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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Tailored Shift Dress in Lightweight Wool

Gray Work Dress: J.Crew Factory Tailored Shift Dress in Lightweight Wool Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Reader K wrote in to recommend this dress, noting: “Thanks for your site — it's a great resource! I just wanted to say, don't forget about J. Crew Factory for budget options. I have purchased several pencil skirts from there, and recently got a great pair of nude kitten heels and a wool sheath dress I'm very happy with.” Aw, thank you for the compliments, K! The dress looks gorgeous, and I like all four of the colors it comes in. It was $128 at full price but is marked to $69.99 today (final sale); it's available in sizes 00-18. Right now at J.Crew Factory you can also get an extra 15% off your purchase and extra 50% off clearance with code HAPPYSALE, meaning the dress comes down to $35. J.Crew Factory Tailored Shift Dress in Lightweight Wool Shout out to the commenters for putting a name to this sheath dress — it really does look like the Emmaleigh dress from a few years ago. You can see it pictured on a model in this old sheath dress roundup (it's the pink one near the bottom). Here's an option in petite and plus sizes. Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-3)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

210 Comments

  1. I’m starting a new in house job next week, and I have no idea what to wear on my first day. A suit? Separates? Dressy business casual? I suspect that the dress code is business casual, but all of my interviews were by phone and video. Any suggestions?

    1. Call HR or the hiring manager and ask what the dress code is? I did that when starting a new job where it was unclear.

    2. Are you a lawyer? What kind of business is it?

      I feel like a suit on the first day is almost never the wrong call, at least for lawyers. However, if you’re pretty convinced that the office is more dressed-down that than, how about a sheath dress and blazer?

      1. And put a cardigan in your bag, that way if you get there and it’s pretty casual, you can leave your blazer on the back of your chair and wear the cardigan.

      2. Ditto this advice. I might pick a pantsuit with a little more personality so you’re comfortable but formal too.

      3. Sheath dress+blazer would be my go-to. I would probably put a scarf and cardigan in my bag and then leave them in my desk in case they’re needed down the road (a printed scarf has saved me when my coffee lid betrayed me).

        I think it’s pretty standard to be extra dressy on your first day and gauge it from there.

      4. It really depends on what kind of company you are going in-house at. I am an in-house counsel in the technology world, and if a lawyer showed up on the first day of work in a suit, she would look like a fish out of water, and I would wonder if they really understood the corporate culture here! Unless you are at a really old-school company, a nice top coupled with dress pants or a skirt will suffice. A quick email to the HR person that you deal with during the recruiting process will settle this for you.

        1. It really depends. As a counterpoint to tazdevil, I’m in-house at a Fortune 50 technology company and we are not a “really old school company” but everyone on floors 50 and up (legal, compliance, senior management, etc.) all wear suits. The women lawyers can wear sheaths and cardigans but the men always wear ties even if they leave their suit jackets on their chairs for meetings.

          1. Also in the bay in compliance at a fortune 50 company (not tech), in our group most wear dark jeans or slacks and a nice shirt. I think you’d probably be fine In a solid colored skirt/pants and nice top.

        2. I’m an attorney in tech and one of our attorneys wears ripped jeans and yoga pants. I usually wear mid to dark wash jeans. It is very industry dependent. Definitely check with hr. If you can’t go with something between bus casual and formal. Non matching skirt and blazer that can be swapped out for a sweater?

    3. I would wear a suit but choose a top that stands well on its own, so that you can ditch the blazer on the back of your office chair as appropriate. You may get a head shot taken for your ID badge / internal use so I personally would want to be in a jacket for that anyway.

      1. This was me three months ago. I opted for a conservative black business dress with a jacket on hand if I needed it. I was still much more formally dressed than most people, so I thought a dress was a safer pick than a suit. Oddly enough, in-house, I mostly get pressure to dress LESS formally. A suit is the one strict no-no (albeit unofficial).

  2. I bought this dress a couple of years ago. The fabric is a little thin but it is lined. I’m happy with it for the price.

    I bought the Jewelled Necklace from Boden in navy but I’m not sure what kinds of necklines to wear it with. Suggestions? It doesn’t work with my cowl neck tops or the tops I have with ruffles on the front. Most of my other tops are vneck or notched and I’m just not sure if it works. Link in reply.

      1. Ooh, that’s lovely! I guess it needs to be something quite high or quite low so it doesn’t overlap?

      2. What about a plain crew-neck shirt? My mother frequently wears dress pants with a (nice) crew neck t-shirt in a flattering color and adds a statement necklace- often something that has a similar length and ‘weight’. It looks fantastic on her!

        The other neckline that I think would work well with this is a boat neck- I think the length of the necklace would look really nicely lengthen the torso. I would personally go with higher necklines to avoid the center piece falling down the canyon of my b00bage.

        1. I don’t have either a crew-neck shirt or boatneck but will be on the lookout for them now. I have some other statement necklaces that are a little too much with my regular V-necks, but I like your idea of trying it with a crew neck.

    2. How high is the neckline? Is it to the collarbone? I have an enormous chest tattoo and I’m always on the lookout for workwear to cover it.

      1. It is too small for me at the moment, but I’m pretty sure it came up to the collarbone or really close.

    3. I find JCrew Factory dresses to be really really short. Perfect if you’re petite but scandalously inappropriate for work if you’re over like 5’6″ (I do not find the same of their non-factory dresses.)

      1. I find JCrew Factory dresses to be really really short. Perfect if you’re petite but scandalously inappropriate for work if you’re over like 5’6″ (I do not find the same of their non-factory dresses.)

        1. Some of the Factory skirts and jeans (I think) do come in Tall sizes that are wearable for the long-limbed, though. But yeah, most of it is not generous of length.

  3. This looks like the Emmaleigh dress from a few years back. If so, I love my blue one. I wish the light purple were still available.

    1. +1 on the Emmaleigh from regular J. Crew, not Factory. I loved that it came in size 0 tall (J. Crew 0 being equivalent to a 2 everywhere else).

  4. I’m wearing a really nice new silk blouse this morning, and it looks like I already got something oily on it before leaving the house. Probably yogurt if I had to guess. I don’t think I’m a slob, but how can I be better about keeping things clean and not getting food or other stains all over my nice clothes? Should I just never buy anything nice again, or can I work toward being less of a slob? How do I do that?

    1. Good news: silk generally cleans well.

      The biggest thing for me to keep my clothes clean is to not eat on the go, to actually sit down with appropriate silverware and a table and eat. Tupperware salads eaten on my lap used to frequently mark up my pants, but now I actually pull up to a surface and it helps. The other thing I found really helps is frequent hand-washing. I wash my hands after makeup, food prep, when I get into the house, etc., and that really does help with the random bits of schmutz I used to get on my outfits.

    2. I have this problem too. I try to eat before I get dressed if I can and be mindful when I’m eating at work. I just got ink from mindless pen-flipping on a shirt I really like and I’m not sure I can get it out!

      1. Try using rubbing alcohol on the ink. Many inks are alcohol based so it should dissolve with blotting.

        Test the alcohol in an inconspicuous place first.

    3. This may not apply to you, but for me, my “slob” moments happen when I’m eating while trying to do too many other things. When you’re eating, sit down and eat.

    4. Ugh, this always happens to me. And I have small children, so that element doesn’t help. My best advice is to wear a cami while you are getting ready, having breakfast, etc and put the shirt on right before you walk out the door.

      2. I do this in case I have to pick up the dog during his final walk before I leave for the day…one too many dirty pawprints on my blouses.

    5. Getting dressed is the next to last thing I do in the morning before walking out the door (the last thing is any powder / makeup, so it doesn’t get on my clothes).

      I’d rather wash my robe / pajamas than deal with wash/hang/iron or dry cleaning for my work clothes.

    6. I feel the same way – as much as I try to be careful, I am just generally hard on clothes, shoes, bags, etc. While I want to be one of those people who buys one expensive, exquisite item instead of three just-okay ones, I know that I’m going to eventually ruin it by being a klutz. I don’t forbid myself from buying nice things but I try to be realistic. You’re never going to see me in an all-white outfit.

      1. I recently wore a super pretty, used-but-new-to-me shirt to work. Over Indian food with some friends from work at lunch, I somehow…dropped? caught my hand on? my fork, flipped it onto my shirt, down my shirt, and it caught at the bottom. I walked around for the rest of the day with curry all over my shirt. I bought the office some Tide sticks after that because we didn’t have any, I found out the hard way. And my friends still are asking me, about a month and a half later, if I know how to use a fork.
        So, same.

    7. I have a toddler. I get dressed, then cover up the entire outfit with my house robe until I leave the house.

    8. Another +1 for getting dressed being the last thing I do before I leave for the office. I would end up with makeup handprints and toothpaste dribbles all over my clothes otherwise. Also, if I put my clothes on for more than 3 minutes in my apartment I’d be drenched in sweat before I walked out the door. Even in winter I get ready without any clothes on because it’s so dang hot here all. the. time.

  5. I have about 2.5 weeks of vacation time I need to use up, and I just found out this fall is going to be crazy busy at work. So… I am looking to take sort of a last minute, solo vacation in either July or August leaving from the East Coast of the U.S. Any ideas? It may have to be a few small trips, unfortunately. Typically I like to do a big adventure, like Asia or South America, but it doesn’t look like that is happening. Some ideas I had were a 1.5 week European city trip. I haven’t been to Europe since I was a teenager and haven’t really considered it much, so I really have no idea where to even begin!

    Any suggestions would be loved!

      1. I’d go to Edinburgh & Glasgow, and do a hiking or biking tour in the Scottish highlands- plenty of adventure, easily accessible, and GORGEOUS.

        1. +1 for Edinburgh and the Scottish highlands. I studied abroad at the University of Edinburgh and the countryside and the city are both absolutely fantastic! (+ all the castles!)

    2. Man, I would not to go Europe in August. But if I had to go somewhere in August, it’s an easy trip from the East Coast.

      But in 2.5 weeks, you could go to Australia (it seems to be a sporty country). Or Canada (it’s like REI heaven, no, compared to the sweltering SE US)?

      Me, I really want to go to Panama and go through the canal (now that Panamax ships are super huge). Even in the summer. Also, Cartagena Colombia is lovely :)

      1. Why wouldn’t you go to Europe in August?

        To be clear, I cannot take all of my 2.5 weeks at once :(

        2. I can’t speak for the entire continent, but France, for example, pretty much shuts down in August because everyone goes on vacation. Depending on what you’re doing it might not affect you, but some things might be closed.

          1. Another reason for London — while Paris and Barcelona will be empty, London will still be bustling

    4. England. Go while the pound is on sale. You could take a tour of southern England– Glastonbury, Bath (my favorite), Stonehenge, Windsor Castle, London. I did that a number of years ago and it was lovely.

    5. Belgium/Netherlands. You can fly to Amsterdam or Paris, and take the train to various destinations.
      I like to incorporate beach time in vacations and I would spend 2-3 days in Ostende or neighboring beach towns. The weather should be warm enough in August.

      Spain, Portugal, Italy and Greece will be too hot for a city trip.

      2. When I was in college, I took a mostly solo trip to Europe in July or August, during the big 2003 heat wave. I had to spend a night in Paris, which was miserable. But over about 2 weeks, I spent 2-3 days in the French Alps (Annecy and Chamonix), Bruge, London, Bath, and Edinburgh. You could do some variation on that, with plenty of flexibility.

    6. Another vote for England and Scotland. Spend some time in London, take the train up to Edinburgh, a couple of days there, and then to the Highlands for a few days. Plus, it’s Britain, so the weather should be quite pleasant in terms of temperature.

    7. I know you said the fall is busy for you, but have you considered taking off sequential Fridays and/or Mondays for shorter, smaller trips? Had a friend who managed to take off every Friday between X and the end of the year to use up her vacation days, that kind of thing. Just a thought.

      1. Think about impact on others around you if you do this. One of my staff is doing this and it’s making life a living hell every week as several of us are continually forced to step in–much easier to identify coverage for one shot. Next time permission is requested for days off like this, it’s getting denied. I’m also now worried I’m going to lose that FTE since folks still see projects getting out the door and wonder if we really need her full time.

      2. One year I used most of my vacation for a bunch of small trips for other people’s weddings, bachelor*tte parties, showers, etc. It was exhausting. I hated getting back after a long weekend, tired, behind on all my household and personal stuff, behind at work, and planning another trip in a week or two. If you have 2.5 weeks to burn before the end of the year, I’d take most of it in July or August, and maybe leave 2-3 personal days to relax and/or prepare for the holidays in November or early December if/when things at work have calmed down.

        1. +1. I’ve done a lot of three-day weekends this year (b/c my spouse and I are currently living apart for work reasons) and, while I don’t regret it for one second, I concur that this – “behind on all my household and personal stuff, behind at work, and planning another trip in a week or two” – definitely takes its toll.

          I am very much looking forward to living in the same place again and using my vacation days in long chunks for actual vacations!!

    8. Why is South America off the table? I would probably go to Argentina and Chile. It would be chilly, which would be a nice break from the summer heat in the U.S., and it would be a great combination of city, nature/adventure, and relaxing.

  6. Did anyone else see this Sheryl Sandberg article about queen bees? I’ve definitely heard people say that their worst bosses had been women. I personally haven’t experienced that. It’s interesting to see research saying that there are actually fewer queen bee problems than we might otherwise think.

    2. I read this and thought I would give myself whiplash from nodding so hard. I’ve also heard that trope that women are terrible bosses, and my own experience hasn’t borne that out. None of my friends who have women bosses seem to complain more about the women than men, either.

      I read about a study recently that discussed how women are held to a higher ethical standard than men, and women are judged more harshly when they fall short of that standard. I wonder if having a woman boss is similar–They’re held to a higher standard of being able to manage and then judged more harshly when they’re imperfect. No idea if this has legs, just a thought.

      1. Both of my worst bosses have been women. Horrible, horrible bosses. I’m just a week out from escaping the most recent version. I’m in a big company now, and I actually triggered a full on HR investigation of her and they did finally end up reprimanding her – it was that bad. After I gave notice, I found out she’s been telling people I stole the job I’m going to from her! (Position was never published, I have good relationships with some people over in that department and they came to me first before posting – and none of them like this woman). She’s acting like it was some big mistake, new company “heard there was someone good at old company, and they got Anon instead of me!”

        The other woman was terrible and admitted it. She said “I was miserable as a young attorney, why shouldn’t you be?”

        Maybe I just have bad luck.

    3. I read that and also agree. My experience with female bosses has been far, far better than with male bosses, no exceptions. Now that I am a boss myself I find myself advocating especially strongly for my female reports because I notice they are sometimes undervalued or judged with the kind of double standards for behavior that AnonInfinity mentions below. I have even talked with them about this issue directly when they are struggling with, for example, holding firm and being called b*tchy for it.

      One of my female reports just got promoted and it has been great to welcome her up in the ranks. I acknowledge to myself that I feel a little bit threatened, but always make sure it isn’t affecting my behavior.

    4. My current female boss is fantastic. Supports me, advocates for me on her own initiative and is extremely flexible and promotes great work/life balance. My last two bosses were males and both of them were terrible for different reasons.

      1. Ditto. My female boss (married with kids) says she always appreciated flexibility extended to her when her kids were younger so she extends the same flexibility to those working for her.

    5. I have had a mixed experience. Some male bosses have been great–some have been s3xist. One female boss I had was a micromanager and incredibly inflexible on schedule/face-time. It was very difficult to work under, especially as a new mother. I had one female boss after her who was amazing–gave me growth opportunities and fought for a raise for me. My last two bosses have been men and have been fine. This has all been at the same governmental agency. Politics mean we have a high turnover for big bosses–line managers are pretty consistent and we have a nice woman in that position right now.

    2. Sure. Anywhere in Germany or Austria is lovely at Christmas, as is London, the Nordic capitals and the Alps are great if you’re into winter sports, Paris is rainy and gloomy and deliciously atmospheric, Madrid is lively year round and not oppressively hot in winter.

    3. I visited London in December during Christmas. Coming from the midwest, it wasn’t that cold. I had a warm jacket and good walking boots and spent plenty of time seeing sights. The time it was the coldest was seeing Stonehenge because it was very windy. In the city, it was fine.

    4. Barcelona. There’s a huge parade for Three Kings Day on Jan. 6 and the entire city is celebrating. Bonus, not too cold and not hot.

    5. I visited Austria in early December one year, and it was lovely. I needed a winter coat, but it wasn’t bone-chillingly cold. If you can go around Christmas, there are lovely Christmas markets with little booths selling crepes and gluhwine. I loved it so much that tried to recreate gluhwine at home :)

    6. I’ve been to both the UK and Denmark in January. The UK wasn’t bad at all and we were able to walk around and do a lot of stuff. I think Denmark was unseasonably cold when I was there, but it was awful and was really too cold to do anything other than go to a museum.

  8. Can you guys help me find big sparkly statement necklaces that would dress up an otherwise simple sheath dress to make it a party dress? I almost never wear this kind of stuff and need a few different items, so I’d like to stay under $25 — where could I go to find these?

        1. +1. I was just there last night searching for some baubles to punch up a sheath I plan to wear to a wedding tonight.

    2. Check out JCrew factory (on topic for today!) — they do pretty decent imitations of “real” JCrew costume jewelry, in your price range.

    6. Check eBay too. I’ve had luck finding past season necklaces from places like Banana Republic at low prices.

      1. +1 or your local consignment shop. I’ve been all dressed up and just run into one and checked out their jewelry supply.
        Also, Kohls?

  10. I need some help in getting excited about a cross-country move for my husband’s career. NYC >> Palo Alto. In addition to worrying about finding a job (which has been…a trying process), I’m also worried that I’ll have trouble meeting people and just generally setting up a life of my own out there.

    Can anyone who has lived in the Bay Area talk it up for me? What are some of the great things I can look forward to doing/seeing when I get there?

    1. I lived in San Francisco for a short while, and though I will always be an East Coast girl at my core, here are some great things about the area: Awesome array of fresh local produce and flowers available for a much larger portion of the year than in NYC. Mild winters, and from Palo Alto you can quickly get to some cool summer weather by heading towards the water and certain parts of san Francisco. No more wretched-smelling steam bath subways like in NYC. Wine country tours.

    2. Lived in Palo Alto for six years. The weather. Really, the weather. A 20 minute drive to nice hiking in the Santa Cruz mountains, which you can do year-round. A 40 minute drive to the beach. A 45 minute train ride to the city, with great food and a good ballet and opera. The produce (year-round CSAs, fresh tomatoes and strawberries in February). Man, I miss it so much. If it weren’t for our jobs, we’d move back there in a heartbeat.

    3. I lived in Palo Alto for three years for law school. It is a very lovely place. Agree that the weather is great and living out there is really a dream in terms of outdoorsy things to do. Will you guys live in Palo Alto or is the hubs just working there? I really loved the hiking and the natural beauty of that place doesn’t get old. Also, wine. All the wines! Drink them. So many great places to scoot off for the weekend too! Big Sur, Tahoe, etc. You’ll also be a very manageable drive from Yosemite! I now live in Texas and miss the Bay so much. One thing I would advise, which is easier said than done, is accept that it’s not NY. Try not to compare your new town to your old!

    4. I’m born and bred San Franciscan, and I now work in Palo Alto and live in Silicon Valley. I will never. ever. move. away. The commute from SF to PA is utterly miserable unless he’s on a tech bus, in which case it’s merely moderately miserable. Or take the train. But for some folks, including some of my colleagues, they will tolerate the miserable commute because they just aren’t ready to move to the burbs yet, and they love living in SF proper. I understand that.

      How old are you? What industry are you in? What do you like doing?

      Our weather is spectacular year round. It’s never super hot and it never gets really cold. We are a short trip to anything from the ocean to legit skiing to world class restaurants and museums and shows (none of which I go to anymore, but that’s my own fault). Fabulous hiking all over the place. Wine country all over the place, including not just Napa, Sonoma, and Russian River, but also Santa Cruz mountains, Los Gatos, Saratoga i.e. within 30 minutes of my house. Our produce is straight-up better than pretty much everywhere else in the country (visiting inlaws in the Southeast and grocery shopping is like… this is not a tomato…this is a red tennis ball with a stem).

      Our air is really clean. I notice the difference whenever I go to other cities, especially LA.

      Also, no humidity.

      Consider joining the Junior League (chapters in SF, Palo Alto, San Jose, and Oakland) and depending on your career, The CLUB, which I am also liking a lot. Another longtime reader of this blog is in San Jose and is also in The CLUB with me.

      2. Thank you for all the replies! Whenever I start getting stressed about the move, I keep telling myself, no more humidity, no more subway. Thank you for giving me things to add that that internal pep talk list.

        We’ll be living in Palo Alto (and I’m worried I’ll have to commute to SF, but at this point a job with a long commute is better than no job at all). I’m in Junior League currently and looking to transfer, but thanks for flagging The CLUB for me. It sounds great!

    5. Made a very similar move for identical reasons (and with similar challenges/trepidation) a couple of years ago. I’m having a great time here, but my overall feeling about the Bay is a bit more mixed than the other responses you got. If you’d like to talk specifics of moving, places to live, the SF/SV commute, or even to connect with someone who’s not 100% sold on California (I’ve found that folks here really love it, and it can feel sort of alienating to be the one person who doesn’t necessarily), feel free to reach out to me: reluctantcalifornian at google’s mail service

      1. I can talk commute from SV to SF, as well. I know this is late, but please feel free to email me if you see it: anonforthis421 at the mail that google brings us.

        I’m one of those people who did NOT want to come and now I love, love, love it!

    6. I’ve lived in both places. They are very, very different.

      The weather in Palo Alto is spectacular and lovely. Do not underestimate the impact this can have on your psyche. The close drives to amazing places of natural beauty is very nice. Good food. I liked having a university nearby and took advantage of cultural/academic/athletic interests. I loved casual dress and the concept of biking to work.

      But very, very different from Manhattan. When it comes to food and culture, little compares to Manhattan.

      Let’s be clear….. Palo Alto is a very, very, very wealthy and expensive…. suburb. This is not the city. It is suburban hell at times. It is not diverse in an inclusive way. San Francisco is just far enough away that you won’t take advantage of it as much as you think….. Especially with busy jobs.

      It is an intense, ultra competitive place for kids to grow up and go to school.

      You will find friends. People are generally friendly…. A lot of very wealthy stay at home Moms. And some very bright, driven, interesting, creative women who work.

      You’ll make it work.

      1. Another native San Franciscan here, one of things I think is great about the Bay Area is most people aren’t native and aren’t from here at all, so there’s a lot more openness to making friends. It’s a little sad that so many people are transient and here for a few years, but you’ll probably have an easier time making friends than in cities where people live their whole lives.

        On where you live – if you’ve got kids & are looking for good schools, Palo Alto is a good place to be (and any of the other close by suburbs too) but if you guys are younger & don’t have kids yet, you might really prefer to live in SF & have your H commute (yes, it’s long but tons of people do it & his company might have a bus going down there from SF, which makes it a lot easier). I’m a die hard city girl & personally find the suburbs a little too dull.

        On things to do – pretty well covered, but everything is here. You’ve got city stuff, country stuff, hiking, beach, camping, mountains, pretty much whatever you’re into is all within a few hours drive, including tons of places to get away for the weekend. There’s a reason this area tops many people’s vacation destination lists.

      2. I really, strongly disagree with “yes” above. Yes, there are some rich people, but most of us are not and are overwhelmed by rent. I have never met a more inclusive group of people–rich, VERY poor, educated, very NOT educated–and I am very diverse. Honestly, I’ve never felt more included, anywhere, and I’ve lived in many major cities across the world over the past 15 years. People truly make efforts to reach out and are just so warm and thoughtful.

        1. I forgot to say, also, that in my different communities (church, work, social), I know very few SAHMs. I’m a single working mom, and what I’ve seen is that mostly people can’t live here unless both parties work. For me personally, I love that because it (again) helps me feel less alienated.

    7. I lived in Palo Alto for five years and really loved it. Second the comments about the weather being perfect. Warm, sunny and low humidity year round basically. It’s much more like SoCal weather than like SF’s horrible foggy weather. It’s a SUPER dog friendly city. We adopted a dog while living there and I just assumed everywhere was like Palo Alto in terms of all restaurants with outdoor seating allowing dogs, and after we moved away I discovered that is very much not the case. Palo Alto gets a lot of snobbery from the trendy hipster times for not having a great local dining scene, but I think it’s actually very good. If you want really high-end, Michelin-starred dining, the city and Napa are better options (although there are a few starred restaurants in the South Bay, including one in PA), but Palo Alto and the surrounding towns like Mountain View and Menlo Park have some really excellent more mid-range local restaurants and you can get just about any kind of food except maybe Ethiopian without going to the city.

      I also second all the comments about tons of outdoorsy stuff around and the opportunity to take day trips to lots of beautiful places like Carmel, Monterey, Santa Cruz, and Half Moon Bay. Napa, Yosemite, Tahoe and Big Sur are farther away but still easy weekend trips. We used to go to Napa every couple of months and I really miss that. We lived there for five years, took a weekend excursion at least every few months, and I still didn’t feel like I made it all the places I wanted to see within driving distance of the bay area. It’s one of, if not the, richest parts of the country in terms of stuff to do and see within a 4-5 hour drive.

      I will say though that Palo Alto, while lovely, is VERY suburban, and I disagree about the ease of getting from PA to SF – saying it’s a 45 minute train ride is such an oversimplification. The train is expensive (both for the ticket and for parking at the train station) and only goes to one part of SF, which is pretty much dead aside from the Giants baseball stadium, and there’s not a great subway system in SF so its hard to get from the train station to other parts of the city. We almost always drove when there were 2 or more people going, and that takes at least an hour with traffic (can easily be two) and then you have to find and pay through the nose for parking. To be honest, even though Napa was twice as many miles away, it was less stressful to go to Napa because we didn’t have to fight traffic or spend an hour looking for a parking space. Until we knew that we were leaving and went there regularly to try to check things off our Bay Area bucket list, we probably only went to SF once or twice a year, usually when we had visiting family. Most of my friends went about as frequently. So I think that’s something to be aware of if you’re really someone who loves NYC and loves being in a city environment.

      1. Look no further than Saratoga for good Ethiopian at Zeni Restaurant. There are actually quite a few Ethiopian restaurants in Santa Clara and San Jose.

        For excellent fine dining, you have Manresa, Dio Deka, Alexander’s (and the Sea), and Plumed Horse all south of Palo Alto.

        Don’t overlook the South Bay if you are in Palo Alto! It is closer than SF and Napa and have a lot to offer if you are willing to do some Yelp searches.

        For getting to parts of SF that are away from Caltrain, I either drive or Caltrain to Millbrae and get on BART. The BART is great for getting to the Mission and Union Square. Plus, it has easier transit connections with MUNI once you are in SF.

    8. I think the Bay Area is a great place to have a great career. If you want to work and can make a great deal of money, it’s incredible. The weather, the people, the professional groups, the tech culture, etc. are all out here in a crazy microcosm of geek through which money just appears. It’s its own special kind of place. Nearly everyone is originally from somewhere else so it’s easy to make new friends (if you aren’t working crazy hours).

      You’re coming from NYC, so I won’t tell you all about the HCOL. Palo Alto is incredibly suburban. My own neighborhood, downtown San Jose, is growing and attracting residents, businesses, restaurants, etc. but we still have a long way to go to being a vibrant urban place on par with NYC.

      If you can, buy a place to live. It is the only way to stabilize housing costs. With high CA taxes (like NYC), a primary residence is one of the only tax breaks high earners can get unless they own their own business.

      The roads are SO BAD. Seriously. I normally walk to work and whenever I actually take the freeway, I am blown away by all the traffic. It has gotten so much worse in the last 2-3 years. If you can, take the CalTrain and/or BART for trips to SF (or even to a San Jose Sharks game!) but be prepared to stand or sit on the floor (this sounds gross but it’s common). Live near a CalTrain station. The one thing I wish were different about my condo is that it is closer to CalTrain (and it’s really only a 1 mile away).

    9. Very late to this, but in case you’re still reading, I just did a very similar move (Boston to Palo Alto) in May and happy to talk about my experience. I had a lot of trepidation beforehand and am still adjusting, but there are some good things here, too. I’ll post again on today’s post, but you can shoot me an e-mail at notacalifornian2016 at the google mail if you want chat. I agree with New Californian-it can feel weird to be the one person who doesn’t LOVE everything about California. Which is not to say there aren’t awesome things here (there are!), but the East Coast has a lot to offer, too, and it’s a big adjustment.

  11. I’ve been offered a big promotion – 3-4 levels above my current position – to a newly created director-level position. It would head up a department that has historically been a mess. I was offered the role because I presented some ideas for improvement, and because I’ve been identified by upper management as a ‘rising star’ with ‘leadership potential.’ In addition to managing a dozen or so employees, I would be called upon to testify in front of the state legislature pretty regularly. My hours would definitely increase. I think I can negotiate a pay increase of about 15.%

    What should I be thinking about when I consider whether or not to accept? Pros are obvious, but cons include that I’d be inheriting a mess of a department, albeit with the authority to make some pretty radical changes. Thoughts? Additional things I should be negotiating for?

    1. Obviously you accept. This isn’t a question. Ask for a 20% raise. I’d also talk about what you’ll have the power to change. Do you have authority to hire/fire? Are there resources you need to succeed?

    2. Unless you are already paid ridiculously well, a 15% pay increase sounds incredibly low for that big of a promotion. But I come from an industry where a promotion up one level typically comes with a 10% bump.

    3. Agree that for 2-3 levels up, 15% is small. Are you going from middle mgmt to department head? Or indiv. contributor to department head? Definitely research comparable roles in your industry and don’t sell yourself short on salary (or bonus) negotiations. Perhaps your raise ends up being 15-20% but you should also get a big bonus oppotunity as well. As a department head (sr dr/VP) my bonus target was 25-35%- as reference. As an individual contributor it was 5% and i think 8-10% as a lower level mgr.

      Considerations: what’s your budget? resources? how will your success be measured? What are your options if you do NOT accept? Do you leave the company or inherit a new boss?

      1. more anecdata: my husband went from mgr (2-3 reports) –> director (5-6 reports with hire/fire ability) –> dr director/dept head (aprox 20 reports) in fairly rapid succession (all over 2.5 years) and the pay bumps were 21% + an 8% bonus then another 35% increase with a bonus target that is about 15% of his salary.

      2. From subject matter expert with no direct reports or mgmt. responsibility to department director with 10 – 12 direct reports and I would report directly to the head of the agency.

        You’re all right. I should take the job and request a much higher increase. I’m in government so there are some rules / restrictions in terms of percentage increases on promotion, but I should ask for the max and negotiate from there.

  12. I’m 26 and have never dyed my hair before. It’s light brown that gets a little lighter in the summer. It’s past my shoulders and I’m feeling a little bored with it. About to make an appointment to get a few inches chopped off and some texture added.

    Should I do something with color? Highlights etc? I don’t want to do anything drastic and I’d want something that could grow out while looking natural. I’m pale-skinned with rosey undertones and had blonde hair until age 3, so I think something a little lighter could look good on me for the summer.

    Do it? Leave it alone? I’m also getting engagement photos taken in a couple of weeks, so worry that now may not be the time…

    1. If you’re getting engagement photos in a couple of weeks I wouldn’t do anything with color, especially as a first timer. I like to check Pinterest for hairstyle ideas. Just type in some keywords for what you’re looking for.

      1. +1. Not the time to try something new. What about going for a clear gloss to keep your natural color but make it super shiny and healthy looking?

    2. I have a similar complexion – a bit more freckly it sounds like though. I like to do go a few shades warmer and darker in the winter, but keep some red tones. I do the semi-permanent so I don’t have to worry about roots. I think in the cooler seasons playing up the light skin with slightly darker hair is fun.

      But I too would wait until after the photos.

    3. My natural color is a bit darker than yours. When I started coloring it (for similar reasons – wanted a change), I just did a semi-permanent color with a bit of red in it, which had the overall effect of making my hair a little bit darker. Eventually I felt my hair was getting too dark and switched to very fine foil highlights, which just lighten my natural color by a couple of shades, and they are not too onerous to keep up with.

      I mostly agree with the advice not to do anything major before your engagement photos, though, just in case you don’t like the look.

  13. Any ideas for an effective storage solution for storing earrings, necklaces, and other jewelry? I’m fine with hanging something on the wall. My current organization is a large container on my desk with lots of little compartments and it ends up just looking like a mess all the time.

    1. I got a printer drawer jewelry organizer from Etsy a few years ago on a recommendation from this s*te. The maker is bluebirdheaven on etsy and I’ll link in a different comment. Great for putting your jewelry on display so you remember what you have!

    2. For necklaces, I put a corkboard on the wall of my closet. Put tons of push pins in there and you can hang the necklaces from that.

      1. You can also use the extra-small Command hooks if you’ve got really heavy necklaces.

    3. On the suggestion of someone here, I solved my necklace and bracelet problem with a cork board and t-pins. It’s totally customizable. I have a bunch of statement necklaces that take up a lot of space and I can put the pins as far apart or close together as necessary.

      I’m not totally satisfied with my earring solution yet. I got a clear plastic foldable earring stand. It’s ok but not perfect.

      1. I bought a bunch of little plastic baggies and attach my earrings to the cork board with push pins. I love it, quick, easy, and I can see everything I own at a glance.

    4. There are a ton of jewelery organizers on Zulily today, it would be a good place to browse and get ideas.

    5. If you don’t have a ton of necklaces (or if you have a lot of closet space), you can hang them in your closet on individual hangers – I use plastic hangers made for infants and children’s wear for this.

    6. Search “jewelry pocket organizer”, they have a hanger type mechanism up top and then tons of pockets with clear plastic so that you can see through them and organize your necklaces accordingly. I love mine and hang it at the front of my closet, so after I pick my outfit, I go there and pick my accessories. Highly recommend!

    7. I have … close to 100 pairs of earrings (mostly funky costume-y stuff) and I use a multi-drawer organizer designed for small tools and parts. I love it, but it may be too utilitarian looking – the brand was Akro-Mills and I found it on Amazon.

    8. I collect antique dishes (I pick them up at flea markets and thrift stores, so not expensive stuff) & keep my jewelry in those on my dresser. It’s easy to see what I have & easy to organize by type.

  14. Thank you all for the Mindful Gray recommendation for my walls a couple of weeks ago. We got our dining/living room painted in that color and it’s beautiful! So soothing and calm. I love it.

  15. Any good/back experience with getting alterations at Nordstrom Rack? I bought an expensive Hugo Boss suit at Nordstrom and need to get it tailored. The Nordstrom Rack is very close to me, the Nordstrom is much farther out. Can I safely trust the tailors at Nordstrom Rack?

    1. I have two pieces of conflicting anecdata:

      1. Some years ago the tailor at the Rack messed up a suit for my then-husband so badly that they ended up taking it back and refunding the purchase price.

      2. But when I took the dress for my wedding to Real Nordstrom for alterations after purchasing it at the Rack, the alterations lady was surprised because, she said, the alterations lady at the Rack is really good.

      Maybe call Nordstrom and ask to talk to the alterations people and see if they have any thoughts about the people at the Rack?

    2. If you’re just worried about having to get to Nordstrom, if you drop it off at the store, they will mail the altered suit back to you saving a trip.

    3. Thanks all! The Nordstrom Rack tailor seemed quite experienced (20 + years as a tailor) so it all worked out.

  16. Any new suggestions for funny/interesting podcasts that I can listen to on the drive to and from work? I enjoy This American life bc I can break them up, any other suggestions?

    1. Invisibilia
      Reply All
      Pop Culture Happy Hour
      The Dinner Party Download
      If you’re into Game of Thrones, the Nerdette Recaps of Game of Thrones With Peter Sagal
      Savage Love (if you’re ok with explicit s*x talk)
      FiveThirtyEight Elections (if you’re into politics or find polling fascinating)

    2. Invisibilia is my favorite right now.

      I also love Throwing Shade and Two Dope Queens.

      1. Radiolab has a great new podcast (only four episodes out so far) that discuss different Supreme Court cases called More Perfect. I was going on about it to my roommate last night and she just looked at me like I was nuts, but also she’s familiar with my weird nerd ramblings.

        1. It’s so good, and I seriously love it. I can’t stop talking about the episodes, particularly Episode 2 about the consequences of being the swing justice.

          1. I was fascinated by the one about the adoption that went all the way up. I went on about for about five minutes the other night to my roommate.

    4. More Perfect
      The Mystery Show
      Stuff You Missed in History Class
      the BookRiot podcasts (if you’re a reader)
      Welcome to Night Vale (kind of oddball, but I love it and the episodes are around 20 minutes each)

      1. Huzzah for Night Vale!

        I’ve heard good things from my husband about More Perfect but haven’t started yet.

    5. Here’s my current lineup

      Radiolab (and spinoff More Perfect)
      2 Dope Queens (no new episodes until fall, but a good archive)
      Presidential — by the Washington Post, they devote one episode to each president and go into detail about things you’d never know. I was fascinated by some of the episodes on lesser known presidents, particularly the episodes on Garfield, Cleveland, and Arthur.
      Surprisingly Awesome — Takes seemingly mundane subjects (e.g., concrete, mold, mattresses, broccoli) and tries to tell stories that are both surprising and interesting.
      Hidden Brain
      Slate’s Political Gabfest
      Reply All
      Death, Sex and Money

      1. We have similar taste! You might also like Only Human (interesting behind the scenes medical-ish stories).

  17. Hello- someone asked this recently but I can’t find it. My boss has asked me to sign a letter on his behalf (his information is in the signature block) I know I use “pp” or “per” but do I sign my own name? Or his and then put my initials? Thank you!

    1. To be clarify I’m pretty sure I sign my own name, but wanted to double check

    2. His name followed by a slash and your initials. At least that’s how it’s done at the law firms.

      3. This is how my secretary does my letters. For pleadings, if another attorney signs for me, they sign their own name on the line above my signature block and then write “for” so it reads as their name for my signature block. This is what is preferred by our court though.

  18. There was a discussion here recently from a poster whose husband was hesitant to have kids before they did genetic testing. This came to mind as I was reading a blog post by a mum who was advised to terminate her pregnancy at week 20-23 because her unborn child was diagnosed with Spina Bifida. The news was not delivered in a sensitive manner either, her doctor basically asked her “what did you expect?”, she was having her Ist child at ~ age 37. While she talks about how much she is glad she didn’t listen to the doctors, she also talks about how hard her motherhood journey has been. I just wondered if anyone else has had this experience i.e. been advised to terminate but decided not to, especially if the pregnancy was in the mid to late thirties. I’ve just been thinking about this alot because I turn 37 next year, still single and no kids.

    1. Actually I didn’t think age of the mother was a risk factor for spina bifida, I thought folic acid intake, diabetes, and obesity were. I’d more worry about down syndrome than anything else. Most doctors insist upon genetic testing for any “geriatric pregnancy” (i.e. a pregnancy over the age of 35). I think it’s best to have some sort of idea of what you’ll do before you get test results. Also – birth defects or chromosomal abnormalities can happen to ANYONE, so really thinking about what you would do with a child with special needs should be a consideration when having a planned pregnancy.

    2. Definitely educate yourself and determine what “risk” means to you.
      Even a 2-3x risk of something like down syndrome is still a relatively low risk — it is more likely to have a healthy, viable pregnancy.
      “Expecting Better” is a goo d book for this, with data. There may be a group for older mothers for you, too.
      Just so you know, in the infertility world, you’re still a baby – they routinely deal with parents 45+.
      You might want to consider where your anxiety is coming from, and deal with anxiety. Being pregnant and a parent, solo or with a partner, is not easy and nothing ever goes as planned. If you’re here, I know you’re strong enough to deal with it, but it’s still hard.

    3. I have all kinds of family history with spinal bifida, so it was top of mind when i got pregnant. I got genetic testing done (after conception) but the counselor had a long conversation about what would happen if we had a kid with spinal bifida. Nowhere in the conversation did it sound like one of the “must terminate” type conditions– there are all kinds of prebirth and postbirth interventions now that didnt’ exist when my family members had it in the 40s and early 50s.

      I didn’t even get put into the “high risk, needs genetic screening” bucket despite extensive family history- we paid out of pocket for it (a few hundred dollars).

      1. Makes me wonder if your family has a history of folic acid storage disorders. Has anyone looked into that? They run in my family which is why I knew about it.

        1. Idk, I have 3 healthy kids and it doesn’t seem to have passed to my generation- but 2/4 aunts had it at birth and died young; one aunt had a kid with it that died as well. My siblings are fine and I’m the first of my generation to have kids but no issues yet.

  19. Does anyone know how J. Crew sizing is for their dresses? I really want to get this dress but am worried about buying it since it’s final sale. I wear a 0P for Ann Taylor dresses and am 5’4. 115 pounds. I’m thinking the size 0 or 2P would fit but am not sure.

    1. I am a 00P in Ann Taylor, which matches up with the J.Crew size chart for 00P. I will admit that I have found a 0P to be too big at J.Crew. For this price, if it’s a little big, I wouldn’t be too fussed about getting it altered.

  20. I agreed to sell two dressers to a woman on Craigslist, but IKEA issued a recall before she could pick them up. I am returning the dressers to IKEA since I do not feel comfortable with re-selling an item that has been recalled by the manufacturer (I apologized sincerely and offered a prompt return of the woman’s deposit). Now she is angry and seems to be suggesting that we had a binding contract. Are verbal contracts like that binding in Massachusetts? Does having an item be recalled make a difference?

      1. Yup, just block her email address. This is by no means a “binding verbal contract” especially since it’s not like she gave you money yet. I think you’re putting way too much thought into this.

    2. She’s not going to sue you over the cost of two used Ikea dressers. It was previously decided here on Monday I believe that if you tell the buyer that it has been recalled, they can choose to buy it. The recall is primarily about small children – I will personally be keeping all three of my recalled dressers. But it sounds like by returning it you probably got more money for it.

      1. Depending on the timing, maybe she’s trying to buy the dressers so she can return them for full value herself.

    3. you got a deposit from a person on Craiglist? Huh, I’ve never heard of such a thing — IME it’s always “whoever shows up with the cash first wins.”

      Personally, I’d go through with the sale and make sure she was clearly advised of the recall, but if you want to back out — I don’t know MA contract law but even if you were bound, seriously, what is she going to do, sue you for the dressers? What are her damages?

    5. Actually, a bit more Internet sleuthing and reviewing the Craigslist terms of services revealed that it is illegal to sell recalled items. I feel much better now, especially since the recall only happened after we had agreed to sell.

      We asked for a deposit because she said she really wanted the dressers, but couldn’t pick them up for a few days. We had several other interested buyers who would have come that day.

    6. “I have refunded your deposit b/c I don’t have this recalled Ikea dresser to sell anymore. Best wishes finding a dresser.”

    7. Honestly, I don’t get why you wouldn’t sell them to her if she knows about the recall, unless you’d rather have the refund. Do what you want, at this point just block her. It doesn’t matter, this is just Craigslist.

      1. I didn’t feel comfortable with the idea (what if it somehow opened me up to liability?) and now that I know it’s downright illegal, there is no upside of any kind (including financially). It’s slightly less convenient for her, but she can easily find another style of dresser on Craigslist or in a store.

        1. It’s probably not “illegal.” It’s just against the Craiglist terms of service. But so are (probably) a lot of other things you do in the ordinary course of a Craigslist transaction.

          The reality is, you may or may not have had a legally binding oral contract (my UCC knowledge isn’t great and I don’t know if MA is a UCC state, even). But if you refund her deposit promptly, it’s likely nothing will come of this.

          This is why I hate Craigslist.

          1. According to the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act of 2008, it is illegal to sell recalled items if you know they are recalled. See 15 U.S.C. section 2068(a)(2).

  21. A promotion I really want just went up and I literally walked into our big boss’ office and said, ‘I see you posted that position. I want you to know it’s something I am going to be apply for and I feel I could really excel in that position because of x, y, and z.’

    It was… liberating. Honestly, it’s something that I think men are taught to do and women are taught not to do, even from a very early age. I don’t think I realized how ingrained it was in me to sit back and follow procedure until I realized that every other man in my office who had gotten promoted had done that at some point, yet I had not.

    2. Wow! I almost skipped over this because I didn’t know what it would be, but it’s a post from Hillary Clinton honoring The Toast and its writers! Again… wow!

    4. I was just going to post the same thing! I’m very sad about losing The Toast and this was a bright spot.

    6. This actually made me cry this morning. So embarrassing. But I’m going to miss the Toast so much.

  23. I’m using Home Depot to redo my roof. Do I need to tip the subcontractors even though I’m already paying Home Depot? If yes, how much?

    1. I bought the roofers lunch platters at a local fast-food resaturant. I didn’t tip — there were, like, 8-12 of them.

    3. I don’t tip them. I do try to have cold bottles of water or lemonade or something available when it is hot outside. But I think that is just a nice thing to do–not required or anything and sometimes I have not been home when having work done and in that case I don’t do anything.

  24. Awkward situation. My law firm associate mentor is on paternity leave. A few weeks after his baby was born I had a baby outfit sent to his house (with a card saying congratulations). I know the package was delivered to his mailbox, but he hasn’t reached out to say anything about it.

    At what point is it worth making sure he got it? I’m worried someone might have stolen it from their mailbox. But I don’t want to be awkward and text him to see if they got it.

    This is why it would be nice if people just acknowledged gifts right away :(

    1. Never. If it were like a $200 wedding gift, sure. But a baby outfit? Never. He is prob too busy to write a thank you note right away, and if it did go missing oh well.

        1. Still though, never. You have no reason at all to think it was stollen. He is your mentor. Let it go.

        2. If you need such a prompt thank you for a small gift, just don’t give the gift next time.

    2. He’ll probably say something when he returns to work. It’s probably a stretch to expect a prompt thank-you here.

    3. Ehhh, I might leave this one until he gets back and/or until you see him face-to-face. Don’t know if this is his first or his fifth, but he’s probably exhausted and it slipped his mind.

    4. Oh my god, he has a newborn. He likely not sleeping, not eating often, and not writing thank you cards the minute he opens his mailbox. Cut him a break!

    5. Give a gift because you want to give a gift, not because you want to be thanked for it. There are any number of reasons, as people have already said that he has not mentioned it to you. He may never mention it to you. Oh well. Is it good manners to thank you, of course, but is he bound to do it, no. If it got stolen, it got stolen. Unless he lives in a city where it was out on his front porch, it’s unlikely it got stolen. My packages sit out front of my city row house and manage to not get stolen and we had a murder and have muggings and shootings blocks away.

    6. Wow. Do you have ANY idea what it’s like to have a new baby? It can be earth shattering, mind-blowing chaos. A decent human being would be empathetic about that, not all frowny about an unacknowledged gift. This is so selfish and gross.

      1. Um what??? I’m not selfish, I’m wondering if they actually got the gift and I have no way of knowing. Some people really enjoy name calling at internet strangers.

        1. Um what you totally said it was problem he didn’t acknowledge your gift immediately, with frowny face, and said it wasn’t “nice.”

    7. do not text him to see if he got it. If he’s like I was with a newborn, he might not even know where his pants are, much less how to write a thank-you note.

      1. I never said I expected a “thank you note.” He and I sometimes text- I thought he might just confirm they got it. It’s what I would do but it’s true I haven’t had kids yet.

        1. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought “I should text so and so” and then gotten waylaid by baby/kid stuff before I found my phone. You will understand if you ever have kids. I agree with everyone else: he has a newborn. Do not expect anything from him. You can text him to say you hope he and his family are doing well, but nothing that requires a response. If you’re lucky, he’ll see the message and say “everything’s great, thanks for the gift,” but don’t read into a lack of reply.

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