Long Hair, Older Women, and Work
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Readers had an interesting threadjack the other day about what constitutes “long” hair, which made me think about this old discussion about whether older women can have long hair “and still be professional.” (Yeah, I know, even the question is cringe.)
But I started wondering — are any of these old arguments relevant in 2023? Is there a certain magical age at which you have to get your hair cut to shoulder length or shorter?
(Full disclosure: I have always had my hair between shoulder length and bra-strap length, save for a cute asymmetrical haircut that was adorable aside from the fact that I'd forgotten my hair has never been consistently straight — and then the “post-wedding chop” where I donated 9 or 10 inches or whatever. At this point (in my mid-40s) I cannot see myself willingly having hair that is too short to put into a bun.)
Why Did People Used to Think That Only Young Women Could Have Long Hair?
So let's go way back to 2009 — some of the reader comments at the time on this issue (from a threadjack, of course), involved things like these comments:
Women over 40 in law firms or corporate practice almost uniformly have hair above the shoulders. Anything longer just doesn’t look polished and modern. There’s plenty of flexibility to wear your hair in a sleek bob, or with loose or tighter curls. But hair that drags on the shoulders seems inconsistent with the classic look you see on most women of that age in senior positions
Another commenter noted that “[u]nless it’s a stunning cut, short hair makes you fade into the background, i.e. forgettable!” (Which is soooo interesting taken with the idea that women often talk about becoming invisible in general once they're past a certain age… like the short hair trend is encouraging that “we value your contributions but it would be better if you just blended into the background” vibe.)
Other posters noted that the rule of thumb (short hair for older women) was grounded in the physical realities of aging — frizzy hair, jowls, crepe-y neck, etc.
Only Younger Women Could Have Long Hair, Then?
The fun part of this discussion is that no, young women often wrote in to Corporette worrying that their long hair made them look too young — and wondering whether they should cut it when they got their first “Big Girl Job,” as we phrased it back then.
Long Hair and “Professional” Looks in 2023
I'm curious to hear what people say here. I would say that there are no rules anymore (huzzah!)… but I would still argue that waist-length hair is probably still not something I would advise, although I'm struggling to put my finger on why exactly.
I do think it's important that whatever your hairstyle is, it looks intentional (but, ideally, not in a way that screams “I spent three hours on my hair this morning”).
Readers, what are your thoughts? Are there any limits on long hair these days for women, young or old?
Interesting! A quick women CEO review has all of them with short to mid-length (no longer than collarbone) hair. In thinking of the VPs in my org, they all follow the same pattern (mostly shoulder to chin length). I’m an elder millennial, and I guess I’ve never thought of hair length as professional or unprofessional, but there’s some clear bias – whether self-selected or not. Most women I work with have mid-back and above hair lengths (technology/defense adjacent).
I think this may be that very senior women tend to be older and older women tend to have shorter hair. Lu mom and aunts all had longer hair in their 30s and 40s but now they’re in their 60s they’re all shoulder length or shorter. My mom is a teacher, my one aunt is retired and my one aunt was a SAHM so they didn’t cut it for professional reasons.
There’s a reason elderly women almost all have bobs or pixies / similarly short hair…
Interesting observation! In my early fifties now – my hair has thinned with age/menopause, so it doesn’t look great long anymore without a lot of effort. Shoulder length or shorter keeps it from looking stringy.
I’ve never had particularly thick hair, and it definitely defaults towards stringy when it gets long. The longer it gets, the more I resemble my great-grandmother. In the Dust Bowl. During the Great Depression. Ditto on my gray hair – the pattern doesn’t make me look offbeat and cool, it makes me look like I’m about to start wringing out the wash on the porch on a very dilapidated house.
You made an observation, but I am unclear on the reason you cite for older women having shorter hair.
Gray hair has a coarser texture and tends to look unkempt when worn long, even if it’s colored. Once it goes gray shorter styles work better with the texture.
common misconception that grey hair lacks condition. arguably when you free yourself from dependance on hair colour products you may be delighted to find your hair in its best condition for years, There is a huge,and thriving, community of silverhaired women whose short,and flowing,locks are the envy of many
Natural gray hair looks lovely short but is often stringy when worn long.
I’m 53 and I have great long hair. it looks fabulous in me too.
who the f said this sh**?
“There’s a reason elderly women almost all have bobs or pixies / similarly short hair…”
Not elderly (yet), but at 46, my hair has thinned, and even with minoxidil (I’m using oral now after using topical for 2 years), my hair will never go back to being as thick or as strong as it was. My regrowth from minoxidil is extremely fine and the hair is not as strong, so I will never get my hair back to bra-strap length – it will pull out or break off before it gets that long. Right now I have a lob that’s about an inch below my jawbone, and that’s likely as long as it will ever be, going forward. And it’s taking a lot of work, hair products, vitamins, minoxidil and TLC just to keep it this long.
I’m late 30s with long hair. I usually tie it into a bun. I don’t feel it’s unprofessional, at all. For more formal events, I wear it down in waves.
My hair probably isn’t as long as the woman in the picture, but it’s definitely to my back bra strap.
How do you get a bun that doesn’t feel like it’s scalping you? The only thing I can do now that my hair is below bra strap is a half up claw clip or some sort of braid.
I find that using clips and bobby pins instead of hair bands helps. I use metal hair barrettes and long metal hair sticks most often these days. I also find that wearing the bun on the crown or mid back of the head is more comfortable than a low bun, but I know that high hairstyles like high ponys and buns can be controversial.
If your hair is healthy and styled, no one GAF about the length.
Agree. I think there’s way more bias against physique than hair so long as polished/styled.
I remember looking at a news article that had a photo of an older woman with a big Sarah Palin bouffant and long thin stringy hair past her shoulders and thinking, what kind of crazy is she. (It turned out it was a story about election deniers.)
I am a Black intellectual Woman that wears a pony tail. Women are more critical than men. My intelligence should not be judged by my hair style, but by my working ethics. I worked hard all of my life. I saw a older Author on Good Morning America this Morning that looked georgeous with long hair, was a designer to. I have self confidence and self worth.
I think extremes about appearance are what lead to something looking unprofessional, so extremely long hair does give a slightly unprofessional look to me. But most women in my office seem to have hair between shoulder and mid-back length, so I very much disagree with the 2009 guidance that nothing should be longer than shoulder length. Of course there’s exceptions to every rule, but in general, I think stopping around bra-strap length is a good rule of thumb.
My own hair was around mid-back length, and I just had it cut over the weekend (no change in style, just length), and I do have to say that I think it looks more professional.
Length is not a big deal; however, imho it needs regular trims to look polished. The model in the photo needs a significant trim as the ends are ratty looking.
One of the senior vice presidents in my company wears her hair long (below bra strap) and always straight, never up. It always looks polished and intentional, and I think that’s the big key, regardless of length.
My hair is currently almost as long as the woman’s in that picture… about belly button length. I’ve had very long hair and also quite short/androgynous hair as a lawyer. I think that my hair probably doesn’t read as perfectly professional as it did when it was shorter, but I’ve decided I don’t care.
I’ve been thinking about what will happen when I start going grey. Since I’m 37 I’m sure it’s coming for me, and I’m especially not sure what I’ll do about the probable texture change that will accompany it.
I recently went to a small medical conference. Lots of doctors, NP, pharm reps/sales.
I didn’t see a single woman with grey hair, nevermind long grey hair.
Except me.
shrugs
MD in the Midwest, major city.
Hello, from your internet sister with long, grey (or as grey as it naturally is) hair.
I’m 58 and have been WFH since I started my own consultancy in 2020. I used to wear a bob when I went into the office, which was mainly because hair going down into my neckline bothered me and I’d end up putting it in a claw clip if it was long enough to do that. I also carried a heavy tote daily and couldn’t (and still can’t ) stand it when the shoulder straps ended up pulling my hair.
Now that I’m not regularly going into an office my hair is a bit longer, touching the top of my shoulders. It still does end up in a claw clip a fair percentage of the time, but I don’t care as much, and I don’t carry the heavy tote anymore, so that’s no longer a problem.
I’m letting my gray grow out as well, so I have both the longer hair and grayer hair, and no, I do not seem like less of a professional in any way because of this.
Absolutely not. Please. This question is annoying and out of date.
There are at least two women appellate court judges in NY that immediately came to mind who have very long hair and wear it down frequently. I don’t think it’s per se unprofessional anymore. That said, it’s just a reality that not everyone’s hair is going to look good long as they get older and knowing what suits you and what doesn’t is probably the most important factor in looking “professional.”
My impression is that older women DGAF about hair and shorter hair is lower maintenance. That, at least, is the reason my mom gave for cutting her hair. It’s been since I was a tween, but I’ve had short hair then and since then longer hair. I think longer hair and no bangs is much easier maintenance. I get a trim every few months and wear it in a low ponytail many days. When I get it cut too short and can’t just pull it back it drives me crazy, and shorter hair does require more regular trims because when your hair is short to start with a half inch really gets to be changing the shape. Or if it’s just bangs it gets in your face too much.
Yes, longer hair with no bangs is much, much easier maintenance.
Short hair – especially the very short hair that many older women are told by society they should have, to disappear into the background – is much harder to maintain. To keep my pixie cut, I needed a trim at least every 6 weeks. I had to wash it every morning, and blow it dry, and style it. I had to look at it, adjust/fix dozens of times a day. I hated it. Who has the time/$?
As you get older, many women value their time/money more and what is truly important in life. I hate having hair in my face, on my neck in the summer etc… I love my long straight thick locks that I can pull back in a ponytail or put it up if I want to.
Always had short hair in my younger years,
I’m 70 now and have long hair.
Proud of it.
Many people don’t think I look 70, more like 50’s.
I have a golden blonde with gray in the front, that looks like highlights.
Fine thin hair beautiful in a bun, or set with beautiful waves.
Awesome! getting ready for a trim, thought about going shorter but always hated it…I’m almost 63 n proud of it and my hair!! Lol who decides who we are? Ourselves…💖
I am not a fan of the Fox News/White House staff 45 long curled hair + heavy makeup look. It’s unprofessional and perpetuates a working environment that is toxic to women. Otherwise hair length doesn’t matter as long as it’s neat and tidy.
“Not being a fan” is an opinion. Saying a woman’s choose to wear her hair long perpetuates the patriarchy is a unwelcome judgment. It’s 2023 – to each their own.
I absolutely agree with you on this! Kudos!
It’s not about the length. It’s about catering to the male gaze and pretending that it’s a form of empowerment. Long hair can be professional, but not as part of that overall look.
for me, cutting my hair as I aged had more to do with my nonstop hot flashes than any fashion concern. I needed to have a lot less of my thick hair to ventilate and keep from turning into a sweaty mess at work. now, that wouldn’t look professional with any length of hair!
As a hairstylist and on my late 40s, I can say that, it’s not what other people thinks is right, appropriate or wrong. it’s about how you can manage your hair in the daily basis. How much time you really want to spend doing your hair when you may have a busy schedule? Normally, woman may decide to go short with their hair because it’s thinning and texture is changing or is just hard to blowdry/ style it while still long. There is not a rule that it should be short or long. The only thing it matters is that you should feel comfortable and beautiful with how you wear your hair, regardless of length either long,shoulders or pixie cut. Just wear your hair whatever way it makes you feel amazing.
I’m a stylist and 49 years old. My hair is past my waist. I pull it up a lot because I choose to, but I have so many more options this way, and it takes me far less time than when it’s shoulder length (5 mins vs an hour). When it’s shorter I have to flat iron daily. at this length I just brush it out, even when I’m wearing it down.
The adage that women should cut past a certain age is certainly a norm in my grandmother’s generation. When I was 30 she told me women over 30 need short hair to which I replied “Jane Seymour haa long hair and is in her 60s”. That same grandmother decided late in life to grow hers and when she passed at 90 in May it was to her waist in beautiful silver curls.
I always say You do you, Boo Boo. Long hair even past the waist can be beautiful and professional.
This seems like a very dated conversation. I’m not a fan.
Wear what looks best on you, suits you, and suits your lifestyle regardless of your age. Why do you care about these dated rules?
My hair is too my butt, am 65 yrs old , it is considered GodsGlory. it’s thick and must say beautiful, age doesn’t matter if you take care of yourself what’s the problem!? Most women my age don’t have enough hair to keep it long. And again I stress it’s GodsGlory:)
I am 74 years old and have thick blonde/gray hair. I live in a senior community. There are only 3 or 4 of us with hair halfway down our backs. Sometimes I wear it curly, sometimes straight and sometimes up in a ponytail or clip. Unlike short hair, I have choices in how I wear my hair. I get many, many compliments when I wear it down. I can hardly wait for it to be totally gray. I don’t fight getting older. I embrace it. It’s one thing to look as if you are taking great strides to look younger, but I prefer to look younger naturally. If you try to fight Mother Nature, you will always lose. I can confidently say I am not a loser.
Old woman here, hair to my waist. I work as a paramedic and get so many compliments from patients. I usually wear it in a side braid, so does my mother who is 80. She braids her hair to the side and is stunning! Yes,I copied her! We both wear our hair down occasionally and have fun styling it.
Cut my hair short… NEVER!
The reason that I now have longer hair at age 64 years is because after immigrating to the USA a few years ago, I realized I could only afford to have my hair cut every 3 or 4 months unlike every 6 weeks- and to keep short hair styled it definitely needs a cut every 6 weeks.
Do I like my hair longer? Not really but I stick it in a ponytail and it’s out of the way. I work in the schooling system so the children don’t care.
Do what makes you happy long hair can be styled in many ways.
I just turned 70 and my hair is just above my waist. It is naturally golden brown and I do not color it. i thought about cutting it but my husband loves it long. I love being able to pull it up into a fluffy ponytail or bun just for fun.
I have always preferred longer hair. When I was 6 yrs old, my mom cut my hair into a pixie because *she* liked the style. I cried for days. I’m now growing out hair colour and will embrace the salt-and-pepper that’s growing in. My hair is in a bob to recover from a very bad haircut (that’s another story), but I intend for it to be between shoulders and mid-back.
I am 80 and love my long hair. Never had so many compliments 😂
My two cents on why waist-length hair does not look professional is because waist length hair is rarely in good condition. For hair to have grown to that length, it’s gone through so much. Even if you don’t color or perm your hair, it’s gone through daily wear and tear. And at that length, it has tangled so much. And, it tangles on a daily basis. It’s building up static, it’s getting tangled in the fibers of your clothes, it’s getting damaged by rubbing against the back of your chair, etc. How often have you seen someone in real life with waist length hair that actually looks tamed, sleek (no tangles of fuzz balls), and is not encroaching on someone else’s space? It only looks good when it has just immediately been brushed for that photo opp. Any length hair only looks good when it’s in good condition. Finally, unless you’re very tall, it’s just disproportionate to your body length.