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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
The Nordstrom End of Summer Clearance sale has started, and there are a ton of great things. I'll try to do a little roundup later today, but right now I'm loving this fun ombre fit and flare dress from Eliza J — it's a flat polyester fabric (with 5% spandex), but almost looks like a tweed from far away. Lovely. It's available in regular and petites, sizes 2-16, for $105.86 (was $158). Eliza J Print Ombré Sleeveless Fit & Flare Dress
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(L-3)
Sales of note for 9.16.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 30% off wear-now styles
- J.Crew Factory – (ends 9/16 PM): 40% off everything + extra 70% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Extra 25% off all tops + markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
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Ellen
Yay Kat! This is a great buy, and I love NORDSTROM! The 5% spandex should work wonders around my tuchus, where I NEED a littel extra room for stretching, particularly when I sit down. Frank say’s my tuchus look’s like Jennifer Lopez’s tuchus, but I don’t think so. I onley wish that I had her tuchus!
Myrna want’s to meet me after work to have me meet a guy named Frederick. I once knew a guy named Fred and he was kind of schlumpey, but for some reason he thought I would go into the back room of a bar with him! What nerve! FOOEY! I did NOT even know his last name and what was he thinkeing? DOUBEL FOOEY!
What is the HIVE doeing for Labor day, beside’s shoppeing? I am goeing to the Hamton’s with Myrna! YAY!!!
Francine
I will be staying in the City. Guys in theHamptons want immediate gratification. It’s not worth it for the price of a couple of Mojitos.
VJ
Agreed. A couple of cheap Mojitos might run a guy $50 with tip. Getting a henna and a blow-out in the Hamptons could easily cost you $250 with tip, not to mention the walk of shame on Saturday morning.
Mat Leave Survey
Survey time:
– What is your company’s maternity leave policy in terms of time off and compensation (how many weeks at full pay, how many weeks at partial pay/short-term disability)?
– What is your company type/profile/size/industry?
– Do you consider the leave policy to be “good”, based on your definition of “good”?
I am in a position to influence ours going forward and would love some data anecdotal points on other companies and industries.
Good ol' USA
Oh, yes. A favorite policy of mine. I work for a large state government (you know, the ones who have the supposedly cushy benefits, right?) and here is what we have:
You can use your sick time for 6 weeks after a non-surgical delivery or 8 weeks after a c-section. If you have limited f sick time accrued, you can get ST Disability at 50% of pay for up to the 6-8 week mark, minus a 14 day waiting period.
Other than that, you use your vacation and personal time, which luckily roll over from year to year. They also let you work for a reduced paycheck up front and bank those hours so you keep getting paid during your leave. The only good part is that they keep paying their full share of benefits, provided you are drawing at least a 50% paycheck.
They do allow you to take 7 months off, no questions asked (but no paycheck guaranteed), which is cool.
Anonymous
That’s still pretty amazing. Totally.
I work in a job with no benefits, as do many in this country. Everything is relative.
Blonde Lawyer
No benefits meaning you get fired if you take leave or no benefits as in no pay if you take leave?
Good ol' USA
Oh, I recognize that I am fortunate to have what I do have available to me!
My framing was moreso to make the point that ‘this is what a the generally-accepted-as-generous government policy looks like’.
What I strongly dislike, from a policy and overall social justice standpoint, is that the bar in the US is set so low and so many individuals (like you!) have 0 benefits that even the 12 weeks of unpaid leave from FMLA is often considered generous.
I reserve the right to be resentful that I have had to hoard vacation days for the past 3 years in the case I want to take maternity leave.
Anonymous
Absolutely. I am a government employee as well and am equally resentful. Basically I can either have kids or take a vacation (ever), but not both. If I hoard all the leave I can for two years, then I can have a baby. Gotta hoard for two more years to have another baby… and not take a single solitary personal day in that four years, let alone a two- or three-day vacation. And better hope my magic babies don’t get sick after they’re born, cause I darn sure don’t have the leave time to take care of them for a sick day. ‘MURICA!!
Anonymous
Just left Big Law. We had 24 weeks total, 18 of them paid. I think that’s average or slightly better than average for Big Law and very generous compared to a lot of other legal employers. I’m at a small firm now. We have no official policy and the firm considers it on a case by case basis, but from my research it seems like it will be tough to get even 12 weeks unpaid. I regret not having a baby while I was in Big Law.
ace
Had two babies at two biglaw firms with the 18 paid/24 unpaid week policy described by this Anonymous. I believe both had short-term disability plans that would result in a portion of the salary being covered by an insurance policy, though this was behind the scenes and as an associate you just got your full regular salary.
At the first firm, we had a “nocation” policy which resulted in not have any PTO to stack on top of the maternity leave. Most people took the 18 weeks paid, though some took the extra 6 weeks (or a portion of them) unpaid. I left before getting a bonus so I’m not sure how that was handled.
Second firm, we have a specific amount of vacation per year, which could be stacked on top of maternity leave, so I ended up taking about 20 weeks of paid leave (2 weeks vacation + 18 weeks ML). NY lockstep bonus system and got full bonus the year I took ML.
I think one thing that was missing from both firms was some sort of ramp-up period. It might be negotiable on a case-by-case basis, but for me I just went from 100% to 0% then back to 100% upon return to work. Considering you have to spend time getting work, and work will naturally flow away from you as you prepare to take leave, I think a ramp up period would be a good option.
big law anon
A big law firm with vacation??? Did you get hours credit for it? If it’s just “two weeks vacation” but you still have to bill 2000 hours, I don’t see how that’s vacation.
A ramp up would be awesome, but with them giving such generous leave, I doubt that would ever happen.
Anonymous
Lots of Big Law firms have vacation. Ours was 3 weeks. No hours credit but it’s still vacation (much more so than firms that provide “no limit” on the vacation you can take). You just factor the 3 weeks into your weekly hours target. Plus at my old firm you could accrue up to 3 weeks and it was paid out on departure.
Anon at 10:09
big law anon
I still don’t see how that’s really vacation. You have to make up for it in hours elsewhere. I think my firm has two weeks of vacation, but it’s totally irrelevant to me. I take what I want to take and what I can make up for. It honestly probably adds up to over two weeks, but I always work some while on vacation so maybe not that much.
I guess being paid for it on departure makes it more like vacation, but otherwise, I just don’t see it.
Anonymous
I’m not in BigLaw, but my firm could I suppose be considered regional biglaw. We officially have 3 weeks vacation, but based on the “you still have to meet your hours,” I’m not sure it’s even tracked for attorneys or that anyone would care if you took more time as long as you hit your hours. It doesn’t carry over or pay out if you leave, so it’s really pretty meaningless.
Anonymous
Isn’t this how it is at most jobs except for say, retail? I don’t work in law at all, but if I go out for a week, all my assignments are still waiting for me on my return.
big law anon
No, because big law is all about hte billable hour, and we have to bill forty hours per week regardless of whether you’re on vacation. So it’s not a matter of your work still being there. It’s a matter of having to find additional work when you get back to make up for the hours that you didn’t bill while you were gone.
The billable hour s*cks so much more than I knew before I started. Billing forty hours a week didn’t sound so bad. But it’s so soul sucking to track every six minutes of your life. And it takes a lot more time in the office than forty hours to get to that billable target. And you have to bill a lot more than that to make up for slow times, plus any vacation you take, and anything you do about forty hours a week is at night and on the weekend, which is your most precious time.
MNF
I think the difference is that, in another job, when you return you still have to do your assignments during the workday (say 9-5), but this situation is more akin to taking 40 hours of vacation one week, and having to work 80 hours the following week to make up for the time lost.
ace
Having an allotment of vacation days that you can use each year is not that unusual at BigLaw. It typically does not affect billable requirements.
My first firm that had a “nocation” policy said you could be absent from the office consistent with work obligations and meeting hours requirements; my second firm basically says the same thing plus “… and you accrue X number of days per month.” At the second, I believe we would be paid out for vacation if we left and at the first I don’t think there is the same requirement. Hope that clarifies.
FWIW, to your point about billing “40 hours a week”, neither of my big firms looked at hours requirements on a weekly — or even monthly — basis. Yes, you should end the year having billed 2000+ (averaging 40 hrs x 50 weeks), but as long as you were as busy as the other people at your approximate level/the dept as a whole, no one would call you into the office to say, “you billed 38 hours last week and that is NOT COOL.” (again, unless all your comparators billed 60 hours a week). I know people who work at smaller firm where there is a requirement to bill 160 hrs a month and you’re dinged if you don’t, but my big firms haven’t done that.
ace
And regarding ramp up, I think your point about billing 40 hours a week actually supports this. It seems really unlikely that someone can walk in the door after being gone for 4.5 months and find 40 hours of billable work to do in her first week. I was lucky that I was able to keep hours up until the end of my second pregnancy because I had a big case going to trial and they wanted as much work as they could out of me before I left. In my experience, there’s a lot of wind-down near the end of pregnancy because (as suck*y as it is) people stop giving the pregnant lady work and would rather transition to someone who is going to be available a month or two down the road ( <– very much not agreeing with this approach but it ends up being true in my experience).
I'm done taking maternity leave for now, but I think offering an option like 16 weeks paid (0 billable requirements), then 2 weeks paid (50% billable requirements) then full return to work would be an option that some people would like. . . Then you're not digging yourself out of a hole from the first month or so when you have to go around begging for work
grumble
Not all biglaw has 24 – some are just 12 weeks. :(
Anon
– Policy varies by department. In mine, I took 12 weeks and didn’t get any push back, but I don’t think that would be the case in some other departments. That being said, none of it was paid. I have a STD policy (that I pay for myself) that paid 4 weeks at 60% (after a 14 day waiting period). I made up the difference with a few vacation days (we don’t have sick days) and savings.
– I work in an in-house legal department for a private company with around 10,000 employees.
– I appreciate that I was able to take the amount of time that I wanted, but think the fact that none if it was paid is ridiculous. The fact that there is literally no paid maternity leave is one of the very few complaints I have about my job. I would have appreciated (and been really happy with) 2 weeks paid, but even that is a joke when you look at what other countries offer.
anon
Boutique law firm of about 20 people. Policy works out to five months total. Six weeks of that is paid (60% through STD with the firm making up the other 40% for the parent who just gave birth, straight paid for dads or partners; because of the one-week waiting period, though, the firm pays that first week for women so it ends up being 7 weeks paid). You can use vacation as well, but aren’t required to.
I think it is a good policy compared to other similarly sized businesses, and compared to other smallish law firms I know of. I would consider a truly good policy to be at least three months paid, though. I took 4.5 months, 2.5 months of which was unpaid (used vacation), and all that unpaid time was really stressful.
All moms in my firm have taken at least 4 months. Dads have taken between 8 weeks and 4 months. We’ve had a LOT of little babies recently!
mascot
Several firms I have worked for paid the employees premiums for disability insurance and then made up the difference between the disability benefit and the salary.
Anon
Wow..this may out my company
1. For mothers: 8 weeks fully paid FMLA , 8 Weeks fully paid leave , 3 weeks half pay , 3 weeks no pay. So you can take a total of 22 weeks
For fathers: 8 weeks fully paid leave, 3 weeks half pay and 3 weeks no pay. So a total of 14 weeks
2. Fortune100/100000+/Tech
3. I think it is good. Especially because you can add your saved up vacation time or sabbatical time and extend your maternity leave to 30 weeks. I will continue to be in this company at least till have children and they are two years old.
I think what matters more than the number of weeks of maternity leave is that it should be made sure women should not be punished for taking that leave. I have heard from few women that it has happened. I have a very good manager who is a woman and big on work-life balance. I have seen her get very excited(in a good way) when team members announce they are expecting (all are men, I am the only woman apart from my manager). I have seen men on our team taking their 14 weeks of parental leave without any hesitation and come back to good assignments. So I am confident I will be okay taking all of my allotted maternity leave.
OP
Do you consider having a reduced bonus because you were on leave “punishment”? We’re having internal discussions around that point, particularly because our total compensation is extremely bonus heavy. So 60% short-term disability pay ends up being like 10% of total comp because bonuses are docked (and not insignificantly) when you’re on leave.
OP
FWIW, I’m not in law, but “Big Finance”
cbackson
I think bonus should be reduced but in proportion to how much time you took off. I don’t think an employee who took leave should receive the same bonus as employees who didn’t. We prorate bonuses for any approved leave at my Biglaw firm, and I think that’s fair.
Anon
I think it depends on the proportion of the total compensation that is bonus. If 75% of your compensation is bonus, I don’t know how it is fair if you just take it away during maternity leave. It is like you are paying them 25% during the leave.
Anon
Also curious how your company treats medical leave. Say a person is out for four months due to illness, will his bonus gets prorated too?
Renee
As a pregnant women who has picked up work and worked long hours bc colleagues have been on maternity, I think paid maternity is well deserved, but the bonus money should go to the colleagues that work their asses off to give you that paid maternity leave, esp if you take more than 2 months.
Anon
I have heard that they got no or minimal raises, no stock, no promotion the year they took maternity leave and it was roughly chalked up to them being gone for one third of the year. There was also a component of lack of trust when they came back from the leave and they had to work harder just to regain that trust (for example, she may be looked over for promotion because now that she has a child, she may not perform to her full potential or she is considered less dependable). What I consider fair is if you allow people to take six month leave then you have to measure their work against six month time when they worked, not full year. If they have done enough work that you expect from any employee during those six months, then they should be eligible for full compensation, benefits, raises etc. It is unfair when their six month’s worth of work is measured against one full year time.
OP
Very well said – thank you.
Lyssa
I just finished mine. Small law firm with no actual policy (on this or much else really), and limited experience in this issue (pretty sure that I was only the 2nd attorney ever to need it).
Six weeks full pay, flexible if I want to take more time unpaid (I took 8 weeks total). No STD coverage.
There’s obviously no limit to the amount of time that I would love to take off or get paid for, but I feel like this was more than fair, and it seems similar to other similarly situated businesses in the area.
Ems
– We get 12 weeks fully paid, with the option of up to another 12 unpaid (though vacation time can be used to get paid for some of the time that would otherwise be unpaid).
– Regional mid-law, AmLaw Second Hundred.
– I ended up taking about 4 months, paid for about 3.5 months since I topped off with vacation time. I was happy.
Anonny
My country has 15 weeks paid and 1 year unpaid job protection. Most companies usually do 16-18 weeks paid though.
AN
16 weeks off, fully paid. No impact on bonus, which means it didn’t get pro rated.
anne-on
Big 4 firm, its a combo of 2 weeks off prior to your due date (paid) + (paid) FMLA + paid maternity leave + you can stack vacation and holiday time (and you continue to accrue PTO while on FMLA). I had a c-section, so it worked out to something like 5.5 months all paid? I didn’t add in my vacation time, so I could have stayed out closer to 6 months. They’ll also hold your job, unpaid, for up to a year. We also get unlimited sick time for yourself and immediate family which was a godsend for those ‘baby goes to daycare and gets every bug under the sun’ months.
Our benefits are insanely good, almost everyone I speak to is crazy jealous. Our pay is certainly competitive, but not shockingly the hours can be rough.
big law anon
Yeah, similar to big law, it’s like the worse the job is, the better they have to make maternity leave so that people will come back afterwards.
(Obviously, this statement is very limited to white collar, professional jobs.)
s-non
I am also at a Big 4 firm – though I am in the consulting side. I’m not TTC anytime soon so haven’t done my own research, but from what I have heard anecdotally, we get the same paid FMLA + paid maternity leave (3 months) + PTO time if you want. We get 5-6 weeks (depending on level) of PTO a year so it can add on a lot to the leave.
banker
American arm of a European bank.
We get 12 weeks paid and can take an additional 8 weeks unpaid. Full benefits through both periods, bonus not impacted.
Yes it’s great, however all of the European arms of the company get 26 weeks paid plus 26 weeks unpaid. Honestly think maternity benefits need to be at the forefront of the political landscape – wtf America.
anon
And they pay much higher taxes, so your take home pay would be significantly affected at the top of the pay scale, which is where I assume you are.
I mean, maybe it’s worth it, but we can’t just poof! everything is the same but we get better maternity leave.
Anon
I’d be 100% down for paying more in taxes and having European benefits/healthcare/social services. All day, every day.
AIMS
Me too. Higher taxes than mean I can actually stay home a reasonable amount of time, not have to worry about child care when I go back to work and the absurd cost of that, free higher education, free healthcare, etc. – I want all of that.
Senior Attorney
Boy, no kidding!
Anonymous
Me too
Katie
This is actually highly dependent on which country in Europe you’re talking about, and which income bracket you belong to. I know many middle class Americans would actually be paying similar taxes to what they pay now if they lived in certain parts of Europe– their taxes just don’t have to fund a massive defense budget!
Anonymous
I work for a very small contractor, a dozen employees or less. None of us are in a position to be having children right now, but they are explicit in our handbook that we are exempt from FMLA. If I got pregnant tomorrow, I assume I’d maybe have whatever leave I could hoard (2-3 weeks) while pregnant and maybe go a week in the hole. They might, might, might spot me a week or two of unpaid leave, but that would be it. Not because my company are bad people, but because it’s a small company with little room for error or overhead, and we almost all work on client sites. No telework option.
Meg Murry
Yes, I now work for a small non-profit with less than a dozen employees, and same thing, the handbook makes it clear that we are exempt from FMLA, but the company will do its best to work with a person but no guarantees. I technically could cobble together 3-4 weeks paid between vacation and sick leave, which is pretty generous, so I’m guessing if I could probably pull off 6 weeks off total, getting partially paid.
However, this was made explicitly clear to me in my interview so I knew what I was getting in for. My previous company (Fortune 500) had many more “family friendly” practices on the books. but in reality there was a lot of the “what do you mean you didn’t accomplish as much the year you had a baby as your childless colleagues?” side eye and lots of people looking to step on you on their way up the ladder – lots of throwing under the bus to make themselves look better. My new company doesn’t pretend to be family friendly while penalizing you for using the benefits they offer – I have pretty generous vacation and sick time and the ability to flex my schedule, so as long as I’m getting work done or swapping with coworkers to cover for me (and me for them), I have a much better work-life balance and ability to do things like pop out early once a week for my turn at carpool, for instance.
In House Counsel
Our company’s maternity leave policy in terms of time off and compensation –>entitled to 12 weeks off total under FMLA with 6 weeks at full pay for vaginal birth, 8 weeks for c-section. They do apply your sick/vacation time to apply to the 12 weeks (so you can’t say take 6 weeks paid, 6 weeks unpaid and then try to apply your PTO time) — you are allowed to only save 5 PTO days and thus can’t conserve your vacation for later in the year which I found bizarre.
– Large media/publishing company with over 8000 employees worldwide
– Having had 2 kids here vs at my old BigLaw gig, I’d say its middle of the road in terms of being good. However, the company/my department is pretty good about telecommute options and since coming back after kid no.1, I’ve been able to move to officially working from home a couple days a week
CPA Lady
-2 weeks paid. This is a recent development. Last year, when I had my kid it was 0 weeks paid. Otherwise you just blow through all your vacation and sick time, and take partial pay with STD (I had a C-section so I had 2 weeks at 100% and 4 weeks at 66%. If you have a v-delivery, it’s 2 weeks at 100% and 2 weeks at 66%). Beyond that, you’re allowed to take unpaid time off.
-large regional public accounting firm (800-ish across all the offices)
-I think it’s terrible. You lawyers are lucky.
Anonymous
“You lawyers are lucky.” barf
CPA Lady
Haha, well, not overall. But when it comes to maternity leave benefits.
Anonymous
Still, far from all lawyers when it comes to maternity leave. My prior job was whatever paid leave you have accumulated, otherwise unpaid, now it is a bit more generous but not too sure of specifics.
Anon for this.
Hah. I’m a lawyer at a small firm, and I would absolutely get fired if I got pregnant.
It’s not legal, but it’s totally what they would do…
Sigh
State government. We get the 12 weeks of FMLA, but whether it’s paid or unpaid depends on how much PTO you want to use. We do get short term disability, which works out to 2 or 4 weeks (depending on type of delivery) at 60% pay. I’m planning to be out about 9 weeks, and hoping not to burn through all my PTO, since I know I’ll need it once I have a kid in daycare, aka a germ-warfare-ridden country.
Out of Place Engineer
I work for a large, global engineering/manufacturing company in the US.
We get 6/8 weeks short term disability @ 100% paid. You can extend your unpaid leave by 12 weeks FLMA, then up to 1 year Dependent Care Leave. You can take another year (for a total of 2 years) but there is no guarantee that your exact same job will be waiting for you. You could also use your vacation time in there to get paid, and then go back out. Or use your vacation to come back “part-time” for a couple of months to ramp up back into work.
I wish more was paid, but I loved the no-hassle time off. I took 9 months off with my first and 6 months off with my second and no one said anything. Also — short term disability covered 100% of my pay for the 6 weeks of bed rest before delivery.
Anonymous
My company has no paid maternity leave for US employees, but there are discussions about possibly providing paid maternity leave in the future. Currently, we can purchase a STD policy, but that only pays for 4 weeks at 60% pay. We can also use our vacation days (at my level, that equals 4 weeks). We are a private, global company with more than 30k employees.
I’m disappointed that my company doesn’t offer any paid maternity leave. We are very bottom heavy, and the lowest rungs (and greatest number of employees) have very high turnover, so I understand the business justification for not offering it at the lowest level, but I think the company needs to implement a paid maternity leave policy to attract and retain talented women of childbearing age. Certain decisionmakers understand the need for it, but there have been more pressing business concerns than that in the past few years. Hopefully that will change before DH and I have kids.
2 Cents
Boutique ad agency that doesn’t fall under FMLA, so it uses the NYS disability definitions
–Use any PTO first (up to 20 days can be carried) (and it’s a bummer if you have a kid, bc you’ll inevitably need more later for doctor’s visits, sick child, etc.)
–8 weeks of pay based on how long you’ve been an employee (>2 years 60%, 2-5 years 75%, 5+ 100%)
–After 8 weeks, eligible for NYS STD for up to 26 weeks ($170/week)
–Can supplement NYS STD with a LTD plan through our benefits company.
It’s better than not getting paid anything!
shamlet96
Federal government (attorney). No paid maternity leave whatsoever – everything has to come from sick leave and annual leave. Luckily sick leave rolls over from year to year and I have been hoarding mine for the past five years. The only real benefit is that we can take six months, no questions asked, no one blinks an eye.
State Gov't
Similar – can use sick and vacation time, whatever’s been accrued. Not a day of paid maternity leave. Can go on half pay to stretch the paychecks. Technically allowed to take up to a year unpaid, would probably be frowned upon to take more than 5-6 months, and I wouldn’t be able to afford a year unpaid anyway, only have enough vacation and sick time for a few months at this point and will maybe have a bit more when I actually need to take it.
If I worked for the city of my state, I would get 3 months paid maternity leave plus could use vacation and sick time for another 3 months. Policy applies to moms and dads equally. Unfortunately, my liberal city is hampered by a not so liberal state and as a state employee I don’t get those benefits. Also unfortunately, everyone assumes I get them because I am in a liberal city and so I get a lot of “at least you don’t have to worry about that stuff!” comments.
If I was writing national policy I would have everyone get 6 months paid time off, men and women.
Not the original poster
I agree with you but I’m curious what you say in response to the counter argument I usually hear of “why should I pay somebody who isn’t currently providing us value.” I also hear “why should we provide greater benefits for pregnancy than other medical leave.” And the tried and true “having a kid is a choice. You don’t have to have one.” The people I’m referring to don’t care about the benefit to society generally. To keep and retain awesome women workers makes it too much of a women’s issue for me when it should be an everybody issue.
State Gov't
I don’t necessarily think that an employer needs to pay someone, it could be the gov’t subsidizing the employer or the employee directly. The government does get value from their citizens reproducing in developed countries. Look at Italy and Russia – they have very low birth rates and are trying everything they can to incentivize motherhood. I think in Russia you get to go on leave at 7 months, get one year paid and up to three at a reduced rate, and they even pay you a bonus upon birth. Wouldn’t want to live there now, but that’s what happens when citizens aren’t reproducing at a sustainable rate of growth. Also, I think many employers do get value out of supplying their workers with good benefits. I am much more productive at work when I have reasonable accommodations and benefits and I think I’m more likely to work hard and do good work as a result. I think if you look at studies of many European countries – countries with good benefits like the NL and Germany also have some of the most productive workers.
As to the other two points: I think there should be better accommodations for all sorts of short term medical leave. It makes no sense to lose an experienced worker you’ve invested time and money into training because they are going to be unable to work for six months once or twice in what could be a decades long service. Also, while not everyone has kids, a great majority of people do go through this so why not accommodate something so very common?
And, yes, it’s a choice but it’s one that again is very common and needs to be addressed by society. It’s a choice to celebrate Xmas but we still acknowledge that many people do and thus it is a federal holiday. It’s a choice to go on vacation, also, but again most people need a break once in a while and we recognize that. It’s a choice even to decide when you’re too sick for work, but we recognize that sometimes it’s good to let the person stay home. This whole “choice” argument only makes sense to me if you’re reading Ayn Rand for the first time in college. Otherwise, people need to grow up and realize society is all a series of tradeoffs and choices and we as a society recognize some choices as warranting an accommodation.
Not the original poster
Thanks for the reply. I wasn’t trying to challenge you but trying to come up w/ more retorts I can use myself.
anon a mouse
Also a Fed but my agency limits the amount of paid sick time you can take after a birth. Only 6 weeks for v-delivery or 8 weeks for a c-section. Anything else is either unpaid FMLA or using annual leave. I have heard of friends having doctors write them out on bedrest for 1-2 weeks before the birth so they can use 2 weeks of sick leave in advance, though.
JEB
Also a Fed. I saved my sick and annual leave for 5 years, rarely taking any time off. I managed to cobble together 14 weeks of maternity leave. I have no idea what I’ll do if we have a second kid!
I’ll add, the Feds don’t have a STD policy you can buy into…nothing at all.
Info
Shamlet 96, can you tell us more about how you can take 6 months as a federal employee? I’m a fed too but don’t think we have that… But I’d like to fenagle it somehow, if it’s possible.
Anon for this
Boutique law firm with about 25 lawyers. We get 3 months paid. We are extremely busy, so I don’t think they would be happy if an attorney wanted to take additional unpaid leave, but I’m not sure if anyone has asked. I’m ecstatic with the leave. I still got a raise this year I when I went on leave. Not sure yet with bonuses. We have two types of bonuses – one end of year bonus tied to firm profits, and one tied to exceeding billable hour targets. I would expect not to get any bonus for exceeding my target, but would expect to share in the profit bonus. The top 2 or 3 large firms (branches of biglaw) in my region give 4 months paid, but most firms do closer to 2 months.
QuestionForOP
OP, you mentioned you are in big-finance with bonus heavy compensation. I am wondering what is the thought process on the bonus numbers for women who take mat leave as you are coming up with policy around this.
I am in a front office role so bonus is a major portion of my total compensation. How much of the bonus will be reduced if you take mat leave? Does it depend on duration of the leave? My company officially gives 12 weeks at full pay if you are working more than 5 years, otherwise it is certain % at full pay for less than 5 years.
But this full pay I am guessing refers to base salary only and not sure how it would impact bonus numbers.
Say I made $X this year in bonus, next year I take mat leave and my bonus is slashed by 30% of X. Then for third year, is my bonus based off year 1 $X or year 2 ($X-30%) ? Second option would be terrible, basically a huge paycut that would keep persisting going forward and I would be looking for a new job if that happens. Finance is all about money, I am not ashamed to admit it, if my bonuses don’t keep increasing especially if my group is having a good year, it’s time to leave or just milk the firm for one more mat leave and then leave.
Really interested in hearing your about the bonus portion and how it will be impacted in years after the mat leave.
thanks
OP
We are salary+bonus=total comp. The phrase total comp is tossed around like you might talk about salary since there’s no difference 99% of the time, but to STD/mat leave there’s an enormous difference.
Our mat leave is 1 week full salary (not total comp) per year worked, then up to 12 weeks at 60% STD of salary (again, not total comp). Then, we can use vacation for additional time, of which we get only 10. We are not an entry-level firm, so most people at 30 years old have been here 1-4 years tops.
From what I’ve been told (not experience as I don’t have kids yet), bonuses are docked for time out of the office, but there’s no specific guidance on how much – totally up to manager’s discretion. So, you’re getting 60% STD on salary AND a reduced bonus. The “terrible” option you’ve described is the one I believe we have in place and the reason for my investigating/getting involved in the matter. I don’t think it’s a deliberate decision, I just think there are so few women in positions of influence here that it just hasn’t been thought about.
QuestionForOP
Thanks for the detailed response. The mat leave you have described is similar to what we have, haha I wonder if you work at my firm ! Anyways, this is so scary indeed, it means if I take a maternity leave, my reduced bonus would persist for several years forward. That’s an absolute career killer and I guess never a big issue because there are so few women at my level or higher in this field.
I can take 12 weeks off based on my #years worked, but it is obvious I shouldn’t really take more than 3-4 weeks absolutely required to physically recover and still offer to work from home/login/take phone calls etc. If you are indeed at my firm, let me tell you I would quit if I see lower bonus as the basis for next year when I have worked fulltime. A lower total comp is basically signal from management that I am not valued enough and need to move on. I know my skills are in high demand with our top competitors so it would be a loss to my firm.
anon
At a large, regional law firm: we get 12 weeks paid maternity leave, and our billable targets are reduced 25% for the year. We are ineligible for bonuses the year we take maternity leave, but our compensation is not bonus-heavy (7-15% depending on whether you meet/exceed your hours). I have not heard of anyone taking additional time, paid or unpaid, unless the extra time qualified for FOIA leave (such as medical complications during pregnancy). There is no option for a reduced or part time schedule when we return. We are also ineligible for vacation for 6 months, so we cannot stack vacation with maternity leave. But as many people said above, nobody really seems to track vacation, and I doubt anyone would notice if you took a day several months after you returned from maternity leave, as long as you were making your hours.
In my region, I would say this is generous, and pretty standard for firms with comparable size and reputations.
Diana Barry
Small (midsize?) law firm Northeast. I got 8 weeks of leave and took 4 weeks of vacation (my total time for the year) to make it 12 weeks. Not sure whether this was disability or something else.
This is pretty good for non-biglaw places – biglaw around here usually has 18 weeks paid and most people take 6 months total.
Sarabeth
Academic at a mid-sized private university. We get a semester off. How much time that is depends on when you deliver. Whether you give birth in August or in November, you still have to go back to work in January. Everyone tries to time their births accordingly. Untenured faculty can also stop the tenure clock for one year, which is crucial. I lost at least a year of research productivity.
Sarabeth
BTW – that’s fully paid. Some of it is through short-term disability, but I’m not sure how much (the check is the same each week, regardless).
Sarabeth
And I think it’s good for the US, although my European friends still inspire much jealousy.
lawsuited
I’m in Canada. No companies or firms that I know of offer maternity benefits, because the federal government provides basic benefits, namely 15 weeks maternity leave and 35 weeks parental leave with 55% of your weekly pay to a maximum of $500 a week. It works well where a mother earns less than $50,000 a year and is not the primary earner so can afford for that income to be reduced to $25,000 for a year, but I’m the primary earner in my family and we couldn’t manage if my regular salary was replaced by $500 a week, so I will have a very short maternity leave.
SuziStockbroker
Canada, finance. Theoretically, we get 50 weeks as lawsuited mentioned above.
My company only tops up the $500 provided by the government to 60% of income (trailing) for a few weeks (6 or 12, I can’t remember).
The issue for me wasn’t the $ as I wasn’t the primary earner at that point, but no woman in my industry is going to be away from her clients for a year. I took 16 weeks.
Tetra
Has anyone had to serve on a grand jury while working in Biglaw? I’ve asked HR and they’re not sure yet whether I’ll get to prorate hours… Any experiences/advice welcome!
Anon
I haven’t had a grand jury issue come up while I was in BigLaw, but I would recommend looking up the jury-leave laws in your state. That may give you some ammo to argue that your hours should be prorated (for example, not prorating hours could be seen as retaliation, etc.).
Wildkitten
There are a lot of different grand jury schedules – some are for 6 weeks, some 6 months, some 3 days a week, some 5 days a week, none more than 9-5 I think. Depending on which schedule you get it might not screw you up as badly as others, so definitely check which one you are in for. I don’t know how the hours work but with people I know who have done it they have always worked at least part of the time while serving.
lawsuited
You can serve on a grand jury?!? In Canada, lawyers are ineligible to serve on any jury.
Ear lobes
I’m 28 and have never had my ears pierced, but think I want to finally take the plunge. Should I just go to Claire’s? Or are there better options for people who don’t mind spending more money to make sure they’re done right?
KittyKat
Go to a tattoo parlour. Get a person with a needle to do it. More expensive but much better for your ears, will heal better and look better.
DisenchantedinDC
+1
mascot
+1. I’d feel better about the training and sterilization procedures at a reputable piercing/tattoo studio.
SH
Yep. I’ve gone to a tattoo parlor to re-open my ears, and they were great. Everything was very sterile and they knew what they were doing and that I didn’t want one of those gauge-holes in my ears. They also knew how to keep the holes clean and how to keep them open.
Anon
Find out where the top piercing & tattoo places are in your town and go to one of those. It will be more sterile, professional, and precise. Seriously – even if all you want is run-of-the-mill pierced ears, go to a trained piercer.
Anon
Alternative – find a doctor friend who’s up for piercing them with a needle (my dad did mine for me when I was 10).
Anonny
I did it at 29 and went to Claire’s… totally fine, just don’t make eye contact with the 7-year-old sitting next to you when you flinch and she doesn’t.
Moonstone
I did it on my 30th birthday at Claire’s and it was fine.
Meg March
Don’t go to Claires/a mall kiosk! I’ve had my ears pierced 3 times, once at Claire’s, once by a friend while on a trip to a third-world country (ahh, to be 17 again!), and once by a doctor. The Claire’s piercing was the only one that got infected, and there were other issues with it, like the hole being so crooked that it was hard to get earrings into it. Go to a doctor, or a reputable tattoo and piercing shop. It’ll be cleaner and the person doing it will know what he/she is doing, so your holes won’t be crooked or uneven.
latina
No advice mine were pierced when I was a baby but yay! I love earrings. GL
Anon
Having worked at a company very similar to Claire’s in high school, I don’t think I would take my kids there (or go there myself). I was piercing people’s ears at 16 at probably should not have been.
Lyssa
I worked at Claire’s for a time, too. The ear piercing was always fine (and I had mine done there, too, back when those upper ear cartilage piercings were all the rage). But looking back, it does seem a little odd that 18 year old me was able to poke holes in people’s bodies with only a handout explaining the process and maybe watching the other girl do it once or twice.
But, like I said, it was always fine, so I’d probably do it again. Ironically, I did have a screwed up ear piercing when I was a kid (the gun got stuck, and the piercing was way too low and eventually tore through – as in, I still have a tiny slit in my ear lobe from it), but that piercing was done by an actual physician.
SSJD
I vote for Claire’s. Just took my two young daughters to the one in our mall, and it was a very positive experience. It was only 10 days ago, so hard to weigh in on infection rates, etc. (what individual has enough data to really weigh in on this anyway?).
Before we went I had read articles about how tattoo/piercing parlors are cleaner, more sophisticated, regulated. I was somewhat swayed but also felt like it would be a scary environment for my daughters. I asked around and all my mom friends recommended Claire’s. The truth is, it was great. I don’t think any more regulation is needed if there isn’t a health problem, and it seems there is not.
It seems clear that they are doing something right at Claire’s as everyone goes there. Sometimes the market provides all the regulation we need. Good luck!
Lobbyist
I got mine pierced in my 40s at Claires at the mall. Got cubic zircona earrings that all my book club thought were diamonds. Was totally happy with it — its easy and quick and not a big deal.
SSJD
One more piece of advice: call the local store and ask when they will have two employees available. Go during those hours so that they can pierce both ears at once. This is much better than getting one pierced and then having to sit through the second. Take all the pain at once and then move on!
Also, keep in mind that you cannot take the piercing earrings out for 6 weeks, and after that you need to keep earrings constantly in your ears for 6 months. So depending on what ‘s going on in your life, it’s good to know this requirement in advance (say you are required to have medical tests or participate in a sport where no jewelry can be worn). Just thought I’d mention it :)
padi
Don’t go to the mall! I had my pierced at the mall when I was a kid and the holes were lopsided! I had them repierced at Aveda by someone who knew what they were doing. My ear lobes are not the same and the aveda stylist had to do some expert level hole placement.
I would go to a piercing parlor if I were to ever pierce anything again.
Worth It?
The majority of you (or at least a sizable amount) appear to be working in very high paying but high stress/long hour jobs/fields. At the end of the day do you guys think it is worth it (socially, mentally, etc.)? And why? I’m curious to hear either opinion and even somewhere in between!
Anon
So I don’t know if I fall into the top classifications of very high paying/high stress, but I’ve found a balance that works for me. I’m probably in the office 45-50 hours a week (a bit more when super busy but that is rare), maybe work from home 5 hours per month on average, and earn close to 200K including bonuses/stock grants. The work can be stressful when I’m in the office, but it’s rare that I need to think about it when I’m not in the office, so it definitely works for me.
Pretty Primadonna
Where do you work, what do you do, and how do I sign up?!
Anon
Big city (but not NYC, SF, LA, DC), in-house attorney at a Fortune1000.
AN
Mine is almost exactly the same, except my pay is a bit more and hours a bit less.
worth it
I’m in biglaw and I work A LOT. Like most weekends plus I consider getting home at 9:30 PM pretty fabulous during the week. Do I think it’s worth it…..
I can’t really see myself doing anything else, honestly. I’m childfree by choice but happily married and I find my job to be stimulating and fulfilling. I also get a lot out of the financial security which is a constant concern for me due to my family history.
There are downsides like cancelled plans and I have a less healthy lifestyle than I used to which I am working on. If there is one thing I wish I could change it’s that people be a little nicer.
I could never do this if I had children, but there are women in my office that have.
tl;dr yes worth it, but you make sacrifices.
Ems
I find it worth it for now similar to Worth It.
I’m also biglaw, but I find getting home at 9:30 pretty annoying (perhaps I joined during a good period so while I have 1-2 late nights, I’ve also been able to have a pretty good schedule and worked 6 weekends in the last year.
I love the people I work with, clients and partners and juniors (maybe not my current admin who gets hostile when asked to do anything), and the experience I get in return is worth the effort/time.
I can also see how in a few years my priorities may shift but am hoping I’ll be established enough to still have it work for me.
It depends
I LOVED being in the thick of things in my 20’s and I worked like crazy and thrived. By my 30’s I still worked like crazy, although I resented the sacrifices more. But still couldn’t see myself anyplace else. I l loved working around driven, smart people who were passionate about what they do. And I was working crazy hours for very poor pay, with the potential of good jobs down the road. Not in law obviously….
However, now in my 40’s, I see many of my peers branching out and sacrificing a little less. I am also less likely to sacrifice quality of life, and think I have a better balanced view about what is important in the big picture. Some of that was a revelation after terrible illness and deaths in my immediate family. You realize life can change in an instant, and isn’t fair….
My friends who are true geniuses or master “politicians” are still in the thick of things, but are so brilliant and attract such talent around them to work for/with them, that they are still able to thrive without feeling quite as stressed as the rest of us.
For me, the most important things in choosing a career are being around smart, talented, passionate people… doing something that makes an impact and is of benefit…. and doing something intellectually interesting. Only recently did I realize that I was lucky to have discovered that career path early in life. Wouldn’t change a thing.
ss
Most folks I know who’ve sustained long careers in high-pressure jobs reckon the pay-off for stress and anxiety is the sense of achievement, the occasional high of a big win, the prestige and ego boost of being a ‘big hitter’ or ‘making a difference’. Many have enough of a vocation for what they do that they can have fun taking on big challenges, at least sometimes.
Money is seldom the primary driver for the really manically over-achieving, at least in my experience.
CountC
It was not worth it for me. I worked in Regional BigLaw right out of law school for $110k in a low COL market. It is very good money for the area. However, I was miserable. I was never able to ride my horse, I constantly had to cancel plans with friends and as a result ended up with only law firm “friends,” I had panic attacks, I was gaining weight from eating poorly due to stress, I was sick a lot due to stress, I didn’t love the work I was doing, and I realized that the ambition I had in law school did not translate to real life.
I now work in a JD preferred role, for about $25k less than I was earning when I left the law firm (they cut salaries for associates on a firm-wide video conference call) with a great schedule (7:00 a.m .- 4:00 p.m.). I am so much happier. There is a lot of potential at my company for raises and promotions if I choose to pursue them. But if I don’t, that’s fine too. I see my friends, I have time to ride, run, and volunteer.
curious
what field you went into for JD-preferred?
CJ
Also very curious about your JD preferred job! Now that I’m full entrenched in litigation job I am getting curious about the alternative venues and love hearing from other people on an alternative track
Anonymous
Third time’s the charm, I hope… What type of work do you do that is JD-preferred, CountC?
Blonde Lawyer
I’ll plug one JD preferred role that I know someone doing. Federal probation, investigations side. Problem is, you don’t usually get to pick which side you are on, supervision or investigation. The investigation side though, at least in my district, basically acts as a law clerk for the judges on sentencing guidelines. Probation does a pre-sentence investigation and rights the pre-sentence report. It pays well and has normal hours (investigations at least) but does have a fair amount of travel for trainings, including full federal law enforcement academy in the first year. The other trainings are reportedly quite fun and usually end in nightly pub crawls. It isn’t even a “JD preferred” role. Bachelor minimum but higher degree preferred and many of the people in the positions are JD’s. Some Districts prefer people with prior LE experience though.
Blonde Lawyer
Ugh. *writes* Miss that edit function.
padi
I would say it is worth it for 5-7 years. The pay is good and I had enough energy to keep a small social life afloat.
After that, it becomes harder to advance and billing rates get too high to actually do anything on budget.
Out of it now
Totally agree with @padi re: being worth it for 5-7 years. Pay can’t be beat, and if you’re young enough and uncommitted enough (no kids) it’s fine. Yes, definitely intense. But wtf else would I have done in my 20s? (Sure, sure, travel, read, see plays, etc.) But I mostly would have spent it watching TV or something stupid. I worked a ton, I made a ton, and it gave me the freedom to do what I want now that I’m older with kids.
Yup
I’m 5 years in and getting out next year, with my loans paid off, decent chunk of savings, and a strong name on my resume that conveys that I am willing/able to work REALLY hard. Yes, I had to give up a lot of free time in my 20’s, but it’s worth it now to be in my early 30’s and in a good position to take a step down when I’m starting to think about a family/etc. I also think it’s better to start your career RUNNING and then slow down later.
worth it for a while
+1
I did my 5 years, paid off my student loans, established good financial habits and a nice cushion, and got out to pursue my passion. I worked my tail off, traveled a ton (consulting!), and learned a lot (working with so many smart, motivated people). It got old and I could not and would not want that lifestyle for longer than I did it.
What next?
What do you do now, “worth it for a while”? I’m trying to figure out what people pursue post-consulting but the answer always seems to be b school, and then when I ask MBA candidates what they want to do post-b school their answer is always consulting….
Soon to be ex-consultant
I’m at a Bain/McK/BCG in SF with an MBA, planning to leave 1.5 years in. The opportunities I’ve seen are functions in a start-up or corporate strategy at a bigger firm. Some places are more consultant-friendly than others. At least from what I can, SF tech scene = low to minimal salary impact, more equity, less travel, typically fewer hours, though that depends on the group / company.
biglaw
I have a question- I keep reading about “hours targets” etc in biglaw firms. I’m in biglaw and I don’t have an hours target. Is this for bonuses? Or are you expected to bill x or y each month? What do you do if there is no work? I have weeks where I bill 12 hours. But when my practice area gets busy I end up having these hellish months where I bill 300+ and billed like 2700 last year. Curious what these policies/targets are…
anon
Midlaw here, Biglaw previously. We have a billable minimum and then tiers above it for additional hours; all tied to bonuses. But, it’s all calculated annually to allow for ebbs and flows month to month. Although we do get tracking reports that show your targets broken down by week/month. So those can look skewed if you are having a slow month.
Anonymous
We have a minimum to remain in good standing and be promoted etc. (but they make exceptions for good associates who happen to have a lull one year). There’s another, slightly higher cutoff to be bonus-eligible. It’s all annual, no issue with having a slow month(s) so long as you make it up later.
anon
Kind of jumping off the piercing comment above. I have been thinking of getting tattoo. It would be very small/subtle (likely unconnected dots in the shape of a constellation). The tattoo would be very meaningful to me and I’ve thought of getting it for years, to denote an incredibly challenging and life-shaping experience I underwent.
I think we’ve discussed this before, but should I definitely not get it somewhere visible? I really like the idea of having it on the inside of my wrist. Other possibilities are on my ankle or upper back/shoulder (least visible).
I work in a conservative industry (banking) but in a more casual side of it (tech). several people at my office have visible tattoos. My boss actually has full sleeves, though they’re almost always covered.
My thinking with the wrist is that it could be covered with long sleeves during future interviews, more formal meetings, etc. Would this really be so bad?
Anon
With the caveat that I don’t have a tattoo and don’t want one, I think that IF you are okay with the fact that some people find them unprofessional and wouldn’t permit it to be visible in their workplace, and/or would think less of you and your professional judgment for getting one in a visible place like your wrist (vs hipbone or something else that be covered by any workplace attire), then go for it. Just make sure your eyes are open to the reality. Attitudes towards visible ink at work are definitely shifting, but not evenly and not everywhere, so you will have some doors closed to you.
The advice I gave to both of my younger brothers (who both have multiple tattoos) is not to get anything that wouldn’t be covered by a short sleeved shirt and shorts at a casual company event. One of them listened :)
Wildkitten
I think that would be fine.
banana
Could you get it drawn in henna first and see how much of a hassle it is? I don’t know about you but I tend to misestimate how annoying I’ll find something (cute, dangley earrings, I’m looking at you).
banana
I’ll add that a friend of mine has a visible tattoo on her inner forearm. Strangers will pick up her arm, uninvited, to get a a better look at it.
moss
I have a wrist tattoo that is easily covered with a watch/bracelets. I interviewed with it and had no problems. I say go for it. I love mine and I love when it catches my eye and it looks good with my watch. A small grouping of points in a constellation shape sounds lovely!
Anon
What is your tattoo?
moss
It’s a star, it’s about 2 inches across in pink and purple. It was a bit of a spur of the moment thing but as I am over 40 I know when to give into a spur of the moment impulse and when not to (I didn’t buy any Nordie’s cashmere today!) My son and one of my best friends got the same star in different colors on the same day so it has that sentimentality associated with it. I have 3 other tattoos so I was prepared for the experience, taking care of it, etc, and the artist had a wall full of trophies where he’d taken prizes for his coloring so I felt confident in his skill.
Anon
I have one tattoo, a medium sized one (slightly bigger than my hand) on my thigh. When I went to get it, the tattoo artist told me how pleased she was that I was getting something that was fairly bold and of decent size – she said that she cringes whenever someone says they want a “subtle” tattoo because tiny and delicate tattoos tend to fade and not really be discernible after a few years. That might be a plus for you, but just something to keep in mind. Also, I have heard that wrist tattoos are sometimes tough to heal given how much wrists flex and rub against things, especially if your job requires a lot of typing.
lawsuited
I’m in law and have worked in conservative and less-conservative offices, but no one in any of those offices has every had a visible tattoo. You say many people in your field have visible tattoos, so perhaps YMMV. I recently got my first (and I expect, my last) tattoo. I really wanted to get it on my wrist or ankle because then I would see it often, but I ultimately chose to get it on my hip because I knew I would never have to worry about it being seen at work (if someone is seeing my hip at work, I’ve got bigger problems!). I love, love, love my tattoo, and I think part of the reason I unreservedly love it is because I got it in a place where it will never cause me trouble or regret.
Anono
Does anyone have a recommendation for a large backpack-style handbag for commuting? As in, worn on my back but not my North Face or Jansport backpack? I don’t want to pay for Tumi, but maybe something like that. I’ve seen some by Mosey which look OK to me but maybe too small. I’d like to spend less than $100 and have something in more or less a solid black. Leather OK but probably too heavy, so maybe nylon / canvas is better.
buffybot
Everlane!
NbyNW
I have a Case Logic backpack from Ebags that is plain black, no trim, no bungees, no large labels. Does not look like an “outdoor” bag. Love it. Mine is the 17″ Laptop backpack and I think it looks professional enough for the office or travel. (I don’t use it to commute everyday but I did previously.) It’s pretty big. I also bought the Case Logic 15.6″ laptop backpack for my son which is smaller and similar. Both have held up for over two years and still look new and both are on sale now.
Jennifer
I think my comment is in moderation, but the Nordstrom men’s section has several that fit this description.
DisenchantedinDC
Not under $100, but I live and die by my GoRuck GR1. It needed desperately washed so I’m carrying my kate spade tote today (and traveling tonight) and it’s just meh. I’ve carried that backpack nearly every day since I got it, it looks brand new, and was totally worth the money.
Miz Swizz
I bought my husband a Tumi backpack on eBags during one of their sales and got a really reasonable price (close to $100 but not under, if I remember correctly). So…check eBags!
Nora
The real Nordstrom clearance deal is in cashmere sweaters. So many at such great prices!
Anonymous
Any recommendations for other business/fashion blogs?
Eyelashes
Any recommendations on false eyelashes? Want to practice but with a decent brand. Bonus if drugstore or Ulta available (don’t have Sephora in my town).
Ems
I really like the Ardells I picked up in the drugstore.
DisenchantedinDC
Check Sally’s Beauty Supply!
Wink
Ardell’s all the way (drugstores). I wear them every single day! You may need to experiment for your best style, but for me the 110 looks the most natural and the most perfect at the same time. Practice, practice, practice, use less glue than you think, and use a VERY magnifying mirror and good tweezers. The first couple of weeks it took several attempts per eye, but soon I could put them on in just seconds.
Anonymous
My firm’s women’s group seems to focus exclusively on child-related issues. I have tried to organize business development and others events that would apply to childfree women and have not gotten support from the chairs. I would like to stop attending these meetings and events or raise this issue without offending anyone-has anyone been through something like this?
Anonymous
we have a separate “moms” group and then a “women at firm” group. This has worked out really well! Childcare issues haven’t really entered the realm of the women’s group at all. The focus of events/webinars/articles is on time management, career advancement of women in the workplace, etc….While the leaders and speakers are 90% women, even men have spoken at and been included in events (because its not like men don’t have time management advice).
Are you trying to organizing events for JUST child-free women? If so, that could come off exclusionary or discriminatory. Or are you just organizing events that don’t focus on childcare/time management issues? If it’s the latter, than that’s weird that people wouldn’t be interested.
My advice would be to stay direct: “Not every woman at this firm is a mother or wants to be a mother, I think we should look at the goal of this group. If it’s to included all women at our firm, then we need to start focusing on issues that affect all women here, rather than just those with children”. It sounds aggressive, but if you really want to pursue this I don’t think you should be obtuse about it.
Anonymous
I am just trying to organize events for everybody, I don’t want to exclude anyone.
Anonymous
I wouldn’t raise it. I’d simply stop attending and say you’re busy if asked why. You’re not going to succeed in changing anything so no need to piss people off.
Anonymous
This is not directly related, but I have also noticed that childcare issues dominate the conversations with some of my female colleagues who have kids. I don’t mind discussing these issues but I get the frustration when everything seems to revolve around this.
I don’t think having events for just childfree women is a good idea. Try organizing something and invite everyone. If that doesn’t work, do what anonymous above suggests, stop attending.
Anonymous
I never organized events just for childfree women, they were just business related events for everyone.
Alzheimer's GPS Tracker
Has anyone had experience with using a GPS tracker for an Alzheimer’s or dementia patient?
There are lots of options out there, but I would appreciate any recommendations. Unfortunately, the patient has a few limitations – it cannot be wearable (watch/necklace/bracelet), as he is picky about what he wears. Something that could be attached to a key chain or put in a bag would be perfect.
Ideally, it would not need frequent charging (weekly would be the most frequent that would work). Also ideally, it would not require an ongoing service fee – I am looking for something that can be tracked through a phone or computer without having to involve a third party.
I have seen the iTraq, which would be a great option, but it looks like they are not selling it broadly and it’s not available for a month, at the earliest.
Anon
I have zero first hand experience with this or any other GPS tracker, but I read this news story the other day and the device sounds like it might be what you’re looking for. As you can probably tell from the title, the article contains some information re: an assault – if this is something you aren’t comfortable reading, reply back here and i’ll cut and paste just the parts about the GPS device.
http://www.wfaa.com/story/news/features/2015/08/20/mom-says-gps-device-saved-daughter-during-sex-assault/32084551/
Anonymous
There is some apple app that might work for this. I’m not an apple person, but I know a friend has some app on her phone where she and her husband can see where the other is. Which is a little stalkery for me, but would actually be useful for someone with dementia. I’m not sure what it’s called, though.
Care
One is called “Find My Friends” – My husband and I use it. It is a bit stalkery, but I really like it when I need to know if he’s home yet (to ask him to do something) or when he’s on a road trip and I don’t want to be constantly calling him for status updates.
Blonde Lawyer
Road ID has a free app that I use when biking/walking/running where I can send a link to someone that will show my location in real time. It will also send an alert if I am stationary more than 5 minutes. It requires the person being tracked to have a smart phone though.
Blonde Lawyer
Oh, this sounds awful to say but I have seen such devices marketed for pet owners and the device attaches to a collar so it would likely work attached to other things, like a wallet. Not sure what it is called though but you might want to google dog GPS tracker to get a start.
Anonymous
If you’re at the point of needing a GPS tracker for someone, you really want them to be wearing it and in such a way that they can’t remove it themselves. They’ll forget their bag or keys and it won’t help you.
mascot
Agreed- you probably need some low tech redundancy as well. I’d also consider medic alert/road-id products to attach to clothing. Safety temporary tattoos could help, but the patient may accidentally self-harm trying to remove them.