Corporette.com

Updated: Feb 25, 2020 172 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Insulated Wine Bottle Carriers

Coffee Break |

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

I got a few insulated wine carriers like this a few years ago, thinking they would be nice for gifts and the like — but I actually use them so much by myself that I think I've kept them all. They're great for keeping wine cold, sure, but I also keep one in with the bags I take grocery shopping — then if I buy a bottle of wine or anything else large and glass (jar of spaghetti sauce, jar of pepperoncinis or whatever) the cashier can just put the wine or jar in the insulated bag to keep it from breaking. This set is 3 for $11.99, at Amazon.  This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Anon

    Any advice for supporting a cross-country friend through a miscarriage? She’s having a difficult time with it – it took them 10 months to even conceive, and then she lost it on week 9 (I know early, and I know there are far worse stories, but it’s still hard for her). I sent flowers, and some supportive texts, but not sure what else to do (I’m in NYC and she’s in SF if it matters).

    • Anon

      FWIW, 9 weeks is early in the overall pregnancy but has a relatively low miscarriage risk (4% or so chance of miscarriage once you make it that far).

      Tell her you’re thinking about her. Give her a call in a week or two.

      • Anon

        Yeah. Anything after 20 weeks is a stillbirth, not a miscarriage and most women consider 12 weeks the safe zone so I don’t think 9 weeks is actually all that early. I think if you’re 8 weeks along and have heard the heartbeat the risk of miscarriage is only 1%, compared to 25% at the beginning of a pregnancy.

        You sound like a good friend. I think continue to call and text and checking in on significant dates, especially the due date if you know it, would mean a lot.

      • anon

        Yes to these comments. Any pregnancy loss can be hard. Just because there will always be people who have experienced later or more severe losses does not diminish her grief. And FYI, even though 1st tri loss is relatively common, loss later in the 1st tri after seeing the heartbeat is much less common, as these commenters mention.

    • Sherry

      Check in every few weeks. A call helps but a visit might be better. I just needed someone to hug me through it (besides a supportive spouse, who is male and just won’t get it) but didn’t want to bother anyone especially cross-country.

    • Anon

      No matter when a miscarriage happens, it hurts. My favorite things my friends did for me was to send me things to spoil me – a new eyes hadow pallete, bubble bath, etc. The best thing? A set of Himalayan salt shot glasses.

    • anon

      Send food — meal delivery (seamless or I don’t know if there is something SF-specific, I am sure there is). Handwritten note.

      And of course no “at least you can get pregnant”-type comments.

  2. Laundry Detergent Rec

    My doc and I are pretty sure I’m having a bad skin reaction to Tide laundry detergent. I haven’t had an allergic reaction to anything ever in my entire life. I’ve used Tide before but not for a few years until I just bought it last week (store was out of my go-to) and wham… head to abdomen rash for five days and counting.

    For anyone with sensitive skin: recommendations for a dye free, scent free detergent I can grab at my grocery store or Target? Recs for how to cope with this? I’m grabbing some Zyrtec at my doctor’s recommendation, too. This is the pitts.

      • brokentoe

        Same here. A sensitivity to Tide is not at all uncommon. I have no other allergies or sensitivities either and I use All Free and Clear as well.

        • OP

          That’s what the nurse said. She goes, “let me guess: you switched to Tide?” and she was spot on. It’s a very common irritant evidently. I really hope that is what it is and it’s as simple as switching detergents.

        • Not a Rash, but Crazy Nose Reaction

          I use All Free and Clear or the Trader Joe’s version (no scent).

      • Worry about yourself

        That’s what I use as well. I’d read somewhere that Tide isn’t good for your clothes anyway, something about eating away at the ends of the fibers, so I was like “okay then, All it is!” If you work out and need something to battle BO on your sweaty gym clothes, Hex also has a dye-free, fragrance-free version that works well.

      • Anon

        Same. I use the Arm and Hammer unscented dye-free. It’s a cheaper version of All Free and Clear and my husband loves the cheaper version of anything. (He does all the grocery shopping precisely because I would buy the All/name brand version of thing)

      • Coach Laura

        All Free and Clear is what I use. I hate Tide with a passion. I tried the Costco Kirkland All Free and Clear knockoff and reacted so I don’t take substitutes.

      • Pen and Pencil

        Same, also use All Free and Clear! Also, BF used Tide before I met him. I made him switch to a dye and scent free detergent for his sheets because it breaks me out, and his “definitely not irritated by the detergent” back skin definitely cleared up within a month after switching =)

    • Bean74

      I’ve used Method’s Free and Clear Unscented for the last 2.5 years and it’s worked fine, even for infant clothing and bedding. You can find it at Target.

    • Anon

      I use Tide Free and Gentle. I have asthma, tons of allergies and generally sensitive skin, although I’ve never had a reaction to laundry detergent specifically, as far as I know. Target and our local grocery store have tons of “free and clear” options.

      • Anemone

        Same, Tide Free and Gentle is the only formula that my husband with severe psoriasis tolerates.

    • Anon

      I have used All free and clear with no issues, and Arm and Hammer has one for sensitive skin that I’ve used. Caveat — I use unscented products because I don’t like the scents, not because the others give me a skin reaction. My sister does have sensitive skin and has been fine with those products when she’s stayed at my house. I remember reading a few years ago that for most unexplained body rashes, dermatologists start with “Are you using Tide? Stop using Tide.” I guess it’s rather notorious.

    • Anonymous

      Has anyone used soap nuts? Those are supposed to be great. We use the huge sensitive skin detergent from Costco but it isn’t great for measuring.

    • anon

      I’m allergic to even the “hypoallergenic” laundry detergents like Free & Clear. One of the few ones I can use is Dapple Baby Detergent – I order it on Ama*zon.

    • EM84

      I developed allergy to a brand of fabric softener I was using for 10+ years (terrible, itchy rash all over body and face). I switched to Ecover laundry liquid gel and softener – laundry comes out clean and soft every time, even when I wash on low temperatures. I also like their SLS-free dishwashing liquid.

    • Anonymous

      I react to Tide but use Gain, which isn’t dye-free, scent-free. Just an FYI that you might be okay with other types of typical detergents.

    • MagicUnicorn

      Arm & Hammer or Purex work for me, usually the unscented versions but the scented ones don’t make me break out so I will get them if that is the only thing in stock.

  3. Anonymous

    Anyone else feel like there is NOTHING special about summer once you’re an adult? I was talking to a bunch of coworkers who were talking about things they’re doing/are on the list for this summer — not just a vacation but more like — making my own ice cream; hiking at x park; going on y long scenic drive.

    Am I the only one who feels like it’s the same slog as the rest of the year but at 100 degrees+? Do you do anything to make summer feel special? It’s just occurring to me that we’re already 1/3 of the way through it and I have done literally nothing out of the ordinary.

    • anon a mouse

      I make a summer bucket list. Not extensive, but enough to mark the season. A few things on it:
      – leaving work early once or twice to go to the pool
      – farmers market for amazing peaches and tomatoes
      – long walks in the evening when it’s light so late (often to the ice cream shop about a mile away)
      – weekend hiking
      – long weekends with friends for Memorial Day and Labor Day
      – lots and lots of grilled dinners

    • Anon

      I really make it a point to go to local festivals and such. Yes, it’s a sweaty mess, but you have to just make time to do the stuff. I went to the most darling small town craft fair this past weekend.

      Does your area have those free tourist magazines / event guides? I pick one up every month and see what’s going on.

    • NOLA

      I’m trying to be more spontaneous and just run out to my friend’s house in the evening to float in the pool. I’m pretty much welcome any time, so I just need to do it.

      • NOLA

        Oh, and bizarrely enough, we had a few days of lovely weather with low humidity, so a friend and I took the opportunity to eat outside at a restaurant and to just tool around Magazine St. and go in shops. We normally couldn’t do that this time of year!

    • Mpls

      My office does Summer Hours (go home at noon on Friday, no Friday PM mtgs) to the extent a function can support that. And my state shifts into summer festival mode, where all the local towns have their summer Days (Rivertown Days, Raspberry Days, Rose Days, Grand Old Day, etc.) and then there’s a big State Fair at the end of the summer. People around here are more likely to get out and do stuff in the summer because the weather is nice – either parks/lakes locally, or heading up north to go to the family cabin.

      So, no. Summer is totally special around here, even as an adult. But that’s in part because it’s 100+ degrees warmer than it was 6 months ago, so we take the time to savor the difference because we know it won’t stick around.

      • Anonymous

        Just curious. This sounds like an ideal Hallmark channel kind of place. Can you say where it is without outing yourself?

        • Anon

          Not OP, but she is in the Twin Cities/Minneapolis (Mpls is an abbreviation for Minneapolis). These events are not all in one city. Each of the suburbs has at least one festival over the summer. If you live in an urban area, I bet you could find tons of festivals in your area. I’m in DC now, and the city itself has a festival almost every weekend and that doesn’t even count the ones in the suburbs.

          • Mpls

            Yup – Minnesota/Twin Cities. And once it hit 70 degrees, it was literally 100 degrees (F) warmer than it was the end of January. Minnesotans take their summer fun seriously. They also take the winter fun seriously. Well, most of them. And everyone still complains about the weather (that’s just the state hobby). But we also all know that it’s fleeting, so you need to take advantage of it while its here.

      • Mpls

        And lest anyone get the wrong idea, I left out the part about:
        – all the road construction that happens during the summer (2 seasons: winter and road construction),
        – the traffic from everyone going to/from the family cabins,
        – the mosquitoes, and
        – the immense crush of people that is the State Fair (still worth going to – 2nd biggest in the country, after only Texas. Where else can you find Clydesdale barrel racing?).

        But summer is totally what you make of it.

    • Anon

      It’s not special because you don’t make it special. Work gym home is a boring slog if that’s all you do. You have to do things to relieve the monotony of like. You can’t rely on other people to make life interesting for you. Do you need ideas on fun stuff to try? I’m sure this board can give tones of advice on that. Honestly, that making different ice cream flavors does sound fun.

      • Anon

        +1. Do you want to get out there and hike? Plan a hike the week before. It’s not going to happen if you’re not a regular hiker and you wake up on Saturday saying “maybe I should hike.” You need to pick a place, make a plan, and then enjoy the anticipation before the event as well as the event itself. Otherwise the entire summer will slip you by in a haze of bad Netflix reruns and takeout.

    • Rainbow Hair

      The number one thing I try to do is get in the pool. As often as possible, pool pool pool. I was on a trip once and a friend woke up and immediately put her swimsuit on, and I have always thought of that as the most vacationy way to live — not bothering with real clothes, just a swimsuit. So I try to do that, or something like that, when it’s really hot.

    • Anon

      This is one of the best things about having kids, imo. Summer is special again.

      • mascot

        Yep. Too lazy/hot to make dinner? Hey kids, let’s have ice cream for dinner. It’s a win for everyone and makes for great memories on top of it all.

    • Vicky Austin

      I feel ya. So far my best hack is doing as much as possible outside. Eat dinner on the back porch, watch the sunset with some lemonade, take my book out there, have a “picnic” lunch on the weekends, etc.

    • DCR

      I felt that way when I was in biglaw and it was probably true since I didn’t have time to enjoy the season. So, this year now that I’ve escaped biglaw, I didn’t to make a point to do fun summer activities. Things I’m doing include day-trip to the beach, hiking, kayaking, tubing, BBQs, beach trip, outdoor yoga and fitness classes, and a state fair. I’m also trying to work in some more low-key things, like ice cream after dinner in the backyard and reading outside. It’s made the season a lot more enjoyable, even if it still very hot and humid out.

    • SC

      I feel that way. It’s so hot here (in New Orleans) that I just want to hide inside my air-conditioned house. The only time I will go outside is if we’re swimming.So it seems like even more of a slog than other times of the year.

      I’ve given up on hikes and festivals and trips to the zoo and just go to the pool or find indoor activities. We go to the movies. We go to indoor museums and the planetarium. We stay home and do stuff around the house–art projects and science projects with Kiddo, cooking with all the summer produce, repairing or upgrading things in the house (DH and I spent last week basically reorganizing our house). It’s our “normal” time of year compared to Mardi Gras, festival season, football season, and the holidays–but I guess that’s OK?

      • Anonymous

        I’m in DC (not nearly as hot as NOLA but still way too much for me as I’m from up north) and I will say NO this time of the year is not special AT ALL. It’s kind of claustrophobic because I’m a big going outdoors person (even if just for walks) the rest of the year and now I have this 3 month stretch where I can’t leave the AC of home or work. I have my fun in the spring, fall, and winter (which people here complain about but 40 degrees is hardly winter temps). Problem is there is much less to do in those times of the year — fewer events, festivals, etc. and the whole world isn’t on vacation so you don’t necessarily have people to same those varied ice cream flavors with. Even when I was in biglaw (not in DC) I was one of those rare people who was super happy to grind out my hours in the summer if it meant that I could get some downtime come fall or winter.

        • NOLA

          A friend of mine (from NOLA, but lives in DC) was here this past week and we had uncharacteristically fabulous weather for a few days (not humid at all and not too hot). We were loving it and spent lots of time outdoors. She hated to go back to DC!

        • Katie

          I dislike summer in DC because it’s Tourist Season. Granted, there are tourists year-round, but it’s worse in summer and I live in a part of town where there are a ton of hotels clustered above a Metro stop and it can be a real mess when I’m just trying to get to work. The one saving grace of summer is that I have a plot in a community garden, and having loads of homegrown zucchini makes me smile.

      • CountC

        I can’t stand the heat, so I do not look forward to summer! I still do things with friends because I am not 100% committed to being a hermit/miser (although I want to), but I HATE being sweaty and hot. Spring and fall, I AM YOUR GAL. Although if there is a body of water involved, I am much more inclined to be outside.

    • Anonymous

      When I was single, summer = drinking outside, walking home at 2 in the morning because it was “nice out,” etc. Sunlight. Silly summer drinks like frose.

      Now I have kids and summer = logistical nightmare for childcare/entertainment. Even if I didn’t have kids all our friends leave town with their kids for extended vacations.

    • Worry about yourself

      Not at all! Summer is great for concerts, for outdoor activities like kayaking and paddleboarding, going to the beach (admittedly, easy for me to say living on the coast), driving out to my mom and dad’s house and having a summery drink by the pool, outdoor movie screenings and theater, outdoor markets with local businesses and artists, and beer and wine gardens. And living in New England, I eat way more seafood in the summer! I’ll admit, it depends on where you live, but there’s probably fun, summer-specific stuff to do where you are as well.

    • Lana Del Raygun

      I’ve decided to do my library’s summer reading challenge! Prizes are just things like a t-shirt/tote bag and then a Chipotle coupon, but there’s a new theme every year.

      • DCR

        I wish my library had an adult summer reading challenge!!! Where is this? I would love to see what it is

        • Portia

          I’m in Salt Lake and both the Salt Lake City Public Library and the Salt Lake County Public Library run summer reading challenges for adults as well as kids. The Seattle Public Library does a really neat bingo reading challenge that I always watch for and play along with even though I don’t actually submit my card for prizes.

          • Inspired By Hermione

            Yep, Seattle book bingo is great! This is my third summer doing it and I like the prompts they choose.

        • Anon

          I’m in a college town in the Midwest and my library has an adult reading challenge, but it’s really boring- it’s just checking off that you read a certain number of pages every week. I wish they had themes or bingo cards or things like that.

      • Anonymous

        Really? I LOVE that week. If you have vacation plans — great. If not — it’s that in between where most people don’t work and you have no idea what day of the week it is; it’s like being in college again even if all you’re doing is waking up at noon and eating cereal.

    • anon

      Summer is still special as an adult, but you have to actively plan for it! It’s not going to magically happen on its own.

    • Small Firm IP Litigator

      I am in SoCal, so the difference between summer and winter isn’t as drastic here, but I still think summer is special including as an adult. Maybe even more so because I appreciate things more now? I enjoy the longer days, and coming out of June Gloom, the sunnier skies and warmer temperatures. Proper beach days followed by shave ice or ice cream. Beach volleyball in a bathing suit. Warmer sunnier days at the pool. Wearing summer clothes. Surfing more often and in a lighter weight wetsuit. Wearing shorts on runs and bike rides. The feel of the sun on my skin. Driving with my sunroof open/convertible top down. Summer cocktails/rose. And STONE FRUIT. Canning summer fruits.

    • aBr

      Living in Texas, we endure summer but celebrate spring and fall (aka times of year when heat stroke isn’t an ever present threat). It took me a few years to get used to everything I think of as “summer” happening during different months.

      • SC

        Exactly! I think of the months of June-August here (in New Orleans) as more akin to winter in the Northeast/Midwest–take precautions to stay safe outside, or just stay inside for comfort. “Summer,” as in the time of year it’s nice to grill, sit on the patio, go for long walks and hikes, attend festivals, etc., happens October-November and March-April, plus a few days in September and May if we’re lucky. December-February is also a perfectly lovely time to be outdoors if you’re willing to wear a sweater.

    • Inspired By Hermione

      I enjoy life a lot more during the summer. No SAD, so life feels better. I love my city so I take long walks- two five mile walks this weekend, and it’s light enough I can take a two or three mile walk at night. Walk home from work, too.

      I buy flowers, cook more, and love traveling in late summer/early fall. I read on the patio or my building’s roof.

      These are all things I COULD do when it’s not as nice but I don’t because Seattle is cold and rainy October to May and long walks become miserable slogs when it’s pouring rain.

    • Anonymous

      Well do you want it to be fun or not? The fun fairy doesn’t just come down and fix life for you. I like summer to feel different so I joined a pool, I go to the beach several times, I walk to get ice cream at least once a week, I prioritize patio drinking etc.

    • Gail the Goldfish

      One word: peaches. And not just any peaches. No, the peaches from most places are unacceptable. I order them from the peach farm near my parents’ house in Georgia. Yes, I pay an obscene amount of money to ship myself fresh Georgia peaches in the summer (South Carolina peaches are also acceptable. If you have not had a fresh south carolina or georgia peach, I’m sorry, but you have not had good peaches). And that makes summer special every year.

      • The Good Wife

        I absolutely love peaches, but where I live we have peaches that are called “saturn peaches” or “flat peaches”. And they are divine, and it immediately makes it feel like summer.

  4. Anonymous

    Any recommendations for a lightweight collarless jacket to wear over dresses and with pants/tops in the spring and fall (and in the AC in summer?).

    I have a relatively athletic build with broad shoulders and practically no breasts, so I’d like to avoid anything with lapels, collars, embellishments on the shoulders (anything that emphasizes the shoulder area is pretty unflattering on me).

    Also don’t want leather or leather alternatives…would be too warm in my pretty warm climate, and I’m also looking for something lightweight to carry.

    I don’t know why, but I have been unable to find anything recently!

  5. Anonymous

    Any recommendations for a lightweight collarless jacket to wear over dresses and with pants/tops in the spring and fall (and in the AC in summer?).

    I have a relatively athletic build with broad shoulders and practically no b r ****s, so I’d like to avoid anything with lapels, collars, embellishments on the shoulders (anything that emphasizes the shoulder area is pretty unflattering on me).

    Also don’t want leather or leather alternatives…would be too warm in my pretty warm climate, and I’m also looking for something lightweight to carry.

    I don’t know why, but I have been unable to find anything recently!

      • Anonymous

        That’s what I was thinking of too, but as I’ve started working out more, mine no longer fit me in the shoulders so fit may be an issue too.

    • Anon

      The MMLF jardigan is kind of stretchy and looks nice with lots of outfits. I wear mine casually all the time because it fits my giant shoulders and not giant torso.

  6. Toaster oven cleaning

    My toaster oven was in desperate need of a cleaning. I found a can of Easy Off Fume Free (which is for non-self cleaning ovens) in my apartment and used it, and then I saw online that it’s not advised for toaster ovens. Have I ruined my toaster oven or is it still safe to use?

    • anon

      I think that is because toaster ovens are made of a lesser quality metal and the easy off can damage it. If it doesn’t appear damaged then it should be fine

  7. anon for this

    I was pushed out of my old firm a couple of years ago, complete with the typical unexpected bad performance review. There are probably many reasons I didn’t make partner there, including my desire to explore alternative career tracks, but at the time, I was told that my firm was not open to such things. Over the weekend, a friend casually mentioned that my old firm had reached out to her about working for them on a reduced-time basis. Apparently they’re desperate for mid- to senior-level associates now because so many people have left or been promoted. I feel punched in the gut – back then, I’d had lots of people tell me it wasn’t me, it was the firm – but clearly… it was me. It’s just past two years to the day of that conversation with my old firm, and it’s all been bothering me a lot lately (I’ve had a couple of nightmares about it). Any advice or sympathy? I have a therapist and my life is generally good now, although I still wish I could have my current life and have been successful at my old firm.

    • Anonymous

      The market for mid-level and senior associates seems to have gotten a lot tighter in the past two years, so it’s probably the market, not you.

    • Anon

      Honestly, just keep making progress with your therapist. Firms can literally cause PTSD that’s why so many lawyers leave the profession. The fact that you’re having nightmares about a job from two years ago is…concerning. Maybe up your appointments with the therapist.

      On another note, I encourage you not to take this too personally. Firms are businesses and businesses change their employment models as their needs change. Two years ago your firm didn’t need more mid to senior level associates and now they do, and even still only want part time. This is not a case of “you weren’t good enough” (and it probably wasn’t two years ago otherwise they would have asked you to leave long before you were under consideration for partner) but a case business needs changing and possibly the culture of the firm itself changing.

    • Anon

      I wouldn’t assume this means it was you, not the firm. Biglaw firms ignore an issue until they can’t anymore. I would assume that they were completely unwilling to work with people on reduced hours, until they realized that they had work that wasn’t getting done (and probably realized they had a gender issue). So, now, since they have no other choice, they will consider allowing people to work a reduced hours schedule.

    • Anon

      Lots of sympathy. But also I wouldn’t jump to conclusions that it was you. There are so many factors in hiring that have nothing to do with the candidate. Maybe she has expertise in an area they particularly need, or maybe someone thought of her because they’d just had lunch with her law school classmate. Etc. etc. I know this stings, but try not to take it too personally.

    • Cat

      If you were pushed out 2 years ago, but in the interim, the market has spoken — i.e., they lost people unexpectedly — maybe it actually wasn’t you, and the firm is reconsidering their stance?

      • Cat

        Adding: this is the natural consequence of the recession, when people started NOT going to law school because they saw the market for young attorneys tanking. The people who would be 4th-6th year associates now would have started law school in fall 2010-2012. Mass firm layoffs were spring 2009, and the hiring cycle was messed up for several years after that.

        • Anon

          I posted below and completely agree with this. I started law school in 2011, and there were no jobs for us. My law school typically placed 50-75% of its grads in BigLaw, and my year, I would say we had 25-33% graduate and get BigLaw jobs. We all ended up with jobs, but a lot took paths/jobs grads from my school normally wouldn’t have and started in small firms, state gov, in-house. People I knew from lower-ranked schools did not get legal jobs, period. There just really aren’t as many practicing lawyers in my age range as there normally would be.

        • Anon

          Years ago, a lot of us said this would happen: the big firms weren’t hiring and training people after the recession, so it would mean a dearth of midlevels around 2013-2016, and a dearth of senior associates starting around now.

          My next prediction: because the current crop is less talented than in previous years, expect a rash of terrible midlevels in three to five years. (Five years ago, schools started digging a lot deeper into applicant pool to fill their classes, and we are now seeing bar pass rates crater.)

          Not sure what the solution is – hire and train a bunch of 35 year olds who never got jobs when they graduated in 2008-2013?

    • Anon

      I really don’t think you should change your mind about what happened just because the firm is now desperate for people. One of my friends was in a situation like this– the firm kept pushing people out. Firm also was not sympathetic to anyone’s comments that they were burnt out, etc., so people kept leaving. (Part of why everyone was burnt out is that they were not properly staffed.) Now, they have almost no mid to senior level associates and are desperate for people. When my friend was there, he was pretty much told that he should be happy where he was, and that if he left, there would be a line of people waiting for his job. The market was so bad that the firm felt like they could treat associates terribly and people would still work there. Now that the market is better, they no longer have this endless supply of young, gullible lawyers and can’t staff the firm properly. My guess is your firm is the same.

      • Anon

        This. It’s a tale as old as time in Big Law (and long predates the ’09 recession for you younger folks).

    • Anon

      Can I just be honest here? Lawyers can be terrible business managers. They do things like..give bad performance reviews when they really want to do economics-driven layoffs. They lay off seasoned associates only to turn around 2 years later and realize they are short staffed.

      You should a little traumatized by your experience (as most people would be!), but please do not take this personally. The market is hot(ish) right now for mid-senior attorneys for many of the reasons articulated by other commenters, and firms are catching up.

    • Anonymous

      Please keep getting therapy! You are so much more than this one bad thing you can’t get over!!

  8. Country Club

    I live in suburban Boston – not Wellesley/Weston but still a nice relatively affluent corner of suburbia. We recently moved and are very proximate to a private country club. We’ve heard that there are many members in our corner of town and we’re interested in learning more, particularly about a social membership if such a thing exists. Neither DH nor I golf with any regularity (or skill), but I’d love to learn and would be wanting to take lessons at some point, but I’m not looking to join because I’m an avid golfer.

    We literally just moved so aren’t ready for any big investments but would love to get a ballpark for a membership costs and understand wait lists, etc. What’s the right way to learn more? Clearly word of mouth is best but our network in town is not deep enough to know who belongs/doesn’t or ask acquaintances about costs yet. TIA.

    • Anon

      If you do enough internet searching, you can find the cost.

      Wellesley Country Club is about $70k to join as a golf member. There is a lot to “If you have to ask how much it costs, you can’t afford it.”

      • Anon

        Not OP but OMG. Annually??? I live in the Midwest and I know people who pay $10k/year for country clubs and I thought that was a lot. (Although for the record, nowhere did OP say she couldn’t afford $70k.)

        • Anon

          No; that’s the initial buy-in; monthly dues are another $900+.

          The OP may be able to afford a club like Wellesley, but my point was that places without listed prices are crazy expensive.

      • OP

        Eh. Probably not in this case. This will out me, but whatever: it’s a 9-hole course in Reading. I know Bellevue in Melrose is 9 holes and the “Young Member” deal was $4,500 initiation. Not sure what monthly dues are. I’m 34 and probably don’t qualify for any age discount, but it can’t hold a candle to Wellesley.

        • Anon

          My hometown!

          It’s affordable; it’s not just the 4,000 sq ft house crowd who goes there.

          • OP

            Awesome! Glad to hear it. How about a waiting list? Are they welcoming if I just stop in to inquire? My hometown (South Shore) has a very exclusive club so that’s my frame of reference and desire to follow appropriate etiquette. We just moved to Wood End near Van Norden. Our old house had a pool and I’ve already seen lots of kids walking to and from the club with towels around their necks which makes me nostalgic for my hometown and my old pool, especially as the mercury hits 90 this week! My daughter isn’t even two yet but I have such fond memories of swim team and tennis lessons that I’m so interested in Meadowbrook. If I need to get on some kind of wait list I’d rather do it now than when we decide it’s time for swim and tennis.

        • Anon

          In that case, and assuming it’s not just on their website or easily found with a google search, I would just call the membership office and ask. Unless it is one of the really high end clubs, I can’t image they would bat an eye at someone asking.

    • Anon

      What kind of country club wouldn’t talk to you about memberships and rates if you approached them directly about it? Is this the sort of club where you have to be invited? I guess I just don’t understand how word of mouth is the best way to hear about rates, members often don’t pay attention to newcomer rates after they join so they’d probably be way off the mark anyway. You talk to other members about how they like the club, not about the financials.

    • Delta Dawn

      I would call the club, say you are considering a “social membership,” and ask who can tell you about that. A social membership at most clubs is where you join for everything but golf (you can still play golf there or take lessons, but will probably pay a la carte for golf related things). Plus, if this course is 9 holes, it is probably not a bastion of golf-awesomeness (most golf-intensive CCs are at least 18 holes and often have a third 9), so there are probably a lot of social members. Serious golfers are probably joining an 18- or 27-hole club.

      All clubs have a monthly membership fee. Some/most clubs have a one-time joining fee (it’s often staggering; in the South and Midwest they can be around $10K, but they can be much higher in higher COL areas). IMPORTANT: Ask if they ever have a membership drive, if they ever waive the joining fee, if they ever reduce the joining fee, or however you feel comfortable wording this question. Some clubs, especially post-recession, were/are desperate to maintain monthly membership dues, so they would hold “membership drives” and waive the hefty joining fee. You can also ask if they have a trial membership. I have a friend who is currently doing a “social trial membership” which is where they pay month by month to see if they like the club. No commitment and can drop at any time.

      Even if this specific club doesn’t do these things, these are normal questions to ask, so you’re not coming out of the blue when having the discussion.

  9. Anon

    I had a client tell me during a phone call today that I’m really good at my job. I can’t tell anyone else I work with without sounding braggy, but it made me feel good and I want to share. That’s all!

    • Cat

      Find a way to do it! Can you tell your manager/partner “good news on client X, they were really happy with Y today.” Your manager knows you’re the one handling Y?

      • Anon

        If what we’re working with the client on comes to fruition, I’ll definitely share with my manager. It’s also related to something I’m helping one of my direct reports with, so I also want to find a way for that person to get some kudos, too.

    • Anonymous

      Great job! I strongly suggest you cheer-lead for yourself at work though. I always tell my boss when a customer compliments me in a better than “thanks” way and I save it in a file for review time. Most of the time the customer is mad about something, so I take it as the compliment it is intended as. If I get them internally, I always tell my colleagues to tell my boss what a great job I am doing, and they actually do! I know I am doing a great job, but I also want my boss to know. :)

      • Anon

        Thank you for reminding me to update my “brag” file! If what I’m working with the client on comes through, I’ll definitely mention it to my boss.

  10. WeddingAnon

    Wedding planning help/advice/commiseration needed…I’ve heard from many people who had big weddings that they wish they had eloped or done a courthouse ceremony, but has anyone eloped and regretted doing a small wedding? Everyone around me keeps telling me I’ll regret eloping, that you only get one chance at having a wedding, etc. However, every time I try to make plans I get so stressed out by both the sheer logistics of large scale event coordination and the family drama. We’ve also gone through a big cross country move this year, and both of our new jobs are fairly stressful with lots of travel. Due to all these factors, for now, we’ve sort of settled on a morning wedding ceremony at our home church followed by a luncheon for ~60 people at one of our favorite restaurants. However even getting this “small” celebration together is causing so much stress. My fiance and I both have somewhat complex family situations, so doing “just family” would make it even more stressful, and while we could pay for a huge, traditional party to dilute the family issues, I have a hard time justifying the cost. The idea of being married is bringing me great joy, but nothing about planning the party is bringing me joy. My fiance wants to make sure I don’t have any regrets, and if we decide to move forward with a celebration he’s willing to play an equal role in the planning/execution, but even handling half the responsibilities on my end seems like more hassle than I want to take on. After writing all this, I’m not even sure what my question is. Maybe it’s how to process all these feelings about planning my own wedding?

    • anon in brooklyn

      I did basically exactly what you did—a small ceremony followed by dinner in a restaurant. But we only had 25 people at the restaurant, so even smaller. It was great. I had started planning the big traditional party, but then realized that not only did I not want to plan the big party, I didn’t even really want to GO to the big party. We loved it. And we also felt great joy at getting married, and not an ounce of regret for not doing the big traditional thing.

      • Senior Attorney

        Not me, but one of my closest friends had a similar experience. They eloped (hopped on the private train car that my husband and I and some friends had chartered as it went right through their home town, Universal Life Church Rev. Lovely Husband married them, we all had dinner on the train, they hopped off at the next stop) and planned to have a big party at some point later. But the elopement was so great, and they felt so happy with it, that they canceled the big party.

        They did take some flack from family but say it was totally worth it.

    • anon

      I’ve only been married for one year, so take it with a grain of salt, but I had a small courthouse wedding (with immediate family only) and couldn’t have been happier. That said, I’m probably a special snowflake b/c I hate having the spotlight on me and frankly found the whole wedding industrial complex ridiculous and a waste of $$$ (I know very few people share that viewpoint). If we hadn’t both been very close to immediate family, we would have just done it with the two of us, so if that’s what works for you, go for it.

      • Anonymous

        We did just the two of us and zero regrets. I share anon 4:13’s issues.

      • The original Scarlett

        I eloped and it was the best decision ever. Similar complicated family issues made a family only wedding more stressful, so we eloped and it was the most romantic day of my life. Cannot recommend it highly enough.

    • Anon

      Commiseration beyond belief. My in-laws are wonderful; my family is dysfunctional and sometimes violent.

      We did the wedding because my husband wanted it. I am glad we did it for him and because my friends had a great time.

      What helped:
      Short-ish engagement. Drama will start when you get engaged and continue throughout the process.

      “Wedding in a box.” Our venue did all the work of set-up, clean up, food, booze, dance floor, etc. I hired someone to drop off decorations and showed up.

      DGAF about “every little detail” or your “vision.” My standards were that things look nice, not that they be exactly as I want them.

      Get a Costco membership. Flowers, menus, invitations, you name it.

      Do not fall into the trap of emotional labour. People advise you to manage everyone, eg, if a family member gets up in your face about the decorations, you assign them the job of finding decorations, and coordinate budgets/ideas/etc with them. No. If your decorations are the flowers Costco sends you two days before the wedding, everyone is going to like it or keep their little opinions to themselves. Do not JADE; just say “This is what we are doing; I’m sorry to hear you do not like it.”

        • Anon

          Thank you!

          Other thing: if you have “complex” family situations, consider doing open, not assigned, seating, or vary the size of the tables for easier placement of problem people.

          Ultimately, what helped the most was the subtle distinction between bending over backwards to make people happy, and working hard to create a situation in which it was relatively easy for people who chose to be happy, to be happy. If you wanted to be a whiny little jackbutt, you do you, but there is no “squeaky wheel gets the grease.”

          (If this sounds harsh, please understand that I worked really, really hard to be equitable and loving to warring members of my family who disliked each other but wanted to be there for me. My mother and father can barely speak about the other without spitting fury, but were both happy for me, so I structured the wedding to honour them both. Both sat in the front row, separated by my flower girls and junior bridesmaids. His mother and my mother did readings; his father and my father did toasts. I literally spent dozens of hours looking for invitations upon which I could squish all four parents’ names on three lines. I asked both if they wanted to bring “plus ones,” even if those “plus ones” were a friend or two friends. But there were people who wanted to hold my wedding hostage in exchange for me kissing their arses, and I just ignored it. They were nasty little sourpusses at the wedding – my friends asked me, in hushed and horrified tones, WTF was their deal – but it’s not my problem if people want to waste their lives being nasty.)

      • Vicky Austin

        +1000. Don’t be engaged for forever, if you can’t drum up excitement about napkin colors then don’t, and use the phrase “______ is what we want” liberally.

        • Irish Midori

          Piling on to the short engagement. The drama will last as long as the engagement does. I was engaged for 10 weeks. Bought a dress off the rack, got married in my own church, rented a local family restaurant for the reception, and no one even had time to hate on it. It was lovely, and I don’t care if not everyone approved.

    • Small Firm IP Litigator

      Two people were involved to our wedding: me and my husband. I’ve been in enough weddings to know it is basically impossible to plan anything truly small, and regardless of size it is stressful and annoying. Spending down our savings, when we had significant student debt and were trying to save for a home, was also not something we wanted to do. I was also told I’d regret getting married this way. This was years ago, and no regrets – if anything, we are happy we had a quiet day together (courthouse wedding followed by nice lunch/spa) and can use the money as part of a down payment on a home.

      If you and your fiance don’t want this “small” wedding, you don’t have to do. Family will get over it, and if they don’t my view is “oh well.”

    • Anon

      I can’t tell if money is an issue or limiting factor at all. Assuming it is not, I would recommend finding an all-in venue for the wedding. They will have a basic wedding in a box program, and you will have a lot less choices to make. Unless you just want to have dinner at your favorite restaurant, having a reception at a restaurant is a lot more work – you have to do arrange everything yourself.

      Having said that, feel free to elope. I don’t know anyone who has regretted that.

    • Anonymous

      The key here is to make sure you are doing what you want to do, what makes sense for you, and NOT what you think you are “supposed” to do or what people tell you that you”should” do.

    • Anon

      Hire a wedding planner, a very hands on one, that’s what their job is there for – to ease the stress and time investment for you. A 60 person small ceremony with restaurant brunch will be super easy for a professional. If you can afford the big wedding, you can definitely afford the small wedding + wedding planner. If all of the stress except guest list is taken away (and that’s a one and done affair, decide and shove it off to the wedding planner), how stressful is it really to buy a dress and show up? The planner can literally do everything else. I met with my planner four times, an hour or so each over 6 mths, and she did the vast majority of the planning. Was super easy.

    • Anon

      Honestly, I felt like having a basic b reception at a hotel was very stress-free because everything was included and I didn’t agonize over choices. Smaller or more unique receptions require customization and more effort on your part. Wedding planning is really what you make it. If you need to pick out cake, flowers,dress, menu, etc it’s perfectly fine to not pick the “best” option – it’ll still be lovely.

    • Skipper

      I had a 60-ish person wedding at a restaurant. It was warm and intimate. The food was substantially better than catering hall chicken and still cost less per person. If you were to force me to have a regret it’s that I didn’t have a “dream dress.” I had something very simple and suitable for the occasion. But I somewhat regret not tracking down something perfect.

      Posters above mention how difficult it is to decorate a restaurant. It literally isn’t. Order a couple of floral arrangements, and you’re done.

      One thing I might suggest is a ruthless approach to “family” on the guest list. Conventional wisdom holds you should invite all family members at a given level of family, i.e., all cousins or no cousins. But if your family and your fiance’s don’t know each other, I think you can safely invite his cousins and not your cousins or whatever as appropriate. If anyone kicks up a fuss, you can always say something about how “poor Horatio isn’t blessed with the big family we are, so it seemed only fair that his beloved cousin Buffy got an invitation.”

      The surest way to avoid drama is to… avoid it. That is, do not involve anyone who is dramatic. If your sister is nuts, then do not talk to her about the wedding. Talk to her about the… Cubs? I dunno. Screen your calls. Send emails instead of texts. Build a buffer. If people ask you a direct question, change the subject with an airy “you’re so sweet to ask, but I’m sick to death of wedding planning. Would you please tell me the gory details of your bunion surgery? I’ve been wondering.”

      • Anon

        This is fantastic.

        “Conventional wisdom holds you should invite all family members at a given level of family, i.e., all cousins or no cousins.”

        If you have three aunts/uncles plus spouses, then yes, you should invite all or none. But if you have nine aunts and uncles, plus spouses, and only talk to two of them, I think it’s okay to not invite the other seven. People shouldn’t feel singled out by the lack of an invitation.

      • Anon

        + 1 to the establishing boundaries. MIL kept calling me for every little thing and would leave me voicemails every time asking me to call her back. She called me for help arranging babysitters for her nieces’ kids (who had not asked for help) and for nail salon recommendations for her aunt. (We had a big wedding.) DH eventually kindly explained to her that I was busy and that she should call him for all wedding-related questions going forward.

    • Anonymous

      I had a tiny wedding (14 people including us) with a month’s planning in a restaurant and then a sit-down lunch. I liked it for the following reasons: we could afford WAY better food than traditional catering, I don’t like to be the center of attention or have to be “on” for lots of people for a long time, I had very limited details to stress about and a limited time-frame in which I needed to stress about them. If I were to do things differently, I would have saved for a few more months and gone just a little bigger (maybe 50 people). I didn’t have everyone I wanted there, but we did what we could afford within the time constraints we believed we had at the time.

    • Elope

      I wish I would have eloped and I’m planning on doing an “eloping” vow renewal. My friends who did this most recently had a super cute dinner/come-and-go/say hello event in they city where most of us live and it was super casual and super fun.

      I so wish we would have done this and encourage you to do it!

  11. Anonymous

    How do you store liquor in your home? Hutch? Bar? Wondering what to do with random bottles of bitters and cooking liquers like crème de cacao and crème de menthe. (Other than make grasshopper pie, obviously.)

    • cat socks

      My husband is really into craft cocktails so he has lots bottles of bitters. I got a couple of decorative baskets to keep them together and stash the basket in a cabinet.

      We don’t have a bar, but there is a hutch in the dining room with lots of bottles. We also got custom shelving done to display some of the nicer, rare liquors that my husband gets from overseas.

    • Lana Del Raygun

      We have all the liquor on top of the china cabinet but I wish it were closer to the kitchen/sink/fridge.

    • Anonymous

      Um…we are both lawyers and have a nice house, but we store our alcohol on top of our fridge haha. Maybe it’s time to do something about that.

    • Anon

      We have an upper cabinet in our pantry that is harder to reach so the booze goes in there. We have DIY wine racks put together in the lower cabinets so we can store wine bottles on their sides. (The DIY wine racks are prefab pieces you can put together in any configuration – they’re like Lincoln logs or erector sets or some toy I can’t remember the name of)

      We also have a cabinet above our refrigerator that holds glassware we use less often, like margarita glasses, and we have a couple of taller bottles of booze with them.

      Basically we have so much booze that it is all over the place. NO RAGRETS

    • Senior Attorney

      We have a small antique hutch/cabinet type thing in the family room that adjoins the kitchen. My husband installed pull-out shelves inside and had a piece of glass cut to fit the top, and now it’s a liquor cabinet. Liqueurs and bitters and things inside, standard hard liquors in decanters on top. And because we are gigantic drinkers, we also have two wine fridges (red and white, duh), a beer fridge, and two rolling “booze trolleys” for the Costco sized bourbon and gin and such on the floor in the pantry.

    • The original Scarlett

      Bar cart – looks pretty and designed for that purpose. Big or ugly bottles over the fridge, but the nicer, better looking stuff in the bar cart

  12. Anon

    Question for the lawyers here: when you mark up the opposing side’s document, do you correct effected –> affected, principle –> principal and supercede –> supersede (and other similar ones)? I’m already annoyed with the other side (large corporate bully) and the petty little person inside me wants to correct these, but I also don’t want my client to feel that I’m making unnecessary edits . Do you go with petty or practical, or does it vary in each case? (FWIW, it’s a transactional matter (contract negotiation), so it shouldn’t be adversarial but it always is. Sigh.)

    “The rest of this Agreement shall in no way be effected.”
    “With a principle place of business at …”

    • Anonymous

      Yes, I do. I don’t want someone thinking I signed off on a sloppy document.

      • Anon

        +1 If I’m signing it and putting my name on it, then yes, I make all those changes.

      • Anon

        +1 – both internally (don’t want the partner to think I missed it if he reviews it) and externally. I also never mind if someone else corrects a typo of mine on something I’ve sent, other than feeling embarrassed for having the typo.

      • Cat

        Yes, this, and also if the other side rejects your changes, you can tell your client “they are so unreasonable they wouldn’t even accept typo corrections.”

    • Anon

      I’m a litigator so this doesn’t come up often. But if I’m working on a settlement agreement and there are spelling errors, of course I correct them. It is a legal document, and should be correct.

    • nutella

      Going to give you a lawyer’s answer here but… it depends! A few things – it depends on how light of a touch I am giving the document overall, how serious/important the errors are, and how I am feeling about this particular agreement or attorney. Most of the time, I just have to let things go in the name of getting to a place of agreement and not embarrassing someone but will correct the occasional one that is an important term or changes the meaning or would be confusing if isolated and relied upon in the future.

      • Anonymous

        +1. I have some individual clients who want to spend very little, working on things like standard employment agreements drafted by large health systems. If it won’t affect the agreement, I don’t mark those up for typos and just stick to our substantive requests.

        If my client is a more established individual or an entity, and we’re working on a substantial deal and sending drafts back and forth, then of course I’ll correct typos.

    • cbackson

      Yes, absolutely. I mark up for spelling, grammar, and readability, unless the client expressly tells me not to.

    • Anon

      I am a litigator, and my co-counsel sent me a joint brief where they had misspelled their client’s name throughout the whole brief and misspelled my client’s name a few times. I definitely told them to make those changes. How embarrassing to file a brief where it looks like you don’t know how to spell your client’s name!

Back to Top

About

Work with Corporette®

Serious Stuff

work fashion blog press mentions