Holiday Weekend Open Thread

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1. Work has been dead this week. I’ve made up all the work I can handle, and it seems like everyone else in the world is off today, while I can’t spare the PTO. Help. Entertain me. Good articles? Cat videos? I’m desperate.

   1. tinykittens.com! Livestream of adorable kittens :) (I’d also go home early)

      1. No!! Why did you tell us about this?!? Now I’ve clicked on the link and they’re adorable and sleeping and I want to take them all home!! Gah!

      2. LOVE!!!

      3. those tiny kittens are all having a tiny nap right now. they are adorable and I am jealous.

      4. Oh my goodness, that is dangerous amounts of cute. So tiny and fluffy and adorable!!

   2. Big Brother live feeds! I am addicted.

   3. oldhousedreams.com find cool houses all over the country; cry a river when you see what your $$ can buy in low cost of living areas.

      1. This site has me contemplating just how far of a commute I could tolerate for a perfect old house. “Well this one’s only an hour from work…”

2. Yay! Holiday weekend Open Thread’s! I love Holiday Weekend Open Thread’s and the NORDSROM’s sale, which I am goieing to in person with Rosa on my way upstate with Myrna. I hope the HIVE, Kate and Kat all have a great LONG weekend and I hope to return midweek with some good storie’s about my time upstate with Myrna’s freind’s. Rosa says it is kind of dull up there but I think it will be a refreshing change from the manageing partner’s brother, who continue’s to make noises in his bedroom with different women as I try to relax at home. If the manageing partner is 1/2 as busy with Margie, she will need to walk around with a cold compress. FOOEY!

   1. Ellen, be wary of country boys that want to give you a holiday kielbasa sandwich. If you accept, please lock your knees together. Happy 4th!

   2. I had a similar college experience with the guys in Omega house. A little guy they called Mouse invited me to their Octoberfest back in 2004 and I wanted to bring a guy along but I couldn’t. The guys were real nice and gave me what they said was fruit punch. It turned out to be spiked with vodka and god knows what else. I passed out and somehow wound up in Mouse’s room upstairs. When I woke up, I found Mouse next to me with no clothes on. My clothes had disappeared but Mouse said nothing happened because he passed out also. Mouse gave me a robe and slippers to walk home in. Fortunately I did not have sex or get pregnant but my guess is that Mouse must have tried something because the frat boys all gave me the eye for the rest of the year as if I had let him have sex with me.

      1. You were lucky. I married a frat boy! He was also very giving. After we started dating, he wanted to “share” me with his frat brothers. I said nothing doing as I was not about to become the frat’s mascot. For some dumb reason, inexperience, lack of self esteem, loneliness etc, I married the jerk and we have 3 kids all under age 5. Leaving him is not an option, but I know he’s been with other women. If I could only turn back the hands of time. UGH!

   3. Kat- I am sick of this junk. It’s been here for the over three years I’ve read Corporette. When are you going to ban this “woman”.

3. If you had about a year and a half to do anything (in between leaving a full-time job and starting grad school), what would you do? Bonus points for something that is in the US that would add an interesting dimension to a grad school application for a “top” school (does not actually have to be related to future career).

   Ideas do not have to include jobs that pay but if there’s no pay involved, the position must be part-time.

   Side question- I’m definitely thinking of doing a few hours of nannying/babysitting a week. Any idea of what I can charge per hour? College-educated with a car and lots of experience. How would I go about finding clients? Is posting an online profile the only way (other than word of mouth)?

   1. What type of graduate degree program?

      1. Healthcare

         1. Figure out where you can be a volunteer to help people enroll in health insurance. Look up navigators in your area via healthcare.gov. At some point in your career, it will be helpful not only to understand the enrollment process, but health care literacy.

            1. This is a really good idea – I will look into it. Thanks!

            2. You’re welcome! Also, another idea depending on your location/chosen profession. Consider finding a relevant trade organization (think American Medical Association) and see if you can volunteer/intern. It can be fascinating/scary to learn all the different aspects of health care from the continuing ed credentials to the government to practice management.

            3. You could also volunteer for a specific disease related cause like American Diabetes Association or American Heart Association, CF Foundation, AIDS Foundation, etc.

               If you are looking to nannying because you like kids, you could volunteer in a school – a lot of elementary schools take community volunteers to read with kids, or to tutor.

         2. I like the insurance enrollment idea a lot. Also consider finding a rescue service that accepts and trains volunteers. I know you said “healthcare” and not necessarily “medicine” but some basic EMT training (or its equivalent in your area) could also expose you to some of the issues within the hc system. My husband volunteers as an EMT (“for fun!”) and he has been fascinated/appalled by the HC system throughout.

   2. Where are you located? Hourly rate will depend greatly on area.

      1. East coast, large city

         1. I can’t say, but here in the Bay Area (which seems like it would be comparable) I’d say $20/hour, give or take.

   3. 15/h for the nannying at least. Don’t let cheap parents low ball you. Best of luck!

   4. This idea isn’t in the US, so I’ll give up on the bonus points.

      I’d spend some of that time in a language immersion school. There are French ones in Canada and Spanish ones in Mexico and places farther south. Most run half days and leave the 2nd half of the day for you to volunteer or tour. 4-6 weeks of language immersion should be long enough to have a significant impact on your language ability.

      1. +1 But I’d alter it and say go for a medical mission somewhere in Latin/south america for the language skills.

      2. Another idea: if leaving the U.S. is not an option, then consider the Alliance Francaise if there is one in your area for language skills. You can also look into conversation groups or classes. If you already have a good foundation in the language, meetup.com also has conversation groups listed, since they are not structured like a school I don’t know how much success one would have with them, but worth a try.

      3. Great ideas, everyone. Thank you! Keep them coming :)

         1. I am paying a 15 year old $10/hour for a 5 year old and 1 year old to essentially keep the kids alive this week while my stay at home husband paints the outside of our house. My college babysitters get $13/hour but I expect them to cook for kids, pick up toys and “teach” them. Try to “upsale” the parents – do you speak another language, can you play soccer, play an instrument, did you major in art – we all like our special snowflakes to have something “extra” these days. I have gotten all my sitters from community facebook groups, referrals and craigslist. My first nanny used care.com and got a lot of night nannying jobs between graduating college and starting her first job. You might check into that as well. And I am in a large Southern city.

            1. This is probably way too late, but here in the Bay Area, we happily pay $25/hour for our family helper, who picks kids up from school and gets them home, fed, and into bed. If you are reliable and can drive kids around, you will be able to name your price, I think.

   5. To your side question, both care.com and sitter city are popular options. The best is if you can have a previous client refer you on the local parents group (many are moving to Facebook, others reside on yahoo groups but it’s very neighborhood specific).

      1. I second sitter city. A few years ago, I used sitter city to find about 15 hours of regular babysitting per week. I found great families and it was a lot of fun. This site allows you to have a profile which allows you to be both searchable and to search families looking for a sitter. You can also browse other sitters’ profiles to get a better sense of what you should be charging.

   6. This would be a good time to do couch-to-5k, train for a marathon, start masters level swimming, learn to fence, walk all or part of the Appalachian Trail (or the Pacific Coast Trail, or one of the others — see http://nationaltrailsguide.com/visit-a-trail/), go rock climbing, do a long-distance bike ride, etc.

      Is there someplace you’ve always wanted to go? It could be a great time to visit National Parks or to try to visit every state.

      Volunteer opportunities include working the USO centers in airports, boxing food at food banks, rocking babies in hospital NICUs, volunteering at Boys & Girls Clubs, coordinating activities at a nursing home, and being a test monitor at schools. Some are regular, continuing opportunities. Others occur only a few times a year.

      If there’s some skill you have that you’d like to strengthen, you could work on that. For example, joining Toastmasters and working on your public speaking skills would surely be a positive if that’s an area where you could use more practice.

      Is there a certification that you would like (Microsoft Office Specialist, Yoga, Zumba, or something health related)? Do you feel comfortable with the software tools you use? You could take this opportunity to take a class or two and/or do test prep.

      You could also devote more time to hobbies — bake your way all the way through a cookbook, learn to butcher, decorate your house, craft and sell at shows or give only handmade gifts at Christmas, write up patterns for sale online, read everything on your to-be-read list, make a dent in your Unfinished Objects pile, learn to knit, start a photo a day project, blog, do genealogy, do 100 straight days of yoga, etc.

4. Thinking of your wedding this weekend. Hope it’s wonderful!

5. I love Liberty prints. Often I just type ‘Liberty’ into the asos search bar and see what I find. I got a super cute summer tote/ shopper type bag a couple of months ago for £10 which has a gorgeous Liberty lawn as the outer.

6. I need some work advice. We’re a small firm. I’m a 3rd year lawyer but because we’re so small, I often end up doing quite advanced work. We hired a first year associate who started in September (so she’s almost been here a year) and her work doesn’t seem up to par. My boss wants me to mentor her and help her develop. But it’s so frustrating. The work is not getting any better. Instead of her looking for answers on her own, she asks me the most basic questions. I then have to review things before my boss will look at them and sometimes the law is wrong or it’s just totally off-base. When I’m on a time crunch, it’s usually just faster and more efficient to do the work myself but then she’s not that busy and my boss gets upset that I’m not delegating.

   Any suggestions?

   Thanks ladies

   1. It sounds like you need to have a big-picture discussion with her, outside the context of any particular project, and at a time when you’re not slammed, about the patterns you’re seeing in her work. That would give you an opportunity to say things like, “To be successful, you’ll need to get in the habit of searching for answers on your own before coming to someone for help.” Then the next time she comes to you with an easy question, send her back to look up the answer herself. Yes, this will be more work in the short-term, but if she gets it will pay off as she learns skills, and if she doesn’t get it that’s a stronger case to make to your boss for letting her go. And really I think this is what mentoring is: not just reviewing and marking up someone’s work, but talking to them about what kinds of behaviors and attitudes will help her succeed.

      If you have the energy, you can also make these kinds of big-picture comments in the moment, but I realize when you’re in the thick of things it’s difficult to focus on mentoring. At any rate, I don’t think steaming in silence, and then doing the work yourself, is going to help her improve.

      1. I’m in academia so my response reflects my experiences teaching/mentoring. I second what Hildegarde says, have a conversation with her about stepping things up. Pick a time when you are not under pressure. I assume this person is motivated enough to work at improving.

   2. In what area do you practice? Maybe sending industry-specific resources (rather than “just use Lexis to find the answer”) that she can review on her own time would help cut down on the basic questions?

   3. I try to give junior lawyers the benefit of the doubt on what I see as easy questions. I’d rather someone come and ask me a question early in the process before they spend lots of time and efforts barreling down the wrong path. Some concepts also lend themselves to be learned in a question and answer style rather than just reading something in a book. Obviously, this varies greatly by practice area. What is the filing deadline for a motion to reconsider is probably an easy answer to find in the court rules book. What is the difference between a corporation and an LLC and which one should the client pick for their business is lends itself to more of a discussion and not hours of unguided research. Part of your job as midlevel is to provide the buffer between the junior lawyer and the partner. So that means that it is up to you to see the first drafts. For those, I think having her incorporate your revisions, even if it is just a matter of accept the redline changes, provides the best learning opportunity. Even better if you can find 10 minutes to run through the big points of the revisions before handing them back.

      1. This. I have have been told to look things up, but my questions often were not the type of thing that I could find in a book. An associate can spend hours researching something when a more experienced attorney can just spend 10 minutes explaining something. Part of working in a firm as a new attorney should be some sort of mentorship. This is exactly what I think is wrong with the profession. There is very little, if any, mentorship these days because attorneys are just “too busy.” I’ve had bosses give me such little guidance that I just made mistakes that could have easily been avoided and saved me from unnecessary worry. It is a learning lesson but why do 5 people have to make the same mistake? Just give her some tips along the way.

   4. Good advice from everybody about how to deal with the associate. But I’d add a couple things. One would be to keep notes of what questions she’s asking. It might be helpful to get together some kind of package for future associates, so you don’t have to re-invent the wheel every time a new one shows up. But also, in addition I’d keep a log, including the instances where her law is just plain wrong, so that you might be able to document to your boss why things aren’t working and you aren’t delegating enough etc. There are beginner questions, and then there are hopeless questions. A log would allow you, and perhaps others, to make the distinction.

      1. If you’re having consistent problems I think this is great advice – especially if you are assigned to mentor that associate.

   5. I’m a junior lawyer (a year ahead you) but I worked in a very selective practice. I was hired by a large firm for my knowledge of that one area but 2/3 of my work is in other areas which I need help with. If you have no interest in helping her make that clear to your boss and maybe he can do something. If you have an interest I helping but feel she is just dumb or by paying attention or just too ignorant maybe just sit down with her for lunch and talk to her. She’s probably overwhelmed and terrified and helping her access some refresher materials or a refresher course or just making her feel like less of a loser would be a nice thing to do. I ask first year associates and assistants stupid questions every day but I am never a jerk when anyone asks me about my “specialty area”. I’m doing my best but it is hard to get into the swing of things, especially when you know you just aren’t catching on very quickly.

7. I’d like to reach out to a former upper manager (not my direct supervisor) and invite them for coffee to catch up. I’d like to ask this person to mentor me through a formal work program at my company. Any advice on how to phrase the email? Thanks so much!

8. I think it was you who asked about the Target line Jockey slipshorts? On the 4th wear, the legs started creeping up a bit, so they definitely don’t wear as well as the more expensive Skimmies. It doesn’t bother me up and I find them still wearable, but be prepared to give them a tug every couple hours, more if you’re doing a lot of walking. I know some people wear them with pants, so I wouldn’t recommend them for that. But skirts I’m totally fine with occasional tugs for half the price of the Skimmies.

   1. Thanks for the update! I bought a pair last time I was at Target too, but I haven’t worn them enough to see if they start to wear out at all. I have the opposite problem with the regular Skimmies – they slide down throughout the day, probably because I sized up when I was between sizes.

9. are they in/out of style right now as work tops?

   1. I don’t know if they’re necessary in style but they are always appropriate! To keep from looking dated look for the newer styles with the narrower collars.
      I like the look with a pencil skirt, but I have a hard time finding ones that are a good fit on my hourglass shape. (So far the best ones I’ve found were at New York & Co, they have bust darts and are more fitted at the bottom. Anyone know of other brands with a similar fit?)

      1. Never worn NY&C but Express does good hourglass button-downs. Before purchasing, check on the cuff and collar lining–I accidentally got a terrible leopard print once.

   2. Things that are never either in or out of style:
      – button front cotton shirts in white or oxford blue
      – knee-length pencil skirts
      – navy and charcoal as neutral suit colors
      – knee-length black sheath dresses
      – mid-hip length crew neck cardigans, especially in merino wool or cashmere
      – tan knee-length trench coats
      – Chanel-style tweed jackets
      – navy blazers
      No one will rave about your outfit being “on trend” if you wear these things, but none of these have ever gone out of style for at least several decades.

10. Makeup brush set for eyes. I finally have eyeshadow i love but scratchy brushes. Can some recommend a set they have purchased that isnt ELF, SIGMA or real techniques? Thank you!!

    1. Chikuhodo Takumi series or Hakuhodo brushes. Expensive but absolutely amazing.

    2. I like my MAC brushes.

    3. Sonia Kashuk at Target.

    4. I love my mac brushes but if you can shop online, you can try Zoeva

    5. Estee Lauder make lovely ones.

    6. I like my Bobbi Brown brushes. Expensive but last a long time and stay beautiful as long as you give them a good cleansing every once in awhile.

    7. Eco Tools

    8. IT Cosmetics for Ulta. Lovely brushes, super soft.

11. I know this is random and maybe TMI, but I’ve wanted to tell someone about this but haven’t wanted to tell anyone I actually know…

    I recently got some boudoir photography done as a surprise for my hubby. I know he will really like it, but I figured going into it that I was going to feel a little silly about the whole thing and probably not love the outcome, since I don’t typically like photographs of me.

    However, I just got the CD of photos and I actually LOVE them!! There are definitely some where I look pretty silly and/or unflattering… but there are many, many more than I expected that are incredibly flattering and I’m just so happy with! I am extra excited to give them to hubby – the photographer I worked with is going to get the ones I like best printed in a nice book. It has given me such a boost this week; I had started feeling pretty “blah” about putting effort into makeup / hair / etc but seeing these fun pictures has helped me stop moping about an extra 10 lbs or the crows feet around my eyes. Yay :)

    1. Thank you for sharing! I have been wanted to do this for so long.

       1. Awesome! That was brave. You should feel great about it.

12. Anyone have any advice around dealing with imposter syndrome? I have just accepted a new job, which is a big step up for my career. Intellectually, I know I have the skills and experience to do this job well. But I keep having thoughts like “They are going to find out that I have no idea what I’m doing”. Any advice on how to counter this anxiety?

    1. Amy Pohler gives great advice here: “Say yes and figure it out later”.

       You will learn and become awesome at the job. And in the meantime, take the time to learn the job properly. Congratulations!

13. Books. Please suggest books. Just read The Thinking Woman’s Guide to Magic and the Underwriting. Tried the Tearling but couldn’t get into it.

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