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Updated: Sep 29, 2020 149 Comments · by

Weekend Open Thread (and, Nordstrom Clearance Roundup for Shoes, Coats, and Lingerie)

Sales· Weekend Open Thread | ·

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more nordstrom sale

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

The Nordstrom Clearance Sale continues, and there's still a ton left. We rounded up our top workwear and handbag picks on Wednesday, but I didn't really get to shoes or coats until today. Thus, here are some of my top picks for shoe brands (selection as well as quality and comfort) and coats, below… happy weekend, everyone!

Shoes: Anya Li, Aquatalia by Marvin K., Attilio Giusti Leombruni, Børn, Clarks, Cole Haan, Diane von Furstenberg, Dolce Vita, Enzo Angiolini, Franco Sarto, Frye, Halogen, Hunter, Isola, Ivanka Trump, Kate Spade New York,  Sam Edelman, Sole Society, Stuart Weitzman, Taryn Rose, Tory Burch, Vince

Lingerie: Chantelle, Cosabella, Fantasie, Hanky Panky (reader favorite), On Gossamer,  Shimera (reader favorite), Yummie Tummie, Wacoal

Coats: Burberry, Cinzia Rocca, Cole Haan, Gallery, Guess (not a brand I normally look at, but lots of cute ones with high ratings), Lauren Ralph Lauren, Mackage

Some of my favorite picks for individual shoes are below (in order of price):

nordstrom shoe sale 1
  1. OK, fine, totally not shoes, but I love the papers, coasters, and decorative plates with fun quotes from Ben's Garden — this one has the classic Kate Hepburn quote, “If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.” It's $8.40 (was $14).
  2.  Circus by Sam Edelman ‘Cruz' Slip-On, was $80 now $54 (limited sizes)
  3.  Circus by Sam Edelman ‘Hamilton' Bootie, was $99, now $70 (sizes 6-10, taupe, black, brown)
  4. Isolá ‘Tace' Pump, was $109 now $80 (sizes 6-11, red and black)
  5.  Sam Edelman ‘Zachary' Cutout Ankle Cuff Suede Pump, was $140 now $84 (sizes 5-12, navy, black, red)
  6.  Ivanka Trump ‘Nyle' Mixed Media Captoe Pump, was $135 now $90 (3 colors, sizes 6-11)
  7.  Cole Haan ‘Air Tali' Wedge Pump, was $178 now $120, sizes 5-11, 3 widths, tons of colors — this wedge has been around forever!
  8. COACH ‘Veranda' Pointy Toe Pump, was $198, now $133, sizes 5-11
nordstrom shoe picks2
  1.  French Sole ‘Passport' Flat, was $205 now $164 (sizes 5-11)
  2.  Franco Sarto ‘Obelisk' Knee High Wedge Boot, was $190, now $150 (so many tall boots! I liked the way this one looked the best, but there are a ton). This one comes in sizes 4-13, in black and brown.
  3.  Via Spiga ‘Cindee' Pointy Cap Toe Pump, was $250, now $150 (sizes 5-11, charcoal, black, and tan)
  4.  Loeffler Randall ‘Tali' Pump, was $350 now $210 (sizes 6-10)
  5.  kate spade new york ‘yvonne' loafer pump, was $350, now $210 (sizes 5-11, black and camel)
  6.  kate spade new york ‘kev-mid' wedge pump, was $350, now $210 (sizes 5-10)
  7.  Vince ‘Cosette' d'Orsay Pump, was $375 now $225 (sizes 5-11, black and beige) (tons of chic Vince pumps — great selection)
  8.  Stuart Weitzman ‘Diploma' Pointy Toe Pump, was $425 now $255 (sizes 5-11, cabernet & black)

And finally, here are a few of my favorite coats:

nordstrom coats sale
  1.  GUESS Wool Blend Asymmetrical Military Coat, was $300 now $199 (sizes S-XL) — this Asymmetrical Zip Wool Blend Coat with Faux Fur & Faux Leather Trim is also great (same price/sizes)
  2.  Tahari T Tahari Wool Blend Belted Wrap Coat, was $348 now $230 (Olivia Pope, anyone? Comes in burgundy and black, sizes XS-XL)
  3.  Cinzia Rocca DUE Stand Collar Long Coat, was $1055, now $794, sizes 2-16, white, beige, black
  4.  Missoni Long Chunky Knit Cashmere & Wool Coat, was $1970 now $1182 (sizes 4-10)

It's been a few days since the sale started, ladies — what have you gotten?

Sales of note for 10.10.24

  • Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
  • Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
  • Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
  • Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
  • White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. anon

    I like the boots and booties pictured but all the rest of the work shoes look like the heels are too high, for me at least.

    • Anon For This

      I was really into the shoes (unusual for this site), however the underwear is frump city, so not for s**y times, plus most of it is lace so it couldn’t even be worn under clothes, very confused as to the purpose of the undergarments linked.

  2. Anonymous

    Is it ok to wear opaque black tights with a skirt suit for formal, non-court situations (think client meetings, depositions, etc)? I’m going to be traveling to a cold weather place in December for a week for work and need to wear a suit every day while I’m there. I live in a warm weather place and only own skirt suits and one very light, summery (in both color and fabric) pantsuit. I’d like to avoid having to buy two or more new pantsuits if possible but I also don’t want to freeze/look like an idiot.

    • KittyKat

      Opaque tights are 100% okay. Those who tell you otherwise are either very conservative or have no regard for comfort and expect you to be unseasonably dressed. Both hopefully aren’t the people you associate with.

    • TO Lawyer

      Yes absolutely. As someone who works and lives in a cold climate, it’s necessary (plus a skirt and tights is often warmer than dress pants). I think it’s totally normal in cold areas.

      • MNF

        Related Question. Hope I don’t start another tights war.

        For those people who are all about the tights, do you find that they keep you warmer than hose? Obviously fleece lined or sweater tights are much warmer, but I don’t notice a difference between my opaque black tights and my nude/black hose. Or are people avoiding nude hose because it looks old lady?

        • TO Lawyer

          I think tights are significantly warmer than nude hose. Last year, I wore hose for a court hearing and then changed into tights after and really noticed a difference.

          FWIW, I also layer my tights when it gets really cold but that’s because it’s cold here.

        • Anon

          I wear either nude hose or opaque black tights every time I wear a skirt or dress to work, which is every M-Th (Fridays are casual). Nude hose in warmer weather and either opaque black tights or nude hose in cold weather. The tights are definitely warmer than the hose, no question. I commute by car, and I imagine that if my commute involved walking/transit I’d wear the opaque tights much more frequently than the hose in cold weather. And they are just regular opaque tights (not sweater or FLEECE TIGHTS).

        • Lyssa

          I’ve never found regular tights to be much warmer than hose (maybe a little, but not really enough to make a real difference). Never understood the argument that they’re warmer than pants – that’s not my experience at all (the cold air cuts right through them). But I’m a complete wuss about the cold. If it’s very cold, I usually wear hose under pants.

        • Anon in NYC

          I do notice a difference when I switch from hose to thicker tights. I also wear wool tights in the winter and they are much warmer than hose and regular tights.

        • NYtoCO

          I’m probably going to contribute to the tights war here–

          Perhaps I’m hopelessly unfashionable, but I can’t for the life of me understand why black tights are OK during the day but not black hose. To me, black hose look both more professional and more appropriate because they’re not as stark as black tights. I only wear black hose. Can someone explain the phenomenon?

          I already know that “black hose are only for funerals and evenings”- I guess I want to know why.

          • Gail the Goldfish

            I still haven’t figured out the line between tights and hose, quite frankly.

          • Kim

            There is no “why.” It is not a rule, it is not a guideline, it is not consistent with what is more stylish / fashionable. (If anything, nude hose, which simulate bare legs, look really unseasonable in winter months!)
            Wear your black hose. Someone was misinformed.

          • anon-oh-no

            Not mis-informed, just fashionable. Again, you may like the look of black hose and if you do, please feel free to wear them; no need to be a snarky snark. But this is a fashion-based blog, and if youre looking for what is fashionable, you wont find black hose outside of eveningwear and funerals.

          • anon

            +1 to Gail. I’m so lost.

            Kat, comprehensive guide?!?! Readers have burning questions. Do hose by any other name look just as sheer?

            I’ll show myself out.

        • Miranda Priestly

          Step away from the hose, darlings. Black tights are fine. This season patterned tights are better, but we can’t expect too much from the lawyers, now can we. That is all.

    • Anonymous

      Great, thanks! And yes, I agree about a skirt and tights being warmer than dress pants (that’s part of why I want to wear my skirt suits!) The cold air blowing up your pants leg against your bare skin is awful.

      • EK

        I would go one step further and say that sleek knee-high boots are also appropriate for formal meetings in super cold places.

  3. A

    A couple weeks ago I posted in here asking what to wear to a car dealership, and the thread blew up with all kinds of advice, so I thought I’d post a followup.

    As for the outfit, I ended up wearing boots, jeans, and a deep red cardigan. As for everything else, I wasn’t all that stressed going in – I knew which car I wanted, and how much I was willing to pay – but this whole process was much more stressful than I anticipated. Turns out, the dealership didn’t “allow” negotiation, and had an insulting video about why their “smart price” was best for the consumer. I got up to leave, and like magic, they were suddenly willing to shave down that price.

    My only regret is accepting such a low price for my trade-in. If my transmission wasn’t such a ticking time bomb I would’ve tried shopping it around to other dealerships, or seeing if someone wanted to buy it off me directly as a “hobby car” they could fix up.

    The whole process of buying the car was frustrating, and between getting the car diagnosed, dealing with the dealership, getting new insurance, getting ready to part with my old car, and finally going to physically pick up the car, in addition to everything else in my life (work, travel, etc.) was incredibly stressful. Now I’m adjusting to my new car, and liking it so far, but I’m finding this to be a major change in my life that’s more overwhelming than I thought it would be.

    • anon

      It’s a lot! I have to say that knowing what my car was worth for trade-in and negotiating that was also new to me when I bought my last car. I did a lot of research on both the car I was buying and the car I was trading in so I went in knowing what my car was worth and what I was willing to accept and what I wanted to pay for the new car. I had to really hold my ground and they ended up sort of jerking me around unnecessarily about the monthly payments, but it all worked out really well and I’m happy with my car.

    • Anon

      I feel you. We went to get my husband a new car two weeks ago and the sales guy boldfaced lied to us about a major aspect of the vehicle. I was focused on reading the contracts and assumed that my husband was paying attention to the car-things (since I don’t know much about them anyway – this wasn’t something I would have caught). Add in the fact we had been there for 4 1/2 hours and we got home before my husband realized the problem. Luckily they had fudged the mileage on the contract (seriously who does this?). I had to threaten to go all lawyer (something I LOATHE doing) but they fixed their mistake. Still, super stressful and a huge time suck. The most shocking part is that it was one of the most reputable dealerships in town.

      • A

        Yeesh, that’s definitely giving me more reason to take the car to an independent mechanic and get it looked at, just in case there’s any potential problems, especially ones that’ll conveniently become big issues once the 30 day warranty is over.

    • Ellen

      Yay! Open thread’s! I love weekend open thread’s and this Nordstrom shoe sale!!! Kat, you are my favorite for p’osting these–that way Dad won’t get mad if I say I was just following your advise! DOUBEL YAY!

      As for the OP, I personaly have NEVER bought a car, but I do NOT think weareing different clotheing would have made you a shreweder bargainer — different clothes some times DO serve to distract the car salesman, and he could well have given you a better deal if you wore 4″ pump’s and a low cut blouse without a bra, but I also think he could have thought you were not to smart and even low bid you farther then he did. I know in court I please the judge with fashioneable clotheing, but I am no expert on car salesmen, except that when I went with my dad to get his SUV a coupel of year’s ago, the guy’s in the lot were stareing at my boobie’s, which might have helped a bit b/c Dad got a great buy and I did NOT even talk to any of the salesmen! YAY Dad!

      But dont feel bad–you have a car and it is a good car, and you did NOT have to do anything sexueal with the salesmen, which I know Myrna told me they wanted her to do to get a discount. But she did NOT want to have to date any of them or even go out for a drink with them b/c they have this stuff they put in your drink that get’s you sleepy, and when you are just about knocked out, they pull your panties down and do stuff that you do NOT even remember the next day. FOOEY on that! It is kind of like that movie Walk of Shame, where the cute blond — who dad likes and think’s I look like — has sex with a guy then has to go clear across town to go for a job interview after he has sex with her in his apartement. FOOEY on that! I would NOT want to wake up in a guy’s apartement then have to skulk across town weareing the same clotheing he was pawing and rubbeing against the nite before. How awful! TRIPEL FOOEY!

      I am meeting Myrna tonite and we are eateing Italian takeout at her place. We figure that with all of the excercise we have been doeing, we can take a day off and pig out. We will have Saturday and Sunday to recoup and be ready to work on Monday. I have ABSOLUTELEY NO work to do this weekend b/c I am all caught up on my billeings, and am on track for 600 hour’s this month and a bonus! DOUBEL YAY!!!! Now if I could only find a guy to MARRY me, I would be abel to stop with all of this nonsense and let HIM do the work while I shop. FOOEY! Where are the rich men that want a smart girl like me? Is there another Jared Kushner out there for me? Cant the HIVE find a guy for me? You all have alot of professional contact’s–I am sure I would NOT let the HIVE down. Have a nice weekend, fellow Corporete’s, and find me a RICH prince that does NOT look like a FROG!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!

      • A

        Well I didn’t think my clothing would make me better at negotiating, but I’m 5’2″ and have the face of a 16 year-old, and it didn’t help that my dad was going with me for support and a second opinion. I wanted to wear something that would get me taken seriously as an intelligent, mature adult; someone with enough money that someone would want to do business with me, but not so rich that I was willing to throw money away like it was nothing. Basically, I was hoping there was an outfit that would get me respected and not taken advantage of.

        Naive. So naive. Some dealers will treat you like an idiot no matter how well dressed you are, and will try to take advantage of you no matter what you look like. It’s how you respond that matters.

        And I’m never going there again, by the way. In 4-6 years when it’s time for a new one, I’m either going to a different Honda place, or ditching Honda altogether and going with a Mazda.

        • SH

          There’s no shame in bringing your dad. My dad is a retired car dealer, and I also just bought a new car, and am otherwise an intelligent, mature, adult woman. This is how it went:

          Me: Dad, I need some advice, I need a new car.
          Dad: OK, let me call my guys and see what that should cost you.
          Dad (2 days later): Go to this dealership, talk to this guy, they have exactly the car you wanted, and your monthly payments are $. That’s within your budget that you gave me, right?
          Me: Yep! Thanks!

          2 days later I was in a new car with a check in the mail for my old car, for the same price they told me when I walked in the door. Granted, they still tried to sell me stuff that I didn’t need, definitely pulling the “I’ll just add this because it will make you safer, OK?” line, which I didn’t appreciate. But I knew exactly what I wanted, exactly what I wanted to pay for it, and wasn’t going to get anything else. I also had gone to CarMax previously to get my car appraised and ballparked the auction value, so it helped going in and telling them to match it or wait for me to get back rather than hoping that they’ll give me a good price.

  4. AIMS

    Any recommendations for a good gynecologist in Manhattan? Preferably one who doesn’t make you wait 2-3 months for an appointment. I am very lukewarm on my current doctor and would like to see someone who I can be happy with for the foreseeable future (I’m on a ‘no-more choosing random doctors from the insurance book’ kick). Thanks!

    • Meg March

      I really like Maria Benedetto-Anzai at NY Midtown. She’s a little bit brusque, but to be honest, I don’t really want to be small-talking someone who’s going to be all up inside me in 2 seconds. I’ve found her to be very responsive to my concerns in the past and she’s been happy to work with my insurance when something went wrong with billing.

    • Anon in NYC

      I like Lorraine Chrisomalis on the UES if you just want a gynecologist (she no longer delivers babies). I’m pregnant so am going to the Weill Cornell ob/gyn practice (at her referral) and like them. It’s pretty easy to get an appointment with her. I like her personally too – she’s very down to earth and matter-of-fact.

      The two caveats I’d say: she seems to run late all the time – whether it’s in the morning or afternoon. I often had to wait about 20-30 minutes no matter what time of day. Also, her office staff (although very nice) can be a bit disorganized. For example, they don’t accept credit cards so you have to pay your copay with cash or check. I’ve gotten calls saying that I didn’t pay my copay (fortunately, I had kept my receipts).

    • Anon

      I like Dr. Carrasco on the UES. He was recommended to me by a coworker and I’ve since recommended him many times.

    • Anon2 in NYC

      Two recs – Ruth tessler at nyu miller practice – both midtown east side and west side offices. And carmit archibald at UES Gynecology in the east 80s. Neither deliver babies anymore.

      I used to go to Beth Israel by union square and always wound up waiting forever in the waiting room. And then barely capturing the doctor’s attention during the appt.

    • Anonyc

      I love Meredith Halpern who is now at Cityscape OBGYN (32nd St.). She delivered all my kids, and I’ve seen her for non-pregnancy things (annuals, IUDs) and she’s very chill, which is great. The other doctors in that practice range from totally okay to brusque/verging on too businesslike, but Dr. Halpern is great. I never feel like I’m rushed with her and she definitely is great about explanations, contextualizing things, and being a real person, rather than a form-filling automaton.

    • AnonZee

      Dr Olivares at Westcare Medical on 57th and 7th. I also like Dr Laurie and Huang there. I delivered with them and really like them but hated the hospital (St Lukes Roosevelt)

      • AIMS

        Thanks all! Hopefully I can make an appointment with one of these before the end of the year. I’d prefer to find someone who will eventually be able to see me through having a kid so will be calling those first but at this point I’d be happy just to find someone who’s next available appointment isn’t in 2015.

  5. HSA Q

    I set aside the maximum amount in my work HSA this year and now that it’s November I haven’t really used it up (long story). I know there are all sorts of things I can buy like glasses and humidifiers, and I am going to go see my dentist next week so I am sure that will amount to something, but I don’t want to just go to doctors I don’t need or buy things I already have if I can at all help it. So I’m wondering if there is any way I can roll over the ‘use it or lose it’ money into something that I can keep for a few years without limitation. Does that exist? I am thinking of some kind of private HSA that doesn’t have to be used up within one year? I’m not sure that’s possible but I thought I’d ask. Any other ideas are welcome, too.

    Also, looking at the rules, it says I have till March of next year to submit my claims but does that mean I have till March to actually use my money? As in, can I submit a claim for a service in January 2015 or is that just a grace period to get claims in? The FAQ isn’t very clear. Thanks for any guidance.

    • Maddie Ross

      Is it an FSA or an HSA? An FSA is use or lose, but HSAs you can save and roll from year to year (and ultimately can be a type of retirement account, I believe).

      • HSA Q

        It’s an FSA. So I can’t roll it over. I guess what I am wondering if I can set up an HSA privately and then recoup the cost of that from the FSA money. That seems like it would be smart but my guess is that doesn’t exist?

        • Mpls

          You definitely can’t roll it into an HSA. Check your plan about being able to roll over a portion to next year. There were changes for 2014(?) that allowed FSA plans to let their participants roll over some, but only if the plan adopted the provision.

    • Mpls

      A Health Savings Account (HSA) is not use it or lose it money. It’s a bank account specifically for medical expenses and can only be contributed to if you also have a qualifying high deductible health plan.

      A Flexible Savings Account (FSA) lets you take money out pre tax to reimburse yourself for medical expenses. You may be limited to dental and vision expenses if you also have a high deductible health plan and contribute to an HSA. This is typically “use it or lose it” money. You will have a deadline for getting claims in, in order to be reimbursed – in your case it sounds like March. You may still have to have all your expenses incurred by the end of the plan/calendar year, though some plans also allow a grace period for incurring expenses (in addition to submitting claims). That is something you’ll have to check in your plan documents or with your plan admin as it varies from plan to plan. Also, new last year, plans were allowed to let participants roll over some FSA funds, but this was only an option if your plan adopted that provision.

      So, TL;dr – Your FAQ should differentiate between submitting claims and incurring expenses in terms of deadlines for your FSA (not HSA).

      Hope that helps.

    • mascot

      Agree to check with your plan about roll-over. For my company, it’s $500. But, that 2014 roll-over money gets used only once you’ve spent all of your 2015 money and is only good in 2015. So plan accordingly.

    • Anon

      I don’t think there’s a way to recoup that money. I recommend asking your PCP for a prescription for massages. You should then be able to buy a package of 5 or so massages at a salon for $X. That would eat into the money pretty quickly. This is kind of unethical, but I think you might even be able to buy massage certificates as gifts depending on how they ring it up.

      • Mountain Girl

        Beginning last year, if your company elected, you could carry over $500 from one year to the next. Check with HR to see if you actually have to spend ALL of your money before you go on a spending spree.

        I think you are going to need to supply a receipt for the date of service. If you prepay for a package of massage service you are technically not within the rules of the FSA as I understand them but you can research that yourself. I do get reimbursed for therapeutic massage under my FSA and there is some paperwork that the PCP has to do to preauthorize the service. It could be a rule of my FSA administrator so check to make sure before you schedule the appts.

        A second pair of glasses, sunglasses, extra contacts, orthotic inserts (even OTC inserts), seasonal prescriptions, blood pressure monitors…there are multiple ways to get creative if you have money to spend.

    • Miss Behaved

      Quick FYI… sunscreen is covered by Healthcare FSAs so you can alway stock up for next summer!

      • FinanceJenie

        Contact solution and first aid items (band-aids and antiseptics) are as well.

    • Anon

      I was in this sitch last year. Got an RX for my gym membership (anxiety and weight management!) and submitted receipts for the entire 2013. Also submitted receipts for therapy, contact lenses, glasses, prescription contact lenses, etc. wound up spending it all in the end.

  6. Different attitudes towards money

    I know we’ve discussed earning vastly different amounts than your spouse/partner, as well as how different people share (or don’t) their money. But can we talk about how you navigate a shared life when you have different ideas about how much things “should” cost and what constitutes spending a lot of money on [fill in item]?

    My SO and I were raised in similar, upper middle class income families. Private schools, universities, cars when you turn 16, etc. I’m only adding this to set the stage that we’ve more or less come from the same place. I work (attorney), he’s in grad school. It’s becoming more and more obvious that things that I consider to be normal (ex: a $250-300/night hotel room in a major city) are things he thinks are outrageously expensive. I’m pretty sure that if he knew I spent $500 on my handbag (which I use daily, and will until it is no longer presentable, b/c that’s how I roll) he would be at a loss for words. I don’t know how much of this is attributable to me earning significantly more than he does (b/c grad student stupend vs. actual salary) and how much is an ingrained approach to money and what things are “worth” or how much it is acceptable to spend on things, generally.

    For those of you who have experienced this (on either side) in your marriage or partnership, how have you handled it? I don’t think either of us is right, or wrong, so I’m trying to figure out how to reconcile our different takes without it resulting in stress or conflict.

    • Maddie Ross

      Have you considered that some of it is simply male versus female perception? I mean, most guys don’t think about handbags costing in the triple digits I don’t think (jewelry maybe, not handbags or shoes). And despite no longer being a college frat guy, my husband would be just fine in cheaper, lower brand hotels still as he just consiers it a place to crash. I think the bigger question is navigating the more daily expenses – your mortgage, car payments (or lack thereof), savings rates, food expenses, etc. If you are on the same page on those, I think it’s easier to navigate. My husband will never understand what I pay for boots, and I’m ok with that. That’s why we each have some discretionary money each month.

      • Anonymous

        I’m in a similar situation finance-wise to the OP (I’m an attorney, husband was in grad school when we met and now in the working world but makes significantly less than I do). I agree with the comment about the most important thing being the day-to-day expenses. My husband and I are generally on the same page about spending with respect to housing, cars, food, savings etc. I do however spend a lot more on “fun stuff” than him. Like you, I don’t think its unreasonable to spend several hundred dollars on a handbag and I like to take nice vacations and if it were up to my husband we’d never travel. I’m sure some guys also have expensive interests, but my husband doesn’t. Pretty much the only thing he buys that I don’t want is cable so he can get ESPN. However, I wouldn’t say our different spending habits cause a lot of conflict. He has accepted that we will take one nice vacation per year and he won’t know how much it costs and similarly he doesn’t want to know exactly how much money I spend on handbags or other clothing items (with the caveat that he knows it is coming out of discretionary income and not affecting our ability to pay our basic expenses and save at the rate we want to save). I think that sort of don’t ask, don’t tell policy can be helpful, assuming both spouses can be trusted to stay within some sort of spoken or unspoken limit.

        • Different attitudes towards money

          Thanks, Anonymous. I think we are on the same page with respect to housing, cars, food, etc. now (we rent and split the rent) but I wonder how that might change in the future when it comes to mortgage. I suspect I’d feel more comfortable with a higher mortgage than he would, even if we could “afford” it. And I’m pretty conservative in my approach to money. I do have student loans (that I’m paying off rapidly) but I max out my retirement contributions and put a healthy chunk of money into non-retirement savings/investments as well (yes, I could knock out my loans faster if I didn’t, but after a very brief layoff at the early part of my career I decided that a big cushion was more important than paying them off even faster, because if the worst happens I can defer the loans).

          I think part of it is that I earn a lot more money than anyone else in his circle, so maybe the idea of dropping 500K on a house (yes i understand this is a LOT less than people pay in many markets!!) is just unfathomable when most of your friends are paying 150-200K.

          • Anonymous

            I’m anon at 4:14. I guess I should clarify that we don’t necessarily *want* the same things in terms of house, etc if it were just up to us. My husband could definitely get away with a smaller/not as nice place to live. However, he understands and accepts that I want a larger/better place and that it is going to cost more and he’s willing to do that to make me happy (and he also understands that my salary allows us to afford it and still save at the rate we want we want to save). I guess my point was not that you necessarily have to have the exact same attitudes about the big stuff, but you have to reach agreement on things like your mortgage. On the other hand, it may help keep the peace if you mutually decide that he doesn’t have to know how much each handbag and hotel room costs. That’s basically our situation. I do think it’s important to be on the same page about a general saving vs spending strategy, but it sounds like you’re both pretty frugal and want to live within your means and save aggressively.

          • Different attitudes towards money

            “it sounds like you’re both pretty frugal and want to live within your means and save aggressively.”

            Yes, definitely this. He’s actually very proud of the fact that I save as much as I do and am generally pretty money-savvy, and that this means that we can also afford to do fun/expensive things from time to time. But he still gets the sticker shock.

            And I firmly believe that a happy co-existence is one where he doesn’t have to know how much my shoes cost, and I don’t have to know how much his tech gadgets cost, as long as no one is blowing the budget to make the purchases. Ignorance is bliss :)

      • Sexist

        I know plenty of guys who are far less frugal than most of the women I know. This isn’t about gender, it’s about attitudes toward money.

        • Maddie Ross

          I didn’t mean that men are more frugal. Sorry if it was interpreted that way. I meant that her specific examples, in particular the handbag one, were things that men may not realize could be so expensive.

          • Lynnet

            Yes, my husband is shocked at how much I spend on clothes, and I’m shocked at how much he spends buying machines off of government surplus websites, and we have agreed that ignorance is bliss. :)

          • Burgher

            When I was walking out the door to go shopping for my wedding dress, my hubs said “don’t spend more than $200!”, and he was completely serious. He just had no idea.

        • viv

          I agree. Buying expensive items is not necessarily gender related. I was shocked a few years ago when my boyfriend at the time wanted to buy Cole Haan shoes for $350. He was earning 25,000 a year working a low-paying job. His perspective was that he would use them for 10 years and they were high quality. I had never in my life bought shoes that were so expensive, and I earned significantly more than him. Now I understand his point of view, but it took me years to get there. I was raised to be frugal as much as possible, except when it comes to paying for investments like education.

          • Anon

            I quite literally scoffed when a company tried to offer me 25k for a starting salary, starting average in my field is double that. I have since told everyone in my field to avoid that company like the plague. Sorry for the rant, thats just a sore spot.

          • viv

            That is very low pay, I agree. But he wasn’t working in a professional field that required a college degree. I find it annoying that so many people on this site talk about their high salaries but few people acknowledge that this is not the reality for many people. High salaries are not the norm for everyone.

    • Cat

      My husband and I are similar to you two. I make about 3/5 (to 2/3 if it’s a good bonus year) of our income. We’re both savers but I am definitely looser on the purse strings and more prone to impulse purchases, although I probably wouldn’t spend $500 without giving him the heads up and telling him why.

      For us, the compromise has been that if he wants to spend the time figuring out a cheaper alternative (other than my clothing, ahem), he’s welcome to do so. If he doesn’t, then he can’t complain about me spending the “unnecessary” amount, which is still well within our overall budget, to be done with the issue. This often works out well – he’ll find hidden gem hotels on Trip Advisor, come home from the farmer’s market with bucketsful of veggies to roast, or discover a better deal on something, and take pride in saving money, and we both benefit from the extra savings (plus I appreciate his effort – which is definitely worth it!).

      ETA: Agree with Maddie Ross above, about your everyday saving/spending philosophy mattering more than splurges on occasional items.

    • Anon

      How much you spend shouldn’t matter if you a) have no consumer/school debt and b) have adequate savings for retirement/ emergencies. Note that I don’t consider house debt a bad thing. As long as you are within your means it’s all good. As for me and spouse. He likes technology so he buys himself 2 or 3 things a year cause tech is expensive, I on the other hand budget 50/month or so for ‘stuff’ which could be anything from a new makeup palette to replacing a pair of jeans I ruined. Balances to about the same amount and well within our means.

      • Different attitudes towards money

        No consumer debt, but I do still have school debt (low rates and paying off ahead of schedule). I max out retirement and I have a healthy savings account and non-retirement investment account. I know a lot of people would tell me to cash out the accounts and pay off the remaining balance of my loans, but I was laid off briefly at the beginning of my legal career b/c of the economy, and I never want to feel that panicked about money again. I’d rather know that, if the worst happens again, I can put my loans into deferment and bust out my emergency fund until the waters calm.

    • Lyssa

      This is a frequent issue for us, too, though with the sexes reversed (I’m the cheapskate), though it’s something that definitely got easier for us after a while. A lot of it is just learning to compromise. We’ve both come down from our respective positions a lot – he’s more willing to consider that extra money doesn’t always mean better, and I’m more willing to understand that sometimes it does and that spending can be OK.

      It’s started to flare back up in the past few years, with having a kid and him leaving work and student loans catching up to us, but we’re working it out. It’s really helped to make a budget each month, so we can really see what we do and don’t have (and this helps me to feel better about it, rather than thinking that we’re going to wind up in the poor house because we bought name-brand pasta or something). He was somewhat resistant to it at first, but now that we’ve gotten into it, he’s starting to see it as a game (can we stay under on X?), which helps.

    • Anon2 in NYC

      No real advice. But I come from a similar background and have been the phd student and now have been a lawyer for 5 years. My perception on costs changed dramatically after making actual income for a couple of years. I’m still pretty frugal (as is DH), but have loosened up. Your SO’s current peer group is fairly squeezed for cash. When that changes, his attitude will too.

      • Different attitudes towards money

        That’s a very good point. He’s considering 1 year post-doc opportunities, and I’d stay put in our current city while he was away for that. His peer group totally didn’t understand why I wouldn’t just go with him because most of them have wives or girlfriends who don’t work or who work in retail, dining, etc (and could more easily find a comparable place in a new city). He had to explain to them that “OP has a real job, with a real trajectory, that earns real money ie more than X times our stipend” before they understood.

          • Different attitudes towards money

            I’m sorry if this is a very dense question, but what is an academic spouse? Does that mean spouse of a student, or spouse of a professor? He has no interest in the professorship path – the post-doc would be prior to going into industry.

          • Mpls

            Not the OP, but my sense is that an academic spouse is someone married to someone either in academia (professor), doing academic research (post-doc, grad student) or pursuing a degree (student, either ugrad or grad), though probably more of the first two. And are typically trailing along with the person in academia, as those are jobs that you plan to move for, rather than finding something in your area (unless you are REALLY lucky).

            In your example, he wouldn’t be looking for a teaching post, but would be looking for a research post, albeit temporarily. And I’m guessing that most post-doc research posts are in an academic setting.

          • Anonymous

            Hmm, in my husband’s field it’s unusual to do a postdoc unless you’re trying to do the professorship path, so I was referring more to that. Although the long distance you’ll have to do during the postdoc is one of the common “academic spouse” hardships, so you’re definitely getting some of the downsides. Being the spouse of a student is pretty nice, except for the lost salary.

          • Different attitudes towards money

            Ah, thank you! In my SO’s field it is very common to do a postdoc even when you have no intention of pursuing a professorship. We’ve already discussed the fact that it would make zero professional sense for me to move with him for a postdoc, and that when it comes to post-postdoc employment, we’ll need to look for a city that will offer us the best options collectively (not that he’ll find an offer that will give me a post, too, but that it will be a city where we can both find meaningful work).

    • EK

      You don’t say if you are pooling money in any way, but it seems to me that this is a factor of your disparate income. On his grad school stipend, $300 a night hotel room is a relatively bigger expensive than it is on your $$ income.

      I make over 100k+ and with my school loans, I still can’t afford to stay in a $300 a night hotel room. That’s like 1/5th of a student loan payment.

      That doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t love to stay in a $300 a night hotel room if I had a significant amount of disposable income and it doesn’t mean that i don’t think it’s a reasonable way for people with a significant amount of disposable income to spend money.

      It simply means that I can’t afford it. I suspect it’s the same with your boyfriend who’s living on loans/a stipend.

      Maybe he’s embarrassed to tell you he can’t afford to stay in a $300 a night hotel.

      • Different attitudes towards money

        Great point. I pay for these hotel rooms (no split) because I get the income disparity and it wouldn’t feel fair/right to split that when it is a significant cost for him and not for me. But maybe that is part of it – he feels embarrassed because he can’t afford it, even if he wants to, and even though he knows that I don’t expect him to contribute (or resent that he can’t).

      • Tibby

        +1. It sounds like his spending habits are reasonable for his income, and your spending habits are reasonable for yours. When I was in law school I NEVER would have paid more than $100 for a hotel room; now that I’m a BigLaw associate I do it without blinking. Ditto bags, restaurants, drinks, etc. You probably make at least 5x more than him. Maybe 10x more than him. I would be really shocked if he spent money in the same way you did. It sounds like you both spend/save in proportion to your incomes and that you’re just as frugal as he is, relative to your larger income. The only issue is that he feels uncomfortable with you paying for things he can’t afford on his budget. (I am assuming that you pay for these more expensive things and not that you ask him to split them!). As long as you’re happy to pay and don’t do anything to make him feel bad about it, that’s really his own issue and something that he needs to work through. Not saying it’s easy, though, with all of the cultural baggage re: women paying for men.

    • (Former) Clueless Summer

      Definitely same concept between my SO and myself, although we both work and he makes about 75% of what I do, so not so much of an income differential. He just does not get wanting expensive things or spending money on something you could do yourself (maid service, clean and press, car service). For us, I explain the difference partly through background (although it sounds like you and your SO have a similar background) but also environment. He wears gap khakis and a banana republic button down and one pair of shoes to work every day. He has time to press his own shirts and theoretically to clean the house. And his “peers” do as well.

      Whereas the expectations at work are different for me, and the time constraints are different as well. Even though we share money, right now we just account differently in the budget for our expenses. When we do things together, we try to trade-off or compromise (half super nice hotels, half motels or something).

    • Brant

      Same situation, in that DH and I came from an (on paper) equally fortunate upbringing. Our household incomes were about equal, with my family earning a bit more but in a HCOL area. He grew up in a rich part of the south, where everything is cheaper–even in the expensive part :)

      My parents were “go on small vacations every year” types, while his parents were No Vacation Ever Except for That Time We All Went to Italy and Spent $30k. His parents bought more luxury cars, but drove them for 10 years. Mine leased cars (dad’s company / job influenced this). DH went to a Very Top private school, and I went to an Excellent Public school.

      You’d think we’d fight about money less, but it’s pretty crazy. DH was adament about sending our kids to private school up here in new england. He went to private school. I showed him the sticker price for private school of the same caliber he went ($40k), then we compared it to today’s tuition at his old school ($25k). I then also showed him how great the public school test scores were compared to where he grew up.

      When we bought a house…ohmygod. We had a very good budget (500k) and were looking at 1300 sq ft homes with a one-car detached garage. his parents were in shock that we got so little for spending so much!

    • Anonymous

      I think this is common. I bought my husband two 200 pairs of shoes and he loved them and wore them until they fell apart. Same goes for 100-150 silk ties. He would lose his mind if he knew what they cost. He would seriously rather own junk that needs to be replaced every three months and looks bad from the start than own things that cost more than he thinks things should cost. We seriously save money, time and space by not buying garbage but he will never be convinced.

      The solution we have found is he buys groceries and pays the mortgage and for gas and stuff. I cover vacations and pay for and order a lot of his suits, shirts etc.

      Leads to no fights except when he damages a tie or something and wants to know why I am in horror.

  7. j

    Continuing the request for doc recs, does anyone have a dermatologist (for adult acne) or GI doc that they recommend in downtown DC?

  8. Bonnie

    DC meetup. Email me at dccorpore**e (replace * with t) at yahoo dot com and I’ll send you the link to the doodle poll.

  9. Anon for this

    Do we have any transactional real estate attorneys here?

    I’m trying to figure out how to transistion from real estate litigation to transactional real estate work. I have about 2 years of experience on the litigation side, and I’ve represented clients in transactions two or three times. The more time I spend in litigation, the more I know it isn’t for me, and I’ve really enjoyed the contract negotiations that I’ve been involved in. All the job postings I see are for associates with two to three years of experience in real estate law, and the skills required are things I’ve done once or twice, but would definitely not be able to do on my own right off the bat. Is there anything, short of jumping on the real estate deals that our firm does get, to make myself a more attractive candidate for a transactional position? I know I’m going to have to start conducting informational interviews, but I’d really like to get a feel from the attorneys here regarding what I should be asking about.

    • avery

      I would definitely try to get on deals at your firm if possible so that by the time you lateral you’ll be more comfortable with deal work. If you can get through the busy end of the year period and have a few deals under your belt, maybe you won’t be docked in years when you lateral.

      • Lynnet

        Thanks for this! Unfortunately, we get very few deals through the door- we’re primarily a (small) litigation firm- I’m fairly certain that, given my expressed interest, I’m on most of the deals we have, there just aren’t more than two or three a year.

        I have no problem getting docked in years when I lateral- I’d expected that- I just want to be able to lateral into transaction work, if that makes sense.

        • Lynnet

          Honestly, I don’t know why I ever try to post as “anon” I’m so bad at it.

  10. vest advice

    I own a brown rabbit fur vest that I’m OBSESSED with. Just found another one that I love (ON SALE!!!) in grey. Am I crazy to buy it? It feels excessive (the way I sometimes feel if I fall in love with a boot/dress/etc. in a particular style and I order additional ones in various colors). Advice?

      • Anonymous

        I’m not just a fur hater, I’m also generally against killing and mistreatment of animals.

      • AIMS

        No one is perfect, but it’s not really “fur hate” so much as “needless animal cruelty hate,” no? I can see how someone could consider the options and come to the conclusion that you know what, I don’t really care if animals are being skinned, often in truly horrific conditions, because I really want to wear this cute soft vest that makes me looks super adorable and that is super cozy, but I think referring to people who are anti-fur as “fur haters” as if they’re just in it to spoil your fun diminishes the very valid conversation people should be having (at least internally) on this issue. I’ll be the first to admit that I am not perfect. I wear leather and I eat meat from time to time. But I also acknowledge the ethical issues inherent to my choices, try to buy ethically sourced items when possible, and I am honest enough with myself to acknowledge the moral gray area.

      • Pat (yes, the bunny)

        Is “perfection” the standard one must achieve in one’s own life before one may object to barbarism and torture? I guess, for want of being “perfect” myself, I must also choose not to oppose domestic violence, child abuse, terrorism, rape, murder, unjust war …?

        • VeryAnon

          No, perfection isn’t necessary before one can object to torturing an animal just so someone can wear a tacky vest.

      • Ew

        I’ve always found that those whose response to any criticism is “oh but you’re not perfect either” tend to be very, very dense.

    • NYtoCO

      Is it something you wear 10+ times when it’s in season? If so, I say go ahead. It sounds lovely.

      • Anon

        Agree. I was in a fur shop up in Colorado not too long ago, and it was all I could do to not buy all the beautiful fur they had. If you’re going to wear it and you love it, get it.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah. Killing bunnies so you can have all the vests in all the colors is excessive, tacky, and tasteless.

    • OP

      I love how this draws so much criticism, yet postings about leather shoes, bags, boots, etc. are virtually unjudged by people. I appreciate the discussion, though.

      • AIMS

        It’s true, it is hypocritical. But you have to start somewhere. I feel bad buying leather but I haven’t made the transition to not buying it yet. All I can manage so far is to draw the line at not buying fur and calfskin. I’ve tried to rationalize it in various ways but ultimately it’s all B.S. and what it comes down to for me, if I am being 100% honest, is that wearing fur is so incredibly cruel and the practices associated with most fur producers so inhumane (with animals even being skinned alive) and it is so amazingly easy to just not buy it. I realize that sounds beyond dumb – leather is hard to avoid so I won’t stop wearing it but fur is easy so no one should wear it – but then again shouldn’t doing the good things that are so easy be a no-brainer?

      • Anon

        Along with make-up. Animal testing is MUCH more cruel than fur harvesting. At least the animal isn’t suffering, where they are pretty much tortured for make up and other product testing.

        • VeryAnon

          Actually, they’re housed in pretty appalling conditions before they’re “harvested,” so yup, they’re suffering. And I don’t use makeup or any beauty products that are tested on animals. If there was a better alternative to leather for shoes, and someone bothered to use it to make shoes in narrow widths, I wouldn’t wear leather shoes.

        • Mpls

          Tell that to the 4H kid raising one as a project. Yet the cow still gets butchered and eaten, because that is it’s purpose for existing.

          ETA – yes, I realize cattle aren’t as common to have as pets as cats/dogs, but 4H isn’t that uncommon either.

          • Wildkitten

            Where I’m from, kids sell their 4-H animals for slaughter and save the money for college. They aren’t pets, they’re part time jobs.

        • Eliza

          Doesn’t the line between animals that are pets and those that aren’t seem terribly arbitrary? Certainly it can be cultural.

          Plenty of homesteaders raise rabbits for food. Bunnies are delicious.

          And on the flip side, I have a pet goat. He’s as dear to me as anyone’s dog might be to them.

  11. SSN in job application?

    Has anyone encountered an online job application system that requires you to enter your SSN? I found in this situation and when I called HR, they said it was to identify you in case you called with a question. With all the recent theft of data from electronic systems I find myself reluctant to enter information of this sort on a job application site. And there’s no way around it, you must enter all the digits and the field is mandatory. What would you do?

    • Must be Tuesday

      Did you ask HR what they preferred you to do if you were unwilling to provide the SSN? If it were me, and I couldn’t leave that question blank or enter a word response such as “decline to state,” I would either (1) not apply or (2) put an obviously fake number like 888-88-8888 or 000-00-0000 or 123-45-6789.

  12. anonsg

    Maybe I am a few days late, but I just want to say – Kat, thank you for adding the expand/collapse comments feature!!!!!

  13. Bewitched

    Any restaurant recommendations in Center City Philly or near Ardmore PA? Needs to be on casual side, friendly to kids, a senior citizen and a diabetic who doesn’t eat carbs or red meat! TIA!

  15. SoCalAtty

    Hello again ‘r e t t e s!

    Just one final reminder that the DTLA meetup will be Sunday, at 10am, at 26 Beach in Marina del Rey! Hope to see you there!

    If you want to let me know you are coming, the email is dtlarette at g mail dot com!

  16. Therapist

    I can’t seem to pull the trigger. I found one that seems as if she might be a good fit for me, but I can’t/won’t call to make an appointment. The idea of sharing my thoughts, history, and the reasons for seeking her services makes me shudder. Anyone else have similar reservations going in and having to share when your nature is to internalize and keep everything private? How did you get past whatever your reservations may have been?

    • (former) preg 3L

      Literally her job is to make you comfortable. All you have to do is walk through the door and sit down. Do your future self a favor and make the call. Or, ask a good friend to make the appointment for you. It is sooooooooo worth it! Good luck!

    • Sarabeth

      Remind yourself that you don’t HAVE to talk about any of that if you don’t want to. Really, if you are too uncomfortable, you can show up and say nothing for 50 minutes. Or talk about how you find the prospect of therapy uncomfortable. It is totally fine to wait until you have built a relationship and feel more comfortable before you reveal the private bits. And it won’t be shocking to the therapist – they have seen everything, including anxiety about seeking therapy, many times over.

    • Senior Attorney

      When I want to do something that I am afraid will be embarrassing or uncomfortable, I ask myself, “Which do I want more: to do this thing, or to not be (temporarily) embarrassed/uncomfortable?” The answer is almost always “I want to do the thing,” so I go ahead and do it, with the understanding that the price I will pay for the benefit of the thing is having to suffer through the initial embarrassment or discomfort. It’s almost always been worth it.

      For therapy, I think it will for sure be worth it. As Sarabeth says, you will be in control of the information you choose to share, and the pace at which you share it. So go ahead and make the call!

    • Idea

      Also – Therapy should be a safe place for you to bring up your fears… about therapy. A good therapist will be able to help you work through the worries and fears and anxiety.

      The first time I met with my current therapist, she told an off-color joke that made me feel uncomfortable. I discussed with her then, briefly, and again later.

      Also, another time I apparently insulted her office by noting there were no pictures, only diplomas. This was something we talked about. A few times I have walked out of there thinking that I need therapy to deal with my therapy, but overall it has been very helpful.

  17. Denver newbie

    Landing in Denver at 2pm tomorrow and meeting some friends in LoDo at 6. What’s the best way to kill a few hours in/around Denver? Will have a rental car!

    • Rogue Banker

      I grew up in CO, and I have fond, fond memories of the 16th St Mall. It’s basically about two miles of shops, Hard Rock Cafe Denver is on there. If you’re looking for good food too, look up Landry’s Seafood.

      Also, this time of year it’s getting COLD. Hope you brought snow boots and good gloves.

  18. Veronica Mars

    Advice needed: I graduate soon and have been fortunate enough to get a few interviews recruiting on my campus. I’ve done some past internships in Communications/PR and Comm/Marketing. Ok, here’s the question: is it worth it to take a job at a small, super-fast paced company where employees are basically married to the job? (i.e. agency /consulting life?) I know in many of these jobs the work-life balance would be virtually nonexistent thanks to the basic nature of the job. I’m torn because I feel a bit strange trying to lean away from working hard, and I see the pros as being: build great skills in every part of my job (i.e. get to the point where I can churn stuff out), learn a ton, advance more quickly, and basically “pay my dues” for a cushy job later. cons being: high possibility of burnout, personal repercussions (not dating since I eventually want a family), less stability (high turnover), health issues (mental/physical like weight gain). Thoughts? The alternative would be really aiming for a corporate job (where everything moves at a slow, dinosaur place) and then using agency as a backup. This is basically a non-issue now because I have zero offers, but I always feel a bit trepidatious going on interviews with companies when I know the work would be INSANE.

    • West Coast

      I would go for the job where you will learn more and have better exit opportunities. After 2 years, reassess and decide what you want to do then. You will have given a jump-start to career, and if you are suffering the personal repercussions you feared, you can jump to another job–you will still be under 25 and will have plenty of time to work on that. If you decline the more challenging job opportunity, you will always be thinking ‘what-if’.

    • viv

      You could be making incorrect assumptions here. Working at an agency for a few years when you’re under 25 will not automatically help land you a “cushy” job somewhere else. That “cushy” job could be high-stress and demanding as well. PR and communications has a high burnout rate overall as an field. And working in a corporation doesn’t mean things necessarily move at a slow “dinosaur” pace either. It really depends on the company culture, how quickly the company is growing, what their priorities are and what the structure of your department is like. I think you have to assess each opportunity once you actually have a job offer and do what fits you best. Wanting to have a comfortable work/life balance is fine. Wanting to focus on your career and dedicate all your time to that is also fine, depending on your life context. It comes down to what you want.

    • Communications Careers

      I am a communications executive (in-house), and I always tell all interns/undergrads who are interested in comms to start out at an agency if they can. It gives you a broad exposure to lots of different kinds of work and instills a particular work ethic (billable hours) in you. Whenever I am hiring people — whether junior or mid-level — I always prefer someone who has done at least a few years at an agency. And if I were hiring a junior person (let’s say for his/her second job out of college), I would generally be much more likely to hire the one coming out of an agency than the one coming out of a corporate job.

      I would also second the caution that corporate jobs are not always “cushy”. I work 65 to 80 hours/week, with frequent travel, and that’s as the head of the department.

  19. ShoeRuiner

    I need advice on what shoes can take a lot of abuse!

    I work in administration at a university in the northern Midwest. For my shoes, this means many weather conditions to factor, regardless of the season. I almost never have a day when I just stay in my office or one building, meetings take me all over campus most days. It’s a smallish campus so everyone walks everywhere, driving is not really an option. I don’t spend a lot of money on shoes since I don’t make a ton of money and I ruin shoes so fast, walking all over campus in crazy weather.
    Last winter I tried wearing boots to walk around and putting on nice shoes when I arrived in the buildings, but them there is the issue of what to do with my boots. It just seemed weird.
    Many of my peers tend to phone it in when it comes to the shoes and just go for durable, but I usually dress a little better than my peers and I want to keep it that way. Dressing for the job I want and all.

    Any recommendations on shoes that are affordable or worth spending more that can hold up for a long time? Or should I keep buying cheap shoes and replacing them?

    • Shoegirl

      For winter check out brands like Ugg which offer shoes that are shearling lined. From what you describe I think it might be better to get a boot that is nice looking enough to be worn everyday without having to change into other shoes. I recommend Ugg Elsa, I saw it in a store this week, leather, it’s labelled as waterproof and is shearling lined, check out their site. Unless your wardrobe is very formal I think this can work in a college environment. It’s definitely something I would get for myself. I also like their Adirondack boot, much more casual look but warm, I have the shorter height pair. You can actually wear them with the cuff turned up if yuo don’t like the shearling part showing. Also makes for a more streamlined look. You should also look at Blondo, Canadian brand, I like the look of Blondo Vida, although some reviews say it’s sub-par. On this site I’ve seen people recommend La Canadienne, their stuff looks good but it’s also pricier. Sorel is another one though I think some of their stuff can look bulky, also not formal. All these shoes are not exactly cheap but if you choose wisely, they can last a long while. Once you buy a pair make sure you maintain them, get rid of salt and debris on a daily basis etc. Hope this helps.

    • SA-litagor

      They price match everyone. If you find it for a lower price anywhere else, they’ll match it. I once found the jeans I bought at Nordstroms on 6pm for $20 less, chatted with customer service online and sent them the website link, and they refunded me the $20.

  21. mer

    So I know this Nordstrom Clearance is supposed to be the new half yearly sale, but did they get rid of the mascara sale they used to do? I haven’t seen an email about it and I always use that deal to stock up…

  22. is this dress work appropriate?

    Hi – I’m cleaning out my closet in prep for a new job and re-discovered this dress my mom bought me a few years ago (link to follow – it is not as low-cut on me as in the photos, and the ruffle on the neckline is also not as dramatic and flared on me). This dress is My Color, and the sheath silhouette is great cut for me, however the ruffle and sleeveless-ness is throwing me off.

    This would be a winter dress for me (in the south), so I would need to wear something over it. But none of my cardigans look right (probably because they are all hip length, and also cheap). I’m thinking a bolero might look right, but I don’t own any to try on with it.

    Is there anyway to style this for work (more casual, if possible), or this like, a holiday party dress and I’m totally off? Thanks for any ideas!

  23. ALN

    So let’s talk about straight size vs plus size clothing. I used to wear size 14. I’ve gained some weight in law school and I’m up to 16, which means I’m starting to be sized out of the straight size stores. But here’s the dilemma: I try on actual plus size clothing and I’m swimming in even the smallest sizes. What gives? I’m feeling pressure now to lose weight to stay in straight sizes because apparently I’m not actually plus size despite being too big for many straight size brands. Anyone else have this problem? What brands work for you?

    • anon

      @ALN I have the same problem and haven’t found any plus size things that fit. I wear 16-18 in Talbots and Pendleton. But Talbots 12W is too big and fits weird – maybe more boxy than Talbots is usually. I do have one 14W jacket that I like but that’s it. I’m trying to get back to 12-14 so I have more choices (plus I have a closet full of timeless work clothing).

    • I'm Just Me ...

      Yeah. There are several places that carry 16 online, but not in the stores, like Ann Taylor, Loft and Banana. It’s annoying that you can’t run in and try things on, but rather have to wait for them to be shipped and then lug them in for returns if they are not flattering and potentially pay postage for shipping.

      I’ve had luck with various brands at Nordstrom and Macy’s as well as the above mentioned stores. It really depends on the piece and the style. I tend to shop a lower price point than most people who post here.

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