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Something on your mind? Chat about it here. Happy weekend! Nordstrom has a lot of circle clutches right now, and I like this fun coral one from BP that's super affordable at $28. It seems like a cute little piece to add to a little black dress or a dress to wear to a wedding. This color would look great with navy or red as a nice contrasting pop of color, but also with gray or black. It's also available in white and black, and all three colors have the wooden handle. Faux Leather Circle Clutch This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Talk to me about Neti pots and sinus rinsing
I am like the last person to try sinus rinsing. My ENT recommended it and I have a follow-up appointment scheduled, but it is weeks from now.
I am using the squeeze bottle and distilled water and the salt sachets that go with it. I got over the OMG drowning in salt water initial sensation. Is it supposed to wash out the mucus? What comes out is mostly clear and seems like salt water (not water + mucus). The mucus that comes out later is salty (or maybe that is residue that is left over from it coming out my mouth) and possibly (?) thinner.
I’m not super-clogged. But 2x/day hasn’t been a miracle cure, either (my friends are very much Neti pot is the holy grail).
Are there any tricks or hacks to be aware of? Does it make things better? I was hoping for magically better and it’s just a bit better maybe.
Good luck
I am going to presume you do it in the shower, but you didn’t say that, so I just want to let you know that is the trick for me. I do the neti pot just until stuff runs out of my nose and then I rinse off. I don’t do it for very long. Hope that helps.
Inspired By Hermione
It thins it out for me, so I can blow it out throughout the day. But I do get lots of just salt water. I use Flonase after.
I notice a HUGE difference when I stop, but I don’t necessarily notice a day to day difference when I’m doing it consistently, if that makes sense.
Anon
I use aerosol spray cans of saline instead of a neti-pot.
Anon
I haven’t found it to be a miracle cure. Regular (daily) Zyrt*c use is more helpful. I have had one particular cold when it helped dramatically every time I used it and it was very obviously flushing out mucous. I think it is supposed to help rinse allergens out so it might be useful along those lines, but I never found it to be worth the hassle.
Elle
If you’re not actively stuffed up, you’re not going to see a lot come out. But like Anon at 4:02 said, the idea for general use is that it is rinsing out allergens.
I don’t do it regularly any more (thank you allergy shots) but any time I feel something coming on I add it back into my routine.
IMMJ
I use the squeeze bottle most of the year, along with Nasacort spray. It sounds like you’re using it right – just make sure you blow your nose gently afterwards. (Before a shower is ideal for me as the solution usually drips out a little even after I blow my nose.) I’ve found that the combination is enough to keep my allergies reasonably under control. As the others say, the main reason to do it is to wash out the allergens. It’s not the holy grail, but the combination allowed me to quit taking antihistamines.
Shared room?
Curious what folks have to say about kids sharing a room. I have two girls, ages 3 and 6, who currently share a bedroom. How long do you think this can comfortably last? For context, we live in NYC and will remain apartment dwellers for the foreseeable future.
Did anyone here share a room with a sister throughout their childhood?
Anonymous
I have girls that share a room in the SEUS and will split them up when the older one goes to middle school (she is 10 now, definitely a tween, puberty has started, and I think she’d like some space in this world that is hers alone). Sharing was helpful when they were teeny, but less so as they have become independent / school aged kids.
I shared a room with my sister until some time in middle school (NYC suburb where that wasn’t too uncommon).
Anonymous
FWIW, we have an extra bedroom, but wanted to host out-of-town grandmothers and other relatives when they were tiny, so it has been husband’s snooring room otherwise. We can separate them and probably by after next xmas break will have done it. Need to acquire extra dresser and get our junk out of the closet . . . Ugh.
Anonymous
I think puberty, if you want to be extra safe move before the oldest one starts middle school. But I know people in NY who stayed in the same bedroom as their sibling (some of them opposite sex) until they left for college (in one case through college because they both went to school in the city). I’ve seen people make it work by moving the kids into the master bedroom and dividing it so its a little more private. All above sibling pairs are functional adults now haha. I did notice that almost everyone I know with 3 or more kids moved to the suburbs, 2 or less stayed in the city (people I grew up with, my friends are just starting to have kids now).
Worry about yourself
My sister and I shared a room until we moved to the suburbs when I was 8 and she was 3; looking back, we probably could’ve shared for a couple more years, but I think middle school is when girls start to care about privacy when changing clothes, so if moving to bigger apartment 5ish years from now isn’t a feasible option, I would at the very least look into some sort of room divider. Your oldest will probably start to really want her own space in high school – to be clear, I’m not saying she’s entitled to it and you should move based on the whims of a teenager, just giving my input as to when room sharing will likely become an issue. She will most likely share a bedroom with at least one other girl for 2+ years of college, but she’ll definitely appreciate coming home to her own space on holidays and over the summer, and when she’s gone you’ll have a guest room.
Anonymous
Comfortable in what sense? I shared a room with my sister until I was 10, at which point we moved to a bigger house. I was happy to have my own space but I could have shared a room until college.
Meaning, you don’t have to move if you don’t want to, but middle school would be the time to do it if you’re just trying to decide when.
Vicky Austin
I shared a bedroom with various combinations of sisters until I was ten, and honestly I probably could have moved a little later, but I learned to appreciate it pretty quickly!
PolyD
I shared a room with my not quite 2 years younger sister about until I went to college (I think the last year before I left she decided to sleep in the finished basement because it was colder and darker down there). It was a small room, too – we had twin beds with a night stand in between and each bed touched the wall. I don’t feel particularly benefited or warped by it.
I also shared a dorm room or apartment bedroom until my last semester of college, first time I ever truly had my own room.
I am a bit bemused that people think it’s odd or not optimal for 2 girls to share a room past a certain age.
Anonymous
For people in suburbia with the typical now-2 kids per family, we had a room but kept our kids in one BR b/c they were 20 months apart in age and it was easier to read one story, put laundry away in one place, etc. But to have a room and not let them split up when they want to do so (for us, 4th grade for the oldest) would be odd.
In a big city where you typically can only easily have a 2BR max, it is NBD to stay co-roomed. The big Q I see is for people with boy-girl twins who share a room at first (but there is no economic way to swing a 3BR or they aren’t available and no grownup wants to move out to where they have a very long train commute, etc.).
pugsnbourbon
Similar here except I’m the younger sister. My sister was home a lot her freshman year. The first (and last, actually) time I really had my own room was my junior/senior years of college.
Trish
My brother and I shared a very large room through high school until I moved out at 18. My mom worked two jobs to afford our apartment. We had a walk in closet and a big bathroom so privacy wasn’t much of an issue.
anon
I shared a room with my sister until I left for college. It made the transition to having a roommate very smooth, though I really resented my parents for making me share a room. But I was a really treasure as a teenager and would have resented them for anything.
Anonymous
I shared a room until I left for college. I have 4 sisters and usually there would be 2-3 of us in a room, though there were a couple of times where I had my own space temporarily. In my experience, some kids care a lot more about having their own space than others. I started asking my parents for my own room around the beginning of middle school.
Two tips I have for making room sharing the best experience possible for your kids:
1. Pay attention to conflicts and needs. My closest-in-age sister and I fought constantly if we didn’t have regular time and space apart. We could get along fine if we stayed in different rooms or even had our own private space in a shared room, but majorly got on each others nerves (and into each others stuff) if we had to be around each other all day every day. Neither of us had this issue with any of our other sisters, so eventually we convinced our parents to let me (14) and our sister Marie (4) share one room while Alice (11) and Sally (1) shared the other. It wasn’t a conventional setup and it’s not something my parents thought would work given the age differences, but we were all much happier that way.
2. Embrace creative furniture arrangements. My mom had this expectation that Alice and I were going to share a room with two twin beds side-by-side with matching comforters and little shelves with our matching stuffed animals and personal items on them. That never worked because we were very different people and because that kind of furniture arrangement provides no privacy. When Marie and I started sharing a room, we got bunk beds and I put them right in the middle of the room, leaving 3 or 4 feet of space on each side. Then I stuck a sheet under both of our mattresses so that it created a wall of sorts on one side of the bunk beds. On Marie’s side she had her stuffed animals, a few books, and a little table and chair. On my side, I had a small desk, a lamp, and a shelf for my stuff. We both loved it: Marie thought it was so cool that she had her own “room” and I could work at my desk with the lamp on after her bedtime because the sheet blocked the light. Our room never would have been featured in a design catalog (and mom wasn’t a huge fan of how it looked), but it was functional, met the needs of each of us despite the age difference, and gave us the personal space we wanted even with a small shared room.
Vicky Austin
I love this story!
Original Moonstone
We has a similar set-up in my family — four sisters, with the oldest and youngest sharing a bedroom and the middle sisters sharing one. I think kids need some private space, but sometimes that can be achieve with curtains or folding room dividers. We had something like this carved wood one that created a little privacy next to a desk: https://www.worldmarket.com/category/furniture/living-room/accent-furniture.do?template=PLA&plfsku=548442&mrkgcl=660&mrkgadid=3086175763&camp=ppc%3AGoogle%3APLA%2BMerkle_Shopping_PLA%7CBrand%2BBrand%7CFurniture&product_id=548442&adpos=1o2&creative=111621983699&device=c&matchtype=&network=g&gclid=CjwKCAjwza_mBRBTEiwASDWVvqqjrsoqJfpJqOOVpHiMx12-aMxGy1kTpNeP9sn8oqDMHJ0v_B0DZxoCipkQAvD_BwE
Anonymous
I’d say at least 5 more years, but in NYC, probably through childhood. I shared a room with my brother until I was 10 and thought nothing of it. Sisters, for obvious reasons, could definitely share for longer.
anonforthis
I strongly believe kids will get used to whatever. I shared a small studio apartment with my dad (single dad, my mom died when I was very young) through COLLEGE. I began to understand when I was in high school that we were poor, and it was the only way we could live in a good neighborhood near decent schools. I stayed through college because our apartment was a short walk to the university I chose to go to (UCLA), and we could share expenses; I am also very close with my dad. When I was younger, I thought little of it, although it probably sounds nuts to many readers here.
JazzyRose
What was the room layout like?
anonforthis
There was a main room, kitchenette, and bathroom. In the main room, we had a two top dining table and chairs by the kitchen. I had a twin bed along the far wall, my dad’s was perpendicular along the window. No other furniture. The main room was less than 200 sq feet so there wasn’t much of a layout to work with.
LLBMBA
I went to a fancy boarding school where just about everyone shares a room until graduation. And then went to university and shared in the dorm. So, basically, you’ve got a lot of time!
Anon
I shared with three of my sisters until I/they left for college. We had 2 sets of bunk beds and shared the master bedroom. Most of the time we thought it was tons of fun and we learned how to give each other space when needed. Where I grew up it was very much the norm for siblings to share rooms so no one thought of it as a problem or something to worry about.
Bottom line, just do what works for your family in the moment but don’t worry about this as a Thing that needs to be Dealt With.
Anon
Equestrian ladies, what are your favorite breeches? I’m a size 10-12 with a much smaller waist than butt and it’s hard to find something comfortable (first consideration) and flattering. There are a zillion choices out there and I’m hoping for a recommendation to narrow the field. I’d prefer to spend less than $100.
Horse Crazy
For showing or schooling? For schooling, I love the Devon-Aire schooling tights. So comfy! $45 at Dover.
Anon
Schooling – not showing yet, but one day!
CountC
I love the fun colors of Tailored Sportsmans, but because they are pricey, I buy used pairs on eBay or other consignment shops/sites.
Velma
Irideon Cadence–a pull-on schooling breech, patch or full seat. You can often find them on ebay c. $50 bucks if you’re not picky about the color.
I like the elastic waist and rise length; they work well for my smaller waist/curvy hips.
I find they run pretty small. Your size must be close to mine–I buy a L, and I think an XL would not be too big.
Lin
Breeches are one of the items that I really do think the quality increases with the price. I love my pikeur fullseats and they never die. I’m now giving away my old ones. I typically watch for them on sale or order from overseas to get the for under $150. But I recently found some HKM breeches that are pretty amazing and they retail around $150 without any sales. I have a smaller waist with hips and really like these: https://www.timberridgeeqcenter.com/store/p339/HKM_Piemont_Element_Women%27s_Silicone_Full_Seat_Breeches_-_Moss_Green_and_Deep_Grey.html I have them in gray and I wasn’t crazy about all of the details initially, but they are so comfy and flattering!
Anon eventer
Ovation Celebrity and Taylored are two of my favorite – nice quality, mid rise (hate low rise), and good for curvier ladies, and sock bottom. I really dislike velcro ankle breeches. They dig and never stay in place.
Measles shots for older grownups
I heard on the news that if you are born in the (roughly) 60s/70s you may not have the measles immunity you think you have b/c the vaccine then was not as good as the ones for people getting them if they were born in the 1980s and later.
Are any of you getting booster shots? I go to NYC a lot for work and take transit / cabs / planes, so if I am not 100% immune but in the “older” group, I’d like to get them (does Minit Clinic type places do this? I got my flu shot at one).
I am due for my DPT shot in a year, but was thinking of doing it now (we had a pertussis outbreak and apparently the P part of the shot does wear off; the T part you need every 10 years but the other parts may wear off sooner).
I have my kids vaccinated and thought I was OK and now maybe that is not 100% true. SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS!
Mpls
I think its worth asking! Especially if you are scheduling a DPT booster, then ask about getting a MMR booster as well.
Anon
I was born in the late 80s and discovered (to my horror) that I was not actually immune when I had to get some immune testing done. It would have been great to find that out BEFORE traveling to a country where measles is endemic…I’ve since been revaccinated and am now immune. Fingers crossed that it holds since I already have plenty of other immune issues to worry about! I recommend getting tested, especially if you live in a state that already has an outbreak.
MomAnon4This
Not sure how old your kids are. I know I was given a DTP (Diptheria Tetanus Pertussis) booster when I was pregnant with my now-10year old and also with my now-3yearold. Might want to have your ob-gyne records checked.
I’ve been talking about this with my parents who had measles in the 1950s and also some folks I know in the healthcare field – I saw the headline about pre-1989 births needing a measles or MMR booster but then I didn’t hear anything more about it! I can’t tell what is important or real any more – help!
Mpls
I was a pre-1989 baby. The school usually required that students have evidence of an MMR booster. I vaguely remember doing this in the mid-90s/when I was entering middle school. So an MMR booster was definitely a thing, it’s just that school requirements meant most of the kids that needed it got it.
Anon
Yup 1985 here and everyone I know my age had two measles shots. The second was required for school entry.
Anon09
Do you have a way to check your vaccine records? I was born mid-70’s but did get two doses of the measles vaccine. My dad keeps paperwork forever and still had my immunization records that we submitted when I started college in 1994. He texted me a photo of it after reading the same news you did.
Anon
I got a titer done at our work health & wellness that showed I was not immune, despite being immunized (born in 1966). My workplace doesn’t stock the vaccine so I got it at an urgent care clinic, no records or test results required. I also got the pertussis booster while I was there since one of my cousins contracted pertussis in her 50s on an overseas flight.
Is it Friday yet?
I was born in the mid-80s, and was vaccinated per the then recommended schedule. I’ve twice had MMR titers pulled, first pre-college and then as part of my pre-employment physical for my current job (hospital system, so levels indicating immunity are required). Pre-college was fine, but for current job I had to get the MMR again, because my levels were no longer high enough for I think two of the three? I also had to get a varicella shot, as I was also no longer immune (had the disease at 2, had the shot pre-college – but I think the old one is maybe less effective? It was only one shot, and this time they gave me two…). I suspect your PCP would pull titers for you if you asked, as that’s the only way to know for sure.
anne-on
I read the recent story that those born/vaccinated prior to 1989 should have the shot again. I actually did it a few years back as I was travelling to Germany and the WHO suggested it to travelers born before ’90 I believe? We also had a newborn in the family at the time so I was doubly cautious. It was rarer to have Measles outbreaks then (sigh!) and I recall my doctor double checking the recommendation as he was so surprised I asked about it. He didn’t stock the vaccine but wrote me a scrip and CVS gave me the shot (but wouldn’t do so without a doctor’s prescription). Minute clinics should have them but I’d call ahead – it’s not as common a request as pertussis/shingles/flu.
pugsnbourbon
At least in my state (IN) you can now get the measles vaccine at clinics without a prescription.
Anon
Do you know if this applies to kids? My ped won’t give my toddler a booster yet and I want her to get one.
dc anon
I wouldn’t go against your peds advice on this. If you don’t agree with your peds, find a new peds.
Anon
The recommendation in the US per the CDC is that those born before 1968 should receive the MMR shot. If you are worried that you are not immune, your doctor can do a titer test. You may have had it done already by an OB as a standard test if you’ve had a baby .
Anon
My OB only tests rubella, fwiw. Maybe if you have rubella immunity you also are assured to have measles immunity, but I could see that not being the case.
Small Firm IP Litigator
I am from the 70s, and plan to ask for a titer test at my physical in a few weeks. I got a booster of some kind when there was a mumps outbreak at my university when I was in law school because they were giving them out for free, but I am not sure if it was MMR or just mumps and I want to be sure I am immune. My brain still can’t wrap my head around the fact we are having measles outbreaks in 2019.
drK
If you are concerned, get your measles titer. If you have immunity, then you are OK. Do this sooner rather than later. Once you get this result, you can make an informed decision with your doctor. That is my plan as well (born in ’87).
PolyD
This article might be of interest to all of you: https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2019/04/how-long-do-vaccines-last-surprising-answers-may-help-protect-people-longer
Anon
I asked my Dr. about a MMR booster this week. I was immunized years ago (born in ’69). She didn’t think it was necessary but agreed to test for it since I was having blood work done. Turns out, I need a booster. Be proactive on this one – measles are on the rise (which I imagine followed by “god help us all” in the tone of the principle from Grease).
Ses
Best use of “SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS” ever.
Anonymous
I could really use some encouraging words about relationships, making peace with the possibility of being single long term, etc. etc. I went through a horrible breakup back in the fall with a man who said he wanted to marry me. I saw him for the first time since then a couple of days ago and even though we barely interacted (and he looked terrible and I looked great, shallow but satisfying) I still feel like I got hit by a truck emotionally. He was my best friend and I still miss him – more so than I miss being in a relationship. I’ve been dating a little bit and it hasn’t been terrible, but extremely blah. About 80% of the time I feel really happy being single, and like I am making a good life for myself regardless of whether or not I find a partner, but not today/this week. I could really use advice and recommendations from the wise ladies on here, big or small, to help me put this into perspective and be kind to myself about this (not tough love tbh, I give myself enough of that).
Anonymous
So many hugs, and you are not alone. I too went through a horrible breakup in the fall with a man who had promised he was with me forever, and I too still feel like I got hit by a truck at times and miss him every single day (legitimately have to force myself to not text him every day). I actually feel as though I could have written your post – I’ve been dating a bit too but no spark at any time with anyone. What has helped me is to make sure I have something to look forward to for myself. For example, I feel at my best even when alone and in the midst of horrible pain when I am in the mountains, so I have booked a solo trip to Yosemite for the upcoming long weekend, where I am going to do some difficult hikes. This gives me a goal to work toward (ie. I have to train for the hikes) and is something I am doing purely for myself and by myself, which in turn makes me feel pretty strong! Other than that I have just been trying to really focus on being patient with myself. Healing isn’t linear and there are going to be days when I am 100% sure that I will be single forever, so on those days, I tell myself to focus on and work toward being a person that I would be happy to spend forever with, so that even that (unrealistic, I hope) prospect feels a little less heavy.
Anonymous
You sound like you’re doing really great actually!! It takes time to move on after a breakup.
Anon
Lots of hugs. You are not alone. Lean on those in your support circle–I suspect they want to help more than you know/think but don’t know how. Break ups are hard.
Monday
It sounds like you’re already doing everything right. Really happy, 80% of the time, is a good percentage for anyone! You just had a rough week because you ran into your ex. It’s totally normal, and will pass. Likewise the lack of spark while dating: deep connections are rare and special, and it doesn’t mean anything’s wrong that you haven’t found your next one yet.
Spend the weekend doing whatever feels good, and tell your friends what’s going on.
anon
Hugs. It’s just really hard and I wish I could undo it for you. If it makes you feel better, I had a sort of relationship with a guy that ended over a year ago– and it was certainly not as serious as yours– I thought I saw him out of the corner of my eye today and my whole body reacted. My heart rate went up, I got butterflies in my stomach, got nervous, etc. It comforts me to understand that much of our reaction to people whom we loved is neurological. I don’t say this to downplay your (or my) emotions because they’re so real, but to help me go easy on myself and put my reactions into perspective. My current emotional reactions to people I’ve dated are, in many ways, neuropsychology doing its thing. The fact that I’m still reacting doesn’t mean that I am wrong, or weak, that I am sad (generally speaking), that I am not over this person, that I am pathetic, that they still have power over me. Eventually you will continue to carve new, happy, healthy, pathways in your brain and continue to strengthen your existing happy, healthy pathways, and your pathways re: him will grow over and fade. (FWIW, this is how my therapist who has a PhD explains this to me..)
Anon Ex-Girlfriend
What’s helped me is to work less to make peace with the idea of being single in the long run, and instead to work to make peace with the idea that things are impermanent and always changing. I often totally feel like I’m going to be single forever, but when I take a step back, I have to admit that I don’t actually know that that’s true. Things can change at any time. The unpredictability of it all has been really frustrating and challenging for me, almost more than anything. (I’m definitely a planner.) Realizing that this type of vulnerability is a part of life, and not a special feature/punishment of being single, has helped me immensely.
FWIW, I find that the “settling down” phase of a relationship, which it sounds like you were in until the breakup, really encourages feeling of permanence and stability, and being thrust into the opposite side of things is just really jarring. As others above have said, you’re doing all the right things – hang in there!
Ellen
I agree with all of the OP’s! You are doing great, and from what you say, you are lookeing great and he, not so much! Hang in there, we are all in the same boat as you, single b/c of guys who do NOT deserve us. But there WILL be a guy who will be good for us, and we will find him, or remain happilley single!
BTW, there is going to be a NORDSTROM’s to open on the Upper East Side! That is in addition to the one on 58th and Broadway, so I will NOT have to go over to the West Side to get stuff when there is one near to where I live. The Onley down side is that I won’t have to go up to Weschester to go to the Nordstrom’s in White Plains, which means I won’t see Rosa and the kid’s as much any more. But I can always go there to return stuff I buy in case Rosa and the kid’s don’t want it.
Any way, I have been so busy these last 2 weeks that I don’t want to think I have forgotten about the HIVE. The HIVE remains a vibrant part of my life. I just have to catch up on all of the p’osts that I have not read b/c of all of the litigation I have been embroiled in over the last 2 weeks! FOOEY!
Monday
This is so wise. Thanks, ex-girlfriend!
Permanence is an illusion for everyone. People can go from single to coupled at any time, just the same as they can go from coupled (indeed married) to single.
Anon Ex-Girlfriend
Aww, thank you, Monday!
Cat
JCrew advice needed. I picked up one of their perfect rain jackets a few months ago when it was on promo, and have worn it, gently, a handful of times now that the weather is warm enough. Today I noticed one of the little widgets that hold the drawstring in place doesn’t catch well, so the waist isn’t staying cinched as it should. If I take it back to the store and explain, do you think they’ll exchange it for free?
January
Probably. I bought a winter coat with toggle closures from J. Crew a couple of years ago, and the toggles frayed by the end of the season. I took the coat back and they gave me a full refund (because the coat was out of stock and it was no longer possible to exchange it).
Cat
Update: no issue getting the exchange! Good customer service.
Anon
Awesome–thanks for reporting back!
Anon
Relatedly, I had great customer service from WhiteHouseBlackMarket and Anthropologie this week. I returned items (tags on, paper receipt in hand) to each of them one day past the return window and got credit back to my payment method without any comment. I was expecting that they’d either make me take a store credit (annoying but okay) or give me the current sales price for the items (grrr). But, nope, both were great! Just wanted to put a word in for each!
Anon
Help me spend money! I have $500 set aside for a summer capsule-ish wardrobe. I need cute summer basics for my super casual office job. What should I get? I have no idea what to wear this summer. Even though basically anything goes at my office (people wear joggers, leggings, basically anything but full-on shorts), I still like feeling put-together and professional in hot weather. Waterfall moto-style jackets or cute blazers are usually my thing for that “third piece” look.
To give you an idea of my style, I’m 5’4″, pear-shaped, and I usually wear oversized blazers with skinny jeans, midi dresses, dressy drawstring pants with more fitted tops, or lighter-wash straight leg jeans with a blouse tucked in.
I have my transitional wardrobe figured out, but I’m at a loss in summer. Help!
JS
Fun! How about some Old Navy tshirt swing dresses with denim jackets and Madewell courier shirts with boyfriend jeans (or light skinny jeans). Mules keep your toes covered but are still more breathable than full flats.
pugsnbourbon
A paperbag-waist pant! I’m having fun pairing my new ones with fitted 3/4 sleeve striped shirts.
Abbie
Uniqlo has really good quality linen shirts every year around this time. The cut of this year’s crop didn’t work as well for me as some previous years, but I did end up keeping one in a really fun color. Once they go on sale, they are basically the same price as a t-shirt.
Sephora Sale Haul
OK ladies, let’s share what we bought – give each other some ideas. I dida few separate orders in order to optimize points for new status discounts. So you’ll see lots of samples below. I also had some gift cards to use.
I was the one who posted about getting ready at the gym before work so I ended up buying lots of things I already have to keep in my workout bag:
Already use:
– NARS Sheer glow foundation (Vienna)
– Soy Fresh Facial Cleanser Mini
– NARS blush (orgasm)
– NARS bronzer/blush duo (laguna/orgasm)
– Anastasia Clear Brow Gel
– Anastasia Brush #7b
– Anastasia Brow powder duo (medium brown)
– ANastasia brow wiz (medium brown)
– NARS radiant creamy concealer (creme brulee)
– Sephora Collection Bright future color correctors (03 Pink)
New to me:
-Charlotte Tilbury Matte Revolution Lipstick (pillowtalk)
– MILK Makeup Kush High Volume Mascara
Bonus/Samples:
– Sunday RIley A+ High Dose Retinol Serum (100 pt bonus – SUPER excited to try)
– Fresh soy face cleanser x2 (100 pt bonus – I use this every day and always get the minis for travel)
– buxom Wanderlust Primer-Infused Blush in Dolly and Mykonos (sample)
– Obagi Kinetin+ Rejuvenating Serum (sample)
– Sephora Collection Mud Mask Purifying & Mattifying (sample)
– SEPHORA COLLECTION Colorful Clay Mask (sample)
Anon
Fun! I’m a huge makeup lover myself, it’s nice to see another on here who is into it as well. I bought in person about a week ago so trying to remember –
– Fenty Beauty foundation (my new love)
– Beauty Blender Opal Essence primer (really liking so far)
– NARS blush
– Laura Mercier under eye brightening powder
– Laura Mercier face illuminator highlighter
– Anastasia Beverly Hills Sultry palette (getting discontinued…I’m really bad at using it though. Something is off for me. I have very fair skin so maybe that’s it)
– Benefit lash primer
– Dior Diorshow mascara
– Tarte double take eyeliner
– Tarte clay paint eyeliner
– Living Proof Restore shampoo & conditioner
– Laneige lip glowy balm (their lip sleeping mask is amazing)
CoastalCanuck
Wow! Wasn’t really in *need* of anything so just popped in for a Sephora brand ultra-shine lip gloss in Marshmallow. After using Buxom, Clinique, and a few other brands of lip gloss and finding them either too sticky or too tingly due to a plumping effect, I think my new favourite is actually Sephora brand – go figure. Just the right amount of sheerness vs colour and wear long enough if I’m not drinking coffee or tea too aggressively.
anon
Late in the day on a Friday…has anyone sold on Poshmark? Experience please…is it even worth the time?
AZCPA
I’ve sold quite a bit. and its a mixed bag. High end and distinct items do well (true designer bags like LV, Chloe, etc as well as vintage sneakers and coats and NWT items) but for “regular” clothes like a year old Ann Taylor top, I don’t feel like its worth the effort. Their fee is high – 20%. And their buyer and seller protections are lousy. As a buyer, I had them ruin a Chloe bag in shipping and had to open a credit card dispute (during which they suspended by Poshmark account) to return it. As a seller, I had someone return something saying it wasn’t as described, but in fact it was, so a very frustrating experience.
anon
OK, I have a brand new item, never worn.mid price brand. I think I will just donate. Thank you for the feedback, this is very helpful and what I thought may be the case.
Peach
In contrast to the other posts, I have had a great experience selling on Poshmark. I have made several hundred dollars, and it is fun to sell and negotiate. I think it is more entertaining than significantly profitable, though. You have to have reasonable expectations about what your items are worth and be willing to significantly lower the price to make a sale. The buyer has to pay shipping ($6.79) and Poshmark takes its cut. So, you have to keep in mind what it will cost the buyer when pricing your items, and the buyers are there to get bargains. I also found Poshmark useful from a shopping standpoint when I recently changed clothing sizes. I pretty much needed an entirely new wardrobe, and it was nice to find some pieces that I already had and loved in another size.
Anonymous
I agree with this. I’ve had fun selling and think of it more as a hobby that happens to make me a little bit of money. I’ve sold a lot and only had one issue with a buyer trying to return something, and even that ended up going pretty smoothly. Selling does take a bit of work, with photographing, listing, and shipping and when I only had a few items posted it took a while to make my first sale (several weeks). If you only have a few items you’re interested in selling, how you’d do probably depends a lot on the brand/item. Some things move really quickly and others can just sit and sit and sit (mostly mall brand things for me like BR, Loft).
I’ve found buying to be a bit more of a gamble. I’ve found some really good deals, but 50% of the time the item arrives smelling overwhelmingly of thrift store.
Anon for this
I just learned a close-ish co-workers father is ill, and didn’t realize this is why she has been away this week. We exchange small gifts or treats here and there, but do not socialize outside of work. I usually email her/ text her, and would like to send a ‘thinking of you’ email that shows concerns, but is not too intrusive.
Can someone help me with a script? I am googling, and receiving condolence type scripts, but this is not the stage he is at yet. Thank you.
AnonInfinity
I think a short and simple message (I would send via text) is best. In these situations, I typically send something like, “I just learned that your father is ill. Your family will be in my thoughts–please let me know if I can help with anything at all.” Sometimes I’ll add, “No need to respond; just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you.”
Anon for this
Thank you — that is what I was looking for.
Tux
One of my dearest girlfriends just went through a gut-wrenching break-up with her girlfriend. She is attending a gala next weekend that her ex will be attending as well. My friend wants to wear a tux to the gala, and I want her to look and feel like an absolute rock star. I’ve promised to help her find an amazing tux, but I’m not sure where to begin. My friend was thinking of just renting a tux for a guy in a smaller size, but I’m sure there are great options out there of which we are not aware. Any suggestions for places to look (online or in person) for a tux for a woman?
Tux2
If money is no object, Saint Laurent. If money is an object, I think I’ve seen a few pieces that would fit the bill at Nordstrom recently.
Anonymous
+1
I’d also look at Boss and I think I saw one that looked good at Brooks Brothers.
Tux2
I also just saw on on Ba-sh that is a jumpsuit, but looks really chic!
JS
Asos! You’ll have to dig a bit to find the matching pieces but they are great for inexpensive event-wear including really cool edgy tuxes. https://us.asos.com/women/suits-separates/cat/?cid=13632&nlid=ww|clothing|shop+by+product
https://us.asos.com/new-look/new-look-satin-tux-blazer-in-silver/prd/10905054?
https://us.asos.com/new-look/new-look-satin-tux-pants-in-silver/prd/10905064
Azera
Oh that metallic suit you linked is fierce!
Pep
I came across a site called “hertuxedo” – but it looks to be sales only (not sure if you were looking for rental)
Anon
Oooh, look in the APW archives because I know they’ve had sponsored posts from companies that make suits and tuxes for women.
Monte
Farfetch has several. If she is a size 8 or smaller, this is the one I’d pick: https://www.farfetch.com/shopping/women/lagence-classic-tuxedo-blazer-item-13988765.aspx?storeid=9423
Anon
Anne Hathaway and Blake Lively both wore gorgeous Ralph Lauren tuxedos at NYFW last fall
Inspired By Hermione
I bought a pair of sneakers from Amazon and when I first put them on, they seemed like they fit. I’ve worn them for about three hours now and my heel keeps slipping, even with tightening them.If I wear them rest of today (I don’t have any other shoes to change into…) and return them, is that going to be OK? I usually would never return shoes I’ve worn for a full day but these seemed fine when I first wore them and it’s only after wearing them that they don’t work. I know it’s kind of a jerk move…
Inspired By Hermione
I bought a pair of shoes from the online retailer that starts with an A (…first try here went into the abyss). When I first tried them, they fit. It’s about three hours later and my heel slips. They’re just slightly too big, even with adjusting laces (sneakers). If I wear them the rest of the day and return them, is that going to be a problem for refund? Dry day, just concrete. I know it’s not a great move…
Inspired by Hermione
I’ve tried to post this twice from my work computer which is apparently not allowed. Ugh.
I bought a pair of shoes on (big online retailer starting with A). They fit when I tried them on this AM but after about four hours they’re clearly slightly too big. Will they be refunded? Dry day, worn them on concrete only. Usually wouldn’t even try because I wore them but I know the return policy on A-zon is pretty lenient.
Anon
I would try. If they don’t accept them, they will just let you know about three weeks later, and ship it back in a month.
Is this what burnout feels like?
I hate my job. I hate most people here too. I’ve gone through all the stages of grief and now just CANNOT make myself care. Or seek work (I do what I get). Or push myself in any way. I am interviewing but I’m also on the billable hour and have no guarantee I’ll be out soon, so I need to care until I can leave. Help?
Anon
Are you in a financial position to quit? That sounds like your next step if it’s doable. Otherwise, commiseration. I hate the billable hour in situations like this.
Anon
You need a vacation or some time off (mental health day). Get your mind off it completely for a bit, then reassess.
Anon
I would also schedule some mental health screening and treatment, if appropriate (maybe start with your PCP? or if you’re comfortable, jump straight to a psychiatrist?). I spent months thinking that I was being lazy but when I finally adjusted a med, my life had color again. Granted, I am not in a job I hate, but I was shocked at the difference–and I’m already a believer in mental health treatment. Just because you only have depression “because of” your crappy job doesn’t mean it’s not treatable, clinical depression. Hugs–hating work is the worst.
GCinFlats
Thank you for posting this, Anon. I’ve been in law nearly 20 years, have pretty much always hated it, still hate it, feel like I’m dying when I’m at work, but I always believe that this is just what I got for going into law and I should just buck up and endure it. Maybe before I’m 50 or retired I really should check out meds….. I can be completely and totally compassionate for others, but for myself, I think I’ve really been convinced for years that feeling like I’m dead at work (or hoping the job would just kill me and end this) was what I deserved and that it was just punishment (for not leaving the profession? for existing? IDK, could be either).
Ellen
Hugs. We have all been there. It’s Friday afternoon, and it’s been a long week. Rest if you can over the weekend, talk to family and see if you can escape for a day or 2 from the grind. I know it will get better for you as it did for me; but we all still get bad days, like I had yesterday, and I just got home @ 8:00 pm today. I am going to take a hot bath and then hop into bed and watch TV by 9:30 then go to catch up on my sleep. You should do the same and you will feel better in the morning.
CA Mom
I would quit.
Anon
Just bought the Revlon volumizing hair dryer based on the chatter on here! So excited to try it!
Anon
Ladies, what do you wear to get to the pool while on a business trip? I swam competitively as a kid and am considering picking it back up to get exercise while on business travel. Figure it saves suitcase space as compared to running shoes. And have heard the water may even help with jet lag. BUT I’m trying to figure out how to get from my room to the pool (via elevators etc) in a semi-professional way and without having to pack extra stuff. Help!
The Good Wife
Honestly, I usually just wear the hotel robe to the pool. I’ve done this alot, and I have yet to run into a client other than at the pool itself.
FMLA and my sanity
I’ve just started three months of FMLA while my mother is in hospice. Any suggestions for how to make sure I take care of myself physically, emotionally, etc? I’m in a small town and can’t leave for more than a couple hours at a time. My husband is here with me but other than that we are all on our own as all other family is in the UK. Any suggestions including podcasts, books, funny tv shows, easy workouts, are appreciated.
Webby
Two shows on Prime – Made In Heaven (Indian show but characters mostly converse in English) and Catastrophe.