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Workwear sales of note for 5.26.23:
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale just started! See our thoughts here.
- Amazon – Memorial Day Sales! Lots of discounts on Amazon Essentials and more.
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off lots of sale styles (prices as marked).
- Anthropologie – Extra 40% off sale.
- Banana Republic Factory – 50%-70% off everything + extra 25% off purchase (ends 5/31).
- Boden – Sale, up to 50% off.
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off sale; already up to 70% off (ends 5/31) – also mix & match sale with men’s shirts, 4 for $249.
- Cole Haan – Up to 50% off sale styles (ends 5/31).
- Eloquii – 400+ styles starting at $19; up to 50% off everything.
- Express – Summer kickoff sale, 30-50% off everything (plus $35+ steals) (ends 6/1).
- H&M – Up to 60% off online and in-store.
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off “dressed up” styles (lots of cute dresses!).
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off everything, no exclusions.
- J.McLaughlin – The Sale Event, extra 30% off.
- Loft – 40% off full-price styles
- M.M.LaFleur – Short but sweet sale (ends 6/1).
- Madewell – Get 30% off your purchase.
- Ministry of Supply – 25% off sitewide (ends 6/1).
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty.
- Shopbop – Up to 50% off designer sale!
- Sue Sartor – Lots of cute dresses on sale!
- Talbots – Extra 40% off all markdowns (ends 6/1)!
- Theory – Up to 60% off + an extra 20% off.
- Universal Standard – 25% off sitewide (ends 6/1).
Other noteworthy sales:
- CB2.com – Up to 50% off everything!
- Joss & Main – Up to 60% off, plus an extra 20% off with code.
- Tuft & Needle – Save up to $775 on mattresses. (Reader favorite bed brand; Kat really likes hers!)
- West Elm – Memorialy Day Sale, up to 60% off.
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
- Favorite comfy pants for an overnight plane ride?
- I’ve got a nasty case of tech neck…
- What’s a good place for a relaxing solo escape?
- What’s the best commuter backpack?
- I’m early 40s and worry my career arc is ending…
- I canNOT figure out the proportions in this current season of fashion…
- How is everyone wearing scarves in 2023?
- What shoes are people wearing to work between boot and sandal season?
- What’s a good place for a relaxing solo escape?
- What are some of your go-to outfits that feel current?
- I need more activities that are social, easy to learn and don’t involve extreme running/jumping/etc.
I like this dress, but the neckline wouldn’t work for my office.
Side note: Thanks to everyone who gave me advice on clothing rental/subscription services the other week. Gwynnie Bee had a special offer so I decided to take a chance and try it, and I love it so far. As long as I take measurements, I’m able to figure out the different brands’ sizing, and the dresses in particular have been really nice for my workplace.
Can we talk evening showers today? I’m swimming every night now that it’s nice out, and I want to start showering at 9pm when I’m done and not showering again at 6am because that seems silly. But I feel so grubby! Body and hair. I’m #blessed with hair that looks perfect when I sleep on it wet, but by 4 pm it feels gross and I don’t like leaving it down. Is there a product for this? Maybe one that would help with the chlorine too?
Low-tech chlorine blocking: wet your hair with tap water prior to swimming and/or use a swim cap. There are some shampoos made for swimmers (ultraswim, certain sports shampoos for kids) to remove chlorine buildup. I also take evening showers post swim/beach and just use some conditioner on my hair assuming I don’t have plans later on where my hair needs be styled.
I swim several times a week. I drench my hair with conditioner first then cover it with a cap. I like the thick latex kind. That keeps my hair from getting ruined (well it makes it less ruined) by the chlorine. I don’t have any suggestions for the afternoon hair problem — I always work out in am.
Yay! I love this dress, Kat, but the neckline is to plungeing for me and I think Frank would be stareing in all the time. FOOEY on Frank.
As for the OP, just swim in the morning and then you will have NO probelem b/c you will THEN shower and do your hair. When I was at GW I was a swimmer and did EXACTELY that. I came to the pool early, swam, then showered and did my hair b/f goeing to class. I continued this in Law School, and got alot of guy’s to go swimming in the morning also. I wore a 1 piece suit so that the guy’s would NOT stare at my boobies and tuchus but now must wear bikini’s to get the guy’s to stare. Times have sure changed, b/c I now want to get MARRIED.
This weekend I went to the Hamton’s and was told by 3 guy’s that I was cute. I asked if that meant cute enough to MARRY and they kind of backed off. I do NOT know what the formula is, b/c alot of girls much less cute then me ARE already married. I realy do NOT know what they have (or did) that I have NOT but I would LOVE for the hive to tell me what the secret is to snareing a guy! HELP!!!!
Do you get sweaty in your sleep? What about a quick full body wipe down with a damp facecloth in the morning, then dry and get dressed?
You could wear a swimming cap if chlorine ruins your hair. They really do keep your hair dry. You could use dry shampoo, but that builds up eventually.
Where are these magical caps that keep water out? Is it only for certain head shapes?
Just regular old swim caps. I have one for long hair that I bought on Amazon, since I have a lot of hair – if I pile my hair on top of my head and put it on, it stays dry. You can buy regular ones anywhere, though.
Ha, no kidding. I swam regularly for triathlon training and my hair was soaked through the cap every time.
Also, does this line of discussion mean there are people who swim in public pools without swim caps? That’s disgusting.
Yes. Lots of people. I swim in a pool in my apartment building. No one wears a swimming cap, from adults doing laps to little ones splashing about.
How is it disgusting? To that end, since your hair is getting soaked with pool water anyway, what’s the cap doing?
Ha, the pools I frequent are full of kids. Swim caps are the least of my concerns.
For people who swim for exercise, the cap reduces the drag long hair causes.
LilyS, the cap keeps you from shedding tons of long hair into the pool that clogs drains and floats into other swimmers’ mouths.
I swim for exercise and have long hair. I tie it up so it doesn’t drag or end up in the water…
I swear by swim caps. I wear shower caps too in the morning after my workout so I can get clean without wrecking my blowout.
I love up-dos for this – either sleeping with my hair in a braid so that it’s curly when I wake up, or putting it into a braid or twist or something in the morning. Once it’s up and tidy I don’t have to think about it all day.
For grubbiness, spritz your face and neck in the morning with a light toner (I use a tea tree water spray from LUSH), make sure you keep your sheets fresh (change 2x week), wear PJ fewer times before washing, and sleep cooler (AC, fans, fewer blankets than you’re used to).
Dry shampoo for the 4 pm grubby hair feeling?
Dry shampoo is the best.
I’d shower day and night. It takes 10 min?
Oh it’s not the time that’s an issue- showering that much tends to aggravate my skin.
As someone that has spent hundreds of hours a year in pools for decades, I can tell you it’s not 2 showers that’s the issue, it’s chlorine that’s the issue! Cosign the above advice to wet your hair before you put on a cap. Conditioner before is too much for me (and makes the cap slippery), but you might want to do it on your ends. You can keep the water out best if you put the cap behind your ears (not over the top of your lobes). You’ll look dorky, but it should seal up fine. Don’t be afraid to ask a lifeguard how to best put on a cap (when he or she is on a break). They won’t mind showing you how. Some people never get the hang of it alone, but you need to do the forehead part first and then stretch it over your hair, tucking the hair in. If you bun your hair first, it works less well than if you just stuff the hair in. Hope this helps.
Yours in aquatic pursuits,
There is shampoo designed specifically for washing your hair after swimming that should be better for the chlorine than regular shampoo. I will admit the last time I used such shampoo was 2002 and so the science might be different now.
How would you open when telling your boss that you’re leaving? Context is that she has no idea this was on the horizon and I’ve been here for less time than she might have hoped, but otherwise positive relationship. Nonprofit, and I’d like to keep ties for network purposes. I have a flair for the dramatic that I’m trying to tamp down (I.e. My idea is to say, “this is hard for me and I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to say it… ” which is obviously way over the top. Plainer, more normal ideas?
Tell her how you want her to respond:
“I know you’ll be happy for me, because I’ve taken an opportunity at xxxx [or, ‘have another opportunity’ if you don’t want to be explicit] so I have set my last day here at this date. I’m sorry to go but excited about my next opportunity…”
Pause. Let her process & respond. Then, it’ll be over. You’ll have done it!
Tell her how you want her to respond is brilliant.
Yes, really, this is great for so many different situations, work-related and personal.
Have got to remember this!
la vie en bleu
seriously, stealing this!
I went with, “this is hard to say, [awk pause], I’m leaving the firm. I’m very grateful for my time here but I’m taking a new opportunity.” Pause for response.
This is exactly how it went down for me recently when I got an amazing opportunity a few weeks ago and had to quit my current job Im not fond of. My boss was amazingly supportive and we had a nice chat about my future but you really never know how people will react so I was prepared for anything. Futhermore, keep it short and sweet like this. No need to say where youre going or why or even justify anything.
When I left my last firm, I said: “I have some news that I’m very excited about. I’ve been offered and have accepted a position as ___ at ____. I’ve really appreciated all the opportunities I’ve had here and will miss the people, but I feel that this is a great opportunity for me that I couldn’t pass up.”
This. Emphasize that a great opportunity has come up, and you need to take it. Most bosses get a sinking gut when any of their reports asks “can we talk?’, so no need to add to that with a dramatic intro.
Also, choose your timing. I’ve only been less-than happy for one report who waited until immediately after our four hour annual planning meeting to tell me that he is leaving.
That seriously left a sour taste in my mouth because we had just spent a ton of time and resources planning for the next year, in which we assigned him as the lead for several projects.
I understand that the timing of when you leave can’t be helped largely, but even telling me in the morning immediately before the meeting would have greatly helped him exit more gracefully.
I’ve adopted a kitten! It’s two months old and very rambunctious. I haven’t taken him to the vet yet but will very shortly. I’m trying to get an idea of how much vaccines and checkups will cost. Should I get pet insurance? How much is that? I’m in NYC/LI if that helps flavor your response. How much do vet visits typically cost?
I’m a pet owner/ child of a vet/ child of a cat breeder so I think I know my stuff. Pet insurance is really only for puppies and pure bred dogs with hereditary problems like Dalmatians. I have one pure bred cat and one mutt. Mutts typically have better health, no cats really have huge hereditary problems my particular breed of cat is prone to tooth decay but I brush his teeth once a week and they are still perfect at 8 years…. Doing that mental math made me so sad I didn’t realize my fluff was so old. Back on topic, vet visits are about 100/year/cat. That’s all the usual stuff plus my vet will do nice things like shave any stubborn mats or trim nails free of charge. I’d recommend buying good quality food, reading ingredients and tracking your cat’s weight, you might find you have a picky eater so knowing which foods are good makes it easy to rotate. Also scent free clumping clay litter is a must. First check up ever is usually a little more, something like 150-200. Don’t declaw. If its outdoor splurge on a microchip. Spay or neuter please.
Interesting. I was told that clumping clay is not great for cats and so we use Feline Pine.
We use World’s Greatest Litter instead of clay. Also, to be more specific, you should seek out wet canned cat food that has no grain and limited ingredients if you can. Poor quality foods are apparently leading to huge upticks in inflammatory bowel disease in cats, which is a good thing to try to avoid.
la vie en bleu
Swheat Scoop is my favorite thing in the entire world. It seems a little more pricey, but it lasts WAY longer than any other litter I’ve tried, so the cost is completely worth it. It’s made from wheat (byproducts) so it clumps even better because the gluten activates. And it has a subtle smell like bread when it’s wet, every kitten I’ve fostered loves it, and it’s even biodegradable. I’m still not allowed to flush it down the toilet in CA, but in some states you can, and it’s even easier! No bags to take to the garbage!
And enjoy your new furry friend!! I love living with furry creatures they are the best.
My super affordable and awesome vet charges about $150-200 a visit and $150-200 for teeth cleaning (may have gone up) if your cat ends up needing it. Dr. Cotter, on 65th/2nd Ave.
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul
Yay for giving pets forever homes! Congrats on your new kitty! Do you have a picture? I have a cat and don’t have pet insurance. I never really figured it was needed for him.
We got cat insurance once our cat started going outside (he plays in the garden in the morning and evening). It is good in case of emergencies (encounter with another cat or a dog) but surprisingly covered most of his cleaning and tooth extraction as well.
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul
Oh yes if Punkin went outside at all we’d definitely look into insurance in case of other animals/ cars. But we live on the 9th floor of an apartment building downtown so he’s a house cat. How fun your cat gets to go play in the garden!! Punkin would love that.
We took him out on a lead at first which was pretty ridiculous but he’s good at coming when called and avoiding cars / people. I’m home sick today and he’s sunbathing on the bench.
Congrats on your new friend! I would consider pet insurance, given that he’s a kitten and won’t have too many pre-existing conditions that would be excluded and also happens to be a male. I adopted an older male cat and have gone through several rounds of urinary issues and now diabetes (both of which are somewhat common in male cats). I don’t think pet insurance is always the easiest to deal with, but would certainly help for potential big ticket or long term problems. Other things — we use corn-based litter rather than clay and love it (World’s Best); think about having him microchipped if there is any chance he could escape your house and get lost; if you’re planning to travel with him (car, subway, etc.), start now while he’s a kitten so he’ll get used to it; and (PSA FOR ALL NEW YORKERS AND OTHER HIGH RISE DWELLERS) make sure to check your windows and screens every year to make sure they are secure!
My advice is to either get pet insurance within the next few years (when your feline is young) or make the conscious effort to put money away every month for your cat’s unexpected expenses. Pet insurance increases dramatically as the pet ages, but not as much if you’ve been insured all along.
A healthy cat will cost you about $100 a year in checkups, and pet insurance will not cover most of it. A sick cat can cost several thousand dollars (surgery to remove the string they ate, removing a cancerous node, radioiodine for a thyroid issue, etc.).
If I were to adopt a kitten, I would probably get high-deductible insurance to cover the super-expensive stuff (e.g. string-eating that requires abdominal surgery), then put about $200 a year aside for expenses beyond the annual check-ups. For the low-level stuff, it is better to “self-insure” by saving than to buy comprehensive insurance.
I have insurance for my dog but the thought was that it would cover an unexpected serious illness or injury (it also will pay a reward if he were lost/stolen). The deductible is $200 and it does not pay for regular wellness expenses like vaccines, checkups, heartworm meds, etc. There are plans that allow you to add that kind of coverage, but you basically end up paying the same if not more, just for the “benefit” of paying it in level monthly premiums instead of at 6 month intervals. Pet insurance is one area of insurance that has retained the true concept of “insurance”–paying for unexpected, rare occurrences rather than routine, expected costs for which a person can budget.
I wouldn’t recommend pet insurance for a cat, I would put away money in a savings account. I have always kept about $3K in a bank for unexpected animal expenses, and cats are typically healthy with the exception of deep vein thrombosis that can occasionally occur.
Overall, vet bills tend to be between $50-200 depending upon the type of visit. After the first year with my cat, we rarely had to go to the vet.
My mutt from the shelter racked up $12,000 in vet bills before her third birthday. So, I agree that pet insurance isn’t as necessary for indoor cats, but I sure wish I had gotten it for my mixed-breed mutt. It’s not just for dalmatians.
I agree with everyone else – you probably don’t need it for your cat, it doesn’t really cover that much and I wouldn’t get it. My vet charges either $100 or $150 per visit, and the first visit is free. Vaccines are around $50 each. NYC or LI, there’s probably one near you: http://local.vcahospitals.com/main/free-pet-exam/form/market/new_york/g35622/?medium=tsa&gclid=CKe00Lne38UCFQYTHwode7oA-g&gclsrc=aw.ds
We see Dr. Loomis on East 80th. She’s great.
Some quick other thoughts: what you feed your cat is really important. I’d say more so than getting vaccines or yearly check ups for indoor cats who (unless you have other pets) won’t be exposed to all that stuff anyway. Dry food is really not good for cats, especially male cats once they’ve been neutered. It’s more convenient for you, yes, but please feed your cat nice quality wet food. Also, kittens are so good at getting into trouble. Try to make sure you’re not leaving cords around for them to chew, don’t leave dental floss lying around, etc., etc.
can you recommend a good-quality wet food that won’t completely break the bank? I have two 7-year old cats (one male, one female) and I have always fed them Iams dry food (they eat as much as they want, neither is obese). My concern with wet food is that they seem to have sensitive stomachs and throw up at least a few times a week (my carpet loves this), and the few times I’ve given them wet food they seem to throw up more.
I think some of it is trial and error. Also, if they’ve been eating Iams for this long and seem to like it, it may be a harder transition to make. My last kitty lived to be close to 20 on mostly fancy feast and friskies. Only towards the end, I started to give her more high quality, higher protein brands. Blue Buffalo has a canned food that is specially formulated for sensitive stomachs and is grain free, which is optimal for cats. Hill’s is another good brand that has grain free options. As far as price, comparison shop. Sometimes places like petco have the best prices, sometimes independent pet shops, sometimes amazon. Also, to make the transition, try mixing the dry with wet so it’s easier on the cats. And maybe this is just my experience – but I find pate causes a lot less issues than “shredded” or “morsel” type wet food.
la vie en bleu
I don’t know if this will help, but I foster cats and when I have had cats with digestive or stomach issues they have always recommended I give them a little bit of canned pumpkin each day, just like a tablespoon or so. It’s very good for their digestion because it has a lot of fiber. Just make sure you get cans that are just plain pumpkin, not spiced for pumpkin pie filling. It might not help, but it really can’t hurt, it’s really good for them, and it’s cheap. So you could at least give that a try!
My kitty has a sensitive stomach as well. She eats IAMS weight-control/hairball formula dry because it’s apparently better for the tummy (although she doesn’t need the weight control). I had her on W/D prescription diet, but she wouldn’t eat just that, so I fed her the Science Diet pate style in beef and ocean fish. She didn’t throw up on those. Now she’s on kidney diet and she eats all of that wet food without a problem. She still throws up occasionally, but it’s usually for another reason.
Mine love the Sheba pate seafood flavors. I mix in extra water to make a “gravy” to help them get enough liquids. It is grain free. I actually bought this brand based on a post I saw on Ask a Manager. You could try buying some individual cans to see if they like it.
Just to chime in as well, I would strongly recommend pet insurance to everyone who has a pet. We chose Petplan, and, while it can be a hassle to deal with just like human health insurance, it’s worth it. Even indoor cats can have all sorts of expensive and unexpected problems, like diabetes, urinary obstruction, cancer, flea allergies, kidney disease, dental disease, anal gland abscesses (ask me how I know…), ear mites, fractures, bites from other animals… I’m so glad we have pet insurance to help us with the costs of, for example, abdominal surgery for one of our cats who decided it would be a good idea to eat shoelaces and ribbon. (We still don’t know how he got them.) You can chose your coinsurance %, deductible, etc., and IIRC you can get discounts for having microchipped pets, spayed/neutered pets, etc. I advise people to sign up as soon as possible after they get your pet, because pre-existing conditions may not be covered.
Lots of good advice already, but I want to put in a plug for Yesterday’s News cat litter. No dust, easy to scoop, and the bag is recyclable!
I also feel strongly about keeping cats indoors, spaying and neutering, and NOT declawing. :)
I would advise putting the $$ for pet insurance away in a savings account. We have 6 pets (4 cats, 2 dogs) and have paid for a leg amputation, removal of one toe, tummy tuck to remove an abscess, clean out of abscesses on back, 2 tail amputations on the same dog (she kept eating it… go figure), and I’m probably forgetting something. The insurance can be difficult, they don’t cover certain things, and a lot of them you pay up front then have to fight to get reimbursed. For food, we feed wet and dry. Dry food we do grain free high quality (check ingredients- a lot of the so called fancy brands are junk). Ours love Orijen and Wellness Core. We also have a little stainless steel water fountain I bought on amazon that encourages them to drink more. The largest issue with dry food is that cats aren’t programmed to drink a lot of water, they normally would get a lot from their kills in the wild. The fountain enourages them to drink more, ours love it! Staying hydrated helps prevent urinary tract infections and kidney issues and the high quality food helps prevent other issues.
Found out I passed the February bar exam (yay) and decided to treat myself to a new suit for my swearing in. Problem is, I can’t find much I like, and what I think is cute would be sweltering for the south in June. Anyone seen any cute suits recently, up to about $400? I’m a cusp 12/14 at Ann Taylor and Banana, and would prefer a skirt suit in a natural-ish fabric.
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul
No help on the outfit front but congratulations!!
JNY has a dress (Mallory) and matching jacket in black and white seersucker that could work. Their items tend to be released and re-released and I can’t determine their pattern, so I don’t know if it’s currently available. You are smart to be looking in advance.
BTW, this is why the “I have an event tonight/tomorrow and I need to go to the mall at lunch” posts baffle me. It could take hours to methodically review the options, who knows if an appropriate one is available in your size, there is no time for alterations or pre-first-wear cleaning. I would so rather spare myself the couple hours of fruitless dread and make the best of what I have (including time to prepare for conversation with the people I will meet at the event). I believe that I am in the minority on this, though.
anon a mouse
Do people here regularly clean clothes before the first wear? I usually don’t, but recently read an article about bacteria and such that is making me re-think.
Does the answer change if the item is dry clean only? Or if it’s an online purchase and likely wasn’t tried on by other people?
New clothes often have a lot of extra dye and are also sprayed with chemicals against bugs.
You clean all your clothes before wearing them? Good heavens why? You realize no one gets sick from new clothes right? Like, there is no leprosy outbreak.
People buy clothes last minute because they make last minute plans or last minute realize they don’t have anything to wear. They don’t methodically review all the options. They pick something suitable and available and go for it.
I guess you missed the articles in numerous outlets about the importance of washing new clothes before wearing them (link to one below).
Nope. But all that article tells me is that people who have issues with contact dermatitis should wash things, and one dermatologist has some personal anecdotes he’d like to share about a parade of horribles that might be possible. I’m sticking with this is totes not a thing.
You stated “no one gets sick from new clothes.” I guess allergic symptoms and rashes don’t count as “sick” to you? Or you just can’t resist the hyperbole?
Or, I understand the English language as commonly used.
It seems fairly simple to me. If you have sensitive skin or get skeeved out easily, wash or clean. If you’ve never had a problem with wearing clothes from the store unwashed, continue doing what you’re doing. I don’t need an article to tell me what is basically common sense.
Tesyaa, I wasn’t posting the article to tell anyone to do anything (although yes, the dermatologist in the article seems to be doing so) but more to counteract other Anon’s hyperbolic judgment that anyone who washes their clothes first must be a germophobic loon because there just CAN’T POSSIBLY EXIST a legitimate reason for some people to do so.
I 100% agree on cleaning clothes before wearing them. I have no idea if the person who tried it on before I purchased it has scabies or something, ugh, grossssss.
If I’ve bought online though, I usually just wear it.
BR’s lightweight wool suits are nice. I have them in navy and gray. They’re my go-to for looking nice and put together while also being relaxed and comfortable (the wool has some stretch). I keep checking to see if they’ve made it in any more colors (I’d snap up a tan or charcoal in an instant) but they tend to always have black and navy available.
Talbots had a lot of cotton viscose suiting on sale over the weekend. They have a huge size range. There were the usual navy, black, etc, but also a few pretty pink and blue colors.
I’d check nordstroms and consider a halogen or classics or super sale hugo boss (my dream suit). also, maybe brooks brothers.
Not Mildred Pierce
I recall a convo here re brows where a person was shocked, shocked that people didn’t spend more on products for them. Hee, hee I thought. I don’t want to look like Mildred Pierce.
BUT, time marches on and makes fools of us all. My brows have grown old-man wild. So I trim a bit. Then they look sparse (why, why, has the right one retreated so much, and in a weird shape, from its original boundary)? And sad and tired.
I impulse brought the whole dip brow set from Sephora on a whim (and even got the shade right) and it has been the equivalent to a facelift. A GOOD facelift.
That is all.
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul
Good brows frame your whole face and make a world of difference. Yay for being a brow convert! :)
I went to a brow salon and ended up dropping $150 on supplies. I walked out going “what the heck did I just do?” then realized I looked a million times better. Worth it!
la vie en bleu
I have spent money on some good products for my brows, but I just can’t make myself spend the time to do it every day! Or basically ever, unless I am getting super dolled up for a very special fancy night. What is the secret? How much time do you spend doing your brows every day?
I highly recommend the Hourglass brow sculpting pencil. I used to use Anastasia dipbrow, and while I could make my brows look pretty awesome and it wore really well, sometimes it took me quite a while to get them right (plus it’s waterproof, so if I made a mistake it was sometimes a little rough correcting it). In contrast, the hourglass pencil is really really easy to use – I’d say it takes me maybe 90 seconds at most to do a good job.
I also didn’t ever do anything to my brows until like a year ago when I had a similar magical realization. My favorite thing about doing my eyebrows is that it makes my face look nice and pulled together while I’m wearing otherwise minimal makeup.
Friend with possible Eating Disorder
I’m looking to hear from people who have struggled with eating disorders on how I should handle a situation with a close friend. My husband and I are in disagreement. Basically, we have a couple friend that we are very close with. The wife in the couple once confided in me that she struggled with bulimia in the past but overcame it on her own and hasn’t had an issue since.
Recently, our friend has had some health problems that landed her in the ER. These problems are the same type of problems that people with ED sometimes have (irregular heartbeat, fainting). She told me about the medical problems but didn’t mention any relapse of the ED nor did I ask about it.
I then saw her this past weekend, just 2 weeks since I last saw her and she looks awful. She was very thin to begin with and looks at least 10 or 15 pounds lighter. I again didn’t say anything about it nor would I ever tell her she looks awful.
My view is that she is married, has family she sees regularly and is clearly seeing a medical professional for her other health issues. I don’t know for certain that these other people know about her ED past but I assume they do. I would hope even if she didn’t tell the medical professionals about her past that they would ask about it. I see it as not my business and not something I should bring up since there are other people more qualified and closer to her to address this that could already be addressing it. Also, she could have lost weight from the other medical issues and not have an ED issue.
My husband thinks that I need to reach out to her and address the possible ED relapse. He thinks ignoring it is like ignoring someone talking about committing suicide. He thinks it is easier to tell a friend about your issue than your spouse or your doctor (fear of their reaction) and that she may really need a friend to talk to about it.
Should I reach out and if so how? I’m still leaning towards no.
I think you should reach out with a nice hey how are you doing? But I think your husband is way overboard. She’s clearly getting medical help already. It’s not your place to “help.”
I agree with anonymous above. Reach out to be a friend, but don’t “help” her. It’s not your place and won’t be taken well. I’ve battled EDs before and any perceived slight can wreak havoc on one’s mental state.
I am curious how others will post, as I’ve been in a similar situation before and had a hard time with it. However, in my situation we were not as close friends as you are.
You and your husband are close friends with this person. She has actually confided in you in the past about her problem. You are in a unique situation where you may actually be a pretty good person to reach out to her. Family that have known you from childhood are not always a good source of support and can be very stressful. She may need a venting outlet.
Sometimes keeping it simple is the best…. meet her alone for coffee, chatting at your/her house, without the husbands. Tell her that you were sorry to hear she was in the ER, and that you have actually been worried about her lately. Don’t talk about how she looks. Don’t press. Just listen.
This is a very hard thing to overcome on your own. Maybe you can be the one to start nudging her to make sure she sees her primary care doctor after her recent ER visit (EVERYONE should do this), and that this may be a good time to let the doc know about the ED.
Unfortunately, my friends who have ED seem stuck in life-long cycles of relapses, especially during stressful times of life, but definitely therapy helps a lot.
Also, it is not clear that she is getting help. An Emergency Room is the LAST place you will get help with a problem like this.
Agreed. Just say you are concerned about her with the recent ER visit, is she doing OK? And then listen. I also agree that one on one is best.
Friend with possible Eating Disorder
She is having follow up medical care and testing w/ a specialist to get to the bottom of the irregular heart beat.
So you clearly aren’t comfortable with this, and are way too fast to suggest she has appropriate medical care for her ED. That’s what we’re talking about, right? You actually have no idea if she is being treated for her eating disorder. I guarantee you the docs in the ER did not make a follow-up appointment for that, and her cardiologist will not be helpful.
Again, I think a simple, private conversation just to know you are concerned and are there for her would be a good thing. If you can’t handle it, you can’t. You aren’t the only one.
Let’s just say I’ve been hurt by my “close friends” choosing to run the other way, rather than pick up the phone to ask me how I’m doing. I’ve learned the hard way people just don’t want to know, and “assume” someone else is taking care of it. It’s a lot easier.
Considering your friend claimed she “overcame ED on her own” in the past, I would say the chance of her not getting enough care and support right now is quite high.
That’s my 2 cents. Good luck. Thanks for thinking about her at least.
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul
I am not trained to handle anything like this in any way shape or form. In this situation I would go to the husband and express my concerns and to see if there’s any way I can help the family during this obviously difficult time.
Respectfully, please do not do this. ED is extremely personal and stigmatized. If you’re going to bring this up, it needs to be with her, not her husband.
A friend has eating issues. She was recently in therapy and part of that was nutrition and eating classes.
Recently she had an anxiety issue about an upcoming meal with mutual friends.
I found what I told her in my email:
“Last word: I know you had a lot of healthy eating learnings so I/we will assume until further notice that you’re on the right path with that kind of stuff, but if you need more friend support there, let me know. Amen. <– final word until you bring it up."
This ended up being acceptable, possibly perfect! YMMV.
This is such a tough issue and I think your concern shows how much you care about her. As someone who’s struggled with ED, I would encourage you to reach out to your friend one (1) time about this. I would say something along the lines of, “Friend, I’m only bringing this up because I care about you. You mentioned a while ago that you’ve struggled with bulimia. I know this is a sensitive subject, but you’ve been in the hospital recently for fainting and an irregular heartbeat, and I don’t think you look as healthy as you did last month. I was wondering if these things were connected and if you needed someone to talk to.”
And then back off. As you note, it’s possible that there is no connection at all between her past ED and her current medical issues. But I think it’s worth raising this one time, for the reasons that your husband notes–ED is the most deadly mental health disease in the US, but it’s surrounded by an incredible amount of stigma. And honestly, if she’s a real friend, having a single, brief, and respectful conversation about this is unlikely to do major harm, as long as you’re willing to respect her boundaries, don’t come in guns blazing, and don’t act as if she’s your problem to fix.
This dress would look absolutely awful on me. Whenever there’s a loose top with ill-defined sleeved it makes my arms look like sausages and hides my waist.
TJ: My partner and I are starting to consider buying a house in the DC area, and don’t want to spend too much as we’d rather put our extra money towards travel. Are there places that you ladies recommend? That I should avoid at all costs?
I don’t think an apartment or condo would do for us, but a townhouse is totally fine. I would prefer to be as close to a fun area of DC as possible, but since I’m still fairly new, I don’t really know anything. I love the Friendship Heights area but that’s nearly as expensive as Bethesda, and I’m not looking to spend more than $600K. I’d clearly prefer to keep it much lower, but I know that this is a HCOL area. I do not want to live outside of the beltway, because that makes me lazy about socializing. Near amenities/public transportation would be fabulous, and school districts are no issue as we are DINKs.
anon a mouse
I’m not sure a townhouse under $600K in a “fun area” of DC exists. Is price or location more important to you? You may want to re-think condos or flats instead of a townhouse.
There’s no way I could live in a condo, I have a 130 lb dog, while she is lazy, most places that I’ve looked into have weight restrictions. I’m willing to live in a “not fun” area, too, but I thought that I should get some ideas of which areas are considered more desirable.
I know that Georgetown is fun, but I wouldn’t want to live there so much due to lack of metro access. Takoma is fine with me, even though I know it’s not as booming as Adams Morgan (?).
You can’t afford to buy in DC with that budget. Rent.
Agreed. Maybe buy a 2BR if there are any available in your price range and have a tenant?
I bought a 3 bedroom townhouse in SW DC last August will less than that
Yeah honey we all want a not too expensive townhouse in a fun part of the beltway so we can save our money for travel. Good luck with that. Try Zillow for a dose of reality.
Mmm, I’ve already marked a few down there.
I know that unnecessary snark has become the norm around here, but I miss the old days where people didn’t act like jerks around here for no good reason.
la vie en bleu
You sound like you’re new to the area… have you thought about renting for a year or two while you get a feel for the market & different neighborhoods? Some of my friends here who are more tuned into real estate seem to think there might be a bubble with all the luxury condo development happening, so it might be worth waiting anyway…
I agree on renting for a while before you purchase, or at the very least spending some significant time in the neighborhood before you buy. With your budget, you might find a townhouse in Northern Virginia (inside the beltway) that would suit your needs. We’ve really liked being in Arlington (more than I thought I would because I loved my old place in logan circle) – easy to get downtown for work/play, but also lots of options for restaurants, bars, and shopping without having to go downtown. Good luck!
Hire an agent. And, I’m sorry, but your budget is crazy low unless you’re willing to buy in a much less “established” part of town– I’m talking upper Petworth or by RFK stadium, not Takoma (ha) or Adams Morgan (hahaha).
And honestly, $600k is a low budget for even Petworth these days…
That’s a very unrealistic budget for a house in a “fun” area. Maybe Brightwood – but that’s v. residential.
Why are you looking to buy if you’re still new to the area?
I think this is a common mistake some of us make. My husband and I bought IMMEDIATELY in three of the four cities to which we moved in the past ten years. And honestly, we always were fine with it because we researched the areas to death. But, we are now back in DC and it took us two years to find THE house. Honestly, I am happy we waited, but it would have been fine to move faster. It just hurts to throw money away (psychologically) on rent.
Sadly, I don’t think you can find a townhouse for that budget inside the beltway unless it is very far from public transportation, or in a very transitional (read: dangerous) area. You could find a condo for that, though.
Or, try Beekman place in AdMo. It’s not really a townhouse, more like townhouse-feel-condos, but I think it might be (barely) in your budget.
If I were you, I’d look at georgia petworth or maybe even parts of columbia heights.
I’d suggest near RFK but it seems like its most condos down there.
But yes, always best to rent for a while and learn the area before buying.
So, I would really agree with the other posters regarding renting to find your preferred location. But you may be able to find what you are looking for in the Ballston neighborhood of Virginia. It’s not quite as trendy as Clarendon, but has lots of new bars and restaurants – and plenty of parks, etc. for your dog.
You’re looking for a unicorn.
My SO and I currently have a similar budget and would like a similar location (live in a 1bd condo near Fship heights). Our current plan is to make friends with all our very elderly neighbors so that, maybe, when one of them dies they will leave the house to us in their will. I’m only half joking.
What’s your definition of a “townhouse” and how big are you thinking? If you want a townhouse but don’t need 3000 sq ft, then you may have something to work with. And, as others have said, you can always be an urban pioneer.
You might try the older townhouse communities near Merrifield, VA. . . just inside or outside the Beltway, and the Mosaic District is fun. It’s a shopping center, but has an urban feel.
$600k is not unrealistic if you’re willing to be outside DC/Clarendon. I think the newer stuff near Dunn Loring (Mosaic etc.) is pricier but if you don’t have to be right in walking distance, there are definitely nice townhouses for that price. However, if you want a townhouse two blocks from Dupont, Adams Morgan, Georgetown (ha!), Eastern Market, Logan Circle, H St, etc., it’s going to cost a lot more than $600k. One thing to think about is what a “fun” area is for you. We’re in our 30s with small children and so “fun” means something very different than what it did when we were 25, single, and up for partying until 3:00am.
I think my rush to buy is that I resent landlords and have rented from some negligent/weird ones in the past. It likely helps that my peers are all buying now, but they don’t live in HCOL areas, so I feel kind of restless and antsy that I’m failing at some large milestone.
My townhouse that I rented in LA was only 1200sqft and before that, I lived in a 900sqft house outside of LA proper. I don’t mind smaller places at all. And I’m not even that concerned with “dangerous” areas to live because I’ve lived right by a favela before, and it didn’t phase me in the least. Mostly, I would prefer bike-ability to restaurants, grocery stores, and bars. My SO and I don’t plan on having children, and thus don’t really care if we live in a family-friendly neighborhood.
I also grew up helping my parents renovate old houses, so I’m not afraid of a fixer-upper. I’m just dipping my toes in the market for now.
I’m a bit surprised at the vitriol in the responses above! Coming from California, it’s really not -that- expensive here, and my preliminary searches have shown housing well below $600K in certain areas, but I just don’t know the neighborhoods well here. I know that the SE is somewhere most people suggest avoiding. (Thus, the low housing prices there)
Thanks for the responses!
Hey I know I’m super late to this but my friend flagged it because she’s looking. Not sure if you’ll find it helpful, but we bought a townhouse in SW DC last year for about $500, after putting in offers on two other houses (H Street and Columbia Heights/Petworth) also in that price range. Yea, you can’t buy in Dupont or Adams Morgan, but there are plenty of other areas of the city that are fun, bike able, up and coming, and in that price range. I would say the hardest part isn’t finding them, but beating out the competition to get one. And have a good realtor- that makes a huge difference! Good luck!
Fairlington!! In south Arlington, right at 395 and king at (rt 7). They are townhouse condos, so effectively it’s a townhouse but you only own the inside (and pay condo fees). There are buses to downtown and the pentagon; it’s a walkable neighborhood (near Shirlington); and townhouses run around 400-450 depending on updates. We bought here and love it.
Help! I took one of my husband’s Zyrtec this morning for allergies and it’s made me entirely fuzzy-brained. I thought I was getting a cold this past week but finally realized it was allergies. My husband has awful allergies and has a big bottle of Zyrtec in the bathroom. So yesterday I took one. Later in the day I was so tired, but the kids had gotten up at 5:30 that morning, so I thought it was just typical tiredness. This morning, after I’d just swallowed another Zyrtec, I thought to look at the bottle and lo and behold, drowsiness is a side effect. I’m really susceptible to that side-effect in allergy meds (I stopped taking them when I was teenager because my chief allergy symptom was drowsiness so taking a pill that made me drowsy was useless — I’d hoped they’d improved in the last several years). Any way to de-fuzz my brain so I can actually work? I feel completely spacey, but I have stuff I actually need to get done!
Ugh, that’s the worst feeling. I have that reaction to Claritin–just completely fuzzy/exhausted, like I’m drunk.
Nothing helps too much I’m afraid except for a caffeine nap…any chance you can sneak out to your car or a quiet place for a 20 minute nap? I chug a big mug of very strong coffee, then close my eyes in the car for a short nap. I wake up with that fuzz feeling gone.
Yep. I feel like I’m 1.5 to 2 drinks in. Still fully functional for daily stuff and not slurring words or anything, but I have a fairly complex paper to edit and I cannot focus!
try allegra next time- it works for me and I don’t have the drowsiness issues. You can also supplement with Flonase and allergy eye drops depending on your symptoms. This spring has been the WORST for my allergies, it makes me miserable.
Any suggestions on allergy eye drop brands for contacts-wearers? Most of the drops require removing your contacts before applying the drops, although when I really need the relief I’m usually out and about, not somewhere with sanitary conditions where I can remove and replace contacts.
I think drowsiness is really only an issue with Benadryl (in practice, even though the leaflets will list anything and everything). Your drowsiness might just be your body on allergies? I don’t know if you’re nursing but if you’re able to take pseudophedrine, try one of the allergy+D drugs–it will give you the energy to get through the day.
Not the OP, but drowsiness/fuzziness hits with all different types of allergy medications. Yes, Benydryl is best known for it’s sleep inducing effects, but Sudafed (pseudophedrine) has also been known to knock me out (and severely fuzz me up).
No great advice for today, unfortunately, but for going forward, try taking the Zyrtec at night before bed. I have the same issue with it (and every antihistamine I’ve ever tried), so I switched to half of a once/day pill before bed. The worst of the drowsiness hits pretty early, so it helps me fall asleep. I’ve found the half dose to be enough to handle my worst allergy symptoms without staying groggy all day.
The only thing that might help today is lots of water and caffeine, and as KT suggested, a lunchtime nap – at least, that I would be willing to try at work. Real Sudafed (the kind you have to show your drivers license for and practically sign your firstborn away for) is what is in the allergy+decogestant combos, and the only thing I can take that doesn’t make me a zombie – but I wouldn’t try it at work as it might just make you a zombie + slightly high (since it is what is in it is what is used to make meth)
For future, I would suggest trying to buy a bottle of children’s allergy meds since it is liquid and you can adjust the dosage. My doctor suggested I try 1/4 to 1/2 doses, up to 2x a day instead of a single 24 hour dose pill, as the 24 hour dosage just makes me wacky for half the day and then is ineffective for the other half. I do the same with liquid children’s Sudafed – make myself a half dose of allergy meds plus a 1/4 dose of decongestant. I’ve taken the bottles and packages up to the pharmacist to have them check my math to make sure I’m not giving myself a quadruple dose by mistake, especially when I’m fuzzy headed.
I really don’t understand why adult medication is sold in one size fits all – why is my 100 lb MIL given the same prescription size as my 300 lb FIL, as if they are going to metabolize the medication the same way?
But anyway, sorry you are fuzzy headed, and I hope it wears off soon.
LOTS of water. It will help flush it out of your system. Add a few extra sodas to your day and you’ll be okay.
If I’m not mistaken, zyrtec (or at least the bottle I have) says one tablet a day, same as my allegra. It’s not like sudafed or other cold meds where you take every four hours. Maybe read the label later (that’s hard with twins/kids, I know). Also agree with taking it at night.
Yes, it’s one tablet per day. I took one tablet at 7:00am yesterday. Then I took another one around 7:00am today. I’m confused by your comment.
Sorry my mistake, reading failure on my part. I thought you took two in a 24-hour period.
Zyrtec has a narcotic effect on me too. Like, it makes me go to bed at 5:30 p.m. According to my allergy doc, it affects 15-20% of people this way. She switched me to Xyzal, which she explained to be a “cousin” drug. I understood that to mean it works in a similar way, and it doesn’t make me drowsy. Most allergy drugs make me drowsy (Benadryl) or just don’t work that well for me (Allegra; Claritin).
Zyrtec does this to me, too. I take 1/2 of a pill at bedtime and I don’t have any daytime drowsiness issues.
I’m going to a fairly high-profile event on Thursday evening after work. There’s a reception and then a keynote address but there are a lot of important people invited (I’m not entirely sure how I swung an invite but that’s a different story). I’m a lawyer in my late-20s but there will be lots of people in other professions there. I’m assuming the crowd will skew older though.
What should I wear? I was initially thinking a dress and a jacket but then maybe thought a suit would be more appropriate. I want to look competent, professional and stylish but not boring. Any suggestions?
Definitely go with the dress and jacket, then. If you wear a suit, make sure it’s a skirt suit as pants suits tend to look a little more conservative. I think a fun, professional sheath dress with a nice blazer and pumps would be perfectly appropriate.
I’d wear a suit. Unwashed.
I think a dress and jacket sound perfect – professional and stylish. If that’s what you’ll feel best in, go with it. I go to a lot of these types of things in DC and see a mix – lots of people straight from work in suits, fair number of women in skirts/dresses with fun jackets, and then a good number of women in dresses without any jacket.
I started a DC-oriented blog that has reviews but with a wry, irreverent twist. Not sure if it will be everyone’s cup of tea but thought some of the DCers here might be interested. More to come!
Anyone want to give a big thumbs up to their mechanic in DC? I drive a low-mileage but older Mercedes, just need someone for oil changes and general maintenance as I will probably bite the bullet and go to the dealership for the next major servicing. TIA!
Dealerships are the worst. I still go to Japanese Auto Care in Arlington. It’s worth the drive.
This will be super random, but I’ve had great success at the Shell station on Wilson Boulevard near 7 Corners, just into Falls Church. I grew up in the area and my family has taken cars there for years and I’ve had good luck with my old BMW. They seem honest and I’ve never had the hard sell. 6623 Wilson Blvd, Falls Church, VA
Small Firm Conflict Checks
I’m currently in Big Law. I’ve accepted a position at a small but established and well-respected firm. The offer did not have the usual “contingent on a conflict check” language and it’s been a week or so since I accepted and I haven’t heard anything about conflicts. Is it normal for small firms to not check conflicts? Seems kind of crazy to me.
When I switched from Biglaw to a small firm they asked for a list of all the matters I had worked on at my big firm to run a conflicts check. Small firms absolutely have ethical duties to check conflicts just as any large firm would. Just call and ask someone what you need to do to facilitate the conflicts check.
I’m going to my first NITA training (depos) this week and was hoping to solicit some general advice. Any thoughts from those who have done this particular course, or other NITA courses? Thanks!
I took that one and thought it was great. Advice: Don’t plan to get anything else done for those 3-4 days/nights you’re at the training. It’s a lot of performance, and on-the-fly preparation, and it’s exhausting. Do the reading ahead of time. That way you’ll have more time to prep for your performances rather than trying to get caught up on the facts/what’s going on, and you won’t feel obligated to spend every night reading until bedtime. I really needed to check out for an evening meal and relax a bit before bed. It’s a great learning experience. Have fun!
At my big firm, literally no one does the reading in advance. Or maybe 1 or 2 gunners do, but most people don’t. If you can’t get to it, you’ll be in the same boat as everyone else and won’t be behind. Everyone goes on and on about how intense the depo one is, but I actually found it to be one of the NITAs with less prep required (you just sit there and ask the witness questions, unlike a motion hearing or trial presentation where you have to have *something* prepared). It’s nice to avoid work if you can while you’re there, but it’s impossible for a lot of large firm associates. You may find yourself doing NITA prep from 8 to 10, and working from 10 to 2. It is what it is. But the training is a lot of fun, both substantively and socially. Also remember that you’re just there to learn. If you do a great job, that’s great, but it REALLY doesn’t matter in the big scheme of things so try not to put too much pressure on yourself.
Anyone used EcecRank to serve on Boards
Wondering if anyone has used the service ExecRank — its like a headunter for execs they match you up with Corporate Boards. They invited me, made it sound like it was because of my accomplishments (I run my small non profit and have gone to high status schools) but then want me to pay $189 a month to be a member. Serving on the Boards seems cool — they have non profit and for profit company and the recruiter told me they really needed women lawyers and would find a “match” soon but then after I signed up the orientation person said it took 9-12 months! Am I being bamboozled? It looks legit, they have a bunch of corporate board openings….
Bamboozled. Don’t pay for this.
If they really needed women lawyers, they wouldn’t make them pay. Just saying.
Does anyone have any tips on pulling off a wedding in the DC/NOVA area with a small budget (10-12k)? I’ve tried googling and everything I find causes me to have a mild panic attack. There are so many things to think about and everything costs so much! I truly have no idea what it requires to pull off a wedding.
We could technically spend over 12k up to about 25k or so, but we’d rather not. Does anyone have any specific advice on how to save money? Any advice on particular resources? Or at least, advice on not requiring a Xanax every time I look at the knot.com? Thanks!!
On Weddingbee long long ago (probably 7-8 years ago), there was a poster called Mrs. Tulip who blogged about her budget DC wedding.
First, step away from theknot. It really depends on how big of a wedding you want. A seated dinner for 100 is not going to happen in that budget but you could do something low key. If you have a friend with a rooftop apartment, you could do drinks and apps easily in that budget.
DearWendy posted an article on how she did a budget wedding in NYC – so not the same city, but the tips she mentions (save money on X by doing Y instead) might give you some ideas – or make you realize which things are actually important to you and therefore worth going over your current budget on.
Yep, it’s possible. Check out local and state parks– a friend had a $5k wedding for 50 people at Hendry House in Rosslyn– and be ready to way cut your guest list. Consider whether things like a florist (vs. doing your own centerpieces), a DJ (vs. friend with iPod), and such are must-haves. And yes stay away from the knot! Offbeat bride is better perusing if you’re on a budget.
Yes – it is possible if you have a small guest list. I got married in DC for about $11k, had about 54 people (including the bridal party) at the ceremony/reception and our photography costs were a present from a family member. It’s doable if you don’t mind having a small guest list, if you’re going to have much more than that, it’s virtually undoable on the budget in DC.
Another friend of mine had a similar size wedding and their reception was at a popular restaurant in Logan Circle.
What it requires to pull off a wedding: two people who want to get married, and an officiant. The rest is just gravy. The first way to save money is aim small (fewer people), and pare it back to what is really important to you, instead of all the things a wedding “should have”. I mean, you can have it at a park or at someone’s house, and order food from a local cheap-but-good restaurant (bbq, Mediterranean), or just have it at a restaurant where you don’t have to worry about decorations or catering or rentals.
I like the website Capitol Romance – not all of the weddings are cheap, but some of them are and are absolutely stunning.
Thanks for all the wedding suggestions!