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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
This really fun, stripey gray sheath dress has an interesting shoulder ruffle, and I like the mix of the patterns and the way they play against each other. I also like the sleeves and the darts and the fact that it doesn't have an exposed back zipper. The wool blend is labeled dry clean, but not dry clean only. There are a lot of cute dresses right now at Banana Republic, by the way, so you should definitely click on over there. This one is on sale for $78 (was $138) and comes in regular and petite sizes 00-16. Lightweight Wool Shoulder Ruffle Dress
A couple of plus-size options are here and here.
Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.
(L-all)
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
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In-House in Texas
Ooh, love this dress!!
Anonymous
My hairstylist says that anyone who had dandruff should see a dermatologist to rule out any other concerns before he recommends products for just a dry scalp.
Has anyone else heard this?
Anon
Yep. Dry scalp could be a symptom of other problems. I developed what I thought was “dandruff” in high school and it turned out it was psoriasis; no one in my family had ever seen it before, so we had no idea what it was. Eczema can also cause scalp flaking. You can’t treat eczema or psoriasis with dandruff shampoo; you need specialized medical shampoo and sometimes topical treatments. So I would have derm take a look.
ANON
Wait, “dandruff shampoos” are very often recommended for psoriasis. Unless you mean just plain old Head & Shoulders?
Anon
Yes.
Kuddos to your stylist for pointing this out.
Anon
Yes, but you may find switching to sulfate-free products will solve the problem.
Anon
+1. I switched to sulfate-free products, and all of my symptoms went away. I like the Aveda Get Curly sulfate-free shampoo and conditioner.
Anonymous
Yes, dandruff shampoos have an antifungal in them and work differently than just moisturizing the scalp. If you actually have dandruff instead of a dry scalp, moisturizer won’t cut it.
Anonymous
Yes -because dandruff isn’t only caused by dry scalp.
Lynn
I love the sleeves. Cap sleeves make my arms look huge. This length is perfect.
In-House in Texas
Cap sleeves make my arms look like huge ham hocks!
Anonymous
Cap sleeves never fit properly over my (apparently broad?) shoulders. +1 for a true short sleeve.
Swimmer
I have broad shoulders and cap sleeves are basically sleeveless on me. I love a longer short sleeve! (The color and pattern of this dress aren’t for me, though.)
ChiLaw
Love a true short sleeve and elbow length sleeves too. I have relatively giant tattoos, and with a true short sleeve, they’re completely covered. With what-passes-for-a-short-sleeve-sometimes they’re completely exposed.
KateDC
I’m looking for a referral for a prenup attorney in DC. Posted yesterday but didn’t get any referrals. Thanks for the general advice though, much appreciated!
kk
I’m looking for the same in Chicago, and appreciate general advice! Hooray for upcoming weddings!
Chicago Attorney
Elizabeth Garlovsky is excellent
Chicago Attorney
Elizabeth Garlovsky is excellent.
DC Prenup.
Joel Anders – at 19 & L.
Noreen Dermer
Get a good one. I did not, and now I can’t get rid of my husband because I earn 3x what he does. He sells trinkets on EBAY and he just wants to play Mr. Mom at home all day. If I had a prenup, I would have dumped his arse 5 years ago. We have 3 kids and have been married for 8. Help!
Relocation costs
I am moving to another country for a postdoc position next week. The Professor I will be working for agreed to pay for the flight. But I’m afraid I may have negotiated less than ideally for this. It has taken longer than expected for the immigration paperwork to be finalized and I haven’t been working for sometime now so my savings are almost all depleted i.e. I’m broke. I have to rent a place to stay and have money for the first month etc before I get my pay.
I am considering asking the P.I. to help with some more of the costs either in kind or in cash, but I wonder if it’s too late now. It’s a new job as I said, we have only interacted on Skype and via email but seems like a reasonable guy. Ordinarily I would let this slide and take it as a lesson to do better next time. But I actually feel stressed. Advice?
Terry
Check out university resources. They can often do short term loans to students. If there is a post-doc association they may know what’s available.
Anon at big uni
Your university probably has restrictions on what it can cover for travel expenses, but the PI may have a little more leeway with compensation. There may also be a postdoc association on campus if you’re at a large research uni.
Anonymous
I believe my institute would pay you an advance on your first salary in this case.
Anonymous
oh and maybe the PI can get you into the university guest house for a couple of weeks.
AJ
Also, make sure you know exactly when you will be paid. I moved to Scotland for a PhD and found out that my scholarship wouldn’t dispersed ’til the beginning of the second month. Not fun.
Ask for more?
I am moving to another country for a postdoc position next week. The Professor I will be working for agreed to pay for the flight. But I’m afraid I may have negotiated less than ideally for this. It has taken longer than expected for the immigration paperwork to be finalized and I haven’t been working for sometime now so my savings are almost all depleted i.e. I’m broke. I have to rent a place to stay and have money for the first month etc before I get my pay.
I am considering asking the P.I. to help with some more of the costs either in kind or in cash, but I wonder if it’s too late now. It’s a new job as I said, we have only interacted on Skype and via email but seems like a reasonable guy. Ordinarily I would let this slide and take it as a lesson to do better next time. But I actually feel stressed. Advice?
Anonymous
Can you stay in an air bnb until you get paid? I don’t think it’s really your new jobs problem that you didn’t save and plan ahead for this, and I’d be surprised if it’s a post doc if they had the funds to give.
Anon
+1
You can ask, but …. You really dropped the ball on this one, and waited way too long to ask for help.
This is a job. I would ask family / friends to borrow money before asking your new boss. But it is ok to ask your plane tix reimbursed as soon as you arrive. You can mention then that money is tight so you would appreciate if it could be expedited.
Anonymous
In my experience it would be unusual for a Prof to provide you with a cheque just because you don’t have a lot of funds. Ask for a one month advance against your salary/grant. If he says no, you can also check if the University itself has a fund for students who need temporary assistance. My Uni has a fund that allows advances against grants/salaries.
OP
OP here: I will look into this. But it’s a small institution so not alot of postdocs so there may not even be a postdoc association. But thanks
anon
+1 in the US at least, many institutions will make a small loan against your future salary.
Anon
I don’t know how this works in other countries, but at my university, this would be pretty much impossible to do for a postdoc, especially on short notice (but might be possible for a student). You could see if he could put you in touch with other people in his research group who may be willing to let you crash with them for a week or two while you look for something and you could compensate them in some way once you get paid. Or see if the university has any sort of visitor housing that either gets billed later or you could put on a credit card?
Cb
Yeah, they might be able to connect you with a student or colleague, I’ve hosted visiting people before while they found flats.
Anon
+1. My husband is a post-doc, and we’ve hosted people while they apartment-hunt as well.
But also – the University (huge, renowned) is SO SLOW at reimbursing for expenses, so if you paid for the flight out of pocket and are expecting reimbursement, submit ASAP and know that it might take a while.
AnonyMom
Jumping in late, but my experience is that university departments typically want to help students and post-docs any way they can. When I was a grad student transferring schools, a payroll mix up resulted in my not getting paid for two months. Without even my asking, the department chair offered to cut me a personal check if I needed it to pay rent/buy food while they sorted out the mess.
There may not be an official way to pay you, but most academics have been in the position of being a poor student or post-doc. If this is a real issue for you, ask your PI. They will most likely find a way to help you get by.
Anon
Is there any benefit to calling a senator about an issue on which you have already called? They take down my name/address but I’m not sure if that is to make sure I am a constituent or if they attach my name to the position on which I am calling.
Anonymous
It can’t hurt to call again and emphasize that you feel strongly about it. An additional story of what motivated you to make a second call might help. I called again this morning after reading the story about Mike Hager (Iraqi translator shot twice in Fallujah) whose Mom died the day after she was returned to Iraq because of the ban, even though she’d be living here since 1995). She was on a visit in Iraq and he’d gone over to bring her back because she was sick, she was denied entry, returned and died. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mike-hager-mother-immigration-ban_us_5891577ae4b0522c7d3e01ae?
Anonymous
Stuck in moderation for a link. I called again this morning because I was upset reading the Mike Hager story on HuffPo – figured it can’t hurt to call and gave me a way to ‘do something’.
Emergency Fund Question
I know that the conventional wisdom for emergency fund is to save 3-6 months of living expenses. But do people include discretionary expenses? For example, I send money home to my parents every month. It’s a little extra to help them out, but they can survive without it. If I lost my job or was unable to work, they would not accept money from me. I also employ a cleaning service which I would get rid of if I lost my job. Would you still take these expenses into account when trying to save for an emergency fund?
Anonymous
Cleaning service: Yes.
Money for parents: No.
I feel that you should have enough money that you can be dedicated to job-searching 8 hours/day, just as you would if you were actually at a job. So for me, that probably means keeping my cleaning service.
Anon
How in the world do you job search for 8 hours a day? I get maybe the first week or so, where you’re rewriting your resume, writing cover letters, researching your industry and salaries, etc. But then what takes up the rest of that time?
I look at job boards once a week. I’m in a major metro area, in corporate finance, and I’d say less than 10 new jobs are posted each week. Even if I decide to apply to every single new posting, with a tweaked resume and a brand new cover letter, that would not take 40 hours. What else are you supposed to be doing?
(I’ve been casually looking – aka applying to maybe 1 job every few months if it looks good – and not gotten a single bite. I know I could put in a bit more effort, but maybe the problem is I’m missing something substantial???)
nona
I agree that this is unlikely to sustain 40 hrs/week. As for other things – working your network. Lunch/coffee/drinks, etc. to reconnect with professional colleagues and let them know you are looking and discuss what they think of the state of the industry.
Walnut
My EF will cover 6 months of all of my normal fixed and discretionary spending. I figure I could stretch this into well over a year should the situation be very dire.
Torin
+1 this is what I have.
6 months of my usual reasonably frugal but still including discretionary shopping spending would go a lot further if I really had to cut to the bone.
Anon
we have kids and maintain 6 months in our emergency fund, with the caveat that we both work and we could live exclusively off DH’s salary and we could live 80% off my salary- so 6 months is really for a scenario where neither of us work for 6 whole months.
That 6 months includes childcare, car payments, student loan payments (which we could defer in case of job loss), utilities and a modest food budget (i.e. No fancy dinners but not ramen and beans). If we cut out childcare and student loan payments, the money would last 8+ months.
In your case I’d build your e fund to include these expense then know if things got bad you could cut them.
ace
I went through my budget last year and categorized monthly expenses as red/yellow/green based on how quickly we’d stop the expenses if we had a sudden job change/loss/financial circumstances change.
Red: utilities, groceries, mortgage, childcare, student loan minimums, etc. [stuff we really couldn’t stop short of a disaster]
Yellow: Could be cut but wouldn’t need to be cut immediately — housecleaner, some shopping, student loan payments above the minimum amount, kids extracurricular activities
Green: what we could stop with relatively short notice and/or luxuries that are more of a “nice to have” – clothing for me, vacation fund, 529s, other automatic draws that go into investments
Our emergency fund is equal to 4 months of regular budget (including all of the red/yellow/green categories) or 8 months of the red-only. Hope that helps!
Anon
I like this system. Thank you!
Emergency Fund Question
I like this approach and it makes a lot sense. Thanks.
Anonymous
A really good system!
ning
I’d budget for money for parents, and also a little extra “cushion” JIC anything else comes up.
As to the 40/hours per week for a job hunt- I’m a fan of this. A few years back (during the recovery), I moved back to the US after finishing my contract in another country. Doing an overseas job search wasn’t that convenient, so I just budgeted for, and conducted, an 8-hour/day job search. It drives you NUTS, but it’s the fastest way to get employed. I had two competing offers within weeks.
Of course, I was casting the net very wide (both with job descriptions, and geographically, including half of NJ and most of NYC at that time)- the more specific your search job-wise and geographically, the harder it will be to find quality postings. Assuming a major metro area, I think there’s enough.
anon
I just started a new job after about 6 months of unemployment. I budgeted (and plan to rebuild to) 6 months’ living expenses, calculated as if unemployed/saving money. That meant my savings goal excluded things like cleaning service and minimized spending on going out and clothes. But it also included health insurance premiums, which my employer provided before, plus money for unexpected expenses such as car repairs, medical or veterinary bills, etc.
MargaretO
Newbie workout questions – what kind of sneakers should I get? My old ratty ones are not cutting it. I’m mostly doing cardio machines and some lighter weights – but planning on working up to free weights over the next couple of months as I get into better shape/find the time to schedule a few sessions with a trainer. My internet research says I should get cross trainers, is that right? If anyone has a particular pair they like for narrow heels I would definitely appreciate specific recommendations! TIA!
Shenandoah
If you’re going to be working with free weights, I would look into cross training shoes with no/minimal gel cushioning. You could look at Crossfit shoes in particular – Nike and Reebok make popular styles. You can still do cardio on the machines with no issues. You just wouldn’t want to be running several miles in your typical crosstrainer.
Amanda
I have always used cross trainers with weight lifting and running. I don’t think I’m ever really going to be in an elite enough category where the differences really impact my performance or hurt my form.
I usually go to a running store and run in them on a treadmill – they’ll bring you a bunch of different ones to try. I don’t think you need to overthink this.
Anonymous
Don’t lift in your running shoes. 1) it wears them down faster, if you buy ones made for your particular stride/with padding, which is just wasted $$. 2) the cushioning doesn’t provide you a stable base for things like squatting, pressing, even doing cable machines.
+1 to Shenandoah, but something super basic like Converse work just as well (and are one of the most pervasive and popular lifting shoes out there!) I only really switch for running.
MargaretO
Do you find that converse give you enough ankle support? I rolled my ankles a few times wearing them (as a fashion statement) and I generally have kind of problematic ankles so I am a little wary of them.
Godzilla
Wear a brace when working out. My problem ankle has just been extra lately so I’ve been wearing this for extra support https://www.amazon.com/Kunto-Fitness-Compression-Athletics-Recovery/dp/B015Z1IY7O/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1485965100&sr=8-1-spons&keywords=ankle+sleeve&psc=1
Anonymous
I would not wear Converse as an actual athletic shoe that you plan to do cardio in. You don’t need some specific kind of shoe specifically to lift weights in, especially as a beginner. If you want to do elliptical/step machines and generic weights, pretty much any athletic sneaker is ok . Running stores, New Balance, outdoor stores and more should all be equipped to fit you if you’re looking for a tailored shoe-buying experience, but if you don’t have any foot issues don’t overthink it.
Brand-wise, Asics, Mizuno, and Ryka tend to be narrower in the heel but different shoe manufacturers make shoes in multiple shapes so you don’t necessarily need to look for any certain brand. You can also get shoes that are designed to fit snug, like Nike Frees.
MargaretO
Thank you both for the advice! This is super helpful.
givemyregards
I echo Shenandoah and say go with cross trainers – I also have very narrow heels and find that when I wear my running shoes (for which I was fitted at a fancy running store with treadmill cam etc.) my heel sometimes slips out. I have a pair of cross trainers from under armour that I like, just make sure you find a pair that has a second lace loop more towards the rear of the foot so you can double lace yourself in – that will help with heel slippage.
MargaretO
The second lace loop is a really good hint, thanks! I’m specifically not doing any running because I hate it, I’m doing cardio on the ellipticals and those combination elliptical/step machines (I have no idea what they are called, the one where you can very the length of your stride).
givemyregards
I feel you – I used to HATE running. I pretty much hated all cardio, actually. But I found that after several months of upping my weight lifting and doing other toning (I was doing a lot of barre classes) I was actually itching to go for a run. I think my quads were sick of only going up and down inches at a time in barre, haha.
MargaretO
Yeah I am not the biggest fan of cardio in general, my favorite thing to do is actually squats, which I know sounds pretty nuts to most people but I loooove them. I don’t mind the elliptical style cardio machines as much. But maybe my tastes will change in time for spring! My dog would certainly enjoy going for a run if I develop a taste for it.
Rockport Shoes
I am in the same boat about starting to workout! I went to a shoe store that isn’t part of a chain, and got fit by a person. It was shockingly helpful as I hadn’t actually had my foot measured since becoming an adult. They actually recommend people get remeasured every year or two (or after pregnancy and extreme weight loss).
Because I have been doing a lot of walking on the treadmill, they fit me with a running shoe that helped to correct the slight pronation I have. They gave me a running shoe instead of a walking shoe because apparently when I walk I come down on my heel hard, which is closer to what most people do when running. The advice and fit they gave was invaluable as it solved so knee pain I had acquired since starting to work out. I 100% would recommend getting a professional to put you in a shoe.
MargaretO
Was it specifically a running store or a general sports/show store? I also haven’t had my feet measured since probably middle school so that might be a good idea…
CountC
Please go to a running store! :)
I am a runner and I have several varieties of running shoes, but when I do strength training or just pop on the treadmill to run a little bit to warm up, I wear minimalist running shoes (New Balance Minimus Trail are my faves). To echo others, I would say anything with a minimal drop (0 – 4mm) and little padding would be ideal for strength training/lifting. You want to be able to feel the floor and have a good stable base, not be propped up on tons of foam IMO.
CountC
I will add that even though it’s a running store, if you tell them what you are doing and what you need they will steer you in the right direction even if your main exercise isn’t running.
Senior Attorney
+1 to the running store.
I don’t run but they fixed me right up with shoes for my bootcamp classes.
MargaretO
Ok you have me convinced! Definitely going to check out a running store and see what they say.
Torin
I’m also a huge fan of the New Balance Minimus Trail. For running longer distances on pavement, I have a pair of Saucony Kinvara 5 that have a good amount of padding and arch support. For any thing else, I like the Minimus. Arch support while lifting is actually super uncomfortable and counterproductive. Were I doing cross fit (which isn’t really my thing personally but you do you!) I would wear the Minimus for sure.
CountC
Torin – are we each other’s doppelgangers? LOL I feel like we often agree or post very similar comments and now the NB trail shoes? It’s making me chuckle in a good way.
Torin
I have noticed this as well CountC, but fear not, I don’t actually trail run. I like to pound pavement. ;-)
Rockport Shoes
It definitely catered toward runners, but they had every type of athletic shoe. It was not a sports store, they only sold shoes and some clothing.
Mrs. Jones
I have narrow heels and have liked Mizuno and Asics. I suggest cross-trainers. I don’t think you need to get a special fitting unless you’re doing serious running or the like.
Weekend Trip with Toddler from DC?
Any ideas for a weekend trip from DC with a 2 year old? We are itching to go somewhere and get away for a few days this month. Between work stress and watching the news in the evening, we really need to decompress. Normally we would plan a trip to the Caribbean or Miami, but we’re trying to stay away from air travel (muslim greencard holder here). We thought of Philly to check out the Please Touch Museum, but I am not sure what else there is to do there that’s indoors and warm?
Anonymous
I’m understand why you want to avoid leaving the country, but Miami seems fine. You don’t have to clear customs and if there was a problem at the airport (seems extremely unlikely) you could always rent a car and drive home.
Anonymous
Maybe it’s because I have two year old twins but the idea of being even delayed a bunch at the airport with a toddler is a nightmare. Delays can always happen but they are way more than usual right now.
No kid activities advice on Philly other than my mom was there a couple years ago and had fun. I think the chocolate factory in Hersey does tours so that might be fun too.
Anonymous
I grew up in Hershey. It’s not *actually* a tour of the Factory (because that would be unsanitary plus they’d be revealing proprietary information), but there’s a TON to do with kids in Hershey and its only 2-2.5 hours from DC, depending on where you live in the area. There’s Chocolate World (which is what most people mistake as the factory tour). There’s a little ride to show you how chocolate is made as well as a 3D movie and a chocolate lab where you can make a customized candy bar –this is all very popular with kids and a great indoor activity in the winter. There’s The Hershey Story which is an interactive museum for families on the history of the company/town. There’s outlet shopping. If you have a good budget I would stay at The Hershey Lodge or The Hotel Hershey for the kid-friendly amenities. The Hershey Lodge just opened an indoor water park.
Oh so anon
While you are in the area, visit the Crayola factory!
Weekend Trip with Toddler from DC?
Thanks but we really don’t want to be a in position where we have to drive 19+ hrs to get home. Running into problems at the airport is the opposite of a stress-free weekend :)
Also, for anyone who doesn’t know, flying while muslim post-911 has been very difficult for many muslims. My husband is a US Citizen (born here) and he has been detained many times, sometimes for hours at the airport. “Random” searches + no fly lists. So, yeah, we kind of want to avoid all of that for now.
Clueless
Unfortunately probably a good plan.
Baltimore/aquarium, Philly – please touch, ben franklin museum, maybe Williamsburg area although I’m not sure if there is any indoor part of Colonial Williamsburg
Would you consider flying domestically? Austin, Nashville, Charlotte, Atlanta
Williamsburger
Colonial Williamsburg is mainly outdoors. There is one museum and you can go into some of the buildings, but you will be outside a lot. It’s all right for toddlers, but a slightly older kid would get more out of it.
Williamsburg also has one of those indoor water parks, if that’s your thing.
Anon
Depending upon how far you want to travel, I suggest Biltmore, which is, atmospherically speaking, about as far as you can get from DC and is still within a few hours by plane.
Weekend Trip with Toddler from DC?
Are there activities for 2 year olds at or around the Biltmore? Looks beautiful. Is Asheville a very conservative area?
Anon
They have a farm, I think, and a toy store. There are other things to do in Asheville. I really made the recommendation for you, though. I can’t see how anyone could be there and even be thinking about DC.
A side bonus is that while you are there you can think for yourself, “Haha, YOU don’t have the BIGGEST HOUSE.”
Gail the Goldfish
No, Asheville is one of the blue parts of the state. But I don’t know how entertaining it would be with a 2 year old. Depending on what things you like to do, I might actually suggest Raleigh (which, while I love living here, is not usually what I consider a travel destination). We have a good kids museum in Raleigh (Marbles), and another in Durham (Durham Museum of Life and Science), which is half an hour away, and there are enough other things in the triangle area that could keep you entertained for a few days, depending on what you want to do.
anne-on
+1 – my 4yr old was very entertained in Raleigh/Durham – we stayed at the aloft chapel hill and it was really well located and worked out nicely for us.
Anonymous
Asheville is a very liberal area, no worries on that front. Plus they have a wonderful chocolate store (owned by friends of mine) and the food is amazing. Lots of outdoor activities and other things to do in the area.
Anonymous
Not familiar with DC, but for small children in Philly there is the Adventure Aquarium across the river in Camden and Longwood Gardens has a children’s garden in the (indoor) conservatory.
Anonymous
Yes! Longwood Gardens would be awesome with small kids. In that general direction, you could also check out the Brandywine Museum website to see if they have any fun hands on activities for kids going on. In the city proper, there are a bunch of kid friendly museums beyond the Please Touch, and you could spend a very pleasant few hours playing in a hotel pool. (That was always a hit with my kids when they were toddlers.) Check out hotels on City Line Ave (Rt 1 just off I-76) for options that would have free parking and a pool and that are close (driving distance) to the Please Touch Museum.
Legally Brunette
Dutch Wonderland in Lancaster, PA! Probably a 3 hour drive. I haven’t been yet but have only heard rave reviews from those who have gone. It’s an amusement park specifically for children under the age of 5.
Weekend Trip with Toddler from DC?
Ooh, this looks fun! Is most of the amusement park outdoors? Wondering if it will be too cold in February?
Anon
Yes, and now is the coldest time of the year to visit Lancaster.
Anonymous
Yes, it is probably closed. Great for the summer, though. There is also Sesame place outside of Philly, but that may also be outdoors.
Anon
What about taking Amtrak to Richmond? They have some great museums.
Anonymous
Yes–the Museum of Fine Arts and the Science Museum are very kid-friendly, and there is a children’s museum as well. The Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden and Maymont are great for kids if it’s not too cold outside. Maymont has a children’s farm, some outdoor animal exhibits, and a little indoor nature center with live animals. Richmond is easily accessible from DC by Amtrak or car.
If you are into snow, the Wintergreen ski resort used to have a great snow play area especially for little kids with mini tubing, snow forts, etc.
Shenandoah
+1 to Richmond. If the weather is nice you could also easily fit in a day trip to Colonial Williamsburg. It’s about 45 minutes to Williamsburg from Richmond.
CHJ
Is New York too far? There’s so much to do indoors with kids – Natural History Museum, Met/MOMA/Whitney, the Transit Museum in Brooklyn, plus big loud places to eat like Eataly or dim sum in Chinatown.
ITDS
Great Wolf Lodge in Williamsburg, VA. Indoor waterpark, etc. geared to families.
Spirograph
Massanutten has an indoor water park, too, and snow activities that might be exciting for kids in this snowless D.C. Winter
Anon
+1. Also, they have great nanny services, so you can eek some quality time out of it as well. Just drive during off times, and it will be great.
Anon
Do what you want — but if you really want a getaway from DC, you think Philly is it? Live in DC now and from Philly — both east coast cities on the 95 corridor; it isn’t a “vacation” of any kind. Just get on a plane and go somewhere. I’m Muslim too and just flew this week (Sunday-Monday) — no issues at ALL; I don’t want to leave the country right now either, but domestically, where are you clearing customs??
Anonymous
Where are you clearing customs? Are you a federal employee? OP’s experience matches with the experiences the vast majority of my Muslim friends – lots of ‘random’ secondary screening – like every single trip. Only ones without frequent delays are those who are federal employees.
Anon
As a Muslim non-fed, I don’t go thru customs when I fly from DC to Nashville – do you?
I’ve been a fed and non-fed and obviously in certain cities I expect that I will get the secondary screening — typically the cities where no one looks like me. So? Go to another big city? I’m fairly sure Miami and ATL are used to diverse populations coming thru and every Muslim isn’t being secondarily screened. And how much time does a secondary screening really add — 5 min? 15 min? You act like you’re being pulled aside for 7 hrs at a time.
Weekend Trip with Toddler from DC?
Always a secondary screening on domestic flights. I am just not in the mood to be treated like a second class citizen this weekend. Its been a rough few months as a Muslim American, I don’t need another reminder of that.
Anon at 10:46
@ Anon 10:52 Not sure if your comment was aimed at me or not. I’m not Muslim. I’m just passing on what friends who are Muslim have mentioned. No customs DC – Nashville and customs/security = basically the same in terms of getting stuck with secondary screening.
Where are you that secondary screening only take 5-15 mins? When you’re traveling with 2 kids, opening and checking all the suitcases is an hour minimum (based on the few times I’ve had to do secondary screening at various airports). Obviously less if it’s security secondary screening for hand luggage only.
Your experience clearly differs from OP’s and that of my own or my friends. Not sure what your point is. If OP has had negative experiences with air travel, totally understandable that she wants to avoid it for a relaxing weekend.
Anon
Anon 10:52 here — ok, well enjoy Camden Aquarium, LOL. I just think it’s ludicrous to pass up a real get away bc you feel like a second class citizen – and I’m Muslim too. And no a secondary screening is not going to take an hour. You’re pulled aside while you’re in line — at that point it’s just you and your hand luggage — they’ll pat you down, go through your hand luggage, and do the hand swab. An hour – really? Domestic secondary screening is different from int’l — you have already checked your luggage at that point. Int’l secondary screening is when you are leaving the airport and then you have your suitcases with you so they go thru that — and even then, an hr?!
Anonymama
I am not Muslim but have had to go through secondary screening with young kids and it was really really annoying. And I’m a fairly patient person but the 20 minutes you wait while being extra screened are a lot longer 20 minutes than 20 minutes spent waiting at the gate. I mean, in certain circumstances you’d say suck it up and deal, but for a totally optionally pleasant vacation where the goal is to avoid unpleasantness of that sort, why wouldn’t she choose to go somewhere else? It’s not like, fly to the Carribbean or be stuck in a barren desert.
Anon at 10:46
Again. I’m not OP. Not sure why you keep responding to me as though I am. I related my own experiences and those shared from friends. Your experiences have differed from that of myself (non-Muslim), my Muslim friends, and OP (Muslim). Your derision is unnecessary.
Anondc
This +1000
Also, why would you risk it at a time like this – especially when youre trying to get away and have a peaceful weekend….
January
The Camden aquarium is right across the bridge from Philly. You might also look into the Franklin Institute, which is a science museum – it’s definitely fun for older kids, although I’m not sure about toddlers.
Anonymous
Please Touch Museum, Philadelphia Zoo!!! and the Adventure Aquarium in Camden. Plus lots of great food to eat here.
PEN
Besides Please Touch there is an Aquarium in Camden. The Philly Zoo is my favorite in the world and has many indoor exhibits that my toddlers love (primates, small mammals, endangered mammals, reptiles, aviary, indoor kids play area)–great place to go when cold. Academy of Natural Science is also a big hit with my toddlers.
Anonna
Philly has Please Touch, the Franklin Institute, Mutter Museum (medical oddities), Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, Constitution Center. Mostly indoors but not necessarily all for 2 year olds.
What about just a stay in a hotel? Hershey Lodge has a massive indoor pool complex and game room, Chocolate World is free and indoors.
Anonymous
I don’t have anything specific to add as far as travel suggestions, but I just want to say that I am so, so sorry that you feel like you’re treated like a second class citizen when you travel. It’s so fundamentally unfair and it frustrates me to no end. I know you’re probably used to dealing with it by now, but that doesn’t mean it’s fair. There are lots of out there fighting to ensure your children are treated better #nowallnoban
Me too
I am not the OP but want to thank Anonymous for the comment at 2:01. I too am traveling soon, but to Canada and DREADING coming back home. Not Muslim but a brown person, so I understand OP’s description of “being treated as a second class citizen”. I was born in Ohio but I’m tired of the “Where are you really from” type of questions. I’m really from Ohio.
Anon
My husband takes Wellbutrin for depression and ADHD, but the dose is pretty low (I forgot exactly but I think it’s about half of the “usual” dose). It doesn’t seem to be having much of an effect. Has anyone had experience either increasing the doze and seeing improvement or switching drugs and seeing an improvement?
Anon
Yes to both.
anon
This is definitely a question for his doctor. Generally, dosage has a significant effect on how an antidepressant affects the body, and different antidepressants affect people in very different ways. It’s a highly individualized experience. Also worth noting that Wellbutrin is usually prescribed in larger increments than many other her antidepressants-usually increments of 150 mg. For example, zoloft is usually prescribed in increments of 25-50 mg and can be given in doses as small as 5 mg and still have an effect on people.
I started taking Wellbutrin around a year ago. I noticed an immediate improvement on 150 mg. After a few months, I felt like it started to subside a bit, so my doctor quickly doubled the dose. That increase brought me back to where I felt at the beginning (but also with worse side effects) and I have continued to feel the effects without backslide for the last year or so. Side effects have gotten better over time. Sometimes I feel like 300 mg might be a bit much for me, but I don’t feel like messing with it right now.
No Problem
This is really good to hear from someone who’s been there. I started 150 mg of Wellbutrin last fall and definitely noticed an improvement after a few weeks. But now I think the effects are starting to subside (or maybe it’s just all the extremely depressing politics of the last few weeks?). I will ask my doc about upping the dose when I see her again next month. I did have some side effects initially but they have also subsided, so I’m sure the same will happen with a higher dose.
Anonymous
It also depends on whether you’re taking the standard or extended release tablets. Definitely have him ask his doctor about this. As others have observed, you usually start on a low dose (e.g. 75 mg once or twice a day), then move up to 150, 300, 450, etc. I currently take the standard release 75 mg tablets twice a day; previously I took extended release at 150 and 300 mg. I’ve found the standard release to be a little less effective, but my doctor and I are working to wean me off antidepressants completely in the next couple of years.
If your insurance covers it, you might look at Trintellix. I was on that briefly and it was outstanding, but I switched jobs and my new insurance won’t cover it.
Anon
Yes.
It is very common for the first medicine and first dose not to work completely. It is common to need to increase the dose, either initially or over time, or to have to change meds.
That’s way it is always best to have a psychiatrist rather than a PCP prescribing these meds, as they know more about this.
PatsyStone
I tried about 5 different med combos during the first year after my diagnosis. Wellbutrin, Zoloft, other s did not work for me but Cymbalta did. It’s actually really cool to think about how individual brain chemistry is. I was seeking my psychiatrist twice a week at that point, making it easier to pinpoint what was working. I found my ideal combination and have been on it ~10 years. I have gone up and down in dosage. Right now I’m on the highest recommended dose for my antidepressant, almost triple the amount I used to take. it has made a huge difference.
It’s helpful to take notes (like a sentence a few times a week) in between visits as you notice mood changes or side effects. I’ve found that very effective for helping the psychiatrist make suggestions.
ANON
Yes, but he should be talking to his psychiatrist about it and not doing it on his own.
Gorsuch
Thoughts on Gorsuch? I’m going back and forth on whether to call my reps to ask them to oppose. On the one hand, Gorsuch’s record on women’s issues is pretty horrendous. On the other, he seems like the most sensible pick we’re likely to get out of Trump.
Anonymous
If they hadn’t stonewalled Garland I wouldn’t oppose Goresuch. I think he’s a reasonable pick. But they did so I want the Dems to oppose to the max.
Anon
I get this but on the other hand, this is no way to move forward. My thinking was that they should do the right thing and give him a fair hearing and make a reasonable decision…and be working to get Mitch voted out of office.
Anonymous
I don’t care about moving forward. You don’t fix a bully by being nice.
Anonymous
You don’t fix a bully by being nice but you also need to be strategic in how you fight back. They shouldn’t give him and easy ride but I’d rather see them spend energy pushing back harder on other stuff.
He’ll be on the court a long time but I think 538 had an article about how judges get less conservative as they age?
Anonymous
+1. They had their chance to be reasonable. I don’t see why we need to be now.
Anon10:04
The only way to rise above this is to be strategic in fighting back.
Take a stand on impeaching and maybe imprisoning POTUS for any one of a number of violations. Kick the hard-line GOPers out of a job. But being spiteful for no reason is unfair to everyone.
anon
The ship has sailed on “fair” at this point
Anonymous
“Take a stand on impeaching and maybe imprisoning POTUS for any one of a number of violations. Kick the hard-line GOPers out of a job. ”
These aren’t things the Democrats in the Senate can do. But filibustering the nominee is. As the person above me said, the ship sailed on fair long ago.
October
When they go low, we go high. It’s irresponsible to leave a court vacancy. Oppose him in the vote based on his record if you want, but no more stonewalling. It was ridiculous when the repubs did it, it will be just as maddening if the dems do.
NYNY
Why should Trump pick the next justice in his last year in office?
Also, following the GOP logic, Hillary won the popular vote, so she should pick the next SCOTUS justice.
Anondc
Theyve been trying to do ‘the right thing’ for 8 years and it didnt work… Time for a new strategy and fight fire with fire imo.
nasty woman
This. I don’t like Goresuch. But at least he’s not 5th Cir. Court of Appeals level regressive/crazy. “Yay.”
I generally agree with being the bigger person and playing by the rules. The Garland stonewall upsets me so much. I do not know how to move past it. I get ragey every time I think/read about it. Not only was the impact enormous, it was so foul and underhanded. The lying and the hypocrisy was so blatant and obvious to anyone with two working brain cells, and yet, here we are. Dramatically reduces my faith in the governance of this country, which was not high to begin with.
Anon
I have a much bigger problem with the GOP “suspending” the rules to vote on the Treasury and HHS picks. A huge problem. How the f**k do you get to suspend the rules?
Anon
…con’t
Yes, it was so foul and so forth, which is why, if I were a Dem, I would be working overtime to get the perpetrators out of office. I believe in preserving the system, and punishing the individual people. Not the entire country!
Betsy
And that tells me that Democrats will get absolutely nowhere by playing nice. If Republicans are still playing by their own set of rules when they have a majority we certainly won’t get anywhere by trying to rise above. Resist, resist, resist.
Cb
True, at what point to we have to support the less bad?
Scarlett
+1 – I feel like I’m perpetually stuck in a bad, late night game of murder/F/marry
Anonymous
Oooh, what is this game you speak of?
Scarlett
The general gist is people toss out a list of 3 people (they could be wonderful or terrible) & you have to decide which one you M/F/M. It can be fun. Especially when played with shots shots shots.
Whoops
In my circles, we know it as f/marry/kill.
I played it quite a lot in law school. Varying levels of appropriateness. One time (while Classmate, who was an as*hole was sitting there), it was F/M/K with classmate, other classmate, other classmate. I said kill classmate. I was pretty drunk at the time. So was he, luckily, because it never got brought up again.
Anon
Trump, Bannon, Sessions – go
Anon for this
Marry sessions, k Bannon, F Trump with a strap on.
Sloan Sabbith
This is a great way to think about the current situation. We can’t figuratively murder everyone. Someone has to be married and someone has to be f-ed. And when all three options are bad, who is least bad?
Lily Barthes
No we can kill all three.
Dems did not have a min number of cabinet apt yes votes they were required to somehow use.
We trash really can just say no to every bad thing and not normalize any of this.
Anonymous
He’s about as reasonable a nomination as you’d expect. They weren’t going to nominate anyone even faintly pro-choice.
I don’t think he’s had any anti Roe v. Wade decisions but not sure so maybe faint glimmer of hope?
Mostly annoyed that they used the announcement to try and bury the reversal on Dakota Access Pipeline.
Anonymous
He’s not a fringe lunatic and he seems brilliant, but he is extremely conservative. And the seat was stolen from Obama. I don’t see any upside to confirming him smoothly, because the GOP will just eliminate the filibuster before their second nominee, who could be a lunatic. I think they need to filibuster Gorsuch now at least for symbolic reasons.
And to all the Rs saying “but he was confirmed unanimously,” SO WAS MERRICK GARLAND.
Anon
Am I the only one (I posted above) who doesn’t think symbolic actions are good? We need a justice. He’s not a lunatic.
Again, I think it would be more worthwhile to get Mitch out of DC.
Anonymous
We don’t need a ninth justice. When they split 4-4 the lower court decision stands. I am so sick of Dems letting Republicans play dirty and not fighting back.
Anonymous
We didn’t need a justice when it was our turn to pick one.
Sarabeth
But those things are unrelated. Caving on Gorsuch does absolutely nothing to get Mitch out of DC. I’d take it if it were a trade, but it’s not.
Anonymous
Yeah. If we cave on Gorsuch we will get NOTHING in return. I could see negotiating if there was something we thought we could get in exchange for a smooth confirmation, but Republicans are just going to continue their obstructionist tactics and we will have gained absolutely nothing by rolling over and playing dead – except that a lot of Dems will be vulnerable in their 2018 races because people are mad they didn’t filibuster.
CPA Lady
I’m fine with it. I mean, he’s conservative so we’re going to get someone with conservative leanings. That’s just how it is. But he seems really solid and competent. There was a somewhat reassuring op-ed about him in the NY Times yesterday. Title was “Why Liberals Should Back Neil Gorsuch”. Honestly, there are so many things to fight back against, and for me, this is not one.
Anonymous
There was also a good op-ed saying the opposite that was posted shortly thereafter.
nasty woman
I read that article, and it didn’t do much for me. To someone who doesn’t know much about administrative law, it probably sounded like he was a reasonable jurist who likes to interpret the law as congress wrote it. Wow, yeah, sounds great, who doesn’t think that’s a good idea? The author of that piece hides the ball, though- what he’s really talking about is undermining power of regulatory agencies to implement and enforce the legislation that they are tasked with implementing and enforcing, and to create regulations and implement and enforce those. As someone who likes worker protections, environmental protection, public safety, etc, etc., I see this as problematic. Gorsuch is certainly not the only judge who wants to decrease this power, and there are many very intelligent lawyers who think administrative agencies are unconstitutional all together.
There’s been a lot of chatter (and introduction of legislation) designed to severely reduce the regulatory power of agencies, and this goes hand in hand with it. For example, a bill has been introduced to change the Chevron deference standard, which is a cornerstone of administrative law as we know it. What it means is that, so long as a statute is ambiguous, the agency’s reasonable interpretation of that statute is upheld.
nasty woman
ugh posted too soon. Basically what it means is that challenges to regulations (and as we all know, we expect regulations affecting industry will be challenged) are less likely to succeed when given deference.
Anonymous
As an environmental lawyer I share your concerns about his views of regulatory agencies. But, as a woman, I’m super concerned about Roe v. Wade. He’s an Episcopalian with two teen aged daughters, so I’m cautiously optimistic that he wouldn’t support gutting Roe v. Wade. I know his views on requiring companies to pay for insurance that offers birth control but I don’t think that’s the same as outlawing abortion.
nasty woman
Hey, I’m an environmental lawyer, too! This terrifies me as well, and I don’t think the fact that he has daughters will keep him from gutting it if that’s what he feels like he wants to do. I dunno, I hope you’re right, but my faith is just totally shot.
As far as I’m concerned, someone who is willing to agree that a corporation has religious beliefs … and that those trump the ACA’s contraception benefit is not operating within reason.
Anonymous
Abortion is never going to be outlawed. Even before Roe it was legal in many states, it was just a state’s choice. And Roe is not going to be overturned. Even the fringest of the fringe justices have respect for precedent. Will they uphold all sorts of crazy exceptions to Roe that dramatically restrict abortion rights? Yes. But that case itself is NEVER EVER EVER going to be overturned (which I wish my crazy pro-life friends who vote for President solely on the basis of who they’ll appoint to SCOTUS would understand).
Anonymous
That’s why I didn’t say “overturned”, I said “gutted”. If it returns to a state’s choice that means, from a practical perspective, there will be no more abortion in the southern United States. If other severe restrictions are upheld, it will become practically impossible to obtain an abortion in many states.
Anonymous
@nasty woman
I’m vaguely optimistic only in that NY Times had a good article recently about how having daughters opens men’s eyes in a way that wives/mothers don’t. Plus Episcopalian views on abortion are different from Catholic or conservative Christian ones. Also, 538 has something up about how judges get more liberal the longer they are on the bench.
Maybe I’m grasping at straws? At least it’s not Pryor.
Helga
I feel the same way. I know the Rs can get rid of the fillibuster whenever they want, but if they are waiting until the Ds defy them, I feel like the Ds need to wait for the SC candidate that will shift the court (i.e., on death / retirement of one of the liberals). Gorsuch will just maintain status quo, which is not great but is livable (in my view of course). It makes me sad, but if this were a Romney admin vs a Trump admin, we would get an equivalent nominee, and we would suck it up and deal. Sometimes I wish we were a nastier, dirtier party more comfortable with stonewalling, as the Rs did with Obama’s nominee for nearly a year, but we just aren’t. And there are much bigger fights to fight right now. Again, if Trump god forbid gets to appoint a second justice, who will replace one of the liberals, then the Ds will need to push back hard. I am going to call my senators today.
Anonymous
The problem is that there would be no grounds for a filibuster of a second nominee, no matter how crazy s/he is. A second nomineee would unquestionably be Trumps to appoint. This is the only one we can reasonably filibuster, because this nomination was stolen from Obama.
Anonymous
Not sure I understand this reasoning. They can totally filibuster a future candidate if someone is nominated who they feel is an extremist. And post 2018 – who knows if they might be able to get enough numbers to block.
Anonymous
There is zero percent chance of Democratics taking the Senate in 2018, unless Trump nukes France or something. We have waaaay more seats to defend than Republicans do, we’re almost certain to lose ground.
Emmer
This This This. As much as I want to stick it the GOP for holding up the Garland nomination, we have to preserve the fillibuster so that we can use it for an extremist unqualified candidate. I completely oppose Gorsuch’s judicial philosophy, but he is qualified, sane, and not extremist. He is not Pryor, who Trump could certainly nominate if there’s another vacancy.
Anonymous
I believe if we confirm Gorsuch smoothly, they’ll shortly thereafter vote to eliminate the filibuster so it won’t even be a possibility for a future nominee, and we won’t have accomplished anything except looking weak. Look what they did today just unilaterally changing the rules. These people are bullies who don’t fight fair, and our constant attempts to try to rise above, while well-intentioned, are only having the effect of getting us kicked in the face over and over again.
Emmer
@Anonymous 10:59: Yikes, I hadn’t even considered that possibility. Maybe the Dems should promise to confirm him only on the condition that they will publicly commit to not invoking the nuclear option?
Anon
Why would they remove the filibuster if we don’t use it now? Why wouldn’t they just wait until next time when we try to use it? I think we save it for the next nominee b/c I think there’s a substantial chance he/she will be crazier. Just wait till Gorsuch does something moderate and the Trumpians howl loudly that he isn’t conservative enough…
Anon
As much as it would be great to have someone more moderate, he’s replacing (arguably) the most conservative justice on the court.
Anonymous
He is to the right of Scalia, according to an NYTimes graphic (but to the left of Thomas).
Anon
Yeah, but how much better if Garland were on the court and Gorsuch were replacing Kennedy or Ginsberg.
Anon
For those of us who feel we should know but don’t care THAT deeply — what’s his record? Conservative but is he crazy? Or just run of the mill conservative?
Anonymous
I would say “very conservative” not just conservative, but he is extremely qualified and reportedly very smart and principled. He’s also historically has not been a fan of the executive branch overreaching, which is important.
Clueless
Yeah this is the one time I see “strictly abides by the constitution” and think “Good!”
Emmer
No, he is not crazy, just very conservative. The bar is so low now that I am just thankful that his opinions do not have the same homophobic/racist undertones (overtones?) that Scalia’s and Pryor’s have.
Anon
The seat is stolen. I don’t care if it’s nice, I don’t care if it doesn’t move the country forward, I don’t care if it makes things hard. I want a filibuster yesterday.
Anonymous
This. I am SO mad at what Republicans did to Merrick Garland. Yes, Gorsuch is a reasonable choice in that he is very qualified, by all accounts very intelligent and a good person, and he was confirmed easily to his current position. But all of that applies to Merrick Garland too. This seat was Obama’s to fill and that should disqualify anyone Trump nominates, period, full stop. Republicans fight dirty and obstruct at every turn (see today’s actions in the confirmation committees) – why can’t we??
Anonymous
He’s our best shot at a Souter. Episcopalian with two daughters and a British wife who is a lawyer herself.
Anonymous
I don’t know much about Judge Gorsuch but just want to point out that most Republican members of Congress have wives and daughters and plenty of them, including Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell, have wives who are lawyers or high-profile politicians. I’m not sure why you think just having women in his life is going to make him pro-choice or pro-environment or pro-voting rights.
Anonymous
It’s not just that. Britain has a much less contentious history with abortion. He lived there and his wife is British. Daughters are different from wives/mothers in how they change fathers views. And there is some evidence that having daughters means legislators vote differently – http://www.nber.org/digest/mar06/w11924.html
Anonymous
I’m sure Trump’s people asked him and he said he was pro-life. They wouldn’t have appointed him otherwise. And I’d be surprised if he straight up lied, since everyone is saying he’s a very honest person with a strong moral compass.
Anonymous
I think he probably is pro life right now. But as his daughters get older and start to have kids and have to deal with reproductive issues, I will be interested to see if his views change. I don’t think Trump cares that much about the depth of prolife conviction. Trump is only anti-abortion for political reasons so as long as the candidate was willing to say they are prolife, he wouldn’t get into the intricacies of those beliefs.
DCBridesmaid
Can anyone recommend a tailor for the Alexandria, VA/DC area? I need to get the straps shortened on a bridesmaid dress.
DCBridesmaid
This is the dress. I’m not sure how much the chiffon complicates the tailoring…
https://www.kennedyblue.com/collections/bridesmaid-dresses/products/quinn?variant=5811228100
ITDS
I have used Kim’s Custom Tailor near Springfield Mall, and Suh’s Tailoring on West Street in Old Town Alexandria for this type of thing. Both do good work.
Anonymous
Cheryl Lofton (I think Shaw/14th st?) – she did BEAUTIFUL work on my friend’s wedding dress. But if it’s a super simple alternation, I’d just check yelp for the place nearest you. I used the tailor by Tupelo Honey in Courthouse once for something like this (on Wilson Blvd, don’t remember what they’re called, towards Rosslyn)
Anon
Yep, Cheryl Lofton is the best choice in DC. Can’t speak for the ‘burbs.
kk
Yep, Cheryl Lofton is the best choice in DC. Can’t speak for the ‘burbs.
Baconpancakes
Anyone see the upcoming Superbowl Budweiser ad? It’s… unexpected.
http://www.avclub.com/article/budweiser-ruin-red-state-super-bowl-parties-pro-im-249436?utm_content=Main&utm_campaign=SF&utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing
Senior Attorney
So amazing. I would love to have been in the room when that happened…
Anonymous
wouldn’t have hurt them to get one person check that one sentence in German…Otherwise huray!
Rockport Shoes
Reposting from yesterday because I posted late. Has anyone had experience with the durability of Rockpoint shoes? I am looking for a ballet flat that has at least a little arch support and comes in wide or runs wide. I have previously been buying cheapo flats because I wear them out quickly, but I am thinking about buying a nicer pair. Any other suggestions for flats that last forever would be welcome!
Anonymous
Not flats but I have a pair of black wedges (~1.5-2inches) that I have been wearing to the ground because they are insanely comfortable. Love them. I think they’ve been good quality for how often I wear them.
Annony
You might try a pair of Superfeet insoles – the black ones fit inside most ballet flats and they’re super supportive.
Bianca
No experience with Rockpoint, however I absolutely love my AGL cap toe ballet flats. I’m pretty rough on them (1.5 mile walking commute each way) and they’ve held up at least 3 years now (although the soles are starting to wear). Nordstrom’s has 40% off sales on select ones pretty often but I’d pay full price as well, they’re that comfortable.
Tax prep
Any advice on finding the right tax accountant? Wondering if I should just go to H&R Block? I have pretty standard taxes…I think. I just want confirmation that I actually do owe taxes in spite of my best withholding efforts (what Turbotax is saying). I can get the cost reimbursed, so really it’s just the annoyance of going to find someone and prepping forms. We don’t own businesses. We don’t have foreign income. We itemize but it’s 99% our mortgage interest.
Godzilla
Do not go to H&R Block. You just pay for the privilege of someone else populating your information into a software. The one and only time I went, they missed key items that would have lost me a lot of money inexcusably (I handed them my tuition form and they forgot to enter it!!!).
AZCPA
Please don’t use a chain preparer – their training is so minimal and there is no review process. They are literally just punching in the numbers you can punch in yourself. If you want someone to make sure your return is correct, and look for deductions/credits you might have missed, you need a CPA. Talk to friends/coworkers and see who they use. If all else fails, your state CPA board has a list on their website, and then you can google them.
full of ideas
This is true. I know someone who now “does returns” at H&B after two days of training, and this persons prior experience was being a grocery store clerk… scary
full of ideas
This is true. I know someone who now “does returns” at H&R Block after two days of training, and this persons prior experience was being a grocery store clerk… scary
Anonymous
TurboTax is better than H&R Block imo. If it says you owe, and you haven’t missed entering any information, you almost certainly owe. But if you want a second opinion, contact a real CPA.
nona
And do it soon, because tax preperation for regular clients is swinging into high gear, now that all W-2s are out.
Anon
I love my guy at H&R. He’s been in the business for decades. It’s about a personal recommendation for a particular professional IMO.
TurboTax is great (used it for years) but it just can’t handle complexity. Like when my DH and I got married and had been living in DC and VA before moving to DC together – TurboTax literally couldn’t do the muti-state state returns we needed to file (believe me, we tried).
Anonymous
TurboTax has no problem with multiple state returns. We have a similar situation and did it on TurboTax. I spent a lot of time reading the tax code to make sure we were doing everything correctly, but in the end it all checked out and TurboTax was right.
AZCPA
Accounting is a line of work with a specific accreditation. You wouldn’t use a lawyer who isn’t barred, this isn’t different. I’m glad you like working with him, but he’s not a tax “professional” in any commonly used sense of the word. To work at H&R Block requires no education in accounting, minimal training, and no continuing education.
Anon Canadian
Are there any non-Americans who are hesitating about visiting the US now? I’m having a hard time wanting to spend my money supporting the US economy when I see all of this truly hateful and horrifying stuff happening.
Just wondering if anyone is feeling similarly.
Anon
Um – no? If I want a vacation and can get into the country and be treated ok by the people in the streets/hotels, I’m taking one. The country’s politics isn’t my problem.
Anonymous
Wow, that’s…selfish? Way to focus only on how YOU’RE treated. Because that’s all that matters, right?
Clueless
Supporting the US economy? I don’t get how helping the people most affected by these policies is a bad thing. You can pay attention to which companies – don’t use anything Trump branded or related, prefer companies like Lyft or Starbucks who want to fight him.
Also, if you are visiting the US you are probably coming to a “bubble” anyways.
Clueless
And apparently Budweiser – what a great ad a few posts up.
Anonymous
Also, I mean…. I am in the US but travel abroad regularly… spend your money in small towns/with people. By all means don’t come here and stay at the Trump Hotel but the benefit of your visit to the government is fairly low.
Anon
IMO, if you visit as a tourist you are often supporting local business (restaurants and their staff, etc.) and usually in places that are largely blue, so in my mind you are actually supporting people who need your tourist dollars to sustain their livelihoods. Hillary won the majority vote. When Obama won, it’s not like he got 90% of the votes, yet people were perfectly fine visiting. To me, it is unfair to punish those people who have done nothing to support the current politics.
Anonymous
I posted in the moms groups earlier the week. We ended up cancelling a March break trip to Florida because we were going with our neighbours and the dad is Iranian-Canadian so it wasn’t clear (still isn’t) that he could go. No immediate plans to travel there. Feel uncomfortable about going somewhere that other Canadians can’t.
I’ve heard chat around my kids school about people picking Mexico/Caribbean over Hawaii/California because they just don’t want to deal with it.
Anon
+1. I just came back from a trip to one of our Canadian offices (I’m based in the US), and many of my coworkers there indicated that they’re not planning any trips to the US in the near future b/c of all the uncertainty. Only a handful of these people are possibly impacted by the ban – the rest were born & raised Canadian of non-ME, non-Muslim descent. They just don’t like the fact that a batsh*t crazy puppet is running the show, with a lunatic (Bannon) pulling the strings, and don’t want to be here on business if someone decides “Actually? NO more transit from foreign countries, period”. Which sounds nuts, but we’ve had 11 days of nuts, so…
Lana
In that thread, people suggested you call Disney and explain why you cancelled. I think that is an excellent way to make an impact. If someone is directly affected by or upset with the immigration ban, the best thing thing they can do is explain to the large businesses that have money and power why they are cancelling the trip. But if people are cancelling trips to CA/NYC/other blue areas where they weren’t going to stay in a mega-hotel or support a major business, I don’t think staying home or going anywhere else sends any kind of message.
Aquae Sulis
I would still love to visit the US, if I didn’t hate flying so much!
Never too many shoes...
I am somewhat torn on the issue as well, although I do see how tourist dollars might help the people on the ground. That being said, it feels like visiting the US right now is just a bit, wrong somehow…especially since as a white Canadian, there would be no issues for me to do so.
Complicated
I understand what you are saying, but I think the thing with protest is you have to think of who you are really affecting. The people who are making these laws won’t be affected by you not coming here, but the people protesting at airports are the ones who will miss the tourist money.
There are a lot of situations where this is in play. I went to Peru this summer, and a lot of the money from archaeological sites and certain trains goes to line the ministers pockets. That’s not great, but the poor people who depend on tourism also . . depend on it. I also really wanted to see these sites, so I tried to make sure my money went directly to locals as much as possible. If everyone decided to boycott, its those people who would suffer after all.
Anon
What? No.
Anonymous
I’m in the US, but I have traveled to lots of countries where I have ethical problems with the government. You help the average citizens much more than you help the government when you spend your tourist dollars. By all means, avoid Trump branded hotels but by coming here you are not lining his pockets – you’re helping average Americans (who voted for Hillary Clinton by about two percentage points less than they voted for Obama in 2012).
Anonymous
This is a philosophical difference that people have about travel. Some people think it’s better to go and contribute to the local economy. Others don’t want to give any support at all to a government that has positions they oppose. Neither position is right or wrong, just different perspectives. I don’t travel to the Dominican Republic or any other countries that don’t have an exception for saving the life of the mother in their abortion bans.
af sdf sa daf
I mean I don’t know how it helps people to have less exposure and less access to the outside world if their community or government is restrictive . . . .
Guess it depends – do you think it is something the government is forcing on the people or what people usually think.
Anonymous
I can see avoiding countries where the government has a policy that might affect you (e.g., the DR if you are pregnant and might need an emergency abortion because if what if their idea of “life of the mother” is different than yours?) but otherwise I don’t think boycotting countries based on their government’s policies does any good and it just hurts the people.
Anonymous
Go to our amazing national parks!
Anonymous
Yes, please come and see the parks before they’re gone :(
Lavender
Or Canadians could visit our own national parks – they’re free this year in celebration of our 150th anniversary of Confederation.
Lavender
Yes, I do feel the same way- I think most Americans are genuinely good people, but I don’t feel welcome in the US, like I used to.
Watching videos of trump supporters, and knowing that a vocal minority of Americans are so full of vitriol is a huge turn-off. And I’m not Muslim but I am a POC and it does make me a little afraid.
Honestly, I’ll probably still visit, but stick to places like NYC, Chicago, California, etc.
Anon Canadian
OP here. Thank you all for your responses, esp. Lavender for more eloquently articulating the reasoning behind my feelings. I’m a POC and Muslim (although you couldn’t tell by looking at me) and I’m afraid in a way I wasn’t 3-4 months ago.
I haven’t come to a landing on anything yet but it’s been something I’ve been musing about since the EOs signed on Friday. There’s also an article in the Toronto Star that takes a hardline position on this
nutella
I understand. Born and raised in the US but of immigrant families and the ones abroad are not coming to visit anytime soon. We are white and Christian, but my family abroad has accents even though they speak English fluently (and many hold masters and other advanced degrees from the US or Europe in fields taught in English). I grew up speaking three languages and there are absolutely certain parts of the country that you don’t want to be overheard speaking another language lest you get “go back to where you came from” or “speak English!” shouted at you as you talk to your grandmother while waiting in line at Target. Ask me how I know.
CKB
Yes. White Canadian here, and we are second guessing our plans to visit Idaho this summer because we are not sure what will happen next and how it will affect us, if at all. There’s a very good chance we will just stay in our own country until leadership in the USA changes. Which makes me sad, but the safety of my family is #1, and things just seem so uncertain and unpredictable to me.
Anonymous for this
I have cancelled a trip to Hawaii and will travel to Mexico instead. I know another person who cancelled a trip to another state and stayed home. I would feel quite safe, being white and very privileged, and I know my friends in Hawaii hold the same views that we do, but I just feel as thought I must DO something in the face of the policies of the current administration. I have also arranged a monthly donation to the ACLU, subscribed to the NYT and Vanity Fair for their diligent reporting on the administration, and thrown out the only Ivanka Trump piece of clothing that I currently own in addition to the previously noted travel decision.
givemyregards
Anybody have any experience switching to a budget car insurance option? I’m on Allstate now, which runs me about $650 every six months, but was quoted $380 by progressive and $440 by esurance for the same coverage. I don’t want to risk being stuck with huge bills if these companies are unreliable, but an extra $500+ a year adds up.
No Problem
What would be unreliable or “budget” about Progressive or Esurance? They’re giant insurance companies with millions of customers. And isn’t Esurance actually Allstate by a different name?
MJ
There’s no such thing as “budget” insurance if the coverages are literally at the same level. I have had esurance, progressive and GEICO for 15+ years (depending on what state and what’s cheapest). I’ve been in accidents (never my fault!) in CA and CO and both times, insurance came through beautifully. Those are reputable companies. Switch and don’t look back.
givemyregards
Thank you! I’ve had friends say the customer service/response time with cheaper companies can be unreliable, so I’m glad to hear you’ve never had any issues!
CountC
I have Progressive and have not had any issues. I was rear-ended and they were delightful to work with.
Scarlett
Respectfully disagree. I worked in the insurance industry once upon a time and there is a very real difference around how companies treat losses and their approaches to claims. You can’t always figure it out by paying more though. I’d check out state insurance commissioner and consumer reports. It’s also worth knowing the circumstances under which you can be cancelled if you switch. If you are only ever in no-fault accidents, you might be fine with a lesser company, but if you have a real problem then you may wish you had a better carrier.
Walnut
Were the policies quoted with the same deductibles and extra features like roadside assistance/rental car/etc? If so, I wouldn’t see the harm with going with the lower cost. I price mine out every couple years with a few places and don’t hesitate to switch if the policy is essentially the same.
givemyregards
Thank you everyone for your input! I’ll do a quick search of the insurance commissioner in my state. The only thing I’ve ever used my current policy for was a cracked windshield, so it sounds like it may be worth taking the savings where I can.
a millenial
does metromile have an offering in your city? im in SF and switched from progressive (~150/mo) which was the cheapest i could find to metromile (usually ~60/mo) which is based on mileage
givemyregards
I’m not sure! I’ll check them out.
Anon
So as a lawyer, I can’t say this in real life — but any other lawyers here who could just care less about the Supreme Court? I’m not the academic type (clearly). I feel like the Sup Ct puts out 1-2 opinions every few yrs of any relevance to anyone’s real life and the rest is interpreting subpart (ix)(a)(110) of some statute no one is ever going to read. Yet to hear my lawyer buddies talk about it, the Sup Ct is make or break and there are such vehement opinions on Scalia vs. Merrick vs. this new guy and they follow RBG as if she is the best thing since sliced bread. TBH I don’t even know offhand who is liberal or conservative or whatever and I don’t get the RBG obsession.
Anonymous
Wow. That’s a lot of ignorance.
samesies
so me! I am so uninterested in anything about the Supreme Court, the people on it, the politics of it, etc. Some of my disinterest comes from the absurdity of the bipartisanship surrounding the court and their decisions.
also ultimately in my local civil litigation practice, it really doesn’t touch my life on a regular basis. But I’m happy to hear any opinions to change my mind from an attorney more engaged with it.
Anon
It’s fair to say that most SC decisions will not directly impact me (Roe v. Wade notwithstanding) but issues I care about – healthcare for uninsured, rights of those sentenced to death row, marriage rights for gays, rights for those accused of crimes – do get decided by the Supreme Court.
Right now, I want to feel confident that the SC will be an ultimate backstop on executive branch overreach, which could absolutely affect everyone who lives here (or wants to.) I am withholding judgment on the nominee until I see how he responds to questions of this type. Cautiously optimistic, at least on this point.
But no confidence that Trump won’t ‘rescind’ the nomination if nominee says something that would curtail his power …
Anonymous
luckily, Gorsuch seemingly does not approve of executive overreach.
ChiLaw
I care, very generally, that my daughter have access to healthcare, that fundamental rights are available to all, etc. I’m a lawyer and I understand that the court has an impact on those things. But I can’t get into the minutiae, the hero worship of some justices and all that. I understand that everything is entwined, but I’m giving myself a pass on worrying about this particular thing. I show up for BLM, I support the ACLU and PP, all of that. But there’s only so much room in my brain, and the S.Ct. just doesn’t get the space in it right now.
Anonymous
This is pretty different than what OP said though. I don’t think anyone is saying that you have to be an RBG groupie, but you have to understand the impact that SCOTUS has on causes you care about, which you do.
ChiLaw
OK, thanks. Clearly I am also riven with guilt about my inability to care about everything — especially things that my extra-smart friends are all over.
Anonymous
You need to let that go. I think I saw you reference that you were at a protest on the weekend. that’s great! Just pick one or two things to do every week. You do your part but you’re not responsible for saving everything. You’re not just sitting on the couch liking and sharing memes – you’ve been actively involved so cut yourself some slack.
nasty woman
Oh my god. This is shocking to me. You don’t care because you are extremely privileged and so are largely insulated from the impacts of the decisions the Court makes that affect civil rights. Also, apparently, you don’t care whether your fellow citizens’ rights are protected. And, you just don’t understand how major the court’s role is in shaping your every day life. The impact may not be immediate or obvious, but it is real. Honestly, reading your post again, you sound like a troll or someone who has been living under a gddmed rock for the last 12 years. I would advise you not to say this out loud in front of *anyone,* not just lawyers, for the sake of your own dignity.
I’m a law nerd, which is probably obvious from my posts. But I’m not nearly as interested in SCOTUS for nerdy law reasons as I am aware of the fact that the Court has an enormous influence on things that deeply matter to me and can actually impact my life- the health of the environment, voting rights, REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS (hello………. but I guess you’ll always be able to get all the health care you need, so who cares if other women can, right?), corporate money in politics, LGBTQ rights, and so on, so forth.
For example, within the last few years the Supreme Court gutted the voting rights act, legalized gay marriage, prevented most of Texas’s abortion clinics from closing, decided that corporations have religious rights (what?), protected affirmative action programs, protected the Affordable Care Act, and determined whether millions of people were subject to deportation. Among many other things.
Honestly, think about it. It costs hundreds of thousands of dollars and years and years to litigate a case all the way up to the Supreme Court. You think people really do that for cases that don’t affect people’s lives? The justices decline to hear the vast majority of the cases appealed to the Court. You think that they choose ones that don’t matter?
People care about RBG because she has long been a champion of women’s equality, work from which you have directly benefited, as it appears you are enjoying working in and being treated as an equal in your chosen, previously male dominated, profession.
ChiLaw
But how *can* you be passionate about everything?
I honestly don’t know how to strike the balance, so I am doing what makes sense in my life. And it makes more sense, in my life, to march with people marching against police brutality, to show up at the airport in support of detainees, to give a portion of each paycheck to organizations I believe in, and to stop there to live my day-to-day life, trying to “be the change” and all that. I acknowledge that the Supreme Court is important. But more things are important than any one person can stay on top of! The school board elections are important. This weird local drama in my ‘hood about the water utilities is important. My Iranian friend’s pending naturalization is important. Environmental science is important. The Syrian civil war is important. Arts are important. Conservation is important. Health care policy is important. Climate change is important. Healthy food is important. I can’t follow it all, and I don’t think that I’m a bad person for admitting that the Supreme Court is one of the areas where I can’t (or chose not to) stay entirely up to date. (I also question how much impact I can have by following the day-in-day-out of the Supreme Court, vs. getting involved locally.)
JTX
But the OP didn’t say she doesn’t have the time or energy or capacity to care. She said she doesn’t care because she doesn’t think it is important. That is way different than what you’re saying here. There have been many, many posts recently about political exhaustion like you are describing.
Anonymous
+1 to JTX. Nobody is criticizing you, ChiLaw. People have said here over and over again that nobody has time, money or energy to fight for everything and you have to be to selective about what you fight for. What OP said is totally different.
nasty woman
I never said you had to be passionate about everything. At all. But OP is basically comatose.
Honestly, I’m a pretty passionate person. I have a lot of energy and a lot of interests and a lot of rage for people who try to erode other people’s fundamental rights. Not everyone is like that. That’s ok. We all have limits- I most certainly do, too! We all need self-care. No one can be an expert on everything and I most certainly am not. I can’t and don’t try to keep up with every SCOTUS case either. But OP didn’t just say she’s struggling to stay up to date- she just said she doesn’t care.
I don’t think you’re in the same boat as OP at all, ChiLaw. Not at all.
Scarlett
+1 nasty woman. slow long claps.
Anonymous
Unfathomable. I work on Federal law. SCOTUS is extremely important to my industry.
Beyond my professional interest, I can’t even imagine being personally indifferent to issues like free speech, reproductive rights, gay marriage, executive power, etc. The make up of the Court is essential to freedom as we know it.
Anonymous
+1 There are three branches of government. SCOTUS appointments are the judicial equivalent of the Presidential election.
JTX
I think they can be even more important than a presidential election because they don’t have term limits.
Voter
wow
This is part of our problem.
Anon
I guess I’m part of the problem but how much does the Sup Ct really affect YOUR life?? Are you planning on an abortion (and btw – you can still get them even if they become illegal) or a gay marriage? Do you not think how they’ll come out exactly on party lines re exec power? And honestly I don’t care if clause number 912 of some irrelevant statute is violated.
nasty woman
“(and btw – you can still get them even if they become illegal)”
I call troll. Screw off.
Voter
Agree with citizen united point below. Just a mammoth, terrible decision which my hope had been would be reversed with time. But as the court shifts more right…. ugh.
I work in health care and see the impact of abortion restrictions every day, so yes there. While I believe it will not be overturned, the restrictions already in place have lead to difficulties in many states for the average woman accessing basic care. You forget…most women are not as fortunate as you.
Gay marriage…. I have many friends who are gay and who are getting married and have children, so yes there.
Empathy and appreciating the need for justice for people outside of your own tiny experience is an essential trait as a member of the human race, in my opinion.
Anonymous
This is so much the problem. That people should exclusively care about things that affect them personally.
And I know you can’t be bothered to learn this, but more often than not SCOTUS does not split based on party lines. If that were the case they wouldn’t need to here oral arguments, vote, or issue opinions. We would just decide each case by counting up each party’s nominees.
Anonymous
Yeah, so lots of people care about things that don’t directly impact them. You seem to be unfamiliar with that concept. I’m white but I still care about BLM issues and Dakota Access being assessed properly. Good luck with that relying on illegal abortions thing. It’s not pre Roe v Wade many women died from them, oh wait….
Anonymous
Um, the overwhelming majority of women who have abortions are not planning them. Very, very few people use abortions as both control. And even if you’re at a point in your life where you have a partner and are in a position to raise a child, many people choose abortions because there is a risk to the mother’s health (not just life, health includes fertility, etc.) or the baby would be born with a horrific disease and live only a few months and they want to spare it the suffering. It’s impossible to say you know with certainty won’t ever need to take advantage of abortion services, unless you are not s*xually active and never plan to be.
Anonymous
birth control*
No Problem
Well, a case wouldn’t make it to the Supreme Court if it’s about an irrelevant statute. Cases make it to the Supreme Court when there is a legitimate concern about the constitutionality of a statute that affects (at a minimum) the person involved and (more often) possibly many others.
And the justices don’t always vote along party lines. Roberts voted to uphold the ACA, remember.
Do you think Citizens United has had no effect on the nature of politics in this country?
“Are you planning on an abortion (and btw – you can still get them even if they become illegal) or a gay marriage?” Uh….if she does get an illegal abortion and she gets caught, she’ll go to jail. That’s a pretty darn big effect on her life. And even if she’s not the one who wants or needs the abortion, it could be her sister, daughter, friend, coworker…look what happens in countries where abortions are illegal (see e.g., Romania back in the day, large parts of Central America). Any maybe she is planning on a gay marriage. Or maybe she wants her gay friends to be considered next of kin so they can be by their partner’s side in the hospital, among numerous other rights granted to married couples that are not granted to unmarried couples.
cbackson
Go to jail or, you know, die.
Anonymous
But when it comes to that, how does the president really affect your life? Assuming you have stable enough employment to continue to have health care, and you don’t plan an abortion (lets not even get into the health risks of abortions outside of the legal framework) and you don’t happen to be an immigrant? Why should you care about any of that? These things are about what they symbolize. People coming together and agreeing on a way to structure their society.
Many people feel a similar disconnect as you. They don’t see how any of the work that state and federal legislators do has anything to do with their daily lives. This is why they don’t vote. IMO, this is a fundamental problem that puts democratic societies in danger. America is currently trying to wake from this stupor, there are people calling their representatives to let them know the will of the sovereign. They demand real representation.
For too long, this hasn’t happened on a large scale. People have not used their right of political participation, and still, a lot of people haven’t noticed that they are this close to having theirs severely curtailed.
But it all matters. Just think about it. We have evolved and come to this point as a society, where we are developed enough so that you and I do not have to procure food or shelter, but we can sit in front of our computers and have philosophical deliberations. How awesome is that! And how did we get here? Humans made this happen. Humans build societies, invent technology, pass laws and enforce them…literally everything around you was brought about by people! Individuals and groups. What you think and what you do about our political landscape, matters. If you remember that, our representatives also will.
Senior Attorney
You are totally part of the problem.
Jeebus. I am beginning to think that most of the people in this country are just awful and we are getting exactly what we deserve.
1.0
“Are you planning on an abortion (and btw – you can still get them even if they become illegal)”
Not necessarily, but I’d like the option, you know?
“or a gay marriage?”
I mean, hopefully someday! You know gay women read this website too, right? We’re here, we’re q*eer, we also need advice on what shoes are cute and funky but not SO funky as to no longer be work appropriate.
And, you know, in general — I may not be able to directly name which SC decisions affect me on any given day, but as a woman, as a lesbian, as the daughter of an immigrant, this stuff absolutely matters intimately to me.
Ck
I appreciate your honesty, and I am disappointed to hear it.
Citizen’s United alone has had a massive impact and is changing the face of politics, contributing to where we are today.
To be oblivious of the basics of who is on the court and where they lean, and to be a lawyer yourself….. is very disappointing.
Anon
Turn your back on them and they sneak in things like Citizens United.
Anonymous
This is bonkers to me. As a lawyer, you swear an oath to uphold the Constitution. The Supreme Court is the institution that interprets the constitutionality of legislation, rules, statutes, actions, orders, etc. If any part of you is interested in or cares about the legislative or executive branch it’s hard to imagine why or how you could dismiss the impact and importance of SCOTUS.
Also, to say that you just don’t care about what’s going on with SCOTUS because it doesn’t affect you is such a function of privilege. *You* may not be personally impacted by the decisions being made, but I can assure you that millions of people are every year. And the consequences of those decisions can last for decades.
I’m not saying you have to make SCOTUSBlog your homepage. But to be a lawyer (or even a minimally actively engaged citizen) and say you can’t be bothered to know anything about SCOTUS is absurd.
Anon
You cannot be a good lawyer then, sorry. The Supreme Court’s impact on administrative law (so you must not do litigation or transactions for the corporate world) and criminal law alone (so you must not be a do-good pro bono local law type either) … Are you really a lawyer?
Anonymous
Who would hire a lawyer that can’t be bothered to track major judicial decisions? I would be terrified to find out my lawyer was not staying on top of the changing legal landscape, and not only that they weren’t staying current, but that they could not care less.
It would be like going to an oncologist who said they couldn’t be bothered to know what major medical journals and research studies are saying about cancer treatment because they don’t personally have cancer.
cbackson
Well, in all fairness, it’s more like saying you won’t go to an oncologist who doesn’t track research in cardiology. Staying on top of the changing legal landscape for most corporate lawyers doesn’t involve watching the Supreme Court, and tracking major judicial decisions at the federal level isn’t customary for folks on the corporate side. It’s really, really rare for the Supreme Court to make a decision that has a day to day impact on a garden-variety corporate lawyer’s practice. It happens, but it’s not that common. What’s going on at the DE Supreme Court is more relevant for most corporate folks, but even then, it’s a subset of all the decisions the DE Supreme Court makes, and we don’t follow anything but the stuff that matters.
I can be bothered by the OP’s attitude as a citizen, but as a professional, it’s not odd for her to find that little of this affects her practice.
ChiLaw
I’m one of the posters being purloined, I think, and I’ll tell you that I stay up to date on decisions that impact my practice, for sure. I don’t have to follow all the updates in Supreme Court jurisprudence to do that.
Anon
Yep. You garden variety commercial litigator or M&A lawyer does not have cases impacted by the Supreme Court. And whether they are impacted/care personally or as citizens — well I don’t really care what they care about in their free time.
Anonymous
+1 to this. I’m a patent lawyer and the Supreme Court has issued only one decision in the last decade or so that’s affected my practice. I care about the Supreme Court because I’m a citizen and a human being who wants civil rights for my minority friends, not because I’m a lawyer.
Anon
Dudes. There’s a huge difference between new S.C. cases that impact your job as a BigLaw lawyer and not recognizing the impact previous S.C. cases and established precedent have on your area. I mean, this nominee has said stuff about changing the rule on agency deference. Tell me the Supreme Court hasn’t shaped Patent Law.
Anon
Millenial?
Senior Attorney
Kids today. Am I right?
nutella
Millennial here and a massive, huge, SCOTUS nerd. As in, spent two years of law school researching and writing about it. I listen to oral arguments during my commute, am friends with SCOTUS bloggers and journalists, and older lawyers (and non-lawyers) often call me to ask about what I think when anything comes up in the news about the Court. (In fact, this chick should have bet money, because I correctly predicted Garland and Gorsuch as the nominees!) The majority of Americans cannot name all the justices of the Supreme Court… reading above, it’s clear to see why.
Anonymous
please don’t judge a whole generation by this. Sheesh, baby boomers…
Sloan Sabbith
I’m a millennial and this horrifies me. Yeah, I practice in an area where these decisions have impacts on my clients’ day to day lives, but I cared about it in law school, too.
One of the most beautiful moments I’ve witnessed in my life was watching two of my best friends get married. They’re gay. They read part of the Obergefell decision to each other. There was not a dry eye at the ceremony. SCOTUS decisions have impacts on lives beyond your own.
Anon
LOL. Your friend group is obviously different than mine – if someone read a Sup Ct decision out loud at a ceremony, I’m pretty sure I’d laugh . . . .
Anonymama
Uh, pretty sure I’m glad you’re not in my friend group then.
Anonymous
I’m a millennial, not a lawyer and both gay weddings I’ve gone to have included readings from Obergefell. Some of the language is almost poetic. The parts read at weddings aren’t legal-ize.
Sloan Sabbith
“No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were…Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.”
It was that segment. Not legalese.
But you do you.
Anon in NYC
I’m straight and my wedding included a reading from Obergefell. Some of the descriptions of marriage are beautiful.
Anon
Poor forgotten Gen Xers
Anon
OP here. Ok. Sorry I’m not as holier than thou than the rest of you. And no the Supreme Court doesn’t touch my work in any way shape or form. And hate to say it – if you needed an abortion, you’d find a way to get one, legal or not. I feel like it makes the 30 something coastal liberals (i.e. my entire annoying peer group) feel good to have something to wring their hands over.
Anonymous
I have trouble believing that you actually think so overly simplified about abortion.
Anonymous
Caring about other people doesn’t make someone “holier than thou.” You don’t care about the Supreme Court because you don’t think anything it does affects you directly. You outed yourself as incredibly self-centered and you are getting called out for it.
cbackson
I think some of the response to you has been over the top, but you do know that people died from illegal abortions, right? Or were severely, severely injured? And that in countries where abortion is illegal now, women still do die, or lose their fertility forever, or go to jail? And that sometimes they even go to jail for miscarriages if the hospital that treats them thinks they tried to abort at home?
It’s one thing to say you don’t follow the Supreme Court closely (I don’t particularly either). It’s another to say that Roe v. Wade doesn’t matter because we’ve all got coathangers in our closets.
Anonymous
Really? https://www.theguardian.com/world/2012/nov/14/ireland-woman-dies-after-abortion-refusal
She couldn’t get an abortion at 17 weeks and she died. Abortion bans kill women.
Anon
Oh, I see who you are. Don’t exactly fit in here, but not exactly comfortable hanging with the Brietbart crowd either. Sounds lonely.
Anonymous
“And hate to say it – if you needed an abortion, you’d find a way to get one, legal or not.”
FWIW, I don’t think it’s that crazy to not care that much about individual Supreme Court justices or the vast majority of opinions that the Court issues – most of which are technical and don’t really affect people – but your comments about abortion indicate how seriously misinformed you are. Many people died from illegal abortions and continue to do so in countries where it’s illegal. If certain states make it illegal, it’s not as simple as “oh just travel to get one.” Many people don’t have the resources to do that.
Anonymous
or as we have learned recently, if they leave the country – they may not be allowed back in.
Anon
I am guessing you’re the kind of person who has literally had everything handed to you but you think the way to succeed is to work hard and pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
Poor women will not have access to abortion in the scenario you so blithely describe.
lost academic
“if you needed an abortion, you’d find a way to get one, legal or not. ”
WTF. No. That’s not how access to illegal medical procedures work unless you’re rich.
Senior Attorney
I think the OP is assuming that everybody reading here is rich enough to buy access somehow.
And I think Anon at 1:21 p.m. is spot on.
Mrs. Jones
You are wrong in many ways. I’m not 30-something or on the coast, and the Supreme Court and reproductive choices are very important to me.
Anonymous
Well, if you need something to stroke your own self-interest, consider that cutting access to abortion has a serious impact on long-term public costs. You are correct that a certain segment of the population will still be able to access private abortions, or cross borders to get one. A much, much larger segment of the population — lower income individuals — will not. That same segment of the population also has less access to adequate healthcare. Consequently, the children will grow up less healthy, and far more likely to require public assistance — funded by your tax dollars. Statistically speaking, lower income families with more children also have less access to quality education, and children born in those conditions are less likely to be able to support themselves and more likely to require public assistance as they age. Some economists theorize legalizing abortion leads to lower crime rates. Putting aside the morality of any of these arguments, all of this impacts you way more than you apparently realize, genius. And if you really don’t think Citizens United had an impact on your life, we’re not going to be able to help you here.
Aunt Jamesina
Nah, “holier than thou” would be being willfully ignorant of something because you have the luxury of it not directly affecting you, and thinking it’s a waste of time to engage. So.
Sharon
My 85 yo father in law was an obstetrician. He still chokes up thinking about the lives of women he tried to save in the days of illegal abortions, who would show up at the hospital with horrific infections or conditions. He tried mightily but some of them still died. But hey, go on thinking that “you can always get an abortion if you want one.”
Anonymous
Just FYI, the correct expression is “could NOT care less.” If you “could care less” that means you care.
Anonymous
Thank you for this comment. “could care less” drives me nuts!
Aunt Jamesina
Yup, and the abbreviation for the Supreme Court is SCOTUS, not “Sup Ct”. What’s up with that?
Allegedly Bad Anonymous Lawyer
I’m a lawyer and I don’t generally follow/analyze every minute twist and turn of every decision and change at the US Supreme Court. Stuff that impacts my specialty, sure. Generally reading the legal news, of course. Could I name every justice in order of appointment off the top of my head? Probably (but I can also do this with any number of celebrity ex-wives).
Anonymama
Yeah, but there’s a big difference between not following every minute detail and just completely not caring or paying any attention to what’s going on with the Supreme Court. A lot of their decisions do affect millions of lives, and as with all government actions the people most affected are those on the margins. And decisions on voting rights and representation seem merely administrative but end up having a very real effect on who gets into power.
Anonymous
I’m going to an out of town baby shower this weekend. I’ve only been to a 2 previous baby showers, both of which were in my city, so I purchased and brought a gift from the registry. This time, the baby shower is in NY for a friend who lives in DC (she’s originally from NY). I live in Boston. It seems like a hassle to buy a gift at the local Babies R Us and bring it to NY, only for her to bring it back to DC.
For a bridal shower, I’d ship a gift and then give a card with money at the actual wedding. Is this a similar situation? Do I purchase a gift off the registry and have it shipped to her? If so, do I then bring a card to the shower (with or without money/gift card)?
This is a close friend. She was in my wedding and vice versa. I don’t want to offend, but I’m at a loss for etiquette.
Anon
Ship the gift to her in advance and bring a card (no money required since you’ve given a gift already). I’d bring a card just in case she wants to do the tacky gift opening in front of all — she’ll have something to open from you so it doesn’t look like you came without anything — though I suspect others will be in the same boat.
October
It is not tacky to open gifts, which people spent time and money on, while the guests are present so you can graciously thank them and show your appreciation. I think it’s gift-grabby not to open them. But I know this is an issue on which we’ll never come to a consensus on this s*te.
givemyregards
In these situations, I always just send a gift ahead of time so they don’t have to haul it back. Since it’s this weekend you might be in a bind, can you send something overnight via Amazon? And then maybe bring a card and something small – like a cute onesie or similar – to the baby shower.
H
Agree. Order the gift off her registry and have it shipped to her house. Bring a card to the shower. You could include a photo of the gift in the card if you wanted to. I don’t think you’ll be offending anyone and she’ll likely be grateful she won’t have to haul it back to D.C. Or if she’s that close of a friend, just ask what her preference is.
Edna Mazur
This is what I would do. Picture of the gift in a card.
Walnut
I think shipping a gift to her is perfectly appropriate. If you want something that will be opened at the baby shower, maybe add a book or something small to your card with a note in the card identifying the gift you had shipped.
Anonymous
OP here: thanks for the suggestions. I purchased 3 items, totalling $60ish, from her registry. BabiesRUs will ship directly to her. I’m going to print out the receipt given that she probably won’t receive the items before the shower on Sat., and I’ll look for something small, like a book, to include with the card.
On another note, how long do babyshowers typically last? It starts at lunchtime. I’m thinking 3-4 hours? I’m taking advantage of the trip to NYC to meet up with friends, so I figure I’ll be safe to make dinner plans?
ace
I’d hope 2-3! If at a restaurant/other venue, probably shorter; if at a home, possibly longer. I think at 3 hours other people will be leaving so may your plans so that at the 3-3.5 hour mark you can hug the new mom goodbye and get going.
Anon
Forever. Baby showers last forever. Until you are willing to chew off your own arm to free yourself from the steel trap.
I say this as someone who had two baby showers of my own &I felt the same way.
Leave when you need to leave. 3 hours is plenty.
Senior Attorney
I think you’re safe making dinner plans. And I also think it’s fine to say “Gotta run — have dinner plans!” after 3-4 hours.
Charlotte 'r e t t e s
Paging anybody in Charlotte – my best friend is getting ready to sit the bar this month down there (hadn’t been practicing for long enough to waive in when she moved due to a family situation, sadly for her) and I want to send her something. Either a basket of snacks or some kind of food delivery. She leans vegan/vegetarian but her fiance doesn’t; I thought about sending a purple carrot/blue apron box but that seems to just add more work. Amy suggestions for something I could have delivered locally? (or, hey, nationally, whatever?)
CLT anon
I’d call Reid’s Fine Foods and see what they can do with a basket. If she lives anywhere near the Pasta and Provisions (original store on Providence or new one on Park Road), a gift card to there maybe? If she lives uptown, the merchants at Seventh Street Station may have something she likes (or a gift card to Amelie’s (there is an uptown location) may be a welcome study break).
Another CLT anon
These are all great suggestions. Best of luck to your friend!
SW
Not in Charlotte, but my best friend is. There is an app called Favor that delivers from lots of local restaurants and bakeries.
Meg March
Atlanta ‘rettes– give me your feedback! How do you like the city? I’m coming from NYC, and have also spent ~5 years in Los Angeles. If you’re in law, what’s the state of the legal field there? I’ve been accepted to Emory Law with a good scholarship, and am considering my options.
Frozen Peach
Love it here. Lots of legal jobs compared to other markets. Born and raised, but there’s a lot of really awesome cultural activity and a huge community of young people.
Amanda
I’m in NYC now, but I lived in Atlanta for over 10 years. I really loved living in Atlanta, and if I ever leave NYC, then I will be going back to Atlanta. It has great food, the people are friendly, lots of culture (ballet, broadway shows come to town, museums), lots of outdoor activities (the Appalachian trail is close). Traffic is awful, but I don’t think LA bad.
Gail the Goldfish
Eh, I think the traffic is equally bad, actually, and I swear Atlanta drivers are worse than LA drivers (and I say this as a native Georgia driver). But if you’re used to LA traffic, you’ll be ok. I imagine the hardest thing to adjust to if you’re not a native southerner would be the summer humidity.
Mrs. Jones
I’ve lived in ATL for about 20 years. It’s miserably hot and humid in the summer, traffic sucks, and there’s not much scenery besides trees. OTOH, the cost of living is good, there’s lots to do, and you can get direct flights pretty much anywhere.
cbackson
I’ve probably annoyed everyone on this board with how much I talk about loving Atlanta :-). I lived in the PNW and in NYC before coming back to the city – it’s incredibly vibrant, cost of living is low compared to the cities you’ve been in, and it’s very, very beautiful. I’d actually suggest going to FB and searching under the hashtags #defendthefifth and #fifthdistrict – you’ll see a ton of posts about the city that people put up in response to Trump’s description of the Fifth Congressional District (which covers the city) as a “crime-ridden wasteland” because John Lewis criticized him. I think that’ll give you a good sense of the place.
I’m also an Emory alum (undergrad; I moved away afterward) and am very involved with the university still. It’s a fantastic community. From a job opportunity perspective, Emory Law grads do well in the ATL market, although if you want a biglaw job you’ll need to be high in the class. I think Emory Law also places well in NY; not sure about other markets. Emory Law students do a ton of externships, which I think also opens some doors in terms of opportunities outside of biglaw.
lost academic
Get a car if you don’t have one already. City is great – it’s not NYC but it’s large, especially considering the sprawl, and there’s a lot to do. The lawyers I know seem happy and the salary vs cost of living is one of the best.
anon prof
Love it now, but it did take me a few years to do so–people are very nice and the level of human capital is rising, but it is very different from LA or NYC in terms of what the average person is like. On the Emory campus and area, though, not so much–it’s a wealthy, pretty blue area. I think of it as LA without a beach. Come live in City of Decatur and ride the Cliff shuttle to Emory!
BabyAssociate
Emory Law alum here. Atlanta is a nice city and the cost of living is great….if you’re ok with driving everywhere. I was not and that was honestly one of the top reasons I could not stay long term.
In terms of the legal market, be prepared to explain why you want to be in Atlanta when looking for jobs. If you’re not looking to make your life in Atlanta, Emory does place pretty well in New York and moderately well in DC. Most of my friends stayed in Atlanta, but out of the whole class people that left are certainly not a minority. Take a very close look at both employment and bar number for Emory specifically.
Happy to answer any other questions!
Anon
Any tips on writing a goodbye email to coworkers?
I’ve only been here a year and have absolutely hated the work and the environment, though the people have been sweet (if not the brightest bulbs). It’s definitely a situation of OMG THIS IS THE WORST FIT IMAGINABLE FOR ME and not really a comment on them.
I was thinking of:
“Dear Team,
Today is my last day with Z. I’m leaving to go do X at Y. You’ve been so kind to work with and I wish you the best as you continue to grow the practice.”
Is that too curt? I’m naturally short in professional emails, but I don’t want my dislike of the place to bleed over.
Is it rude to not include contact info? I’m connected with a few of them on LinkedIn and that seems like plenty. (The rest I have no desire to connect with after this.)
Anonymous
I basically said something along those lines when I left my last job. People I was close with otherwise knew. I’d include your forwarding email though – you don’t have to engage with them on it, but it seems cold to not include that. It can be your new job email or a jane.m.smith at gmail deal.
CHJ
I think the text you have is fine, but I would add some contact information. Careers are long and you never know who you will run into in the future. I’m a lawyer, and I have worked with people in bad environments where I never wanted to see them again, but outside that context and a few years later, they are perfectly lovely people who have even turned out to be business referral sources. So… you never know. Throw in a line with your personal email address and don’t look back.
af sdf sa daf
I like your wording “you’ve been so kind to work with” as I will likely need it for similar reasons shortly.
Anonymous
Don’t like that phrase at all, and is kinda awkward grammatically.
Anonymous4
This is pretty much exactly what I said leaving my last job. I didn’t include my contact info, as it was an industry I don’t necessary intend to return to. I think I may have said something like – I’d be happy to connect with you on LinkedIn – but I didn’t offer phone/email contact.
Anonymous
I think your email sounds good. I left a job in a very similar circumstance and I said “Today is my last day at Z. I’m leaving to become X at Y. Although I’m very excited about this next stop in my career, I’m sorry to leave Z and will miss working with you. I hope to remain in touch [Insert contact info].” Multiple people told me it came across as fake, since I was so obviously not sorry to leave Z. I think your version sounds more genuine but is still polite.
Anonymous
I said something similar but instead of ‘sorry to leave Z’ said ‘I have really enjoyed my time at Z’.
Anon
Don’t send a goodbye letter. This is not required. People know how to find you on LinkedIn.
Anonymous
Disagree. Especially in small offices.
Send an email that says thank you for the experience, best of luck to you all going forward, and where you can be reached in the future.
Anonymous
I like the goodbye email. It helps me keep on top of who goes where, otherwise I’d have no idea what happened to half the people I used to work with.
Anon
It’s a gendered thing. Women send goodbye emails. Men tend not to. Yes, I have received goodbye emails from men but not nearly as often as women.
Plus, OP doesn’t like the job, isn’t sorry to be leaving, and doesn’t think much of her coworkers. There’s nothing to say here that would be helpful.
Anonymous
In all the law offices where I’ve worked, both men and women send goodbye emails, even when they aren’t leaving on the best terms. It would be seen as odd to not send one.
Anonymama
I haven’t seen it as a gendered thing at all. Rather, people who got fired didn’t send emails, people who left under pleasant circumstances did send them.
Help - On a shoe hunt!
Hi all! I have been in search of a camel colored, simple and comfortable work pump and have been coming up empty. I would prefer under $100 but would pay up to $150. I wear a size 6 and am looking for a heel around 3-3.5″. Chunky heel is preferred and open to a skinnier one, but not a stiletto. I have to walk around a lot during my work day so comfort is critical. I really like Clarks, Franco Saarto, and Cole Haan brand for their comfort. I will post a link in the comments to the shade of camel I am looking for. Thank you in advance!
Help - On a shoe hunt!
http://www.colehaan.com/tali-double-zip-work-tote-woodbury/U01596.html?dwvar_U01596_color=Woodbury&dwvar_U01596_width=#cgid=womens_handbags&start=1
Try Talbots
Seriously, they do a good chunky heel and are always comfortable and durable. They often have sales and should hit your price range. I think they have one now (but it is suede; I have a prior season’s in tan leather).
anonypotamus
I’m not sure if it’s quite dark enough to match the shade of camel that you picked, but I just got a pair of pumps from Nine West that look close. I believe the heel is 3.5inches and on the narrower side. I have this style in another color and find them quite comfortable, but they have a ton of other styles in a similar color. I had totally forgotten about Nine West and was pleasantly surprised by their styles (and prices).
Travel Q -- mileage cards
I have been an infrequent traveler but am ramping up again (personal and work).
I have a Capital One miles card and an American Airlines card (I live at a hub, so this is something I’ll keep b/c I save on baggage fees).
Is there a sense of which of the two cards is really better? I’d like to move spending to one exclusively to bank miles to pay for a family ticket here and there (or to pay for tickets for grandparent visits to us).
Thanks!
Too much Facebook
A relation, who is a big Trump supporter, posted something about how the US would have lost WW2 and we’d all be speaking German if it wasn’t for our protectionist policies at that time.
Can any one please enlighten me as to the conservative logic for how accepting immigrants would have caused us to lose WW2? I though that Jewish immigrants like Einstein helped us build the bomb and win the war. What am I missing? Even if I don’t agree, I’d like to understand what he’s referencing. All I can think about are all the people who were denied visas to immigrate to the US who ended up dying in the Holocaust.
Anonymous
I suspect he’s referencing some kind of white supremacist propaganda. There is nothing in legitimate WW2 or Holocaust scholarship to support that theory.
Anonymous
This.
Bacon Anon
I mean, we stayed OUT of WWII’s fighting for quite awhile, in the name of protectionism, and that WWII was a Europe problem. We tried to support the effort with goods/materials (and letting pilots join the RAF), but as a country we didn’t supply military force until after Pearl Harbor (right? Am I mis-remembering this?). So it wasn’t our protectionist stance (support but don’t fight) that stopped the Nazis. It was providing military might (not-protectionist, right?) that actually helped end the war. OBviously can’t be referring to Japanese interment camps (I would call that a protectionist policy) because the outcome would be speaking Japanese, not German (to follow the logic).
Unless they are thinking about the fact that we didn’t join until we directly affects (via Pearl Harbor)? But really sounds like a load of bullcrap.
Anonymous
This is correct. The war started after the invasion of Poland in September 1939. It was worldwide from the beginning because of the countries involved (Allies at that point included, amongst others, UK, Canada, Australia). United States remained officially neutral until more than two years in the war, when Pearl Harbor was bombed in December 1941.
Anon
Actually, I would argue we were too isolationist at that time and should have entered the war sooner. There was much racism/discrimination here too, and it took us getting bombed to enter. In fact, I honestly wonder why Japan made that fatal error, as the US may have delayed entering the war unti,it was too late otherwise.
Anon
He has probably read some wackadoodle conspiracy theory somewhere that he believes to be true, and loves slyly alluding to it so that you will ask and he can send you a million links. Be prepared for attempts at 9 – 11 and holocaust debunking too.
Anon
Yeah, this isn’t conservative thought, this is crazy thought.
There’s a difference.
Benched
I will be on “the beach” or the bench or whatever it is called. Bottom line as of Monday, I am not staffed (MBB).
What do you do in these cases?
I have no idea on duration: could be 1 day or 2 weeks (after which I am off for training).
Firm not particular on face time but you are on call and have to be ready to work should anything rise.
Apart from doing my expenses and booking doctor appintments (haven’t been in over a year), what else should I think of?
Anon
At MBB I can’t imagine this will last long right? It’s not a function of lack of work – as with other firms at times – it’s a function of you just rolling off one engagement and not being staffed on the next one yet? So I’d schedule most of your stuff for Monday – dr; dentist etc. If you have home things to take care of, try to schedule them for that week – anything requiring a service person to come over. Other than that, just make some plans with non MBB friends for drinks/dinner for every night that first week – you’ll likely be able to make it unless you’re staffed immediately, which is likely a change from the usual.
Jo March
Same situation – in my office/firm, there’s an expectation that you get in touch with Partners/Managers etc. to help with proposals, recruiting, firm thought leadership (ex: white papers), etc. until you’re staffed again. In your case, you might want to fill up all of the 2nd week with that work before you leave for training so that way you get a breather now to take care of the errands and a productive period to show you’re still working hard.
Anon
I’m seeing some social media posts about a national strike on February 17th, for those wouldn’t be fired for not going to work. The idea is no one works or shops or spends money that day. Apparently such things have been done in Europe. Thoughts? Does it really accomplish anything? I’m intrigued.
Anonymous
This is done in Europe and it is incredibly effective. Basically everyone – teachers, bus drivers, university students etc goes on strike at the same time. Usually multiple large unions are supporting another one. My European DH was totally confused when he came here and found out how small strikes were and that they lasted many days/weeks or even months instead of one major strike lasting one day.
Anonymous
They call it a general strike in France. Is that what we’re talking about? It’s not happening everywhere in Europe, fyi.
Anonymous
Europe is very diverse so stuff rarely happens ‘everywhere in Europe’
Anonymous
I think part of the challenge, at least in my state, Texas, is that most people are employed “at will” meaning they can be fired without cause. That would have a pretty immediate chilling effect on participation. The hospital my mom works for issued a memo recently with a list of words the hospital considers cause for immediate termination including “strike,” “union,” “collective bargaining,” etc.
Blonde Lawyer
I’m not familiar with Texas law but it sounds like your mom’s hospital is violating the NLRB anti-concerted activity provisions. You can’t bar employees from organizing and unionizing. There are public safety positions that can be prohibited from striking.
At will means you can be fired without cause for any LEGAL reason. They still can’t discriminate or violate federal law. There are some anti-union activities in “right to work” states but I think that just means they cannot require employees to pay union dues / join the union.
Anonymous
at-will means you can be fired for any reason or no reason, as long as the reason is not illegal.
d
Mom’s employer would not have sent a memo that collective bargaining was grounds for immediate termination. (management side labor/employment atty). Very few grounds to terminate striking employees, either (they can be replaced in an economic strike) in an organized workforce. Maybe some special rules for an emergent situation or in health care.
Almost every state is an at-will state. Yes, you could be fired for anything (but nothing illegal), but employer would practically have a very hard time replacing en masse, esp. if you’re working in a specialized field. I think the big issue is the relationship going forward.
I think you’re more likely to get hit on the no call/no show or pointing out attendance wise.
fads
Strike has to be just not showing up right? You can’t get around that by taking PTO or calling in sick or something like that that might be more acceptable?
“I’m sick . . . sick of work!”
Anonymous
ruh roh to that hospital.
Anon
I am from a country where this is common. If the issue is very serious and most people in the country care about it and co-operate , then I think it sends out a statement. Otherwise, no one will even notice. Either ways, I have not seen it accomplishing anything substantial.
Not Sheryl
I think I am about to lean out. I have an internal interview for a new position that is very specialized. Think financing, M&A and working closely with the Board. Lots of work to get done within set times. Late nights possible.Job description does not excite me but it’s great exposure and would be awesome for a rising star. I just don’t think that’s my stage of life right now. My current position is just fine. Low key, flexible hours, great boss. My new boss is probably great too but doesn’t currently have any young mothers working for him. I am due with my 2nd this summer. Is it wrong to bail due to trying to balance home and family and a husband that travels a lot for work. I would like to work for the new guy in the future in about 2 or 3 years when my kids are older but now just seems like added stress for work/life balance. How do I handle it if I get an offer?
Anon
Why are you interviewing for this then? No clue how you handle it but obviously end it in such a way that it doesn’t burn bridges and the new guy doesn’t think you’re mommy track bc he’s not going to be inclined to work with you in 2-3 yrs.
Not Sheryl
Good question. I am interviewing because it’s the second time in 2 years I have been asked to interview for a role in that department by the potential boss. Definitely trying not to burn bridges but the job description was initially vague so I didn’t realize all that was involved till just recently. It’s so weird to be at this point in my life where I definitely feel I am on the mommy trac k but don’t expect it to last for too long. I’d hate for everyone else to think it was permanent but I guess that’s a risk I have to take.
Anon
If you are 100% certain that you don’t want to be on mommy track for long, you can say it. If you have been a reliable person for yrs, people will believe you when you say — can’t take this type of job now, but I will be 100% ready in 2 yrs. And then you better be ready though bc then if you start saying — well the toddler is only 2, then people will decide you are mommy track whether you are or not.
Anonymous
No, it’s not wrong to recognize that the position you currently have is great and fits really well with your current priorities. If it were me, I’d probably decline the interview. But honestly, if you’re lukewarm on it, they’ll probably recognize that in the interview process and you won’t have to decline the offer.
Anon
OR you could take the job and be part of the solution. Establish family friendly work practices for yourself and your staff and colleagues. This will benefit people junior to you down the line.
My sister did this at her company and I’m very proud of her. So are her daughters, who are teens now. They admire the heck out of her.
Addison's Disease?
I have lately been craving salt in a really strange way. Like, canned soup isn’t salty enough. I googled it and am now worried that I have Addison’s disease– it all fits. Does anyone have any experience? I would feel really strange making an appointment with a doc because I am oddly craving salt and have a lot of other very common symptoms….
Torin
I’m not a doctor but I have dear family friends and family members who are, and I think I can speak for them when I say: stop googling symptoms. If you’re worried about your symptoms, go see an actual doctor.
Addison's Disease?
OP here– thanks. I really try not to consult Dr. Google, and I actually had a physical recently, which didn’t turn up anything other than a few vitamin deficiencies . This salt craving is such a weird experience that I just googled out of natural curiosity.
Anonymous
I posted yesterday about my potassium levels going high when I started spironolactone. During that time I craved salt. Sodium and potassium are both electrolytes and they have an inverse relationship to each other. I am not qualified to give medical advice, but I would get your electrolytes checked, at the very least.
givemyregards
I started spiro a few months ago and since then have been craving saltier foods – I’ve always had a massive sweet tooth and could care less about salty snacks, so this makes a lot of sense!
Anonymous
Ha, me too! My sweet tooth is gone, and I want chips all the time (even though my potassium levels are now normal). Strange.
lost academic
Sometimes it’s an iodine deficiency. Go to the doctor, though :)
Anonymous
Sometimes we crave things simply because they taste good and not because of a medical problem.
nutella
spamtest123