Coffee Break: Wonderland Earrings

123 Comments

1. Ah these earrings are so pretty. I had some like this 15ish years ago that I actually bought at a street fair, and I wore them every day for at least a year, probably two.

2. Those earrings are gorgeous, just not $400+ of gorgeous.

   1. There are lots of similar teardrop gemstone earrings on Etsy in different price ranges. I think it’s worth investing if the stones are very high quality, but would be just as happy with a non-brand version.

3. As much as I hate the cold, I am so ready to not hear lawn mowers, leaf blowers, and wood chippers 10 hours a day. I can’t fathom how my neighborhood isn’t a barren dusty wasteland with how often people are hacking away at all the plants.

   1. Preach. I was pretty irate when two chainsaws started up at 7:30 am today.

      1. Dumpters getting emptied before 7am (but especially if it is overnight). It’s not supposed to happen in residential but mixed-use areas, but no one cares (except me). I can usually get back to sleep if I wake up overnight, but not if I am woken up by something that makes me angry.

   2. I actually hear much less lawn care noise while WFH than I did when I was in the office. I swear they spend two full days out of every week mowing the same tiny patch of lawn right outside my window, usually when I am trying to conduct a webinar.

      1. When I was WFH, I was shocked to learn how many times per week someone comes to the door. Salesman, soliciting donations, etc.

4. I love Marco Bicego even though they’re stupid expensive. My husband bought me these a couple of years ago and I wear them a lot: https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/marco-bicego-18k-yellow-gold-jaipur-mixed-blue-topaz-drop-earrings?ID=2823048&CategoryID=3376

   1. Would love but for the branding! Even though they are stupid expensive.

      1. Haha I never thought I’d be happy for my old-lady presbyopia, but there you have it: I honestly never noticed the branding until you mentioned it and I went to look for it on the photo! It’s too small to see in real life!

      2. Take a look at Temple St. Clair. Might be even slightly more stupid expensive but no branding.

   2. Wow, so pretty! I’d have a hard time not wearing those every day

   3. My dad has gotten my mom Marco Bicego for Christmas for years now. Last Christmas he got her the Jaipur Color Collection 18K Yellow Gold Mixed Blue Topaz Two Strand Earrings, for Mother’s Day I helped him pick the Jaipur Color Collection 18K Yellow Gold Mixed Gemstone Two Strand Earrings and yesterday he picked out the Paradise Collection 18K Yellow Gold Iolite and Blue Topaz Short Drop Earrings. She also has a pair of of the Lunaria collection earrings. They’re all so beautiful.

5. For boots for 2021, leather? Suede? With longer full skirts, maybe I care less, but I have some black leather riding-style boots that I was about to donate but now so little of them is visible that I may break them out again. I hadn’t liked them b/c the calves weren’t trim enough (looked dumpy with tucked in jeggings, not sleek enough with structured dresses). Now, no one will even see that. But I feel like good suede would look slightly better.

   1. fwiw I think suede is generally more popular right now than matte leather, whether for smoking slippers, heels, or boots. If you don’t buy a pair that’s waterproof a la Aquatalia or La Canadienne, of course, treat them before wearing!

6. I have a normally good doctor (GP), but I can’t get ahold of him and it’s really critical and I’m trying to decide whether I’m right to be upset.

   We’re in the process of changing my antidepressant/anti-anxiety meds. I wrote to tell him earlier this week that the newest one wasn’t working great, and I suggested we try a different drug instead, but doc said let’s try to up the dose a bit and see how that does. I took the increased dose at noon on Tuesday and was having some sort of panicked anxiety attack / crawling out of my skin / mental health snap by 8 pm that continued off and on all night long. I emailed him with details Wed morning to ask him for immediate guidance AND I called the office to have them relay to him that I was having an urgent mental health problem and details were in the message I had just sent. The secretary said she told him. It’s now 30 hours after I sent the message, and no response. I just called the doctor’s office again, and the secretary said he got the message but it’s unopened in his inbox and would I like them to send it again. WHAT THE HECK, YES, I want you to send it again I’m having some sort of psychotic episode from the drug your doctor prescribed and I want a damn response from him!

   I stopped the med cold turkey so now I’m having reactions in the other way and I’m a disaster. I don’t need to go to urgent care or the ER but I sure as heck do need “immediate medical attention” from the physician who got me into this mess!

   Yeah, would you be upset or is this just the chemical disaster zone that is my brain talking right now?

   1. Why are you having a GP handle this?

   2. You need a psychiatrist handling this, not a GP.

   3. Of course this is not ok. I might actually go to the office and sit there until I got his attention. Or call back and tell the nurse “This is an emergency and I need you to get him on the phone. I’ll hold.”

      1. And yes, the first order of business should be a referral to a psychiatrist.

         1. It’s very difficult to get appointments with psychiatrists right now, even with a referral. It’s at least a 3-5 month wait. Longer for kids. I don’t know how people are managing.

            1. Longer in some places! I saw a GP for anxiety-related insomnia in February 2021 and got on waitlists with psychiatrists at that time. I still haven’t heard from any of them, although fortunately things are better for me now.

      2. I would not go and wait in the office, you could either wait all day or be escorted out by security.

   4. Respectfully, what would you like him to do? It is normal for GPs to have 25-30 or more patients a day and not to be able to respond urgently. If you need immediate medical attention, yes, the emergency room or urgent care are the best answer. It is normal when adjusting medications to have transitions and there isn’t anything much your doctor can say or do to immediately stop your side effects. I would continue with the prescribed treatment, schedule a follow up ASAP, and try to find a psychiatrist and therapist referral. Alternatively, a concierge practice or Kaiser might be an option if you want coordinated care or more email/phone access.

      1. I agree with this except for continuing with the prescribed treatment. Go back to the lower dose or taper.

      2. +1, I agree with all of this; unfortunately they should have told you that in general, quitting cold turkey means massively worse side effects than what you were already experiencing. You probably need a group psychiatry practice where doctors can cover for each other. Even then, you’re not likely to get a quick response (with the exception of maybe concierge service, which I have never had).

   5. You NEVER stop a medicine cold turkey without advice from a doctor a expert nurse. Especially medicines that can effect mood or other neurologic issues.

      Please at least go back to your previous dose, before you increased it, and take it ASAP. Call the doctor’s office again and ask to speak with a doctor or nurse before end of the day and mention you need immediate advice on your medication for new, severe side effects with panic attacks. If you feel that you are going to hurt yourself or someone else (!), please go to the ER immediately and call the suicide helpline while you are en route

      800-273-8255

      What medicine are you taking? For how long?

      If this is an SSRI/SNRI medication you are taking for depression, it is very very common to have a worsening of anxiety when first starting the med, or increasing to a higher dose. It usually subsides with time. Sometimes if the feeling is severe, doctors will prescribe an acute anti-anxiety medication from the benzodiazapine family to use as needed until you get adjusted to the new dose.

      It is impossible for most doctors to respond immediately. That’s just life, and the juggling act of healthcare for most doctors. It is not a good idea to have a primary care doctor managing any psychiatric medications long term unless you are extremely stable and understand your meds well. I understand why you are upset, and of course your mood swings are making everything more difficult and upsetting. Try to get outside, walk/run/eat/distract/watch TV/do anything …

      EVERYTHING is going to be OK.

      1. +1 to all of this. It is dangerous to stop cold turkey. You could also ask for an urgent sick visit appointment – go in to see the doctor. And there are also dedicated mental health emergency rooms in some areas that could be an option if you need care tonight.

         FWIW, if you feel twitchy – like compulsive yawny – that is also a normal starting SSRI side effect and it typically goes away within a couple of weeks.

7. I didn’t my colonoscopy on time when I turned 50, nor did any of my friends (thanks, waiting to get shots and then Delta surge). It turns out, I’ll be the the first of my crowd to go for a screening one. PLS, interwebs-friends, level with me. How awful is it? And how rough will the prep be? Snide comments suggest that it is the day before that will be the worst, but do I need to take off work? Will I sleep at all the night before? Wear a pad or depends just in case?
   What else do I need to know?

   1. Has your doctor said you need to do one? The at-home test is plenty for most people without risk factors.

      1. Yes, they requested that I get one. And it’s scheduled for next month.

   2. I haven’t had a colonoscopy, but I’ve been through the prep for other reasons. Do not plan on going anywhere. You could probably work from home, but do not plan to leave the house or get too far from the bathroom. If you time it right you should be able to sleep, though.

      1. Hey, why not SA? You are so smart! It is pretty easy, and can save your life.

         I dear friend just died way too young of colon cancer. His wife had her colonoscopy when she turned 50, but her husband kept putting it off.

         Colonoscopies are MUCH MUCH better than just the stool test. You do the stool test in years you don’t have your colonoscopy. They allow the doctors to remove polyps which can be pre-cancers YEARS before they develop into cancers. It is so easy to cure yourself of cancer before it starts.

         Don’t put it off. Don’t.

         I had mine in my 40’s because my Mom died of pancreatic cancer and her mother had colon cancer, so we may have a big of increased risk of gastrointestinal cancers in our family. The prep isn’t ?fun but it isn’t terrible at all. Much easier these days. You fall asleep before the test, wake up when it is over. No big deal.

         Don’t put it off. Don’t!!

         1. +1 my parents (69 and 71) do it every five years, which I thought was the recommendation for everyone over 45. It’s not fun but it’s really not that horrible. I prefer it to a dental cleaning, but I dislike the dentist more than most.

         2. SA!!! Get your colonoscopy!!

            I’d rather have 50 colonoscopies than go through another single round of chemotherapy. And God willing, I certainly hope I have 50 or more colonoscopies ahead of me in this life.

            And to answer the question, I consumed all of my colonoscopy prep and then vomited up every single drop! Little did I know, that was a drop in the bucket to the fun that lay ahead.

      2. Good point, thanks. My husband and I keep saying we will do it together and make a day of it..

         1. I’d say that isn’t an option – one of you has to pick the other one up afterwards as you cannot drive after anaesthesia. So maybe alternating weeks?

            But yes, do it, and do it right away.

         2. I heard recently on NPR an interview with Martin Short …. Every 5 years, Steven Martin, Martin Short and Tom Hanks have a colonoscopy slumber party. They get together the day before the test, and gather their jellos and clear foods and do their prep together while hanging out and watching movies. The next morning they all go to some (I’m sure nicer than ours…) clinic and have their colonscopies. Then they go out to lunch together.

            I hope someday I have friends I can have colonoscopy slumber parties with.

            You can SA!!!

            1. I love that story but “hanging out watching movies” is not how prep works for me. And I hope they have three bathrooms!!

   3. I’ve had a bunch starting in my late 20s and they really aren’t a big deal. The prep is unpleasant, but food poisoning is much worse.

      Sleeping the night before depends on your prep instructions. The last few times I didn’t get any rest because I had to do two separate preps, six hours apart. You will definitely know when you’re done, your body just runs out of stuff to expel.

      Stock up on wet wipes or use a bidet, the constant TP wiping will rub your tush raw. Also stock up on soft mild comfort foods, plus whatever you normally use to get your gut flora back into shape (yogurt, etc.) after feelng ill.

   4. I had one in my 20s. It was not a big deal. The prep is not particularly fun, but I didn’t find it painful or anything. You just drink a lot of stuff and poop a lot until you’re eventually pooping clear liquid. You need to take off work that day though. They knocked me out for my actual procedure so that was no big deal. I slept fine the night before the procedure, the only reason you wouldn’t sleep is if you have anxiety about it. I did not need any kind of diaper or anything. You know when you have to go and unless you’re far away from a bathroom when you feel the call of nature you shouldn’t have any issues.

      I would strongly recommend a colonoscopy if you’re 50 and never had one. The recommended age for the first one has recently been lowered to 45. I thought the screening tests were a supplement to colonoscopies, not a replacement.

      1. Exactly
         And to add to the anecdotes, my best friend’s husband was sent the at home test, he didn’t do it and now at 55 is 1 year in to chemotherapy. He has multiple cancer sites but the original site is colon. The oncologist said the at home test would have found it, 4 yrs ago and he has an estimated 1 year left to live
         Drinking some yucky medicine and passing loose stools for 5-6 hours is nothing in comparison

   5. The prep is the worst part, and only because of the drinking the stuff. I think if you can take the tablets, it would be better. The liquid is just nasty. The procedure is a breeze though, you get the day off, a nice anesthesia nap, and you wake up super hungry, so you get the lavish meal of your choosing (or is this just me?) and then get to nap some more after. Honestly, it’s better than a day at work for me (and yes, I’m looking for a new job. ;)

      1. My husband always wants to go for pancakes right after!!

         1. I’ve only had one but I went for pancakes after as well! You’ll be starving, but I think something blandish and bread-y is good. I can’t imagine eating anything spicy like Indian food or a lot of fiber – you want bland, constipating foods.

         2. My husband wanted a cheeseburger but settled for pancakes and eggs and potatoes and sausage because the restaurant was only serving breakfast. I was amazed he was conscious enough to sit up and eat.

         3. For some reason I always want a po-boy afterwards.

   6. Hahaha YES you absolutely cannot be at work when you’re doing the prep. It will be ok to be there when you’re on the clear liquid diet, but go home before you take the first dose of the Drano stuff because it works pretty much immediately. The analogy I’ve heard is “fire hose” and that’s not far off. Stand close to your bathroom for a few hours. Don’t get involved in a movie where you have to pause and get up from a chair and saunter to the bathroom. It doesn’t work that way.

      I’ve had several colonoscopies and I’m 56 due to family issues. It’s fine. Everyone does it. You’ll survive. It’s not fun, but it’s not like childbirth.

      1. Counterpoint, it took about 6 hours for the prep to kick in for me. I called the doctor on call because I was worried that nothing was happening! She told me that for some people, it just takes longer. It worked out fine except that I was up very late and wasn’t done in the bathroom until about 2 AM. Next time, I will start the prep a few hours earlier in the day.

         After the procedure, I immediately ate two bagels with cream cheese, napped for about an hour, and then was good to go.

         1. Interesting. Were you drinking the big jug of stuff? I am usually just on my second glass of it when it starts.

            I hear the Miralax or swallowed pill method is gentler but also not as efficient.

            1. Yep, drank the bottles. But my system is always slow.

   7. I just went through this.
      I had about an hour between the time I took the first laxatives until I needed to go. I could have taken them at work and then left for home. But once you start the process, you really do need to be at home. It wasn’t painful, and I could still work from home, but I needed to be very close to a bathroom, and at times was headed there every 5-10 minutes.
      It will pay to buy the softest, most luxurious toilet paper you can find.
      If they have timed the prep well, you should be able to sleep OK.
      I had a late morning procedure, which meant I didn’t need to get up at some terrible hour (4am ) and start the morning-of purge.
      The procedure itself was a breeze; no pain or discomfort, etc.
      Plan for an easy-on-the stomach meal for afterwards.

   8. Also, I would say good job on being the first to go! I did it before my husband because I absolutely did not want to get more freaked out about the prep/procedure than I already was. It was fine. BTW, I tried to eat less for a day before the actual prep, not sure if it made a difference but it helped me psychologically.

      1. Now, would it be rotten of me to eat all the junk I want the day before? Or will it maybe ruin me to delicious food that makes a quick path through me?

         1. No, it’s not meant as a diet aid. And you need to avoid foods in certain colors for a few days before.

      2. IIRC, I was told to stop eating kale/cabbage/broccoli/etc for the week before?

         1. I was not told anything like this.

   9. I did a prep that uses pills – 12 pills (big ones) with a ton of water in the late afternoon the day before the procedure, then another round in what turned out to be the middle of the night for me.

      Not eating all day (I was able to have eggs for breakfast, then just had chicken broth, coffee, and jello the rest of the day) wasn’t as bad as I thought. Because of how I timed the prep and because I had to be at the office for the procedure at 9 am, I basically didn’t sleep all night (thank goodness for streaming, even at 3 am there’s stuff to watch). Got to the clinic, they gave me some sweet sweet drugs (and hydration!) and the next thing I know I was waking up, doc told me everything was fine and I felt SO rested and relaxed.

      I worked from home the day of the prep, which I didn’t start until about 4-5 pm. I took the entire next day off because of fatigue and being a bit loopy from the drugs (they tell you not to operate heavy machinery or sign legal contracts that day for a reason!). I had a good nap and felt fine by evening.

      I will say, I did not feel much like eating after I was done. A friend I drove home from her colonoscopy ordered about $100 of Indian takeout from the car, but I did not feel like eating. The pills made me throw up – fortunately, that didn’t happen until the second round of pills, so I was still able to have the colonoscopy. If you decide to go the pill route, you might ask for anti-nausea meds.

      I was really dreading it, and it really wasn’t that bad. I mean, I’m happy I don’t need to go again for 7-10 years, barring any worrisome symptoms, but it really wasn’t as bad as I feared.

      1. I had one a few years ago. The prep isn’t fun, but much better than getting colon cancer. The stuff tastes terrible. Colonoscopy is the gold standard because during the procedure they can find and excise polyps that could later turn cancerous. The day before you can eat a breakfast early of two eggs and toast w/ seedless jam and then just stock up on broth, jelly and popsicles. Also, post-colonoscopy it may take a few days for your system to get back on track, but you’ll be so glad you did it. Make sure you go to a high-volume, high quality endoscopist as there’s a slight risk from the procedure of a puncture or tear.

   10. So . . . if you have a dog that you walk at 4pm and take for a potty break at 9pm and then at 5:30 am and on a walk at 7 am; maybe board the dog for 2 days?

   11. I’ve had a couple. You definitely need the day off on the day of the procedure. As for the day before, it depends on when the prep starts. I took the day before off just in case, but then my first prep dose wasn’t until like 5 in the afternoon, so it would have been fine to work. You will not be able to work once you start taking the meds. The bathroom part wasn’t as unpleasant as actually drinking the liquid. I forced myself to drink mine kind of quickly and that was a HUGE mistake because it made me vomit. Luckily it all worked out and I was “clean” for the procedure.

       Something I didn’t know before I got there is that they make you take a pregnancy test if you haven’t been through menopause. And you’re dehydrated from what happened the night before. They will hook you up to the saline if you’re unable to produce a sample, but I wish I’d known about that part going in.

   12. It depends what time of day yours is scheduled- my husband just did his first one and he did the prep morning of, so it was really only one day eating white foods only and then one day of doing the prep in the morning and the procedure in the afternoon. He didn’t think it was that bad, but definitely did not want a big meal afterward.

   13. Did my first one last week and not nearly as bad as expected. Be sure to plan head and have approved clear items so you aren’t crazy hungry. Also a straw made the prepuch easier to drink.

   14. Get CT Colonoscopy instead. Similar prep but no sedation. If they find something they call you that morning an whisk you off for colonoscopy. Otherwise you are back to your normal self. Very low dose and they can pick up other abnormalities on the scan.

8. Any rec’s for long (ethical) down parkas? Last year I messed up and got a short winter coat and then spent the entire winter wishing I had gotten a long one. Not a fan of flashy logos (ie. no Canada Goose or Moose Knuckles) or of cinched waists. I basically want a wearable down blanket that will keep me warm from head to toe while walking the dog in frigid Toronto, that will fit over my big sweaters but not have me looking like the Michelin man. I kept seeing these on women last winter but never honed in on what brands they were.

   1. Land’s End has several and they are very nice. My best friend just got this one, but there are several other options as well, in a wide variety of weights and styles.

      https://www.landsend.com/products/womens-ultralight-packable-down-coat-with-hood/id_353347?attributes=31155,43307,43326,43398,44256,44967

      1. But is that parka going to lie, cheat, or steal?

      2. I live in Minnesota, and the non-down Land’s End long options (I have a Squall Stadium Coat) are very warm.

   2. I’m on my second long Eddie Bauer long down dog walking coat. Warm, warm, warm. Love.

      1. Look at the Lodge coat – rated to -60 F or -51 C. The Sundara has similar ratings. Big outerwear sale going on now.

         1. Yes. I just ordered an Eddie Bauer coat this morning that was already on sale and got an extra 50% off.

   3. How is Moose Knuckles a real brand? It baffles me every time I come across it. But to answer your question, I have a Land’s End one and it’s fine and mine has snaps in the back so that it fits better.

   4. Save the Duck? Not sure about really long, but my friend has a mid length coat she loves.

   5. I’m a big fan of Uniqlo down coats.

   6. In terms of ethical, I’d be comfortable with the Fjallraven Expedition Long Down Parka.

   7. I have a Patagonia long puffer for 4 years now and it’s as good as new. Would buy it again in a heartbeat.

9. Anyone have a United credit card? Assuming our preschooler gets vaxxed in the first quarter of next year, we’re probably looking at spending $15k on airplane flights in 2022 (two years of pent up vacation time and budget, plus some reimbursable work travel) and are going to make a concerted effort to do it all on United to get status. I’m thinking it makes sense to open a United credit card and am looking for recommendations.

   Also if you have an airline card do you put all your spending on that or only flights? I currently have a Chase Sapphire Reserve which has good travel rewards. If we open a United card I’m not sure if we should switch all our spending to that or try to keep the CSR for hotels and rental cars plus non-travel expenses. I hate the idea of paying two cards with annual fees although the CSR annual fee isn’t bad, around $200 after the reimbursed travel credit (which we always get, even in Covid times, because it’s broad).

   We all have Global Entry/TSA Precheck and won’t need to renew for several years (we got it in February 2020…truly spectacular timing) so that perk is pretty much irrelevant for now.

   1. We have American’s credit card that gets us lounge access (I think it’s $450 a year) and between the airport amenities – we honestly look forward to going to the airport and will go earlier than necessary so we can settle in, finish up work, and have a drink and snacks – and the free checked bags, it pays for itself easily. Plus we get early boarding, which is important in the competition for bin space. Recommend if you typically fly one airline!

      1. Thanks. Our home airport doesn’t have a United club (even though United has the best service to the destinations we fly regularly), so I think it would have limited utility for us, although we might be able to use them occasionally on layovers or when we fly out of the major airport a few hours away.

         Do you put all your spending on the AA card or just flights?

         1. We put all our spending on the card bc it gets us over the edge to “status.” (We fly enough such that the benefits are 100% worth it, but aren’t frequent business travelers so don’t qualify based on miles flown, etc, alone.)

            We can easily use the accumulated miles bc American has basically taken over PHL.

   2. I have the United card. I like keeping all my points in one place so it works for us.

   3. I live in a United hub city and I put all my daily spending on a Chase United credit card. It is fantastic for me. I don’t even look at other airlines now when I need to fly, United is my first stop and even though I’m not really a high roller it means I have priority boarding and seating status on all flights and occasionally get upgrades and I get free club passes at least twice a year (I just used it last week in LA and it was amazing!). I actually just got a code emailed today if you are considering opening a card!

   4. If you are flying on United any time soon, there are always flyers in the seat pocket for the United credit card. If you follow the instructions, which may involve turning it in onflight, you will get 60,000 free miles if you get the card and use it.

10. Linen sheet recs? My Parachute sheets just ripped after a few years of daily use, despite extreme TLC in washing and drying them. I love them but would expect something more durable for the price.

    1. You expected sheets you use every day to last 3+ years? I don’t really think durability is what you pay for in sheets, at least not after a certain price point. You are paying for design and texture.

       1. And yet linen sheets I bought 10+ years ago are still going strong, and my mom had sheets she inherited from her grandma.

          I think this is either just planned obsolescence, or possibly triage if there’s not enough good fiber to go around and it’s being used on something more important than sheets.

       2. ehh, we’ve been using the Company Store’s cotton percale sheets for over 2 years now and they aren’t showing any signs of wear. Not sure if linen, despite the rougher texture, is actually more delicate?

       3. We got sheets for our wedding in 2012 that we use every day and they are still fine… a bit faded but not torn.

    2. More than a few years of daily use seems like a lot to ask of any set of sheets.

    3. Linen should be normally be long lasting, but it does has to be taken out of the drier before it’s all the way dry or it will really deteriorate.

    4. We gave up on linen fitted sheets, which get more wear and don’t seem to last for us, and use percale for the fitted sheet and linen for the top sheet and pillow cases. Right now we have West Elm linen and its fine. Taking them out of the dryer damp is a good idea but hard to time just right.

       1. I love Rough Linen sheets. 5 years and going very strong. I had Linoto before that. They were thinner but nice but did not last as long. I love linen anything. I’ve also bought clothes, kitchen items, etc from Rough Linen. The customer service is amazing.

    5. Late to this but in case you check back, I’ve bought La Redoute ones and they are lovely! I dry them on the line and just throw them in the dryer for 20 minutes to get rid of any crunch.
       I’ve been eyeing up Secret Linen Company. But honestly I think 2-3 years of daily use is fairly reasonable.

11. Searching for advice from the hive:
    My husband’s firm holiday party is in mid-December at a restaurant in L.A. We live in North Carolina. The firm is paying for us to fly out there and for a hotel, and my husband arranged for my mom to keep our toddler for the weekend.
    Thoughts on what to wear / other prep? I ask because while I know that L.A. is decidedly more casual than where I live, it’s also more focused on appearance. I typically can be found in Brooks brothers slacks, a t-shirt and cardigan with a ponytail and no makeup. Between the pandemic and having an 18-month-old, my clothes are nearly all from before the pregnancy, so more than two years old. They do all fit.
    Any thoughts are appreciated, as all my husband said was “you can wear whatever”!

    1. Yes I am willing to do some shopping, particularly for a piece or pieces that would update my wardrobe in general.

    2. I’m not a fashionista so no recs, but how fun! Hope you have a nice weekend getaway.

    3. I live in LA and work in a law firm, but I don’t know about the “more focused on appearance.” Just like anywhere else, some of us are fashionable, some of us are frumps, and some are casual. The firm I work at has all of the above.

       Our work holiday parties tend to be after work, so people wear what they wore to the office. If they change, it may be more little black dress style. I think your dressiness-level is going to be more related to which restaurant it is! Mid-December may also be mid-70s and sunny, colder by the ocean at night.

    4. I think whatever kind of festive cocktail dress you’d wear to this kind of event in NC would also work in LA?

    5. SO, not in LA, but planning ahead for a holiday party my practice group is holding – I’m going very simple. Black wide-legged pants, low pointed-toe heels (pants are hemmed for this height), and probably a black, slim fit cashmere sweater with a dramatic boatneck. Sparkly earrings, no necklace. Nothing red or green.

       1. Also not in LA, but my standard firm holiday party outfit is all black with a fun blazer. I have a sequined blazer and a tweed blazer with sparkly fabric that I switch.

    6. Appreciate everyone’s thoughts! It being in L.A. is only part of the reason I’m asking, it’s also definitely the first adult gathering I’m getting to go to post-baby (which likely would have been much earlier if not for the pandemic). Feeling a little out of the swing of things.
       Anonymous: Restaurant is Redbirds L.A.

       1. Wow –St. Vibiana! Nice setting, and the food looks great. Report back, please!

       2. GREAT restaurant! You will love it!

       3. Is the dinner on a weekend or weekday? Is the firm working in person in the LA office? If it is on a weekday and people are coming from the office, you will see lots of business casual (work clothes).

          FWIW, I lived in LA for a number of years, and never wore anything particularly special to my firm’s holiday party. Personally, I would go with a dress of some sort, but I am a dress wearer. Check the weather as it gets closer, but LA is cooler than you might think in the evenings, so plan to bring a jacket regardless. Also, no one will look at you sideways if you’re wearing Brooks Brothers slacks and a sweater.

          1. And I agree with the other posters, Redbird is a great spot for a party!

    7. I live in LA and went to this place with some fancy-ish doctor friends (my husband and I are pretty boring lawyer types who aren’t in Biglaw). I’m pretty sure I wore a work-type wrap dress in a dark color with heels and sparkly jewelry (costume stuff). It was very nice, it’s a repurposed church complex with big outdoor courtyards. It may seem ridiculous since daytime temps in December are often in the 70s and 80s, but bring a coat or a warm wrap because the temperature drops about 20 degrees about five minutes after the sun goes down.

       While I probably slightly overdressed, people do tend to dress up in LA for non-house parties. The first time I visited, my initial reaction was the people *were* dressed casually, but everyone was wearing flattering clothes that fit and were age-appropriate. There’s a Drybar close and they would totally do an updo or a blowout that doesn’t look too “done” – always makes me feel more confident.

       1. Is there a woman partner or associate who is your husband’s friend/acquaintance and wouldn’t mind a quick text? When my husband worked at a Biglaw firm in LA, I asked one of the other associates on his floor and she seemed kind of flattered to be asked.

          One more note about colors. I’d totally wear something that happened to be (dark) red or green, but not both colors. Lots of LA people don’t do Christmas/get bummed out about Christmas in LA/would rather not have holiday parties at all.

    8. NYCer: party is on Saturday evening

       Seventh Sister: I had thought of trying to find a dry bar because I totally agree that helps me feel more put together. Good to know there’s one nearby. And yes husband will put me in touch with the female associate he knows best so I’ll get her quick read on things.

       Thanks all!

12. What are your favorite packaged soup mixes (or canned varieties)? I want to make my MIL a gift basket but a) definitely don’t have time to DIY this; and b) she hates to cook. Anything more than adding liquid and warming it up is going to be a bridge too far.

    1. TJ’s Autumn Harvest soup is good, and in a pretty jar!

    2. You have to add canned crab meat so not entirely heat and eat, but Gullah Gourmet’s she crab soup mix is really good (and I say this as a southerner who is very picky about my crab soup). They have two different types of crab soup mixes, so make sure you get the she crab, which is the charleston-style. (not a soup, but their shrimp and grits mix is also good).

       1. I was coming here to recommend this, also.

       2. (I will warn you if you aren’t familiar with the company that, delicious as they are, I am surprised they haven’t changed the name of the company and redesigned the packaging (the instructions are written in an English-Gullah creole) because they are not Gullah-owned and it always felt fairly cultural appropriation-y to me.)

          1. I got an email stating they meant only respect but acknowledge the issue and are acquiring rights to a new name.

    3. Progresso has been my go-to for years.

    4. Trader Joe’s vegetable soup. It is in a glass jar and it is delicious.

    5. I’d recommend Bob’s Red Mill Vegi Soup Mix. You can add fresh vegetables, meat, etc. or eat as is.
       https://www.bobsredmill.com/vegetable-soup-mix.html

13. Re jewelry brands, I love just about everything from Aurate.

14. I don’t buy costume jewelry, and instead save up for a mix of Ippolita, Mikimoto, Tiffany (the modern designers) and Yurman. I know someone is going to post and say this is bougie and brandy and some Etsy brand is just as good, but it isn’t. Each of these companies makes well made pieces that last for decades.

15. Wow, do people really spend that kind of money on earrings?

    1. I don’t have pierced ears but I think these are gorgeous and I would be totally tempted by then if I wore earrings.

    2. $500 for sterling earrings is utter insanity.

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