice congratulatory emails to the associates who leave or meet up with them for lunch. Their new firms may be expanding and they may get referral bonuses for recruiting associates.
Diana Barry
Ladies, I have 2 things for your viewing pleasure:
Alberta Ferretti dress that I loooooooooooove:
http://www.vogue.com/fashion-week/spring-2014-rtw/alberta-ferretti/runway/#/collection/runway/spring-2014-rtw/alberta-ferretti/50/
And some Cumberbatch:
http://tmagazine.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/03/07/the-case-of-the-accidental-superstar/
Diana Barry
Sorry, moderation for my links
http://www.vogue.com/fashion-week/spring-2014-rtw/alberta-ferretti/runway/#/collection/runway/spring-2014-rtw/alberta-ferretti/50/
Diana Barry
Cumberbatch!
http://tmagazine.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/03/07/the-case-of-the-accidental-superstar/
N
Thanks for posting that – it made my day!
zora
siiigghhhhhh thank you… at little dose of Benny makes my morning so much better! ;o)
eye care
Do any of you use special eye creams? I used to think that it was a gimmick, and I could use my same face lotions. But I had a random sample of one and it did seem to make things look a little better.
What do you use?
I’m 45, with some eye wrinkles.
NOLA
I hadn’t, but mainly because I couldn’t find an eye cream that wouldn’t bother my very sensitive eyes. I recently found the Burt’s Bees sensitive eye cream and I really like it – now I just need to get into the habit of using it every day!
http://www.burtsbees.com/Sensitive-Eye-Cream/01410-00,default,pd.html?cgid=eyeCream&start=2&q=#start=2
I’m 49 with generally really good skin but some wrinkles under the eyes, especially when the weather is dry.
DontBlameTheKids
I honestly don’t expect anything more from a moisturizer than to, well, moisturize. Other than Retin-A, I don’t buy the hype. I do use a Kiehl’s avocado cream for my eyes. It doesn’t help with wrinkles, but it does make my eyes look smoother, so no crepe-iness.
eye care
Thanks for input.
So you guys don’t use an eye cream with SPF? Isn’t that the most important thing?
Of course I don’t expect wrinkles to regress. I realized that the eye cream almost seemed to have a “filling” effect that was nicer then my usual face lotion. I realize it’s temporary of course. I totally know what you mean by “crepe-iness”.
I also have sensitive skin, so already have trouble with a lot of moisturizers/SPF.
Monday
I just put my sunblock right up around my eyes so the SPF is there. It took some trial and error to find something gentle enough for that area, but it can be done. It’s far cheaper (and faster) than using special eye cream. Underneath it’s just my regular face moisturizer. All good results, and it’s been 3-4 years.
NOLA
I use MAC moisturing concealer during the day and I found that I can’t add an eye cream to it or my eye makeup melts. So I only use eye cream at night and don’t need SPF.
Fiona
I use a tinted moisturizer with SPF for my face and around the eye area, so no separate eye cream for just the SPF.
PolyD
I use Revlon Vita-Lift, something like that. I think it has vitamin E in it? Not sure what that’s for.
Really, SPF is very important but also important is wearing sunglasses and making sure that your vision is corrected if need be so you don’t squint a lot. I get compliments from friends about my lack of crow’s feet at 46, and I think it’s mostly because I’m part vampire and hate the sun, so I wear sunglasses pretty much all the time. I think eye creams can be less irritating than face creams (maybe?), but I just use the aforementioned Revlon, nothing terribly pricey. I also usually wait for an Ulta coupon to buy it, because I’m cheap that way.
Anon
Just want to share that the best hand lotion ever is Aquaphor (for babies). Really thick and gooey and gets my hands thoroughly moisturized. Which are definitely developing crepiness. (age 37)
Fiona
How do you get it to soak in and keep it from being tacky? I’ve tried but so far failed to get a barrier ointment like that to absorb and just end up taking it off .
Wannabe Runner
Beginner question – is eye cream meant for daytime wear, or to put on when you’re going to bed?
January
First, my apologies for accidentally reporting you. Second, I don’t wear it during the day because I don’t find it compatible with makeup. But if you don’t wear makeup, you could probably use it as often as you want (or not).
Philanthropy Girl
The Body Shop used to sell (and may still) this wonderful Vitamin E eye cream that I loved. I’ve used other eye creams from them, but that one made a visible difference on my faint “life lines” and dark circles. It’s also very reasonable.
Anon
Hi all,
I am getting married by a judge who is also a family friend. We are not paying him but I would like to get him and his wife a gift to thank them for being part of the ceremony. They are also attending the reception as guests. Any suggestions as to what might be appropriate?
TIA!
Fiona
Maybe a nice silver picture frame with the wedding invitation/announcement in it if his name is on it as officiant? They can certainly reuse the frame but it’s nice to put something in it initially.
weddings...
It’s a nice thought, but I’d be a little careful with a gift like this…. Nothing too fancy, and be sure to tell them “please replace the invite with a picture you enjoy”. Otherwise, it seems like you want them to put an homage to you/your wedding up in their own home.
We have received several gifts like this, that make you feel like you are expected to put it on display. I totally understand that this isn’t your intent, but that is how the recipient will feel.
I favor the gift certificate to a restaurant etc..
Fiona
Appreciate your take on it! We also have received several gifts like this and I never think twice about using it however I chose once it’s in my home (which includes every option from display to donation). But we’re not terribly sentimental about “things” of any sort, so I doubt this would be surprise to anyone that knows us.
Fiona
And FWIW (since I clearly am avoiding another project to keep replying here), I personally favor fine wines and liquors as gifts for scenarios like this. But you have to know the taste of the recipient and that’s not always the case.
Jules
We were married by an old family friend and IIRC my father — who knew his tastes — got him a bottle of very nice Scotch.
A Nonny Moose
We gave all men in the wedding (including my dad, brother, and groomsmen) a set of nice cuff links with their favorite teams mascot. We also gave a set to our officiant who was a family friend. They went over well with everyone involved.
ContractsinTX
We had a family friend perform our ceremony. I made her a quilt as a thanks. For a man? I +1 the ideas above about a bottle of scotch, the cufflinks, etc.
Hermione
Gift certificate to a restaurant.
Gifting
If you are an attorney and have a chance of appearing before this judge, check your state’s ethical guidelines before gifting anything.
Anonymous
I am a judge who did this for friends of ours. It was just such an honour to be asked and so much fun to do that I would have felt awkward accepting any kind of significant gift. Something very small and/or a thank you note will be more than sufficient to show your appreciation. I think the judge will probably enjoy the day as much as you do. Congratulations, by the way!
Another Anon Judge
+1
I charge to perform weddings for strangers, but for friends I do it for love and don’t expect anything but an invitation to the reception. Also in my state I have to report gifts so I’d just as soon skip it.
A nice thank-you note would be more than enough.
Anonymous
How much fun is it that there are at least two anonymous judges reading this site?
Jules
And I bet under their robes they are wearing fabulous outfits!
Boden sizing?
Thinking about placing my first Boden order, for pants and dresses. Mainly pants. I’m a 2 in J. Crew/Banana Republic, sometimes 4, sometimes petite (I’m 5’3″, with short legs relative to my torso). Other brands, I’m a 27 or 28. I’m guessing I should go with a 4 petite in Boden? Experiences? What about dresses?
PolyD
On the website, they will list garment measurements. Measure the waist/hips of a pair of pants that fits you well, then compare it to the measurements on the Boden site. For pants, I’d still order a couple of sizes, but I have found this technique to work pretty well for tops and skirts.
I have found that this year, their dresses tend to be slightly higher-waisted than in the pants. I also think Boden cuts for a figure that is slightly bustier on top, but narrower through the hips. I appreciate the extra room on top, but find that the straighter-cut, sheath-style dresses don’t work great for me and I am not particularly pear-shaped, but do have hips and thighs.
AT
Can’t comment as to the accuracy, but Boden has a widget that suggests sizes to you based on the sizes you wear in other popular brands — just click on “Fit Predictor” on the item’s page and there will be a drop-down menu where you select different brands and your sizes in those brands (including tall, regular, petite) and it builds a profile for you. The blurb says: “Fit Predictor uses what you recently bought or told us fit you and combines it with preferences from other shoppers like you. Fit Predictor uses these fit preferences to understand how you like to wear your clothes (loose, tight, etc.) and shoes and calculates the right size for you across brands.” Great if it works!
DontBlameTheKids
I really like what DvF is doing with patterns this season. I also like the Andy Warhol stuff, but WAY out of my price range. And if I buy a DvF this season, it will be the navy ikat.
Shopaholic
+1 I love DVF stuff. I know some commenters here have noted that it’s not the best quality for the price, but I feel like everything is professional and still modern. I basically want ALL of the dresses this season!
emeralds
This is kind of a mini-rant due to a phone call I just had…but seriously, parents: try making your college-aged children do things for themselves. If they can’t handle making a simple informational call to a student services office, I am 95% sure you are not equipping them well for success in their professional lives. And if they can’t get it together enough to pick up the phone (or read the website, but I realize that’s asking for the sun, the moon, and every single star in the sky), maybe they should just experience what it’s like to *not get the thing that they want.*
I know that’s not representative of every student, or every parent. (And parents who do not create that environment/dynamic, thank you so much! You are probably setting your child up for a future as a competent human, which is something we should all celebrate and encourage.) But seriously. Parents who swaddle their babies in wool: do better. Let your kids experience failure in a controlled way. Do not always swoop in to fix every little thing or smooth every single path. They should struggle and they should fail sometimes, or not get what they want sometimes, or learn that doing X will lead to Y consequence that they are maybe not thrilled about. It’s how you learn to be a functional adult.
Rant over.
Cb
Wow! Calling the uni on their behalf? I thought that only happened in NYT trend pieces. What did you say?
emeralds
It’s a daily occurrence. Pretty appalling. I mean, I support parents being involved where there is actually a crisis, or in a situation where their adult child needs real support/has gotten in over his/her head/has an honest-to-gosh problem. And I do think this is a vocal minority–it’s certainly not representative of all college students. But it is not a NYT trend piece. It is a real damn thing.
I usually am as passive-aggressive as possible, while remaining within the confines of being a helpful professional, and begin every sentence with “Has your son/daughter had a chance to [check resource],” or “I would encourage you to have your son/daughter get in touch with [person],” or “Great, so glad that son/daughter is thinking about this. The next step if for him/her to speak to [person] about [whatever].”
Cb
Wow! Yeah, definitely supportive in the case of a crisis but general intervention? I think I might be a bit disillusioned in general after marking a pile of undergraduate papers this weekend which were filled with logical leaps, urls as works cited, and some bizarre tangential arguments.
Fiona
I would think privacy claims would be on your side here. Something along the lines of: “I’m sorry, but you’re asking (enrollment, admissions, status) questions about another adult. I can’t discuss this matter with you without violating the student’s privacy and university policy.”
I worked in a uni office many (many) moons ago and this was our go-to response. Of course it might vary by state, but at least the state I was in the standard was adult at 18 and the parents had few rights to information even if they were paying the bill.
NOLA
Oh definitely. This happens often. Even if the son/daughter doesn’t want mom or dad to do it. The parent doesn’t trust them or wants to intervene. We deal with it. I once had a student who’d gotten an early warning in a class I was co-teaching (the other professor gave her the early warning). She told me that her parents wouldn’t believe her explanation of the situation and asked if her mom could call me (and she did). She is now a senior and we still laugh about it because it was how I got to know her better.
anon
I’m curious why she even told her Mom about it – is this a common thing these days? I never told my parents anything about my classes in college or grad school.
NOLA
I think, in the case of early warning, the parents are notified, if the student has given the school permission for them to receive notifications (about other things, not just early warning). The other professor was a real hard a$$ and gave early warning if a student had missed class at all and I didn’t know that.
Jenna Rink
Oh how I wish that was only the case in NY Times trend pieces! I would guess that more than half of the calls my university’s student services offices receive come from parents rather than students.
Cb
That’s incredible! The uni where I work has a pretty crummy reputation for student support (the institution is built on the understanding that you were smart enough to get in here, you’re smart enough to fend for yourself) but there has to be a balance.
Snoozy
Not even just in the US. I get parents, uncles, aunts and siblings ringing when admission time rolls around (and I’m in continental Europe, where pastoral care is still a foreign concept to many unis). Given where I work and what I teach, this often means there’s a language barrier or I’m attempting to communicate relatively complex concepts in my second language that the other people don’t know in their first, and the whole situation is a mess. Hmph.
Ellen
Yay! I love this dress, but it is in Bloomie’s, where I am aparantely no longer welcome. All b/c I scraped my shoe off in the carpeteing departement, which is what alot of peeople do. FOOEY!
As for the OP, I understand where you are comeing from, b/c there are alot of HELECOPTER parent’s — in some way, even my dad was like that, but by being HELECOPTER parent’s I was abel to focus my attention on my studie’s, not haveing to tend to alot of administrative thing’s like housing bills, and food plan bills and tuition and other thing’s that had to get paid and alot of other thing’s that I DON’T even know about. Dad came in or called in and took care of everything, so I could just study! YAY!!!
And as a result, I am where I am now. A competent professional attorney at law, with her own job and her own apartement in the City! YAY!!!! My onley issue even dad can’t fix. Findeing a guy to MARRY me and suport me and our children. FOOEY!
Earnie is a looser. All he think’s is that women in the city are haveing sex all the time and do not even care about thing’s like setteling down and getting married. How wrong is he? He say’s that his wife stopped haveing sex with him, but he also said that he wanted sex EVERY day! I would NOT have sex with him every day even if we were MARRIED. I need a littel time for myself, and there will be day’s that I am NOT interested in a sweaty guy huffing and puffing on top of me. DOUBEL FOOEY if that is why he got divorced. He also has to pay for his children and his first wife’s house in Chapaqua, and he only has a trust fund but NO job, meaneing that he would be hanging around all day, lookeing for sex with me. No, I will NOT meet him in New Rochele, even if it is true he can see LONG Island from his window.
Myrna told me that her freind from South America was leering at her when she came down for an omlete yesterday. She decided to have OATMEAL instead. I do NOT like oatmeal so I would go some where else for an omlete. Myrna should mabye find a guy to marry also so that she will NOT have to have looser’s grope at her crotch again. FOOEY on men that do that. I think she should think of turning him in b/c she did NOTHING to invite that kind of action. DOUBEL FOOEY. WHAT DOES THE HIVE THINK?
tesyaa
Bloomingdale’s still has a carpeting department? Wow.
Orangerie
You should start telling the parents that help from the student services office is only available to current students.
purplesneakers
+1
purplesneakers
Oh wow. I have terrible anxiety (put-things-off-for-weeks-and-then-feel-guiltier kind of anxiety) but I’d never ask my parents to call my school for me, not unless I was in hospital or something. I’m sorry you have to deal with that!
Law Firm Recruiter
It’s not just at the university level. This continues into grad school and employment. I have worked in various AmLaw 100 firms for the last 12 years. I have had several parents contact me to ask why son/daughter did not get an invitation to interview, a callback interview, an offer, etc. I’ve had parents ask what son/daughter needs to wear on the first day of work (summer associates). I’ve had parents want me to send their kids paychecks to them. My answer has always been “son/daughter needs to call me. I can’t and won’t have this conversation with you.” It’s completely out of control and while I used to get angry/irritated, now I just feel really sorry for these kids. They have ZERO life skills. They can’t resolve their own disputes because mommy/daddy fixed everything for them. Many of them will not have long term success in their careers or just as an adult human being.
emeralds
Yeah. I agree with the transition from rage to pity–mostly I’m just like, “Do you know how much you are crippling your child’s ability to function,” but I still get periodic fountains of rage. Like the one that inspired the post!
Law Firm Recruiter
I will admit to the rage moment! I feel like I look like a cartoon character with steam coming out of my ears when I hang up after one of those calls. Then I switch into pity mode. Not sure how it breaks down for you but I feel like it’s more often mothers calling on behalf of sons (rather than any other combo). I first noticed the issue with my much younger cousins. My aunt did everything for them to their detriment. She actually filled in job applications for them. They are now mid-20s men who don’t even know how to change an address on their magazine subscriptions.
Wannabe Runner
Wow. “I’m sorry, I can only discuss this with your son/daughter.” Doesn’t that work?
Often moms and girlfriends are the ones that call me looking to hire an attorney for the man in their life, no matter his age.
Hermione
I hope you’re telling the hiring committee about these calls. Any summer associate who needs his mommy to call his office can’t be trusted with client confidential information.
Law Firm Recruiter
Hermione – the ones who haven’t been hired yet quickly get put in the reject pile when mommy calls; the ones who somehow squeeked through the hiring process and are showing up for summer get a stern talking to by me and our hiring partner about setting appropriate boundaries with parents. They start at deficit that they often can’t make up because they are incapable of managing the workload, the social obligations and the dress code of a summer program. It does not end well in most cases.
Wannabe Runner – as I indicated above, my answer for 12 years has been “son/daughter needs to call me. I can’t and won’t have this conversation with you.” Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t and I get a “well I need to speak to your manager” type which is hilarious because I’m where the buck actually stops.
Law Firm Recruiter
One more thing… I think what may be the saddest part of this is that these adults are not the least bit embarrassed or mortified that their mother called me. They have absolutely no shame about the situation. I’m all for parental support/concern and there are still questions that I like to ask my dad but I do it in private and don’t relay that to my employer!
Also, fwiw, my hiring committee members have been the ones who want to ignore this behavior/give the kid a chance/look at that great school/transcript, etc. Some of them don’t appreciate the information because they are doing this to their own children!
Anon 3L
I’m glad you said this about the hiring committees ignoring this behavior.
I’m in law school with these 23 year olds whose mommy and daddy does everything for them, and they are getting jobs regardless. Several of us who are in our mid thirties (with comparable grades) are getting passed over for the “youthful enthusiasm” and we can’t understand the logic. We’re in class with these people. They are incapable of completing anything without assistance, their parents do everything for them.
I never understood it, but the fact that many of those hiring probably have kids who are the same way makes so much sense.
hoola hoopa
wow
Sydney Bristow
Wow. I can only hope that the adult children have no idea their parents are doing this and would be horrified to find out. It sounds like that isn’t likely though.
L
I can not even begin to imagine this. How absolutely horrifying. Do you think it’s the parents doing it on their own, the kids asking them to, or some combination thereof? I’m just shocked.
Meg Murry
We’ve rented apartments to students before and had Mommy & Daddy write us letters asking us for their kids’ deposits. Nope. The lease was in your kid’s name, the deposit came on a check with the students name on it, and its not our fault your kid left town without giving us a forwarding address or a copy of their key (or even letting us know that they were out of the apartment). I don’t care that you swept the floor and wiped down the counter top for them – when the person who’s name was on the lease calls or writes to us, we’ll be happy to make an arrangement to return to them the portion of the deposit they are owed (once we subtract the cost of the damaged screens and carpet cleaning their not-allowed-on-the-lease cat damaged). But not to Mommy & Daddy, I don’t care if you really were the one paying the rent. Ugh, another reason we avoid renting to students whenever possible.
Brittany
Oh my gosh, if my mother had called my landlord my senior year of college, I would’ve been so embarrassed. Our landlords were the sweetest couple ever (for Christmas that year, since it had been especially cold and our heating bill was a little high, they actually wrote us a small check to put towards it!) and probably would’ve talked to our parents for us, but still – I would be embarrassed to be that kind of renter.
Wildkitten
I had a landlord call my mother even though I was an adult employed 3,000 miles away and hadn’t put her down as a reference. It was fine because my landlord adored my mom and gave me the unit, but, it’s not just kids doing this crazy stuff.
Lawyer Mom of Four
I am going to take a deep breathe and offer a slightly different view.
I have a daughter who is a sophomore in college. She is amazing, self sufficient, capable, etc., and I have never called anyone for her. That being said, if she found herself in a situation where she had done everything she could and was unable to resolve (or could not get administrative attention with respect to) a situation that involved personal safety or mental health, I would be on the phone in a heartbeat including to student services in an attempt to help her.
The university has an obligation to its students and if it can’t meet that obligation, then students have a right to advocacy, including from a parent. Or a lawyer. or both.
So I completely agree with the original poster. But could see a circumstance where a university student might need help.
emeralds
Not sure if you’ll see this, but I wanted to say that I definitely agree with this! (And noted that in a follow-up comment.) There are absolutely situations where a college-aged student needs help and intervention from their parents, and I think everyone in the field (at least that I’ve met) knows and appreciates that.
It’s just that not everyone is as restrained as you are, in terms of not calling unless there is actually, really, honestly, a problem.
Lawyer Mom of Four
I did see your reponse. Thanks! I think we’re in violent agreement. And I completely understand how frustrating it must be to have to deal on a regular basis with overbearing, entitled, micromanaging parents. It is frustrating to parent alongside them too.
Snoozy
Indeed. I remember being frustrated as a student that I had a lecturer who got really worked up when my mother called for me to sort out an issue with an urgent deadline – the reason Mum was on the phone was the fact that I was in bed, really sick without computer access, and without a voice, so I still wonder what I was supposed to have done instead. (I wasn’t asking for special considerations – I was trying to drop out for the semester due to the illness! But I had to do so by a certain date for fee reasons.)
I’m happy to deal with parents when appropriate, and have had some really nice interactions that way. It’s the idiotic contributions that grate…
anonyomous
I got really sick in college, complications with a cancer I had had in highschool. I was so sick that I was unable to really sort out the chaos of the campus process to make sure I notifying everyone properly and put on medical leave for my classes etc. I was just trying to fly back home to get into surgery. I was so thankful that my parents were able and willing to from across the country, to make the phone calls and help me sort out that situation. I felt embarrassed at first for having my “daddy and mommy” call the dean to explain. But then I realized if I had been 10 years older and this had happened with my job, that I would probably have had my husband help sort this out. Sometimes we just need a community to support us. I do agree that often parents should stay out of things, but there are times their support is totally justified.
re Southern Comfort
or whatever that new Charlston reality show is.
I finally watch the pilot. I am wearing Ann Taylor today. Fooey!
Iceland Recs
Has anyone here visited Iceland? I’m intrigued by the mix of culture and scenery. Would a week long trip (flying from the east coast) be enough time to hit the highlights? Any tips or recommendations appreciated!
AIMS
I haven’t but a friend of mine recently did and her advice was to treat yourself to nice restaurants because all the food is really expensive anyway no matter where you go, you may as well enjoy yourself.
Woods-comma-Elle
I haven’t been but all of the people I know who have only did a long weekend from the UK (3-4 days) and it was enough although I think there is plenty to see for longer, especially if you go off the beaten track. As AIMS says, it is mega-expensive so that might also affect how long you want to stay.
SilverSpringWanderer
My husband and I went for two weeks from the east coast of the U.S. We loved it. It is a beautiful, friendly country. The flight is relatively easy and cheap, if you time it right. There is a lot to see there, but I think you could do a really nice trip in a week. I’ll let others speak to what to see because our trip was mostly consumed by our backpacking trip. Outside of that part of the trip, we saw Reykjavik and the south coast, but not much else. We had such a great experience, though, that we talk about going back.
The Blue Lagoon is totally touristy and cheesy and we thought we would hate it, but because it was on the way to the airport, we did it anyway on the last day we were there. We actually really liked it. It was fun and relaxing, if expensive (but so is everything else). A cheaper alternative is to go to the public geothermal pools in Reykjavik.
The only downside to visiting Iceland is what the above poster mentioned: food and lodging is breathtakingly expensive (another reason we spent 10/14 days camping in the wilderness).
emeralds
I haven’t (although it’s on my short-list!) but an acquaintance of mine who runs a travel blog spent some time there last summer, and had a blast. She has a lot of posts about it that you might find helpful. Link to follow!
emeralds
http://youngadventuress.com/
Iceland Recs
I’m a bit jealous of your friend, her travels look amazing!
Sydney Bristow
I haven’t, but do plan on doing it as a stopover for a few days on the way to Europe someday. Iceland Air allows for long stopovers on the way to Europe.
Anon
I went to Iceland – the natural scenery was amazing. I would recommend it. I second Silver’s comments but would add that we stayed in a guesthouse and it was not expensive. My favorite sights were Kerith Crater Lake, driving north of Reykjavik, and driving along the south coast. My favorite meals were at trir frakkar & islennski barinn.
SilverSpringWanderer
I should have mentioned Islennski Barinn. We ate there, too, and really liked it.
Middle Coast
This is a gorgeous country and not very touristy. A week might be too long, 4-5 days gives you plenty of time to see and do alot as it is very expensive. I would recommend going in the middle of the summer so you can experience the midnight sun.
cbackson
I thought it was fine, but not to die for. Pretty, but pricey and I didn’t find it particularly culturally interesting.
culture
Iceland becomes more culturally interesting when you read the Sagas and visit the places mentioned therein. As a lawyer I found the legal history of Iceland to be interesting as well. Our Anglo-American legal system owes many of its fundamental elements to the Old Norse legal system that the Vikings brought to Great Britain in the 8th and 9th centuries. Lindisfarne 793. Never forget.
Well Heeled Blog
I visited Iceland in January. It’s a fascinating place with some seriously beautiful landscapes, and GREAT fish and lamb. If you click on my name you’ll find a whole post I wrote on Iceland, plus prices for different events / restaurants.
My friend and I stayed in Reykjavik, the capitol, and did day trips out to the South Coast and the Golden Circle. If you go in the summer, you’ll have the option of renting your own car and driving around (if you have a week-plus you can drive around the whole of Iceland on their main road, also known as the Ring Road).
I would highly vote for Iceland. Since it’s still winter, I’d look at Icelandair to see if there are flight + hotel deals. I got one of those and it made an expensive destination slightly more affordable. High season in Iceland is June to August, and if you are planning on going this summer, I’d book my rental car, accommodations, etc., ASAP.
Iceland Recs
Thanks for the tips. Your blog looks fantastic!
References
How long should you wait before following up with a hiring manager about checking references? This manager told me she was going to check my references last Wednesday that she “would work on it today and tomorrow or early next week.” I was thinking it might be reasonable to follow up on Wednesday or Thursday of this week – thoughts? More than a week for reference-checking seems a bit slow and disorganized to me.
Anon
Oh good grief that’s normal. Calm down and relax or you risk completely annoying people you’ll be working with.
References
As I imagine you often do with that completely unnecessary snark!
tesyaa
I don’t think that was snark. Sounds like completely serious advice to me.
References
I’ll keep that in mind next time someone asks about following up with a doctor about a medical problem or with a daycare center about a child’s slot or a grad school about a program acceptance (or, in true thissite fashion, about anything related to TTC). My response to anyone else’s question about something important in her life will be “oh good god! relax! don’t be annoying!”
This site has been so full of downright rude responses lately and with plenty of people jumping in to defend them (see how everyone treated Miss Behaved’s subway saga for just one example). This long-time reader and commenter is out for good now and I know I won’t miss it.
tesyaa
There is a major difference between saying “stop annoying me by asking this question” and “don’t do something that will annoy a hiring manager”.
Orangerie
Mountain, meet mole hill.
Anon
Honestly, I think that would annoy the hiring manager and they may pass you over because of it. Give them a chance to get back to you. People are busy.
rosie
This is getting toward micro-managing the hiring process. Do not follow up about checking references. Keep in mind that it can take a while to check references if whoever is doing it has trouble getting in touch with your references and is playing phone tag for a while. It doesn’t mean that the employer is slow and/or disorganized.
References
Thanks, Rosie. I think I’m a little apprehensive since this company has been extremely slow (we’re talking many months) for other aspects of the process and I had an interview completely fall through from their end, but I’ll try to be patient and refrain from following up. There has been conflicting advice about this issue and that’s why I wanted to ask here.
new york associate
Checking references takes forever. It’s really hard to get people on the phone these days, and you end up playing infinite phone tag. I’d check in next week, so she’s had at least two weeks to get the references done.
References
Thanks, ladies. I appreciate the helpful advice – I guess I really am being too impatient (blame it on really wanting this job after all these months…). I’ll wait at least two weeks, as hard as it may be.
Also, I love Ask a Manager and she had at least one post recommending following up that I read some time ago, but I’ll definitely go refresh my memory. That site is the best for career advice – I highly recommend it to anyone seeking a wide range of career topics as well as a diverse and intelligent group of commenters.
rosie
I read AAM, too, and even if she did have one post recommending following up, she has many that caution against it, and she stresses that you need to be careful here. Also, to the extent that you are thinking about “checking in” on your references to see if they have been contacted yet, that could start to annoy your references (which you should totally avoid doing).
Diana Barry
+1, I would give it another week at least.
Wildkitten
especially if the company has been historically slow, they will probably be slow with this too.
NOLA
Exactly, rosie. When you call a reference, they aren’t always available immediately, so you have to schedule a time that works for both of you. It can take time. Sometimes, if you’ve given us 4 references and we need 3, we’ll finally move on to the next one if we can’t reach someone. I would not follow up.
Silvercurls
Search the archives of Ask A Manager (www dot askamanager dot org) for solid advice from Alison Green and thoughtful comments from a wide range of regular readers.
Aggie
The reference portion of the hiring process is almost completely out of the hiring manager’s hands. A week to check three references is about my average. Most of that time is spent leaving messages and returning voicemails to the references. I then have to write up a report of my conversation with each reference and submit it to the hiring committee which also takes a few days to review.
Following up would not speed up my process because most of the time I am either waiting for a return call or waiting for a committee to meet.
HR Perspective
I agree with the advice here and just want to add one more piece. If we’re talking about references and not talking about employment verification, there is no harm in you reaching out to the people you’ve listed as a reference to give them a heads up that you listed them, that Company X will be contacting them about this position, etc.
Employment verification is a different animal and there’s nothing you can really do there.
I also would not reach out to the company at this point. If your references tell you that they have not spoken to anyone yet, give it a bit more time. If they have all spoken to the person conducting the reference checks, I think you can reach out to the company and ask if they need anything else from you.
Meg Murry
Yes, I would give the people you listed as references a heads up, and chances are they will get back to you to let you know they’ve been contacted and gave the reference, especially if they are people you are close with. One of the women I’ve used as a reference (more than once) always asks me for the job description so she can make sure to talk up my good points that are most relevant to the position, which I always appreciate.
Brittany
Fairly new to the hive, but looking for some help. Starting grad school in the fall and I’m looking for a nice bag that I can use to carry my school things around in, but that wouldn’t look out of place if I have to bring it to work or run around town with it before class. I’ll be heading up to a local mall outside of Pittsburgh to do some in-person shopping tomorrow and they have some nice stores (Nordstroms and such), but any suggestions would also be helpful.
I’m looking to stay in a reasonable price range ($150 and under) since a) I’ll be piling up more student loans soon and b) I’m still fairly early in my career. Color isn’t really an issue – I’ve purchased some blues and reds from Zappos, but they were just too small or I didn’t think they would be able to handle the textbooks.
Thanks!
LilyB
Honestly, for law school I loved my le pliage… it’s in your price range and there are tons of colors (I like black, navy, and maroon, they don’t show as much wear/tear or stains). It can hold a a ton of stuff but looks fine for casual wear on the weekends, can even be useful in travel situations, and won’t look out of place at work (though I’d probably not use it for an interview).
LilyB
I should note that I rarely was able to carry my case books in my bag- if I had more than one I’d usually carry two or three in my arms. I can’t really think of a bag other than a backpack that would be good for carrying text books, because it would be a huge strain on your shoulder. Something to consider.
Cb
It’s such a tough one. I started out with a cute leather satchel and am now using an Ikea backpack because my shoulders started to feel the strain after the first term.
Gail the Goldfish
I knew a lot of people who got their case books cut into sections so they didn’t have to carry as much. (I’m too much of a book lover to have done it; something about cutting a book into pieces just seemed so wrong. But it would have lightened the bag significantly)
Brittany
I saw a review somewhere that someone said their le pliage showed some wear and tear after a while, but that was the sole bad review I saw for them. I’ve been wanting a le pliage for a while and this might be the push I need.
Pink
It’s great because it can handle the laptop/books/lunch, but you can also transition it to interviews (if necessary), and later, work & travel tote.
Anonymous
I also loved my Le Pliage. Carried my laptop and several law school books with no problems. I also used it my 2L summer and still use it as a running around bag (I don’t otherwise own large purses, so it’s my go-to bag when I have online shopping returns and don’t want to lug the cardboard box around with me).
I also have two Lo & Sons totes and I’ll say that the Le Pliage when loaded down is far more comfortable than the L&S straps. I also preferred the under-the-arm bag style over a backpack for security reasons when riding crowded public transit to class and will still use it when I want a big daypack in Europe. (Also, it’s much more considerate of your fellow transit riders–large backpack wearers tend to be totally oblivious to the seated riders they nearly decapitate every time they shift in the bus aisle.)
San Diego
Longchamps will repair the corners/wear and tear.
Edith
My go-to work/school/general life bag is the 15 inch satchel from Cambridge Satchel Company. They’re pricey, but beautiful and well-made, and look classy in every situation. I also have the 11 inch as a purse, and it fits an iPad perfectly.
emeralds
Honestly? Get a backpack. I carried a Le Pliage bag all through undergrad with no problem, but my older body is not strong enough to haul around a laptop + two textbooks + purse flotsam on one shoulder. It’s not the s e x i e s t option, but it’s saved my back and shoulders. I keep a wristlet in it, for when I want to go someplace without hauling the whole backpack with me.
Anon
Back pack. “Pretty ” isn’t worth busting up your shoulders over
Anonymous
+1
hoola hoopa
+1
Graduate student life is nomadic. It’s not just a book and a notepad. You’ll have textbooks, binders, computer, food, gym clothes, etc.
Wannabe Runner
+1. If you want a cheap tote, Target is the place. I’m always using Target bags. They often have several sizes in one color/shape.
Backpack really is where it’s at if you’re in a program where you will be carrying lots of books (law, med, business, etc.). If you’re in like social work or something with fewer texts (or more online work) a messenger bag would probably work.
Brittany
I’ve used Target totes before – in fact, there’s one that’s currently sitting in my office for a specific project that requires carrying a lot of things outside of the office and it’s held up fairly well, since I purchased it right after I graduated in 2010.
I think what I’m taking most from this is that I should keep my options open, but wait until I see what my program and schedule actually require of me before I start purchasing.
Thanks for all the help folks!
Killer Kitten Heels
Sign up for the Coach Factory Outlet emails – it works like a flash sale website (sales are for a limited time, and when the bags are gone, they’re gone), and you can get really nice bags at really good prices. (For your purposes, based on their current inventory, the Peyton Leather Jordan Double Zip Carryall looks like it’d work well.) I know opinions on Coach are mixed, but their plain leather (un-logo-ed) bags are still solid quality and have a nice, classic look to them, at least IMO.
Diana Barry
Grad school – I would use a backpack. Otherwise you’ll ruin your back by carrying all your books.
Katie
I just got the Amalfi bag from Banana Republic during one of their 40% off sales (which they have going on right now), which brings it down to around $100. I really like it- it has a laptop sleeve section, is lightweight, and will serve as a carry-on/ overnight bag in a pinch.
purplesneakers
Backpack. Backpack. Backpack. Get a nice sturdy LL Bean/Tom Bihn/Victorinox that can handle your books and laptop, and then hit TJ Maxx or similar for a bag.
I made the mistake of using a messenger bag during my last two years of HS, when I had multiple AP classes and correspondingly massive textbooks. Ten years later and my right shoulder still hasn’t quite forgiven me.
Please get a backpack. Your body will thank you.
Wildkitten
I used either a backpack (when I had a lot of stuff to carry that was heavy) or a kate spade baby bag (when I had a normal amount of stuff to carry and wanted to look professional at my internship before or after class).
AIMS
If you’re going to be carrying heavy books, avoid leather, esp. with any kind of heavy hardware, and look for something in a durable nylon with thick straps that won’t dig into your shoulders. When I started law school, I purchased the most gorgeous leather bag that would fit all my books but was torture to carry with more than my laptop, and even then.
HappyAnon
Can I express my happiness here as it would reflect badly on me if I expressed it in real life…
A person who made my life so difficult at work that I started looking for a different job is leaving the company this friday.. I just received an email and I am so relieved to know this…
If one more person who constantly troubles me leaves, I can happily stay at my current job :-)
Silvercurls
Vicariously rejoicing here on your behalf!
Orangerie
+1! And also a bit jealous; I dream of the day my painfully incompetent coworker leaves.
Marilla
Congratulations! I dream of the day one of my particularly difficult co-workers takes retirement.
Anon for this
My horrible, difficult supervisee was laid off a few weeks ago and it’s been a HUGE relief. I almost feel bad because my coworkers are struggling with trying to fill the void for the people they lost while I’m doing the happy dance. She was totally unproductive and treated me very badly, no matter what I did to try and improve her situation and her work. I was completely over it.
Alana
Who you work with can make a world of difference. Congratulations.
KLG
+1
HappyAnon
Thank you ladies.. :-)
Senior Attorney
Congratulations! Happy dancing here on your behalf!
DC Association
I was asked to serve on an advisory board for a three year term. Before accepting, I got approval from my boss to serve. He agreed.
Well, I’m on my way to said board meeting and now my boss has pulled the plug, he told me I have to resign (main reason, too much time out of the office). The thing is…my boss is retiring, he’ll be gone by the end of the year and what I do after he is gone is really none of his concern. The new boss could decide if I can serve or not.
I already cannot attend the second meeting of the year due to a schedule conflict, and there is no time commitment outside of attending the meetings, so it would not affect anything with the current boss.
While not resigning would be not following orders, could I explain the situation to the organization and say, I already cannot attend in October, can we revisit my participation after I get a new boss? I just feel so bad that I am on a flight that they paid for (thanks Gogo inflight internet) and this is supposed to be the one and only meeting I attend. Yes, while on this flight he emailed me to say I need to resign.
While I do love my job, there is no upward mobility here nor chance for more responsibilities (my boss is the head of my organization), so this is a different way for me to grow, which is why I want to do this. My boss is not a professional in my functional area, so he really doesn’t get it, although he thinks he does. If he were not retiring, I am fully serious in saying I’d be looking for a new job, because I am tired of this type of thing happening.
Thanks all!
Diana Barry
I am confused. What kind of advisory board? Why do you need your boss’s permission to serve on the board in the first place?
I wouldn’t say anything to the organization since you are already on your way there.
Who will be the head of your organization when your boss leaves?
DC Association
I am a conference planner and the advisory board is a city’s convention bureau. I needed his OK because it requires time out of the office to attend the meetings. Plus he is extremely controlling so if I accepted without permission, it would be holy hell!
The search is on for a new boss. Don’t know who it will be yet.
Diana Barry
Hmm. I probably would have just used vacation time.
Can you ignore the email from him about resigning from the board or will he expect a response? If the latter then I would say that you can’t back out of this meeting (because you are ALREADY THERE) but that “this is the only meeting I can attend this year” and that you won’t have any more time out of the office for this organization. Or something like that.
DC Association
I had to write back and after a few exchanges of emails (where I tried to support my cause) he said, sorry, you have to tell them this is your last meeting and you can no longer serve. He doesn’t expect me to back out of this one.
My thought is to tell them that my current boss no longer supports my participation but I’m getting a new one, rather than outright resigning. Then I could tell him that yes, I let them know that my participation on the board was no longer supported. Which isn’t a lie. But it’s also not following orders…which is my quandry.
Anon99
How does it make any sense that your boss can forbid you from spending your non-work time in whatever way you wish, as long as it doesn’t create an ethical conflict with your work? Just take vacation time.
If this is even remotely acceptable in your organization as a whole, you don’t need a new boss – you need a new job.
zora
I think your plan makes sense. You are just putting it off till you get a new boss, not like you are going to ignore his ‘order’ and go to another meeting anyway without telling him.
Remember, no one is watching out for your a$$ except you. Don’t beat yourself up for not unquestioningly ‘folllowing his orders’. You didn’t take an oath, you’re doing your job. I really commiserate and I think boss is being unreasonable! good luck!
Aggie
So your commitment to this board is 2 meetings a year? How many days out of the office does that equate to? If this is your only meeting of the year, then just let it be until new boss takes over.
I would then present the situation to new boss, explain to him how much value this committee will bring to your position and offer to take vacation time during the meetings (especially if it is only 4-8 days per year.) My paralegal serves on a committee that requires her to travel to New York three times per year (nine days out of the office a year.) At first, she would use her comp time, but after noticing the value added to the firm from these meetings, I asked HR to only charge her comp time for half the time out of the office (4.5 days per year.) Next year, we will likely not charge her for comp time at all.
new york associate
Paging Miss Behaved – in case you’re reading this, I’d love an update on what happened with the ski weekend at the vacation house!
Seconded
+1000
Miss Behaved
I just saw this. I was in meetings all day.
The weekend was surprising low-key. I got a single bed. My brother and his wife brought a pack and play for his son. My sister and I got along pretty well. She usually gets irritated with me. I’m her lightning rod. If she’s angry about something and I’m there, she takes it out on me. But I skied with her and we had fun.
My mother, however, broke something at this rental house. Last time, if you’ll remember, I was watching the nieces when a lamp broke. This time a window broke. It was a very tense 15 minutes or so. But it worked out okay. I didn’t get to spend much time with my nieces, though. They were prepping for a bordercross snowboard race and so couldn’t ski with us.
And regarding my uncle’s birthday party at the club this past Sunday, my sister-in-law did not wear the lingerie-style BCBG dress from RTR, but she did choose another dress from the same location. It was so short it looked like she was preparing to skate the long program at Sochi. It also had 3-quarter lace sleeves threaded with gold lace.
I have you ladies to thank, though. She and I and my cousin’s wife and my mother played dysfunctional family bingo at the dinner. Corporette for the win!
zora
aw, yay! I’m glad it worked out and you got a bed without anyone being mad at you. Maybe all your patience is finally paying off and people are chilling out a bit. thanks for reporting back, I’ve been thinking about you, too and hoping you got to have some fun without a bunch of drama! ;o)
new york associate
So glad that it worked out! Your weekend sounds about as good as it can get for a big family all-in-one-house shindig :)