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For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. As I mentioned last week, Brooks Brothers' more affordable line, Red Fleece, has a ton of nice options for suiting. This gray chalk pinstripe suit looks like a great basic for fall — and the dress is doing that contrasting-stripe thing I like so much. Sizing is generally only 0-14, alas. The jacket (Pinstripe Stretch Wool Two-Button Jacket) is $198, and the pants (Tapered Pinstripe Stretch Wool Trousers) are $128; the dress (pictured in Pin at bottom) is $158. This navy/white pinstriped suit at Talbots comes in regular, petite, plus, and petite plus sizes. This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 10.24.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event, 30% off! Suits are included in the 30% off!
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything, and redeem Stylecash!
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – Friends & Family event, 30% off sitewide.
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off entire purchase, plus free shipping no minimum
- White House Black Market – Buy more, save more; buy 3+ get an extra 50% off
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Coral
I’m trying to buy more sustainably/ethically produced clothes, any brand recommendations?
I’m also finding prices a lot higher, which I expected, but what’s reasonable for ethically produced clothes?
AIMS
Everlane is pretty good if you like their aesthetic. H&M has a conscious line that is better than their other stuff. I also really recommend checking out vintage and thrift stores. You can’t really get more sustainable/eco friendly than that and, imo, the quality is often a lot higher for a lot less money. All the cashmere sweaters I have from thrift stores still look great years later whereas even expensive cashmere I have from the last couple of years pills and wears thin.
Anonymous
I find Everlane sizes small (I’m a 12 in mall sizes and I think I’m sized out of most of their stuff), if that’s a concern.
Aunt Jamesina
On top of thrift shops, eBay, Poshmark, and ThredUp generally have good finds and make it easier to find specific items than hoping you’ll get lucky at the thrift store.
Marshmallow
Amour Vert and Reformation are both great. Amour Vert’s silk tops are good for work, but most other items look more weekend-y to me.
It is expensive which is why I only have two or three pieces from those two brands, combined. I recently paid just over $100 for a sustainable silk blouse from Amour Vert and I think that’s pretty fair. You’re definitely pricing in the supply chain, not just the style and quality, so you’re paying a premium.
Re thrifting– check Poshmark, especially for Reformation.
Anon
Eileen Fisher is good for this, if you like their vibe. I don’t particularly care for the current collection – winter may improve but summer was very un-worklike. I have had better luck on eBay buying new with tags from past collections. I wear a lot of structured cardigans or unlined jackets with pencil skirts and silk tanks.
Anon
Oh, and the crepe ankle pants are everything. Everything.
Anonymous
I ordered two dresses from Red Fleece last week. I returned both – one was just too big, despite looking at the sizing chart and ordering my usual size. The other one fit but was not super flattering on me (the t-shirt type dress with ruching).
shamlet96
how did the sizing compare to other brands? i need some new suits for a long trial in November and was eyeing these since I love the dress + jacket combo (very lazy these days). I’m a 2 in J.Crew, Banana Republic, 4 in theory. Thanks!
Anonymous
I would order a 2, then.
Books
I’ve got some rewards to spend at my local bookstore and I’m looking for Xanax in book form — something engrossing that I can’t put down but no dystopian novels. I want something that will make me feel better about the world. What do you all recommend?
Never too many shoes...
Old now, but Wally Lamb’s She’s Come Undone and I Know This Much Is True both make me feel better about how life can come together in joy.
One Is Silver
How do you feel about something that acknowledges the heavy futility of life, but laughingly? Because Evelyn Waugh is great for that: Vile Bodies, perhaps?
Sloan Sabbith
My fallback for this is Harry Potter. Justice prevails. Resistance is success.
Otherwise- chick lit. Eligible is one recommendation.
Anonymous
+1 Eligible. Also The Royal We.
Kitchens of the Great Midwest,
Sloan Sabbith
Yup, all of those.
Anonymous
The Royal We is legit one of the worst books I have ever read.
Ellen
I LOVE Harry Potter! I think I have SO much in common with Sloan Sabbath that we could be soul sisters! YAY!!!
yoyo
I’m re-reading the entire Harry Potter series for just this reason. Next, I think I’ll re-read the His Dark Materials trilogy.
book rec
Where’d You Go, Bernadette? was hilarious and so hard for me to put down. Also, roundly endorsed by 15 book club members of various reading preferences!
Sloan Sabbith
Loved it.
Anonymous
This is why I read romance. Happy ending guaranteed.
Anonymous
For heartwarming romance, I like Debbie Macomber. Romance-based; few, if any, explicit s3x scenes.
I love romance: happy ending, easy to read, and entertaining plots. I am really liking Scarlett Cole’s novels right now.
yoyo
My recent Xanax books have been the novels Crazy Rich Asians and Start-up. I also really enjoyed The Year of Living Danishly, which is non-fiction.
Coffee Queen
Drug store romances…. my guilty pleasure is Harlequin romance. The plot is always is the same and I enjoy it for light reading
fashion advice?
Any recommendations for lower priced items for size 12-14, petite height, hourglass figure, with lower tummy to camouflage? I’m slowly adding to my wardrobe and thought I’d ask for recommendations since it’s so so hard to try to find a website with fashionable finds that’s my body shape. Plus, I tend to prefer classic styles/cuts without decorative buttons/flounces/ruffles/etc. and that seems to be all the rage lately.
anon
This is my figure exactly. Ann Taylor, Vince Camuto, Halogen, and Tahari petites are all good bets for work clothes (business casual or business formal).
Ms B
Kasper, available at Macy’s (mostly on-line) and Amazon. Lots of pieces that should fit and be work appropriate, but watch on the fabrics — some of them (particularly in the brights, I have no idea why) are poly and not in a good way. I am a 14-16 petite and got my last ensemble from them (jacket, dress, and pants) for something like $200 including tax for all three pieces total after coupons and eBates.
Batgirl
I just bought this dress on recommendation from someone on this s1te and love it. I think it would work for your figure as well. http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=8343700020008&cid=1008446&locale=en_US
NYE
For the past 5 years, I’ve been in a relationship and, as a couple, we would go to his friend’s home, where there was a huge huge fancy party which she is no longer going to be able to attend without him, nor would she want to be surrounded by all of his friends, considering. The relationship ended a few months ago and now I’m beginning to hear about people’s holiday plans. I have a friend coming to stay with me for Xmas (neither of us have family and both are single), so that holiday is covered. Any advice for an introvert who doesn’t want to feel the huge hole of her previous coupled up life, nor does she want to go solo to some local event to try to small talk with strangers. I don’t want to dread every conversation about the holiday for the next few months but don’t know what else to do.
One Is Silver
Concert tickets! Especially if you can convince a buddy to go with you. It’s perfect because you’re out doing a thing, but it’s not (unusually) expensive, and you don’t have to deal with the whole amateur hour drinking thing of NYE.
cbackson
I’m a smidge confused by the subject shifts – is this you or someone else?
OP
Sorry for confusion, same person, all me. I’m introverted, don’t like making small talk with strangers, and don’t want to spend NYE thinking about my ex and the fabulous party he’s at (or whether he brought someone there to hang out with all of “our” friends).
Anonymous
So you don’t go. Order takeout, watch movies, enjoy a relaxing evening.
Jane
Several people have commented on earlier threads that NYE is the perfect time to fly because flights are cheap and planes are empty. If you can, take a trip!
Otherwise, how about a NYE spa afternoon followed by a evening at home? (As a fellow introvert who hates parties and talking to strangers, this is what I would pick). Otherwise, invite a friend over and cook together or eat pizza and watch a movie so that you don’t have to feel alone. And go to bed early. Staying up for midnight is absurd.
LAnon
Could you take a trip somewhere? Sometimes you can find great deals on airfare by flying on Christmas or on New Years Day/Eve.
You could also start putting out feelers to various friends/family – just say, “Hey, I’m free on NYE for the first time in several years and looking for something fun!” I’m guessing there are a lot of people who haven’t really thought about it yet, but maybe a social media post in late October or early November (at the earliest) would yield an invite.
anon
I’ve been single for the last 6 holiday seasons (sweet jesus) and I know completely how you feel. Being the odd wheel with coupled family or chilling with my divorced parents and looking at everyone’s #perfectlife on #insta is the #worst. I am so so so so so thrilled that this year am going on an amazing vacation. Not only for the vacation itself, but also because I can tap out of all this unpleasantness and my unpleasant feelings about it. Could that be an option for you? Adventure, you get yourself out of context and out of your head, there’s no obligation to make small talk with strangers and being by yourself is the norm (or, maybe you can find a friend or family member to go with you).
Books
Stay in! Eat comfort food, watch Netflix, go to bed early. Works best if you have a cat to cuddle with. NYE never lives up to expectations anyway.
Anonymous
These are the exact times when I go out of town. It’s a long weekend this year, so my strategy is to find a beach, a hotel and a book. Even better if a friend comes along, of course. If beaches aren’t your thing, then you could head to a city!
Signed,
Another single lady spending lots of holidays alone
Anon
+1 for staying in! This is my second holiday season since coming out of a 5-year relationship (still single) and I’m planning to stay in this year. Last year I went out on the town with my sister, and, honestly, it never lives up to the hype.
One Is Silver
Friendships and politics/values. I know this has been touched on a few times lately, but I would love to hear more thoughts about it particularly in the Old Friends arena.
I’m thinking about a gal I went to high school with. She’s so kind, so generous, so loyal. She’s fun and silly and humble. She is sweet, and gives good advice but gently. But she is very anti-choice. I have a bit more time for her anti-choice stance than others, because she does walk the walk — teaches NFP (and does premarital counseling) through her church, worked as a NICU nurse, etc. But at the same time, she probably supports political things/politicians that are morally repugnant to me. (And frankly, that stance is pretty repugnant to me too.) I don’t discuss it with her, because I’m afraid to.
Should I? Am I in the wrong for avoiding, so that I can continue this relationship?
On the other hand, I have a friend with whom I thoroughly agree about political and social and moral issues — at least in the abstract. She is passionate and fun and she loves me very much. But she let me down in a huge, personal way recently, and then a few days later told me that she was pregnant. I was/am so happy for her and for her pregnancy (and I told her that!) but since that conversation we haven’t been in touch. And to be honest, have no idea if I want to resume a friendship with her (one, I guess, with one big dark spot on it) or if I’m done.
I guess the big unifying question is how do you handle friendships with imperfect people (which is, well, all people)?
...
I decide who and what is worth my time. If the friend who disagrees on one topic is a good person who is just tough to chat with on one topic, I decide if the topic is a dealbreaker. Either it is (so friendship has to end) or it’s not so I avoid that topic because neither of us is going to change the other’s mind. Same for being let down by a friend. If I can truly forgive, I do so and move on. If I can’t or if the effort to reconnect seems annoying more than exciting, that’s my answer too.
People are imperfect, but not everyone’s everything is worth my time/your time/etc. It’s not rude, it’s awareness that time is limited. No one wants someone in their life who feels forced or obligated to be there, so you’re doing both you and them a favor to decide this and proceed accordingly! :)
Anonymous
Well, I’m also very pro-life, like your friend; it’s likely that — just as you find her views “morally repugnant,” she finds your views morally difficult as well. I assume that she already knows you disagree with her? If so, please carry on with your friendship. Neither of you is likely to change the view of the other. And still, the two of you are modeling that adults can disagree and yet enjoy spending time with each other — a rare thing in today’s climate.
One Is Silver
I’m glad you said something here. You’re right, she probably has as much problem with my stance as I do with hers. I wonder if she worries about getting onto the topic with me…
meggsie
As a pro-life woman with pro-life friends, I would say “probably.” One thing that helps me is to remember what we actually disagree about, which is the facts of what abortion is.
My pro-choice friends don’t think it’s okay to kill babies. They don’t think it is a baby, or they think abortion falls into a self-defense exception to a general prohibition on killing (which we agree on) or whatever. Similarly, I (and most likely your pro-life friend) don’t think that the government should control women, just that the government should prevent women (just like men) from harming other humans.
So it boils down to a question like “is this this a human?” rather than “should women have rights?” or “is murder okay?” (which is how this debate is often portrayed, unfortunately). Different answers to that question, because it’s factual, don’t have the same implications for the answerers’ character that they do for the other questions. Anyway, that helps me! :)
Anonymous
IMO, and I realize I am probably the outlier given some of the things said on this site since the election last year, if this is not an issue that is up for discussion or argument in your friendship and you would otherwise be friends with her if this was something you did not know about her, then you just keep being friends. As you say in your last sentence, all people are imperfect. Even those who political stances align on all topics. Did she let you down with regard to a “choice based issue,” or did she let you down with regard to something completely separate from that? You can choose not to continue to be friends with her because she let you down, but don’t blame it on her politics if that’s not been the issue before.
One Is Silver
Oh, sorry, they’re two different women!
The anti-choice friend has never let me down — or at least not since we moved past high-school drama! :)
The friend who let me down… yeah. It might be harder to get past than I want to admit. :-/
Anon
I was just agonizing about this same thing yesterday. I have a friend who has always been fiscally conservative and voted GOP, but in the theme of being emboldened by the current POTUS has been posting some really hateful things on FB, which I wish I could unsee but I can’t. (Racist and misogynistic crap)
She’s having a milestone birthday this year and I not only won’t be helping to organize it (and a few years ago I would have) I won’t even be attending. I just gave my excuse to the organizer.
It feels awful but it’s like I don’t know her any more.
AnonZ
I think you handle this on a case by case basis. I see a lot of questions on this site about whether to continue or end friendships, and I think there are a lot of benefits to be had from just letting friendships evolve naturally. It sounds like your friendship with your high school friend is positive overall. If you enjoy the time you spend with her and don’t feel like you’re having to grit your teeth or bite your tongue, then just enjoy the positive things and don’t worry about potential sources of disagreement. If things come up naturally in the course of spending time together, you can be clear and honest about your beliefs, and see where the conversation and friendship go from there.
Similarly, with the second friendship, reach out to her if you want to, or let the relationship lie fallow for a bit if you want to. You don’t need to make a permanent decision; just let the relationship run its natural course. You may find that the recent hurt fades over time and you’d like to get back in touch, or you may find the opposite.
Stay in touch with the people you want to stay in touch with. Spend time with people you want to spend time with. Talk about things that are mutually interesting to both of you, and do things together you enjoy. Realize that all these things may change over time or even day to day, and try to let that happen as gracefully as possible.
Marshmallow
Weigh everything else you’re getting out of these friendships against the political element. You have to be an AMAZING friend to me in every other way in order to offset certain political and social views. And I have several friends who really are that amazing, and we disagree about really important things, and it’s okay. In contrast, I’ve distanced myself from many people in my life who hold views (think r@ci st or otherwise discriminatory) that just can’t outweigh the fact that they are nice to me personally. It’s completely just a case by case decision.
I also keep in mind that friendships across political and ideological divides are a powerful method for fighting extremism and sometimes even changing people’s minds. It’s not good for any of us to live in a bubble. And you can be friends with her without endorsing her anti choice views.
Never too many shoes...
I agree with the weighing but, for me, holding the view that I cannot make decisions about my own body is the same as thinking that white people are superior or that all trans people are potential bathroom attackers…it is a thing that cannot be outweighed.
Jane
The girl who lived across the street and I became best friends when we were 5 years old. We are now 40 and we are still friends (albeit not at the BFF level because our lives have taken us in different directions), and we text a couple of times per week. We could not be farther apart on the aborti0n issue. We each know the other’s position and why (we also disagree on several other issues). Frankly, there isn’t anything to discuss about aborti0n because neither of us is going to change her mind. So we don’t talk about it and we maintain our friendship on all the other topics to discuss in life. I suggest you do the same. I hope you don’t end a truly valuable friendship because you disagree about this topic.
If people only became friends with people who lined up completely on political issues, and they needed complimentary personalities and interests, etc. etc., I don’t know anyone who would have any friends! Some people like to debate their differences, and some people do not. I respect that. But otherwise I choose my friends for many reasons, and even have different people in my lives for different things. Some are reliable and are on my emergency contact list, while others are not. Some are fun for early morning workouts, and others like to go out for drinks. Some I talk politics with, and others I do not. But finding a wonderfully reliable friend who has proven her worth over a decade or more is extremely valable, and I’d just opt to skip the aborti0n topic when you talk to one another.
Anon
To answer I’d need to know how she let you down exactly. Some things I can forgive, especially if the friend had a huge personal thing going on at the time, like pregnancy discovery.
One Is Silver
Ha, her big thing was a wedding, so I should maybe make allowances.
Basically, I texted the guy who r*ped me and asked him not to come to her wedding (she knows this happened, they remain friends), he said “ok, i understand that, i won’t come” and when she found out I had done that, she lost it at me, like “it’s MY wedding, i decide the guest list!” I told her I wouldn’t/couldn’t go if he was there, but she wouldn’t hear of his not coming, so then, ok, fine, i made my decision and i was going to be sad about it and get over it and acknowledge that weddings are stressful… but then after the wedding she texted me like “ugh [that guy] was such a bum! [superficial complaints about his wedding guest behavior including that he did not bring a gift]! I wish you had come instead.” aaaand that really stung? And still does hurt? Like I *could* have come but you chose to have him there instead? And you are saying he’s a bad guy *now* because he didn’t bring you a wedding present, but he was still an OK guy after you knew how it went down with me?
And I would like to just slam the book shut on this whole part of our relationship and move forward pretending it never happened, but maybe it’s not possible.
Anon
That would be friendship ending for me. She sounds totally clueless.
Anonymous
OMG this woman sounds awful. Why on earth would you want to remain friends with her???
Sarabeth
I am as pro choice as they come and I would take your first friend over this lady, seven days a week and twice on Sunday. That is straight up horrifying.
Miss
That sounds horrible. I would definitely take a break from anyone who couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to go to an event where my rapist would be. You handled it as well as you could under the circumstances. I’m sorry you went through that and that your “friend” was so unsupportive.
Never too many shoes...
That was not at all what I was expecting. To be honest, I am having a hard time with the idea that your friend stayed friends with the guy at all knowing what he did to you. This is a good chance to dump her.
One Is Silver
Ha, I guess I appreciate the outsider confirmation that this *was* a crap thing for her to do.
Pretty Primadonna
I would dead this friendship immediately.
ToS
Take a break, with my blessing. She probably would not understand why military bases do not have fireworks on the 4th of July – it sets off too much PTSD. I’m sorry your friend is so clueless – or is so into herself as well.
The last straw before my break was my childhood friend went ahead of me to my Dad’s parish when he fell ill and described him as a formerly homeless person. To people I know and had been in conversation with . I’ve known her since third grade. She has an abrasive personality, but there was no grain of salt. There were years of patience with comments while drinking. It wore out. I’m on year two. I’m polite and cordial, but when she asked about carpooling (long time together, and she’s cheap) and was flummoxed that I hadn’t thought about spending the night (so she can drink as much as she wants in addition to the drive, I have kids activities early the next morning) – it’s her loss due to a lack of self-awareness.
She has lost my trust and I know my patience is thin. My time is precious, she has family and other friends who likely take her in small doses. Social media connections to my family has made it impossible to disconnect, but I am clear in my boundaries.
meggsie
Holy crap, that’s awful. If I were in your position I would never speak to her again (except maybe to demand the gift back, if you sent one?), regardless of what I decided about the other friendship. I’m so sorry!
One Is Silver
~sigh~ long answer in moderation.
Anon
I also wrote you a reply that is in moderation. In short I am taking a friendship break from someone with repugnant political views and it breaks my heart but I just can’t in the current environment. Hang in there.
Miss
I enjoy having friends who don’t have the same beliefs as me. I grew up as a non Mormon in Utah and it seriously sucked that some parents didn’t want their kids to be friends with me. I have and had many amazing friends, Mormon and not, and they have added to my life in more ways than I can describe. I don’t talk politics with most of my friends anyway and have had good conversations with friends on issues we disagree about. That isn’t to say that I wouldn’t block (and reconsider friendship with) someone who posts offensive crap on Facebook.
Anonymous
A few points:
1. Before I read your follow up, I was surprised that you described her as kind given that she is anti-choice. Someone who is anti-choice has no mercy for the path that others may walk in this life. They have no idea what it is like to desperately want your baby and have to terminate to save their twin and yourself. Or they do know and they think that their abortion is ‘okay’ or ‘moral’ it’s not like those ‘other women’ who just use abortion for birth control. Being anti-choice means that you think it is a choice that women make cavalierly and it is not. What if your rapist had gotten you pregnant, would she have supported you then? Or would she have insisted that you keep the pregnancy and raise the baby with him (only a few states have laws that allow a rapist not to receive custodial rights to a child).
2. And I have no idea how being an NICU nurse is any kind of credential to get to decide what happens in my body or any other woman’s body. That is not ‘walking the walk’ at all. Adopting a developmentally delayed older child who was abandoned by their mother because their mother did not have the capacity to care for them, is walking the walk. That is supporting adoption over abortion. That is walking the walk.
3. Inviting your rapist to her wedding is not kind. Complaining that you asked him not to attend is not kind. Entirely separately from the choice vs. anti-choice issue, that would have been friendship ending for me.
4. You described her as kind. She is not a kind person. You deserve better friends.
Clothes for 30somethings
Any advice for short women in their mid-30s with a non formal job? I feel like most clothing options are either “oh, she’s still wearing the clothes she wore in undergrad/grad school” or “aww, she’s wearing mommy’s clothes to try to look like a grownup!” I know I can pass for young to mid 20s and my work is pretty casual (editor’s pants and a solid color nicer tshirt are standard in my office), friends mostly have kids so jeans and t’s are pretty standard for them too. I want to be comfy but I don’t want to look like I’m trying to pass for 18 or 68 since I’m neither of those!
Anonymous
You’re in your mid-30s, the exact age when you can wear just about any clothing made for adult women that you want to. Can you give some examples of the kinds of clothing that make you feel like you’re a little girl in your mom’s clothes? (It seems like you’re feeling something subjective regarding what you’re seeing in stores, so an example of two might help.)
OP
I feel like that when seeing colored suits, business suits, long gowns, etc. It’s as if I still imagine myself to be around 20 years old so those clothes feel like clothes for rich ladies in movies or women who own pearls and are real legitimate grown ups. I feel much younger (likely because I am treated as such because I am perceived to be in my early 20s, not my mid-30s).
It seems like high school clothes transitioned to college well enough (tshirts, jeans, flip flops, sneakers), I understand how grown up women with business suit jobs require such to transition, but what about for people whose jobs and lives remain casual, sometimes very casual.
I want to look put together but not like I’m playing dress up either younger or older, though my budget isn’t so much more than what I had in college.
Anonymous
That helps! What I’d do: keep the jeans, but switch out the t-shirts for blouses, and switch out the sneakers for good shoes. That will up the “grown-up” factor while keeping it casual. (Note: a blouse is not a button-front shirt. Could be any kind of soft top — Loft has a lot of them, often on sale so you can get them inexpensively.
Or, keep the jeans and (great) sneakers, add a graphic tee, and top it with a good blazer.
Makeup, styled hair, and modern glasses (if you wear them) also go a long way toward making you look more put together.
Anonymous
Also, I’m much older than you, have worked in casual offices all my life, and have never felt the need for pearls, a colored suit, a business suit, or a long gown. It’s not an age thing — it’s a lifestyle thing. Those clothes don’t fit my life.
Rainbow Hair
Do you prefer pants or dresses? I am a dress person myself, and have found that avoiding fit and flare silhouettes (at work) makes me feel more grown up. I also find that being a little picky when I shop (like nothing where I will say “eh I can make it work” — it should work off the rack!) goes a long way toward making me feel like a grown-*ss woman.
Anonymous
Hi me, this is my exact struggle. I’m mid30s and look very young for my age, work in a fairly casual office, and struggle with what to wear. It would be easy if I could just put on a suit every day. I just don’t want to look young OR dowdy. I stick with neutrals, no busy patterns, no florals, and avoid lots of colour. Also I make sure my shoes are good – I notice the younger women in my office often wear cheap looking ballet flats, so I try to step it up in the shoe department.
CountC
I am 37, but look younger according to people who feel the need to comment on it (not complaining). I also work in a casual office, despite their attempt to make it business casual. Here is what I would do if I were you, pick one structured piece and one unstructured piece. So, a brightly colored pencil skirt with a blousy top, perhaps tucked-in in the front, but left out in the back. Or, pixie/ankle pants with an unstructured button down. The goal is to have one “adult” piece and one “young” piece. I like bold/fun colors or loud modern nflorals mixed with a more neutral color. Or, say, grey skinny jeans, a flowy Pleione top, and a moto jacket.
I hope that makes sense!
Pretty Primadonna
Other than the very good advise already given here, I would also “adult” up my style with accessories. Quality shoes, a nice bag and watch, perhaps diamond (or CZ) studs. And, I like pearls myself, lol.
Anon Associate
I really like this suit.
Question – what would you say is negotiable if you’re a lateral hire to a big law firm where salary/bonuses seem to be pretty standard?
Lateral
Signing bonus + your pro-rated year-end bonus. Moving expenses. I think that’s it!
Anonymous
I’m anon for this but I GOT A NEW JOB!! I haven’t yet told my current employer as background and all that are being run currently. I’ve only been at my current job for 10 months but I’ve basically done a sum total of 1 month of actual work while I have been here.
It’s a $35k pay increase (to be fair, the job is in a state with income taxes and I am currently in one without), title and responsibility bump and I get to work for someone that I really trust and think highly of. They will also be covering my relocation. I’m just super happy and I can’t tell too many people IRL yet.
Winter
WAY TO GO, YOU!!!! Good work. :)
Anon
Yay!
New Job?
Amazing!! Congrats!!
One Is Silver
HOORAY!!!
Anonymous
Thanks y’all! Appreciate you making me feel good
Jo March
yay!!!! congrats!
New Tampanian
YAY!!! CONGRATS!!!
New Job?
Rant/Vent:
I had an internal interview 3 weeks ago and was told I’d find out about the position by the end of the week. Two weeks later I was told via email that they wanted to make me an offer, but that our company was on a freeze and everything needed one more round of approvals, and to expect something by the end of *this* week.
I am going batty at work, because we’ve been in talks since April about this position and I’m ready to know whether the compensation package is enough to get me out of my current position & move across the world.
I have plenty to do in my current job, but losing focus! I just need some commiseration (…and the job offer to come through). I’m so focused on what could happen (offer, selling house, moving with a family, etc) that it’s hard to stay grounded on what’s currently going on at work. ARGH!
Anonymous
Hang in there! I’m the new job poster above. If it makes you feel any better I first started talking about the job I just got with the potential company in April / May and literally just got the official revised offer after a few negotiating volleys back and forth. I interviewed final round in July. By the time I get the background check / logistics sorted etc it’s likely to be October / November. It feels like most of 2017 was dedicated to this transition. I vote to cut yourself some slack for being less productive while still showing up to work every day / doing the necessary items.
New Job?
Well, I suppose it’s nice to know that your job took just as long! I was hoping for a shorter period of time – I feel like we had a bunch of false starts (ie, an “interview” with HR & two managers back in June that turned out to be an “information session”). However, I am on a timeline as I’m getting more pregnant by the minute ;).
I’m showing up and doing what I would consider job critical tasks, but dragging my feet on tasks that I would otherwise be able to accomplish. I also don’t have direct supervision, which makes it easier to slack off (and easier to feel guilty about it).
Anonymous
Hi all! Looking for some job advice – I’d been thinking about moving to Houston for a while, but then (sadly) Harvey hit. Does anyone have any perspective about how a local legal market is affected by a natural disaster? I’m sending lots of thoughts and prayers to those affected, but selfishly don’t know if this is a good or bad time to make a move.
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Officiallychic1
These pieces are designed nicely and makes a nice looking business or casual look as separates!