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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 109 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Print Coated Canvas Large Shopper

Coffee Break |

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Lands' End Print Coated Canvas Large Shopper | CorporetteCoated canvas is always a nice option — it's thick, durable, and easy to clean. This large canvas shopper at Lands' End (which, they proudly note, was seen on Vogue.com) looks like a great tote bag for schlepping all your stuff — I like the option to personalize it in a fun color, also. The bag is super affordable — $68 marked down to $55 — and available in four color options. Nice. Lands' End Women's Print Coated Canvas Large Shopper

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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Comments

  1. NYtoCO

    Hi Hive,

    I know this has been discussed before but I’m having a hard time finding the threads. Over the weekend my future ILs told us one of our wedding gifts will be our honeymoon, and what they are offering is very generous. We are so excited– we want to save part of it, but I think we would still be able to go almost anywhere with the remainder. I’ve always wanted to travel throughout Europe but haven’t been able to very much, so that’s our priority. Due to my school schedule this is limited to 2.5 weeks and won’t be right after the wedding, but will be in either March or July. So my question is: if you had 2.5 weeks to go anywhere in Europe in either spring or summer, what would your agenda look like? Specific towns/cities? Which season would you choose?

    I would love to do France-Italy-Greece but am worried that’s too much for the time we have. For the record, we’re not interesting in lounging on a beach, but would love to see beautiful urban and rural sights, eat delicious food, and immerse ourselves in the location’s culture. My only European trip has been to Tuscany and Rome with my family in college, so I would like to avoid making Italy the only country we visit. TIA!

    • Anonymous

      With that amount of time you can actually do anything in Europe. Certainly you could spend 5 days in Paris, 5 in Rome, 2 in Athens and 8 on the Greek isles. You could spend all 2.5 weeks in France. You could tour Spain.

      We can all give you tons of ideas, but what it comes down to is what grabs your attention.

      • NYtoCO

        Thanks! Good to know that it’s not crazy to try a few different countries.

    • Sydney Bristow

      We stayed in a castle in Germany along the Rhine for a couple of nights this past April and it was absolutely fantastic. There were a bunch of other small towns nearby to explore, which are easy to get to by train. We also did a boat your that was so pretty and let us see a ton of castles from the river. The food was great pretty much everywhere we went there and everyone we met was incredibly nice. Germany wasn’t at the top of my list to visit but I honestly can’t wait to go back.

      We stayed at Burg Liebenstein in Kamp-Bornhofen. Highly recommend! It wasn’t a long train ride from Cologne.

      • NYtoCO

        Thanks! I forgot about Germany, that would be up there on my list too. Your trip sounds wonderful.

      • LilyStudent

        Oh, where in Germany? I’ve just moved to the far southwest, on the Rhine. It’s beautiful.

        • Sydney Bristow

          Kamp-Bornhofen was the town. It is southeast of Cologne. We took the train from Belgium and then out to Amsterdam so I got to see a bunch of western Germany. It’s really beautiful!

    • LawyrChk

      You can totally do France-Italy-Greece in that timeframe. I’d recommend March over July, mainly because it will be way less crowded and you can squeeze more in (less museum lines, etc.).

      • k-padi

        Be careful about Easter and Holy Week in Europe. A lot of places shut down. Easter 2015 is April 5th so I would avoid making big plans for the final weekend in March.

        • NYtoCO

          Thanks for the recommendation, LawyrChk, and the warning k-padi. I was thinking March might be better than July but will definitely keep the Easter thing in mind.

          • SA-litagor

            Agree March might be cheaper, but do a google search on average March temperatures in the countries you’re planning on visiting. It may be colder than you expect.

            Also, everyone who has been to Greece recommend you do Athens in 1-2 days max, and then go to the islands. Apparently Athens itself is mostly just a big ugly congested city, and not much to do after seeing the ruins.

            If you’re already doing France and want to do Italy – think about taking a train through Switzerland to see the Lugano / Lake Como area. It’s breathtaking and my favorite part of traveling in that area. If you’re willing to skip Greece, I recommend you hop over from the north of Italy (Venice) to Croatia. Lots of islands much like Greece, delicious food, etc and closer to your beaten path.

            Have fun!

          • NYtoCO

            Oh, Lake Como sounds amazing too. I’ve also heard great things about Croatia. What do you think about being on the islands (either Greece or Croatia) in March vs. July? I don’t mind the cold, but don’t want towns to be completely shut down.

          • Anon

            March is less crowded, but it’s still cold and there are probably no flowers blooming yet. It snowed when I was in Italy in March! Not sure what you want to do, but if you want to see parks or palace gardens or things they’re nicer when it’s warmer. Plus then you don’t have to pack a winter coat.

        • Anon

          And don’t forget that Greek Easter is on a different date if you’re going to do Greece

    • Bonnie

      I’ll be the voice of dissent and say I don’t think you can see France-Italy-Greece properly in 2.5 weeks, depending on how many citites you want to see in each country. France-Italy is probably more workable. Remember that you’re going to lose a couple days of the time to travel.

      • anon

        Yes, it’s very tiring to see that much in 2.5 weeks. Sure, you can see a lot but may not enjoy it. I’d say limit yourself to two countries. If you go when it’s colder (March) I’d go to France first then go to Greece afterward.

        I’ve done England plus a side trip to Paris in 2.5 weeks and it was pretty good. 3-4 days in Paris is good for a bare minimum.

      • BB

        +1 to this. Depending on your travel style, this is really tiring to go country hopping for 2 weeks. But then, I know some people who have to do this when they travel or they get bored.

        I guess it also depends on what you mean by “immerse yourself in the culture” because I feel like this needs at least 5+ days in any given large city location. If you have the future time and money, I would pick 1-2 countries or maybe 2-3 locations within a certain region to go to, and save the rest for later. For comparison, I spent 6 days in Rome and felt pretty “immersed” by day 5.

      • ss

        Agree also.4 countries and multiple locations in 15 – 20 days would be stressful, unless you are an extremely experienced traveller and already familiar with your destinations. Some other ideas :
        – Train connections are excellent in Europe and are very frequently a better way to travel than air (far less time getting to/ fro and waiting around at airports).
        – Daylight hours between March and April change a lot. By April you can count on sunset approx. 8.30 pm in say Paris, which gives you a lot more time for sight-seeing during the day.

    • L-girl

      We went on a 2.5 week Mediterranean cruise for our honeymoon. We saw a bit of France, Italy, Greece, Spain, and Turkey. We weren’t exactly immersing ourselves in the culture but I would still recommend cruising as a good option to see a whole lot in very little time! It was exhausting during the day with all the sightseeing but also we had a chance to relax on the ship in the evenings and really just enjoy being together. Just a suggestion for you.

    • AN

      I would do 5 days in Paris, 2-3 days each in Venice and Florence and 5 days in Spain. I would also go in March as all these places are too hot in July. Also very crowded then due to holidays.

    • NP

      March!! And I would skip Italy because you have already been there. Experience new places together for the first time

  2. Suit Store for Women

    For you Boston area folk, is there anything similar to a Miltons suit shop for women? I’d never thought anything of it, but I went there with my boyfriend this weekend and I was really impressed. They have suits in all kinds of modern styles and prices from $200-$600+ for the whole suit. They do tailoring on the spot as well. I’ll rarely need a suit in my field, but I think it’d be useful to have one so I’m wondering if there’s a similar suiting place for women in the Boston area?

    • SuziStockbroker

      Gah, this is a big complaint of mine. They have these in my city too, where you pick the fabric and the style etc, but nothing the equivalent for women.
      I hope you have better luck!

      • Sydney Bristow

        It seems like it could be such a good business idea but to my knowledge has never been done. I wonder if it just isn’t viable. It seems like there should be one somewhere in Manhattan at the very least.

        • Sue

          +1 It does seem like a good business idea. But I also wonder whether the fact that women have other options for work clothes makes it tricky. I mean if you don’t want a suit, there are already so many places selling suit separates, blazers, sheaths etc. For men a suit is the standard for all formal work situations with few exceptions.

          • SuziStockbroker

            I am down to basically one place that sells women’s business attire that I like in my city, which is not that small.
            I am a walking catalog for their stuff.

            A girlfriend was bemoaning how not-put-together people are here are at lunch one day. I said “there is no where to shop!”. She then realized that she buys almost all her clothes on business trips in New York, Paris etc.

            I feel like, if you live in a city of under 3-4 million, and you are a woman who mostly wears suits, you have MUCH less options than male colleagues.

          • Suit Store for Women

            Well this place also had nice casual wear with tweed blazers, Vineyard Vines polos, dress shoes, etc. I just found it really helpful that the sales associates really understood how a suit should fit and were able to put my hard to fit bf in a very nicely fitting suit, off the rack, with only a few modifications.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        The same fabric can be used for men’s and women’s suits. What would happen if you went to one of these shops and just had them measure you for a pants suit? Would the refuse?

        • Anonymous

          The suits are men’s suits, though. Its similar to any department store where you also buy men’s suits. The jacket and the pants are already fashioned, but then the tailor can take up the sleeves, take in the body, take up the pants, cuff them, etc. They don’t make a whole suit from a piece of fabric.

        • SuziStockbroker

          I actually tried this at a place that makes “custom made suits” where you pick the style and the fabric. He basically said “forget it”.

          • Mpls

            It’s a bummer that tailoring for a woman’s body vs a man’s body is not equivalent. And also more work, what with all the extra curves to fit.

        • MJ

          You can do this at some of the Asian tailors–I had a beautiful suit made in Singapore at Oxford Tailor (at the rec of my friends who lived there and were familiar with their work). I’ve never seen very many options for this in the U.S. Essentially there are a lot of nuances to women’s suits (darts, br**sts, skirt shape, skirt length, hips, etc.) that male tailors are not too familiar with. They could make you something, but whether it’s something you want to wear is another matter.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t know, but I worked in Milton’s in high school. Memmmmmmmories.

    • Suit Store for Women

      Thanks for all your disappointing replies. Since I don’t really need a suit, but would like one just in case, I’d love to be able to go somewhere and have them just put me in a suit that fits me properly (without spending a ton of money) since I feel like I just don’t know how a properly fitting suit looks on a woman.

      • BB

        There is an (reasonably) easy fix for this. Go to a Brooks Brothers/Macy’s/wherever you normally buy suits. Buy a suit that fits you in the shoulders. Take this suit to a tailor (I love Jerry’s in Back Bay, but I’ve heard good things about Old Bostonian) and have him tailor it to you. That is the ONLY way to get a “properly fitting” suit. It will be very rare for you to find one that fits you off the rack, and even then the sleeves will probably be too long.

        Don’t take the tags off before you go to the tailor. He will be able to tell you if what you bought is tailor-able or not and you can return it if not.

    • anon-oh-no

      Tom James does this for women, though it is much more expensive than 200-600 a suit (you may be able to get their lower end suits on a sale for 600)

  3. Breakups

    It’s been 5 months, and I still cry at least once a week, and miss him, and miss our life together. This will get better someday right ? Cause right now giving up and joining a convent seems tempting.

    • Sue

      It does get better. In the meantime try and distract yourself by spending time with your friends and family. Find new activities and if you want to, make an effort to meet new people.

    • AIMS

      It will get better. I cried for a year and a half over one break up. Saw the guy recently (many years after now) and couldn’t be happier about the fact that we broke up. Nice guy, wish him the best, glad we dated, but man is my life better now than it would have been if we stayed together.

      Joining a convent is, of course, a time tested heartbreak idea, but if you aren’t up to dating now, why not do something to make future you a happier, more interesting person than you are already? Volunteer to walk dogs in a shelter, learn French, take up knitting or boxing, read all the big tragic Russian novels, sign up to mentor high school kids, do whatever it is that you’ve always thought would be neat to do but you’ve never found the time or energy to do, and before you know you will be crying less and less. Hugs to you. Hope it gets easier soon.

      • Breakups

        The thing is though, I get home at 8 on a good night. I don’t have a lot of free time to fill and since I try and spend time with friends on weekends I can’t commit to a steady schedule then either. And, fundamentally, I have zero interest in taking up an activity. I just miss having someone to cook dinner and watch tv with on a weeknight.

        But, yeah, I know you’re right. And it’s really nice to hear thanks!

        • emeralds

          I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and please remember that it WILL get better with time. Even if it takes a lot of time.

          If you’re missing having someone to cook dinner/hang out with on a weeknight, could you reach out to some friends a day or two each week, and see if anyone would be up for getting takeout (or whatever) and sitting around watching TV?

        • Ginjury

          Or get a somewhat sociable, but not needy roommate? Easier said than done, but that could definitely help.

        • Kensington

          Can you do this with friends? I spent the night at a friend’s house after she had a bad breakup, and other friends did on other nights. It’s good to have company!

        • AIMS

          I hear you. It’s a little like having insomnia – it’s easy to say “if you can’t sleep, get up and do something productive” but when you’re awake at 3 a.m., you just want to get to sleep. But maybe you can still distract yourself with something. Lots of bookstores have language classes; you can enroll in an 8 pm class once a week. Or get rosetta stone and do it on your own. Or why be that ambitious? I would start with picking a new TV show to binge watch. It really can be anything – just give yourself something to do in the evenings until you start to actually look forward to it. And you will look forward to it soon. Promise.

    • LGP

      Have you had a Lady Garden Party since the breakup? Those can be great for getting over a guy.

      • Breakups

        Nope! I’ve tried online dating, and the set of men I am interested in does not overlap with the set of men interested in me. And honestly I have no idea how to find a hookup. I mean, Tindr, obvs, but I don’t want sex with a random guy.

    • Ellen

      Hug’s, but OF COURSE IT GET’S better! YAY b/c I have been broken up for over a year now, and I have learned NOT to miss any of dirty laundry, smelley remnant’s in the toilet or rancid takeout he stuffed in my fridge. Also, I do not mess the empty beer can’s and bottel’s, and the urine on my throw rugs and other bodily fluid’s that never made it to their proper receptaeacle’s. I realy think you will get over him, but NOT to worry, b/c you are STILL attractive to other men if you have a good heart and you can be sure that other men will be happy to assume the position your boyfreind had, and when that guy doe’s, you will be back in charge. YAY!!!!

      The profesor from GW texted me and said that he would like to come visit my firm. I told the class all about the manageing partner and he want’s to do a paper (for publiceation in the law review) on law firm etiquette. He think’s he can get alot of background material for his paper from the manageing partner, and if need be, he will give direct credit, via FOOTNOTE, to the manageing partner if he can get enough material from him.

      I told the manageing partner, but he was not to crazy about talkeing to him. He thought he could get into issues that the manageing partner is NOT comfortabel discussing. I told the manageing partner to just say “NO COMMENT” if he asked anything that the manageing partner was NOT comforteabel answering. Once I told him that, the manageing partner agreed he could come visit. YAY!

    • TO Lawyer

      It does get better. To be totally honest, my ex and I broke up about a year and a half ago and I still miss him, but I know it’s for the best now and now I more miss the idea of him than specific things about him.

      I was probably a mess for 6-8 months after our breakup but things are much better now. (actually for about 3-4 months steadily, and then I tried to move on, and then was a mess again for a few weeks). Eventually, it just stopped hurting as much and I was able to do all sorts of things that once reduced me into a puddle of tears. In the 6-8 months after we broke up, I watched a ton of Law and Order SVU, drank a lot of wine, and did a LOT of retail therapy. Probably not ideal but you do what you have to to get by.

      Long story short – it does get better. Do you have friends you can vent to? That helped me a lot. Plus doing some of the fun single stuff you can’t do in a relationship. Go with a single friend to a bar and flirt shamelessly with cute guys. Watch awful tv and order takeout. Buy a gorgeously impractical pair of shoes.

      I tried to move on too early I think and it did not work out well for me but YMMV. I did find that a LGP with a guy I would not be seriously interested in did help but actually trying to date new people backfired.

      Hugs! Hope things get better soon but if not, feel free to vent here!

  4. roses

    Is there a protocol on including publications in your resume for which you were “acknowledged” but not listed as an official author? I wrote three chapters (out of 9) of a treatise for a practice group at my firm, but because of some petty internal office politics, I was only listed in the acknowledgements section instead of being recognized as an author. Is it appropriate to still list it in the “publications” section of my resume? If so, how would I do it? If it matters, I authored five other publications that I list on my resume.

  6. Burn

    Does anyone have a good recommendation for a cream/lotion/potion to put on a burn mark to help it fade/not scar? It’s not an open wound anymore, so I don’t need anything with antibiotic properties. I’ve been using Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula but wondering if anyone has any better recs.

    • LilyStudent

      Do you have Bio-Oil where you are? My mum used it on me when I spilt a cafetiere of boiling coffee over myself as a baby (on the doctor’s recommendation) and I have no scar at all.

      • NYtoCO

        I know this was not a funny situation, but it sounds like the doctor recommended that you spill boiling coffee on yourself.

        • LilyStudent

          Hahaha, no! It was Christmas Day (or Eve, maybe) and a formal occasion, so my grandmother insisted that we put the cover on the cafetiere. Our cover is printed to look like a tux, so 10-month old me grabbed it… and it was off to Accident and Emergency with bad burns! (All fine now, so just a bad memory for my parents).

          The next year, my grandmother broke her wrist on the Christmas Day walk (slipped on ice in the woods), and the year after that, my dad set light to himself with the Christmas pudding… luckily our festivities have got less exciting in recent years!

          • Anonymous

            This just sounds so absurdly adorably Britush to me. I half expect you to announce your Mum made you wear a reindeer sweater to the turkey curry buffet.

          • LilyStudent

            Well I did wear a reindeer sweater to our extended family Christmas buffet last December! (And a reindeer-patterned dress!)
            (Sadly no Colin Firth though)

      • Miss Behaved

        I read this originally as the doctor recommended that you spill boiling coffee on yourself and was very confused. He should have his license revoked!

  7. shopping questions

    Anyone have cashmere from the Gilt brand Elorie and can comment on quality and/or sizing?

    Cole Haan – I know they are supposed to be narrow so have never tried any of their heels. Do their driving mocs also run narrow?

    • anon

      I have no problem with their heels, but in my experience, Cole Haan driving mocs are so narrow that they are unbearable on my feet.

  8. Anon For This

    What do you do when you embarrass the interviewer? I went to an interview where the person interviewing me was not in the field, rather management. Come the part when she asked me if I had any questions I asked about strategies, metrics, and programmes that the company uses. She was dumb founded and just said she didn’t know. I am certain I didn’t get the job, but incase this happens again (it likely will given my field) is there a way to save myself?

    • k-padi

      Follow up quickly with another question. Preferably something like: what is your current role? How long have you been with the company and what roles have you had before your current role?

      The interviewer didn’t handle that gracefully, she should have directed you to someone who could answer the question.

  9. homebody

    For the past few years, it seems like I am always hurt and/or injured. Yesterday I got blisters from new shoes and cut my gum and had bm problems. Over the weekend, I had a chest cold and a sore hip. My SO and I joke about my “ailments,” but it seems like a day doesn’t pass that something isn’t wrong. It seems psychological, but there is physical evidence of my symptoms–mucus or blood or swelling, etc. Am I just clumsy and cursed with a weak immune system? I eat lots of veggies and protein, get vigorous cardio in 4 days a week, get at least 7 hours of sleep. Can I even go to a doctor for something as non-specific as this?

    • Anon in NYC

      I would start by keeping track of ailments/symptoms so that you have a list of things to show him or her.

    • yousaucyminx

      Yes! I went to the doctor because, like you, I always had something wrong. Either a random cut, bruise, stomach bug, etc. I felt stupid, but better safe than sorry, right?

      My doctor took some blood and ran tests, and I found out I had several vitamin deficiencies due to a gluten intolerance.

      I changed my diet, take supplements, and feel a million times better-and no longer have random daily wounds or swelling.

      Totally worth it for peace of mind!

    • RLS

      I’m in a similar state. I feel like I’m always in pain and there’s always something wrong. I haven’t had luck going to the doctor, they usually pick one symptom and treat it to the exclusion of all the other things. I don’t have advice, but I commiserate, and hope your experience with a doctor is better than mine!

    • Anna

      I don’t know that I have advice either, but I certainly sympathize. I have a couple chronic conditions I do periodically see the doctor for, but also have the same types of little things you mention- apparently unrelated, but just one thing after another after another. I’m inclined to blame it on stress, as the last couple years have been very stressful with a new job, multiple moves, and the chronic health conditions just wearing me down to the point that my resistance and resilience is low and I have a heightened sensitivity to pain. If you haven’t been to the doctor in a while, though, it’s probably a good idea to at least get the basic blood work done, just in case there’s something obvious that can be fixed. It seems like doctors really only want to deal with one problem at a time, which I think is partly an insurance billing issue, so maybe it’s possible to book two back to back appointments to get around that?

  10. Perky

    I have joined my company’s benefits committee, and we are going to discuss perks, as in, what perks should we be offering that we don’t currently. We don’t have many at the moment, and I am having trouble coming up with much beyond gym reimbursement. So I figured I would poll you wise women — what are the perks you love (or hate, or desire) at your current workplace? Thanks!

    • Gail the Goldfish

      Free soda. Sure, most places have free coffee, but as a non-coffee drinker in dire need of caffeine, I for one appreciate the well-stocked soda fridge. (I’m sure my diet dr. pepper habit is terrible for me. I would love flavored caffeinated water, but this does not seem to be a widely available thing, or it tastes terrible)

      • Sydney Bristow

        Oh my goodness yes. I don’t drink coffee but I loved the one firm that had a supply of free Diet Coke in the fridge.

      • SW

        We have free soda, juice, tea and k-cups. It’s awesome. Also, a few times a year we have “weather closings” where management committee decides it’s too nice a day to stay in the office and they shut down the office. Those are pretty small perks in the grand scheme of things, I guess, but they are so appreciated.

    • NYC tech

      Heavily subsidized backup care (through Bright Horizons or similar). With little kids in daycare (that frequently closes on holidays that work stays open), this benefit has made a huge difference in my stress levels, improves attendance, and lets me use my vacation days for a real vacation instead of randomly staying home for Columbus Day or when a kid is sick. I love that my company does this.

      • ParalegalNC

        Yes, I LOVED this with my firm; it really helped with snow days and was very appreciated. Also may not cost the company a lot, depending on how many employees would ever use it.

    • Anonymous

      Weight Watchers reimbursement. Emergency care- for babies and other relatives in need. Access to a health advocate. Intl evacuation insurance. Cell phone and data plans payment.

    • newly in-house

      A mixture of law firms and now in-house, but these are the perks I’ve always enjoyed:
      -Free sodas/bottled water/bottled iced tea
      -Free hot tea/hot chocolate/coffee
      -Gym on-site or reimbursement for certain amount of gym membership
      -Parking (especially if building parking has a wait-list that the company can negotiate around)
      -Discount at certain retailers/restaurants in the area (one firm had a deal with Brooks Brothers, another had a loyalty program with the deli downstairs to get 5% off every visit)
      -Free tampons/pads in the restrooms
      -Free food/snacks (usually pretzels, popcorn, granola bars, etc.)
      -Free subscriptions to certain publications (both work and non-work types)
      -Cell phone
      -iPad
      -Arrangements with drycleaner service that picked up/delivered to our receptionist (with company discount)
      -Arrangements with a car repair shop that picked up/delivered your car (left keys with receptionist and dedicated parking spots for their service use) (and company discount)

    • Anon

      The thing I’m most looking forward to when I join my company (have a grad scheme offer) is the Cycle2Work scheme – it’s UK government backed so there’s a lot of informaton online. If you could offer something similar (though I assume without the tax break unless it works in your tax code too) then I imagine it would be very much appreciated

    • Perks

      Perks my office has that I particularly appreciate: free breakfast every Friday, free drinks/snacks in the kitchen 24/7, paid for healthcare premiums (I just pay co-pays when I go to the doctor), casual dress code.

      I would love to have an adjustable desk (one I could raise or lower based on whether I want to sit or stand).

    • layered bob

      transit subsidy, good back-up daycare, and, my favorite, free mental health services/counseling available for run-of-the-mill concerns, not just “I am going to kill myself tonight” kind of problems.

      More limited mental health benefits were the huuuge downside of moving to my last job, having had access to good counseling services before, which I used and which made me happier, healthier, and more productive/less distracted.

      Also bananas in the kitchen.

    • Burgher

      Summer hours! If we work our 40+ hours and don’t have anything pressing, we can take the afternoon off on Fridays between July 4th and Labor Day. My husband has half day Fridays as a permanent schedule, so it’s particularly nice for us.

    • Meg Murry

      Real flex time – as in, as long as your work gets done and your boss knows when to expect you in, no questions asked as to the hours you keep.
      Alternately – VPN or whatever setup you need to work from home
      Sabbaticals or the ability to ask for unpaid time off
      Multiple places I’ve worked have offered wellness clinics on site through the health insurance company where you can get basic blood work done (cholesterol, blood sugar, etc) so you don’t have to take a day off to do it.
      One extra day off a year for a physical if you don’t do some kind of wellness clinic
      Company provided money in HSA or FSA
      One company I interviewed with offered x dollars per year ($300 maybe?) in wellness reimbursements – that could be for gym memberships, personal trainers, weight watchers, a treadmill at home – basically anything you could make a case for fitness.
      Another place I worked brought in the trainees from a local massage program and offered free or cheap (like $5 or $10) chair massages on some Friday afternoons.
      Early release (3:00) the day before 3 day weekends
      Extra floating holiday for your birthday week

    • CapHillAnon

      Back up child care! Nothing else comes even close. My workplace offers it through bright horizons, but any reputable company would do.

  11. Anonymous

    Does grief often make a person dissatisfied with many aspects of life? I’m doing really well by all reasonable metrics and don’t have much to complain about, but I lost someone recently and since then it feels like everything in my life is wrong and I’m failing at everything (nothing has substantively changed). Is this normal?

    • Monday

      Yes. After my Dad died, I appeared to be managing everything in my life just fine, but I felt really negative, ate lots of junk food in a trance-like state, and above all was angry at a lot of people in a lot of situations. Please give yourself a pass for at least 6 months, if not a year or more. My condolences.

    • Hildegarde

      Yes, definitely. I have also experienced this, but didn’t realize it at the time. I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I hope it gets better soon.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks all. I’ll just try to take it in stride then. Any advice for getting through this rather than just not being too hard on myself and just keep on going?

      • Monday

        Carolyn Hax says to figure out the things in your everyday life that bring you comfort, or even just distraction, and do them. Things that are upsetting, for whatever reason, may be delegated to someone else or just postponed until you feel ready to deal.

        Ask for a break, or help, from anyone you think will be compassionate. As for people who aren’t, realize that it’s their stuff getting in the way and try to disregard. (I’m thinking of work people, but this could be anyone.)

        Beyond these, I really can’t think of what else got me through. I think it helps to accept that everything will be thrown off for a while, and that feeling crappy is to be expected. Again, I’m sorry.

      • k-padi

        That is really all there is to do. Grief takes time.

        One thing that helps me (and it might be too soon for you) is to do a Day of the Dead display in my house every year. I am not from a culture with a Day of the Dead tradition so I am probably not doing it right. But I set up pictures of people who have died and small objects that were theirs or things that remind me of them. For a few days at the end of October, I light a candle and remember them for as long as I need to. Then I put the objects and pictures away until next year. I feel like I am honorimg their memory while continuing with my life (like they would want me to).

    • Burgher

      Hugs to you. I am going through the same thing. I was feeling very satisfied and happy with my life beforehand and now I am so down about everything.

      • Anonymous

        :( I’m sorry to hear that. It’s hard. I just try not to think too much about stuff that’s making me feel down in the moment. Not sure if that’s healthy or foolish, though. hugs to you too.

  12. Wildkitten

    What would be the salary for a communications director at an AmLaw 100 firm make? Non-lawyer. I assume no bonuses?

    • Anyone?

      I don’t know, but I would love to hear the answer. Do non-lawyers/support functions at law firms not receive bonuses?

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