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Updated: Sep 15, 2020 205 Comments · by

Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Columbo Virgin Wool Jacket

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Escada Columbo Virgin Wool Jacket

Happy Monday! I like the not-quite-navy, not-quite-cobalt color of this jacket, which I think would be a great separate (the pants are sold out, alas).

I'd wear it with black, navy, gray, and even brighter colors like a yellow blouse or a purple sheath dress. Lovely.

It was $1475, but is now marked to $885 at the Nordstrom Clearance Sale (check out our recent workwear or shoe sale roundups). Escada Columbo Virgin Wool Jacket

Here's a similar affordable option, as well as a plus size option.

Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Psst: note that this prior Splurge pick is marked 40% off…

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. jamberry

    Love this entire outfit.

    Question + request for commiseration about friendships, parenting, and direct sales.

    I am pregnant with our first child. About half of my friends from college/grad school have already had children; all of them are stay-at-home moms. I think this is lovely; although I plan to go back to work after our baby is born, my husband is in the process of transitioning to a very part-time schedule so that he can mostly stay home. Until recently, several of my friends were openly disapproving of this plan; they told my that my baby would not bond properly with me unless I stayed home longer and they “just think it is so important for a child to have the full attention of his mother.” We politely disagreed and I would change the subject whenever it came up.

    Now two of these friends have started direct sales businesses. My social media sites are consumed by their online “parties” and requests to join their groups, like their pages, and order products from them. I have hidden their posts, but every time we talk I am asked why I haven’t joined their online “party” yet and how I would just love this product (I do not love the product.) And I get to hear all about how wonderful it is that they can “have their own business while still making their families their first priority! ”

    I am extremely annoyed by the sanctimoniousness – using our friendship to pressure me into buying something while being superior about being home when I will not be. These are some of my closest friends and up to now I’ve just ignored it/minimized contact – I hate direct sales so much and don’t trust myself to say anything appropriately diplomatic about it (afraid I will burst out with “get a REAL job!”). I can’t be the only one who hates it – and is there anything I can do to keep these friendships without exploding in annoyance?

    • yousaucyminx

      Can you just tell them you can’t afford it, or your budget doesn’t allow for extras? If the think you’re not a real customer, their sales pitch should dry up.

      And I agree, the Thirty-one, scents, and Longaberger baskets are eating my social feeds.

      • Senior Attorney

        I wouldn’t necessarily suggest saying you can’t afford it, lest the friends then start scrutinizing your spending. I prefer “Sorry, it’s not in the budget.” Nobody can argue with that.

        As for the whole “families first priority” thing, the best I’d be able to muster there is a tight smile and a “we’ll have to agree to disagree on that point.” Repeat ad nauseum as needed.

    • Paging Senior Attorney

      1. If the person is valuing your commerce above your friendship, probably not. [Bonus: you will always have the legitimate excuse that you are “busy,” even if that means that you are catching up on your TiVo queue.]

      2. You will soon make better friends with the other half of the world who is completely turned off by this (it’s probably more like 80% of the world). And you will also be busy with a baby and working, so it will recede from view.

      TL; DR: better, much better, things await you

      • Anon

        Most of my friends (more like: college acquaintances) had married and had children by the time I got married, so they completely wrote me off as Bridget Jones. I never even got invited, and a spouse and breeding didn’t change that once they happened.

        The good news is that the college friends who never went down that road (smug married breeder pyramid scheme) are true friends, even if our paths are sometimes the same and sometimes not.

        Re the parenting stuff: who on earth thinks it’s OK to talk like that? [Plus, the double-blind science girl in me wants to say: how can you possibly know that? How many of my babies and my husbands and my lives have you studdied on this point?] Where are their manners (or do manners not apply if you know everthing and just can’t help yourself b/c you must share with everyone)?! Their mama should have rearer them better (or their dad — equal opportunity) or she’s (he’s) spitting with fury over this now.

        • jamberry

          I will say – we have been very close friends and I think the comments about child bonding etc. were motivated by a genuine desire to be helpful. I agree in another context it would be a rude thing to say, but I wrote it off initially until the “you should stay home” comments were accompanied by “but please by my stuff” comments.

          • tesyaa

            I think, then, that you’re conflating this in your own mind that the two are related. It sounds like they’re not. Taking the approach others have suggested (that you don’t mix friendship and business, or that you just don’t have the time or money) is what I’d suggest too.

          • Spirograph

            On a complete sidenote, jamberry, your handle is the title of my toddler’s favorite board book.

            Anyway, I agree with tesyaa and some others below — these things aren’t necessarily related. Your friends disagree with your parenting choices. This was inevitable, and so what? You each do what you think is best, just be respectful of the other’s choices. If they can’t be respectful, that is its own issue. The direct sales stuff is annoying, but the line about it being so great that they can work AND be home with their kids is either a chipper soundbite to make them feel better about leaving their careers or the honest truth. It probably isn’t directed at you at all, though I understand why it stings a little when you hear it. Just continue to decline. Especially if you blanketly refuse everyone, eventually they will stop asking. Or at least my friends have… I hope you are so lucky.

          • Brunchaholic

            I think these issues are absolutely related! Your friends have been 100% unsupportive of your family and career decisions. Vocally. Now they are asking you (with your time and your money), to endorse their careers. It relates to their parenting choices since they are being so smug about how in line their priorities are.

            I can 100% see how it would be one thing to silently take the criticism, but it’s a total other thing to ask you to buy the shit they are selling (both literally and figuratively). No, thank you!

          • Brunchaholic

            I think these issues are absolutely related! Your friends have been 100% unsupportive of your family and career decisions. Vocally. Now they are asking you (with your time and your money), to endorse their careers. It relates to their parenting choices since they are being so smug about how in line their priorities are.

            I can 100% see how it would be one thing to silently take the criticism, but it’s a total other thing to ask you to buy what they’re selling (both literally and figuratively). No, thank you!

      • Toffee

        I point blank ignore any invitations like this, even personal messages and posts directed to me individually. It’s business,so they shouldn’t take it personally. As for SAHM comments, I let them roll off my back. I have too much going for me to let them get to me. I either reply with something short and sweet (this is what works for us) or ignore. It’s such a sensitive topic and I firmly believe both sides are at least a little insecure in their decision. Even though I know working is 100% the right call, I’ll always have that niggling little voice guilting me when I don’t make it to dinner or some event, so SAHM comments will hit a nerve if I’m not careful. And it’s just not worth getting worked up over.

    • Anonymous

      I refuse to have relationships with people who tell me I’m a bad person.

      Next time one of them makes a disapproving comment Id go with “are you srsly calling me a bad mom for working? What is wrong with you?”

      Either they’ll realize they’re being jerks and apologize or you won’t have to spend time with them anymore.

      And it’s fine to say “I’m not interested in the product and I don’t like mixing business and friends.”

      • TXLawyer

        I haven’t dealt with the mommy-shaming aspect of this, but I will say that I regularly tell my friends involved in these direct sales businesses “I’m not interested in the product and I don’t like mixing business and friends.” They don’t always stop asking/inviting after the first time I decline, but eventually they understand that I don’t have an interest in participating in that particular business venture.

        • TCFKAG

          Yeah, I basically have a blanket rule that I don’t do the direct sales thing anymore. (My sister-in-law sells kitchen products of some kind and my mother-in-law gets us stuff from it, but I never do or go to the events.)

        • Anon

          I say, “No thanks, I don’t need any Tupperware/Mary Kay/costume jewelry/tacky candles/etc” and leave it at that. People that throw those parties are pretty annoying – has anyone ever wanted to go to one?

    • greenie

      Sorry you’re going through this… there are so many conflicting opinions about how to raise a child. As long as they are loved and safe you’re good. Their judgemental comments alone would turn me off from the friendship, the direct sales pressure would send me over the top! You will find plenty of like-minded (or just open-minded) mom friends… I don’t think you need to keep these ones!

    • N.C. anon

      Is it possible to have a heart-to-heart with them? Not sure if you’re all local or scattered around the country, but find a way to get together or get in touch and just tell them how you feel about the way they’ve talked about your job and parenting plan? (Remember to use “I” statements: I value our friendship…, I feel hurt when…, I hope you’ll see that…, etc.)

      If not, perhaps it’s time to gracefully reduce your interactions with those friends. As much as those friendships might have meant to you in college, sometimes people grow apart despite best intentions.

      • jamberry

        all scattered.

        but these comments are also making me see that I can handle the friendships differently too – one of them is probably time to let cool a bit. The other would probably survive a heart-to-heart, and is worth the awkwardness because we are her children’s godparents and our families have been friends a long time. I’ll have to talk it out to someone else first to let bitterness and bite drain out.

        • Meg Murry

          Can I also add – their sancti-mommy-ness may also be coming from a feeling of inadequacy toward you are your career, especially if you were in college together and doubly so if you were the same major or heading down the same career path. Having taken a step back in my career for my family to be at a part time job that is in many ways a lower level than my friend’s jobs (think I’m now a secretary while they are all making law partner or starting their own medical practices or getting tenured positions as professors), I am very sensitive to the fact that I am not as “sucessful” as them – but I also really thought I was going to be one of them, and never considered the idea that I might want to be even partially a SAHM instead of a ladder climbing career woman.

          So be gentle with them on the “just go get a real job” aspect (write it out here, by all means, but don’t say it, of course) and focus on the “you are doing what is best for your family, and we am doing what is best for ours, and isn’t it great that we have those options to each play to our strengths”. But yes, tell them you have no intention to buy their direct sales products and would appreciate it if they didn’t push it anymore. And don’t forget that given the timelines I’m counting back in my head – I know a few people with kids in that age that will tell acquaintances that they “left to be a SAHM” when in reality they were actually downsized when the economy went south, and now can’t find a job that will pay enough to be worth the cost of putting their kids in daycare – so they may have internalized the “being a SAHM is best for the kids” as a way of self justifying their own lack of a career.

          Also, don’t shoot yourself in the foot ever saying something about how you will *never* be a SAHM. Because I used to say that, and believe it. Until one day when something clicked and flipped, and it was all I wanted – and I felt like an idiot having to admit that to all the people I told it was never going to happen .

          • Sarabeth

            Yeah, this. I think your friends are being super-obnoxious, but staying at home comes with its own set of insecurities. I’d bet money that some of these are bubbling through.

          • Carrie...

            +1

            I really agree with this, from what I have seen with some friends and family.

          • ml

            +1. One of my best friends is a SAHM only partly by choice. She is super positive about her direct sales and babysitting work that lets her stay home with her child, but she often responds to any comments I make about being jealous that she has the flexibility to do ___ with, “I’m jealous of your job! The grass is always greener.”

    • Wherefore and henceforth

      I had a similar issues (the “mommy wars” part) with some good friends after I first had kids. We generally agreed to disagree, but over time those relationships have largely faded (despite having been friends for many years). I think that just happens when people’s priorities shift apart.

      As for the direct sales issue, I’d probably say something like “I’d love to support you any way I can and I’m glad you are making this business work for your lifestyle, but I really don’t need any X right now [or I don’t have extra disposable income right now].”

      The bigger issue, though, is that you are mashing these two issues together. I see your point (and generally agree with all of it). But if you really want to try to make these friendships continue to work, you have two separate the two issues. Put the “mommy war” issue aside unless they raise it again. Because it really doesn’t have anything to do with the direct sales issue.

      • jamberry

        this is a good point; my annoyance is all mixed together but really there are separate issues that I can consider separately.

        • Anon

          In a way, though, it’s the same issue:

          Faulting your work/family priorities regarding YOUR work and family
          Faulting your work / family priorities regarding THEIR work which they do for THEIR family

          They are being pushy about wanting you to support them in their choices. They are vocal in not supporting you in your choices.

    • houda

      My way out of this is to tell them that I had few negative experiences with direct sales and since have adopted the rule of not mixing friendships with anything related to money.
      As for the parenting part, I have similar pressure regarding getting married and starting a family.
      I still haven’t found a non-confrontational way of telling them to shut up about my life and focus on their perfect one.

    • posey

      I have no advice but that sounds really hard and annoying to go through. Also, 95% of the time when people are judgmental about things that don’t affect them, it’s because they’re trying to rationalize their own decisions to themselves.

    • CHJ

      I think there are two different issues here: (1) cruel and judgmental statements about your parenting choices and (2) pushy direct sales campaigns. For me, (1) is the real deal breaker. Everyone arranges their parenting/child care life differently, and the one thing true friends have in common is that they respect your choices, which means not making backhanded, mean comments about how your baby won’t bond with you if you work. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with distancing yourself from people who behave this way now, and focusing your time and energy on other friends who either have lives more similar to your own, or support you even if their own lives are different. Your life will be so much better — especially as a working mom of a little baby — if your support system is truly a support system and not a drain on your emotional resources.

      For the direct sales nonsense, I would just say no and keep saying no. If your policy is NO, across all friends equally and openly, eventually people will get the message. And if someone says you are not a good friend because you aren’t buying their Scentsy thing? That’s a sign that they are not a good friend either.

      • JJ

        I was going to say what CHJ said in her first paragraph. It’s hard enough to be a working mom, without your so-called support system making your doubt your choices. I’m lucky enough that all my friends that have had babies are accepting of each other’s choices: work, SAHM, WFHM, whatever. This is just the tip of the iceberg and if friends are already making comments like that, then just wait until they discuss co-sleeping, cry it out, potty training, eating solid foods, discipline, etc. Now is the time to shore up real friends and cool the friendships of those people who will drain you.

    • Idea

      Why would you worry about keeping friendships with people who aren’t supportive of your choices? I don’t care if they choose a different path for themselves – we all do at different times in our life. But a good friend supports you and wants what’s best for you, not what she thinks is best for you.

      Be friendly, but these people are not your friends right now. They might be later – I don’t know. But feel free to find supportive women & mom friends – we’re here. We support each other.

    • The Best Defense

      On the how to parent issue, why not go on the offensive the next time one of them puts you on the defensive?

      Instead of changing the subject when they say “it is better to parent the way I do,” respond with something like, “I have refrained from telling you that I think the way you are raising your children is harmful because you are not giving them any positive professional female role models and are exposing them solely to a household governed by strict gender roles. I would appreciate it if you would also refrain from telling me that you think that way I am raising my child is harmful.”

      It seems pretty clear that they are not true friends (or won’t be for much longer), so why not go all out?

      • twowrongs

        I strongly disagree.

        I will admit that I have especially strong feelings on this because my mom stayed at home, and I know that my success as a professional lawyer is in large part due to the fact that she was a wonderful role model, “professional” or not, because she is a smart, hard-working, capable, kind and positive person, period.

        To be clear, I do think OP’s friends are way out of line. But there’s no reason to respond to nastiness with even more nastiness.

        • roses

          I disagree as well, and I’m even in the more-skeptical-of-SAHMs than most. First, the OP never said she felt that way. Second, a child can definitely have positive professional female role models even if their mother is a SAHM – other relatives, teachers, friends, neighbors, etc. Third, why would you assume the house would be governed by “strict” gender roles? Yeah, a SAHM is a more traditional role, but that doesn’t mean the mother wouldn’t have a say in the family’s finances, decision-making, discipline, and the rest. Yeeeeesh.

        • jamberry

          yeah, I wouldn’t do this. I would actually happily stay home if the circumstances were different/we came to a different decision about what was best for our family for those years. And I don’t want to be mean – these are friends, people I’ve known for 10+ years and LIKE. We’ve otherwise been supportive of each other, which is why these recent developments have been so unexpected and annoying to me. Ughhh whyyy do people do these direct sales things… drives me nuts. So exploitative.

      • Brunchaholic

        There are other criticisms to the “SAHM family model” if you will than the “no female professional role model” rationale. Personally I don’t know how I could be a SAHM, and it has nothing to do with being a positive role model for my hypothetical children. I have a hard time understanding how when 1 spouse makes 100% of the money in a relationship and the other spouse spends a disproportionate time with the kids it does not cause power balance problems both in money AND in child-rearing decisions. The “a child needs its mother” logic (and implicit “doesn’t needs its father as much” logic) is a band-aid to try to ignore this huge logistical issue with a wholesale division of the 2 most fundamental tasks in a family.

        This is a logical thought process no more offensive to point out than what they are doing to you! (That being said I’m not sure if I would have the balls to say that to my friends since usually criticism comes from a place of self-doubt and I don’t think I’d want to make them feel worse.)

    • Need to Improve

      You have to ask yourself if these friendships are really worth it to you. I find it extremely offensive that people would question your baby’s well-being just because you choose to work, and if one of my friends said that to me, I would have a hard time staying their friend. Sounds like you are drifting apart for other reasons as well. But if the friendship is worth it to you, you guys will have a lot of baby stuff to talk about that is a good common ground.

    • Meg Murry

      One other thing to note – Facebook will keep reminding you of these requests. You can join the group and then hide all the notifications from it. Same with her events – it will keep reminding you about the event until you RSVP no.

      Some people are just really obnoxious about inviting ALL their facebook friends to this kind of thing – just keep clicking NO on the RSVPs and eventually it will go away. And try to have conversations about other things for instance, don’t just say “how are you?” – that’s opening the door to talk about how great her direct sales business is doing and the new products. Say “how is little Susie doing? Two years old must be exciting!” etc etc etc

    • RR

      Here’s the thing about motherhood: people you’ve been friends with forever will go crazy and no longer be your friends. It seems to be a universal truth. On the flip side, you will become closer with other people and probably make new friends.

  2. Paging Senior Attorney

    What are you wearing with your AT jacket? I am wearing a scoopneck white microfiber tee, since I can’t figure what else will work it it (in the shirt department; have a ton of solid sleeveless sheath dresses it will go with until the weather becomes completely freezing by the end of the week).

    Also, I do not see the featured jacket working with a dress. It seems to be too long and boxy.

  3. yousaucyminx

    This is gorgeous…i’m just annoyed at the plus size option. That’s not a criticism of Kat, but of the clothing market.

    Straight sizes get a gorgeous high end virgin wool coat. Plus sizes get Jones New York polyester. Blegh

  4. (Former) Clueless Summer

    So in the spirit of the Sephora sale still ongoing today, what’s the best new beauty/skin product you’ve bought/tried recently?

    For me, definitely the Becca liquid illuminator/highlighter. I think it’s actually called the skin perfector. I got it in the lightest colour, and it’s fantastic. Not glittery whatsoever and very subtle so it can be worn at work. I use it to highlight my cheekbones, cupid’s bow, centre of the nose, browbones, etc.

    Runner-up is the Buxom lipstick. Got a sample of a fuschia tone in my 500 point Buxom sample and I love it. I don’t like lipstick usually, but the formula is amazing and colour great for my pink-toned pale skin.

    • TO Lawyer

      I tried the Giorgio Armani colour corrector I think it’s called – I put it on under my eyes and then put concealer on top and my dark circles are erased. It’s like magic! Just concealer wasn’t doing anything for me so this is a huge help.

      • mbs

        Which color did you find worked best for undereye circles? The description says orange is for dark circles, but some of the reviews say they use pink and it works better. I suppose it may depend on your skin tone.

        • TO Lawyer

          I think mine is orange? It’s the number 1 in the colour corrector line (I think) but my dark circles are dark and blue-toned so I think the orange helps neutralize them?

    • houda

      Anastasia Beverly Hills Dip Brow pomade and the brush to use it. Never gotten that many compliments on my eyebrow.
      Sephora Pro brush number 55. I have taken this along as my only face brush when travelling: foundation, powder, blush, contour and highlight all done with it. Best purchase in the past weeks.

      • layered bob

        ooh this settles it – recently decided I needed to start doing something about my eyebrows and was thinking about this product… buying it.

      • Woods-comma-Elle

        Yes, this! I bought the Anastasia pomade last week and it’s totally changed my eyebrow life! I had tried Bobbi Brown and Benefit recently and one didn’t stay and the other was too sticky, but this stuff is perfect and it stays put all day even on my super oily skin.

        Definitely buy the brush, too. So worth it.

    • ANP

      I love Buxom lipstick! Your comment reminded me that I ran out of my last sample awhile ago and should go buy more…

      My awesome new product is of the drugstore variety: Garnier BB cream. Lightweight but just enough coverage, a bit glowy but not sweaty/shiny looking, and it contains SPF to boot. LOVE.

    • roses

      I don’t know if it is new, but it was new for me – the Bare Minerals Volumizing mascara. I have dark but relatively short and sparse lashes; it is the first I’ve used that noticeably lengthens and adds volume to my lashes without being clumpy or smudgy.

      Also, not a specific brand, but I’ve recently been using white eyeliner on my lower waterline and the inner corner of my eye, and it does wonders for making my eyes look fuller and more awake.

    • Kensington

      Bentonite clay! I mix it with apple cider vinegar and use it as a mask. I love it. My skin looks great and it’s inexpensive.

      The mask is also great for detangling my hair.

      • Cocoa

        I just used this last week, but didn’t notice a difference. Maybe I’m doing it wrong? I mixed the clay with the ACV and “painted” it on my face, let it dry and then washed it off in the show. Skin look and feels the same (and still breaks out).

    • lucy stone

      I am obsessed with Alterna Caviar Dry Shampoo. I put it on at night if I’m trying to get second day hair and it sops up all the oils and grease and gives me some extra lift at the roots.

  5. Red Beagle

    Question about eye makeup – what brands of mascara and liner do you use for contact lenses/sensitive eyes that don’t irritate your eyes? This is a problem for me. Thanks!

    • Anonymous

      No liner. Clinique mascara. Any of the varieties that wash off in hot water.

    • ANP

      I’m a long time contact lens wearer and I’ve used Clinique mascara (which I’ve found to be especially gentle) and Maybelline Great Lash with no issues. Drugstore liner. I do put my contacts in first and don’t have problems, typically, with eye makeup.

    • anon

      Almay. It’s the only thing that works for me. I don’t wear contacts but have extremely sensitive eyes.

    • layered bob

      also Clinique eyeliner and mascara. Also had good luck with bare minerals shadow.

    • wintergreen126

      I don’t wear eye makeup that often, but when I do, I use Lancome Definicils mascara and Lancome Kohl Crayon (Crayon Kohl? I never remember) pencil eyeliner. I’ve never had a problem with them while wearing contacts. I stay away from liquid liners and waterproof mascaras; they tend to cause me problems.

    • Moonstone

      Piggybacking on this to ask: I’d like to learn to make my eyes look bigger and brighter, but any eyeliner touching the eye (the waterline?) is hugely irritating to me. My eyes are very dry and I’m on the verge of having to give up contacts, despite using drops daily. Any makeup technique suggestions for emphasizing the eyes under these circumstances?

        • Diana Barry

          No, tightlining is more irritating.

          I just embraced the dry eye and go with glasses all the time now. :) I find that a cat-eye only on the top does make the eye look bigger.

      • Anonymous

        I think eyeliner looks tacky anyway, especially tight lineing. Instead I use an eyelash curler, mascara, and a good concealer.

      • Rogue Banker

        I don’t use eyeliner often, not because my eyes don’t like it but because I can never ever EVER get both eyes to look right at the same time. :P
        I use a lot of color tricks in my eyeshadow to make up for it. Find a color that contrasts to your eyes (so for my blueish-greyish color, i use a lot of bronze/copper, brown eyes look really good with blue or dark green shades, and purple works well on just about everyone) to make the color of your eyes pop. I like using a liner brush to put a dark shade of the color on the top lashline – much softer and more forgiving than liner. Also, a real light touch of a highlight in the inner corner of your eyes does wonders.

        • Moonstone

          Thanks to all for the suggestions. I hate makeup but acknowledge that it improves how I look. This must be how other people feel about following fashion.

      • Anon

        White eyeshadow on your inner corner and under the brow, illuminating concealer on your cheekbone . Wayne Goss has a video tutorial on the NYMag site if you search for it – How Not to Look Tired.

    • lucy stone

      Clinique for eyeliner and mascara exclusively. The Lash Power mascara doesn’t smear or get goopy when Iput in rewetting drops but washes off easily with warm water. I use almost all Clinique shadows and have had great luck with their chubby sticks and creamy eyeshadows. I’ve used Almay and Bare Minerals for eyeshadows in the past with no issues as well.

    • Anonymous

      YSL False Lash Mascara is the BEST mascara on the market. Phenomenal results! (I wear daily contacts and don’t have any sensitivity issues with it.)

      • Red Beagle

        Thanks Everyone! I’m hearing Almay and Clinique (and non-waterproof) as well as avoid liquid eyeliner. The waterproof and liquid eyeliner no-nos I learned the hard way… and I do like Almay, especially their line designed to bring out the colors of your eyes. I use their “green eyes” line to make my eyes look brighter, and it does work. Love the primer. I will toss the liquid liner and stick with pencil and creamy primers and colors that stay put but wash off easily.

  6. So appealing!

    I’m considering a chemical peel for a few acne scars on my cheek and to improve the overall condition of my skin. Has anyone tried chemical peels or other treatments for the face? How were your results?

    • TCFKAG

      I’ve never done it because of my very sensitive skin issues, but make sure you don’t do it within a week or so of anything super important because I think some people’s skins can have strong reactions to it and become inflamed for a bit afterwards (not permanently but you can look kind of raw or red or like you have a rash for awhile.)

      • Samantha Jones

        I second this. Make sure your best friend’s book launch party isn’t that night!

    • Basics

      Did one once. Never again. Relatively (but not super) sensitive, fair skin. Turned red all over. Lasted weeks. I am lucky that it did not scar.

      My advice #1: don’t do it.
      My advice #2: if you are going to do it, do it with a dermatologist who went to a real medical school and will advise you in advance about whether and which kind and what the effects will be and how long they will last.

      • So appealing!

        Thanks for the input TCFKAG and Basics. So, Basics, did you find an alternative to peels after your bad experience? As I mentioned, I have two acne scars that bug me and my skin is getting more “textured” for lack of a better term. Any suggestions? Thanks!

        • Carrie...

          Good questions..

          I have your skin, and it saddens me that my scars that are only worsening with age. I use Retin-A, and I like to tell myself it helps some, but not that much I’m afraid. It sounds like your scars are likely more mild than mine, so I would give Retin-A a try first.

          I have very sensitive skin, and have also debated peels but have been scared about the possible outcomes and can’t find a week…. weeks…. where I could hide pending the outcome.

          • So appealing!

            Thanks Carrie – I’ll look into Retin-A. My scars are mild and recent so perhaps there’s hope!

        • Basics

          The best thing I ever did for my skin was talk to my dermatologist. I never did another peel, but: (1) that doesn’t mean there isn’t one out there that is right for you, and (2) she helped me with plenty of other things instead that are better for me and that help with texture, acne, glow etc.

    • EG

      Have you tried regularly using an at-home peel/scrub? I’ve used Kate Somerville’s Hollywood scrub (that isn’t the exact name) and I’m currently using Algenist’s 10% glycolic peel. You could also try a retinol serum, like Dr. Dennis Gross.

      Have you ever had a facial? If you are nervous, I agree with the above that you should consult a dermatologist first.

      • So appealing!

        A good facial would probably help. I’ve had some horrible facials where some cream was slathered on my face, a few pimples were popped and absolutely no exfoliation occured. I mean, shouldn’t some sort of scrubbing occur? :/ Maybe I just had the wrong aesthetician.

        I’ll look into Kate Somerville, Algenist and Dr. Dennis Gross products you mentioned. Thanks EG!

    • houda

      Did it 4 times. Each time my skin started literally peeling (very gnarly looking) within few days.
      I would not do it again. Instead, I have opted for daily chemical peel with any toner that has the word: “softening”. I love the Clarins toner, but also use the Missha Enzyme softener (Korean Brand).
      Once every blue moon I use Missha oxygen peel.
      I find that using lower levels of glycolic acid (never exceed 15%) in my night cream also helps.
      Some of my favorite night creams are Dermaceutic Turnover cream, Codexial Neoliss but you should find other creams along the same line.

      • So appealing!

        Thanks for all the specific products!! I would’ve never known about Missha. I’ll check it out. And I hadn’t considered night cream. I’ll have to add that to my “beauty repertoire!”

    • AnonLawMom

      Have you tried microdermabrasion yet? I’d start there before going to a chemical peel. I did “photodynamic therapy” on my face many moons ago after several weeks on steroids for an unrelated medical condition gave me what seemed like permanent acne. It was amazing, though recovery was sort of brutal. It is levulan + laser.

      • So appealing!

        I was just researching microdermabrasion. I’ll check out photodynamic therapy too. Thanks AnonLawMom.

    • Anonymous

      I got a SkinMedica Vitalize peel done two weeks ago and the results are PHENOMENAL. Yes, my skin was pink and peeling for a week but it was SO WORTH IT.

    • christineispink

      I’ve done Fraxel (2-3 rounds of 6-8 weeks each) and IPL. Both after (two different) traumatizing years of hormonal/stress/adult acne just ravaged my skin and left me both with scars and blemishes/dark spots. I thought it was great and saw results really quickly. That being said, mine were with my PCP when he branched out into cosmetic procedures and I trusted him. It can be pricey but for me it was totally worth it to feel “me” again. I’ve posted about my Fraxel experiences on here a few years ago.

  7. Erin @ Her Heartland Soul

    Recommendations for cute desk decorations, work notebooks, and desk calendars? I’m starting a new job that I’m really excited about December 1st and I want to freshen up my workspace.

    • A Nonny Moose

      See Jane Work has super cute stuff. You can buy at Office Depot and I’m sure other places as well.

    • lawsuited

      You’re probably best off using the supplies they provide rather than “cute” notebooks. I’d wait until you start before buying any desk decorations or calendars, so that you can feel out the level of decoration that’s customary in your new workplace.

      • Meg Murry

        Yes, this, especially if its in a male dominated industry – you don’t want everyone’s first impression of you to be all about cute office supplies, especially if they are girly when everyone else just uses plain steno or legal pads and whatever black pencil cup came from the supply cabinet. You also may be given a budget to order a certain amount of things from the Staples catalog or wherever – so don’t spend your own money on things the company will provide for free.

        But yay on new job! Maybe instead get a fresh haircut and new blouse for your first day?

        • Erin @ Her Heartland Soul

          I’m entering a marketing agency where the office is very bright and colorful. (And jeans are acceptable in the workplace.) Everyone seemed to personalize their space, which is why I was hoping to do the same.

          You reminded me I need to schedule a hair appointment though! Thank you so much.

        • anon

          +1

          Especially for notebooks and things you might take in front of clients or more senior people. I’m in law so maybe that skews my perspective, but you really don’t want to have an Elle Woods, first-day-of 1L moment. I second the recommendation to treat yourself to a new blouse or accessory to make yourself feel fresh and polished, then feel out the office.

        • Rogue Banker

          Definitely wait to see what everyone else does (and what kind of office-supply-and-doodad stipend you get). Congratulations on the new job!!!

          I can’t help but remember one former coworker who, on her first day, brought her full collection of bright pink rhinestoned EVERYTHING for her desk. Her file holders, pen container, the pens themselves, the keyboard, the mouse, even her tape dispenser. All of it, covered in pink rhinestones. It was like Barbie’s Bedazzler exploded on her desk. :P

  8. Job Fit/Peer Interview

    I received a job offer that I intend to accept, but first am having lunch with some peer-level members of the group to make sure the role and company is a good fit for me. I want to understand types of project, workload, team dynamics, expectations etc. Would love any advice on important things to ask and the best way to ask!
    Thanks!

    • mascot

      Seeing as how you have the offer in hand, I think you can just ask directly. Presumably this is the whole point of this lunch, for you to get answers to all of those questions that you couldn’t ask in an interview.

    • Meg Murry

      You could just ask something like “What did no one tell you that you wish you had known in your first day or week?” for the basic tips (for instance – at my first day at my new job, everyone explained to me how to get through security to get into the building, but no one told me that there was an exit OUT of the employee parking lot that emptied you onto a different one way street and I got totally lost – that would have been nice to know). Or questions like: does our group tend to communicate via email, or by phone or face to face? Is it more of the type of group where you need to give the whole backstory and explanation of how/why we came to a decision, or is it more the kind of place where you send an email that says “We can do X, Y or Z, I recommend X” and only give more details later if its asked for?

      • Brunchaholic

        I think a huge misconception is that you’re safe once you have a job. As terrifying as it is, office politics have just begun! If you want to get a feel for whether you fit the culture, then I would do just that and try to get to know them. If you have some particular questions you want to ask them I would definitely ask (especially with regards to the role), but I would caution the machine gun approach. I’m personally remembering a lot of gossip about a recent hire who was known to just interrogate people throughout the internship/interview process and it came off really negatively. I don’t doubt it affects her reputation in the company at least a little bit.

        As far as logistical first day issues, if there isn’t a recruiter whose specific job is to address these things with you, I just think this might be a good opportunity to become friendly with a few people and maybe exchange contact information so that you can follow up via e-mail for some of the dry details. I would hope that at least one person will emerge as a friendly face that offers up their guidance in your transition (at least, in a supportive office environment I would hope this would be the case).

    • West Coast

      I suggest asking about how the potential peers see the culture / development opportunities / performance management / project management style / meeting schedule / etc at this company compare to their previous companies. It gives you more perspective than just asking how is it at the current company.

      Depending on what is important to you, other things to consider asking could be:
      – knowledge management
      – open communication with leadership
      – feedback
      – how the team manages vacations / illness
      – how birthdays / events are celebrated

  9. Mommy

    I’d love to hear the hive’s thoughts on the NY Times articles re: our “mommy problem”, I’ll post the link after

      • tesyaa

        Literally right after reading this article yesterday, we had a need to take our son to the ER (he’s OK) and the first or second person who talked to us called me “Mommy”. My husband was standing right there and no one called him “Daddy”. The article makes important points, but I’ve learned to ignore being called Mom or Mommy by total strangers.

        • AIMS

          I think there is a tendency for labeling in our culture generally, maybe to make it easier to put people into easily definable categories. I don’t have kids but I would even get the “mom” label when taking my cat to the vet which I found so ridiculous because 1) I have a name and 2) it’s not my child. And men might not deal with it as much but my SO was also “dad” to our cat as far as the vet’s office was concerned, and I’ve watched him have a host of other dumb stereotypes to deal with. For instance, every time we go shopping for a mattress or a couch or whatever else, there’s always some salesperson who acts like he’s the dumb man who has to do what I say (“anything to make her happy and let you watch the game, eh? wink, wink, nudge nudge!”)

          But I am always surprised when women voluntarily do it to themselves. I get that kids are a huge life changer but I can’t help but find it odd when I read comments on blogs or websites commenting on wholly non-kid related things by posters who identify themselves as “TwinMom” or “Dance Mom” or “Dr. Mom”, especially when it’s a comment on, say, the government spying on emails. I try to never say never in life, but I can’t imagine that I’d ever want to subsume my own identity like that when I have kids. I also have a similar response to companies called “I’m a MRS” that offer name changing services… It just seems so beyond antiquated to me.

          • Anonymous

            I get the mom title at the vet too. And every vet I’ve been to gives my cat my last name. I love her, but she’s a cat – she doesn’t have a last name.

          • Annie

            The reason they give your cat a last name is to keep track of the 100 dogs named Bailey or Lucy that come in, and keep the files/charts organized. Just from the perspective of someone who worked at a vet’s office!

          • Anon

            Totally okay with my pets being my fur children. I like that my vet loves animals as much as I do and calls hubs and I kitty parents.

          • Catslastname

            Ha! I don’t have the same last name as DH or kids. We have had long discussions as to what the cat’s last name actually is.

          • tesyaa

            I think the use of “Mommy” in place of “Mom” was a cultural usage, and honestly I probably wouldn’t have even noticed the whole thing had I not just read Heather Havrilesky’s piece minutes before.

        • Idea

          I totally call men with kids “Dad”. I especially feel OK about doing this to indicate that I’m drawing a line, they’re the parent, I’m distant. I wonder if it’s because I’m formal, I like titles, or to possibly indicate Not Flirting, or because I’m overthinking it?

    • Ellen

      Yay! Splurge Monday’s! I love Splurge Monday’s and Nordstrum’s but this one is even beyond MY price range even with a 50% subsidy. I know NOT to ask the manageing partner for this one. But thank’s for showing the HIVE–there may be others with better partner’s that can pay the $ needed to buy this.

      Myrna and I are still full from our Italian meal. We bought a large PESTO pizza and 2 3 cheese Calzones and drank 2 liter’s of DIET COKE! YAY, but I am still feeling the Calzone in my tuchus! Myrna told dad about this and she warned me “a moment on the lips, forever on the hips”, and dad chimed in “a moment on the lips, forever on Ellen’s Tuchus”. And I think he may be right again. I have yet to feel the calzone is thru me, and I had to bring 2 pieces of the PESTO pizza back home, where dad discovered them in my refergerator. FOOEY on Myrna for telling him! He said that I could eat like that if I did the marathon and the tratholon like Myrna, but all I do is sit on my tuchus, and my FITBIT does NOT count b/c I onley walk back and forth every day. Dad put me on the scale and told me I need to loose 2 pounds. FOOEY!

      As for the OP, I also read this article in the NY Times over the weekend. I cant wait to be a MOMMY personaly and would NOT care if people thought differently of me, b/c I know it is a big learning experience, but I am up to the task, as I have mastered already being a lawyer, and am looking to do something new. But since Rosa has done it (3x) I know I can do it, and stay svelte afterward’s just like her. Of course I need a rich husband first to marry me, then impregnate me so for now I have to start to find the right guy. If the hive can help, I will consider all eligible batchelor’s. Please tell them about me so that I will not have to start in fresh with any guy, since he will know me through Corporete! YAY!

    • LilyStudent

      My mum gets very very annoyed when characters in TV series refer to each other as ‘Mum’ and ‘Dad’ instead of real names – like in Dennis the Menace.

      • Anonymous

        My Grandmother use to call my Grandfather Dad. I alwasy thought it was weird and oddly creepy.

        • ml

          My grandparents call each other Mom and Dad at least half the time. I think it’s generational, but I also find it kind of weird.

      • TCFKAG

        My sister-in-law calls my mother-in-law “mom” a fair amount of the time – only she’s not her mother (so its the woman married to my husband’s brother, if that makes sense.) I find that really weird.

        • AIMS

          I think that’s more family specific/regional. My uncle (married to my mom’s sister) called my grandmother/his MIL “mom” whereas my dad always called her by her given name. I don’t think my grandmother was closer to my uncle and I don’t think she cared one way or the other but for my uncle it was just how it was done and for my dad it would have probably been uncomfortable to call his MIL “mom”…

        • Miss Behaved

          My brother-in-law calls my mom “mom” and I think it’s really weird. He doesn’t call my dad “dad”. He calls my dad by his first name.

        • Rogue Banker

          I don’t know, my sister-in-law calls my mom either Donna or Mom, depending on the mood (and if there have been margaritas in the near past – my family is fun). I call my best friend’s mother Mom when we’re all together, and I’m Auntie Jessi to said best friend’s little girl. Addressing someone you’re that close with as family feels pretty natural for us.

          I think it might be regional – we are/were all in the Rocky Mountains. (Minor aside: I GET TO GO HOME FOR NEW YEARS!!! Couldn’t swing Christmas, but I’m going back to my parents’ house from roughly 12-30 to 1-3 and I could not be happier. First time I get to go home in a year and a half. Just had to let a little bit of that happy out. :D)

        • Meg March

          When my parents got engaged, my grandma sat my mom down and told her, “Now that you’re joining my family, you can call me Mother. Or Mother Kathy, if your mother would be offended by just ‘Mother.'” My mom was like “Uh, I think I’ll just continue to call you Kathy, thanks.”

    • Marie

      I was surprised that the author seemed to think that motherhood’s “elevat[ion] … to the realm of lifestyle, an all-encompassing identity with demands and expectations that eclipse everything else in a woman’s life” was something new. Wasn’t that kind of the point of the Feminine Mystique? It’s the idea that women are “lively, inspired women with our own ideas and emotions” (rather than extensions of husbands and children) that is relatively “new” to American culture. I don’t take issue with her basic conclusion that the conflicting notions of motherhood are unfair to moms, but I was disappointed with the ahistorical image she set up of some earlier “before” where moms didn’t feel the pressure to be perfect. It frames the pressure as something new that we younger women are to blame for somehow, when really it’s been there all along.

      • nutella

        I agree, but perhaps her point was that with modern technology, it is more in your face. Whereas before it was only the local moms you were ‘competing’ with (who could be of similar demographics as you), now you are ‘competing’ with every mom with a Pinterest account around the world for the most adorable first birthday party and all the other things moms are ‘supposed’ to be doing.

      • NYE

        No it really hasn’t. Women used to be housewives not stay at home moms. You were a wife first. This mommy nonsense is fairly recent.

  10. NYE

    Looking for a cheap last minute NYE destination. Something where I can hop on a flight in NYC after 5 on the 31st and be there in time for midnight. We’ve already done Montreal, Boston, DC, Atlanta, Savannah, and Charleston.

    Love the idea of somewhere Caribbean ish but I’ve never been and don’t know where to begin. Good food is a must, fancy isn’t, and we’re 2 single women so nothing super couples-ish.

    Total budget $1000 per person.

    Any ideas? Is this something a travel agent could do?

    • TCFKAG

      What’s your feeling on country music – Nashville might be fun on New Years. Otherwise possibly New Orleans.

      Also Puerto Rico I think is in your travel distance.

      • Maddie Ross

        Nashville has a shockingly good fireworks display, but if I had $2000 to spend on NYE away, I would definitely choose somewhere warmer and more fun. New Orleans is actually super fun on NYE, too. And the year I went it was really warm (like walk on Bourbon Street without a coat warm).

    • Anonymous

      Look on Kayak dot com slash explore — you can set your budget and your flight time (and check “nonstop only”) to find destinations. It’s really fun.

  11. Kensington

    Any thoughts on the Halogen cashmere sweaters? I need some basic sweaters for work and they are on sale.

    • CDA

      I’ve had good luck with them. They aren’t my best cashmere sweaters, but they are perfectly serviceable for basic sweaters for work. Buying on sale is the way to go; I wouldn’t pay full price (then again, I never do).

      In the event you are borderline regular/petite, in the past, I’ve found the petite ones to run a bit shorter in the torso than other Halogen items. Not sure about this year’s sweaters, though.

    • hoola hoopa

      At that price point, they are a good bet. They obviously aren’t going to compare with top of the line cashmere, but mine get a *lot* of use and generally hold up well. I’ve returned one for pilling unusually badly (which of course Nordstroms took back without issue), but I’ve bought others since because their overall track record is good.

      Agree to get on sale. They are usually on sale at towards the end of the season, if you can wait.

  12. Bri

    Any recommendations/thoughts for a slightly indulgent and nicer quality top for lounging around the house? I’m looking for something with long sleeves, and with a more luxurious feel if possible. I’m willing to spend between $50 and $150. Thanks for any recommendations!

  13. Dry hands

    Looking for a non-greasy hand cream to keep at my desk. Would love some recs! Thanks.

    • christineispink

      Aveeno Active Naturals Skin relief hand cream. Non-greasy. absorbs SO quickly, and somehow doesn’t feel like it gets totally stripped off when I wash my hands – like it’s actually moisturizing my skin instead of just laying on top until I wash them.

  14. Anon

    Name change question. I recently changed my name to make my maiden name my middle name and my new married name my last name. I wanted to keep my maiden name as part of my name for multiple reasons, one of which is that my parents are in the same field as me (law) and it can help with networking at times when people recognize the family name. They’re in a different town than I am but it’s generally a small community. I’m just starting my career so there’s no concern of confusing business associates with the new name. I have worked hard to create my own career path and no one at my work place even knows my parents. But, knowing how important networking is I don’t want to lose out on advantage. So the question is should I use my full name in my email and work docs and name tag for networking? Or should I just use my new last name and figure that if I know someone relevant knows my parents introduce myself as their daughter.

    • Cat

      Tons of attorneys in my office do this – use their full name spelled out in their email signature, on nametags, etc – not weird at all.

      • hoola hoopa

        I didn’t legally keep my maiden name at all, but I still put FirstName MaidenName LastName on my CV to ease networking.

    • anon

      I think this is something only you can decide– either way would be fine professionally.

      If it helps, in my case I would love to do this (I’m having a hard time and feeling like a bad feminist for taking my future husbands last name). However, I don’t objectively like my given last name. It’s constantly mispronounced, and the way it’s mispronounced totally botches it. I feel loyal to it and am sad to give it up, but I won’t be using it as my new middle name because my First Maiden Husband’sLast is particularly unattractive. I know that’s superficial, but maybe it can help you decide.

    • Anonymous

      I go by First Maiden Last on our website, email and official documents but introduce myself as First Last – basically I use my maiden name in situations in which I used to use my middle initial. It’s fine, lots of people do it at my firm. The most annoying thing has been how often our admins get it wrong. They regularly print up name tags for me with a hyphenated last name, which I hate.

    • Samantha

      I’ve seen a lot of people spell out the whole name (incl. middle name) in their email signatures.
      But in the email “name” and company directory it’s just first and last. That way people you have more contact with are aware of your middle name, but casual acquaintances do not.

    • Maddie Ross

      My email signature, my business cards, my signature block on pleadings and my name on name tags at conferences is always Maddie MaidenName Ross. My email itself is only maddie.ross though. And I usuallly will just introduce myself as Maddie Ross in court or to people. It’s never caused any confusion.

    • Kensington

      That’s fine. I used the same naming convention when I got married. I like to keep my maiden name spelled out so it’s easier for people who met me when I was single to find me on Linked In and whatnot.

    • Gus

      It was unprofessional of her to tell the judge that she couldn’t attend a court hearing because she was going to a conference — court appearances always trump. And it was unprofessional of her not to copy opposing counsel on that correspondence. So I can’t get too worked up about her (possibly faux) anger that the judge brought up the issue of her request to move the trial date because of doctor’s orders to restrict travel. Frankly, I’m with the judge on this one. You can’t use your pregnancy as an excuse to get the trial date you want but then expect that no one will call you on it when you take the position that the pregnancy doesn’t prevent you from going to a conference. At the very least, it was silly of her not to realize that her requests looked contradictory.

    • Bonnie

      I agree with the judge and the prosecutors on this one. She set the current trial date when she was already pregnant and should not be able to change the trial in a co-defendant matter after everyone else has been preparing for the trial. It also hurts her credibility that she is trying to get out of a hearing in order to go to a conference when she has previously told the court that her condition prevented travel.

  16. LilyB

    I’m getting my headshot taken next week for our firm’s website. Any suggestions/warnings about what to wear and how to do my makeup/hair? Is this a good type to use my free makeover at Sephora or will they go overboard (obviously I would tell them what it’s for and caution them to be conservative). I’m a little busty and concerned about looking frumpy in the picture also. Jacket or no jacket? Jewelry?

    TIA!

    • Rachelellen

      I had mine done a few months ago and wish I’d had a sephora freebie. I don’t think you’ll need it but it might help with confidence. Bring several outfits, one conservative jacket for sure, and one or two less “formal” things. The photographer should be able to advise you, or even. Shoot you several different ways.

  17. anon

    Ok, this is embarrassing hence the anon. I was curling my hair last week in the morning before going to work and I was undressed at the time. Basically I burned my bo*b with the iron. I have a 2-inch long, 1 inch wide mark (thankfully it’s toward the side and not in the middle). I’ve been putting large bandaids with antibiotic on it. I also use neosporin with a loose gauze when I’m at home. What can I do to ensure fast healing/minimal scarring? right now it’s not totally “dry,” that is, it’s still kind of raw. So I haven’t started using bio oil yet (but I did purchase it). I’m really scared to have a huge scar there forever :( The only other curling iron burn I have (ugh I know I need to be more careful!) is on my thigh and is much smaller, but it’s definitely visible and I’m worried this one will be the same only larger and more unfortunate because of its location.

    Thanks for any help/suggestions.

    • Meg Murry

      I am also a klutz who burns herself semi-regularly with curling irons or on the racks in the oven. Regarding treating the wound itself you are probably doing the right thing now. I don’t know that the antibiotic part is completely necessary – straight vaseline would probably work just as well. But for next time you burn yourself (because, like me, you will do it again), the best advice I’ve been given is to get the burned area under cold running water immediately, and then continue to put ice packs on it throughout the day – the best way to reduce scarring is to get the area cooled down as quickly as possible, and running water will do that.
      Also, once it has healed, be sure to use sunscreen in that area every single time you are out in the sun – scarred areas will sunburn faster, and that is part of why scars can look so bad for so long, because they get darker in the sun for the first few years.

    • anon

      I’m also a klutz but have never had a burn scar remain like on your thigh. Do you have access to Biafine? Otherwise, greek yogurt (probably best for when you are at home to deal with the mess) works like magic!

    • mascot

      I agree about strict application of sunscreen if the scar is anywhere that is exposed to sun based on advice I received from plastic surgeons. Eventually it will fade though. I have surgical scars on my chest that have really faded with time and I didn’t use any special treatment once they healed. Granted, there wasn’t any sun exposure on them to darken them.

  18. anon

    Getting my big law firm webs*te head shot taken later this week. Tips/warnings on what to wear and how to do my hair/makeup? Is this a good time to use my free makeover at sephora (obviously will ask them to be conservative)? Any particular colors/cuts to avoid? I’m 5’4 and fairly slim but also busty so I’m worried wearing a blazer/suit jacket will make me look frumpy. What about jewelry?

    • roses

      I don’t think it’s actually a good time to use your sephora makeover – save that for a special occasion. I’d do a regular makeup routine, looking as natural as possible. Good photographers typically photoshop out dark circles or weird shadows on your face, so you don’t need to worry about that.

      Definitely wear a suit jacket or blazer – it’s hard to look frumpy in a headshot.

      If you are on the paler side, make sure your top doesn’t wash out your skin tone. Personally I also avoid collared shirts, because there’s too big of a chance that the collar won’t lay correctly in the pic.

    • nutella

      Look at peers to see what others are wearing so you are similar. I agree with roses – your makeup should look how it usually does but more polished. I also didn’t wear (and never do wear) collared shirts and find they can be so annoying in a photo. I put on extra blush because I can look washed out. I also try to minimize the lipgloss so the my whole lips aren’t white from the flash. Do you know what your background will be? That can determine what you wear. If you have long dark hair, maybe go for a lighter suit (in gray or navy). Also, avoid patterns on your suit and blouse.

      • Brit

        Along the lines of more blush, also consider a darker shade of lipstick if you tend towards none or a lighter shade.

    • YouSaucyMinx

      Don’t use your makeover–what if you hate it? What if it doesn’t look like you?

      Instead, get a good blowout, so your hair is nice and sleek for the photo.

      I would do subtle makeup-maybe a touch more blush than you’d usually use.

      Definitely wear a jacket. And like Roses said, avoid a collared shirt. A nice solid silk shell would be perfect. Avoid prints, and just wear a color that enhances your skin. Royal blue and burgundy are nice choices for a wide range of skin tones, from very pale to very dark.

      I would avoid jewelry–maybe just a pair of stud earrings.

      • anon

        Grr. I just spent 5 minutes editing this post with actually useful comments…will summarize here:

        – Definitely a blazer.
        – Color somewhere – blazer or underneath.
        – No collar. No white shirt.
        – Hair: Do what it takes to control frizz and flyaways as these are hard to photoshop. Should look like you on a great hair day.
        – Make up – avoid mineral as this shines in photos and looks odd. Otherwise should look natural or like you on a good day. I like advice from nutella & Brit.
        – Also look for fun poses if they are OK for your purposes…tilted head or shot from a slightly different angle than the head-on. Or if you can get away with it, a power pose with your arms crossed.

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