Suit of the Week: Brooks Brothers

94 Comments

1. Timeline cleanse from this morning maybe – what is the best thing your spouse ever did for you? I’ll have to think about this…

   1. Omg, SO many things. To choose a recent example (obscuring some of the details for anonymity), a family member went through a totally unexpected and extreme mental health crisis and my husband was not only by my side the entire time, but actively going above and beyond to try to resolve what turned into a totally bizarre situation. Also, I’m a long-distance caregiver for an aunt with dementia and my husband does all her tech support, helped me clean out her entire cluttered townhouse and take 50+ bags to the dump, and so much more. He never keeps mental score of how he “helps” me – he just does it, again and again. The more he helps me, the more I want to help him and vice versa.

      Also, the bar is the floor for so many men when it comes to pregnancy/labor/postpartum but FWIW, I got about a hundred comments from nurses, my doula, and lactation consultant that my husband was special and above and beyond.

   2. In January 2001 my DH – then my fiancée – and I traveled through O’Hare airport. At that time pre-flight screening consisted of a random agent who had complete discretion in deciding who to pull aside. While waiting to board our flight, I noticed the young male officer (who looked to be under 25 y.o.) was “selecting” young women traveling alone. He made them spread their arms and legs to be wanded, and he opened and went through their rollaboards.

      “Get ready,” my DH said. “He’s going to pull you.”

      I replied that I wasn’t in his target group, being neither young nor alone, but sure enough the officer demanded that I stop and submit to screening.

      DH immediately appeared at my side, stood with arms and legs open, and said, “She’s with me, so you’ll screen me, too.”

      “But… but I didn’t ask to screen you!”

      “Are you saying you’re refusing to screen me?”

      The officer lost his bravado and had to reluctantly screen DH. Right then, I knew I was lucky to be marrying him. I feel the same 24 years later.

      1. Good for him. I actually do this all the time because my spouse/friends are people of color and I’m white … I just “obliviously” barge right into the extra screening line along with them (and it happens everywhere not just the airport) and if pressed say “we’re together.” I’m not sure if it’s the right move though because the staff could be screening someone else (but would that person be more deserving). And often no one understands why I’m doing this.

      2. I always think you’re lucky to have met someone great but wise to marry them. Good marriage doesn’t just “happen” – but I do feel bad for the many, many women who have every reason to think it will be a good marriage and then some nasty surprise comes up.

         1. As someone who is almost done divorcing the guy who was great on paper and a horrible husband, thank you for this.

   3. Oh I love this thread idea :)

      Nothing to add because I’m single, but looking forward to reading

   4. He buys me birthday presents he knows I want, but do not want to care for, and takes care of them for me. Think house plants, the bird buddy bird feeder, etc. Also does all my tech stuff without complaint.

   5. As a hyper independent, perfectionist eldest daughter allergic to asking for help, just anytime she takes something off my plate and handles it.

   6. My grandma is going through dementia and my husband has stayed with her for hours to support my aunt when she herself got ill, helping my grandmother with all sorts of personal caretaking, and has also taken care of our two kids for extended periods of time so I can do respite care for her, and then told me to take time for myself when I’m drained from respite. He also just handles the children when I’m on business travel, no questions.

      1. I think your last line is underrated. I know a lot of couples who really struggle with scorekeeping, resentment, or issues related to kid duty during business travel – definitely a big pain point for many and one not made easier by the stay-at-home parent greeting the returning parent frostily or anything like that.

   7. idk if this is the best, but when we had twin infants and i had terrible PPD/PPA, was crying all the time, and DH traveled a lot for work, he would tell me to leave the apartment so i could go for a walk alone or get a manicure while he did bedtime solo. i was truly ‘not myself’ for a while after our kids were born and he was generally very supportive

   8. For me it’s not really about grand gestures, it’s more showing up lovingly like… all the time. Like-

      -Can tell if I’m sleeping poorly and pulls me into my favorite nook even if he’d rather be the little spoon at the moment
      -Combs through hundreds of hotels and apartments when we travel (which is often; we typically take six trips a year varying from 4 to ~10 days in length) and shows me his top 10 for me to choose from – he always nails it!
      -Fully participates in running the household – daily tasks like meal planning, cooking, noting when stuff is running low / adding stuff to the list or online cart, periodic maintenance / finding and hiring pros, or fixing stuff – without me even having to whisper the phrase emotional labor
      -Is 100% Team Us – like if his mom is being whiny about something, he shuts it down
      -Since we have similar jobs, talks through work drama with me and helps me figure out what to do about it in a way that is not even remotely mansplaining

      1. +1 it’s small consistency that matters.

      2. Yup. My husband is really terrible at what I call “emotional initiative.” This includes things like surprise parties, gifts, and differentiating between the kind of bad day that needs a hug and the kind of bad day where I want to be left alone. But I can say “you are in charge of the dishes” and I can count on one hand the number of times I have had to wash the dishes in the past 2 years. Same with car maintenance, cleaning bathrooms, etc. I can tell him “tell me I’m pretty” or “I need reassurance that things will work out” or whatever else and he does fantastically. And it genuinely doesn’t bother me that we always buy our own gifts for birthdays and Christmas because we always get exactly what we want.

   9. Today, came to my office to change my flat tire and take my car to get a new one.

   10. Supported me through my cancer treatments. I didn’t realize how much he loved me until that point.

   11. He managed my ileostomy during cancer treatment. He handled every detail and hurdle from the surgery that established it until the surgery reversing it.

       There are so many other things he does for our family that are wonderful, but I can’t imagine many people who would handle literal poop in such a caring and selfless way.

       1. I had hyperemesis while I was pregnant with our daughter, and my husband took care of multiple bags of vomit every day for nine months.

       2. +1. My husband helped me with my specialty medication infusion every single month, including needles and everything.

          1. +1

       3. Solidarity from another colorectal cancer patient

   12. Like others, I have trouble thinking of big momentous things, as it is the daily showing up that means so much. But I will never forget how he supported me in labor during the birth of our son. I can barely remember the useless doula, but I remember him basically hugging me, holding me upright as I pushed, and telling me he had a dream that I could do it even when I thought it was too hard (he later confessed this was a lie and it was actually a dream about weightlifting). I just felt like I could 100% rely on him.

   13. In early pandemic days my mother was diagnosed with stage IV cancer. I was a mess, feeling like I couldn’t travel to her because I didn’t want to give her covid on top of everything else. He immediately said let’s drive there – 2,000 miles away – and when do we leave? She died the day after we got there, and I know that without his decisiveness I wouldn’t have seen her.

       1. Omg, this just made my heart skip a beat. I could have totally been in your shoes. Sometimes you just need the spouse to make it happen for you when you’re facing something emotionally difficult that comes with tough logistics.

       2. ❤️❤️❤️

   14. All the small things – like surprising me on a long summer run by biking to meet me with cold Gatorade and taking my mom’s calls when he knows I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with her.

   15. Its hard for me to think of something specific because he truly just shows up for me all the time and is so calm and collected when I am not. He quit his job and moved states for me so we could end the long distance part of our relationship before we got engaged; he knew I was in my dream job and he wasn’t. One day I’ll repay the favor.

   16. – Our combined taxes every year for the last 20 years (I cant stand doing it).
       – Bedtime routine every night with both of our kids for the last 10 years (younger one is 10 now but she still likes daddy bedtime, it includes a song sometimes).
       – Running the dishwasher and putting dinner leftovers in the fridge every night.
       – Buying me my first Fitbit 5 years ago which was the best gift ever and I am now obsessed with staying healthy and steps and active minutes.

   17. Love this prompt!

       There isn’t one thing, because he’s not into big gestures. He just shows up for us over and over.

       We promised never to roll our eyes at each other, and he hasnt in 20+ years. Even when we are being really irritating to each other.

       He never interrupts me and is reasonable and even-keeled.

       We both work tough jobs and are tried at the end of the day. He makes dinner for our fussy-to-feed family every night by default. (This is such a gift!!).

       He always does his own laundry and picks up after himself and doesn’t play video games. He’s a full-grown man.

       Without complaint or a single hiccup, he has taken full ownership of the children’s dentist/ orthodontist appts, making the appts and taking them, and also makes sure all the proper forms are filled at school. Same with the re-enrollment forms.

       He plans our vacations once we’ve chosen together where we want to go.

       He is supportive and funny and playful about everyday things. I love that he’ll slightly alter a store’s name or something just to make me laugh, or leave me a sweet note on my laptop.

       He’s just so good and consistent at being a team together, and the little things add up and those are the best.

   18. I’m at my mom’s house for several weeks, helping her recover from surgery (I had a very tough childhood with times of estrangement and she hasn’t gotten easier with age, so the stress has been through the roof). He knew I had next to no sleep and had a work project pushover that was supposed to wrap before my trip but didn’t, so I would be pulling an all-nighter (long story, but my job is hanging on getting this project right and will be visible to my entire network). I came back from a long day at the hospital to find he Door Dashed me a Keurig machine and coffee (she had nothing in the house even though the surgery was planned). I seriously could have cried. He shows up for big things and small all the time. But it was like a signal of solidarity that meant the world and from a practical perspective was insanely helpful. For the record, he has gotten me chocolate cake on my birthday even though he likes chocolate and I don’t. I bought my own cake this year and he surprised me by remembering not to get chocolate for once. So I think I like him more since I enjoyed two cakes.

   19. So many things. I came home from a work trip with the flu and I was so sick I could only sleep and hydrate. He was exhausted from a week of solo parenting but he took care of me until I was well.

   20. He treats my brother who suffers with schizoaffective disorder like an equal man instead of like a mental health patient. He routinely bar-b-ques for him and they have wings and watch sports. Never one complaint when I give my brother money. If I died, I know my brother will be cared for.

2. If neither Brooks Brothers nor Boden fit me, what is my issue with them? I’m 5-4 and have a stomach but really the bottom area never fits in BB and the stomach area always make me look like I have a uterine secret brewing. Currently a size 10 in Banana (ideally a 10 “curvy”), but this was an issue even when I was a 6. Am I also short of torso? Or is my rise weird? [I also now have an issue where Talbots pants won’t fit — too much cloth in the stomach and not enough in the seat.]

   I’d love a seersucker item from BB, but fear it will just be a sad outing to the local store or mail order roulette. And does anyone else really sell seersucker for women these days?

   1. You need to stick with brands that work for you. If Banana fits then try the other brands in the same corporate family. And ask people who love Banana for their other favorite brands.

   2. It’s early yet for seersucker. BB and Talbots will both have it.

   3. Too much cloth in the stomach may mean the rise is too high. You might want to try real petite sizes – not just shorter, but scaled to petites. Talbots carries petites.

      I’m not quite 5’4” and I find that for some Boden dresses, Talls fit me better. I ordered a Tall size because I wanted a longer garment (they have actual garment measurements on their website) and found that the Tall fit me better all over. Kind of weird, but it did. Conversely, I have been ordering dresses in petite from Loft because lately their midi dresses skim the floor for me.

      So, I’m sorry to say finding clothes, especially pants that fit may require trying several different sizes; regular, petites, talls; and different brands, because each brand will fit a little differently.

   4. Fit for pants is HARD. If you want to learn more, google “how to fix a pants pattern” to find resources for people sewing pants. You’ll read all about what kinds of pattern shapes cause which fit issues, and how to fix them. For a quicker idea, take a pair of pants that fits you really well, and turn them inside out, then put the two legs together. Look at the curve of the seam for the rise. And the length of that seam, and how how the leg line is shaped through the hips and thighs. This is the shape of a pants pattern that fits your shape. Then do the same with a pair of pants that doesn’t fit, and you’ll see the pattern lines that don’t fit you.

   5. JCrew/JCrew Factory usually has seersucker. Also Land’s End but I think their fit is similar to BB. Agree that it might be early in the season.

   6. Try other brands! Brooks Brothers pants give me a pooch at the 4 sizes I’ve been in their clothing. JCrew however works great for me. You’re early for seersucker to be in stores.

      It could be that like me, you’re short but also long-waisted (sometimes jokingly described as a human corgi) and so you need tall sizes but hemming to get a good fit. Pet-te sizes never have a long enough rise for me and so the waistband hits at the hip.

   7. Boden never fits me – try vince. and jcrew.

   8. This high-rise era has been brutal with too much fabric in the stomach area, while not having enough in the butt and thighs.

   9. I’m 5’11 and short-waisted and Boden fits me through the torso perfectly, often in regular (but for short arms/legs). They are a tall/lithe/no hips brand, but short-waisted brand. That said, sometimes where they cut the waist on certain jersey dresses also makes me look pregnant–those cuts do not poof on rail-thin Size 2s but they do on me. I love Boden A-lines though.

      I do not think Boden does petites very well.

3. Were youth sports always this insane and I have no idea because I’m from a small town? I loved casual sports and athletics as a kid and intramural sports in college and love to play anything that will have me when time permits. It’s always enhanced my life. But how it is now, I would feel so much pressure as a kid and as an adult, will I have to quit my job or have a sports / activities nanny for driving my kids to things like this? The only people I’m aware of (from the picture in their xmas cards) are well off enough to pay for college without scholarships and the mom doesn’t work (but with two kids who do wrestling, field hockey, volleyball, and lacrosse, you can’t be everywhere at once).

   1. the problem is that they often start casually, but then kids are forced to specialize wayyyy too early. and especially if you aren’t a natural athlete (like my kids are not) and some kids start taking baseball lessons, etc., then it’s very hard to keep up if and becomes not fun for the kid if you are the worst on the team. i know people often complain about participation trophies…but honestly, i think having playoffs and standings for sports in lower elementary school is just as bad. i have two kids playing rec level softball – we don’t do out of state tournaments or tournaments across the state, but even for rec level, one has a game on friday evening and another game on saturday and the other has a double header on saturday with the games in different locations. DH and I will divide and conquer for the second games on saturdays, but during softball season we don’t get much family time. for the boys baseball ‘rec league’ it is worse – the girls have 2-3 touches a week, but the boys have 3-5. most kids (including my own) also do other activities.

      1. We found that the extremely poor quality of rec offerings led to early specialization. My daughter was a gymnast. All the gyms in our area pull most kids with any focus and interest in the sport to preteam within the first year of rec classes. The gym where she started would invite some kids to preteam within the first month. Rec classes therefore ended up populated with kids who ran wild, pushed each other off the beam, and otherwise goofed around. Combine that with the fact that the rec coaches never taught much so the rec kids had no chance of skills progression, and the only feasible option for a kid who was there to learn and have fun was to go to preteam. The increased prominence of the XCel “recreational” competitive program has intensified the problem.

         1. This tracks with my daughter’s gymnastics experience, too. (She’s no longer in gymnastics.)

            1. But this seems to be a symptom and not the cause.

            2. I am the poster at 3:43. If there had been a decent rec class available my daughter probably would not have demanded to specialize so early, or we would have been able to resist the demand. It’s a negative feedback loop. Kids leave rec for team because the rec classes are no good, so the rec classes get even worse and there is even more incentive to go to team.

      2. How do you manage the logistics and two jobs? I wouldn’t have tried this when single / no kids. Maybe I played tennis once in the evening and hiked once on Saturday. Maybe I met a friend for dinner. City driving made anything dodgy, timing-wise. I don’t know how people do it.

      3. In my area, if you want any kind of real coaching and instruction, you have to move on from rec within a year or two and join a club team. It really stinks. And it weeds out the kids who like a sport but don’t love it enough to dedicate three nights a week to practice and tournaments every weekend. Some of the clubs have made “club-lite” versions of their offerings that are less intense, but it’s still a much larger time and financial commitment than rec.

         The other thing that we ran into is that around middle school, kids look down on their peers who aren’t in a club, which discourages them from even wanting to continue, even though the option is technically available.

         I don’t know. I guess I’m glad that my kids are only moderately athletic and don’t seem to have the drive to do more, because I have such issues with how youth sports are run these days.

   2. I am not going to bite on defending every arrow that is hurled at youth sports, but having had 3 kids in 3 year-around sports, and friends with kids in different sports, I can confidently say that very, very few sports parents are under any illusion about scholarship opportunities for their kids. The parents know, more than almost anyone, who is likely to get college money and who is not. We’re not all walking around thinking Little Johnny is getting a full ride + NIL money to be a third-string catcher at a big SEC school. (And I did have a kid with a full scholarship to a mid-major D1.) In other words, with very few exceptions, college scholarships are not why our kids are in sports. Competitive sports, like music, art, dance, debate or whatever your kids do have benefits other than potential scholarships.

      1. I see it more as if you play water polo, you may get into a school that otherwise wouldn’t look at you, even as a vanilla swimmer. Or get into a D3 school because of athletics. Sort of the e back door into SLACs.

      2. I agree. Sports can also be (gasp) fun for the whole family.

      3. I’m not anti-sports, but I am against how early the arms race begins. Often, it becomes about how much $$ the parents are willing to pay, and which kids grow fastest. I’m glad your kids are having fun, though.

   3. In general I think it’s more intense now.

      But personally, I was a serious figure skater growing up (not “training for the Olympics” level but only a couple steps down from that) and very few things can match that in terms of cost and time commitment, so I’m not fazed by travel ball. We do plan to hold off until upper elementary, I think age 10/5th grade is the earliest we’d consider anything like travel and it would have to be kid-led.

   4. I think it’s pretty regional and cultural. We live in a college town and intense sports are not a big thing here. We know a few people who do travel sports but it’s super rare, especially for girls. We know far more kids on an intense music/arts track. Our high school is tiny and for girls at least you can make the varsity team in pretty much any sport except maybe soccer coming from rec leagues. Softball has surged in popularity recently, but 3 or 4 years ago our high school didn’t have cuts on varsity because they had so few people interested in trying out.

      Rec goes through middle school at least in most sports. We also have select leagues that involve a tryout so they’re more intense than rec but nothing like travel sports. The most time-intensive activity my 8 year old has done so far is theatre, despite also doing two team sports (softball and basketball).

   5. I grew up in a medium sized city and my household completely opted out of sports. My parents simply refused. They had full time jobs and there was a zero per cent chance that they were shuffling us around to anything.

   6. Another former figure skater here whose parents spent much of the 90s shuttling her back and forth to rinks. I don’t think it is per se more intense that it was back then. The difference is that travelling for sports in the 90s was reserved for just the very elite kids – like only one travel hockey, soccer, etc. team per area. Now, as long as the parents are willing to pay the kids can be on a travel team. Also, minimal parental involvement was a lot more acceptable back then and kids could walk home alone, chill out at the rink, play at the playground until parents got off work.

   7. I agree it’s crazy. I have a sports obsessed kid. Our solution is to resist specializing in one sport. Right now his basketball coaches want him in another basketball league, but basketball is strictly winter for us. We figure it’s better for his physical and mental well being to play different sports every season. Baseball, golf, flag football and basketball all in their appropriate seasons. Will this keep him off elite club teams? Probably. But it’s healthier I really think. Also it’s helpful that flag football is sort of obviously just for fun and that golf is competitive but individual. So we opt out of tournaments whenever it doesn’t work for our family.
      We also managed to dodge lacrosse, which, at least in our area, seems extremely intense.

      Finally, the piece of this that no one’s mentioned is what a predatory racket it is. I think people are making tons of money off of the dreams of kids and the hopes of parents. Maybe very few people think their kid will get a scholarship when their kid takes up the sport. But Joey’s pretty good and he might make this team if he does this clinic. And one coach knows another and the kids on that team actually do go to great schools with money and…well I just see how it escalates. Plus by the time they’re in middle school the whole family is invested because the travel team has been a good chunk of your family’s social life and circle.

      1. I think your last paragraph is spot on. It’s all an industry. The fact that the less competitive leagues/sports suck isn’t an accident. It’s because there is no money in it, and the cycle perpetuates, period, end of story.

      2. To your first paragraph, it’s crazy that diversification is not something more coaches encourage. I listen to a lot of NFL podcasts and there’s one common thread when good, even great, pro players talk about their paths to the NFL: playing everything that can when they were kids. One former center said it was wrestling that taught him about leverages, enabling himto block effectively. A receiver said his time as a basketball player taught him how to look for the ball in tight lanes. Like anything, they brought past experiences into situations and were able to apply it well. Plus, using different muscles in different ways lessens the risk of overuse injuries.

4. What do you wish you knew before you went in-house? Or why do you stay in private practice?

   1. I wish I had better understood that my internal clients wanted a good-enough answer, not the perfect answer. Also that bureaucracy and internal politics are an issue, that depending on your area of focus you may end up bored, that administrative support will be significantly less, and that your budget for the research resources you need to do your job properly will be tight. On the other hand, I wish I had known what a relief it would be to no longer live life in 6-minute increments and to completely disconnect during weekends and vacations. When my in-house job went away, I ended up back in private practice because I missed the challenge of really sophisticated legal issues – and on that side, I wish I had known sooner that not all firms operate the way my first firm did.

      1. +1

         I love having my life back and mental peace, but I do miss the challenge of really sophisticated legal issues, and my brilliant firm colleagues.

   2. I wish I would’ve gone in house earlier. Yes the first couple of years were a step back in pay, but I caught back up with annual raises, bonuses and stock grants. I do not miss tracking hours, making up time for every vacation, and endless business development pressure. I miss working with some of my law firm colleagues who are among the smartest people I know.

   3. I wish I knew how much group work there is (although this probably varies a lot). And meetings. Collaboration. How much of your work is entirely dependent on other people and those people are not lawyers. It is challenging and frustrating in different ways. From time to time I miss being an independent worker with more control over information access and flow, quality, my time and attention. At my org, everyone has access to the legal department, which can be a lot. I went from working with (mostly) sophisticated, highly-motivated self-starters to a lot of people who simply are not, and yet my work depends on them. Also, other departments pushing things that are not your responsibility onto legal. Lawyers are smart, hardworking, and take responsibility for decisions and getting things done. That may be true but that doesn’t mean I know xyz process or need to spend my time getting such and such task done. People in my org love to push aspects of their work onto us and it can be tough to push back on. Think about your tolerance for this.

      This depends greatly on the company and role, but you might find yourself farming out all the interesting work to outside counsel, and you might miss some of it. (But you might be willing to give that up if it means you are no longer doing the interesting work on the weekends.)

      I’ll also add… times when your priorities as a lawyer don’t align with the company’s. You see a compliance concern but senior leadership doesn’t want to address or prioritize it for Reasons? Okay, that’s that. There’s only so much you can make the case without putting your job in jeopardy. Are you okay with seeing your clients make decisions you don’t think are wise? Will those choices go against your values? It’s difficult to assess the extent to which this will be an issue before you get in that particular environment, but it’s very different from private practice where if your client disregards your advice, you’re more insulated from the consequences and can move on to another client.

      Lots of people say in in-house interviews that they “love the idea of working for just one client so they can see projects through” blah blah blah. Yeah, you just have one client, so you better hope you like that client and that they like your advice.

      I would go in house again, but it’s a whole different world. So much more than just “oh I hate billing and like the business side!”

   4. It’s way easier to go in as a 3-7 year associate and be trained up to what they want you to be. Jobs for first time in-house lawyers are a lot harder to find after that point.
      You will have to consider a lot of non-law issues and how those affect the business, which makes for a much more multidimensional analysis.
      Maybe just where I’ve worked, but a lot of the staff don’t have as high standards as a law firm. Even if I say “please print and sign this, then scan me a copy” – one or more of those steps is overlooked…

   5. I wish I’d understood how much worse the money is. It’s not just the start; it’s also the trajectory. I’m in a specialty that companies need but doesn’t really have a path to GC.

5. If you have a dog, what do you do with their waste? my husband was throwing the bags in the corner of the garage because they stunk up the larger garbage bins, but then we had windstorms last week and numerous bags were blowing around so… yeah.

   1. City solutions – a diaper genie, or a mini trash can that sits behind a flowerpot and that you empty into your main trash bag on garbage day.

   2. Put poop bag in outside trash can. The outside trash cans stink, but they’re outside trashcans and I’d rather them stink than the garage.

      1. Yep. We save plastic bags specifically to double bag the poops, which helps a ton in keeping the odors at bay, too.

         1. This is what we do. Double bag and toss it in the big garbage cart outside. The rotting kitchen garbage in there smells worse than the dog mess. And the lid does a decent job of containing the stench,

   3. When I lived in the suburbs and had a bigger yard, I hired a service that picked it up and disposed of it. It was worth it to me and not very expensive. Now, I live in a city with a tiny yard and alley dumpsters for trash, so I just take the bags out to the dumpster either right away or after I’ve collected a few in a flower pot.

   4. Does your city have industrial compost? Ours takes dog poop

   5. You can be like my ex and think that it should stay on the grass in the backyard because it “goes away/goes into the ground/becomes fertilizer” (yes, I commented about this here roughly 2 years ago)

      1. Haha, I totally remember that post. Is that why he’s now your ex?

         1. It’s among many reasons!

      2. My husband thought this too until some animals got into it. Now it just goes into our big garage trash can.

   6. It goes in the garbage. Our cans are outside and we just pop it in there. In public cans if we’re out walking.

   7. We have some wooded space on our property. Dog ideally poops there where it is left. That happens maybe 60% of the time. The rest of the time he poops on the edge of the woods and it needs scooping. If I do it while out puttering in the yard, I bury it in the woods. After the dreaded winter thaw, I bagged (all 40lbs of) it and put it in the trash.

   8. My sister flushes it down her toilet.

6. With the caveat that yes, I know DC at spring break is a terrible idea, but we’re doing it anyway, so …

   DC folks, any must-visit spots for a 15yo boy who’s into photography, bass guitar, and punk music? He wants to visit Arlington National Cemetery, and we’ll be visiting some museums too, but those are more my thing than his/his dad’s. We are comfortable just walking around a cool neighborhood and seeing what we find, but I’d love to have some targeted ideas.

   1. What kind of photography is he into? There are great cityscapes across the city – just start walking, off the regular tourist paths. Some options include: Blagden Alley/U Street area; Embassy Row (along Mass Ave NW from Dupont Circle to National Cathedral); Old Town Alexandria; the Wharf area (Maine Ave SW); Eastern Market (Pennsylvania Ave SE from 6th St east). For music – see what’s on at the Anthem, Black Cat, Pearl Street Warehouse, DC9, and of course the 930 club.

   2. Why is spring break in DC a terrible idea? School trips? We went with dd’s several years ago when they were about that age, and had a great time. My rec: get bike share bikes (like Citibikes; I forget what DC calls them) at the Mall and bike from monument to monument. Bikes are a good way to take in the breadth, and there are some good photography opportunities there

      1. Yeah I was going to say I think it’s a good time of year to go! Mild weather and not too crowded.

         1. As someone who has lived in DC for 15 years, spring is the most crowded time of year. Between all the school groups, people visiting the cherry blossoms, and general family trips, the city is overrun. I don’t know when you came that you found it not crowded.

   3. We wandered into the DC Canal Lockhouse completely unintentionally on our last visit and got an awesome rundown from the docent on the structure, tons of local history, and other related sights to see. Highly recommend.

   4. This is very random but the REI in NoMa has a wall of punk show posters he might enjoy popping into if you’re in NoMa for another reason.

   5. For punk: Smash records store in AdMo or Joint Custody on U st.; he might want to go to a concert at Black Cat, Songbyrd, Pie Shop, or 9:30/Atlantis. There’s also a small music studio practice spot called 7drumcity that hosts super small concerts for upstart musicians. That might feel more “underground”.
      If he’s interested in photographing skateboarders there’s a usually a gaggle at Freedom Plaza on Penn Ave or Shaw Skate park on 11th st.
      For Photography exhibitions, there’s 2 on show at the Portrait Gallery: one B&W of silver screen celebs and one for a teen photography exhibition.

      1. Oh! And there’s a great exhibit on DC punk history and Activism at MLK library. If the weather is nice, the rooftop is also worth checking out. https://www.dclibrary.org/people

   6. If you have a car, go to Udvar-Hazy out by Dulles Airport. It’s the Air and Space Museum extension and it is an unfathomably huge hangar with a you-can’t even-imagine number of planes from all eras of aviation. One of the coolest places I’ve ever been and I’m not a plane nut. For crying out loud they have a space shuttle and a whole spaceflight room inside the hangar and that alone is worth it.

7. I’m at my mom’s house for several weeks, helping her recover from surgery (I had a very tough childhood with times of estrangement and she hasn’t gotten easier with age, so the stress has been through the roof). He knew I had next to no sleep and had a work project pushover that was supposed to wrap before my trip but didn’t, so I would be pulling an all-nighter (long story, but my job is hanging on getting this project right and will be visible to my entire network). I came back from a long day at the hospital to find he Door Dashed me a Keurig machine and coffee (she had nothing in the house even though the surgery was planned). I seriously could have cried. He shows up for big things and small all the time. But it was like a signal of solidarity that meant the world and from a practical perspective was insanely helpful. For the record, he has gotten me chocolate cake on my birthday even though he likes chocolate and I don’t. I bought my own cake this year and he surprised me by remembering not to get chocolate for once. So I think I like him more since I enjoyed two cakes.

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