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Metallic flats continue to be a trend, and these ones from J.Crew look great. I like the lug sole contrasting with the shiny silver — I feel like it adds a gravitas — but that's me. I'd suggest swapping them out in outfits you might have worn with a white shoe (sneaker or loafer) in the past.
The loafers are $228, available in sizes 5-12. They're also available in toffee suede, navy patent, and black patent.
(The light blue suede versions of these are down to $149 today, with most sizes still left.)
(If you've been on the hunt for a piece with both black AND navy — one of the easiest ways to wear black and navy together — this loafer is a great example.)
Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
anon
I’ve been so tempted by these.
I’m running for office and looking for simple but fun/memorable knee length dresses with sleeves. I’m very busty for my size (6) and pretty curvy, so take that into account. I can’t go looking like Jessica Rabbit. My budget is up to like $500 maybe more if it’s perfect. Anybody seen anything?
anon
Hey that’s awesome!
Would this work? https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/nadia-ponte-midi-dress-warm-cranberry/sty-d0770-red?cat=C1_S2_G4
anon
Thank you! That wouldn’t work on my body type, unfortunately. I’m built a bit like a p*rn star in a kind of embarrassing way, so anything with pieces around the bust is just not going to fit and, if it does fit, it would draw too much attention. Ugh.
I really appreciate the link though. :)
Anonymous
ooh cute dress
Anon
Maybe sizing up somewhere like Leota (fun prints, like DVF but wallet-friendly and washable) and then having them taken in where you don’t need the fabric? Their stuff does not wrinkle and packs / travels well. IMO flat black puts the focus on the person and not the dress, so you can add on something of interest (scarf, earrings, etc.).
An.On.
Would something like eShakti work? You can do a lot of customization with their styles, but I haven’t ordered anything from them myself, so I don’t know how the quality is.
Anne-on
I just got an email that the Fold is starting a sale tomorrow, maybe see if anything there fits the bill?
Anon
Girl, you are looking for a unicorn. I have a dressy, public-facing role and my closet is full of short-sleeve, knee-length, memorable dresses I’ve collected over a decade. You think I’m kidding that it’s taken me that long – I’m not. I find a dress I like, I buy it in every color it comes in. If I’m lucky, I can find two good dresses a year. A decade ago, it was the J.Crew suiting line (RIP) that would produce one dress a year in some beautiful colors (I still stalk these on ebay); pre-COVID, pre-private equity buy-out, it was Brooks Brothers; Talbots has its highs and lows. Right now, AT is actually doing well – there are quite a few SSKL dresses on their site – and they release new collections about every 6 weeks, so there’s always a new hit of dresses.
Anon
https://thefoldlondon.com/product/casona-dress-dark-green-jersey/
Anon
Man, I wish the Fold came in a size bigger than 14.
Anonymous
Man, I want that, but I also don’t want to pay $465 for synthetic fabric.
Anonymous
A couple of these might work: https://kimfrance.substack.com/p/dresses-with-grown-up-hemlines-a83
https://kimfrance.substack.com/p/more-dresses-with-grown-up-hemlines
I’m really busty and have recently had luck with cowl neck sheath dresses – the extra fabric in the bust is very forgiving. The ones I have gotten were used, so I don’t have specific recommendations.
Anonymous
maybe something from mmlafleur? the jillian, felisa, or carly dress might work
https://mmlafleur.com/collections/styles-by-body-type
also look at black halo
oh or hobbs? i feel like the british brands do better by busty women
https://www.hobbs.com/us/product/amira-dress/0223-5998-9845L00-HOLLY-GREEN.html#cgid=workwear-clothing-dresses&is=true&sz=60&start=0&isSecondPage=false&pid=0223-5998-9845L00-HOLLY-GREEN&pos=22
Anonymous
maybe use that etsy chick who does a lot of markle/middleton dupes? i think it’s all custom so she can change stuff up how you want.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/735779096/kate-middleton-green-dress-swing?click_key=131ec42f71fb5586daadc951eebb6a0275aabc12%3A735779096&click_sum=367b6379&ref=shop_home_active_25&crt=1
Runcible Spoon
Maybe a ponte knit high-neck dress from Talbots, like this: https://www.talbots.com/sheer-sleeve-ponte-dress/P233036572.html?cgid=apparel-dresses&dwvar_P233036572_color=BLACK&dwvar_P233036572_sizeType=MS#start=1
Or one of the Traveler’s Collection dresses from Chicos, like this: https://www.chicos.com/store/product/travelers+petal+print+dress/570352118?color=1628&catId=cat40023
Good luck!
Anonymous
Get some things that are close to what you’re looking for and get them tailored to fit. I am also very busty and I have never been able to make anything but casual dresses work off the rack. You’ll look better in a $250 tailored dress than a $500 dress thats nice but doesn’t quite fit.
Trixie
https://thefoldlondon.com/product/octavia-dress-navy-and-stone-stretch-ponte/
Jules
Maybe some of the Karen Kane wrap dresses?
This is pretty, but you might want a lower neck. (I’m similarly busty and high necks sometimes seem to create a vast expanse of bosom on me.) https://www.amazon.com/Karen-Kane-Womens-Sleeve-Cascade/dp/B0C5TT5HX9/ref=sr_1_1?crid=LPAVEMSOJY13&keywords=karen+kane+wrap+dresses+for+women&qid=1695333194&sprefix=karen+kane+wrap+dresses+for+women%2Caps%2C120&sr=8-1
I have a number of the old Jones New York brand’s faux wrap dresses and they are great (with pins or snaps at the neckline to avoid wardrobe malfunctions). I see some similar items on Poshmark that might be worth a look. E.g. https://poshmark.com/listing/Jones-New-York-Green-Blue-Geometric-Print-Mock-Wrap-Stretch-Dress-Size-Small-64dcd663a5bb34d52743d754 and https://poshmark.com/listing/Jones-New-York-Dress-Fit-and-Flare-Polk-Dot-Black-White-Size-6-Occasions-64cf356c3fd8e7af33e307da and https://poshmark.com/listing/Jones-New-York-Collection-Pho-Wrap-Dress-64978671f51a0f14c5b11c48
Anon
scanlan Theodore knits
pleats please by Issey Miyake
max mara
I’m busy and have found styles in these brands that work.
oh, and Miriam Baker in Toronto.
Anon
Oops *Busty.
Lexi
Former elected here. I love the Boden Ottoman dress. They release it in different colors every year in addition to the basics. I’m 5’6” and curvy, and this dress works. Hits me at the knee, photographs well, comfortable, and can handle a 16 hour day. Just a caution on the neckline— I preferred higher round necklines because you want to be able to act naturally and not worry about flashing in photos, especially when handing out awards and bending over to talk to children. Just a thought. Oh, and pockets!
Good luck!
https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/ellen-ottoman-dress-bright-blue/sty-j0603-blu?cat=C1_S2_G4
Go for it
Oh my do I love these!
anon for this
I am trying to hire a housecleaner and none of the five I have talked to so far have insurance. I’m starting to second guess myself as to how much of a big deal this is as I gather another set of names. It’s important, right? I’d strongly prefer a solo person but maybe I need to find a small company.
Anon
Personally I would never hire an individual to clean my home for both tax and liability reasons. A service is more expensive, but that money buys a lot of peace of mind.
Anonymous
Where as I pay an uninsured individual cash under the table and never worry a bit about it!
Anon
It’s job dependent, but if you have any kind of public role it’s a huge risk to pay an employee under the table.
Runcible Spoon
Yes, I can never be nominated by the President for a Senate-confirmed position due to a previous cleaning-lady issue.
Anonymous
I wasn’t asking for advice and am not confused.
Anonymous
@RuncibleSppon –
You can if Trump is the president and the Senate flips
Explorette
So true. Unless you were a man and gardened with said cleaning lady, then you are in!
Anon
I know you’re being sarcastic but there are a lot of jobs short of POTUS where this could be a big deal. In any career with a professional license (including lawyer), you can potentially lose your license for this.
Anonymous
Do I need to go back and pay SS and FICA on my old dog walker so the bar doesn’t strip me of my livelihood?
Anonymous
Having been through this same struggle, even the companies are a struggle. Had several tell me they have insurance but wouldn’t actually provide a certificate of insurance, or provided one that was old, or “oh, we can only provide that after you’ve signed up,” etc. We finally just checked to make sure our own insurance coverage was robust, umbrella policy in place, etc., and lowered our standards. It’s super frustrating.
Anon
To be honest, I have no idea if my housekeeper has insurance. None of my possessions are worth enough for me to worry about this. If it’s important to you, a small company is probably the way to go.
Anon
Isn’t the concern over the hired person being injured and suing? I am not worried about my possessions either.
Anon
Maybe, but I’m just not that worried about it. I’m a lawyer so I know the potential risks.
Anon
I can’t bankroll a skip and fall lawsuit or any chance of damages (which could include years of lost wages). Also an IRS audit
Anon
Also a lawyer, also no idea if my husband and wife house cleaners have insurance. I have umbrella in case someone breaks their leg on my sidewalk and rely on that coverage generally.
Anon
That’s for a guest or passer-by. IDK that it covers someone who is there to work for you though. Like it may not include workers comp as a covered risk.
Anon
I still am not that concerned in the grand scheme of risks in my life. You do you.
Anon
Are you the same person who couldn’t understand why people might use that leather tech case? Not everybody is going to have the same preferences or risk tolerance as you. You don’t have to argue with everyone about it. It’s quite tiresome.
Duckles
Insurance for what? Your homeowners protects you if they’re injured in your property.
Anon
If they slip and fall, don’t they go after you as their employer, which plain homeowners’ insurance doesn’t cover? That’s what I’d worry about — a bad back or slipping on the stairs.
[Like don’t you need workers comp insurance not just for nannies, but for any household employees (so n/a if you go through a service that carries its own insurance and is the employer of record, but if the person works directly for you? I don’t think there is an hours limit or it is just for FT employees.]
Anon
No. They’re an independent contractor, not an employee.
don't misclassify low wage workers
This is mistaken. Calling someone an independent contractor and not an employee doesn’t make that true. Under many circumstances, an individual housecleaner would be properly classified as a very part-time employee, not an independent contractor.
Do people misclassify housecleaners as independent contractors and get away with it? Definitely. But, it doesn’t make it correct. And, it’s pretty crummy for people who earn the least to not get the benefits of being employed, like the employer’s contribution to SS and Medicare taxes.
And, sometimes, it does come back to bite employers who misclassify their household staff.
Anon
I thought that labeling them an independent contractor doesn’t have any legal effect.
FWIW, I called my homeowner’s insurance and they said we should hire someone with insurance, because our homeowner’s policy wouldn’t cover them suing us for a workplace injury, which was my main concern. I’m not very worried about my possessions.
Anon
You need to read up on the Schedule H requirements. Anyone working in your home is a household employee and subject to payroll tax. You’re welcome to pay both portions of the tax yourself, and give the person the “gross,” but in no way are they contractors. I mean, do you give your cleaner a 1099? Of course not!
Duckles
I’m out of my depth answering this definitely so could be mistaken, but I remember years ago when i looked this I was comfortable that my renters insurance covered it so I just assumed my homeowners now does too. I think a nanny is different bc you’re actually their employer whereas other service workers you’d just be contracting them.
anon for this
The primary reason would be injury, but also if they were to break something in my home, or if there were issues with theft. I grew up with a single person cleaning, she was like an auntie to us, and I would love to find that again.
Anon
Are you sure she was insured?
worker-owned co-ops
If you’re hiring an individual housecleaner, wouldn’t you as the employer be the one to provide insurance? You can check with your homeowners’ policy–some cover workers’ comp for folks who work just a few hours a week for no extra charge.
If you don’t want to be an employer, that’s what companies are for. I’m a big fan of worker-owned co-ops because all the profits go to the workers.
Anon
Yes, it’s important. Cleaners used Magic Erasers on my double glazed windows and caused $16,000 of damage. Cleaners need to be insured.
Anon
I was happy being blissfully ignorant of all of this. I made my son quit his pizza delivery job because of the liability consequences. I never once thought about whether my cleaner would be covered if she fell and injured herself. Or whether I had to take out social security.
Anon
I have some BR Martin (full leg, not tapered) pants that I want to hem for flats and loafers. I’m 5-4. Is 28″ about right to hem them to? Or is there a rule about how much forefoot or ankle to show? I don’t want to go too short or wind up with capris by accident. I can wear flats when I go to the tailor, but am schooled for years in how pants should look with heels and may get this fatally wrong and too short or just looking weird.
Anonymous
Wear flats to the tailor. A good tailor will not get it fatally wrong.
Duckles
You’ll have more luck just going to a tailor with the shoes you want to wear. I’d guess more like 29” but you don’t want to do it based on a number.
Anon
The tailor will know. But as someone who is also 5’4, 28 inches sounds about right to me.
Anonymous
Also 5’4 inches and that’s my number but yours may vary.
Anon
Also 5’4” but 28” would be comically short on me. Different proportions.
Anon.
Yeah, different proportions. I’m 5’6 and my sister is 5’2. Our legs are roughly the same length. Wear shoes to the tailor.
Anonymous
I’m 5’5” and need 31 inches. I think you need to measure this personally.
anon
I’m ready to give up on jeans. I can’t find anything in a current cut that doesn’t make me look really dumpy and larger than I am. I have large hips and thighs, always have, at any size. My torso is very straight, though, so curvy cuts don’t always work because they cut in at the waist too much.
What casual pants should I look for instead, to replace jeans? I want to wear them with sweaters, tees, etc? Joggers actually work really well on me, but they def have a more athleisure vibe. Not sure how I feel about cargos.
Anon
Pull on pants à la Eileen Fisher?
Vicky Austin
Following with interest because I think I’m in the same boat.
Anonymous
Before you give up on jeans, have you tried a girlfriend cut? I’m built similarly and find them at least comfortable and somewhat flattering. The ones I have are from the Gap.
brokentoe
Check out the OGC Chinos @ Old Navy. They were recommended here, I bought a pair in the olive color and they are a great stand-in for jeans.
Anonymous
I consider any pants that I can machine wash and dry to be casual pants.
My thought is to browse a few of your favorite stores and see what you can find.
Anonymous
Have you tried a boyfriend cut, girlfriend cut, or barrel-legged cut? These all tend to have looser cuts in the thighs. I have very large thighs, so these types of cuts fit me more like slim legged cuts would fit someone with thinner legs.
Joggers probably work because they have a looser thigh but then are tapered further down the leg. I get the same effect with jeans by buying a cut that fits my thighs, and then having them tapered slightly from the knee down so they aren’t flopping around my calves. This makes them fit me more like a straight-leg jean fits someone else.
For non-jean pants, try joggers in elevated fabrics (not athleisure fabric). Or parachute pants, or cargo pants. I’ve also had success with wide-leg pants in soft fabrics (so the fabric collapses back against my leg). I like wide-leg pants in canvas, soft denim, or even palazzo style.
anon
I tried a boyfriend cut a long time ago, and it definitely provided more room in the legs. I didn’t like the lower cut rise, but maybe it’s worth trying again since all rises seem higher in 2023.
Runcible Spoon
NoGa pants from Duluth Trading are good for casual wear, topped by sweaters, t-shirts, etc.
Sallyanne
Mother or Levi jeans (Hustler, weekend or wedgie for Levi). Paige for chino types. I feel your pain. Regardless of weight or muscle mass, I will always be “heavier” on the bottom half. Sadly more expensive jeans tend to look better on my shape…but a few good pairs have been worth it.
Anon
Wedgie? That is not something I’d want to have!
Sallyanne
Completely dumb name agreed but they do flatter!
Anonymous
Try a pull on pair. I developed a nickel allergy that’s really bad so can no longer where anything rivets or zippers. Turns out I actually look better in pull on denim and denim with tie waists. I like Judy Blue.
Anonymous
I’ve had luck with Benetton chinos with similar thighs.
Anon
This was a super interesting read: how different countries rank various values (obedience, selflessness, good manners, etc) when it comes to raising children. https://www.kcl.ac.uk/policy-institute/assets/parenting-priorities.pdf
parent
So interesting! Maybe post on the moms’ page tomorrow for more discussion?
Anon
I’m visiting a friend who I haven’t seen in over a year for brunch this weekend. I’m bringing her a bottle of champagne, which is something I know she’ll like. She’s got two kids, around 5 and 3. Should I bring something for them? Is there a toddler equivalent of a hostess gift?
anon
I don’t think you need to at all, but just get a sticker book or something like that to give you more time to visit.
Vicky Austin
+1 I was going to say stickers or maybe bubbles or something else consumable.
Anon
+2 to stickers or other consumable art supplies. Tempera paint sticks were a big hit with my kids at those ages. It will definitely buy you some more time to chat with your friend.
Anonymous
+2 to stickers or other consumable art supplies. Tempera paint sticks were a big hit with my kids at those ages. It will definitely buy you some more time to chat with your friend.
Anonymous
do you know her policy on juice? my kids never get OJ so they would be thrilled at that, but you could also get a fancy but yummy juice also.
Anonymous
I vote a very fancy looking bottle of juice that they can drink when the adults are drinking champagne. Ask mom what they might like and see what you can find.
Anonymous
I’d get something to keep the kids busy while you visit. Melissa & Doug magnets, sticker/coloring book etc.
FP
Love that! A small gift (a multipack of matchbox cars, or a small Duplo pack) is fun, as is two donuts or pastries. If the weather is still nice where you are, bubbles are usually a fun idea.
Anonymous
maybe something like this? i’m busty and this neckline would be better than a crew on me… https://www.nordstrom.com/s/lemoni-a-line-midi-dress/7555696?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=002
or something like this teal maggy london dress would work too
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/maggy-london-side-pleat-sheath-dress/7206375?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=265
jm
I like both of those a lot!
Peaches
Oh that teal is lovely!
Anon
OMG the Sophie Turner – Joffrey Jonas drama is giving me all of the Family Law PTSD. I thought that class would make me the next Laura Wasse and it was just a lot of interstate compacts and treaties about jurisdiction about habitual abodes.
Winter is coming.
anon
Their poor kids. What an absolute mess.
Anon
She is at least going through the courts. Hopefully they settle quietly but the jurisdictional issues are a big hurdle to clear.
anon
She can’t just take them to England, can she? Not when they’ve been living in the US and owning property here? I am not a lawyer and don’t get it.
Anon
I think they have been all over. The home in FLA, which IIRC was bought as a way to claim FLA residency for tax purposes, was barely lived in and the WSJ covered when it was sold. A week here and a week there, in different states and countries, even if for work, does not make this easy. Am a lawyer, but not a family lawyer.
He is touring now. I doubt a court will keep them from a planned visit with their mom (who just wrapped a project) to stay with a nanny. That is just a now problem; IDK what a court will do now or once the oldest kid is old enough to start school. This is going to be a hard case on the facts, never mind hard on the kids.
Anonymous
She’s claiming they agreed in 2022 to move back to England (maybe she got homesick after baby #2?) so they sold their house in Miami and moved to England in April. He went on tour and then filed for divorce in August. Maybe he changed his mind about living in England? I feel like he LOVES being famous and was not impressed that they are way less famous outside the US.
Renting and not buying immediately in England is not a red flag for me. The property market there can be wonky on purchases sometimes. Especially if you are hoping to reno something and need a million approvals because it’s historical. Some people rent with the intent to buy and they don’t buy if they can’t get the reno approvals.
Anonymous
It’s going to be a nightmare. They sold their house in Miami ages ago but he filed there for some reason. She claims they moved to England in April but just filed in NYC because that’s where the kids are currently and she can’t get access.
Feels like he went on tour and Cersei Jonas got in his ear about moving back to US and he filed when she wouldn’t move. I bet Joffrey got big mad about the pap pics of her with the new guy earlier this week and refused to let her see the kids.
Anon
Am I taking crazy pills? Weren’t those photos from the film set she’s on?
Anonymous
UK has much better pap laws. I hope she can keep them there.
Anon
They wouldn’t need them if Team Jonas hadn’t stirred up the pot with 500 stories about what a hard-partying bad mom she is. I don’t know that I’ve heard a Jonas Brothers song but I definitely don’t care to now. And I’ve never seen her except in GOT, which it seems like half the planet was in over the past decade, but I have to think that he is playing dirty. Couples divorce all the time. Even over great distances. It helps to have a parent who keeps the drama out of the public eye, because at some point the kids are going to read all of this and decide for themselves.
Anonymous
He’s clearly got the paps on speed dial. Pictures of her with the kids in NYC like right after she filed as though the fact that she got to see them in NYC at a hotel is the same as being able to bring them home to England.
And no nanny when she was out. He got papped a couple weeks ago eating outside, facing the paps with a nanny in tow. I wonder if he’s ever been alone with the kids. He seems like the kind of guy that would make sure his wife, his mom or the nanny was always around.