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Anon
Has anyone purchased through Cettire? I was casually looking up a designer item and it’s almost 50% cheaper on there than on the designer’s website. Which makes me assume it isn’t legit, but it would be nice if it was.
Hellooooooo
HeyMrsSolomon on IG has purchased from there and I trust her reccs.
Anon for this
My husband’s family is driving me insane and I’m wondering what I should do with this. So we have always tried really hard to rotate holidays fairly. Even years, Thanksgiving is with my side of the family/ odd years it is with Husband’s side of the family. I thought we were going to have Thanksgiving at BIL’s beautiful newly finished house; however, when I messaged SIL she had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. Long story short, inlaws are super critical in general (I think it’s meant in love? But seriously, every conversation is like the bad part of your annual performance review.) and I think that somehow they a) invited themselves and my family b) are not really welcome because SIL says they’ll just point out the parts of the house which are unfinished and c) now there’s discussion that maybe SIL and BIL will just go out of town?
Do I: a) Call my sister and join her and my mom and her husband’s family where my kids will be criticized for not sitting quietly in a corner being seen and not heard. b) Call my best friend who lives down the road and has kids so it’ll likely be more fun for kids but also piss my mother off. c) Go to some other out of town destination and eat at a restaurant.
anon
Eh, don’t tell mom yet. See how it plays out with SIL then a couple days before, if mom asks tell her it fell through and you are really looking forward to just doing thanksgiving with your kids and husband. We’ve switched up the rotation where we include holidays that are just for us and it is SO MUCH better. Chilling in your own house, and waking up in your own bed is just so nice … plus, for dietary reasons, just not having to worry about getting dairy’d is so much less stress.
Anon for this
Yeah, this is what we do for Christmas and it’s so nice.
Anon
I started doing Thanksgiving at my home once my kids were elementary school aged. My husband changed jobs and had to work the Friday after Thanksgiving for several years until he built up seniority, so it was the perfect excuse. People were welcome to join us (family never did, some friends did) but we were staying put. I love my little nuclear family Thanksgiving!
Having it be about my husband’s job was considered an unquestionable excuse in my family. YMMV
Anon
If I have kids I’m going to put my foot down about doing holidays at home. I think it’s important for kids to have traditions in their own homes.
Anon
I’m 3:01. Yeah, we made Christmas an at-home holiday earlier than Thanksgiving because we did the whole Santa/chimney/stockings thing, but often traveled to my mom’s for some time between xmas and new years. I don’t mind spending new years somewhere else. I like a big gathering where no one has to drive!
Anon
That’s easy to say, but kids thrive with all types of traditions. I grew up with Christmas morning at home, but my husband and his cousins always slept over at his grandma’s and did it together. He LOVED it and believes the more the merrier; he is the one who insists we should sleep over at my parents and spend the morning with my sisters and families because that was his special memory. So far we’ve never done Christmas morning in our house (three kids, one on way), but I think I’ll advocate trying it out next year.
As for me, my favorite holiday was Thanksgiving, when we drove to my nana’s the night before, woke up to good smells, and spent the day with tons of people, and that boisterous energy is the epitome of thanksgiving for me. We have the option to stay home this year and I’m a little sad about it!
Kids love traditions, period, whatever you choose. I do like the “set it and forget it” method because I (and my kids) like consistency.
Anon
Agree with 4:39. It’s fine if you want to stay home, but we went to family friends every Thanksgiving and those annual visits are some of my most cherished childhood memories. Kids can make special memories anywhere.
Anon
Do you have local people over or is it just your nuclear family?
Anon
+1 I truly cannot imagine any holiday being spent only with nuclear family. My family eats dinner together every night … it’s like there’s nothing to make the holiday special?
We do a larger Thanksgiving and Christmas with an assortment of both sides of the family (everyone is local) and family friends. Basically, whoever is around is invited and welcome to join. It’s a ton of fun.
This is how my parents’ did holidays when I was a kid and I loved it, and now my kids love it!
Anon
It’s extremely special having Thanksgiving with my nuclear family! Everyone pitches in to make dishes. It’s food we don’t eat very often. We set the table with linen napkins and family china. We take a walk after the meal in the brisk late afternoon air and then come back for dessert. We watch our first Christmas movie that night. We absolutely love it! My parents have both passed away now so we have to start somewhere.
Great if it doesn’t work for you, but you don’t need to yuck someone else’s yum to make your point.
Anon
We don’t have kids, just the two of us, yet we have a lovely luxurious Christmas lunch.
Anon
You may not have meant to sound judge mental but…
Moose
1.) It’s up to your in-laws weather they will host. Let them know that you are fine with whatever the decision is, but no need to get yourself involved.
2.) You (and your husband) get to decide what you want to do with your families. I totally get that there are tradeoffs, but sounds like there will be disappointments either way – you just have to decide what you can live with.
Moose
Also, it’s totally fine if you don’t have the bandwidth for the family drama! you can always opt out this year, and plan to spend time with family in another context if it’s less stress.
Anon
If you default to odd years with your husband’s family, you shouldn’t make other plans without at least first talking to your husband’s parents about their plans. Just because your SIL and BIL aren’t hosting doesn’t mean you can’t see his parents, right? And if you do decide not to see your in-laws, shouldn’t your husband get a lot of say in the plans? Especially if you drive the plans in even years when you’re with your family.
Of the three options you listed, B sounds by far the most appealing to me, but I think there are a bunch of people you need to talk to before you make this decision.
Anon for this
Sorry, I somehow forgot to add that husband is equally annoyed at his parents and their lack of boundaries and also wasn’t involved in the planning conversations I had this summer. Inlaws live close enough so that we see them at least monthly but far enough that it’s annoying to have to drive there on Thanksgiving. Husband will manage the inlaws feelings, but he basically asked me what I wanted to do if things fall through.
Critical update: I texted my best friend, annoyed about the whole thing. She immediately texted me back saying ‘Screw ’em and come to my house. It’ll be great.’ I hope everybody has a best friend like this.
An.On.
One year our travel plans fell through the day of and we ended up crashing a friend’s thanksgiving and it was really nice to do the dinner with people we wouldn’t normally share it with. I mean, fudge it however you want to keep the social niceties, but that’s my vote.
anon
+1. I would wait to see how it plays out with your husband’s family before making alternate plans. You can stay out of the drama, but take a wait and see approach. If you end up having Thanksgiving without your in-laws, then I’d choose Option B or C. If you choose A, you’ll disrupt the careful balance of seeing your mom every other year, and from your description, there’s no reason to do that.
anon
This is your husband’s side of the family, so what does he want to do?
Anon
first let DH verify you are not doing Thanksgiving with his parents/side of family since it is their year. if that is confirmed, if your mom and sister are not local —> tell them nothing and then at the last minute your plan with inlaws fell through and so you just decided to stay in town and go to your friend’s
Anon
This is the way.
Anon
Have your own Thanksgiving with just your family.
Cb
Oof, I hate this drama. We’re always stepping in it with my in laws. Tonight my mother in law got annoyed that my mum got my husband a better birthday present (a used item for a hobby he and my son have, probably a bargain knowing my mom). I think we just have to stop telling her anything, have my parents visit in secret, etc.
Seventh Sister
I know I’m going to be sad when my kids can’t be home for every Christmas or Thanksgiving or Easter – I almost lost it on Halloween because in three years, my daughter will almost certainly be away at college. But I don’t want to grow up to be the kind of person who gets upset over the fact that my kids are at the in-laws for Christmas…
Anon
If your kids’ inlaws are nearby, I highly recommend combining holidays with both sides! That’s what my family does and it’s so fun.
Anon
Can’t you spend it at home?
Anon
can gluten free flour generally be substituted for regular flour when baking at the same ratio? we have a gluten free guest for Thanksgiving and I’m making squash muffins that require 1 cup of flour
Anon
Generally yes. Iowa Girl Eats has lots of good GF baking advice.
anon
Look for something that has 1:1 on the label.
Anon for this
If you’re using something like Cup 4 Cup – yes. If you’re just using a gluten free flour like rice flour, you’ll likely need something like xathum gum to make sure it’s got some structure.
I’d suggest using one of the remade blends (King Arthur Measure for Measure is my vote).
Anonymous
For squash muffins – absolutely! Pay attention to differences in terms of raising agents. If your wheat flour was self-raising, you might have to add both xantham gum and baking powder, e.g.
For baking where gluten is key to give bread or yeasted doughs structure you will most likely get an unsatisfactory result until you know what you’re doing with gluten free.
Anonymous
Do you let friends or family stay in your house while you are away? I am not really comfortable with this but my husband is.
Anon
I’d be fine with a good friend staying. But I also think the person who’s not okay with it gets the priority in the decision. Neither of you is unreasonable here.
Anon
No way. 100% no.
Cat
NOPE.
Anonymous
When I had dogs I paid friends and family to stay in my house while I was gone! And I have let my BF stay when I was gone because he lives outside the city and wanted to be in town for the weekend, but I guess that’s a bit different since he’s here a lot anyway.
Anon
There are about three people I would trust to do that.
Anon
I’m not sure I can even come up with three.
Relatives, they’d be happy to arrive but not so happy to leave, which is the main issue.
Anon
I don’t, my husband’s family does. I am forever irritated that (1) they have keys, and (2) his sister shacks up at our place without notice while we are gone, and stays in the master when we have perfectly nice guest room. So I guess expectations vary on this, but I’m very private about my space. I will let good friends stay over under some circumstances (I have advance notice, can tidy up, trust the person etc).
Anon
Ugh that would annoy the ever living crap out of me. Might I suggest a locking bedroom doorknob with one and only one key?
anon
I’m sorry – WHAT?!
Anon
Thanks for validating this is weird! My husband was perplexed by how upset I was about this. His sister lives with their parents and likes to have a space of her own. They have tried to present it as “house-sitting” but really she just likes to play house at our place. I had to establish firm boundaries the last time it happened and I think SIL was very offended about it. They are very “what’s mine is yours” in a way that is completely overwhelming to me.
anon
Oh hell no. If you are not a permanent resident, you do not get to use my bedroom. I can’t even.
Anonymous
WOW, no. no one is allowed to randomly use my bedroom. we have sex there… we have conceived children there. i don’t want someone else to be in my space (or have sex there either or even self-gardening).
Anon
No way. Sister needs to find her own place!!!!
anon
If you’re not ok with it, you’re not ok with it, and that’s totally fine. I think I come from a default “no” and then find a reason to make an exception. Few examples…
A very good friend recently had a broken gas line to the house and emergency repairs snowballed. They were sans heat and hot water for 6 days and they have two little kids. It was 30 degrees overnight that week. If we were out of town, yes, I’d allow that. She’s also this most sane, reliable, responsible person I’ve ever met (idk why she wanted to be friends with me in college because #opposites ha) and would probably leave my house so much cleaner than the state she accepted it in.
But a friend just trying to avoid paying for a hotel room or something? Eeh, no.
A cousin that I don’t see that often in from out of town, questionable history of judgment/demonstrating responsibility? Nope. (DH’s cousin asked to do this – hard pass).
Anon
You mean, while the entire household is away? No, and I can’t even a situation in which someone would ask us. Friends and family would only want to be at my house if they were visiting me or a household member – if we were all out of town, why would they be there?
anon
No. That is weird. Why do they need to be there?
Anonymous
They are wealthy and frugal and want to avoid paying for hotel rooms. I wouldn’t have an issue hosting a smaller number of people if we were home, but they want to bring more people than we have beds and couches, and would need to use our bedroom.
Anon
What? Yeah, absolutely not. Your home is not an AirBNB.
Anon
My first reaction was a resounding yes people can stay at my house regardless of if I’m home or not, but now knowing this, I would say no.
Anon
Wealthy and frugal can be such an ugly combination. I don’t care if you drive an old volvo or wear the same clohes forever, I even applaud that, but “saving money” by costing your friends money is just an asshole move.
Anon
I thought you were about to hate on me so hard because my eyes caught “old Volvo.” I drive an old Volvo precisely so I have extra money and therefore don’t need to put costs onto my friends!
Anon
5:21 here, I also drive an old Volvo haha. I’m just not old money.
Senior Attorney
Oh hell naw.
Anon
No way!!!
Anonymous
I let one trusted family member (and their long time partner) stay in our house and take care of our pets, no one else. The rest of our family are not responsible enough to not damage our things nor hurt our animals (not intentionally,but they are neglectful and it would not surprise me if they let a pet out on the street to be hit by a car). I wish I had trustworthy family and this wasn’t a concern but I just can’t risk our home and our pets safety.
Senior Attorney
We’ve happily let my daughter stay in our house while we have been on vacation. Several years ago we had friends staying with us while their house was under construction, and we were on vacation for part of that time so they were here alone. So, I’m a “yes for certain very close people.”
That said, if you’re a “no” then that’s your answer.
Anon
Yes but only people I like and trust (but also – if I neither like nor trust you you’re not coming to
My house regardless of Im there or not!)
Anonymous
helllllll no
Anon
Yes but I’m probably an outlier on how willing I am to do things for my friends and family and I grew up in a family that does these sort of things.
For example: a few years ago my second cousin reached out to our extended family (most of us live in the DC suburbs, she grew up and still lives in the midwest). She was bringing her 3 kids to DC for a vacation and wanted to see us and also asked for hotel recommendations. My parents were going to be out of town at the time and INSISTED she stay at their house. This is a cousin who pretty much removed herself from the family post-divorce so none of us had spoken to her, let alone seen her, in years. And, my parents and her parents (my dad’s cousin and his wife) had a falling out after my grandmother died.
My family’s very much a “more the merrier” group and we always extend ourselves to our friends and family (in all sorts of situations, not just this one!).
AIMS
I think this is a little cultural and a little just your personality. I am fine with it. I grew up in a family that wouldn’t think twice about it. I have friends who trade apartments for vacations (i.e., one goes to stay in someone’s place in Rome while the Roman’s come stay in NYC). I understand that people feel differently and no one should be obligated to do anything they don’t want but some of these responses/reactions are just funny tome. You’d think the question was “do you have to share your toothbrush?”
FWIW, for me, it’s just person dependent. We had a family friend stay in our place when we were away recently and it was lovely. I trusted her to be responsible and not leave a mess and she loved staying like a local at our place. She was gone before we returned and left us a lovely home cooked dinner, ready to be warmed up in the fridge, which was lovely when we arrived home after a 7 hour flight and long airport delays late at night.
Anon
I agree, these comments are just so funny to me. I actually just asked a good friend if my parents could stay at her place while she’s away over thanksgiving. We live close to each other, and there are no hotels nearby. This is very common not just for me but for my friend group. Obviously not just anyone, but especially family.
Anon
No hotels nearby is a different situation than for most people on the board.
anonshmanon
I would totally let them, and actually invite it in the context of a house sitting arrangement. However, if you don’t want it, you get to say no and nobody should give you a hard time over that!
Anon
Honestly I am shocked by how many people have a problem with this (and how many are concerned with the sanctity of their beds). I regularly have house/pet sitters who stay at my house and sleep in my bed (I have only have two bedrooms and my daughter’s room until recently had a twin bed). If I was out of town and a member of my immediate family needed or wanted to stay at my house I would not have a problem and I regularly give up my room when my father and his wife stay with us (my Dad has major back issues and uses a walker; none of the other rooms would work and he is certainly not sleeping on the sofa bed). Which is not to say every second cousin twice removed would be welcome but I would not mind siblings, parents, or close friends.
That said: What I would do is irrelevant. It is your house and your comfort is most important. The problem is balancing your desires with your spouse and like everything else where there is no clear right vs. wrong position that is up to the two of you to negotiate.
Anon
I house sit regularly and I have never gone into the main bedroom or snooped around. I’ve left it just as clean or cleaner and so I’d like to think that I could trust others to do the same as me.
I don’t have a guest room so my pet sitters have slept in my bed.
My next door neighbours had us (including two dogs) to stay in their house while our bathroom was being renovated for six weeks – I insisted we pay them. Still good friends!
I’m a WASP and would rather stay at a hotel than impose on people but it can be negotiated!
Anon
It’s that time of year where I need to provide relatives with an Amazon wish list. I’m always flummoxed by this because most of the things I’m really into aren’t sold there. But it absolutely 100% must be Amazon and must be under $75 to $100. I also have to buy things from these people’s wish lists for them.
I have tried to be so practical in the past (I now have all the compression socks I will ever need, and an extremely well-stocked knitting cupboard) so I’m at a loss. What would you put on your amazon wish list?
Anonymous
Bath salts or the like?
Anon
I mean, Amazon has everything. Books are the obvious one. They carry a lot of beauty brands. Do you need anything for the kitchen? I was just looking at a nice Lodge dutch oven and cast iron pan that were good prices.
Senior Attorney
Consumables? Amazon has wine and food gifts. You can even get Harry & David gifts on Amazon.
Cb
I’d do big beautiful coffee table books or cookbooks with some small le crueset things. I have heart shaped ramekins that I use all the time. I’ve also got these nice umbra floating shelves.
Iris Apfel
Le Crueset mugs are really nice. Sturdy but not too heavy.
anonn
+1
Anon
That mug is a really good idea. Like most people, I have too many mugs, but I could get rid of some and make way for the Le Creuset ones. They’re so pretty.
Anonymous
Pendleton texting gloves are in my ‘saved for later’ right now. Is there anything you’d like to have for your kitchen (a new blender, eg)? Board games? Movies? Home decor? I’m a sucker for those flameless candles that look like they’re flickering. I bought them thinking they would add ambience safely, and they do! But their major use is by the kids who turn off the lights, carry the ‘candles’ around and pretend they’re lost in the woods.
OP
I just added those to my list. Thank you!
I’d love a Pendelton throw but they’re 50% to twice as much at Amazon as on the pendleton site, and over the limit at full price.
Amazon is not always a great deal!
anon
Do you cook? If so, how about the giant buckets of Maldon flaky sea salt? They have a smoked version, too.
Anon
Yes, smoked salt! And some truffle tapenade while you are at it.
Anon
I would probably see if there were scented candles I like, or I’d list books.
Just a little +1 on your irritation. I know we talk about gift giving all the time on here, but it really doesn’t feel special to me to pick out a list of stuff I half heartedly want and to also buy a specific item someone else tells me. I’d rather buy my own stuff and let them save their money and buy their own stuff.
Anon
Fancy Peugeot pepper and salt grinders.
anon
Books. Weird gadgety things that intrigue me but I’d never buy (like a coffee mug warmer). Fancy pens. Something for the house or office. Stuff for one of my hobbies.
I hear you; my MIL exclusively shops Amazon and Kohls. I don’t love it, but what are you gonna do?
Cat
I mean it could be almost anything. Travel guidebooks? Beach towels? Fresh flip flops? Books? Coffee maker? Dustbuster? Plastic wine glasses? A travel mug? Puzzles? Things that YOU want to buy someone else so might as well be intentional about receiving things to re-gift?
Anonymous
Do a search for “articles” that list Amazon items that make life/home/organization/cleaning easier or better. I’ve found some really good or clever items on those lists.
Also: Specialty foods, books, cookbooks, skincare, nail care, small decor items.
Anon
Consulting my Amazon lists, apparently:
A sun lamp
Luxury toothpaste
Throw pillow covers and blankets
Pajamas and robes
Imported spices (e.g. S&B Curry) and teas (Lovare, Ahmad)
Glassware (Pasabahce, Duralex)
Cocktail bitters
Small appliances (electric kettle, egg cooker, waffle maker)
Phone accessories (phone case, charging cable)
Skincare products (MyChelle, Weleda)
OP
hmmm, tell me about these teas & spices!
Electric kettle and egg cooker were past gifts, haha.
Anon
Ahmad just has regular teas that are on the strong side (I like Earl Gray). Lovare has teas upgraded with flower petals and fruits. I also found osmanthus flowers to add to any tea (like green or oolong) to upgrade it to osmanthus tea.
Besides spices I’d otherwise have to make a trip to an Asian market or import store to find (S&B Curry, Korean chili flakes for making sundubu jjigae, black soy sauce), I really like the Spicely brand garlic powder. It tastes like raw garlic instead of like cooked garlic, so it’s not good for sprinkling on chili or pizza, but it’s amazing in cooking. We’re a “whole head of garlic” recipe household, and it still gets used a lot around here.
I’m not actually that into cooking, but we got really stir crazy during the pandemic, and trying new foods and recipes from places we’d never been seemed to help! Fancy vinegar, finishing salts, or truffle oils are other ones we’ve been gifted off Amazon wishlists that we appreciated and that fell into the low stakes “consumables” category.
Re. small appliances, a year since receiving it, we finally broke out the handheld mixer and it’s seeing a lot of use now for hot foods we don’t want to put in the Nutribullet. We use the electric kettle daily and the egg cooker nearly weekly, so those were actually good ones for us!
Shopping for my own self, I’m currently thinking of plug-in seat heaters for the porch, since I’m increasingly jealous of the plug-in heated cat bed my cats uses all winter. I’ve been hesitating over this one a bit since there’s not a name brand to assure me it’s not junk, but I also don’t know where else I’d buy one.
Anon
Ok, now tell me about the plug in, heated cat bed. Your responses triggered a lot of interest!
Anon
I’m want to know about the cat bed too. I’ve been looking at these because our house is freezing and my aging cats seem like they’re cold, but it seems like all the ones on Amazon are the gibberish noname brands that are probably fine, but make me a little afraid that they’ll burn my house down, so an actual rec would be nice.
Anon
The cat bed is “K&H Pet Products Thermo-Kitty Fashion Splash Indoor Heated Cat Bed.” It has been a smash hit with every cat that’s encountered it once they stay on it long enough to “get” that it heats up. It’s ugly as sin, but I still have no regrets. I do unplug it when I leave the house, but I haven’t had any scares with it so far.
Anon
Thank you!
AIMS
Palais des Thes advent calendar would be on my wishlist (as it is, I get it for myself every year) – $38 on Amazon right now. All their teas are great and also make great gifts. I especially like the jasmine green tea and all the flavored black teas.
The Caudalie Vinotherapist Hand and Nail Cream with Shea Butter and Grape-seed Oil is amazing and exactly the kind of thing I feel slightly guilty buying for myself but love getting from others. I just ordered two from Sephora for gifts but Amazon also carries it. Amazon has lots of other beauty products, if you want anything else specific.
Joyce Chen Original Unlimited Kitchen Scissors – best scissors, period, end of story.
A humidifier, if you need one.
Anon
I would add cookbooks, silk hair ties, tea, skincare products, slippers (Dearfoams or some of the cheaper UGG styles), board games, Beyond Yoga workout tops, scalp massager, ice roller, electric hand mixer, crock pot….but I am also a person who Wants Things and never has trouble making gift lists lol.
Senior Attorney
I, a fellow Thing Wanter, salute you!
Anon
what do you like that isn’t sold on amazon? i personally am not a huge amazon fan either, but they really do have A LOT of stuff. though I agree that this is absolutely silly and makes the whole gift giving feel so transactional. anyway – normally there is nothing i want for any occasion because Im not a fancy person, dont like a lot of “stuff” and can generally buy whatever i want (not bc i have unlimited money or anything, but i just dont have a lot of wants), but two things i want right now, are covers for my stanley cup straw (though those cost like $7) and there is a Michael Aram picture frame I’m coveting, which is apparently sold on Amazon. are you a traveler? packing cubes, luggage tags? honestly, i’d probably just end up returning whatever the person gave me which should be pretty easy to do if you have to make a wish list and spending the money on my regular purchases
Anon
Things I like that aren’t sold on Amazon –
Diptyque candles & fragrances (too many fakes and no Diptyque storefront)
Cashmere sweaters from Land’s End (amazon has some but they’re limited and way more expensive than on the LE site)
and for skincare, I’m a mix of Beauty Pie, prescription, and Korean sunscreens (too many fakes on amazon)
Thanks everyone for the suggestions! I’m adding things to my wishlist so this has been really helpful!!
Anon
Bezelry buttons to upgrade jackets and coats, fleece-lined translucent tights, pillow sole knee highs, chocolate-dipped apricots, to crib from my recent order.
OP
Thanks! Added some of those buttons for a cardigan currently on the needles!
anon
I’ve used the website giftster for years, it will link to Amazon and lots of other websites. You could just be defiant and provide them with a list from there.
Anonymous
Amazon has the speed, free shipping, and ease of returns though, which is likely why they are saying to order off of Amazon. Given the gazillion things on Amazon this is really not hard.
OP
They have Amazon Prime membership and are determined to use only that.
AIMS
One of my favorite sunscreens is Nivea water gel spf 50. I originally founded it in a Korean beauty shop but it’s available on Amazon and I didn’t think it was fake (have been ordering it there since may).
Moose
I would go for fancy consumables you wouldn’t normally buy for yourself – olive oil, balsamic vinegar candles, coffee, tea, lotion, skincare, fragrances, hair products, nail polish, spices (whole peppercorns for me), Nespresso pods, craft supplies (knitting stuff for me), makeup, etc.
also…fancy hair hair accessories, silk pillow cases.
Anon
I buy my Fortnum & Mason tea on Amazon, because it’s just the best price.
Anon
What’s your favorite of the Fortnum & Mason teas? I was thinking of trying one but the actual sample packs are more expensive than just picking one to try.
Sunshine
Gift cards? There are gift cards to several retailers on Amazon and also Visa gift cards. I’d probably just put Starbucks gift cards on my list, and then enjoy the gifted coffee for a year.
anon a mouse
I recently got a portable extra monitor from there for when I travel for work and want something to extend my laptop screen, and I love it.
Think about recreation – do you need new beach towels, or camping chairs? A friend one year received a giant (like 6′) umbrella and it’s super ridiculous except at kid soccer games where she can shelter everyone.
Wirecutter likes the amazon brand dish towels.
Do you need a clothes steamer or an iron? A luxe yoga mat?
Whatabout recreation for over the holiday break – a puzzle, or a paint by numbers kit?
Anonymous
Amazon sells so many fake goods (and mixes goods in their warehouses) so there’s pretty much nothing I’d willingly buy from Amazon.
Anon
It’s a real problem. I try to avoid brands and categories of products where it comes up more or where it feels higher stakes (will burn down my house, poison me, etc.). It’s hard because some companies only sell through Amazon, and it seems that now that there are so many fake goods out there, fake goods show up elsewhere too.
OP
Right. I listed a few brands above that I like and I would never buy them from Amazon for this reason. I have actually received bad fakes before – fortunately Amazon stood behind it and processed a refund, but that’s really complicated when it’s a gift.
That said, I think the laneige lip balm holiday trio is probably OK & I added that.
Anon
– Flowers / plants. I love having fresh flowers and indoor plants and they can be ordered via Amazon via Whole Foods.
– Consumables. Fun spices, sauces, coffee, tea, niche ingredients.
– Books or Kindle gift card.
– Magazine subscription.
– Puzzles / board games / other craft or hobby (not knitting) supplies
– Fun stationary / notebooks / pens (I HATE the notebooks and pens provided by my office)
– Beauty supplies. I buy a lot from the brand’s store on Amazon so I feel like it’s safe. I love Dazzle Dry nail polish from Amazon, facemasks, makeup, moisturizer, etc.
Anon
I didn’t realize I could put magazine subscriptions on an Amazon wishlist; that’s an interesting one.
Flowers and plants was a good thought too; my sister’s houseplants are mostly from Amazon and she’s been happy with them (I think Costa farms is the seller).
Anon
Okay I should clarify that I’m not sure if they can be added to wish lists (though I don’t see why not!), but I know you can buy magazine subscriptions via Amazon. That’s where I get my NatGeo from!
OP
I didn’t know you could get houseplants off of Amazon. That is wild! It’s good to know your sister thinks Costa Farms is good – I just added one to my wishlist.
Anon
Hey, thanks everyone! For anyone still reading, I think I have a pretty great wish list now.
1) a made in Ukraine wool throw (brand Cozy Blankets)
2) Nonni’s biscotti
3) a trio of houseplants from Costa Farms
4) a flat bottom coffee mug and warmer (brand Vobaga)
5) a cookbook called “Chai, Chaat & Chutney” by Chetna Makan
6) dark chocolate covered apricots from B&R farms
7) Pendleton texting gloves
8) Laneige holiday hydration lip mask set
9) A needlepoint pillow kit & matching backing (brand Brvsk)
10) a Nest grapefruit candle
11) a set of face cloth washcloths
12) the recommended amazon kitchen towels
13) tea from Mariage Feres
14) three books about perfume and one about botany
15) Biore UV aqua SPF
I’d really be happy with any of these and not feel wasteful, so huge win. Thanks again!
Anon
I’d get skincare products I like. Eg PeterThomas Roth, Paula’s choice etc.
Anon
Can a tailor slim the legs of my jeans? I purchased a pair of jeans in a unique style/color that I love, but they turned out to be one size too big after wearing and letting them get baggy. The jeans are sold out online and I can’t find them on Poshmark, so I’m wondering what can be done by a tailor… thank you!
Anon
Yes, you can take in the side seams or the inner seams. Get someone good if you want the stitching replicated.
Anon
Yes. I used to get the legs taken in for every pair of skinny jeans. By the time I hemmed several inches off the bottom, the section that hit my lower legs and ankles was wide enough to hit a normal person’s calf muscle. This is the only reason I can accept skinny jeans being out of style.
Anonymous
I have never knit anything, but I read about a teenager who knit her autistic brother “long strands out of yarn for him to pull when he felt mad or sad” – does anyone know what that might be called so I could learn how to do it?
Anon knitter
It’s probably an icord.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfkFRa9tjns&ab_channel=StudioKnit
repetitive and easy and you can make it as long as you like
Anon
icord
Anon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfkFRa9tjns&ab_channel=StudioKnit
Moose
You can also just knit a skinny “scarf” in plain garter stitch (knit stitches only) which would unravel fine. For me, knitting in the round is faster, so for this I might just knit a tube of just knit stitches for unraveling.
I like the idea of I-cords for unraveling, but they take me a while to finish! Maybe in a bulky yarn I’d do better…
Anon
I didn’t interpret this as the brother would be unraveling the knitted item. Just pulling on it, like self-soothing. Running it through your hands etc. Actually, that sounds very soothing to me right now.
Anonymous
oh i thought it was definitely to unravel – otherwise why would the sister need to make them repeatedly? also tons of other easier fidgets to purchase now to pull on or run through your hands.
Anon
Did she say she knit them repeatedly? I don’t have the article so I don’t know.
K.
If I understand correctly, I think this could be any kind of knit stitch. I’m thinking she does the equivalent of a scarf that had not been bound off (a kind of finishing knot so to speak that prevents any unraveling). Then, if you pull the yarn, it will easily unravel.
editrix
You don’t even have to know how to knit if you have a knitting spool. Try a search at Etsy.
Anon
Yes, knitting spools knit icord, same as the video linked above. I’m sure this is what her reference meant when they talked about strands of knitted yarn.
Anonymous
who has tomorrow off? my husband does but i don’t
Anon
Corporate servant here. Not me.
Anon
Nope. I work for a state university and classes are in session and staff don’t have the day off. Somewhat surprisingly, our public K-12 schools aren’t off either.
Anon
I remember being in college and we’d have class on federal holidays but staff had off. I had a work study in an all-staff office, so I enjoyed getting a few bonus days off.
I never had Veterans Day off from K-12 school though.
Anon
I’m university staff and we definitely don’t get all federal holidays off. We don’t get Veteran’s Day, President’s Day, Juneteenth or Columbus/Indigenous People’s Day. I can’t complain too much though, since we have the Friday after Thanksgiving, a 10 day winter holiday shutdown and a lot of vacation leave.
Anonymous
It’s a firm holiday and a court holiday. Yet, while I successfully work from home 9 out of 10 days, today my partner specifically requested that I come in at 9:00 am tomorrow for a meeting that should be a phone call. Actually, it should be the phone call we already had this morning that ended with scheduling the morning meeting. Or the phone call we had two weeks ago in which I thoroughly laid out exactly how to brief the issue he wants to discuss briefing tomorrow- in person, on the one day there will be no one there to notarize the affidavit I have already told him he will need to sign, and that I offered to draft and file for him, before the other side responded raising the issue this week. Did I mention he limits his presence in meetings, no matter the subject, to <10 minutes?
I really really hate law firms. And lawyers.
Anon for this
State employee, we’re working but baby’s daycare (in a State run building which goes by the State schedule) and public elementary school are all closed.
Anon
I hate it when the office is open and the office-run daycare is closed! Seems like that should be against the rules.
PDX Atty
My office says its closed but is it really?
OOO
I have tomorrow off. State government employee (MI)
Anon
I have tomorrow off, which is why I scheduled my covid booster for this afternoon. The pharmacy called to say they have only brand X and I need brand Y. Do I want to take brand X? No. Do I want to wait ten days? No (thanksgiving is in 14 days). So I quickly made two other appointments with different pharmacies in town who claim, online and by phone, to have brand Y. Stay tuned.
Anon
Why do you need a particular brand?
Anon
That is the brand I have had for all six shots so far (today was seven – I am eligible for mid-year boosters). The other mRNA would likely be fine and I would take it if mine were not available, but I know that mine does not create any issues with either the other meds I take or my condition. It’s just an issue of eliminating as many possible complications as I can. Happily, I went, they had it, I’m back home now.
Anon
There’s some evidence that mixing Moderna and Pfizer offers better protection than either one alone. Something to consider.
Anon
I just received a government job offer so hopefully this will be my last federal holiday that I have to work in my greedy corporate job!!
I grew up in a government family, I worked the first 5 years of my career in government but made the mistake of going to the private sector 3 years ago. I eagerly await my government return!!!
Seriously though I have such strong feelings about having to work on federal holidays. It makes me seethe. Are these companies really too cheap to not give employees an extra day off??? FWIW my company doesn’t do a winter holiday closure or give Black Friday as a holiday or any other “extra holiday” that some private sector companies do. They’re just cheap.
Anony
My private sector company doesn’t give us tomorrow off but we do get “make up holidays” at Christmas time so we shut down from Dec 23 through Jan 2 (usually). It’s kind of nice to not have to use PTO for the holidays! We also get Black Friday off as a holiday.
Anon
If my company did this I’d be totally fine! But they don’t we just get 7 holidays instead of the standard 11 (not off for Presidents, Juneteenth, Indigenous Peoples, or Veterans).
Anon
The company I work for can one up yours on this, we also do not have tomorrow off but we are a DEFENSE contractor which loves to tout how much we support veterans and which highlights its veterans hiring program yada yada yada. I only happen to have the day off bc it’s my normal 9/80 off-Friday but it’s absolutely not an official company holiday. This one in particular makes me LIVID.
Anon
So my entire family works for the government or in schools. My dad has a government job and my mom is a teacher. My dad LOVES Veteran’s Day because it’s the one day a year that he gets off and my mom doesn’t. His job has restrictions about taking off during the holidays and the summer, which is of course when my mom is already off. My mom is also off for every other federal holiday (either they get the holiday off like MLK or the holiday is over a school break).
Sometimes my dad, uncle and I get lunch on Veterans Day to celebrate being off!
Anon 2.0
I do not but we are given a floating holiday for the time.
Anon
Sadly I’m working. And my company just ironically posted about how it’s ranked as one of the best companies for veterans.
Everyone on my team is a veteran, lots of people are rolling their eyes at this “great for veterans” designation since we don’t even get Veteran’s Day off.
Anon
I am the defense contractor employee above and SAME!
Anonymous
My company does not observe veterans day, but as a veteran, I do! My husband has the day off, and I took a day of (“unlimited”) PTO. My kids still have school. We’re having a day-date.
Runcible Spoon
Federal Government worker here, and I have tomorrow off. But I’ll probably work for a few hours, catching up on administrative tasks that I can never stay on top of.
Anon
Random recomendation – I’m wearing the BR Factory Coveted Sweater in Patriot Blue today and it is really nice. A bit boxy like EF, very soft, and machine washable. And a steal at $37.50 and an additional 15% off. I might need some more colors.
https://bananarepublicfactory.gapfactory.com/browse/product.do?pid=825674051&cid=1045210&pcid=1045210&vid=1&nav=meganav%3AWomen%3AWomen%27s+Clothing%3ASweaters&cpos=8&cexp=368&kcid=CategoryIDs%3D1045210&cvar=2360&ctype=Listing&cpid=res23110913147945875370849#pdp-page-content
Anonymous
Does it pill badly?
Anon
Can someone please remind me the author/title of the recent Atlantic article about the misperceptions about Israel and Hamas? It’s been posted here a bunch of time in the past couple weeks, and now I can’t find it. TIA.
anon
I believe it’s The Decolonization Narrative is Dangerous and False:
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/10/decolonization-narrative-dangerous-and-false/675799/
Anon
This one? https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/10/decolonization-narrative-dangerous-and-false/
Anon
Seriously?!? The astro turfing here is getting unreal.
Anon
That is not what is happening here, come on.
AIMS
+1. She’s not saying, “has anyone tried these great new shoes that look cool and promise to fit your bunions? They seem promising!” I actually recommended that article before. It’s great. Read it.
Anon
I hadn’t heard of Aritzia until a couple of months ago. I tend to shop the workwear workhorse classics like J. Crew, Banana Republic, Ann Taylor… is Aritzia on par with these brands? Where did it come from and why am I only hearing about it now!
anon
Isn’t it Canadian? I was definitely buying from them ten years ago. I remember sleeves were very long and everything was skinny. I haven’t bought recently to know if anything has changed.
Anony
They are based in Canada and have been around since the 80s I think. I love Aritzia – specifically their Wilfred, Wilfred Free, and TNA (amazing sweatshirts, pants, lougewear) house brands. I have loved everything that I have gotten from Aritzia but the sizing can be a little odd in some things, so make sure to read reviews. They also tend to do a lot of dry clean / dry clean only materials, if that’s a concern. You can find a lot of secondhand Aritzia brands on ThredUP and Poshmark also (I actually just bought a TNA polo-style sweatshirt this morning off Posh because it was 1/3 of the price). I’ve always had great results with their CS; the shipping is through FedEx international but has always arrived quick; and the quality is on par with the brands you mentioned, if not better.
Anon
So helpful thank you!
AIMS
I love them and find them to be a little nicer and maybe a little smaller. Strict 30 day return window but otherwise no complaints.
Anon
Good to know… thanks!
Runcible Spoon
I’ve bought a couple of excellent winter coats from Aritzia over the past several years. I love the Cocoon Coat, with the stylish stand-up collar, super warm! Very menswear-type tailoring, by which I mean good quality fabric, great lining with hidden pockets, and so forth, the sort of details men expect and women have learned to forgo. They have a US website.
Hypatia
I am not thrilled with the quality at Aritzia and think you have to see in store which pieces are actually well made, with even stitching, etc. But I’m a fan of the TNA line and they’re basically the only socks I want to buy now. Super soft leggings are great too