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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Long-Sleeve Knit Moto Jacket

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A woman with brown hair wearing a white shirt, black jacket, and blue jeans (legs cropped out)

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Looking for something that’s got a little more personality than a cardigan, but isn’t quite as dressy as a blazer? Found it! This knit moto jacket from The Drop at Amazon would layer nicely with a business casual or WFH outfit, and it comes in a wide range of sizes.

It’s part of Amazon’s limited edition collections designed by influencers. This one comes from Caralyn Mirand, who is a great Instagram follow if you’re interested in mid- and plus-sized fashion, well-fitting bras, or adorable dogs.

The jacket is $49.90 and comes in sizes XXS–5X. It also comes in navy and olive green.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 4/24/25:

  • Nordstrom – 7,710 new markdowns for women!
  • Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event: 30% off your entire purchase, including 100s of new arrivals
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off
  • Boden – 25% off everything (ends 4/27) (a rare sale!)
  • The Fold – Up to 25% off
  • Eloquii – Spring Clearance: Up to 75% off + extra 50-60% off sale
  • J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Up to 60% off sale styles + up to 50% off summer-ready styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 50% off clearance + extra 15% off $100 + extra 20% off $125
  • Kule – Lots of sweaters up to 50% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – 3 pieces for $198. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 50% off last chance styles; new favorites added
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Friends & Family Event: 30% off entire purchase, includes markdowns

Sales of note for 4/24/25:

  • Nordstrom – 7,710 new markdowns for women!
  • Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event: 30% off your entire purchase, including 100s of new arrivals
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off
  • Boden – 25% off everything (ends 4/27) (a rare sale!)
  • The Fold – Up to 25% off
  • Eloquii – Spring Clearance: Up to 75% off + extra 50-60% off sale
  • J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Up to 60% off sale styles + up to 50% off summer-ready styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 50% off clearance + extra 15% off $100 + extra 20% off $125
  • Kule – Lots of sweaters up to 50% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – 3 pieces for $198. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 50% off last chance styles; new favorites added
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Friends & Family Event: 30% off entire purchase, includes markdowns

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

363 Comments

  1. Is anyone treating migraines with Botox? Wondering whether the injections will give the added bonus of helping with aging lines or are the injections not really in the same places you would get them for cosmetic reasons?
    I used to get migraines only around my period but seem to be getting them more often. My headache doctor had mentioned at an appointment last year that there are preventative meds I can take but I didn’t like the idea of regularly taking meds as opposed to treating as needed. Currently taking treximet but sometimes I will get a migraine the day after taking it which didn’t happen before. Appreciate hearing what has worked for anyone!

    1. I think Senior Attorney posted about this? Paging Senior Attorney!

      I have a friend becoming an aesthetic nurse (she’s already a nurse but changing gears) and apparently there are different injection sites depending on what sort of migraines you get, so it may depend on the type of migraines you get.

      1. I got Botox for teeth-grinding and it didn’t do much for that, but yes! I look great! LOL Unfortunately can’t speak to Botox for migraines.

    2. I’ve been getting migraines since I was 10 (32 now). From what I understand Botox is not a front-line defense against migraines, more for those who have already gone through all the typical treatments and still haven’t gotten relief. I don’t think it’s terribly effective for most people either.

      I’d recommend trying another triptan — sumatriptan gives me rebound headaches but rizatriptan doesn’t, for instance.

      There’s also an approach that involves meditation and changing your thinking to treat pain, which some people says works better than any medication. Personally I’ve found some relief but it’s much more work than taking the drugs. The Curable app is what I use for that.

      Hope you find some relief, migraines suck.

      1. I love the mention of meditation, although I completely agree that it’s a lot of work to really be effective. I did a 10 day silent meditation retreat through the Dhamma Center a few years ago and the founder of the organization (S.N. Goenka) actually sought out Vipassana meditation because of chronic migraines (you watch videos of S.N. Goenka during the retreat, that’s when he talks about it). That said, while I practice meditation daily, I get about one migraine a month and I use sumatriptan+Coke to treat it. Maybe if I’m feeling really ambitious I’ll meditate to try and release feelings of frustration/judgement against the pain – Vipassana is big on not judging sensation as good/bad but just allowing it to be what it is. it’s a healthier mindset, if not curative, in my experience.

        1. Oh thanks so much for this! I’ve only recently started meditating and feeling overwhelmed with all the options out there. Will definitely look into Vipassana.

    3. I’ve been doing it on and off for a few years (had to stop for pregnancies). You get some of the shots in your forehead so you get some benefit anti-aging but not really – there’s about 34-40 shots total (150-175 units) and most are in the back of the head, neck, jaw, and scalp. There are a few above the eyes and between the eyebrows that could have some anti-aging benefit. I found it really helpful. You usually don’t see full effects until the 2nd time but you will see some effect the first time (also, make sure you do exact 12 week intervals – not 3 months – for me those last few weeks at the 3 month interval were full of headaches) . This is my 3rd round this time and 3 weeks in I haven’t had a migraine yet (before I started again, I was having 15-18 per month-post partum hormone crash, return to work stress, hate my job stress, baby not sleeping through the night, etc. – some of that has changed but not enough to explain the drastic reduction).

      Also – I found that my pharmacy switched the supplier for the generic sumatripan and my headaches weren’t going away. I had to hunt down a pharamcy that still stocks the previous manufacturer and get a script for that generic manufacturer to keep from having the rebound headaches. Something about the new generic didn’t work for me (I know they say they’re all the same but it was the only thing that changed).

      And, if you get in a cycle of migraines that you can’t break and then you’re stuck trying to figure out if you’re havng a rebound headache or a real headache and it just doesn’t stop, a 5-day pack of prednisone can break the cycle. I keep one on hand now because that is what was happening when I was taking the ‘new’ generic sumatripan/imitrex.

      1. Was the generic supplier that didn’t work Dr. Reddy’s??? I had the exact same problem and was afraid sumatripan wasn’t working for me anymore, but no, just that supplier. That’s a big part of why I switched to rizatriptan, because my pharmacy kept giving me the Dr. Reddy’s one and it was doing nothing for me.

        1. Typically pharmacies will special order a certain brand for you if you ask. CVS switched suppliers of one of my monthly meds and it didn’t work at all. I spoke to the pharmacist and she said the switch was because the system does automatic ordering now, but she special ordered my preferred brand. The annoying thing is that I have to remind them a week before it’s due to be filled but I’m thankful to have the option.

    4. I’ve been doing it for about four years. Insurance only covers it if you have at least 15 headache days per month and if you’ve tried at least two daily preventative drugs from two different classes (beta blocker, anti-seizure, antidepressant, etc.). Even with all of that, it can still be a big hassle to deal with insurance approval every 12 weeks, though different doctors and insurance plans vary on this and some are easier to deal with than others (it’s about $3000 per session before insurance, but I luckily have good insurance and only pay a $20 copay).

      I get 30-40 injections in my face, head, and neck and it does make my forehead a little smoother, but I actually don’t love the way it makes my face look. They have to put them in very specific locations, so it changes the shape of my eyebrows in a weird way. I definitely wouldn’t do it for cosmetic reasons. It does help with both head and neck pain, which is why I stick with it despite the hassle. I still have daily headaches, but the intensity is lower than it was pre-botox.

      1. There’s a Botox Savings Program that can take your co-pay to $0. Botox Savings Program dot com. My co-pay for the doctor isn’t that much but for the botox itself is almost $200. The savings program covers all of it.

        1. I actually don’t pay anything for the botox- with three different insurance plans, the copay has always just been for the doctor visit (currently $20 but on other plans $80), so I assume this wouldn’t help with that?

          1. It covers the co-pay for the doctor as well as the co-pay for the prescription – up to a certain amount. For the co-pay I think they have to reimburse you. If you have to pay anything for the prescription, there’s a savings card that you give to the pharmacy so you don’t have out of pocket costs. From their site: Based on insurance coverage, reimbursement may be up to $1000 per treatment with a maximum savings limit of $4000 per year; patient out-of-pocket expense may vary. Claims must be submitted within 180 days of treatment date and must include a copy of (a) an Explanation of Benefits (EOB) for the BOTOX® treatment, (b) a Specialty Pharmacy (SP) receipt for BOTOX, or (c) other writing showing payment of out-of-pocket BOTOX and treatment-related out-of-pocket costs

    5. I do. It helps with the 11’s and the center of your forehead, but not really anywhere else on your face as most of the injections are elsewhere on your head, neck, and shoulders. My insurance made me try 3 different preventative meds before it would approve paying for botox.

    6. No, you wouldn’t be the best candidate for Botox right now, and it isn’t killing 2 birds with one stone. As the other poster said, it is not usually covered unless you are severe refractory migraneur that has a lot of migraines every month and has already tried and failed multiple prophylactic drugs, and the injections are different than those for cosemetic Botox.

      And for all interested in Botox… as I’m sure you know, go to the most experienced person you can for injections or who may regret it. My mother had terrible migraines, that only got worse after menopause and she had failed literally dozens of medications before trying botox. She had injected by her neurologist, who was specialized in migraines, but turns out not very adept with botox. She developed terrible droopy forehead and sagging eyelids FOR MONTHS. And of course, everyone she worked with assumed she was vain and had started Botox (this was 3 decades ago when botox was less common) and started snickering behind her back. She just tried to make jokes about it and was trying to hide her medical condition, as migraines were an excrutiating part of her daily life and she was pushing her way up the ladder in a very conservative Big Law firm.

      We are all so lucky if we do not suffer with pain every day, let me tell you.

      Hats off to all migraineurs.

    7. I got Botox about six weeks ago for aging lines purposes. I didn’t expect it to help with my headaches, but it was gone like magic. I haven’t had a headache in that spot since then.

    8. As others have mentioned, Botox for migraines is a lot of units spread all over the head and neck. I got Botox for a deep crease between my eyebrows and it helped *immensely* for my migraines, even though it wasn’t the migraine method. I credit that to the fact that the majority of my migraines are behind my eyes or between my eyebrows– very rarely anywhere else in my head. I have a few triggers for migraines but I have very strong brow muscles and they would really exacerbate migraines even if I was doing all the other things right (sleeping enough, avoiding sun in my eyes, perfumes, etc.) so the Botox helping to relax those muscles really helped a lot for my migraines. I have had to stop for baby reasons and really want to do it again. My eye strain is not as bad being home for the pandemic (better able to control my lighting and not having coworkers with strong fragrances, for example) but my brow muscles can really ache some days!

    9. Not what you asked, but I got horrendous migraines 10-15x per month beginning when I was a teenager (especially bad the week of my period), and this combination of things I noticed that seemed to help decrease them: 1) keeping stress down-easier said than done, but even doing yoga a couple times per week helped; 2) monthly massages with a masseuse who knows how to do cranial sacral massages to work out the tightness and in my neck and head; 3) get off hormonal birth control; 4) get a mouthguard-this one was huge for me. I was waking up with migraines and finally realized that I clench my jaw in my sleep and it was triggering them when I would not otherwise have them. I know how terrible the suffering can be from them, so I want to offer these thoughts just in case any of them were something you haven’t considered.

    10. Hi, Hopefully not too late but also someone with chronic migraines for 15 years here (including some years of intractable migraines that never fully went away), so I have spent a lot of time doing and researching treatments. Botox has been one of the best treatments for me. It’s been helpful doing the full neurologist treatment (as others have said, forehead, scalp, neck, shoulders), just cosmetically in my forehead, and actually most useful to me, jaw for TMJ. I do think that the botox at the neurologist helped the lines in my forehead, so that was a nice plus!

      In terms of neurologist botox vs cosmetic botox, I’m not sure if you meet the criteria for your insurance to cover botox at the neurologist as others have said. I believe you need to have migraines/headaches at least 15 days/month, and to have tried other (cheaper) preventative medications first. If you don’t qualify but are interested in trying botox, I would probably try cosmetic and see if that helps (if you can afford it). Cosmetic botox is how it was discovered that botox helps migraines – it was done cosmetically on people who noticed their migraines were better afterwards. I think if you try it 2-3 times you will know if it helps you or not. Like others have said, I would go to someone experienced.

  2. Morning!
    I bought a wedge pillow based on recommendations from y’all, but I am struggling. Do y’all use a pillow on top of it? Does it work best if you train yourself to sleep on your back? Was there a period of growing pains? Any other tips?

    1. I use a pillow on top of mine bc that’s more comfortable to me. I usually mostly fall asleep on my back and then turn onto my side at some point. It still works for GERD but just isn’t as comfortable. I do usually wake up in the wee hours when I no longer have acid issues and throw it off the bed :)

    2. It definitely takes experimenting and adjustment.

      How do you like to sleep normally? Back or side? Which side? Is the wedge for GERD? One position all night or a person who moves around?

      I think most people use a pillow on top and you will need to try a lot of pillows to find one the right height and sometimes you have to experiment with different height wedges.

      However, the simplest solution is actually just putting some blocks underneath the head of the bed and elevating the whole bed, and then you sleep with your normal pillows. People who only need to elevate a small angle do this.

      I have a family member that struggled with wedges for years and finally got an electric adjustable bed and it is wonderful for them.

  3. I’m going to place my first Quince order I think (PJs and a tshirt) – anything else I should get there?

    1. cashmere socks. I machine wash and dry mine regularly and they’ve held up well for a year.

      1. I have this one too and also love it. It’s on the short side though — I’m 5’4″ and it’s perfect for casual wear but might be too short for work if your office is on the conservative side.

    1. tbh I’ve only seen these on Insta when they give out a free bag to an influencer and offer a promo code…

    2. Yay if she is a monogram person. Personally, if she goes out to concerts/sports events, I would probably get her a bag from Gloss Game (Texas small business), which makes really cute, well made clear stadium bags at around the same price point.

  6. Happy Friday! I am waiting for a job offer letter to come through and I am STRUGGLING to do any work. Not me refreshing my email every ten seconds.

    Hope y’all have as good of a day as can be expected rn!

    1. I’m there with you. Waiting to hear about a graduate program. I feel confident about being accepted, but not as sure on funding, which is the make-or-break.

    2. Today is my last day of a job I’ve been in for years. It’s super bittersweet. I love my team, and I feel guilty leaving them short handed. I’m leaving for an amazing opportunity that is the right move, but I’m still very sad today.
      Then again a colleague that drives me up the wall put a totally unnecessary meeting on my calendar for 4 this afternoon. So that’s a nice reminder of what I’ll be leaving behind.
      Hope you get an amazing offer and all the benefits!

      3. I would like to conflate your comment with the following one and suggest that you have an Old Fashioned at four o’ clock instead.

        1. Unfortunately not. She’s sending me chats about prep work for it. Maybe I will have a cocktail during this zoom phone call :)

          1. Edited that third sentence for you – “I will have a cocktail instead of attending this zoom phone call.”

      5. Anon OP here and also would decline that meeting fo sho. Congratulations!

        Got the offer and accepted (we discussed the terms yesterday and they came in at the very top of the salary range so no need to negotiate – 30% raise foe me plus a higher bonus target plus an extra bonus possibility and the same benefits otherwise) Giving notice later today!

  7. Friday goal is to learn to make an Old Fashioned at home. My grocery store is sort of basic. Where can I get bitters? An ABC store? Somewhere like While Foods or Williams Sonoma? I can zest an orange and also do some orange peel easily enough. Do I need a real sugar cube? And do I want to get into fancy ice cubes or leave that for next week?

    1. ABC store will definitely have bitters. Even your most basic supermarket will most likely have a bottle or two, near the margarita salt and jugs of mixers.

    2. If you’re going to Williams Donoma anyway you may as well buy the mold for fancy ice cubes! That said, any liquor store should sell at least the classic bitters. WS will have fancier and different flavored varieties.

    3. Another way to riff on old-fashioneds is to use a teaspoon or so of jam as sweetener, instead of sugar. I’m partial to cherry jam, but fig or plum would be good. Also orange marmalade, although I’d try to avoid getting bits of peel into the drink.

    4. I’ve found bitters at the liquor store, but I think it depends on your state. I’ve found them in the beer/tobacco store too, according to their website Target sells them, and I’m pretty sure our grocery store has them with other alcohol mixers like margarita mix and stuff. You don’t need a sugar cube, you can use simple syrup, which is literally very simple to make. :) Big ice cubes melt more slowly and won’t water your drink down as quickly as regular ones, but they aren’t super necessary. Have fun! Making an Old Fashioned isn’t very hard and it’s such a good drink.

      1. About simple syrup – got some brown sugar that has hardened into an unusable rock? Throw it in a small pot with some water and cook it down into the most delicious brown sugar simple syrup.

    5. My husband just uses a teaspoon or so of sugar instead of a sugar cube. I prefer using maple syrup as the sweetener. :) Cookie and Kale has a really good recipe.

        1. I just bought cherries for old-fashioneds a couple of weeks ago, and I bypassed the Luxardo cherries in favor of Bada Bing cherries from Tillen Farms (which I guess is a Stonewall Kitchen brand?). The cherries are delicious – nothing like the neon-red fake maraschinos – and as an added bonus, a jar only cost $12 instead of $24 or whatever for the Luxardos. I like Luxardo cherries but the price always hurts a little bit. I found the Tillen Farms cherries at Total Wine.

      2. I use maple syrup, too. Easy peasy and delish. I also like to use orange bitters.

    6. Most decent liquor stores should have bitters. Honestly I just put some sugar and water in my glass to dissolve it, throw in a few dashes of bitters, whiskey, mix it up and throw in an ice cube. I love my large ice cube trays though.

    7. ABC store, or depending on where you live, your town might have a specialty store. My town randomly has an entire store devoted just to bitters and fancy cocktail supplies (we are a state-run ABC state, so they can’t sell actual liquor. If you just happen to be in the Raleigh area, it’s The Bittery)

      1. They have a website! And so many types of bitters and things. Is there a basic kind to try first?

        1. Angostura is the OG bitters and is commonly used in old- fashioneds, manhattans, and other cocktails.

          Otherwise, get flavors that sounds good to you! Orange is very useful. I like chocolate and hot pepper bitters too, and cardamom if you like bourbon-based drinks. Bourbon + apple cider + cardamom bitters and a little seltzer if you like fizzy is delicious. Grapefruit bitters are nice for more summery drinks.

          Another thing to know is that Fee Brothers brand bitters is nonalcoholic – they use an oil base, I think. I like to drink bitters + seltzer, and the amount you use is so small that I don’t care about the alcohol, but if you have people in your life who might enjoy bitters + seltzer and avoid alcohol, Fee Brothers would be the way to go.

        2. Double-check as I’m not sure they actually ship–it might just be online orders for local pickups. Agree with PolyD on flavors. I recently got lavender bitters, which goes great in a lot of gin drinks if you like gin.

  8. Need to do a bit of a pantry clean out. Anyone have a favorite recipe that uses brown lentils? I love daal but o think it’s best made with red lentils. Split pea recipes welcome as well ( other than classic split pea soup). TIA!

        1. It really is so good. I’m from the Detroit area and the Lebanese/Middle eastern food we have here is top notch. Mujaddara is one of my favorite dishes. Pair with a fattoush salad and it’s a GOOD meal.

          1. I’m going to the Detroit area for the first time in a few months, and I LOVE Lebanese food. Would love any recommendations of places I must try!

          2. Depends on where in Detroit you’ll be! Here are a few highlights:
            Al-Ameer in Dearborn (Dearborn is the center of middle eastern culture in Metro Detroit)
            Anita’s Kitchen in Ferndale
            Phoenicia in Birmingham (this is more upscale)
            Le Saj in Sterling Heights and Troy
            Shatila Bakery in Dearborn for sweet treats

      2. I actually love mujaddara. Some other ideas:
        -Soup (check out Budget Bytes for my favorite lentil soup (veggie) and stew (meat))
        -Smitten Kitchen recently posted a lentil salad that looks like a delicious healthy lunch hack
        -This one is weird but stay with me: taco filling. I have an old Betty Crocker cookbook with the following recipe in it. I made it once and my husband, who normally asks for meat with everything, snarfed it down almost before I could have any.

        Melt 2 Tbsp butter in a largeish saucepan, add 1 small chopped onion and 1 (or 3, as I do) crushed cloves garlic and cook until delicious-smelling.
        Rinse 1/2 cup lentils and 1/2 cup brown rice and add to the pot. Add about 2 cups chicken broth and a shake of hot sauce. Bring to boil, then turn down and allow to simmer for about an hour or until the rice is tender. Throw in a chopped green pepper and 1/2 cup shredded herbed Havarti or gouda cheese. (I think I used a bit more than 1/2 cup and it all came together into this deliciously velvety cheesiness, highly recommend.)

        We served this in tiny little street taco size tortillas and it made like five, so maybe double it. But it’s so good. I’m sure you could swap the green pepper for other veggies too.

    3. Serious Eats has an awesome lentil soup with a topping of garlic, parsley, and lemon zest. Very comforting!

    5. I do a very simple lentil and smoked salmon salad. Will paste a link in a separate comment.

      I don’t follow the recipe exactly – I make the vinaigrette and the lentils, then use whatever vegetables I have on hand. I love smoked salmon, so that always goes on it.

    6. Tossed with balsamic, you can combine lots of different veggies and nuts in for a cold side salad or a yummy mix for a green salad. I’m partial to carrots & walnuts.

    7. Post Punk Kitchen Smoky Tomato Lentil Soup with Olives and Kale

      For some reason I cant copy and paste the link.

      1. Not OP, but that site looks great, thanks! Any other favorites we should know about?

        1. I will open that question to the whole group. I haven’t explored it much myself but belong to a lot of “foodie” groups on social media and see reference to the site often, so others here might have favorites to share. I did see recently that she has a lentil olive salad, which I suspect is similar to the soup and on my radar as something to try.

    8. Lentil meatballs! The recipe I make is from the Cool Beans cookbook, but you could probably improvise a recipe- I think the main ingredients are onions, bread crumbs, smoked paprika and some other spices and maybe tomato paste?

    10. Don’t underestimate daal made out of what you have in pantry as a topping for nachos or filling for quesadillas :)

    11. The Smitten Kitchen lentil, sausage and chard stew is delicious and my go to whenever I have lentils at home.

  9. I think I’m making risotto tonight for the guy I’m seeing (it’s not the first time I’ve cooked for him, phew). I realised that I always go for pea and pancetta in my risotto, with Parmesan on top, but I know there are so many more possibilities. If you were making a risotto, what would you all put into it?

      1. Yum. People often have strong feelings re fungi though. I love a mushroom anyhh TH info though.

      2. Do what you know and like! I always find it so much more relaxing to cook something I’ve cooked a bunch before when I’m cooking for someone else. Way more time to relax and hang out with the person.

    6. I like fennel risotto. I think BBC Kitchen and Jamie Oliver both have good versions.

    7. Shrimp and tomato. If doing shrimp, mushroom or asparagus, I’d make sure that’s ok since seafood is a common allergen and the other two are polarizing (I love but not everyone else does).

    8. I cannot believe someone finally asked a question that is so right up my alley. I make risotto all the time!

      For me the important part is having the right rise – Arborio or carnaroli, some good stock or broth, and the best cheese. The stuff you add in the last few minutes for me is about 4th or 5th on the list.

      But here are my favorites:

      Plain Parmesan risotto with the best reggiano you can find

      The pancetta and pea version you’re making

      Asparagus risotto – put the tough stems in your simmering broth as you’re adding it, blanch the tender tips and add them at the end, almost as a garnish because they fall apart easily

      Tomato and Parmesan risotto, especially good in the summer with garden tomatoes

      Lemon risotto made with both juice and a bit of zest

      Goat cheese risotto with fresh herbs

      Roasted butternut squash risotto with crispy sage leaves

      The traditional risotto Milanese with saffron and Parmesan (and bone marrow if you’re making it alongside ossobuco)

      Porcini mushroom risotto where you use the dried mushroom soaking liquid in the broth

      And sometimes I make risotto with leftovers. This week I made some with leftover roast chicken and roasted broccoli. Maybe not “company” worthy but a perfectly good risotto, which, after all, is peasant food!

      Enjoy!

      3. Wow. I would go to a restaurant where this was the whole menu. This all sounds amazing!

  10. Last night I went to Target to replace a broken spatula, and left with only the spatula. If anyone needs willpower, I’m fresh out until March.

    1. I went to Tiger (a Danish dollar store) and left with only the washi tape I was there for, and some knockoff Oreos.

    2. You are amazing. I started doing Drive Up before the pandemic even started in part to avoid all the extra purchases!

    3. That is amazing!

      In my experience, Target is free to walk into but can have a 3-figure exit fee.

        1. I’m pretty good with avoiding impulse shopping at Costco, as I don’t want to end up with a Costco-sized package of something I don’t like, but I can no longer be trusted in regular grocery stores. Why not buy that small package of cookies that looks interesting, or some fun cheese, or a different flavor of yogurt??

    7. I really don’t understand how this could have happened. You don’t go to Target with a list. You go to Target open to all possibilities, and Target tells you what you need.

  11. We’re buying a new house that has some nice high end designer lighting. However, we have two little kids and think I think we need ceiling fans come summer in Texas. Can anyone link me some nice ceiling fans they’ve seen or bought? I know this is such a random question!

    1. We built a house a few years ago and I sourced all of our lights and fans – we have this in our front room and it gets tons of compliments – caveat – we don’t use the light very much because we have recessed lighting and lamps that we primarily use. But I love the way it looks A LOT, which was most imp

      https://www.lowes.com/pd/Modern-Forms-Zephyr-Indoor-and-Outdoor-3-Blade-Smart-Ceiling-Fan-62in-Matte-Black-Distressed-Koa-with-3000K-LED-Light-Kit-and-Remote-Control-with-Wall-Cradle/1002699614

      This is what we put in our guest room –
      https://www.lowes.com/pd/Fanimation-Studio-Collection-Aire-Drop-52-in-Antique-Bronze-LED-Indoor-Ceiling-Fan-with-Light-Kit-and-Remote-5-Blade/1002826836

      We have two of these on our front porch –
      https://www.homedepot.com/p/Home-Decorators-Collection-Carrington-II-60-in-LED-Indoor-Outdoor-Natural-Iron-Ceiling-Fan-with-Light-YG419B-NI/315578957

      1. +1 we have several Minka Aire fans and love them. We have the Wave in our family room and it is a statement piece — and really good at moving the air!

      3. +3 … I also really love their outdoor wall mounted fan. It can be hardwired, or if you plug it in, you can detach it from the wall when you have high wind storms.

    3. Congrats on your new house! An IG’er I follow did a roundup of ceiling fans a while ago. If you g o o gle “Chrissy Marie Blog” and “15 Cute Ceiling Fans For All Budgets” it should pop right up (not linking here to avoid mod).

      1. Thank you! This blog post was so helpful and had a lot of what was recommended here :)

    4. I had to buy fans last summer and thought the market was very odd – lots of super modern, and super farmhouse, but not a lot of boring fans (I love fans, but they’re not a focal point for me). I went with the Hunter Dempsey in white to blend in.

      1. +1 to this

        My husband really wanted this very tropical looking fan for our bedroom and I let him talk me into it. The kids’ rooms have plain white and I like the look of them so much better. Sadly, the tropical fan is much higher-{‘d and will apparently never wear out.

        I don’t love ceiling fans though. We have them because we’re in the Bay Area with no A/C.

  12. Okay why are there so many clothes suggested from Amazon? A few is whatever, but this just seems like an oddly high number of clothes from amazon to choose to feature.

    1. Affiliate links. If you click on that and then buy other things from Amazon at some point, it’s an affiliate payment on all of your purchases, not just the dresses.

      1. That explains a lot! I knew about affiliate links but not that they get affiliate payments off of all the purchases in the order. Another blog I read had a round up of their February favorites today, and I noted the amount of amazon recs were out of proportion (especially since it didn’t make sense with their brand – I straight up don’t believe they use the pots they recommended from amzn).

        That said, I don’t actually care what the affiliate links/recommendations are on the blog posts here. :D I’m here for the comment section.

        1. depending on the store and affiliate program (some are pay per click, others only on a sale), you could click a blogger’s link, close the window without buying anything, and then go back a few days later and shop for something else entirely, and they still get a commission! (Unless you clicked another blog’s link in the meantime, then THEY get the commission – that’s why, for example, you see bloggers posting so incessantly during the NAS – they want to make sure theirs is the last one you click!)

          I find the economics behind blogs to be kind of fascinating and also get annoyed at bloggers who are less than forthcoming about links for that reason.

    2. Idk, as a plus sized woman, I was glad to know about this instagrammed and the drop, which I didn’t know about before today.

      People have Issues with Amazon but buy all manner of crap from Target and feel virtuous about it. I think the thing we should all do is buy less. If you don’t want to buy from Amazon because you don’t like Jeff Bezos that’s fine, but don’t act like you’re saving the world and everyone else needs to do the same.

      1. I buy absolutely as little as possible from Amazon and definitely don’t buy clothes from Amazon and I also do not buy all manner of crap from Target. I’d be just as squicked out if all the cheap crap posted here was from Target.

        1. It is called “Frugal” Friday for a reason. Come back Monday and it will be incredibly expensive stuff most people could not dream of affording.

  13. I’m a partner in a law firm. I’m growing increasingly frustrated with how our firm handles billing – which to me, should be easy, streamlined, and a consistent processes. I’ve never worked anywhere else but wondering if this is “normal.” If you’re in professional services – Would you share your billing process? I have the authority this year to form a committee with our accounting team to work on things, but want to get some ideas. I’ll start:

    – approx. 50 lawyers. 5 full time accounting staff. We have a legal timekeeping and billing system / purchased a new one in 2019.
    – Attorneys must enter their Feb. time by March 3. Accounting prints “prebills” on business day 4. Accounting hands them to the billing attorneys’ legal admins.
    – Legal admins get them to their partners either by hand delivery or scan. Only partners can sign off on bills.
    – Partners may or may not make changes to the bill. May or may not consult other partners / attorneys who have time on the file. Encouraged to review by the 15th business day but not required.
    – When done, the billing partner’s admin gives the hard copy edited bill back to accounting. Accounting manually types in our changes, and then prints a final bill.
    – accounting hand delivers the final bill to the billing partner’s legal admins. Accounting codes the bill as “sent” in the computer system.
    – Billing partner reviews again – hopefully catches any mistakes from the manual entry.
    – Billing partner’s legal admin sends the bill via US mail, email, or both.
    – the mailed or emailed copy of the bill is not sent to accounting or the system. Our computer system shows it was sent based on when accounting is done with it.

    1. That sounds awful. When I was in charge of bills in private practice (not a billing partner but they delegated down a lot of the interim steps) it was pretty similar. I hope there’s a better way? It seems like at least you should be able to make changes to the bill without using a pen and paper, and that the outgoing email of the bill should somehow go automatically to accounting?

      1. yeah, the part where it gets printed out, edited and entered back in is bonkers if you bought the system in 2019. Perhaps someone decided they don’t want to invest time training partners how to approve time in the digital system. Very shortsighted decision.

        1. It is more likely that the approving partners don’t want to learn the system and prefer to make edits by pen and paper as they always have. I have worked with a lot of partners (sorry, but the ones who fall in this category are exclusively men) who don’t have the first clue how to make an electronic court filing, much less how to use the electronic billing system to make edits.

    2. My firm is a similar size–40ish attorneys–and has 2 full time accounting staff, plus an office manager who used to be in the accounting office. We have similar first steps, but the last steps are simpler, and we get less time.
      – Attorneys must enter their Feb. time by March 3. Accounting emails “prebills” directly to the handling attorneys (usually but not always the partners) on business day 4.
      – Legal admins remind/harass their attorneys to review the bills.
      – Handling attorneys may or may not make changes to the bill. May or may not consult other attorneys who have time on the file. Must review within a few business days (this month, by COB March 7th).
      – When done, handling attorney or their assistant gives the hard copy edited bill back to accounting. Accounting manually enters changes.
      – Accounting directly mails or emails bills to clients without further review, unless requested.

    3. What system is it? My firm did it this way (edits by pen and paper, billing entered) until we all went home for COVID. At that point, we were all forced to learn how to do it electronically, which we did and it was fine. But billing still makes all of the edits to time amounts for us. I think this is because they have to code the changes a certain way. There is resistance to giving the attorneys too much ability to mess with the amounts. We can edit the narratives, but have to leave notes about changes to the amounts and billing does it manually.

      So I think the question is (1) does your system allow for electronic edits; and then (2) if so, who is the person/people who want to stick to the old way, and why? Also, based on this small sample size, sounds like it’s not an unusual way to do things. But I completely agree there should be an easier way!

    4. Partner in similar sized firm here. Our accounting software is old and needs replacing, so hopefully we can streamline some of this soon, but we also print Prebills approx two days after month end. Now I get them scanned to me since I wfh a lot, but we generally do manual corrections and then I send directly back to the accounting dept and they make the corrections and mail out the bill. I often mark up with pdf editing but sometimes I print and write if there is a very detailed edit to do. I guess it sounds similar to yours but we don’t do another second check, just goes out.

    5. Having only a monthly deadline for billing is not good for making sure you don’t forget any time — weekly deadlines for submission were more common in my Biglaw experience!

    6. Time entered by the 1st of the month or first business day of the month.
      Unless billing attorney wants a hard copy, prebills are put into Prebill Viewer software for electronic review.
      For mine, I review in Prebill Viewer (I can change descriptions, time, do writeoffs of time or cost, whatever) and note that it’s good to bill, then Accounting sends the bill by mail, email, electronic billing–however noted in the system). You can opt to review final bills, but I trust my thorough electronic review (any errors would have to be mine) and my assigned billing person.
      If I want someone else to review the bills or someone else wants me to review their bills, I/they assign it to that person in the software, and review proceeds as described.
      My admin is not involved, and I only touch the bills once.

    7. I do legal accounting, and that’s a lot of accounting staff for a firm your size.

      1. After going from a great boss to a terrible boss due to original great boss’s boss also being terrible, this is where I fall too. (My current boss is great.)

    3. I had a great boss for 5+ years, and left this past fall for career advancement. Turns out my new boss is also great, I’m making 60% more money, I’m permanently remote, and there is a clear path for advancement. My new boss acknowledged my frustration with my stagnation at my old job, and is setting up my yearly goals to reflect an accelerated training schedule to get me where I want to be.

      TL;DR: we all deserve both.

      1. This is so good to hear and awesome for you! As someone who is not the OP but struggling to decide how much my great boss should factor into my desire to move, you give me hope!

        1. Honestly it took leaving to lose the rose-colored glasses. My boss was kind, understanding, and flexible when I needed it for health and eldercare issues. She pushed hard for good raises for her team, and often got us 2-3% above COL, though never to full competitive market rates. She also pushed hard for remote work during the pandemic (the company resisted, to the point of using loopholes to declare us an essential service provider).

          But she was also a company lifer, with an “I’ll put my nose to the grindstone and wait for management to notice and reward me” mindset. She was the only department manager still in a cubicle instead of an office, because she never stood up for herself. In the end, I realized that I would never move up or earn good money with her squatting on the department. Life lesson: a boss who treats YOU well but doesn’t treat HERSELF well, will stagnate everyone.

      2. yep, the precise thing that makes my boss great is how invested she is in my growth.

    5. Career advancement. Bosses come and go. Your great boss could leave tomorrow & the you’ve stifled your career for a temporary/unpredictable period of comfort.

        1. That’s assuming the “career advancement” doesn’t come with an exceptionally bad boss, which I would definitely try to avoid.

    6. ?? I don’t do well with hypothetical either/or scenarios that lock the options into a box. Are you currently facing something in real life related to this, or is this just a generic conversation starter for a Friday morning?

      If it’s a mere conversation starter, carry on.

      1. Thanks for your approval! Glad we can have a hypothetical conversation now that you’ve signed off.

    7. Early career, I chose career advancement and money. I’m glad I did because I continue to reap the benefits. Now, I have a great boss / firm, and I wouldn’t go to another firm for double the money.

      1. BUT if a non-firm opportunity presented itself and served me better, I would take it.

    9. In my experience, part of what makes a great boss a great boss is precisely BECAUSE they are looking for opportunities to help you achieve your career goals. So, it feels like it shouldn’t be an either/or question unless it’s a situation where the only feasible next step for you is your boss’s role and you therefore have limited movement.

  15. Q about Providence Airport/New Haven: I’m hoping one of you kind people can help me out as google is failing me. Does Amtrak stop directly at the Providence Airport? Or, what is that connection like? Broader question: if I’m flying in from the west coast, and trying to get to New Haven with infant twins, how would you get there? I think we will only have 1 car seat with us (1 lap baby, one car seat), and I haven’t driven a car in 3 years, so, options that don’t require me to drive would be best. (My family can drive once we get to New Haven). Thank you! This is part of a big overseas trip, and I’m a bit freaked out about all the details!

    1. I do not think that the Amtrak stop in Providence is at the airport. I want to say the train station is downtown. The airport is probably a 25 min drive from downtown Providence.

      Can you fly into Hartford? It is a bit closer to New Haven than Providence. You could also fly into JFK or LGA (slightly longer drive than Hartford, but closer than Providence). I would probably bring two car seats (controversial opinion on this board I am sure, but you can gate check one or both of the car seats), and plan on driving or taking an Uber to New Haven from whichever airport you fly into.

      1. There are also car services in the NY area that provide infant car seats at extra cost. The two I have used are Legends and Kid Car.

    2. Oof, this is a tall order. The best train route I know to New Haven is to fly into La Guardia or JFK, take the train to Grand Central, and then take Metro North to New Haven. That’s a lot with baby twins. I’ve used CT transit for a more direct route, but you’d probably need to rent a second car seat.

      1. There is no train option to LGA (afaik) and it’s a really long train(s) to JFK. It’s one of the huge failures of NYC transit (and imo one of the best things about Chicago!)

        1. You could be right; it’s been a decade since I did this regularly! Long Island Railroad connects to air train at one of the two airports but it would be my nightmare to do that with a baby.

    3. This was a few years ago, so it could have changed, but I distinctly remember taking Amtrak from Boston to catch a flight out of Providence and it did not go directly to the airport. I waited a long time for a bus that never came before sucking it up and paying for a cab to the airport… I made it in plenty of time for my flight and I don’t think it was that hard, but doing it alone with babies would obviously be much harder. I’m guessing that’s probably still your best bet, but maybe an east coaster can chip in…

    4. Amtrak does not stop at Providence Airport. Just put directions from providence airport to new haven into google maps and you’ll see that.

      I would either bring 2 car seats and take a car service from JFK or have family pick us up at JFK.

    5. If you’re really trying to minimize transfers, I would fly to Newark airport, which has an air tram within the airport that connects to the Newark amtrak station (very easy to use). At that station, you can get on a north-bound Northeast Regional (or Acela) train and stay on it until New Haven, ~3 hours. Alternatively, you could fly to Boston Logan, then take the Silver Line (a bus that is part of the public transit system) to South Station, where you’d get on a south-bound Northeast Regional / Acela and take it to New Haven, ~2 hours. Another Boston option is the Back Bay Logan Express which is reportedly re-starting post-COVID on Tuesday, though I’ll believe it when I see it, which would take you from the airport to Back Bay station which is the second stop after South Station (this would be less preferred in my mind than the prior Boston option).

      Providence’s TF Green Airport is not in the same location as the Providence train station and given the more limited public transit / taxis as well as fewer flight options in the small city, I would personally choose Boston instead.

      1. Both of these options are what I would recommend. I don’t think comign in to JFK or LGA is a good idea. I think Newark is your best bet.

    6. From the west coast I would fly into whichever NY airport was most convenient and take CT Limo to New Haven. You can google CTLimo to get an idea of their prices. They have a bus as well as private car services.

      1. CT Limo was what I was referring to above with CT transit (whoops!). They’re reliable and clean.

    7. if you’re trying to get to New Haven, the most straightforward solution is to fly to LGA or JFK, and take Connecticut Limousine. Yes, as other commenters have said, Newark airport has train station right there, but it’s still more of a hassle, and a lot further, than the limousine from one of the NYC airports. The limo deposits you at their depot in town (admittedly not the most convenient location, but an easy drive/taxi).

    8. When we lived in New Haven with small kids, I gave up on trains to airports. Minimize hassle. I would fly to JFK or hartford depending in my flight options and take a car service. You do NOT want to be dealing with transferring your two babies and your luggage to try to catch a train. Is another adult traveling with you? Just make it easy on yourself. Pre kids or with older kids, imo the best combo to new haven is fly to LGA, take the express airport bus to grand central, and take metro north to new haven.

    9. Lived a long time in RI. I would do as anon at 11:10 suggests for Newark or Logan. If flying into TF green is more convenient than Logan or Newark for some reason, then I would take a cab or Uber from TF Green to Providence train station (approx 20 mins by car and usually an easy trip) and then the Amtrak Acela from Prov to New Haven.

    10. Either take an Uber from PVD to Amtrak or fly into Boston. Logan -> South Station via the Silver Line, South Station -> New Haven via Amtrak.

    11. You guys are the best! Thank you so much! So many cool ideas – I feel revived in my planning efforts.

    12. I would vote for Bradley in Hartford CT and hire a driver to take you to New Haven. Bradley is less congested than NYC. Providence is really not that convenient to New Haven. Good luck!

  16. Talk to me about reactions to Non- diamond engagement rings in the workplace. I work at a large accounting firm and don’t like diamonds. My partner is looking at emeralds and rubies right now. For those of you who have a non-diamond ring, and/or know someone who does – what kind of judgment (if any) should I be prepared for? Are people going to make snide comments? If yes, any examples? Worse, are people going to make snide comments to my partner?

    She wants to get me a diamond but knows I prefer not. Part of her reason is, she thinks people at work will look down on a non-diamond (assume she couldn’t afford it, etc.). I tend to be “f them! we are us” but I don’t want her to get negative blowback.

    Thanks to this board, I have researched diamond alternatives in case we pivot to a clear/diamond look stone. Today I’m looking for any anecdata from judgy co-workers! I’d rather be prepared for the worst or take it in stride than be shocked.

    1. I have a plain wedding band – no gems to speak of. No engagement ring. I have never gotten a comment.

      1. Whenever I see someone with just a plain wedding band I think that it’s such a nice clean simple look that I like a lot.

      2. This. I have a $20 plain silver wedding band that I wear on my right hand. No engagement ring. No comment ever. If I were to even entertain anybody to have opinions here, it would be close family or friends, but definitely not work.

    2. We’re not even generally in the office, so judgy judgers may not be a thing. But FWIW, as an old married person, I wear a $20 Qalo ring (maybe they have an engagement model with a sequin in it? may be easy to craft one) and my husband hasn’t worn his in a decade (and did not like the Qalo). Are you even a ring person? I would think that if you are a woman marrying a woman, you may get a lot of latitude already on jewelry choices (vs the Skip and Muffy type couples). I’d just get what you want; the haters will hate anyway, but I feel like that is muted during the pandemic (they will also judge your attire and mask choices, but whatevs).

      1. +1. My parents have been married 41 years and they rarely wear rings. You can’t please everyone so do what you want.

    3. I would not blink at a non-diamond. This isn’t unusual. Plenty of folks opt for a colored gemstone. You do you.

    4. Please do not buy a ring you don’t like because of what you think your coworkers will think! I guarantee you nobody cares that much! And even if they did, the opinions of your coworkers on something like this should be given zero consideration.

    5. Please carry on with “F them- we do us our way”. Worrying about what others will think to the point it’s going potentially going to change a most intimate purchase for you as a couple into a purchase that will meet the unsaid expectations of people not in your relationship sounds like an idea that will cause more problems and disappointment than joy. Condescending and otherwise judging coworkers are going to judge regardless of what you do. F them.

      2. +1. We did a small wedding and what seemed to some like a small ring, but we aren’t flashy and it suited us. If I get side eye about it, I point out I am still the first wife. Do what matches you as a couple.

      3. A colleague who judges you for not getting a diamond, will also gossip if your gem isn’t real, or too small or whatever. They will gossip and your choice will not prevent it. So choose what you want.

    6. It really doesn’t matter what other people think. I got engaged while I was a junior associate in Big Law, but my husband was a grad student earning $20k and I had significant student loan debt from law school so we really didn’t want to spend tens of thousands on a ring. We were still living pretty modest lifestyles and to the extent we were going to splurge, we wanted it to be a memorable honeymoon trip not on a big stone for an engagement ring. My husband got me a diamond ring with a 1/2 carat center stone that cost less than $1k. I’m sure there were plenty of people horrified about how small it was but everyone was polite enough to keep their mouths shut. Now, 12 years later we have a lot more money and could afford an upgrade, but would rather use the money on other things. And we have zero regrets about spending money on amazing honeymoon trip to Greece instead of a big diamond. I’m just really not a jewelry person and never cared about having a big shiny diamond on my finger. Just get the ring you like and F everyone else. Fwiw two close friends have non diamonds (one has a ruby and one has a sapphire) and they are lovely rings.

    7. Omg just tell people you love it. Never tell your partner about any nasty comments.

    8. Who would be so rude to comment on such a thing? If someone were to judge, I don’t think one would ever know. I wouldn’t worry what anyone else thinks regardless. It should be special to you and no one else. Only negative I could see is if it were a softer stone that could damage. Otherwise, you do you. I think color is more in now than ever (Vanderpump Rules had someone get a gorgeous pink morganite and Machine Gun Kelly chose a mix with emerald if you’re looking for recent pop culture reference). If you prefer a more traditional look, that’s OK, too.

    9. I think there is a trend towards colored stones, so you would be fine. You can always add a thin gold band with diamonds later if you do get any side eye.

      1. I’m nowhere near this, but I would love to get an engagement ring with rubies. I don’t see any particular reason why it has to be diamonds

    10. My BFF has a non-diamond engagement ring and as far as I know, no one has ever mentioned it, except to say it’s pretty.

    11. I work in a similar workplace. People LOVE my sapphire ring. They comment on it positively all the time. It was custom designed by my husband and brings me joy every time I look at it many (many) years later. I think that’s the most important thing because everyone in your workplace is going to care about your ring for a really short period of time (like literally as you are showing it to them), if at all. They’re never going to think about it again. 15 years later, you’ll still look at it everyday, so pick something you love.

    12. Get what you want. Unless it’s giant no one will look askance. Definitely don’t buy an engagement ring you don’t want!

      If you’re really looking for specific data on how your coworkers will respond, posting city might be helpful. I was in BigLaw in NYC with mostly asset management clients and that would have been fine. Maybe some old partner at the firm would have asked, but I don’t think it would have been an issue.

    13. Get the ring you want. If people ask to see it and you’re glowing with “it’s my favorite stone” then only the most uptight materialistic Real Housewife would still judge.

    14. A lot of people on this board seem to not be into engagement rings, whereas I love them and do pay attention to people’s rings. I wouldn’t think twice if I saw someone with an emerald or ruby engagement ring. Emeralds, especially, can be lovely if they’re the right tone, but they’re quite fragile I think. Both Jackie Kennedy and Wallis Simpson the Duchess of Windsor had gorgeous emeralds in their engagement rings. Ruby is my birthstone, so I would probably assume the bride was also born in July or just liked red stones.

    15. Honestly, the only person I know that would judge is my mom. She’s the judgiest person I know, and I just internally eyeroll every time she tells me that “so and so’s daughter’s engagement ring is *gasp* not a diamond or *gasp* so small and don’t you think it’s too small for a doctor or lawyer.” Heck, my mom even judged my sister’s engagement ring for being too simple even though that diamond is large enough to blind people.

      I personally think it’s cool to have a colored stone for an engagement ring. Only worry would be the durability of a softer stone, but in my opinion, have a fancy ring for fancy occasions, but also have a $20 silicone ring for daily wear and tear.

      1. Edited to add – OP, you do you and don’t worry about judgey gossipy people like my mom.

    17. I used to work in jewelry and I can tell diamonds from moissanite, lab emeralds and rubies from natural, and so on. When I see anything like that, my first thought is that I’m SO GLAD the world is moving any from DeBeers brainwashing, and towards jewelry that doesn’t abuse human rights.

      If you can’t help but feel worried about this (and I encourage you to not GAF, but I know that’s easier said than done) then tell yourself that any snide comments will be met with a statement that you don’t support slavery and your jewelry reflects that.

    18. I have an art deco style blue sapphire engagement ring with a diamond wedding band. No one has ever said anything negative about it other than to comment on how unique it is (in what I believe was a genuine remark)
      Maybe sapphires are more common because of the Princess Diana ring resurgence with the Duchess. I wouldn’t think twice about an emerald or ruby. I love colored stones and unique rings. I see them regularly in the wild now.

    19. Get whatever you want – because lovely people will be happy for your union no matter what ring you get and snarky people will snark no matter what.

      Case in point: I got an antique ring with a center diamond just shy of 1 carat. The diamond is in an old cut that’s not used anymore, so it’s a very understated ring (exactly what I wanted). A relative I rarely see (for this type of reason) commented, “But you’re both so established in your careers! You should have gotten the biggest one he could afford!!” ?

      A word about emeralds – they’re very soft and you’ll want them bezel set for daily wear. My grandmother chipped three emeralds with daily wear – she had the ring insured and they paid every time, but not fun.

    20. I can’t imagine a coworker would be judgy about a very common thing (I’ve seen more non-diamond engagement rings than diamonds of late and it is, in any event, not their business). But more importantly, I can’t imagine caring more about what your coworker might think than what you think. You don’t want a diamond. If you encounter a judgy coworker, that reflects totally and solely on them, not on you or your partner. Congratulations on your engagement!

    21. My ring is a sapphire and white gold band. The stones are bezel set so it’s smooth and doesn’t catch on any of my clothes. It’s simple and subtle and I love it.

    22. Mine is an aquamarine. No snide comments here, but also, I’m not much for listening to anyone who makes snide comments on engagement rings.

      Emeralds scratch easily FYI- hardness of ~6 which is the same as steel (aquamarine is the blue version of emerald… the one drawback of my ring). Rubies are almost as hard as diamonds. Also, both would be gorgeous and you should revel in how great your e ring will look.

    23. I would think your ring was super awesome and admire that your partner had picked it because she knew you would love it, and then move on with my day.

      Also, why is your partner worried about blowback from your coworkers? If they’re nasty to you and she’s not around to hear, she doesn’t need to know about it.

    24. It is no big deal at all. I’ve seen plenty of non-diamond engagement rings and usually think something like “how pretty and unique” especially if it’s estate, but that’s because I like estate jewelry.

      But if you want a non-diamond just keep in mind that nothing is as hard as a diamond and is more likely to get chips and scratches over times. Which is why I think it makes sense to get a bunch of little stones rather than one big one. But you do you!

    25. You’ve gotten plenty of comments on the judgey side so I won’t comment on that, but I just wanted to echo what some others have alluded to…
      I really, really wanted an emerald ring but our jeweler told us they are really prone to scratching and damage if you plan on wearing them every day. So I settled on sapphire – which I guess is a tougher gem – as I wear mine daily. So just keep that in mind. I mean, definitely double check as I’m just passing on this one guy’s opinion from 10 years ago, but the other comments make me think this is a legit issue.

      1. Yep, you’ll want to check both the Mohs hardness scale, and also pay attention to porousness and temperature sensitivity. For example, opals can crack if you’re in and out from harsh winters to heated offices frequently.

        The International Gem Society (IGS) has instructions for every type of stone, so you can research what amount of upkeep suits your lifestyle.

    26. There are people who care so I am not discounting OP’s concerns but it is not very many. Only a minuscule number of people will care about your ring at all (although really tiny diamonds do sometimes get side-eye in the “why did they bother” sense). Of that small group, an even smaller number will judge the stone not being diamonds and that percentage is probably outweighed by the people who will be thinking “good for her” because of the ethical issues with many diamonds. OP – Get the ring you want!

      I actually have the opposite problem. My ring is diamond and on the larger side and I cannot tell you how many people have started with “you may not know this but . . .” while officiously lecturing me about blood diamonds. And I keep having to explain over and over that (1) it is Canadian and (2) it is a family heirloom that my husband’s grandfather gave his grandmother for their 25th wedding anniversary. So yes – people are rude and people will comment and unfortunately some of them are people I cannot be rude to.

    27. I got married young and had a pearl engagement ring. It didn’t like diamonds, we were pretty broke, I liked pearls and didn’t think much of it. The only person who was weird about it was my MIL, who get yapping about pearls being a bad omen. We are no longer married, so maybe she was right… But I was a first year in biglaw and no one at work seemed to care much and everyone congratulated me. Sure, I wasn’t the talk of the office like the other first year who got engaged that year and had a GINORMOUS diamond, but it didn’t care about that.

    28. I think you should be prepared for no judgement; I’ve never seen or heard of anyone judging non-diamond look rings. Only case of I’ve seen of a non-diamond / non-diamond look ring was a sapphire that got lots of compliments because it was elegant and couple-specific.

      Also, what kind of adult insults someone’s engagement ring? Or any part of any person’s attire?

    29. My husband and I were buying a house when we got engaged, so I explicitly told him I 1) didn’t want a diamond and 2) I didn’t want him to spend a lot of money on the ring, because I would rather have that money for our home and our future. I am SO GLAD that’s what we did. I initially told him I wanted a morganite ring, but after speaking with the jeweler he ended up going with a peach sapphire – apparently morganite is a softer stone and scratches more easily. While the style of my ring is already slightly outdated (diamond halo band with teardrop sapphire), I still love it and I love that it cost less than $2k. Whether they were being honest or not, everyone GUSHED over our ring when we got engaged. People loved that it was unique. I think someone would have to be pretty rude/tone deaf to make a comment like that to someone’s face. Agree with other posters, stick with the “f ‘em!” mindset!

    30. Congrats on your engagement! Do you!

      I got married with a family ring setting that lacked a diamond (my mom had reset it years ago)…so we put in a nice CZ. Never had a comment at my firm or elsewhere in 11 years! We planned to put a diamond at some point, but now I don’t care. I don’t think anyone can tell the difference honestly.

    31. Well, the future Queen of England is wearing a sapphire, so you’d be in good company with an emerald or ruby.

      I know you want judgey anecdata, but I haven’t got any. Have never heard anybody comment negatively about anybody else’s engagement ring ever.

      If you want to sort of circumvent any comments, a vintage emerald or ruby ring could hit the spot. If somebody says “is that ruby?” “Yes, I love vintage jewels, they are so much higher quality than modern rings, don’t you agree”.

    32. So I have multiple wedding rings because I love jewelry. Agree completely to get what you want, who cares about haters. I’ll just share my thoughts after getting just about every category of ring. I initially wanted an emerald, and that’s my original ring. I ended up not liking it for every day because I usually have a red manicure and it looks like too much Christmas in my hand when worn together. So think of your nail polish tendencies when choosing a colored stone. A few years later, I got a vintage diamond ring that I just love, but it’s a little too fancy for every day. So I got a stack of moissanite bands that are just easier to wear. I’m regularly sporting a different wedding ring, and the only comments I’ve gotten is about them being pretty. Do what you want!

      1. late posting but worth noting that diamonds weren’t at all the norm 1940 or 1950s and the marketing blitz.

        i think your ring will be stunning and wish you both all the best and happiest long life together!

    33. Agree with everyone that nobody will jduge, so you can reassure your partner on that front.

      From another angle – it sounds a bit that may be, like most couples who are about to tie the knot, there is a case of nervousness and feeling in the public eye on her side? I think most couples go through this, we all feel very much in the public eye in that moment, that is why rings, elaborate ceremonies etc. are such a Thing… Nothing wrong with that feeling, but it’s a great moment to remind her that the nervousness/care what others think, will pass. The feeling that will remain in 20-30-50 years is your love and happiness and not the wedding details or what anyone wore or how you did things and what people thought. One of the great things of being together is that what the world thinks of you will matter that little bit less :) At least that’s how I’ve felt.

      This internet stranger is wishing you both all the best and a very happy life together!

  17. I have a dinner date tonight. It is date #2 after drinks earlier this week. Nice neighborhood restaurant but not the highest end. The post yesterday about dressing up for early dates made me think harder about my attire. Should I be wearing a dress and heels/boots here? I haven’t been on a dinner date in more than 10 years, so this is not a Covid Q just a Q. I am not sure yet if I’m interested but want to make him feel good taking me out.

    1. Second date for me was always the do we have chemistry date (after date 1 being like can we have a conversation?). So I wanted to feel cute. What makes you feel cute? Guys seem to read dresses as made an effort even if they’re sweater dresses so that might be nice if date is male.

      1. For a nice neighbourhood restaurant I would likely do a sweater dress and boots (fairly casual but reads that you made an effort). If you go jeans, I would dress it up a bit with heeled booties and a pretty blouse and some delicate jewelry.

    2. I’d match the vibe of the restaurant. Cozy neighborhood spot reads your favorite jeans and perhaps a v-neck sweater, rather than something formal for the sake of “dressing up.”

      1. +1. I think there are very few restaurants these days where dressed up jeans (ie with a cute top and heels) would not be an appropriate, if not preferred option, over an actual dress.

  18. Consulting question: Have any of you ladies gone into consulting after several years in the field? How was that transition? I’m deciding between a newish spinoff of IBM and a local firm that doesn’t require travel. The IBM spinoff pays 25% more but requires travel(up to 4 days per week). The local firm requires absolutely no travel. I’m leaning toward the local but lower paying option. Am I shooting myself in the foot and settling? I have 2 kids and a husband that works long hours so travel would be difficult.

    As I mentioned, I’m coming from industry and did not go to a top school. Should I uproot my life for a bit and go with the stretch position at a bigger name, or pick the position that’s lower paying but allows me to sleep in my own bed every light? What have you ladies done in this situation?

    1. I’m considering making the same move, one of the big 4 is aggressively recruiting in my area. In your shoes I’d go for the local position unless your husband is in the position to lean out and work shorter hours/ become primary parent.

    3. I’ve been recruited by a couple of consulting firms and had preliminary conversations, but bottom line for me is the travel requirements for consulting jobs are not congruent with me maintaining the kind of family life I want to maintain, even though my kid is older. While they said they could “possibly work around my family needs” it sounded like it would be minimum 75% travel, and I don’t feel good about being away from home that much and leaving all the parenting, pet care, household maintenance, etc. to my husband (and as an FYI, he turned down a high-travel job at one point because he didn’t want to shove all of that onto me).

      I also value being present for my son on a day-to-day basis and that’s hard to do if you’re gone all the time. It was not just about logistics, but also about being fully present in my son’s life and there for the big and little events that make up his childhood and adolescence. I also value time with my husband, and didn’t want to have to cram my relationship with him into the two or three days I’d be home between business trips. I also feared how much resentment would build up over time from him having to shoulder so much of the burden of our life together.

      For me, it was one of those situations where had I been single, I would have jumped at the opportunities on offer…but I chose not to be single, and I chose to have a child (and adopt two awesome dogs who also have some special health needs that require daily care) and so what they had to offer wasn’t congruent with how I want to live my life.

      1. Thank you for this thoughtful comment. You’ve written out what I’ve been thinking. While I want the higher paying opportunity and want to “prove” that I could make it work, I know in my heart that constant travel wouldn’t allow me to have the family life I really want.

    4. Stretch and then go local so you have the big name on your resume for when you do the ultimate thing – hang out your own shingle. (This is what I have done)

    5. I think it really depends on your location and industry. I’m in consulting within the financial industry. I live outside of NYC where most of our clients are based. I was told that the days of traveling M-Thurs are gone because clients no longer want to pay for travel if they don’t have to. That being said it can be very industry specific and you need to figure out if you can be gone for several days a week. I couldn’t imagine having a job that required travel and kids! I also broke up with an ex because he did the M – thurs travel every week and I didn’t want to be a single mom.

  19. Stuck in mod — Consulting question: Have any of you ladies gone into consulting after several years in the field? How was that adjustment? I’m deciding between a newish spinoff of IBM and a smaller firm. The IBM spinoff pays 25% more but requires travel(up to 4 days per week). The local firm requires absolutely no travel. I’m leaning toward the local but lower paying option. Am I shooting myself in the foot and settling? I have 2 kids and a husband that works long hours so travel would be difficult.

    I’m coming from industry and did not go to a top school. Should I uproot my life for a bit and go with the stretch position at a bigger name, or pick the position that’s lower paying but allows me to sleep in my own bed every light? What have you ladies done in this situation?

    1. I would have gone with prestige pre-kids. Post-kids, I pick the option less likely to blow up in my face upon the next lice / stomach bug / whooping cough / COVID outbreak and to be manageable during summer camp season (if your kids are school-aged). It’s not the cool opinion, but I eventually made partner in my law firm by being the turtle (vs the hare in my former life) and then equity partner, so it worked out for me but it has hard to turn down $$$ / prestige.

    3. Don’t take a travel job if you have little kids. I’m not sure what kind of consulting you’re talking about but I wouldn’t expect that a bigger name is necessarily worth it (nor does it probably matter if you went to a top school, barring a few industries). Some of the small companies I’ve worked for had the best benefits.

      1. This makes me feel better about going with the smaller firm. I’m in tech so the industry is a more open to valuing experience/skill over school name

        1. Ah, I am in a technical field also. My previous consulting company was bought up a by a big global name and personally I and several other coworkers jumped ship, trying to avoid some of the less glamorous things that can come with big companies (increased billable hour requirements, more pressure to travel (which would likely not count towards billables), etc). Big names can be good if you’re entry level but if you’re experienced I think your experience can speak for itself. I also knew that I was going to have kids right after I left, and while I did have coworkers with kids only one person had little kids at home. It’s not fun being away a majority of the time.

    4. Is the travel even realistically feasible in your circumstances?
      I have two kids as well and when we are both working travel is really difficult. I guess in some ways the fact that it would be so regular almost helps as you would have to hire a more regular au pair or nanny or something it sounds like, but that will just eat into any extra money. Or do you have close family that will truly truly help on a really regular basis?

      1. It is technically feasible but would be tight. We have a lot of close family. We don’t have a nanny but I think the additionally money would caver one.

    5. Yuck. I assume this is traditional MBB style consulting where you are on site at the client for a portion if not all if the engagement. Don’t take this role if you don’t want to travel.

      That said, things have changed a lot since COVID. I am an independent consultant that in Before Times has 10-20% travel. I never travel anymore. You might want to prove a bit with the company and find out if 25% means 25% like 1-2 days/week, one full week a month, or occasional client travel and they put 25% as a CYA. I’ve seen all of those models.

      Remember too that there is a 25% premium in salary for a reason. Travel stinks.

  20. I don’t lurk here very often, so I apologize in advance if this is a regular question that’s been answered recently. Are there any recommendations for places (sites) for government lawyers looking to transition to private sector? Job boards, favored recruiters, discussions boards, etc? I’ve been on LinkedIn and am getting discouraged because the only contact by recruiters is completely unrelated to what I do or am interested in.

    1. Private sector meaning law firms, or meaning in-house? For law firms, I’d start off by reconnecting with law school classmates or former colleagues who are in firms. For in-house positions, I’d recommend doing the same and also checking out the Association of Corporate Counsel job board.

    2. I transitioned from govt to private sector (first a boutique firm, now in house) and it was not easy. I did use LinkedIn for research and informational interviews but ultimately it was my network that helped me transition out. Recruiters are not so useful for that, unless you have a portable book of business and are looking to exit to a law firm.

  21. To the commenter yesterday asking about Beatles tours (username was maybe something involving Houston?): a Beatles-related attraction that is also independently interesting is Chiswick House. It is a stately manor in London that has beautiful grounds, and it is where the Beatles filmed the promotional videos for Paperback Writer and Rain. You can tour inside the house, which has many interesting architectural features, and pretend you are at Downton Abbey. You can then walk around the gorgeous gardens.

  22. Does anyone use Triptiks from AAA any more? In the before times, people would get these to have directions on their routes….I am interested in this option to get to know the route and used in conjunction with Waze if it is better than “turn on the GPS and just blindly follow it” for a longish 8+ hour trip that we have only driven once years ago and there were various traffic challenges.

    1. No but this is giving me serious flashbacks to my late 80s/early 90s childhood. For a long time when I heard people refer to three-paneled art pieces as “triptychs” I was so confused because I didn’t see what it had to do with travel.

    3. I don’t know if Triptiks are still a thing but definitely leave armed with a paper map or at least downloaded directions. I was recently almost late for court in an outlying county because GPS/cell service quit on me.

    4. I haven’t used the triptiks, but I always look at the google maps on my computer in advance and scope out the different routes. I always want to have a mental concept of where we’re going and different options if there’s traffic or weather (we spent a lot of time in the mountains) or want to check out different things along the way.

      1. Op here….that’s exactly what I do…scout ahead of trip…AAA still does triptiks it’s an option when you call to renew your membership…that’s how I found out. Probably still have customers using them…

    5. Girl it’s not 1982 anymore. Google maps (and probably Waze, but I’ve never used it) will automatically find the best route, reroute you when necessary, etc.

      1. I don’t even think Waze is really it anymore. What Waze did, which is predict traffic, is now built into all the maps. I use the native map on my iPhone.

      2. So yes, it will, but if you are the type of person that would rather drive 30 minutes more on an 8 hour drive so that you avoid a particular complicated stretch of highway, you’ll want to scroll through the route to look at how it’s taking you.

        Sometimes we add a “stop” that we don’t actually intend on stopping at to force G–gle from its incessant attempts to reroute us to the way that yes, is 10 minutes faster, but goes through a really irritating merge pattern that’s always stressful to drive through.

    6. I am 55 and never used triptiks – yes we used paper maps a lot when I was younger but regular maps were certainly enough even back then. Now these items are almost totally unnecessary, unless you are traveling in very remote locations where both cell service might not exist and no service stations or other helpful businesses exist – in other words pretty darn rarely.

    7. I use them, but I’m anti-cell-phone, and my car doesn’t have GPS (nor do I want it to).

        1. It answers the question, it explains personal objections to the alternatives others mention, it’s pretty straight forward. Sorry you have reading comprehension problems.

          1. Nicely done. Not sure why it’s a weird take. I often print out Google maps or use a hard copy atlas. It helps me to understand the layout of the roads (where different highways are in relation to each other, about how long between cities, etc.). I like having an idea of, e.g., the best route swings me around the beltway north of the city.

            Cell reception isn’t a guarantee. It can be stressful to be in a new area, in traffic, with multiple merges, and have the phone bleating at you and to not have any big picture sense of what you’re supposed to be doing. On long drives, you don’t always want to have the cell phone map on for 8 hours at a time, and I like having some big-picture sense of “we need to turn on the GPS in about an hour when we cross into Illinois.”

    8. If you need backup to GPS, you can always printout a Mapquest before you leave. (No opinion about Triptiks.)

  23. Such a basic questions (that I’m sure has been asked before, but I can’t find answers) – favorite basic black cotton leggings? I’ve been wearing Uniqlo for years, but they don’t seem to have just plain cotton/spandex leggings anymore, so I need a new alternative.

    1. Old Navy all the way for me. I personally like the mid-rise jersey leggings, but they have high rise and 7/8 options too.

    3. I have 32 degrees leggings from Costco. I cannot tell you the fabric content off the top of my head, but I love them.

    4. I saw some Champion cotton leggings on Zappos that look nice and come in a variety of inseams for approx $30

  24. I know doctors/healthcare workers are busy but waiting for test results is agonizing. Had a cardiac test just over a week ago. The dr. who did it [same hospital system as my dr but my dr doesn’t personally do that test] would give me NO results and kept deferring to my own dr. saying he’s known you for 25 years . . . . Written report appears on a portal on Saturday from the procedure dr, doesn’t look THAT bad. Radio silence from my own dr. I message them Tuesday, again Thursday – zip. Call today and I’m told oh the dr. has to call you – but no one can tell me when . . . . Thing is this dude is VERY quick to let you know when things are fine – he either puts a message in the portal or tells his main nursing assistant to reach out. So yeah we know how this is going . . . but the fact that others are handling it like suspense filled movie and it’s my actual life/health, I’m unimpressed. Good thoughts please or prayers if that’s your thing for some result that is more like I wanted to talk with you about what this means but we’ll just keep monitoring, not something actually bad.

    1. In my experience, if it’s something really bad/dangerous they tell you fast. Hoping all is more or less fine and the doctor is just being slow!

    3. I hate this too, but rest assured, if it was really bad news they’d have called you right away.

      I waited on pins and needles for a call from my doc on a biopsy and finally called his office. He called me back and said “I can’t find the report right now, but it was benign, nothing to worry about.” EASY FOR YOU TO SAY! But honestly, if it had been bad I know he would have called me right away.

      This was before the portal days. Thankfully that doc retired (not a moment too soon) and now I have a much more communicative doctor who actually uses electronic medical records.

    4. It is very frustrating. But you need to recognize that these aren’t normal times in healthcare. The shortages are real. Staff turnover right now in many specialities is between 30-40%–try running an office that way. Now add in the hospital factor that many specialty offices are dealing with as they schedule and reschedule folks thanks to the hospital teams being short staffed and the massive backlog from Omicron.

      And having normal or semi-normal results means you won’t be pushed to the top and you already can see that was the case by your own admission. Instead of assuming that your results are being handled like a “suspense-filled movie,” maybe recognize that your physician will want to interpret them for your particular health and answer the questions that you note you have.

      I sympathize–I receive a blood test every 3 months to determine if circulating DNA makes it likely my cancer is back. Result turnaround has gone from 1-2 weeks to over a month with the lab alone (aside from whatever is going on with my oncologist’s office). Results of the test mean whether I need to upend my life and go on chemo.

      But instead of worrying about them “impressing” you, maybe you ought to be thankful they’re even showing up and dealing with pressure from every side right now. No one likes the wait game. It doesn’t mean you rage at the overworked doctor and staff right now.

    5. Yes, this is awful and infuriating. I’m sorry you are struggling to hear from your doctor.

      One good thing … they generally don’t release things to the portal if they haven’t been ok’ed by the MD for release, so released results are generally ok results. I know that still isn’t reassuring to you, but it’s something.

      What I recommend is when you get a test, try to ask the doctor ahead of time how long it should take to get the results, how/when you will be contacted, and/or should you make an appointment in person after the test to discuss the results. Honestly, for very important results it is best to come in and discuss them in person. That’s why a lot of people with cancer get lab tests and scans done on the same day as an appointment, so they can be discussed immediately. And phone calls are really not appropriate for getting the most information/answering questions you need. Everyone is rushed, not prepared, call is too short…

      Otherwise, try if you can to realize that many doctors are very busy, and there are a TON of very sick people out there right now who are being neglected. Chances are you are in better shape then them, or you would have been called already, so try to be patient, especially since you are lucky enough to have had the results pre-released to you. I know two family friends that died during these past two years not because of COVID.. but because of falling between the cracks and having the medical system overwhelmed and not able to care for them properly. But with that in mind, you MUST be your own advocate and keep bugging/asking for help. Good luck.

      1. This is no longer true. Results are released real-time. It is a huge topic for healthcare providers – patients often see the results before they do. There are some special circumstances where results are held back, but it is rare.

      2. Yep, no longer true. Doctors have 24 hours to release results via electronic portal, whether the original doctor that ordered the tests has reviewed or not. It was part of legislation that passed and came into effect in the last six months.

        1. I meant to add that MRI, CT/PET and other radiology procedures may take the full time to be read/reviewed but I have received blood test results for me and for my husband (he was in the hospital) within 30 minutes via MyChart email notification and even before the nurses came to tell us the results. We received CT reports within 2-3 hours and MRI reports within 6. My son is a radiologist and they read and review the reports very quickly and get back to the ordering doctor’s office quickly, especially for those patients in the ER or inpatient.

          Back to the OP’s point, though, she has seen the report in the portal but just wants the doctor to give his/her interpretation. And as both hubby and my father were in the hospital in the last month, we saw patients “boarding” in the ER hallway for hours and my husband couldn’t get an ICU bed because the ICU was full because of – you guessed it – unvaccinated covid patients and those with covid breakthrough infections. The hospital and medical system is overloaded still.

  25. I was today years old when I found out Ketanji Brown Jackson and Paul Ryan are related by marriage! (Her husband’s brother is married to PR’s sister)

    3. He put out a statement supporting her nomination to the court. One small bright spot!

      1. That one’s less random. Stanley was introduced to Emily’s sister Felicity through Emily. I believe they first met at Emily and John K’s wedding.

  26. Happy Friday. I get to leave the hospital after Chemo IV in approximately 26 hours. And then only two more left! What are you looking forward to right now?

    1. Congrats! I am so glad for you and sending hugs your way. I have a screening interview for a very interesting job today, which I am looking forward to.

    2. Hugs, Curious!! I’m rooting for you!!

      I’m looking forward to dinner with friends tonight and then a weekend with nothing on the schedule so we can mess around and work on house projects and take walks and just relax. Yay!

    3. Yay! Hope you’re feeling as good as possible, given the circumstances and enjoy being out of the hospital.

      1. Thanks, Anon. If you are one of the anons going through similar crap, warm vibes back to you.

        1. I am not, but I’m always touched by how much empathy and concern you have for others in the face of such big struggles yourself.

    4. Have tix to a new musical next Friday. Hooray! It’s in keeping with my goal to do more rather than buy more.

      2. Hear hear! Other than travel and being with close friends and family, seeing live theater is what I missed most during the pandemic. I declared 2022 the year of the Broadway show. I have tickets to six or seven shows already.

    5. Hope those 26 hours fly by! Best wishes to you!

      I got Jimmy Buffett tickets this morning for a show in July. I know it’s a long way off, but we’re already planning how we’re going to decorate my car and what we’re going to wear — I think it’s going to involve a pirate flag, pink flamingos and DEFINITELY grass skirts. I feel like I haven’t had anything to look forward to in so long, so…. FINS UP!!!!

      2. Omg this sounds SO fun! Enjoy every second – the planning is just as fun as the real thing!

    6. Sun came out! It’s Friday! And I’m doing takeout for dinner!

      Sometimes it’s the little things.

      Best of luck, rooting for you!

      1. Takeout for dinner and sun are the best! We had a sunny week here, too, and my hospital room had sun, and it was lovely.

    7. Hooray!!! You are a warrior!

      I’m looking forward to the moment after my exam tomorrow when I only have one class left in my master’s program, and this miserable one is OVER. And the baking bender I’m going to go on (bread! lemon bars! almond paste! blueberry muffins! date bars!). And maybe a hike with DH and doggo.

      1. Ohhhh I remember that moment in my master’s program and feel you so hard on this. Enjoy the baking. I want all the crusty bread!

    8. Yessss Curious!!

      I’m looking forward to my hair appointment that is at 3:30 – going a tad shorter (Pinterest says it’s a choppy bob) and getting the color toned.

    10. Yay! I am looking forward to signing off for the day and taking my weekly Friday Jacuzzi bath. I don’t drink, but I always have a huge goblet of sparkling cider while I’m in there.

    11. Woohoo! Cheering you on from afar. I’m looking forward to a friend’s birthday party tonight – they recently moved back to our hometown from the east coast, and it’s been so much fun getting to see them more.

  27. For a nice neighbourhood restaurant I would likely do a sweater dress and boots (fairly casual but reads that you made an effort). If you go jeans, I would dress it up a bit with heeled booties and a pretty blouse and some delicate jewelry.

  28. WWYD if you had family in the Ukraine? I have an uncle with kids and a wife in Kiev (they live there, but are not American). We have been urging him to leave for weeks, but they haven’t. Now he can’t (men 18-60 can’t leave), but his wife/kid may be able to. Anything I can do to help them? My mom and I are thinking of urging them to drive to Poland and then fly to one of our houses.

    1. I mean do they want to leave their dad/husband? Some families won’t leave even though women and children are allowed because it’s almost certain they won’t be together ever again. Also can you aunt do that drive from Kiev to Poland alone? Interviews with people who did the drive in the last two days suggest that it is long and harrowing with the threat of being bombed on the road [fortunately doesn’t seem like that’s happened yet though]. But yeah whoever can get to Poland if they want is probably safer though IDK if they can just hop a flight to the US from there – aren’t there visas involved which they don’t have and IDK how easily they can get them in Poland as non Polish citizens. If you want to help, offer money to anyone who can get to Poland – they’ll need to be able to stay a while.
      ‘l

    2. I think you give them the grace to trust that they are doing what they believe is best for their family even when it doesn’t align with what you think they should do. Extend the offer of your home as a refuge and offer assistance if they want it sure but do not put any more pressure on them then they are already experiencing. The hell they are going through is not something that the majority of us will ever understand thank goodness.

      1. This is the best advice. Offer whatever assistance you possibly can (monetary, a place to stay, etc) without pushing them to make a decision. I don’t think we could possibly understand the situation they’re in and I’m guessing it is also constantly in flux.

    3. I mean…I think it is pretty obvious at this point that anyone who can get out, should. So yes, I would do that and would do what I could to make sure they had access to funds, supplies, etc. after leaving Ukraine. And, if you’re the religious type, praying for them and for Ukraine to prevail and to strengthen the spirit of the Russians who are resisting the war.

    4. I don’t have advice, but hugs for you. That sounds incredibly scary and stressful for them and you.

    5. I would urge them to get out to poland and then offer to cover their flight to your house.

    6. I would make the offer, but trust them to do what is best for them. But, either way, before you urge them to come to the US, I would really look into whether it’s an option. I’m highly doubtful it is as simple as booking a flight from Poland

    7. Hi, I am the poster from yesterday who has friends and colleagues in Ukraine. While it is a difficult decision and every family needs to decide what is best for them, majority of my friends/coworkers understand the gravity of the situation and the fact it will not improve in upcoming days and most probably, it will just get worse. My male colleagues already had to join the army. After yesterday/this morning Russian attacks, it was nearly impossible to get out of Kyiv due to traffic collapse, multiple bridges destroyed and city encircled by Russian army. However, if they can get out, I would highly encourage them to get out. All neighbor countries /Poland, Slovakia, Hungary/ have opened their borders and are allowing everyone to enter. The queues at borders are long /Poland 18hrs, Slovakia and Hungary 3 to 5hrs/. They can still get out. Whether they stay or not will have zero impact on husband’s safety; and most husbands want their family to be safe. Even if it means to be separated for unknown period. If you need any help or information, send me your burner email and I will reach out. My company has formed a volunteer group based in Poland, I can help with getting information/check anything you need. Staying in Kyiv will be increasingly difficult, due to tight gas, rations, empty ATMs, limited tickets to train/buses. Urge them to leave now! Send them money if needed, plan the route for them if needed, do whatever instead of them just to make it mentally easier on them. It is war, it is not a small-scale conflict. It is immensely traumatizing for kids.

      1. This. If they can get out of Kyiv they should go, Poland/Romania/Moldova are all options. Your uncle will have to stay but it will be less stressful for him if he knows they are safe.

        That said, you can’t force them to go. Offer to buy them a plane ticket if they can get out.

  29. Friday morning boast: I Did The Thing with four days to go before the deadline!! And it only took two months of angsting about it and ten minutes of actually doing it. When will I learn???

    4. I learned Do the Thing is never as bad a Fear Doing the Thing from you, yet I still procrastinate these obnoxious tasks that cause me a slow burn of low level angst until I complete them and it was nowhere near as bad as I thought. So much easier said than done.

  30. Any recommendations for a sweater dress for someone with hips and a bit of a tummy? I actually ordered the Amazon one that was featured here but it wasn’t flattering. Wrap dresses do look good on me but it seems to depend on which one.

    1. I’ve never met a flattering sweater dress, aside from a pricey option at Club Monaco that had a flared skirt.

      1. I have to be honest, me too. I feel like these sound good in theory and occasionally on the model, but not in real life in real situations.

    2. I have an old ruched one from Express that is flattering if I wear spanx with it.

  31. Trip planning help!
    I took leave for a Mar 10-16 trip to Miami…but for various reasons, that trip is no longer happening. However, I’d like to keep the leave and still travel. I’m considering a few options and would love your recommendations for each/either! Note: I don’t drive, so somewhere walkable/good transportation/Uber availability is preferred.

    1) Cut the leave in half and travel somewhere Amtrak-able from DC. Currently thinking Philly.
    2) Keep the leave and fly out somewhere in the US. Would prefer a <$400 flight.

    Thanks!

    1. Philly weather could be balmy and lovely or it could be miserable damp rain, FYI. Makes it a great time if you’re prioritizing museums, art, and indoor dining, though many of our best restaurants will already be booked up (maybe you’d get lucky with an odd time on a weeknight though!)

      If you want to go warm, Palm Beach is super walkable or short Ubers. You can also rent bikes as there’s a lovely waterfront trail on the intracoastal side.

      1. What are the best restaurants in Philly currently, do you think? (DP, but I’m curious!)

        1. Oooh Philly restaurant recs, this is my wheelhouse. Vetri Cucina for Italian fine dining, Vedge for upscale vegan that doesn’t taste vegan, Vernick Food and Drink for upscale modern, Osteria for Italian that’s not quite as fancy as Vetri, Talulah’s Garden for nice “new American” that’s still approachable. I’m sure other people have more recs but those are my favorite that come to mind.

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