Holiday Open Thread

131 Comments

1. reposting from below – Unresponsive bosses – how do you deal? Stuck here in the office, everyone else is gone for the holiday, finally received an important piece of info for a potential settlement, was told how important this was previously, now have contacted boss via every possible way i can think of to ask how to proceed next (want to get something out today before holiday) and no response…just radio silence. Any ideas of how i can cover my behind?!?

   1. An email at about 4pm your time if you still haven’t heard that says: “Boss – tried to contact you via X, Y, and Z to let you know that A and B came in for the C settlement. If I don’t hear from you by COB, I’ll assume any action can wait until [next work day].”

      Then, if your boss is like mine, be prepared to get chewed out on Monday anyhow because how could you not have guessed that he preferred to be contacted via carrier pigeon on this matter??

      Good luck

      1. AT – I agree except that I wouldn’t send it at 4p.m., I’d send it at 3 to give him/her time to respond.

      2. Ugh. I left my firm mainly because of this. I swear when an attorney makes partner they forget what it was like to be a lowly associate.

2. I have a rental property on airbnb and I would love to hear what little extra touches you have appreciated at rental properties so I can make this place as great as possible. Fancy soaps? Nice towels and sheets?

   1. A decent hairdryer.

      1. Oh my goodness this.

   2. Nice sheets, plenty of soft pillows. One Airbnb host came to pick us up from the station which was amazingly helpful.
      Nice towels are amazing.
      A good hairdryer!

   3. I don’t know if it is possible for you, but we rented a house that had some deal with a grocery delivery company. We were able to order food ahead of time and have the fridge stocked when we arrived. The house was in the middle of nowhere on a beach and we didn’t have a car so it was super helpful.

   4. A functioning can opener! It’s amazing how often this is missing.

      1. !

   5. a nightlight in the bathroom.

      a corkscrew.

      menus for local restaurants or personal recommendations for things you like.

      Kitchen basics – coffee filters, olive oil, salt and pepper. It’s a giant pain to have to run out and buy coffee filters when you’re only there for a couple of nights!

   6. I’ve never used Air B&B, but I think a list of fun things to do in the area, good restaurants to eat at, and places to run errands/take care of emergencies (grocery stores, pharmacies, doctors, dentists, vets if pet friendly, etc.) would be really helpful.

   7. I loved the place that had a little folder with notes from the host, and from previous guests saying things like “the farmers market is two blocks south, and 4 blocks west, it’s held on Saturday morning, get the bread from X stand, it’s the best in the city!”

   8. Very basical groceries – butter, eggs, maybe bread in the freezer, coffee and cream. The Airbnb I stayed at in Iceland just left whatever food was leftover from the previous people. same with booze, which was maybe a little different because we weren’t going to fly back with it (well, we did. But traveling internationally I could see why somebody didn’t take 1/4 bottle of tequila). But you could spend just $5 or $6 at the store and get these things and it make a huge difference!

      Hair drier definitely. Phone charger. Power adapters if you are in an area where you get foreign guests. If you’re in an urban area, a little printout map showing the nearest grocery/drugstore. I also love reading little binders hosts put together on their recommendations for the area! And maybe small trash bags for dirty clothes. Just ideas.

      1. Err, basic. Pretend this is in English.

   9. Thanks all, these are great suggestions. I actually don’t even think there’s a hairdryer in the house – ooops! That will be fixed immediately. I will put together a folder with restaurant recommendations etc. The kitchen is fully stocked as I like to cook there myself (although, amazingly, one guest stole my cast iron pan – such a strange thing to steal).

   10. Leave the extra toilet paper somewhere obvious! :)

3. I was just catching up on yesterday’s post about racist in-laws. I just have to add that I think a lot of the comments were too harsh on the husband. I understand that ideally we should all be warriors for justice, everywhere. But I think family is a little different. True, his loyalty should lie with his wife. But I think there should be some sympathy for the fact that standing up for his wife might strain his relationships with his family. Maybe it’s the right thing, but it’s also a really hard thing.

   I think that poster needs some therapy.

   1. For heaven’s sake.

      He doesn’t have to ream them out to stick up for her. Just off the top of my head, he could:
      *put his hand on her back and say, “Would you like to go home now?” This is fine even if they just got there.
      *Tell the offender: “I am extremely proud of my wife and am thankful every day that she is in my life. I have no idea why someone this amazing chose me. Enough.”
      *if a generic racist rant, “I’m sorry for you that you feel that way, because the loss is yours.”

      Where did this idea come from that people get their panties in a twist when you calmly and respectfully stand up for your loved ones? People respect integrity.

      1. Preach.

   2. Relationships with his family are already strained if they are making racist comments about his wife. I didn’t see the original thread, but this strikes me as one of those many instances where someone doesn’t want to “rock the boat” or “make a scene” when in fact the other party’s behavior has already done just that.

      1. Disagree with Monday. Silence is acquiescence to me. I much prefer bridget’s non-confrontational approach. If you are calm and thoughtful, that doesn’t strike me as either rocking the boat or making a scene.

         1. We don’t disagree. I was saying that intervening in some way is right and necessary, and the argument for acquiescence doesn’t hold up regardless.

      2. Yup. Agree with Monday. Captain Awkward has smart things to say on this.

   3. Last time I saw my family I straight up said to one member “you are being racist and it’s disgusting, stop” and my husband is white. There is really no reason not to say something, I don’t want to preserve relationships with people like that. Especially if my spouse was a minority my words would have been much more harsh

   4. What you’re describing is a textbook example of emotional labor and people excuse husbands from doing it far too often but it’s seriously important

   5. She needs therapy to better accept people being racist at her?

      1. THIS. +1000. Part of being an ally is that you share the emotional work of explaining racism. A person of color has to deal with that all.the.time. It’s hard stuff, and I’m sure it’s hard for DH, but that doesn’t excuse not sharing the labor.

         1. * explaining. And calling out. And otherwise fighting.

            I suppose I’m assuming DH is an ally, but I hope that’s the case :)

4. I’m looking for audiobook recommendations from the hive. I’ll be driving ~16 hours this weekend, probably with my sister. We’ve listened to the Harry Potter books, the Stephanie Plum books, Sara Paretsky’s VI Warschawski books, , Julie James’ attorney romances, and most of John Green’s books. Generally, I like mysteries with a female protagonist, especially when she’s smart and/or funny. I get bored with literature/classics in audio format (even Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere – read by him! – put me to sleep). The sister likes historical fiction and all things British.

   TIA!

   1. I’ve never listened to the audio versions but I love the Pink Carnation series by Lauren Willig which I think would satisfy both your preferences!

   2. the Maisie Dobbs series is fantastic! Mystery series set in the time between the two world wars in England. Female protagonist. I cannot recommend enough!

      1. Maisie Dobbs for sure! I also enjoy the Her Royal Spyness series for a lighter mystery series that is also British set between the wars.

   3. I am really enjoying the Outlander series on audio book. The narrator is one of the best I have heard.

      1. I was thinking the Outlander series would appeal to both you and your sister. I’ve never listened to the audiobook though, so glad to hear it’s enjoyable.

         1. Good call! I love Outlander and she hasn’t read it.

   4. Where’d You Go Bernadette. Had me laughing on my last car trip.

      I love the dress but have absolutely no need for a sparkly dress.

   5. Crocodile on the Sandbank, though I have never listened to the audio book. It’s a bit of a mystery and romance about an English woman who inherits money from her father and decides to travel to Egypt to indulge her passion in Egyptology. There’s a whole series and they’re rather charming.

      1. I love Elizabeth Peters, but prefer her Vicky Bliss series, which is a bit faster-paced.

   6. Kate Daniels series by Ilona Andrews

   7. Dana Stabenow’s Kate Shugak series. Excellent narrator.

      The Lost Prince, by Seldon Edwards, focuses primarly on a female character and might appeal to your sister. It’s the second in a series but I think it will stand alone.

   8. If you liked Sara Paretsky’s VI Warschawski books, try the Sue Grafton’s “A is for Alibi” series. She just released X so if you want a series, start at “S is for Silence” or somewhere before X. It’s got a female lead heroine and she’s entertaining with a good heart. Series is set in the 1980s so she doesn’t have the use of a cell phone, internet or GPS to save her from the bad guys who are trying to get her.

   9. Sarah Cauldwell’s novels – Thus Was Adonis Murdered, The Sirens Sang of Murder, and two others.

      British author, murder mysteries, barristers, some funny/clever writing.

      1. Second his recommendation. Witty and with references to the classics and other erudite subjects, yet still light reading. I enjoy looking up the references I don’t get and learning new things, though it does slow my progress through the book. I wish there were more books in this series. It’s one of my favorites.

         1. “this” not “his” suggestion. Phone typing. Ugh.

   10. If you like Julie James, you might try Penny Reid’s or Laura Florand’s romances.

5. My partner’s company has a massive formal holiday party every year where they rent out an entire hotel or big venue and invite every employee (and a plus one, making it hundreds and hundreds of people). There are open bars, food buffets, DJs and dance floors, live music sometimes, last year they had silk acrobatics over the main floor… Seriously over the top. The men wear dark suits and the women usually wear formal-ish holiday party dresses with a good mix of long and short skirts throughout. It’s usually a Saturday (sometimes Friday) night and runs from the early evening until midnight.

   Last year I put together a really snazzy outfit but ended up having to leave after about two hours because I had something going on early the next morning. I really want to wear the same outfit this year, but I’m concerned people will notice since this is the only time I see most of my partner’s coworkers ever. It’s somewhat distinct but it’ll have been a year so I have no idea if anyone would remember it, especially since I was there so briefly.

   I definitely don’t ever have any other events that I can wear this type of thing, so 1) I want to wear it to get to use the pieces for once and 2) I don’t have a replacement outfit on hand and will have to purchase something, which I really don’t want to do for financial reasons.

   So: Can I rewear, or do I have to buy something?

   1. Rewear it, hands down. It’s not worth your time, money, or effort to get something new when you love what you already own. Even if there’s lots of photos and you think somebody may notice. “Those who mind don’t matter, those who matter don’t mind.”

   2. Rewear all the way.

   3. Yes! I doubt anyone remembers what other people wore last year. I’ve worn the same LBD to the last 4 holiday parties and no one mentioned it.

      1. And if anybody noticed, they certainly don’t care or didn’t have the poor manners to say anything!

         I occassionally will notice when somebody rewears something. Thought to self: “Oh, Jane wore that dress to Sara’s wedding! It looks great on her.” What I do: go say hi.

   4. I could not tell you what any of my husband’s co-workers wore to last year’s event if my life depended on it (come to think of it, I couldn’t tell you what I wore either). Unless it was such a strangely unusual dress that people would remember it for years to come I would be shocked if anyone remembered.

   5. Yay! Holiday Open Thread’s! I love Holiday Open Thread’s and the Nordstrom Party dress. It is gorgeous and if my tuchus was a littel smaller, I would buy it. I recomend it to anyone in the hive with a smaller tuchus, because this time of year, with all of the eating and eating and eating we will be doeing between now and New Year’s, we want to make sure our tuchuses do NOT start lookeing like a shelf (even tho that is what some guy’s like Gonzalo want our tuchuses to look like). FOOEY!

      As for the OP, yes you can wear it again. At these kind of holiday extravaganza’s, we tend to get sauced early, b/c of all of the great food and wine, so no one will remember you in that party dress unless you did something weird, like passed out or danced like Elaine from Steinfeld. But you did NOT! You left early, so your dress (and you) were totaly forgettable.

      If peeople were lookeing at you and your partner all along, that would be another thing, so you should just ask yourself if the women were stareing at you b/c of your partner. Onley if the answer was yes should you be concerned, but I doubt you were that much of an attention grabber, so go for it and wear it again!

      This weekend we are goeing out to Mom and Dad. Grandma Leyeh already told me she is disappointed I have NOT gotten married yet, and not even gotten a boyfreind. She want’s me PREGNANT this year, which is not possibel unless I meet a guy tomorrow! FOOEY on that. All the old reliabel ones have found other women to have sex with — even Sheketovits is haveing sex with a woman I grew up with in Port Washington. She was always cute, but had some issue that did NOT cause men to be attracted to her. Evidenteally, Sheketovits finds her bed-worthy, and they are goeing at it every day according to Mom — she knows her mom, who told her all about Sheketovits (like I even care).

      So for all of the HIVE, have a WONDERFUL Turkey Thanksgiving! And Kat (and Kate)– you too! We are always powerful, as long as we stand up for each other! YAY!!!!!

   6. Unless you were the person in the 5″ light up platform heels, no one remembers. That said, none of us remember what she wore, but those shoes will live on forever.

      1. Walnut wins.

   7. Unless you showed up in something crazy (head to toe gold sequins, JLo’s green dress, tiger costume,etc), nobody will remember what you wore.

   8. There are still office holiday parties like this?

      1. Right?? Tech company. Every year I think to myself “these people have entirely too much money” but it’s free for me so I’m down with it.

      2. Yup. And they’re awesome. Live band and a DJ in different rooms, different types of cuisine in each room, signature cocktails.

   9. Personally I would not rewear the exact outfit in front of the same group. Some people do remember/would recognize it especially if they were just introduced to you, and even if they don’t I just wouldn’t be comfortable/confident.

      1. I mean, even if someone did recognize it, what’s the worst thing they would think? Oh, Soandso is wearing the same cute outfit from last year, she must not have many fancy holiday outfits? Especially at a tech company I can’t imagine anyone judging someone negatively for something like that. Seriously, even royalty is into re-wearing outfits these days.

   10. Nobody remembers. Re-wear, and again next year, honestly.

   11. It’s been a whole year, I doubt anyone would recognize it. And if someone did, I doubt they’d care. Unless there are pictures of you in the dress somewhere visible in the office, or it got a ton of compliments, it’s probably gonna fly under the radar.

       But is there a way to “freshen” up the look just in case? Maybe different shoes, or different jewelry you can pair with it?

       1. Unfortunately not really, the most notable thing is the blouse. Skirt, shoes, and jewelry were basic and unremarkable. The blouse is the thing I really want the chance to wear again! I shopped around forever for that thing. It’s sparkly and notable on its own, but not extremely so and even less so next to all the other sparkly outfits you see at a holiday party (… I think).

   12. Do you remember what any of the other party goers were wearing last year? I bet you don’t. I’d wear it again.

       1. I don’t in the slightest! But I tend to not remember or notice things like this and I know some people absolutely do, and I wasn’t sure if this was a no-no I wasn’t aware of. Sounds like it’s not though, woohoo!

   13. I can’t remember what I wore on Monday, I doubt anyone will remember your outfit. Re-wear and have fun!

6. My family requires a detailed (including a URL!) list of what I want for Christmas this year. I am trying to come up with some ideas at different price points so they can send the list to other relatives too.

   I am thinking of asking for:
   Kitchen towels
   Yoga clothes and mat
   Pajamas
   Potato ricer
   Blender
   Juicer
   Mascara (drug store brand)
   good vegan recipes for single me
   New ipod playlist (for my miserly brother)

   Any one have some other good ideas? What do you ask for?

   1. I would add lash primer to your list (the Dior one is fantastic). It will make that drugstore mascara look like a million bucks.

      1. Thanks! I will add that to my personal shopping list!

   2. If you make an Amazon list you can add things not-from-Amazon to it, and you can delete and add things and the list will update. So send folks that one Amazon list URL and you can play with it.

      1. Good idea. I might do that and then email a link to my parents. They would probably have to print it out for the older relatives.

   3. Cookbooks
      2016 desk or wall calendar – Paper Source makes a foil letterpress one that I love
      Candles – I’m always too cheap to buy nice-ish ones for myself, but I really do love them
      Shoe organizer

   4. I’m asking for noise cancelling headphones this year.

      Do you bake? Replacing worn out cookie sheets or pans can be good at a variety of price points. I got new nordicware cookie sheets and silpat liners this year and they make me happy every time I use them since they aren’t all warped or covered in some sort of residue like my old ones.

      1. +1!
         Plus vegan cookbooks, unless you already have a lot that you like, or mostly pull recipes online. Maybe: Thug Kitchen, VB6 (Mark Bittman), Heidi Swanson, Oh, She Glows, or the My New Roots cookbook (Sara Britton)? I suspect many of the Ottolenghi cookbooks and River Cottage Veg would be useful/adaptable as well. Maybe also Deborah Madison’s Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone and/or her Greens cookbooks, though obviously not strictly/entirely vegan.

         Subscription to the Purple Carrot — the new vegan meal/box service patterned on Blue Apron and similar?

7. I got a friend an engagement gift, and now she’s registered for almost the exact same thing. It’s not something generic that you can always use more of (like dishes or towels). It’s a pretty specific, somewhat non-traditional item that is more decorative than useful, and the one she registered for is very similar to the one I got her. She has a very small registry (approx. 25 items), for what it’s worth, so it’s not like she’s just registering for everything she can possibly think of. I’m annoyed and I’m wondering if I’m just totally off base. I’m not going to say anything to her either way (she’s my oldest friend and this is definitely not worth ending our friendship over) but would appreciate perspective.

   1. Maybe she simply made an mistake? Maybe her husband added it to the registry and didn’t know? Maybe she really does want two (one for a vacation home?) The problem is you have NO idea why she registered for it.

      1. Dutchfan is right. Perhaps she broke it, lost it or her mother just had to have it so she gave it to her mom?

   2. Maybe she lost/broke the one you got her but loved it so much she had to have another? Maybe she loves it so much that she has to have 2? Maybe she made her registry before she got your gift and forgot the same thing was on there?

   3. Did you give it to her or have it shipped? I’ve definitely not receieved gifts before that were purchased by people from my registry…

8. Can anyone in the Dallas area recommend a day spa or nail salon in the uptown neighborhood of Dallas? I’d like to purchase a gift certificate for my SIL for Christmas, and she works in that area.

9. Living right next door to the train – am I crazy for considering it? The good news is… I’ll be a 5-10 minute walk to the station. The bad news is… I’ll be facing the tracks with a measly little fence in between.

   (for SF Bay ‘rettes – the stations I’m referring to are Mountain View Station and San Antonio Station). I mostly worry about freight trains, and not quite as much Caltrain.

   1. Are you near a road crossing? I was able to adapt to the train itself but not the horns and bells. The freight trains are long but no more noisy than regular trains.

   2. I wouldn’t buy property next to the tracks, but have rented a few. I got used to it really quick and it doesn’t bother me, but depends on your sensitivity. I think living that close to the station and downtown would be worth it. :)

   3. Don’t do it! I lived next to the Emeryville Amtrak station for 3 years and it was absolutely miserable. Triple-pained windows and new construction couldn’t keep the noise out.

   4. I live very close to train tracks, though not in the Bay Area. You are right to be worried about freight trains. They rumble through at all areas and shake our walls. I don’t mind so much, but I’m a heavy sleeper and have gotten used to it. (And my answer might be different were I right next to the tracks.) The thing I have not gotten used to is the overnight track work which happens every few months and is often very loud, construction-type noise overnight. So you may want to investigate and see whether there is a schedule for lots of track work in your area.

   5. I lived facing the Menlo Park station for a year. Was totally fine. In fact, I liked the sounds and quickly didn’t even hear them anymore. It became my urban/suburban ocean….. I am not ultra-sensitive though. Didn’t bother my sleep.

      But I was doing my Internship at Medicine at Stanford. I was totally exhausted and never home.

      But I LOVED my location. It worked for me.

   6. I rent downtown and am pretty near the tracks of the central downtown station. I think one adapart to the noise because I hardly ever notice train sounds anymore. It is extremely convenient, and I tend to prioritize convenience over any other factor when choosing a place to live so YMMV.

      1. Erm, adapts* to the noise. Yikes.

10. Holiday whine/feelings dump ahead – my dad is driving 15+ hours to my state from his to do Thanksgiving with his new wife’s family. He did not tell me this until I asked him (my sibling told me). Then invited me down. This was last week. I had at this point made plans to spend the holiday with my best friend’s family. I talked to him today and he basically said they don’t have time to come up and see me. (I live in a major metro area about 3.5 hours away from her mother)

    Now for Christmas, he wants me to drive 4 hours each way to spend the day at my grandparents’ – at best I could spend a couple hours there if I did that because I’m dogsitting, so it doesn’t seem worth it. I literally just committed to the dogsitting last week because my dad wouldn’t give me a straight answer about his Christmas plans. I’m not going to leave my friends I said I would do that for up the creek now, plus I can use the money (dogs’ parents are getting married next year out of town, so it will go to that fund) “But I know that’s hard for you, so I’m not pressuring you” except he brings it up every time we talk.

    I am just bummed. I’ve been to visit my dad a ton since he moved, probably half a dozen times this year. And I am not trying to be tit for tat, but he has only been to see me once and it was when he was already in town for a job interview. We had a late lunch and then I dropped him off at the airport. I am upset that they can invest 24+ hours of drive time to see her mother but not me. My relationship with my mother is tumultuous at its best and I do not visit her, so it’s really just me and my dad (and my sibling).

    Yes, I see a therapist. I am just feeling down during the holiday season. And I am excited about going to my friend’s because his family is lovely and treats me well, and I am making an amazing dessert, but it’s just more, “look at this happy family” and wonder why mine is so broken.

    1. I promise that all the happy families are not always picture perfect. My parents are married and live 5 minutes away from me but I can barely stand to spend more than two hours with them at a time. They are genuinely nice people, I just can’t understand some of their decisions and don’t agree with a few aspects of how they live their life. Parents aren’t perfect – they’re human. It’s okay to be offended but take it as a reflection on him not you. If you weren’t awesome then you wouldn’t have great friends to spend the holidays with.

    2. Agree with anon above. My parents are great people but honestly, I’m trying to see if there’s a plausible way I can get out of seeing them over Christmas. Family dynamics are tough sometimes and you can never tell which families are broken and which aren’t.

       Signed – the woman who appears to have a great, loving close relationship with her family but has barely spoken to her only sister in a year and a half.

    3. Sorry. If it makes you feel any better my dad sucks, too. And he got suckier after my parents split up. He used to really upset me, and I went to therapy to deal with it for awhile. But over time I learned to just detach. What worked for me is to just not let myself think about all the crappy things he did, and when he did something crappy I forced myself to think things like, “Yep, so typical. There he goes again. Saw that coming.” It just helped me control my reaction. Our relationship is far from good (really, it’s pretty superficial), but we talk to each other and I’m not constantly upset about him.

    4. No advice, just commiseration. My parents have also asked me to make major travel plans to see them without visiting me or thinking through what my itinerary would be. Driving 6 hours round trip just to sleep at Mom’s house instead of Grandma’s and spend 1.5 hours with her husband’s family? Nope. They are lovely people but nope, not gonna do it.

       My dad is also prioritizing his girlfriend over my sibling and I this Christmas. We are explicitly not invited.

       It sounds like you don’t want to make the drive. That is okay.

       If the only thing stopping you is the dog, can you bring the dog to Grandma’s? I know this greatly depends on the dog and your family but I would propose it as a compromise.

    5. I feel you. My mother won’t visit me for any reason, she always has something better to do and any flimsy excuse will do. If I go to see her she’s happy, but she doesn’t ask me to and absolutely won’t make the trip to see me either. It really gets to me. After all these years you’d think you’d get used to the ways your parents can let you down, but it never seems to get that much easier. And I’m like you, whenever I see other families doing the things I wish I could have it really twists the knife.

       It helps to know that’s the way they are and it doesn’t have anything to do with you, but only a little. Wish I had more advice to give.

11. A long-distance but very close friend announced his engagement three weeks ago and just got hitched this morning. They’re not registered anywhere, but I’d like to send a gift. Any suggestions? FWIW, they’re two artsy types in the Austin, TX area.

    1. Restaurant gift certificate?

       1. +1 – this was one of our favorite wedding gifts.

       2. +2

       3. Ooh ooh see if Uchi does them (I think they do). One of my favorite restaurants in Austin, very intimate and a nice dinner for a new couple.

          Assuming it still exists I guess, I moved away many years ago.

          1. It does! It has locations in Dallas and Houston now too. Not sure about gift cards but I would think you can.

12. Is Black Friday likely to be the best price for a KitchenAid or should I wait until after Christmas? (Purchasing for a friend’s wedding next spring, so no rush). Must be purchased from Amazon because that’s where the registry is.

    1. Amazon has some early deals now.

13. Which would you pick? Current MBA student, if that helps.

    A) http://www.amazon.com/Franco-Sarto-Womens-Holmes-Stone/dp/B00WMCAQKI/ref=sr_1_17?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1448488417&sr=1-17&nodeID=11721153011&keywords=grey+leather+boots&refinements=p_72%3A2661618011%2Cp_85%3A2470955011%2Cp_n_size_browse-vebin%3A1285113011%2Cp_n_feature_four_browse-bin%3A2055868011&psc=1

    B) http://www.amazon.com/Ivanka-Trump-Womens-Black-Suede/dp/B013XU1F7U/ref=sr_1_1?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1448489715&sr=1-1&nodeID=679337011&keywords=hota&refinements=p_89%3AIVANKA+TRUMP

    C) http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/lucky-brand-bartalino-stud-embossed-leather-bootie-women/3727901?origin=category&BaseUrl=Booties

    D) http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/mtng-originals-maci-suede-bootie-women/3827970?origin=category&BaseUrl=Booties

    1. B)

    2. A.My Franco Sarto shoes have been very comfy.

    3. C. I like the contrasting materials. Def not D.

    4. I bought the Franco Sarto Linden (from Nordstrom) in the gray leather and they are sooo comfortable. The leather is so soft and I’ve already worn them to death.

    5. Not to make things difficult or anything, but I’d pick D).

14. I am trying to find a leather jacket in pink, nude, or ivory, hopefully one that doesn’t cost a king’s ransom. I have had no luck so far. Does the hive have any suggestions?

    1. On the off chance you’re in Canada or can travel there, try Danier Leather. I got a great ivory leather jacket at their store in Montreal for $299 Canadian.

       1. Thank you! This is perfect!!!

15. Mattress question. How long do you expect your mattress to last? And does it make a difference with the new one-sided ones that do not flip? We bought a one sided one, reputable national brand, and there were pits where each of us slept by year four. I’m looking to replace it next week and just looking online it seems like most premium quality brands have gone to this one sided thing (will buy in store but was scoping things out online). Seems like the old style mattress that flipped lasted longer. Or did I just get a dud? I don’t have a problem dropping some serious cash for a good mattress that lasts, but premium money for a four year mattress made me unhappy. Is this the new norm? DH thinks this is just how it is now and I’ll be hollering “get off my lawn” next. What is y’all’s experience please….

    1. I think you got a dud. I have a one-sided mattress that doesn’t flip and that I only rotate every few years (when I move), and even so I am on year 15 with it. I am just starting to notice a slight indentation where I have been sleeping the last five years, so I will likely get a new one in the next year. Still, it has held up well. I think it is a Simmons.

    2. I think you got a dud. I have a one-sided mattress that doesn’t flip and that I only rotate every few years (when I move), and even so I am on year 15 with it. I am just starting to notice a slight indentation where I have been sleeping the last five years, so I will likely get a new one in the next year. Still, it has held up well. It is a Simmons Beautyrest.

16. I have this blazer from Banana Republic and I’m looking for styling suggestions. Open to buying something new to go with it at Thanksgiving sales.

    http://bananarepublic.gapcanada.ca/browse/product.do?vid=2&pid=722768003

    The problem is I’m in Canada where we wear black and grey to court so I can’t wear black pants/skirt/sheath dress with it or it looks like I’m dressing in court clothes for a normal day at the office (not exactly a stylish vibe).

    Help!

    1. Also in Canada, and I don’t think anyone would mistake that blazer for a court blazer. Personally, I’d style is with black separates to create a” column of colour” (black blouse, black ankle pants) plus coloured shoes, or I think it would be beautiful with a burgundy or emerald green blouse.

       1. Thanks! Will try with burgundy, don’t think emerald green will work with my colouring though. I wouldn’t wear this to court, it’s more than when I’m dressed in chambers dress so much I feel like I don’t want my regular office clothes to look too similar to that.

    2. Also in Canada and agree that it’s not likely to be confused with robes, and is borderline too casual for court. I can totally see you rocking it in provincial court (or the office) with a brightly coloured or black sheath dress, black tights and heels, but I often see legal aid in cardigans, so my baseline is perhaps more casual than is strictly required. (How hard is it to put on a blazer in lieu of a cardigan?!)

       1. I litigate a lot of applications so usually in chambers dress (court clothes but no robes)and same thing here with legal aid and the cardigans! Do not get it at all

          Love the idea of a coloured sheath dress underneath and grey tights to match the blazer but I can’t think of what colours work with that tone of grey – I guess pink or cranberry?

          1. SO glad it’s not just me. Maybe it’s a prairie thing?

             Depending entirely on your colouring, what about kelly green or cobalt blue, or even navy? I like the yellow with it but feel like it’s not really seasonally appropriate.

             Or, because I love a dress with sleeves:
             http://www.thebay.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/en/thebay/womens-apparel/wear-to-work-dresses/amaris-three-quarter-sleeve-day-dress

             or http://www.thebay.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/en/thebay/womens-apparel/wear-to-work-dresses/three-quarter-sleeve-shift-dress-4096-38731338–24

             I tend to use grey as a neutral and wear it with everything (today with pink and black!)

             Alternately, skinny jeans, booties, floaty top, long necklace?

17. Anyone have a good housecleaning company they use in the Palo Alto/Sunnyvale/San Jose area?

    I was thinking of buying my brother and SIL a gift certificate for a house clean for Xmas.

    1. If you’re still looking try Maid Brigade in Redwood City. I think they go as far south as Sunnyvale.

       1. Thank you LeeB! Yes, I am still looking. I really appreciate the recommendation. I will see if they will go to Sunnyvale.

18. Anyone see ‘the dress’ for meteorologists? Made me laugh and think of this community. Plus I think it’s actually a pretty nice dress

    1. I actually loved the dress and only didn’t buy it because I thought it would been known as the meteorology dress

19. Hi everyone!

    I’m an uni student in my last semester and I just started working in an office. The dresscode at the office could be described as business casual, most women are wearing trousers, blouses, sometimes also dark jeans.

    But the thing is, I don’t like wearing any types of trousers at all, since my legs are on the shorter side and my waist-to-hip ratio makes it really hard to find fitting jeans, I’m pretty much all year in skirts and dresses. But it feels like nearly everything in my closet right now is not fitting for work.

    So now I really want to build up a working wardrobe. How to wear skirts and dresses in a business casual office, a jeans skirt would be underdressed, but a skirt suit on the other side would feel overdressed.

    Help would be really appreciated, thanks!

    1. I feel pretty casual in a pencil skirt, flowy blouse, and cardigan, but I don’t know if that would still feel too formal for you – flats help dial it down a notch, as do opaque tights (easier in winter).
       Also flared skirts are a little more casual than pencils.

       Maybe try Zara for more casual work tops to pair with your skirts? Looser boyfriend cardigans would also help, maybe?

    2. I would keep the accessories simple and the shoes simple. No high heels. And just balance out a dressier skirt with a more casual top. A T-shirt with a skirt. More cardiagns than blazers.

       And honestly, it’s never bad to be the best dressed person! As long as your personality is appropriate and work product is good, be who you are!

20. some of the stuff is beautiful and they’re also Black Friday-ing.

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