ByElizabeth Hours Updated
Comments 331 Comments

Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Long Relaxed Blazer

I love a long blazer for a pulled-together but comfortable look. This long, relaxed blazer from Eloquii would be great to throw on over a T-shirt and leggings on a WFH day, or wear with a blouse and some skinny pants for a business casual look.

This powder blue color is a great almost-neutral — I would wear it navy or camel, but if you’re feeling bolder, it would also look great with cherry red.

The blazer is $119.95 at Eloquii and comes in sizes 14–24.

Talbots has an option in misses, petite, plus, and plus petite sizes for $169 with 30% taken off at checkout.

Sales of note for 12.5

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

331 Comments

  1. Has anyone successfully attended a full time graduate program while also working full time? My desired masters programs are never the type to be developed for “working professionals.” I’m looking at attending a traditional program where the students typically don’t work and the majority of classes are offered during the day, but I’d get by by registering for the few that are offered late afternoon and evening (I looked up the course schedules for several semesters back and it’s doable). It’s at Columbia, if that matters, and I’d be transferring offices and relocating for it.

    1. I think your success lives and dies based on the support of your team. I was literally 2 blocks away from classes when I tried to take some master’s courses and my boss HATED letting me leave ‘early’ (it was 15 minutes early btw) to get to class. If your immediate supervisors/team are supportive I think it’s easily workable but I think it’s harder to get that support if the program is seen as not a ‘value add’ to your day work. For example – I’ve seen lots of support for friends in financial services studying for their CFAs/accounting firm friends getting CPAs/mid-level ppl getting MBAs in ‘business’ etc.

    2. I did a JD/MPP program while working 10 hours a week during the academic year and full-time during the summers, commuting 2 hours a day, and raising an infant. I would think long and hard about what you are proposing to do. Both a non-student job and school are much more manageable without fixed external constraints. It’s difficult to have to leave the office at a fixed time in the afternoon for class. It’s difficult not to be able to make it to office hours or study groups. Full-time work plus a full-time courseload adds up to at least 12 hours a day, 5 days a week. How will you find time to study and write papers? Will you have to give up exercise and healthy eating? Do students in the program typically get a summer internship between year 1 and year 2, or a part-time internship during year 2, that builds skills and/or leads to a full-time job at graduation? What other networking and career development opportunities will you be missing out on while you’re at work?

      I was able to make a part-time “real” job work during law/grad school because I was hired into a full-time post-graduate position while still in school. My employer wanted me to start right away and made special arrangements to make this possible. During the academic year it was understood that school was my top priority. Absent this type of unicorn situation, the only job I can see being compatible with full-time grad school is an internship or position designed especially for students.

      1. I would like to do an MBA while working full time, b/c I will be the manageing partner next year if the manageing partner actually retires. So I want to know if others in NYC have done this while working full time? I don’t think I want to take more then 2 courses each sememster.

        Are there good programs for me that do the MBA? I wonder if I can get MBA credit for my legal experence? The manageing partner says I should look at NYU and Fordham, tho Fordham is on the West Side, and NYU is downtown, but closer. Are there others I can take, even virtually?

        Help is appreciated! Thanks in Advance! YAY!!!

    4. Would your employer be willing to adjust your work schedule to fit around your class schedule?

      I did this years and years ago, when I worked at a pharmaceutical manufacturing company and went to graduate school in library and information studies. Luckily my company already had an option in place for a 4/10 work schedule. Before graduate school I had a 4/10 schedule M-Th, so I had a three day weekend each week. When I started graduate school, I adjusted my work schedule every term to accommodate one full day of classes; this was possible because each class met only once per week. For example, in the first term my work schedule turned into 4/10 M, Tu, Th, F because I had a full day of classes on Wednesdays. It involved a lot of compromise, because I limited the classes I chose to the same day each week; I was disappointed for a few terms because I could not take a class that really interested me, purely because it did not match my work schedule.

      Everything worked out great for me because 1) I hated my pharmaceutical job and put in the minimum amount of effort, 2) I was really committed to becoming a librarian and had the energy to work 10 hours daily plus do coursework/homework. I also worked as a library assistant every Saturday and Sunday. After a year I quit my pharma job to go to graduate school full time (it is a two year program), and I never looked back. I manage a hospital library now and love my job.

    5. I don’t see how this is manageable. I know plenty of professionals who have worked while getting their master’s degrees (not executive programs) — but they spread it out over many years instead of during the traditional time frame. And there was a very clear payoff to having the degree, or they wouldn’t have done it at all. Even then, it was a massive strain on both time and energy.

    6. If your program is a traditional masters at a traditional school, make sure you have buy-in from the department and especially your advisor regarding working full time. I did this for my undergrad and my department Did. Not. Get. It. They were completely unsympathetic to the idea of needing to schedule things more than a day in advance, not having semester breaks available as free time, etc.

      1. Your department may outright forbid work other than an assistantship, especially during the first year.

    7. I started my LLM at NYU while working FT, but having to commute in a significant distance from the Princeton area (work), which was maybe half an hour from where I lived. Many LLM students work, but commute from within midtown jobs, so I was an outlier on that front. Work was incredibly accommodating and on-board, but having to leave early 1x/week (fall/spring semesters) and 2x/week (summer sessions — OMG that was so rough on me) was all I could manage each time. It was a slog to get to the 24 credits needed to graduate. Luckily, I already knew a lot of the material and only a few courses were truly sequential. IDK how the commute time to Columbia is — NYU looked easy, but all it took was one Giants game for traffic getting around Hoboken to snarl for getting in or home. I contemplated moving to the city, but couldn’t afford any place I liked, so I paid in time vs paying in $.

    8. I actually know someone who just graduated from Columbia who did this (MPA). His DC job let him work remote – it was a challenge, but he is a ‘work all the time’ guy, and wanted to move to NY for personal reasons anyway – it was either let him work from a distance or he would quit, and his boss didn’t want to lose him.

      So, it can be done, but it’s hard, and it’s dependent on your job’s willingness to be flexible.

    9. There is a reason why people quit their jobs to go to grad school full time. It really depends on the field. If you are attempting a program that is life or death, i.e., mental health, nursing, you would need to be 100% all in. I would not want my children being seen by a therapist who was distracted during training. It’s also doing yourself a disservice by not fully immersing yourself in the program, you are paying to be there after all.

    10. I found it completely unworkable, to the point that I chose a completely different degree (an MS over an MA). This was prior to remote work and remote learning, so maybe things have changed, but I found liberal arts programs to be elitist and inflexible as a whole. Tech and business programs are much more grounded in reality.

    11. I would never try to do this for many reasons. And you’re going to limit yourself so much during a short program if you can’t take most of the classes.

    12. I did half a master’s degree in marriage and family counseling (quit halfway through for a variety of reasons including that I couldn’t figure out how to do the practicum hours while working) while working full time and it was stupidly hard. Like, literally I had no time for anything other than work and school. And this was a touchy-feely grad program and a reasonably 9 to 5 day job. I’m not saying what you’re proposing is impossible, but I am saying you won’t have any time for ANYTHING other than work and school and you need to be prepared for that.

    13. yes, but my job wasn’t all that hard and the classes for my grad program were easy to schedule around – lots of evening classes, courses offered several times over the program. I got an MHA while working at a hospital.

      My husband did year 1 of his MBA while working 30 hours/week at his previous job (as an engineer) as well.

      Pros: get it all done, save/earn a ton of money
      Cons: work all the time, no social life, miss out on any social benefits of the degree program (eg. at least half an MBA is networking- this is why DH stopped working after his first year– that, and he got a full summer internship)

      I did a LOT of my schoolwork at my desk at work (arriving at 7am for work that started at 9, staying past my 5pm end time to do work before heading to a 6:30pm class), and spent most weekends working on schoolwork.

    14. I got an MBA while working FT. I was in a “part time” program that allowed you to take however many credits you wanted (average time to complete was 3.5 years). I did it in 18 months. I used all my vacation time to make the few day-time classes I had work, and it was only doable because my husband took care of EVERYTHING around the house (we don’t have kids, but vet visits for our pets, managing any work that had to be done on the house, taking the car in for oil changes, all the cooking, etc.). It was hard on our marriage, and I ended up really burned out by the end of it. That was a few years ago now, and I’m glad I did it, but… be aware of how difficult it will be.

    15. I worked full time during my masters (public policy). Honestly it was EXHAUSTING, and I was a spry 24 year old. Keep in mind that grad school isn’t just your time in a seat in class. It’s also researching and writing papers and lots of reading. Working while in school was my only option, because I support myself financially, but I was tired and also missed out on the networking bonding and fun that comes with being able to spend time with fellow students outside of class. I basically had time to work, do grad school, see my boyfriend on weekends, and get groceries.

      1. I had a similar experience, but had the benefit of taking mostly night classes so I didn’t have as much work-schedule juggling as someone taking day classes would. It still limited my opportunities. I still remember that there was a field trip to a cool practitioner’s office a few hours away — the school arranged it at no cost, but it conflicted with a big thing at work so I missed out. It also was really tough from a calendar perspective because that feeling you get when the semester ends and you can just crash? You can’t do that if you still have to get up and go to work.

        Even still, I was only make it work because I had a job I could do in my sleep and allowed me to put most of my energy into learning. I read ALL THE TIME and was never caught up in class. My husband did everything around the house. We ate a lot of takeout. It was still more than 5 years before I could read for pleasure again. It was absolutely worth it but really really really hard.

    16. Could you email the department head to see if part-time is an option? In my graduate program, the official line on the website was full-time only, but the department was willing to make exceptions for committed students.

      In general, though, I think part time work + part time school is feasible. Full time work + full time school sounds like a recipe for burnout.

    17. I have a friend who did an MPH in 2 years while working full time. His boss was very supportive but he said it was very rough.

    18. What degree is this? If it’s SIPA or CBS I’d really caution against this.

    19. I think it depends on the academic field and how easy learning comes to you. I worked 20 hours a week during regular FT law school and it wasn’t particularly hard.. I was still going out 2-3 nights a week and working out every day.. I also made my outlines during class and mostly just studied an hour here or there between classes. Some of my classmates definitely made law school a full time job in and of itself though. Law school was pretty easy for me but I still don’t think a full-time job would have been doable.
      On the other hand, my best friend did her MBA a few years back and was surprised how easy it was and spent most of her time socializing and going on trips. She probably could have worked full time if she needed to. My sister recently did a masters while working full-time (liberal arts). She rarely talked about it and it didn’t seem to be a big deal. These were all top-25 type schools, not Columbia level.

  2. Do you have a Nintendo Switch? If so, are there any games you like to play? Husband received one as a gift. I haven’t played video games in decades, but am open to trying some. All recommendations are welcome, but I think I would be most interested in games that involve an element of stratgey or that husband and I can play together.

    1. My 14-year-old is into Legend of Zelda, which has strategic quests to complete and can be played with a friend. She likes to play Mario Kart with her dad. She also likes Animal Crossing, but that’s just a world-building type of game and doesn’t involve much strategy.

      I find all of the games deadly boring and frustrating. I have to do chores and cook food and keep clients happy in my real life. I do not want to have to forage for virtual food or keep fictional hotel customers happy during my leisure hours. I’d rather read a book. The only video game I ever enjoyed was Wii Ski on our old Wii because it was easy to learn and didn’t last long.

    2. Yes. So many games. For games you can play together: I love Overcooked 2, Super Mario Party, and Cuphead. Maddening at times, but so fun.
      For strategy-type games, I have a lot more recommendations. I typically play a lot of RPGs harkening back to the Final Fantasy games of my childhood. So far I’ve really liked: Ni No Kuni (artwork by artists from Studio Ghibli and it’s GORGEOUS), Octopath Traveler, Breath of the Wild, and Bravely Default.

      2. I LOVE Overcooked 2 – I think it’s a game you either love/hate (for some friends, strategizing about cooking/cleaning with spouses got too real). Would also recommend civilization 6 if you’re into strategy (it’s sort of a risk/sims hybrid?). Not a two player game but my husband and I will still play together in terms of strategizing, even if one person is “driving.” Mario Odyssey is also fun to play as a two-player game.

        And of course classics like Mario Kart, Zelda, etc. I didn’t love the Donkey Kong reboot for switch, but if you loved that game as a kid may be worth a reboot.

    3. I am just starting up again, after not playing video games for over a decade. I will let other people give specific game recommendations, but I will plug your local library as a resource. We check out games, and only buy if we love it.

    5. Grew up with Nintendo.. Love Zelda Breath of the Wild, graphics are beautiful and it’s a fun game. Also love Mario Bros U. Both are nostalgic for me but also really fun. Mortal Combat, Mario Odyssey and Fire Emblem also look good.

    6. Yes! My SO and I purchased one to play in our downtime – although he plays it much more frequently. (Me, almost never, I’m think I lack the dexterity for video games.) I did enjoy The Legend of Zelda, and, am super exited to try Dr Mario (via a pack of “old” Nintendo games via the online service – the difference in graphics is wild!)

      We’ve had the most use out of jackbox. We’ve purchased multiple game packs and play frequently with our friends via zoom calls (using one laptop to show the TV and one to soon face to face.) 10/10 recommend

      1. I have a PlayStation (actually, it’s my SO’s), and I loved Untitled Goose Game!! I also am a huge fan of Stardew Valley.

    9. I am a newbie gamer but have really gotten into enjoying breath of the wild, splatoon, starred valley, baba is you (more puzzle-y), toad’s puzzle game, Mario kart, super Mario world (the one you play with groups, we bust this out at dinner parties), and Luigi’s mansion!

  3. I am in need of a closet clear out and feel in the zone for it this weekend, even though I’m not so happy with my weight gain the past year. I need to swap my winter clothes for summer and I think I’ve got a lot more clothes than I need. I’ve WFH for years now and I think I need less ‘nice tops’ and nice casual clothes as I’m in leggings mon to Friday so it’s really only weekends. Part of me thinks I need 2-3 tops/blouses for with jeans for sitting at breweries etc plus some nice tshirts and third pieces and that’s it! But that would be way less than what I have currently? I live in a moderate wet climate so I’m excluding hot hot weather clothes from this as usually only wear abroad.

    1. Sounds lovely to me. I tend to try to have about 10 short sleeves, 10 long sleeves, and some pants and shorts and dresses, at any one time. This works GREAT for me. My sister and mother are horrified because they find it too few clothes. But with some creativity that means I can last a 2 week stretch any time without doing laundry, and it’s so many fewer clothes to think about!

    2. I did a major closet cleanout last fall. It was mostly work clothes, but I think you are right about quantity. You really don’t need much. I always think I need new/better jeans, but the fact is I only where them on weekends (and occasionally to work) so I really only need two pairs. But I am someone who doesn’t want more choice for things like this. It has been so liberating to have fewer options, less to care for, etc.

    3. I literally just did this last night. After years of having a huge wardrobe, these days I am more into having fewer clothes but having each piece be something that I truly love and am excited to wear. I still have a bigger wardrobe than most people (partly a function of being older than most people so I’ve been buying clothesl longer!) but I got rid of five big bags of stuff and I feel great about what’s left.

      So I say go for it!

    4. I’m contemplating a different sort of cleanout this weekend as well. My WFH wardrobe is quite different from my office and frequent travel wardrobe from before. I will still need some outfits for conferences and external meetings, but I will be largely WFH for the foreseeable future.

      My plan is to try on my favorite conference outfits and get those dry cleaned (I will admit they’ve sat in my closet for a year uncleaned – did anyone know this was going to last a year at the beginning?) and put them at the back of my closet.

      The center of my closet, which has always been blouses, jackets, skirts, and pants for work will have to become tops, tees, cardigans, jeans, and casual pants for WFH.

      I am not sure what to do with the tons of work clothing I have that I am starting to think I won’t wear again. I’m sure everyone is in a similar boat. I don’t want to have to re-buy it all if everything changes again. But I don’t see myself WFH wearing a sheath dress or a pencil skirt any time soon.

    5. Don’t forget to think about the fact that at some point you might go on vacation and want more than 2 days of nicer casual clothes. Depending on what kind of vacations you like to take, I would factor that in.

    6. Somethings I get rid of immediately. A few items I keep in a staging pile which I intend to get rid of but I’m not 100% sure yet. Bottom line – if it’s been sitting in the staging pile for several months and I haven’t thought about it or needed it, off goes, and I feel a lot more confident about my decision.

  4. Can someone help me update my summer sandals? My ride-or-die for the last decade+ has been Rainbow flip flops. They only take minimal breaking in, accommodate my wide forefoot, the cushioning is supportive for walking literally miles at a time on concrete, they’re easy to just kick on and off, and the n-de-for-me leather makes them flattering to my relatively short legs.

    I do have Birks but sometimes you don’t want to be wearing Birks… and oddly despite trying a number of strap holes, they will give me a blister on the top of my foot when walking long distances. (I often get blisters on my big toe or its joint; for this reason, sandals that are a th0ng style are always the best fit on me.)

    Part of me says IDGAF my feet are happy, and part says “the unicorn update must be out there, you don’t need to be a 2005 sorority girl forever.” Help?

    2. Eh, I feel like happy feet are better than spending money on shoes which might not work for you. I don’t know if I’ve ever paid loads of attention to someone’s summer shoes, unless they were wearing something really outlandish.

    3. What style of Birks do you have? I wouldn’t give up on Birks just yet if all you have is the Arizona or another style without something between the toes. If you are a flip-flop person, you might prefer the Mayari or the Gizeh depending on your foot shape. Given your big toe issues I’d start with the Gizeh, although it doesn’t work for all foot shapes.

      If you really want to get spendy with flip-flops, check out the Beek Seabird or the leather styles by Olukai.

      1. Thanks! I did try the Gizeh but unfortunately it didn’t work for me; it would have been perfect but the large shape of the leather at the toe connection was a mismatch for how my toes bend! Wish they would make that exact style but with leather that just narrows straight into the th-ng.

        1. It might be worth trying the Mayari, even though it has a toe loop. I hated the Gizeh but have walked as much as 12 miles a day in the Mayaris.

    4. We may have the same foot and body! I recently purchased the Keen Elle to look slightly (truly slightly) more polished and to give a little lift. I have not worn them outside yet, but they seem comfortable walking around the house and a little more put together than my usual flip flops. (I also like the Born Mai.)

    5. I can’t wear Birks either, I have tried one or two styles and I either got a blister from the straps, or a blister/pain on the bottom of my foot since the material was too hard. I also just don’t love the look.
      What are you looking to wear them with? For sundresses and minimal walking I usually just get a pair of strappy sandals or wedges. We live in New England, and my feet like Sperry’s, so I fully lean into the prep and just wear the A/O skimmers (a bit more feminine than the usual boat shoes) or a pair of their canvas sneakers – the platform ones with the bit of jute look really cute this year!
      At the beach I’m also still a rainbow flip flop girl – they just fit my feet well and feel good!

    6. I’m shocked that you have such good luck wearing flip flops for miles of walking, but if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it?

      1. This is one of those things that for me worked for a long time until one day it just spectacularly didn’t anymore and I can now no longer wear flip flops at all anymore without almost immediate foot pain. Aging is a b!tch.

    7. Munro Pisces! I wouldn’t wear them to a wedding, but they are awesome for life. I also have a wide forefoot and Born shoes are typically too narrow for me.

    8. Try naot sandals. They have some styles that are flat like the dorith, (I think this is the name) They are very soft on feet and have removable foot beds that can be replaced, but have major support. Try many different heel heights and styles as they all fit slightly differently.

        1. These are cute…I tried on the same or a similar style (in store) over a year ago and I recall them being very comfortable. I have various naot and no issues at all with any of the styles.

          1. Also want to add that I would travel internationally, I would always take a naot sandal as I could walk all day with them. I live in a walkable city and rotate runners and naot for my summer walks.

        2. I have never found Naots that work for my wide feet. The scaling down that makes them more graceful than Birks seems to extend to the footbed.

          1. Interesting. I wear Birkenstocks in the normal width, which is wide, (not N for narrow, which they consider a women’s width) and my only causal shoe is a Naot. I wear it with an orthotic and the width is fine.

          2. The not Kayla fits wider feet. My sister wanted this style and has narrower feet so she went with the pixie.

    10. Thanks everyone! Taking notes to look up the styles. (I promise I’m not wearing flip flops to formal summer occasions – this is for running city errands, walking to a brunch place that’s a mile or two away, etc.)

    11. For flip flops, my Reef’s hold up like iron and I definitely wear them for multiples of miles.

      1. Yep. Love my Reefs. I’ve had the same pair for ages and I often walk for miles. I have gone through 3 pairs of Reef Fannings since 8th grade and one of those pairs was because my mom decided they were trashed and threw them away. They were not. Still salty about this.

  5. I had my first vaccine yesterday (AZ) and while I felt like death for a few hours overnight, I’m so, so relieved to be getting closer to “normal” life. I was “early” because of existing health conditions and my husband is in the current age group so hoping his blue letter will come through the door (we just get assigned a time and location centrally). Then 12 weeks after that, we can see our parents!

    1. In Arizona? Isn’t everyone eligible there now, regardless of age or medical condition? Other than being above 16

      1. She means Astrazeneca. I believe Cb is somewhere in the UK. Their roll out is not as advanced as the US and its not just available to anyone who wants it. Most people are also having to wait 12 weeks for their second dose, instead of the recommended 3-4.

        1. Is 3-4 weeks just what the US landed on, not necessarily what the vaccine manufacturers and other countries are recommending?

          1. I believe the vaccines were trialed at 3-4 weeks. Other countries have increased the timing to get more first doses out to people.

          3. It becomes an ethics issue. I don’t have time to look up exact numbers so please use these numbers as placeholders for the conversation. Let’s say immunity after 1 dose is 60% and immunity after 2 doses is 90%. Is it better for public health to make sure everyone gets 1 dose before anyone gets their second dose? That assumes vaccine scarcity and rationing which we no longer have in the US, at least in my state. The clinical trials were done based on 3-4 weeks between doses depending on brand. Let’s say pushing that out to two months only drops efficacy to 85%. Is it better to have the majority of the country at 60% immunity and then 85% immunity? Does it matter what group they are in? Maybe the highest risk individuals get to 90% in the correct time frame and the rest of the world spreads it out so everyone can have their first dose at minimum. It’s a really interesting issue.

    2. I’m confused- haven’t vaccines been available to everyone for several weeks now? Why can’t your husband call and make an appointment?

      1. Because not everyone on this board lives in the US. Vaccine availability varies by country.

      2. Different states do it differently. In DC, everyone may be technically eligible, but here you can’t just make an appointment at a drugstore directly. Everything goes through the City’s registration system. So even though you are eligible, you still may have to wait.

        1. Yes you can. I booked several friends in DC directly through CVS. Moreover, you do not need to wait for a vaccine at all in DC now. If you want one, CVS has availability for Moderna or J&J in the next two hours.

        2. FYI, Arlington County county sites now has tons of walk in appointments with no residency requirement. Also check CVS in Arlington; they had a ton of J&J appointments about two weeks ago.

    3. Wow, you are early in the queue due to health conditions and you *just* got your first vax yesterday? Is demand there that high / supply so low? In other states, everyone I know who has had health conditions got vaccinated quite some time ago, and people who are in the regular category are already getting shot #2.

      1. Sorry, I had Astra Zeneca, I’m in the UK! Uptake is like 90% so it’ll take awhile to get through everyone.

          1. We’re far behind the US in rollout, but I think only 2 percent have declined so far, when they are invited to get the vaccine.

      2. One of the few downsides of national medicine is that the vaccines are benign distributed in order of need rather than eagerness here in the U.K..

        Signed, a 27 year old with extreme vaccine envy!

        2. They were distributed in order of need here too, we just did it much faster than you.

          1. That’s because a lot of the people who need the vaccines are refusing them.

          2. The percentage of the population vaccinated in the US and the UK are broadly similar, according to the NYT tracker. But vaccine hesitancy appears much much higher in the US. There are definitely debates to be had about efficiency – particularly as we move into the under 40s maybe it’s easier just to have people rock up, but I think the rollout in the UK has been fairly smooth and broadly fair. In comparison to the initial response, which was equally disastrous.

    6. Hooray and congratulations! That must be a great relief for you. I hadn’t realized that uptake rate was so high over there – good for the UK.

      1. Travelling Tabby does these great updates on twitter, something like 95-97% of all older age groups have been vaccinated. We’re not hearing about significant numbers declining to be vaccinated, although London seems to be a struggling to get to more marginalized communities.

  6. Another career suggestion thread.

    A young associate attorney reached out to me for advice and we are meeting for coffee on Saturday. The law firm he works for is shutting down its office in his city altogether, and none of the partners are taking him to their next place. He failed his first bar exam attempt unfortunately, so I don’t think another firm will hire him until he’s licensed.

    Job recommendations outside of firms? All I can think of is contract specialist/administrator.

  7. I always have trouble finding blazers that don’t make me feel like I look like a linebacker or like I am a fat girl in a little coat. I am more Apple than hourglass these days, which seems to make it hard to find dressy clothes that flatter me. Any tips?

    1. I have the same problem – I’m tall and large sizes often have smaller shoulders and bigger bodies so they’re both too small and too big. I find that BR tall sized blazers have a better cut in the shoulders. I also like the MMLF jardigan.

    2. I have a large chest and very narrow shoulders. The most flattering blazers on me are open front, collarless, and buttonless. For more formal suits, I buy a size higher than I would if I had a smaller chest, and wear open.

      1. I have broad shoulders and an average chest and these are also the most flattering on me. The JCrew Going Out Blazer is my favorite.

        1. Small-ish athletic frame with no curves here and this is also my best style. I think it’s universally flattering. I own five Going Out Blazers.

          1. Broad shoulders, straight figure (like the “filter” symbol in Excel) and I love this style too. The Kasper open-front blazer from Macy’s is my all-time favorite and it appears to be on sale for $30 today.

      2. Yes, collarless, open front and/or button-less are my most flattering style.

    3. I decided a few years ago to just stop wearing them. They look awful on me. When I need to look dressed up for work, I go Nancy Pelosi and wear a business dress with sleeves.

      1. Thank you. Yes. I’m a big girl, think Julia Child, tall with long arms and long legs but far from willowy. I feel like a man in a blazer and always have. I need a long, collarless style. Hard to find. When I do find one, I buy multiples.

    4. If you have the opportunity try a Talbots knit blazer (different from their sweater blazer). I find the amount of “stretch” in the fabric makes them fit me much better. They are a bit casual, but I have a couple in beautiful colours and would wear them for work in every setting except the most formal.

  8. Good friend and colleague (attorney) just got accepted to an LLM program and I want to get her something to celebrate. Thinking around $50. Any ideas?

  9. I know there was a thread with t-shirt dress recommendations recently (the last 30 days)? I thought I bookmarked it, but apparently I did not. Does anyone remember or know which day it was? There were maybe 10 separate responses to the recommendation request? Thank you in advance!

    5. You’ve asked this several times … maybe just go ahead & ask the question you have about the style of dress you want?

  10. I think I heard about Outlander here. I’m two episodes in and I’m into it except I hate when rape is used as a plot line. Does that continue throughout the show?

    2. Ugh, there was SO much rape. The show actually handles it WAY better than the books imho but I still couldn’t deal. I think I tapped out on the books around the fourth time they used the ‘lets strand Claire somewhere far far away from Jamie for….reasons…’ and then spend the rest of the book getting them back together again idea.

    3. Yeah, Diana Gabaldon is not the author for you. This is not something that I am very sensitive too and she uses rape so often that it really bugs me. Stop watching after Episode 7.

    4. There is a LOT of rape in each season. This is why I had to stop watching, despite the beautiful scenery and interesting character. Also, Claire gets annoying (in my opinion).

      1. Right? All the rape plus Claire being annoying was what finally made we stop watching. Also, I realize this is a time travel series so already far-fetched, but it kept getting farther fetched.

    6. Oh, there is SO much more of it. I made it to season 2 but had to stop watching because their hijinks became redundant and unbelievable. Claire continually refused to listen to wise counsel and rarely learned her “lesson” after calamity. It was presented as the trait of an independent woman rather than a fool and that bothered me.

    7. There is a lot of rape. Toward the end of the series– at least a few seasons in– there is a VERY brutal jail rape scene that I made DH turn off. I can take a lot but I could not take this. IDK what it was like in the book but wow, it was rough.

    1. I had to get out of bed to take my kids to school, but I am unshowered and wearing a giant college hoodie. It’s one of those days.

    3. Bravo. I’ve had one hell of a week so far, and I stayed in bed until 12 minutes before my first call this morning.

      1. glad to hear it’s not just me rolling out of bed at the last second. unlike all the people who’ve been using there lack of commute to exercise, etc., i use it to stay in bed more…

        1. Ditto. I now sleep from like 11 until 7; it’s going to be brutal when (if) I ever have to go back to an office. Doesn’t help that it’s gloomy and cold here (48 in May?!?!).

  12. I am making a conscious effort to eat better and I am shocked at not only how much better I feel, but how much better I look! Drinking lots of water and tea has been like a free facial I didn’t even know I was giving myself. Cutting out extra sugar cleared up my skin and got rid of the persistent puffiness that plagued me. I’m sure it’s subtle and only I notice, but since I have to stare at my face all day on zoom I’m happy about it. Figured I’d share for anyone else in the same boat.

    1. I don’t know if I look any different, but my persistent bloating has pretty much vanished since I started making a conscious effort to eat better. I really thought I was doing okay, but a few weeks of food tracking told a different story! I’m not on any special diet or cutting out food groups. I’m snacking less on crap and eating more fruits and veggies.

    2. Well, you can’t attribute any of the impacts to one change in particular if you made a lot of changes at once, but good for you nonetheless. Drinking enough water is so important for so many reasons.

      2. “Drinking more water” and “cutting sugar” are already evidence-based interventions for puffiness from water retention.

    3. I’m always shocked at how much better I feel when I eat better too…and then wonder why that’s never enough to make me continue to eat that way! Good for you!

    4. That’s great. I used to mainline berries and water days before a major event and I thought it really worked.

    5. I really cut back on sodium, and I’m amazed at how much of a difference it makes. I had no idea how much I was adding to my diet just through normal cooking, but I started tracking and it was … a lot. We don’t eat much processed food, so I assumed I was getting a small amount, but I was completely wrong.

    6. I understand that a lot of this is the luck of having good genes. That said, I am 39 and someone asked me last weekend if I also happened to be her age (26). Lots of water, fruit, and veggies, especially avocados.

  13. Denver neighborhood recs? I’m considering a move to Denver in the fall to my firm’s Colorado office. Most coworkers seem to start by renting in Highlands for a year or two (our commute is north out of the city) then buying further out. They are slightly older and more settled than I am though – all married, I am late 20s and single so I’m not sure if vibe is right in Highlands. Looking for walkable to great bars/restaurants/cafes/parks with folks my age around. Less worried about commute time because will not be in the office full time, also looking for value.

    1. I’m an attorney in Denver. Worked at my firm’s Denver office. Started living in the Highlands. I was late 20s. I could walk downtown to work, and easily walk to lots of good restaurants/bars/parks. Plus Coors Field, etc. Now I live in the south suburbs. You can’t go wrong in the Highlands–lots of young professionals, some married/coupled, some not. I’d also consider going farther afield. Lots of new apartment buildings on Speer downtown and on Broadway south of downtown. At the Broadway apartments, you could situate yourself walking distance to Wash Park which is a huge, beautiful park.

    2. Highlands/Berkeley/Sloan’s Lake is a good option but I think LoHi is probably more what you are looking for. Good value in Denver is not going happen right now.

    3. uptown or cap hill might also work for you! I just moved from Uptown and miss it already.

  14. If you have a J Crew #2 pencil skirt, when did you last wear it? I just looked at mine like a long-lost friend and I am wondering if she will be a fall item this fall or if fashion has moved past her. We had some good times, but the most recent outing might have been in 2019 in the fall. Are people still wearing pencil skirts? The only others I have go with suits (remember them?).

      1. Really? I know that was the height of popularity, but it’s a basic, classic skirt.

      2. Yup.

        I just might wear a longer pencil skirt a la Queen Letizia if I could find one to suit me, but definitely not the old above-knee No. 2.

      3. So maybe hold onto her — she’s probably due for a relaunch in a bit, maybe with her friends, the butterscotch patent wedges.

        3. Man, I had a pair of nude-for-me patent wedges that I wore to death. I miss those shoes.

      4. Yea…although I’m a little more generous and think it’s like 2015…in the odd chance I see someone wearing a skirt suit now it always reminds me of the polyester skirt suit my mom bought me from Macy’s when I started law school.

        1. What kind of suits are people wearing now? Like suiting separate pieces (vs the matched sets that you didn’t wear a blouse with b/c the jacket was always buttoned)? Or just pants + jacket?

          1. I wore suits exclusively pre pandemic and most women were wearing blazer plus sheath dresses.

          2. Nobody has worn a suit buttoned up without a top underneath in the last 30 years.

            The current look seems to be pants + jacket + top a la VPOTUS, or coordinating dress and jacket.

          3. +1 to 11:02. In settings where the men are in suits, sheath + blazer (sometimes matching, sometimes not) is the prevailing look for women.
            I haven’t worn a matching suit in… 4-5 years.
            (Not a courtroom attorney.)

          4. Oh, good. I love my sheath dresses and blazers. I haven’t been to an in-person meeting or inside a courtroom in 14 months and was afraid we were pivoting back to pantsuits.

          6. Oh hang on, 30 years is not right. I was the picture of professional dressing with my suit-with-no-shirt around 2000-2004.

          7. Hah! I was in law school in 2005 and all of the Lexis reps were in buttoned up suits + tube tops.

    3. I haven’t worn a skirt at all since last March, but until the pandemic is firmly in the past I do not intend to get rid of any of my classic pieces. My workplace is currently opening back up as more of us get vaccines and is easing everyone in with a jeans-casual dress code, but rumor is we will go back to more formal wear sometime this winter. I am not confident anyone will actually cooperate with that after months of working just fine in comfortable clothing, but I would hate to ditch that part of my wardrobe just to have to replace it all in a few months.

      1. This is where I am. I’m holding onto everything for now because I really don’t know how the dress code situation is going to shake out. I suspect all my more formal stuff will still get worn again at some point.

    4. In 2019 I was still wearing them with black tights and knee high flat boots. Have donated all the bright color versions as very 2011.

      1. Interesting — I couldn’t get them to look right with boots, but wore bare-legged and with low block-heel pumps (whatever Vara knockoff I could find). But I can’t wear longer skirts b/c I seem to have a wide stride when I walk (looking at you, Boden pencil skirts).

        I wonder what will happen to skirts once we are really back in the office. I feel like in the summer we will all get a pass on clothes and then after Labor Day, things may be different. Jeans seemed to have changed wildly since 2019 — office wear won’t change to that degree. But will be wearing kitten heels again? Platforms? I want to box it all up and yet I know I won’t have the time or $ or will to shop for 2021 fall clothes.

        1. Based on my office’s mood, we are quickly moving into the “are you clothed? OK IDGAF” stage. I don’t think anyone is going to be racing out to buy new office clothes.

    5. I’ve been in the office the whole time and still wear pencil skirts 1-2 times a week. But I’ll admit that I’m not all that concerned about what is “in” and don’t really have a lot of true female peers to compare myself to in my office. I’ve been trying to accumulate more dresses just because it’s easier, but I find pencil skirts much more flattering and comfortable than pants.

    6. Not J.Crew, but in 2019 and before, pencil skirts are a staple of my summer work wardrobe (casual office). Skirt, T, cardigan, sandals or wedges. I didn’t know this was a dated look, but I don’t think I care. The silhouette works for me.

      2. Agreed. Pencil skirts are classic. Hem lengths move around a bit but will repeat eventually. Also the hem length that works best on your body ratios may be different than what is peak trend. I have trouble finding sheath dresses that work, but can approximate the look with pencil skirt + top in same color.

      4. +1 I was in the office all through last year and wearing them. They flatter my body shape, they are easy to grab and go, and I don’t care if they are trendy or in fashion.

    7. I cleaned out my closet last night and said goodbye to the last of my wool pencil skirts. Ain’t nobody got time for that kind of nonsense any more. (I did keep my summer cotton patterned pencil skirts, though.)

    8. Pencil skirts that hit above or at the top of the knee just aren’t looking right to my eye these days. I got rid of all of mine. I also think we’re over the overly-tight silhouette where the skirt cups the underside of the rear end.

  15. tl;dr I’m having an ethical dilemma about whether to keep supporting a small business owner in my community and am curious how others would handle it. What do you do when supporting small businesses also means supporting owners with deeply conservative beliefs?

    I suspected that my hairdresser was politically conservative (she’s also the salon owner, so no huge shock there), but it was confirmed yesterday through some FB posts she made about yesterday’s local election results, along with some thinly veiled posts she made after the presidential election. She is following the city’s covid rules in her salon but clearly sides with the local anti-masking crowd and sees our continued mask mandate as government overreach. I feel slightly sick about this. I’ve been going to her for 12 years now, and not only does she do an awesome job on my hair, but we have a good rapport and I feel like I know her, and she knows me, vice versa. Although I wouldn’t say she’s a friend, through our conversations I would say that we have more things in common than not. She has never been anything but professional in person, and I truly wish I didn’t know this about her.

    Would you keep supporting a business owner whose political views you find repugnant? Or chalk this up to learning to maintain a relationship with someone whose views are different from your own? I suppose I could find another stylist but we live in a blue dot within a deep red state, so it’s almost guaranteed that someone new would have the same views as my current stylist. Or worse, honestly. If you’re living in a more liberal area, it’s probably very hard to understand this dynamic. I just … don’t love that someone with these views is getting plennnty of my hard-earned money every month. I could say the same thing about the small housecleaning business that we’ve used for 5 years. The owner runs a good business, and I’m happy with their work, but man, the owner has some very public political views that make me cringe HARD.

    1. If a business uses its platform to speak on politics, and I disagree, I don’t go there if I can avoid it. If they do not, but I happen to learn of their political beliefs, I’m comfortable continuing to use them. Like you, if I refused to do business with anyone politically different than me, I’d run out of options very fast.

      1. OP here. Thank you for making that distinction. In both cases, they are not using their businesses as a platform.

    2. maybe this makes me a selfish wench but I wouldn’t switch. I would however unfollow the people.

      1. This. So long as she has never said anything to you and follows the requirements in her salon, I would unfollow her on social media and chalk this up to something that you wouldn’t have ever known about her 10 years ago. A good hairdresser is hard to find.

    3. Let’s break this down. You’re an upper-middle class or upper-class leftist, who think that there is something repugnant about the political beliefs of blue-collar service workers, and further thinks that they are undeserving of her money despite providing outstanding services. Maybe you should actually tell them that to their faces. Let them provide their services to people who don’t use the word “repugnant” to describe their beliefs and don’t “cringe HARD” (such a classist phrase, btw – I’ve never heard a working-class person use it). Win-win.

      1. Also going to call out your classism on this: “I just … don’t love that someone with these views is getting plennnty of my hard-earned money every month.”

        You’re not talking about paying an accountant or an attorney. You’re complaining that your CLEANING SERVICE is getting, quote, “plennnty” of your “hard-earned money.” Just imagine a Republican saying that: you would be jumping down her throat for how housecleaners work their butts off scrubbing toilets and are entitled to earn a decent living without some rich doctor complaining they cost too much.

        1. In the case of a cleaning service, the service owner is taking a large portion of the amount OP is paying, and the blue collar workers who are actually doing the cleaning are getting paid … much less. There is nothing wrong with running a business, but I am not sure that the owners of a cleaning service are necessarily blue collar people, unlike building contractors where many times the owner comes in and does work on the job.

      3. OP here, and let’s be clear: I am certain that BOTH of these business owners earn a LOT more than I do. Our jobs are different but I am not looking down on “blue-class service workers.”

        1. I’m sure you have no idea if a housekeeper and salon owner make more or less than you do.

          1. Even if they make more now, they have physically demanding jobs. If you’re able to afford hair cuts and housecleaning, you’re likely in a cushy desk job that enables you to work until 70 if you want to; these women are going to be retired from physical exhaustion before then. As small business owners, they are divvying up their revenue to pay for health care and retirement; their companies don’t give that to them. There’s really no such thing as PTO when you cut hair or clean for a living, even if it’s for your own business.

      4. I was a blue collar service worker for my entire working life until about 4 years ago when I landed an office job. My political beliefs have always been center left as have many of my coworkers. We’re not rare, just seldom noticed and fairly used to not being listened to.

      5. Well she’s a small business owner, but still. Her business may have taken a serious hit from lock downs.

        I’ve been WFH for more than a year, making the same income as I did before the pandemic. But I know people working service jobs for small businesses whose finances have been hit badly and whose life plans have been derailed this past year. People went into debt to keep their living situation. People took on higher risk work to make ends meet (picking up groceries for people like me). People took massive pay cuts and worked anyway just to keep the business from folding altogether (sometimes off the books).

        For whatever reasons, the US did not work as hard as many countries to mitigate the effects of lock downs (nor did we actually implement serious containment strategies that may have made the sacrifices seem worth it to skeptics). Many people on either side of America’s political divide see the other side as the party that caters to the wealthy and increases the wealth gap. And the disinformation campaign surrounding the pandemic was like nothing else I’ve ever seen before; it was overwhelmingly extensive and wormed its way into many communities that previously had nothing to do with politics or medicine.

        If her abhorrent political views are currently focused on being unhappy about mask mandates (while still complying with them!) I think you’re doing fine.

    4. You don’t have a problem with her actions, so no: don’t switch. IDK if she knows your feelings but if she did, she kept on being available to cut your hair.

    5. Speaking as another blueberry in a cherry pie, I think the answer depends on how you feel about the increasing polarization of our culture. There is merit to associating with people who hold different values and beliefs than you. Will I socialize with my neighbor proudly flying a C on fed erate flag? No. But I will chat with my other neighbor who’s a loud and proud Tr ump supporter at the mailbox. This extends to the (hypothetical) businesses they own. I see the difference as one based on class and education – are their politics driven by animus for the other or are they likely a product of their local culture/limited education and life experiences? My husband’s working class family is largely unvaccinated/unmasked/supportive of 45 – none of them went to college or left their rural hometown, pop. 15,000. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t value to their life experiences or opinions. A simple, “Oh, Jill, let’s not talk politics – it’s too distressing. Did you [change topic]?” can go far. Just my two cents. Good luck walking this line – I know it’s a fine one.

      1. Im all for bridging the political divides but if that’s the goal probably better not to say that everyone on the other side is just lacking education if that’s the goal.

          1. My husband and I have doctorates from top schools and vote Republican. Just because you have a “sizeable advantage” doesn’t mean that you have everyone. Which you would know if you learned anything at all while at college.

        2. Yup, so much this. If you assume people who disagree with you politically are that way because they’re uneducated and uncultured, you are part of the problem.

    6. I tend to go full on math for these. You have limited energy. Can you do more for the people and policies you support by investing the energy in finding a new business to support, or by putting that energy somewhere else?

      Some considerations as you calculate: cutting people out of your life for political views may decrease cross-pollination and increase polarization, and the country is extremely polarized right now (538 has good charts on this). What if you’re the one liberal who shows her we are not all what Tucker Carlson paints her as? Does that do any good? Similarly, is this a person who regularly acts on racist etc. views such that you are horrified by their business? Do you feel like you are compromising a piece of your self and thus it’s draining energy to go there?

    7. In this particular situation I’d have safety concerns about having a potential antivaxxer and/or antimasker cutting my hair or cleaning my house. I think you are right to be concerned about the probability of finding anyone more compatible, though.

      I dropped a plumber after their crew arrived at my door maskless, put shoe covers on their faces when I asked them to mask up, then wore the masks I gave them under their noses.

      1. That’s where I’d land. Safety first.

        I hired a plumber during the surge and I was so nervous about him coming here but it had to be done. He was more afraid of us than we were of him, and that’s saying a lot. He wore a mask and a full face shield. That’s the kind of business I want to give my money to.

    8. is she vaccinated? if she is anti-vax i’d definitely stop going. i’m like you – i live in Houston and it is hard. i just got my first haircut in over a year and not totally sure of my person’s politics, but i do know she is vaccinated

      1. In my city, some people are anti-vax, but multiples of them are vaccine-hesitant, mainly poorer and minority neighborhoods when sorted by zip code. My rich zip code is mainly older people and healthcare workers and is the most vaccinated in the city. Excluding people based on vaccine status may backfire on your wokeness. I feel with more caring outreach (vs lecturing outreach), hesitant people are coming around slowly. Our antivaxxers are generally rich white people who are sloppy hippies — shopping at whole foods, drinking organic beer, and getting medical advice from Jenny McCarthy and the interwebs.

        1. There’s a difference between “excluding people based on vaccine status” and avoiding prolonged close contact, such as a haircut, with an unvaccinated person.

          In my observation regular antivaxxers and COVID antivaxxers are not the same people.

          1. I agree with your last sentence and the truth of it really bugs me. I’d have preferred perfect overlap, as 1 antivaxxer is to many. Now it seems to have doubled and I’m hoping it’s limited to COVID, but measles and the like are still very serious diseases. [As is cervical cancer, which we now have a vaccine for that isn’t perfect, but better than nothing.]

        2. Thank you for addressing this. I volunteer with a low income health care clinic. We have staff that are very vaccine hesitant. The majority of them are women of color. Our board was pretty upset by our numbers and wanted to make the vaccine mandatory (sidestepping all legal arguments here for this discussion.) Our medical director gave a quick great history lesson about how the medical community has not been kind to our country’s minority population and how their hesitancy, while unfortunate, is rooted in very real justified fear.

          I need to do more research on this though. I’m curious if the historic incidents referred to involved treatments / vaccines only aimed at their communities. Here, everyone is taking the same thing so I don’t see how one can be concerned their population is being targeted as a guinea pig. That said, we also have particular “underserved vaccine clinics” that are targeting a particular population and I could see how they may be leery of such outreach.

          1. This is a patient safety issue. The clinic is putting patients at risk by allowing unvaccinated staff in contact with patients.

          2. It’s also hard to trust people who lie or bully. Unfortunately our local hospital uses quotas for childhood vaccine distribution, and health care providers can be very pushy and not always truthful in their efforts to keep numbers up. They also don’t always follow best practices (for example, they aren’t always supposed to vaccinate babies who are there for a sick visit for something like a fever as opposed to a check up, but the pressure is to take the opportunity when it presents itself). Some providers also lie about what tests they’re running (saying they’re checking something else when really they are running a drug panel). Maybe that’s standard practice, but it certainly doesn’t encourage trust.

          3. I realized after posting that this could sound hostile to the low income clinic. I was thinking of our big local hospital system where I think low income patients are stigmatized. I assume things may be better at good low income clinics? But I also don’t know what the “underserved vaccine clinics” are like.

          4. I understood what you meant and you are very right. Our federal funding is tied to meeting certain metrics.

            As for an underserved vaccine clinic, it may be mobile in a neighborhood that typically doesn’t have cars and there is a lack of good public transportation. So, it is hard for residents of that neighborhood to travel to a vaccine site. They bring the vaccine site to that neighborhood.

      2. agree. My sister got Covid from an anti-vax neighbor who is also a dental hygenist. The whole dental office had to be shut down because 80% of the staff tested positive. Imagine how many patients they infected before they tested.

    9. This is why I live in a deep blue area. If you don’t, I think it’s pretty hard to make your dollars talk.

    10. I went through a similar thought process with my son’s math tutor – not a long-standing relationship, but she has helped him immensely. I suspected she was far more right-leaning than I am, and I happened across some of her FB posts in community groups that confirmed it. I wish I didn’t know that, but now that I do … eh. It’s not like she’s giving him math problems like “If Sleepy Joe brings 20 fake ballots …”

    11. Liberals are so whiny and awful. I fully support your right to choose a different business based on the owner’s political beliefs though. We will do the same.

      3. Lol imagine supporting a party that’s having a meltdown over President Biden picking a flower for Dr. Biden and calling the other side whiny and awful.

        1. Let me whine for a second, i went to vaccine.gum and i didn’t get a vaccine OR any gum? Can Dr. Biden help me?

    12. Political views do not factor into the small businesses I deal with at all, but I also don’t know what they are. I deleted FB in part because of this dynamic – why do I need to know my hair stylist’s political views?

      A major factor is that I do not fit neatly into any political group, so I am always interacting with people who disagree with me about something major. The people working at the radical vegan coffee shop are likely way to the left of me. The old guy who owns the neighborhood hardware store is likely way to the right of me. My friends are to the left and right of me. I do not practice the same religion as many of my favorite people. I can’t imagine living any other way.

      1. I largely agree with this. I’m simply not comfortable with categorizing people into “good” and “bad” boxes based on whether they align with my exact views. I too don’t fit neatly into a political group, but I strive to be professional and kind to everyone I meet. That’s all I ask for from small businesses I frequent. I would, however, draw the line at extreme behavior like restaurant owners that post signs saying “no masks allowed in here.”

      2. I often think that I am the only Republican (or more: socially liberal and fiscally conservative and Ds are too far to the left and Libertarians are not going to win elections, so that leaves R where sometimes I think my sold purpose is to weed out idiots in primaries) person some of my friends break bread with. And often I’m the only working mom at my job. I live in a big city where Ds will always win local elections (so I’d like to vote in their primaries, but that’s not allowed) but the state is pretty purple and more like me in sentiment than either party is currently. I am always the outlier. If I was only with people like me, I’d pretty much be alone.

        1. I am the only _____ my friends interact with, and the blank depends on the friends!

        2. i personally have no issue with republicans who have more conservative views, but i do take issue with Trump supporting republicans. to me there is a big difference. for example, i wasn’t necessarily such a fan of the Bushes when they were in office, but I have a lot of respect for them, especially over the past year.

          2. As a republican, I agree. I hate Trump and think he’s the worst thing that ever happened to the republican party. Almost none of his views/actions were aligned with traditional conversatism.

    13. Nothing you said sounds at all worth switching to me. It’s not like she made r*cist comments. And some states have removed mask mandates and their numbers have continued to go down so I’m not sure she’s totally off base there – you may very well disagree, and she could be wrong, but it’s not like she’s out to lunch.

      1. Anyone who is not currently masking in indoor public spaces is totally out to lunch, state mandate or no.

    14. It depends what the views are and how those views translate into actions. Broad strokes, I’m fine with differences of opinion, I’m not fine with speech or actions that demean or violate the rights of others. A business owner who thinks restrictions should be loosened has a difference of opinion. A business owner who refuses to follow the rules is violating rights. So, it wouldn’t bother me if they were lobbying for an end to masking as long as they’re following masking rules in the business. Frankly, even in my very blue state, I know almost no one who is on board with 100% of the restrictions, so it seems a little arbitrary to say that some disagreements are ok but others are not (ie – why are outdoor, daytime-only wineries and breweries allowed to open only if they serve you cheese and crackers? Doesn’t make any sense to me, and I know plenty of owners are miffed about it, but those are the rules and they’re being followed). Now, if you feel unsafe going to the business because you don’t think they’re following the rules in their personal lives, that’s a different issue, and you should make the decision that’s right for you.

      1. I agree that in some places, they seem to have taken advantage of the restrictions to push other agendas and can see how that would be frustrating.

    15. I’d unfollow her on social media and have her keep cutting my hair. I live in a very liberal place, but I’ve found out things about acquaintances’ political views that are pretty appalling (mostly in the vein of antivax sentiments or hardcore NIMBY sentiments). Sometimes knowing less about someone’s views preserves your relationship, even if it’s more superficial than it might be otherwise.

    16. OP – You may or may not be interested, but I recommend the book I Love You But I Hate Your Politics by Jeanne Safer. It may help you work through this (and the inevitable future situations of similar concern you may encounter) or it may make you draw a more hard line – I can’t say, but I found it interesting and challenging for my own thought process in this area.

    17. As a Democrat, I don’t understand this at all. Because they’re republicans they should lose their businesses? Because what you are saying is you don’t want them to get your money, so I assume you don’t want them to get ANY money at all. Because of their political views? That you digged and searched for? Insanely scary and dangerous practice from the left.

      1. Congrats on the dumbest and most illiterate comment on the internet today! Not an easy feat!

      2. Get a grip, sheesh. No digging and searching, here. And where did I say that I don’t want them to get money at all?

    18. We spent the pandemic in a purple town. I will not be going back to the local restaurant cited by the health authorities for not complying with the state Covid rules, or to the scofflaw hairdresser. I similarly do not go to a restaurant who preCovid served me a turtle in my soup. It’s a matter of safety, not politics.

    19. This is extremely difficult in my red, rural area. Plus, in thinking about it, I’ve decided that at least some of these beliefs stem from a lack of knowledge, and nobody calling out racist sentiments. Think about it, if you only get your news from Fox News or worse, and only people who think the same way you visit your business, you will never be forced to acknowledge that there is another side to any issue. People with different views become ‘those nasty uppity liberals’ that are on the news, but not around the, I choose to use these businesses, calmly and politely. I do not mention that I disagree with the owners, and do not discuss when doing business. But I make views known in my extremely small town. I’d be surprised if anyone wanted to argue about politics in their stores/businesses. But to make money, they are going to have to interact with at least one person who disagrees. Almost a kill ‘em with kindness approach. Who knows if it will work, but I don’t think that me moving to a blue state will help the systemic racial and political problems in this country. Calmly continuing to express a different view of the world without being antagonist might cause people to stop and think.

    20. It must be nice for so many of you to be able to separate “political views” from your associations with people. Most BIPOC do not have that luxury. And even if I did, I wouldn’t want to because at some point you have to have a moral compass and stick to it. Sadly, not the case for most w*ite people as history shows us.

  16. Has anyone had any experience living/working in Saudi recently? I’ve lived in the Gulf before for work, so I’m familiar with the cultural differences (and what it’s like working as a female in neighboring countries) and have heard Saudi has changed so much since 2018, but haven’t been able to get any first-hand info, other than from biased recruiters, so I’d love any tales or info anyone on here might have!

    1. No insights, but I worked in Saudi in 2014 and just recently started considering opportunities there again, so I’m also curious to hear if anyone else has more recent experience!

    2. I have no experience. I posted a warning here once in response to a similar question, based on something a friend went through. Apparently it is Saudi ex-pat 101 and she should have known but I think her husband was working for a less organized business that didn’t do things perfectly, so I will share the warning again.

      If you are going with a male spouse and have any of your rights tied with that male spouse, make sure you have a contingency plan if the worst happens and you are suddenly there solo. In her case, her spouse passed away and she immediately lost access to bank accounts and ability to travel out of the country. She had a male family member able to travel to her and help w/ a lot but it was far more complicated than they ever expected. Of course, no 30 year old expects their spouse to die while briefly living in a foreign country. I can totally see myself being like ohhh I don’t like these rules but I know my husband won’t abuse them so I can deal with living there for 3 years – and not even think about what happens if my husband was no more.

  17. Any good travel duffle tips? Hopefully doing a week on a (not fancy) yacht in Croatia this summer and everything says soft sided duffle is essential for space reasons. Or any other tips from people who have done similar trips!

    1. I have and love the Lo&Sons Catalina. I’ve got the smallest size which works well for ~2-3 days. The larger one I could easily see being fine for a week if you pack smartly. I personally love the bottom compartment for shoes/dirty laundry/wet stuff/etc.

      1. Ohh interesting! I was eyeing that. It’s a 9 night trip, but I am a pretty light packer.

    2. I have one I really like from Timbuk2 and I was able to customize it so I absolutely love the colors.

    5. No tips, but PLEASE PLEASE report back with your experience! I am considering this type of trip in Croatia and would love a first-hand report!

    6. There is a patagonia duffle with shoulder straps that I have been eyeing for years. It’s called the black hole and comes in several sizes and colors.

  18. Can anyone speak to whether you can still find nice neighborhoods with semi-affordable homes within an hour of Seattle? We used to plan to live IN Seattle, but changed our minds and pursued other opportunities in a different city. Now we have the option to go remote for our jobs based in California and we want to put the greater Seattle area back on the table again, but it’s been so long since I did any research on the area and all I know from the news is that Amazon has driven up home prices in the city proper since we were last there. If we can look in the distant suburbs, though, maybe we can still make it work.

    Our criteria are: homes under $600K with large lots, good access to outdoors (ideally within an hour of skiing), about an hour or so from SeaTac at the most, cute town/walkable downtown, and ideally access to a barn so I can continue to ride. I would love to be near a lake, but it’s not a dealbreaker. What towns should be on my search radar?

    1. Oh, also, I forgot to mention that safety is a big priority for us. We want to live somewhere where we feel safe going on walks at night or where I can do solo runs without feeling sketched out.

      1. I used to live there and have a friend who’s searching in that area now. Prices are pretty gut-wrenching, tbh. She’s looking in the south sound (Tacoma, Olympia).

    2. I would look in Olympia, but I don’t think 600k is super realistic for what you’re looking for.

      1. I’d prob stretch the concept of “Seattle” and look at Bellingham or Port Townsend, if space and outdoors access are the priorities.

        1. Definitely willing to stretch the concept of “Seattle” if needed. Remote work opens up more possibilities and I’d be willing to be farther from the Seattle airport to find the right place. Thanks for the Bellingham rec – I have a friend moving there so it would definitely be great to consider!

    4. I mean there’s plenty of <600k houses (SFH) down around SeaTac—just depends on how new/how many beds/baths/how big a lot you’re asking for. If you don’t need to be super near downtown Seattle then it’s very doable to buy a place. For it to be walkable to a cute downtown is probably a lot harder though. And no idea where barns are.

    5. Enumclaw is close to skiing (Crystal Mountain, or Mt. Rainier if you are into backcountry) and SeaTac. It has a few cute streets but it’s tiny. You could probably have room for a barn. There are some lakes nearby too.

    6. I’m thinking the towns south of town are probably the best bet for value. Maybe you can get a house around Skyway if you want to be closer to Seattle city limits? The area doesn’t really have the cute downtown, but you’re not far from Columbia City or downtown Renton. Otherwise, best bets might be down the 167 or 169 corridors.

  19. We have a high school baby sitter who has been awesome this year and really made the pandemic doable for us. She’s graduating and I’d like to get her a present – any ideas? Budget is up to $200 (I’m thinking anywhere $50-$200 range). Thanks!

    7. Ditto cash, but if you can think of an appropriate accessory to something she’ll need in college and/or can ask her parent(s) about it, that could be fun too. Like if you knew she was saving up for a computer and printer, and you could buy the printer (…idk if college kids still buy printers…)

      1. I don’t think there is any need for most college students to buy a printer. Many assignments are turned in by emailing or uploading, and campus will have plenty of printers when necessary.

    9. Cash equivalent that can only be used for a splurge, like a gift card to a restaurant near campus. Can you get a door dash/Uber eats gift card? If there is a Starbucks on campus, even a card for that. Cash will end up being absorbed into normal living expenses so I try to give something that will make freshman year a little more fun.

    10. Gift card to Bed Bath & Beyond. Not as versatile as cash, but she’ll almost certainly need things from there.

    11. I just gave my college babysitter (started when she was 15) $250 and a camelback (she’s a soil scientist) for her college graduation. My high school babysitter (been with us a year) got $100 for her graduation.

  20. A very kind woman who is a friend of my mom’s let me borrow her knee scooter while I recovered from two foot surgeries. I am finally able to give it back to her, and I’d like to include a thank-you gift as well, but I really don’t know what to get her – she’s…rich. She owns two large homes in our VHCOL area, works in finance, and has very expensive taste. I make a measly government salary and rent a home – all this to say that we’re on different playing fields. I did purchase a new cover for the “seat” of the scooter because the one that was on it got pretty dirty while I used it, but I would like to get her something else as well. Any suggestions?

    1. a very kind note. a plant? bottle of wine? or a donation to a charity in her name for a cause you think she cares about

    2. I am like this woman in terms of financial situation and honestly, a nice note is all that would be necessary.

      1. Agree. I promise you she doesn’t want you to spend your money on a gift. If you must, make it something de minimus and consumable like wine or chocolate.

    3. A heartfelt note and something really small but indulgent. Like- I could never bring myself to spend $10-$15 on a box of those champagne gummies or a ~fancy~ chocolate bar even though I will mindlessly drop the same amount on a Lyft to dinner when I’m running late.

    5. Flowers for her garden, or a nice bouquet at a price that you can afford, maybe along with Lindt chocolates.
      And a heartfelt Thank You note.

  21. Can I pat myself on the back for a moment? I just finished a 12 week program in the Sweat app (Fierce at home, if you’re curious) and made SO much progress. My clothes fit better, which is awesome and has made me excited about returning to the office next month, I feel stronger, and most importantly, I am proud of committing to following the program, even when I was tired or it got late at night. It just feels good to commit to something, follow through, and see results.

    Comment what you’re proud of below, so we can cheer each other on today.

    1. Congrats! I have two to share:
      1) I have had three work wins this week and it’s only Wednesday. After MONTHS of feeling lost, frazzled, unmotivated, and blah, these wins have been such a boost.
      2) I have been working out consistently and eating in a way that feels nourishing and balanced for me. I am thoughtful about what I eat but not obsessive and it feel like a new era.

    2. Fitness stuff:

      (1) I started doing the 10,000 steps per day thing after going on a very sedate park trail with my older kid and both of us loving it. I’ve been doing it for about 2.5 weeks now and I feel so good.
      (2) I’m 2/3 of the way through a beginner forearm plank challenge. I’m up to 40 seconds!
      (3) I’ve worked up to 16 pushups (1-2-3-4-3-2-1). I could not do any pushups in March 2020.

    3. I started a big boro project (learning a new skill), patching up a worn out coat, and I have been working on it for several days in a row!

    4. Over the weekend, I wore my favorite (ahem, only) strapless bra for the first time since before Covid. I remembered that the underwire has started to poke out on one side and I never repaired it, despite meaning to do so for well over a year. Last night I finally did it! I’m so not good at sewing, here’s hoping it stays!

    5. 1) I made a pretty good thai green curry last night. Mhmmm is 11:39am too early for lunch?
      2) My apartment has come together and looks so pretty! It’s also very clean right now, something I hope to keep. I’ve been good about it so far.
      3) I’m not sure about number of steps, but I’ve been consistently moving above 400 calories based on my apple watch the last 1.5 weeks. I think doing small chores and generally moving around my apartment adds to it more than I thought. I did morning yoga (10 mins) every day this week so far.

    6. Great work, everybody!

      Since the weekend I have taken care of several issues for my 95-year-old dad (got his tax stuff in, figured out an issue with his social security, figured out how to get the money off his stimulus card and into his bank account) that were not that big but were causing me HUGE amounts of anxiety. And since I was on a roll, last night I cleaned out my closet and that feels great!

    7. Congrats! I’m on week two of the Fierce at Home program and loving the workouts so far.

    8. EB and Rox, can you describe the program a little? I can’t tell from the Sweat website exactly what it is. (Or maybe I’m not looking in the right place.)

      1. Hereyou go: https://www.sweat.com/blogs/fitness/fierce-at-home

        Look at the section titled How Are the Workouts Structured? to get a sense of what they are like.

        I have done several different programs in Sweat, and this is by far my favorite. I like the variety in the workouts and I find that even though they have been very effective, they are not so hard that I dread them.

      2. If you’re familiar with the original BBG program, I’d say Fierce at Home is a combination of BBG and Pwr (a mix of cardio and weights).

    9. Congrats!!I did a year straight of BBG (no workouts missed) and started Fierce in January. I am evangelical about Sweat. I love it!

    10. Congrats! it may be too late in the day, but I have a question about the Sweat app. It looks fun, but I have bad knees, and can’t do squats, lunges or the like, and I find that many at-home workouts involve those exercises. Do they have options for people like me?

      1. They just came out with a low impact program, which may work for you. Maybe try that? They also have Barre and Yoga programs if those work for you.

  22. Biglaw honeymoon question. I know your honeymoon is one of the few times you can take a real vacation in biglaw. I’m getting married in a couple of weeks and for obvious reasons we’re not planning our “real” honeymoon immediately after the wedding. I am taking about a week off, though, because I want to ride that happiness for a little while. I’ve been calling it a mini moon. Does anyone have any experience taking a shorter vacation immediately after the wedding and a longer honeymoon later? In normal times, ime this was pretty frowned upon, but not sure if that’s changed due to current circumstances. Advice on when we should aim to take our real honeymoon? I’d love to take 3 weeks to go to Nee Zealand, but I’d like to do at least 2 weeks in Hawaii if it’s not possible to wait until international travel opens back up. My firm has been pretty good about respecting vacations in the past, compared to other biglaw shops; I’ve taken 2 weeks off before but the only person I know who took longer than that was a rainmaker and she worked a fair bit during her vacation.

    1. I don’t know anyone who took 3 weeks off even when a honeymoon immediately followed the wedding. At most it was 2 weeks + 2 days (taking the Thurs/Fri off before the wedding).

      I would like to say people will be understanding of you taking the honeymoon later, but that depends on how mercurial the partners you work with are or are not. There’s a wave of goodwill that you’re riding taking the time at the wedding; if you’re doing it 9 months later I can easily picture some of the jack-sses I used to work with saying “what do you mean, haven’t you been married for like a year?”

      1. I took 2 weeks plus 2 days like Cat describes. Probably would have taken 2 weeks at another time. I’m not sure I know anyone who took 3. That’s my only issue with what you describe!

      2. Ditto the point about goodwill for delayed honeymoon…. it’s BS, but I do feel like you may get some “you’re going to be away AGAIN?” sentiment, even if you take the same amount of time that you would if used in one fell swoop

    2. 2 weeks is pretty accepted. 3 is pushing it in my experience and if you were my associate who took a week for their wedding and then another 3 weeks later, I would look askance. Especially if you continued taking other long weekends, etc. through the year.

    3. My wedding was ~12 years ago, but I took 3 weeks – 1 week before Saturday wedding, two weeks after (traveling Monday-to-following-Friday, back in office Monday). That was the norm at my biglaw firm at the time, and I agree with OP’s assessment that this was viewed as the only time you could count on not being bothered while away from work.
      Friends who have taken delayed but pre-Covid honeymoons generally did a few days around the wedding and then ~2 weeks when they went on their trip (often around the holidays to get more bang for your book). I would say you likely have 3 weeks total to use, and I’d split it between the two occurences in a way that makes sense. Longer than 3 weeks total may not be responded to well, though the fact that you have taken a 2 week vacation previously is actually a good sign (I haven’t worked at firms that felt the same way for non-honeymoon vacations)

    4. I’m in Biglaw,, and we did something similar (one week off for the wedding and 2.5 weeks for the honeymoon in NZ). The only difference though was that our wedding was in the fall, and we took our honeymoon over the Christmas holidays. If you can try to schedule it around a firm holiday period where other people are taking time off, it may play better.

  23. I am trying to cut back on caffeine and switch to decaf for my second cup. Any recommendations of decaf coffee brands that actually taste good? (I have a standard drip coffee maker, not a keurig)

    1. Swiss water or sugarcane processed decaf coffees are my preference. I buy my beans from a local roaster, so I can’t help on recommendations (unless you want them shipped… in which case I will always recommend Kaladi Brothers in Alaska).

    3. Have you checked if your standard coffee comes in decaf? Like you, I do caffeine at the start of the day and decaf for 1 or 2 more cups later. I buy the same kind of peet’s in normal and in decaf.

    5. If you’re wanting a splurge-y treat, try the Caffe Umbria Mezzanotte blend. But in general, the independent coffee roasters (at least here in New England) seem to offer a decaf blend that is better-than-good, and they all sell beans on their websites to ship to your home.

    7. I love Illy and Lavazza decaf, can’t even taste the difference between normal and decaf. I use espresso machine and/or moka Bialetti coffee maker.

    8. No specific recs, but I’ve the best luck with local roasters. You might not like the first one you try, but I’ve always found the best decaf is with a local coffee roaster compared to a bigger brand (I’m guessing because they’re more focused on satisfying their caffeine customers?).

  24. I’ve been thinking a lot about the post from yesterday where the poster said she’d been feeling “blah”/bored, and one of the responses from Anonymous about finding joy in day to day things instead of needing to make big life changes.
    I finished grad school a few years ago, and then did a program like Peace Corps or something – time-limited, very interesting and impactful, fairly all-consuming.
    When I was really busy at that job I kept thinking that I wanted to have an apartment in a neighborhood I like and a favorite coffee shop and enough sleep – and I have all of that now. Or I could shortly, once COVID is more over and coffee shops open up more.
    I just feel so lost.
    I’m single, but the only way that really bothers me is that having a partner seems to provide a similar “path” to being in school or something – get engaged -> plan wedding -> get married -> etc etc etc. So I wonder if I would feel less lost if I had a partner.
    I don’t know if that’s the actual issue though. I’m kind of bored at work. I think I’m just having the ” I have to wake up and go to work and come back and go to the gym and . . .” for the rest of my life realization/crisis a few years late, delayed by grad school and the job I described.

    So very long story short, I want to bring more “moments of joy” into my day-to-day life so I can focus on that and not have a constant existential crisis. (I am in therapy, on meds). Exercising regularly seems helpful, I love taking classpass classes.
    Decorating my apartment is fun right now but I need a long term hobby I think. I’m not artistic but I would love to be.
    Little things that have brought me joy recently have been looking up a special recipe and then cooking, buying books and setting aside time to read them

    1. How about a pet? Not saying it’s for everyone, so definitely assess your own comfort and willingness but it can be nice having a pet as companion on daily walks in the park, on beach trips, and on hikes. They’ll take effort and care, so you won’t have time to be bored, and earning their love will be rewarding. Planting something on your patio or balcony would be nice too. It’s much less work than a pet but it’ll likewise give you something to take care of, and seeing the plants thrive under your care would be rewarding.

      1. That’s a good idea! I would definitely like a pet so I’ll have to think about that. Cats are allowed in my apartment but not dogs.
        I can get a flower pot or two for my balcony, that might help.

    2. I remember this moment (and I had a partner, so I can promise that it’s not a partner that will fill the space in your life.) For me, the thing that helped was finding a new volunteer activity to engage in – not on an ad hoc basis, but with a real commitment. I’m the president of the board of a nonprofit, and I love it. It gives me a whole different way to exercise my skills, connects me with new people, and lets me think about something besides work and family. It takes a lot of time. But it is so worth it because it feeds my soul.

      1. I did just join a local nonprofit! It seems like the type of thing I could get really involved in, they have a lot of events, I like the other members, seems promising. Hearing you say this is helpful, I didn’t really think it had anything to do with having a partner or not, will go all in on this nonprofit.

    3. Following with interest. Since reading that string yesterday have had the same wish to bring more bits of joy to my life.
      Your suggestion re: a recipe is a great idea! I really loved learning to cook Samin Nosrat’s Persianish Rice.
      For me another thing that’s worked is planting flowers and putting up a birdfeeder.

  25. My 9 year old daughter wants a skateboard for her birthday. I have no idea what brands are good and am overwhelmed with the options on Amazon. I’d like something that will be durable and safe obviously and she could use for a few years. She is just starting to learn. Any recommendations?

    1. It will be more expensive than buying online, but if you can I would take her to a skate shop and get some advice. They know their stuff, IME (as the parent of a former skater).

    2. I bought one for my 9yo son last year and was similarly grappling with reading a ton of articles and trying to not spend $$$ on something he may get bored of! I ended up buying the Imitor Skateboard for Beginners 31″ by 8″. Also buy ankle and knee guards. Find a Youtube video that demonstrates how to start off (my son was initially frustrated at not being able to get it going well enough until he watched a video). The skateboard worked great, I followed advice on websites not to buy the too-small size. This gives him enough room to place his back foot. He has taken a few falls off it (notably when coming down a slope) but has been ok with the helmet. Being kept outdoors has resulted in some design fading etc. but still works well.

Comments are closed.