Coffee Break: Avery Leather Convertible Backpack

Vince Camuto Avery Leather Convertible BackpackI have problems with Lord & Taylor’s website — even now, sorting by “handbags” shows me a million dresses, and there was a period this summer where every time I tried to check out they helpfully emptied my cart — but the sale today is pretty good, and since I’ve already spent far too much time shopping the sale, I thought I’d share. Lots of good prices (going fast!); today I’m liking this convertible backpack from Vince Camuto, which looks perfect for the woman who wants the bag for her commute to be ergonomically correct, but the bag for popping out to lunch to be stylish.  It was $258, but both the black and the grey are $193 (and they come down to $154 with code SAVE). Vince Camuto Avery Leather Convertible Backpack

(If you’re curious I also got this cashmere sweater for weekends (in part because of positive reader reviews on Lord & Taylor cashmere) and some wacky Christmas socks because, well, who doesn’t like wacky Christmas socks?)



  1. Anon for this :

    Hey ladies, quick threadjack– has anyone had any experience with meditation? If so, how did you get involved in it, and do you have any helpful resources to recommend to someone new to it? I’ve been feeling really anxious lately, and am considering trying some form of daily meditation to try and focus my mind in a more calm direction. Any tips or resources would be appreciated!

    • I have some experience. Here in DC there’s a monthly “intro” class at a local yoga studio, as well as weekly classes, that I found helpful to get started. Many big cities also have meditation centers or institutes (or even just groups) that could give you the right foundation to begin a solo practice.

      I would recommend starting with an instructor for the basics rather that start from a book or recording. I found the human element to be key at first, and even though there’s no real “wrong” way to meditate, it made me feel like I was on the right path.

      If you’re in DC I can give you recs.

      • I’d take recs, thanks!

        • wildkitten :

          Yoga District has guided meditation. (I’ve never been.)

        • I’ve done the Meditation workshop (once a month, next one in late Feb.) at Flow Yoga and loved it … taught by Hugh Byrne. That workshop in particular goes through the basics for newbies, though anyone can attend. Flow has a regular meditation class he teaches once a week, though he also teaches at other locations around the city for groups and does individual consultations. His website is www dot hugh-byrne dot com.

          Tara Brach is very well regarded and has her own institute in the area, though I’ve never taken her classes or workshops.

          Tranquil Space has yoga & meditation classes if you like yoga and want to dip your toes in the meditation waters … about 15 minutes of meditation, 45 of all levels flow. I’m sure Yoga District and other yoga studios have it as well, though I found it useful to go to an experienced meditation teacher at first. For example, I learned that one form of meditation really isn’t my cup of tea but another really works. Having a knowledgable teacher at first — even for just a class or two or a workshop, nothing fancy — can give you a comfort level with what works for you since it’s different for everyone.

    • I do NOT have any experience with mediteation, but I love this handbag! I wish DAD would let me buy some thing new, but he has blocked my credit cards through the end of March 2013. That also means that I can NOT even go out to dinner unless I get cash from my DEBITT Card! FOOEY! He think’s I am a spend thrift? If I am then I am a thrify one. FOOEY b/c I like to pick up a check but I can ONLEY do that at work with our FIRM’s AMEX BLACK CARD! YAY!

      I will have to ask the manageing partner if I can use it if I promise to remburese the firm for any personal use until I get my own credit card’s back. What would the hive do?


      Does their dad’s also make them do dumm thing’s like this? Do any manageing partner’s let you use their credit card’s if you pay them back? TRIPEL FOOEY!

      I found out MYRNA will no longer go out with this guy b/c he is NOT interested in anything more meaningful and even tho Myrna was not in it for a LT releationship, she thought the guy was very petty. He said she was NOT curvey enough for him! What is he, Jared Leto? FOOEY on men that think they are movie star’s! FOOEY!

      • Ellen, kudos on knowing the meaning of the word spendthrift. A lot of people get it totally wrong.

      • Honey, it’s 2014. You can use your credit cards again! YAY!

      • I would…use my debit card to pay for things with my OWN MUNEY!

    • There’s a book by Lawrence LeShan called How to Meditate. It’s an excellent beginniner’s guide, with descriptions of several different formats for meditation. There are also various iPhone apps I’ve tried, but I still go back to LeShan’s techniques.

    • Vipassana :

      A friend raves by Vipassana meditation. It really changed her life (she was very depressed before). Agree with those who said to let someone guide you, rather than use an audio guide.

    • I got started with “8 Minute Meditation.” I forget the author’s name but he’s a lawyer and the book is really designed for people with lawyer-level stress careers. It’s very practical, non spiritual if that’s what you’re looking for. I find that it has helped me a lot with regulating my emotions, tempering my reactions to stressful or anger-inducing situations, and made me more cognizant of my emotions and stress levels throughout the day. I love it, highly recommend.

  2. Coach Laura :

    I liked the look and features of this bag, but didn’t realize how huge it is. I’m not sure I’d like it that big but curious to see if anyone has used it.

    • I think I really like this idea for a bag! Had to figure out how the backpack aspect worked for a minute there, but I think I’d love this for traveling…. Just finished redecorating my apartment so i really, really shouldn’t, but oh……. maybe…… Has anyone tried it?

  3. Everlane? :

    Has anyone here ordered from Everlane before? Ive been on the quest for the perfect white t shirt and was thinking of trying theirs. The silk shirts look nice too…

    • Carrie Preston :

      I have tons of stuff from them – love it, really high quality & fast shipping/excellent customer service. My only complaint is that their sweaters skew a little boxy.

      • How about their silk blouses? Do you have a sense of how their sizes stack up against, say, Madewell or J Crew? (I really want to buy some of their blouses, but am not sure if I am a small or medium)

        • I’d like the answer to this as well. I ordered a silk blouse from Uniqlo that was too boxy and would be interested to know if Everlane is more tailored.

        • Carrie Preston :

          I’ve found they run large & on the boxier side. I’d size down – they definitely run larger than Jcrew & Madewell. I haven’t tried Uniglo’s blouses so I’m not sure how they compare in terms of style, but the quality of the everlane blouses is great & I’ve found Uniglo decent but I wouldn’t rave about the quality.

    • Anonymous :

      For great white tees, you might also consider Uniqlo. I’m a recent convert. Smooth, lovely cotton, great fit, and unbeatable price!

  4. Curious CPA :

    We’ve had a lot of threadjacks re salaries/benefits for lawyers, and now that I’m seriously considering switching jobs, I figured I’d start one for the CPAs put there. I’m mainly interested in figuring out what kind of hours/vacation I can negotiate (salary doesn’t matter as much to me).

    Here’s mine:

    Type of firm: large public accounting
    Location: midsize east coast
    Level: first year senior
    Weekly Hours: 40-45 regularly, around 60 during winter busy season and around 50 during summer busy season
    Salary: $61k base plus bonus (aroud $3k usually)
    Vacation: 22 days PTO plus about 9 paid holidays

    • Another CPA :

      Type of firm: Healthcare. Working in large health system
      Location: East Coat
      Level: 7 years experience
      Weekly Hours: Approx 45
      Salary: $82k
      Vacation: 5 weeks vacation/personal plus sick time. 6 paid holidays

    • Type of firm: large public accounting (not B4)
      Location: east coast
      Level: associate (forensics)
      Weekly Hours: 40 with 3-4 weeks year at 60+
      Salary: $60k base plus bonus (3k last year)
      Vacation: 17 days PTO, 9 paid holidays (senior associates get 22 days PTO)

    • Canada CGA/CPA :

      Type of company – large oil & gas service
      Location – Canada
      Level – Regional controller
      Hours: 37.5-40 except month end, where 6-12 hours are added (depending on if month end is a weekend)
      Salary: $120k + bonus
      Vacation: 3 weeks + 7 sick days and 11 paid stat holidays

    • Anonymous :

      CPE Here –

      Moved from public accounting 6 months ago to industry. NEVER looked back!
      Location – Mid west, O&G
      Level – Senior
      Weekly Hours – Around 40, minimal overtime
      Salary – $75k base plus bonus (told to expect 20%, so $15,000)
      Benefits – 3 weeks + sick days are not tracked, not sure on holidays, health management program allows for cash earnings of up to $1,500

      • Canada CGA/CPA :

        +1. I also made the move from public practice to industry about 3.5 years ago and my salary has doubled in that time, excluding bonus. I enjoy the work more and my company has way more opportunities for growth. Best career move I’ve ever made, hands down. Plus – no tax season!!

        • Anonymous :

          Same here! I am loving it, seriously! If anyone is contemplating leaving public accounting, just do it, find a good company and go. When my firm asked what they could do to keep me I said – allow me to work 40 hours per week year round, which I know isn’t possible, and that’s why I’m making this move. I went through 5 tax seasons and it was seriously soul sucking. Two years ago I passed out in the office on April 16th and was taken away by ambulance. That’s when I knew my time in public accounting was over. I learned the hard way that I’m not a person that can work 70-80 hours per week. I am enjoying life now.

          Sorry for the crazy tax season rant – I am just SO happy that I do not have a tax season this year. I have our filing season, which will require some overtime but not like public accounting.

          • Anonymous :

            I forgot to add: Another excellent thing in industry is no billable hours! All that matters is that I get my work done.

          • Curious CPA :

            Wow, that’s crazy! How did you find your new job? Did you use a recruiter?

          • Anonymous :

            No, they weren’t using a recruiter. Surprisingly I found the position on Monster. Looks like you’re a senior so you must have a couple years in? If you feel ready to get out of public accounting you should do it. I don’t know if you’re on the tax or financial accounting side but both there should be positions in industry available for either. Let me know if you have any questions, I’m glad to help in anyway that I can.

          • Curious CPA :

            Thank you! I’m on the tax side with about 3 years of experience plus an audit internship. The thing with public accounting is I like the work itself and find it interesting, but I really just don’t want to deal with busy seasons anymore. I’m a little nervous though that I would be bored in industry.

          • Canada CGA/CPA :

            My current job was posted on an online site as well, but my company also uses recruiters. Do you have Robert Half in the US?

            I was also worried that I would be bored in industry, and if I were an AP or AR clerk, or something more junior like that, I probably would be. However, at the more senior level my job entails way more problem solving, explaining movement in revenue/expenses, consulting with operations to ensure best practices are followed, management of people, and more. Some of my favorite projects were the integration of small acquisitions into our existing systems.

            If you really enjoy audit, many large corporations (and probably some medium sized ones) have internal audit departments. This might be something you would enjoy?

            Something I struggled with personally when making the move was that I was unsure how my public practice skills would transfer to industry. If that is holding you back, don’t let it! The skills you learn in public practice more than transfer. Really, if you have been in public practice, you can do pretty much ANYTHING.

          • I second Canada’s advice – public accounting more than prepares you for a position in industry. I am definitely not bored either! The most challenging part for me in taking this new job has been learning all the business units, etc. Also, the work papers are in much greater detail than in public because we have the extra time, whereas in public accounting you’re on a time budget. I’ve never spent so much time looking for $1 rounding differences. What I had to tell myself is “I am trainable”. I know it sounds stupid, but have you ever been on a client project that you completely and utterly failed at? No, because you wouldn’t be a senior if that were the case. You might have needed assistance at times and that’s okay. My position is similar to public accounting in that I have a manager that reviews my work and a director that reviews it a second time.

            Another option I explored was a family office. It’s pretty much like a private accounting firm for one (or a few) super wealthy families. There are a few of these offices in the metro area where I live. They bring the environment of a public accounting firm but not the hours because it’s generally more manageable.

            Another great thing – I found the pay to be substantially higher in industry than public accounting. Most recruiters confirmed that this is true. It’s even higher when you consider that you aren’t putting in significant overtime hours.

            My word of caution – Know whether the companies you are looking at are good companies before taking the time to go through the interview process. Watch the job boards. Do you see the same job opening repeatedly at the same company after a few months? If so, there are probably issues there. In my city people know the companies you don’t want to work for. IF you were hard up for work you do what you have to do but with a CPA license and 3 years of tax experience you can find a good position.

            I wouldn’t recommend jumping ship in January though. I think you’re stuck for this season. Do good work through April 15th, take a nice long vacation and then start looking.

          • Curious CPA :

            Thanks, guys!

            Anonymous, don’t worry, I would never in a million years quit in January, I can’t even imagine doing such a thing to my coworkers.

            I’m going to keep an eye out on the job boards for the next couple of months though, I like you guys have suggested, I think that’s a good idea!

          • Curious CPA :

            Ugh, sorry for all the typos. The most recent IOS update has not been kind to my phone.

    • Accountant Lady :

      Type of firm: mid-size regional public accounting– 10 offices
      Location: southeast
      Level: second year staff level
      Weekly Hours: 40-45 regularly, around 60+ Feb-April and around 50 August-October
      Salary: $55k, no bonus yet, but I started at 50k a year ago, so I’m pretty happy with this raise.
      Vacation: 21 days PTO, up to 14 days comp time based on hours worked, 11 holidays
      Other Perks: catered dinner three nights a week, plus catered breakfast and lunch on Saturdays during tax season

    • Yet Another CPA :

      Type of firm: local public accounting
      Location: LA
      Level: 6 years in
      Weekly Hours: billed between 70-80 hours/week from Feb 1 – April 15 last year and similar the month leading up to September 15. The rest of the year I’m generally at work 40-50/week.
      Salary: With overtime and bonus I made a little over $100K last year
      Vacation: 19 days vacation, no sick days:-( I get an extra week once I make manager or I’m here 5 years. I got 25 vacation days at my previous firm (Top 20 firm) and really miss the extra 6 days, but I feel a lot worse leaving a little early or “working from home” here, so it’s not too bad.

    • Anon for this :

      I just changed jobs. And, I am more senior than many people here so salary likely won’t be a meaningful data point, but just putting it out there. I’m in north Texas.

      Old job:
      Big 4 accounting firm
      Senior manager
      Weekly hours – 55-60
      Salary: $130K, no bonus or overtime pay
      Vacation: 25 days including personal days, 10 holidays, sick as needed

      New job:
      Financial services industry
      Weekly hours – 40, except at quarter close, then 50-55 for a week or two
      Salary: $112K plus up to 15% bonus
      Vacation: 10 days, plus 10 holidays and 6 sick days.

      Considering that I took a demotion (long story, has to do with rebooting my core responsibilities, conscious decision that I expect to pay off in the long run), and that I went from 15-20 hours overtime a week to almost none, I’m convinced I was underpaid where I was – sad to be able to say that about Big 4. I get less vacation, but that’s typical for industry. I’d rather leave at 4:30 or 5 every day and have a life.

      My old job did have some perks such as travel, and I do miss that, but it’s all good.

    • Type of firm: big public accounting
      Location: Europe
      Level: 2nd year associate
      Weekly hours: 40-60
      Salary: $75k + overtime
      Vacation: 25 days, sick days as needed
      Other benefits: catered dinner when working late, great insurance, free phone/internet/gym membership

      I actually love my job!

  5. Mary Poppins :

    Baby/kid post warning…

    How did you decide between a nanny and day care for a young baby/infant?

    I’m very early on and have pretty good maternity leave, so I don’t think I’ll need something for another 11 months or so, but I’m in DC and I’ve heard wait lists for day care in the city proper are on the order of a year or more.

    I work downtown and have a more flexible job and can work from home on occasion, spouse works in an outer suburb and has a less flexible job, but is more senior, we’ll be living in between in an closer in suburb. I’m planning on going part-time for at least the first two years — although I have no idea how ‘part’ that will be in actuality — but that’s another post. Spouse has no option of part time for the next three years or so.

    It would be great to get feedback from other people — it’s too early to talk to my mom-friends about this, but I know if day care is going to be a serious option, we’d need to get on lists soon.


    • I want my baby in daycare for the socialization, primarily, but there are lots of other reasons too. There are more toys at daycare; they have tons of age-appropriate activities; they can really PLAY and make age-appropriate messes (think: finger painting when they’re old enough); they’ll get sick a ton for the first 12-18 months (I’ve heard) but then will rarely get sick. However, I live in a NYC apartment. If I had a house or any type of home large enough to accommodate a real playroom, I would probably be more open to the idea of a nanny. IMHO, having a nanny means additional expenses of tons of age-appropriate toys/activities to keep baby occupied all day every day. It also means having space to store all of those toys. I also like the idea of state-certification and some sort of standards that daycares have to adhere to. But of course, I haven’t had my baby yet so I’ll be interested in these responses too!

      • plscalmdown :

        Babies do not need tons of toys. Blocks, a board book, and a wooden spoon and they’re good to go.

        My bigger concern with a nanny is that all of the ones I see are on their phones all the time. (Just like most mom’s walking around the city).

        • Yes, my bigger concern with a nanny is that one nanny who killed the children she was watching a year or two ago in NYC. So there’s always that.

          • new york associate :

            This is a pretty flip response to a story that was heartbreaking and a decision that people really struggle with. What happened to the Krim family was awful, unbelievably so, but it was also very unusual. Terrible things also happen at daycare, and they are also very unusual.

          • I thought “plscalmdown” was a pretty flip response to my host of reasons for choosing daycare. What happened to the Krim family was horrifying and haunts me as I try to figure out what to do with my child if we don’t get into a daycare. I absolutely did not mean to be flip about it.

          • To give you a flip side perspective from theKrim family tragedy– a) there are lots of stories out there about nannies who have put their own lives in danger for the sake of a child in their care. And b) there are probably as many or more mommies (and daddies and mommies’ boyfriends) who have tragically harmed children than nannies.

            I say this not to argue with you, but to hopefully give you (and anyone else) comfort if you choose to use a nanny. I live in Manhattan and do not have the choice of using a day care center (because there are so few here). My DD is only 15 mos and her nanny is devoted to her. She has organized a play group and they do play dates and a few classes. She followed our wishes with feeding her pumped breastmilk and worked with us on sleep training. She is more than a caregiver — she is a partner in raising our child. It works for us.

          • Wildkitten :

            I also thought plscalmdown latched on to a weird part of your very rational factors, 3L.

    • I think this question has been addressed several times recently – try searching “ daycare versus nanny” and variations thereof. There should be lots of good responses to check out.

    • not to make the decision harder ;0) but i have lots of friends who have had great experiences with nanny shares, 2 or more kids sharing the same nanny. They get more flexibility than daycare, but the kids still get more socialization and enrichment than if they were alone. Just a thought ;o)

      • Nannyshare :

        My advice would be to start researching all the options now. Get on waiting lists for big daycares, start touring in-home daycares, and pay attention to local listserves for other families looking for nannyshares. Get nanny recommendations on local mom listserves – DCurbanmoms is a good place to start, though a little scary, and/or start talking to other families interested in a nannyshare. In other words, be open to just about anything, and be ready to adapt/change your set-up based on your child’s needs and your needs if what you initially pick doesn’t work. Expectations do not equal reality in just about everything related to parenting!

        In my experience, I really, really did not want to use a nanny (for a variety of reasons – expense, less oversight, etc.), but I ended up using a nannyshare after I realized that neither my guy, nor I, was well suited to a daycare. I went back to work at 4 months, and my guy went to a fantastic daycare. It didn’t work out well for us. He wasn’t a great napper, and the stimulation of daycare was way, way too much for him. He would nap 25, maybe 30 minutes all day. I tried working with the women, but at the end of the day, there was only so much they could do. Also, the set hours were tough to navigate for two busy working parents. We stayed for 2 months before I found a nannyshare. Our son did so, so much better there. The nanny was able to rock him to sleep for naps, he had his own room to sleep in, and the other guy is exactly my guy’s age. We’ve kept the share for over a year now, and have added activities to meet the kids’ developmental needs (more activity classes and a “school” program that the nanny takes them to a few days a week now that the kids are older). The other family frequently works from home, and had a preexisting relationship with the nanny, so I felt confident about the set-up. It’s not at all where I expected to be, but it’s been a great, great set-up for our families. Especially at this point, it’s definitely more expensive than daycare would have been, but I consider it to have been the best investment we’ve made (peace of mind, loving “third parent” to our son, happy baby, and flexibility).

        I had a really hard time walking away from the daycare, but I’m so glad I did. I do wish I had educated myself more on other options while I was still pregnant, so that it wasn’t such a fire-drill when we decided that daycare wasn’t going to work. The lucky part about being in a city is that there are always other options, however, no matter how many times you hear about multiple year waitlists, etc.

    • This was DC over 10 years ago, but we went with nanny because we could not get into any convenient daycare centers. I was on a dozen waitlists and none of them came through. We ended up sharing a nanny with another family in the neighborhood and alternating houses; it worked out great.

    • I’m in the Chicago area. I chose daycare for my first child because of the socialization, the cost, and the variety of activities and experiences I would never think to do. (If I had twins or several kids, the cost might sway my decision.)

      But primarily for me, I wanted the security of several adults around at all times, with proper standards and training. Think: if child falls and hits her head, there are procedures for assessing the severity and calling me when appropriate. Other adults will likely witness to hold the teacher accountable. Plus, the idea of an adult I don’t know alone all day in my house, with my baby-who-can’t-speak, scares me.

    • saltylady :

      We had a nanny when they were infants, switched to daycare/preschool when they were like 2 or 2.5. I just knew a lot of people with nannies so it seemed normal, and there aren’t a lot of daycares around me. I couldn’t imagine how they would deal with so many babies– mine at least wanted to be held so much of the time. They were never the ones lying contentedly in their carseat thing. We had a great nanny who had been a preschool teacher so it was the best of both worlds. But once they were old enough for preschool, it slashed our childcare costs in half. Currently, we have an afterschool babysitter, which, notably, is less expensive than the afterschool program for two kids– but that’s a ways off for you.

    • I would get on waitlists even if you think you might go the nanny route for a few reasons:
      1 – Your baby will have a personality of his/her own. Mine turned out to be, shall we say, ‘high-needs’ (cried a LOT) for the first six months or so, which made me very happy to have one-on-one care. But I have friends whose babies were more chill, and who did very well in daycare. If you get one of those you might be happy to go ahead and put her in daycare, which is usually cheaper.
      2 – I think that the benefits of daycare become more apparent with slightly older babies. So you might get a nanny but then decide when your kid is a year or 18 months that you’d like to transition to daycare. We’re starting my daughter in daycare at exactly one year.

      • Anon in Chicago :

        Benefits of daycare actually become apparent very early. Also, those babies that want to be held all the time often get over that fast (in a good way) in day care.

    • We went the daycare route because (1) we liked knowing there would be several adults in the room all the time, plus the director is the owner and she is there all day, every day, keeping everyone accountable; (2) socialization — he’s already learning so much by watching the older kids and seeing how kids interact with each other; (3) no worries about taxes and vacation days and immigration status, all those things you have to think about when you become an employer; and (4) the program gets really good when he’s a toddler, with lots of art and music, so I wanted him to have all of that as he gets older (we could pay for classes with a nanny, but that’s getting expensive on top of the cost of a nanny).

      I was worried about what it would be like for a little baby in the infant room, but he’s doing great. The teachers hold him a lot, and when they’re not holding him he’s doing tummy time, or napping (he has his own crib and we bring sheets from home), or hanging out in a bouncy chair “talking” to the older infants when they come by to say hi. It’s a very cute dynamic in the infant room with all the little buddies.

    • I agree with Sarabeth – get on lists now if you think daycare might be an option. I am on a dozen waiting lists in DC and NoVA now and, to be honest, I doubt any will come through by the time I have to go back to work. Some are 2+ years long. We are out all the application fees, but most were about $50, so it wasn’t a crazy amount of money. And it gave me some peace of mind to have done something. If you’re going to be part-time, be sure to ask the center if that’s an option. I’m pretty sure I visited a few centers that only enrolled infants on a full time basis.

      For infants, it seems as though most families in the DC area end up doing nannies, nanny shares, au pairs, or in-home daycare. We haven’t figured out what we’re going to do yet, so I can’t help with your question on daycare v. nanny. But if you think you might want a daycare option, start your search now!

    • new york associate :

      I don’t think there’s a magic solution. I do want to flag one good reason to have a nanny, though, and that is flexibility. I work in BigLaw and have a difficult commute; my spouse has a demanding job with a difficult commute. There’s literally no way we could reliably handle a daycare drop-off and pick-up. For us, a nanny has been an extremely helpful third adult in our home, who helps manage not just the children but also some housework, cooking, laundry, and errands. She benefits our whole family. It’s expensive, but we have two kids and it turns out that two kids in daycare/preschool is also expensive. So for the marginal cost of a nanny, we also get the benefits of a third adult. The drawback (other than the money) is that we also have to be employers, which is the worst. (We pay on the books. If you pay off the books, it’s much easier.)

      Good luck!

      • saltylady :

        Very true. Most daycare pickup times are 6pm, aren’t they. Some people choose a daycare close to work for this reason, and commute with the baby. It sounds like my personal hell but to each her own, and I guess that would be good for nursing during the day. I LOVED the third adult/light housework aspect of having a nanny. Even now with an after school sitter, I’m in love when she does stuff like empty the dishwasher or go buy me a lime for my recipe.

    • Mary Poppins :

      Thank you all so much for the helpful replies — I was leaning towards the “throw everything at the wall and see what sticks method” (including nanny shares) and this just confirmed it. So we’ll get on waiting lists now, despite my fear of jinxing things, and start exploring the nanny option around the time the baby gets here.

      And as with most things baby-related, I need to keep reminding myself it doesn’t have to be perfect right away, we’re lucky in that we have many advantages other people don’t, most everyone else figures this out and my baby won’t be left at home alone in a playpen in an industrial-strength diaper surrounded by a day’s worth of bottles.

    • Workingmomz :

      I have done both. I like a nanny until around age 2, and then I prefer daycare. Good luck!

    • We chose daycare (3 kids) for the socialization aspects, and also because I struggle with the idea of a nanny. I know that it can be an amazing experience if you find the right person, but finding someone I trust with my child and being in my home on a daily basis has always seemed very daunting to me. With daycare, there are always multiple adults around, rooms that are open and visible to the hallway (half walls for the older kids, glass doors/walls for the babies), and a video camera where I can watch my baby/kids. Honestly, I don’t very often, but I feel like the knowledge that the cameras are there is a deterrent in case one of the workers isn’t as wonderful as they all seem (or has a day where they aren’t as wonderful as they can be).

      My youngest is around 5 months, and you can see the socialization benefits from the beginning. She started at 12 weeks. She has always responded happily to seeing all the faces–the other babies (her age and the crawlers/walkers–room goes to 12 months) and her caregivers. Just in dropping her off and seeing how she reacts to the other babies coming over to see her, it’s clear how she is benefiting from the socialization. I also think seeing the other babies do stuff that she wants to do helps with development. She’s surrounded by caregivers who genuinely enjoy babies and understand how to help them in their development–and who genuinely adore her.

      So, for us it’s been a great choice. Our daycare has pretty good hours–6:30 to 6:30, but it works despite my BigLaw job because my husband does pickup, so it’s not an issue if I have to work late.

      Good luck!

  6. Anon Tax Rookie :

    I’m clearly doing something wrong when it comes to taxes, as in the past two years I’ve ended up owing $5-6k of federal taxes when I work out my tax return (via Turbotax). I know I should get a professional to have a look at it (and this year I will), but I would love to hear your thoughts as there are a lot of smart ladies on this site.

    Here’s my situation: Income of $230k (Biglaw), with bonus it’s >$250k. Single. Renter, so no mortgage. Live in CA. No dependents.

    I max out my 401(k) every year. I’m over the income limit for a deductible IRA. My number of deductions on my W4 is set at 0, so I would think that I’m paying lots of tax already. I don’t have much I could claim as itemized deductions (I think just some charity donation, car registration fees, and any other minor things Turbotax is prompting me to enter.)

    Should I instead work out how much federal tax I think I’ll owe and ask my work to withhold an additional amount every month, so I don’t get hit with this big tax bill every year (I pay the tax bill out of savings.) Anyone out there in a similar situation who has figured out the best way to prepare for / deal with this.

    And finally, any recommendations for a tax professional in San Francisco?


    • Assuming you can’t find other deductions, there is a worksheet on the IRS website where you can figure out how much extra you should be withholding per paycheck to avoid a big bill. You need a pay stub on hand to complete it. DH and I have to do it each year since when it comes to taxes the sum of our income is greater than the parts.

    • Try using the IRS withholdings calculator online. I find it’s much more accurate so I don’t get hit with a huge tax bill.

    • Curious CPA :

      I work in tax and unless I’m missing something, it’s probably your bonus tht is messing thins up if you aren’t having tax taken out of it or just aren’t having enough taken out.

      • Usually taxes are withheld on the bonus at an even higher rate, unless the OP has requested otherwise.

        • I missed that you are a professional – you probably know better than me…

          • Curious CPA :

            Depends, sometimes people have to elect separate withholding percentages for bonuses. But it seem alike the OP is having enough withheld from the bonus so that’s not the issue here. Perhaps the OP has dividend or interest income? To tell you the truth, the best way to get advice would be to have someone well-versed in individual tax look at your last year’s return. That would allow for a better picture overall.

      • Anon Tax Rookie :

        I am having tax taken out of it (automatically, before it hits my account) – the tax taken out in 2013 was around 38% of the bonus amount.

    • Yes, up your withholding to avoid penalties. We’ve been doing this for years because we are subject to the AMT. If you are consistently underwithheld by $5-6K, divide by the number of pay periods to determine how much extra to withhold from each paycheck. You can do this easily without professional help.

      When I was young, I was told not to overwithhold so as not to give the IRS an interest-free loan, but with interest rate what they are today, the forgone interest is not so much, right? Worth the peace of mind of not getting hit with a big tax bill and worse, penalties.

      • Anon Tax Rookie :

        Yeah, I think it’s the AMT that scr*ws things up. I didn’t use to get hit with this tax bill and in past years I’ve had a refund instead, but in the last two years it’s been all money owed and none back (although I do get some state tax back).

        • Curious CPA :

          It may or may not be AMT, depends on what other things you have on your return.

          • Anon Tax Rookie :

            The weird thing is that my return is super simple. I have probably $400 of interest/dividends in addition to my work pay. Nothing else.

      • Anon Tax Rookie :

        And agree – I’ve been told the same re: not giving the IRS an interest-free loan, but at this stage I’d rather pay the correct tax throughout the year instead.

    • The first and last time that happened to me, I took my payment amount, divided/26, added $10 and included that as my extra withholding. So far, so good.

      • Anonymous :

        CPE here – agreed. Assuming nothing has changed from the prior year (no new dependent, purchase of home, etc.) take the $6,000 you were underpaid last year and divide by 24 or 26 paychecks and have payroll take out that additional amount each payday. Do the same for state.

    • SFAttorney :

      I’ve used Anspach Financial Services in San Rafael for years and recommend them. Gary Anspach is my accountant.

      • Anon Tax Rookie :

        Thanks, just looked them up and they have good reviews. Do you have to meet with them in person or do you do everything over email/phone. I’ve never had to use an accountant before.

    • Look at the W4 form instructions for the worksheet on calculating the extra to withhold. “Zero” on that form is probably insufficient in your case.

  7. Joanna Toews :

    TJ – Do any of you ladies have BPPV (benign paroxymal positional vertigo)?

    I was just diagnosed yesterday. It seems my episodes last days at a time; I’ve been getting them regularly since I got pregnant back in October. I hope they’ll go away, or at least get less frequent, once I have the baby… but the doctor advised that BPPV tends to be a lifelong thing and there are very few treatments that work reliably.

    Assuming I’ll have these regularly for the rest of my life… I still need to work, which involves looking at a computer screen for extended periods of time. Right now, when an episode hits, I can’t do that: I lose concentration, feel sick, and just want to close my eyes and lie down. Obviously, naps and sick days aren’t a sustainable solution.

    So… how do you handle it? Are there any sort of ergonomic adjustments that have worked for you? What sort of acommodations can you reasonably get from your employer?

    • Joanna Toews :

    • I was just diagnosed with this too. It sounds like mine is less severe than yours, but it’s also directly linked to how I move my head, so I’ve learned to sort of guard against those movements. My doctor recommended a maneuver that can help, and I’m planning on going back and having him show me how to do that soon.

    • "Allergies" PSA :

      Since my sinus surgery in late 2012 (if you are a glutton for punishment, you can read about it in past comments on thissite), whenever I get a cold or a bad sinus period, I get dizzy. Something to do with muck interfering with my cilia in my inner ear. The weird part is that it only happens when I am getting up/going down.

      It goes away when I get better. But, as my cold gets better, it starts happening only when I am getting up/going down from/to a position of being flat on my back. (Also, sometimes when I am flat on my back and move my head from side to side.) The MD said that is because the area in the inner ear where the sensors are is covered by the much when I lie down but not when I am upright (kind of like how you have to have your car on flat ground to get an accurate read of the gas tank.)

      In the meantime, I behave like an old lady when I get up/go down: do it slowly, do it in stages, hold on to something strong and fixed (and trust the stable object more than my own sense of where the ground is). During the worst sessions, I get the nausea that you describe. For me, it lasts only a few seconds, so I just wait it out. I don’t have any other suggestions for you.

      Don’t know if this helps, but wanted you to feel not alone.

      • Anon woozy :

        I have found that 25mg of meclazine really helps this, esp. when it is allergy or sinus related. I buy generic at the pharmacy; much much cheaper than the original version of Dramimine.

        • "Allergies" PSA :

          Thanks! I will ask my MD.

        • Joanna Toews :

          Oooooh, looks like Meclizine is category B for pregnancy. Interesting. I’ll run that by my doc. Thank you so much!

      • Yikes! I had terrible vertigo when my sinus infection/hoarseness were at their worst. When I would try to sing, it took so much effort to push the air through that it would cause vertigo. I got dizzy during church, but the worst was one rehearsal where I almost couldn’t drive myself home. Thankfully, it has cleared up and I’m now able to sing.

    • Cleveanon :

      No accommodations here, but I was diagnosed with the same thing when I was pregnant. I got a second opinion: vestibular migraines, likely due to the hormones. I have not had a dizzy spell since delivery. Just a hopeful note for you!

      • Joanna Toews :

        Ooh, I’ll check that out. That sounds a lot more plausible to me than position-related vertigo, since I’m dizzy ALL the time. Thank you so much for the hopeful thoughts!

    • I’ve been dealing with this for about 2 years. My symptoms are cyclical – definitely worse just before and during my period. I always have a bottle of Meclizine (25mg) with me and take it as soon as I start to feel a dizzy spell come on. I also find that if I spend too much time staring at my computer, my symptoms start and I have to turn off my monitor and look away. When you feel a spell come on, do not close your eyes – instead, focus on a solid object about 5 feet in front of you and try to clear your mind. The first few times that I had episodes, I panicked and I think that made it much worse.

      As far as work accommodations, I had one of the fluorescent bulbs removed from each of the overhead light fixtures in my office. I also bought an anti-glare screen cover for my computer monitor. I also keep a stash of plastic grocery bags in my desk drawer in the event that my dizzy spell is so bad it makes me nauseous. Sometimes, however, there isn’t much I can do but wait for the dizziness to pass.

      Per my physician, I have reduced my sodium intake to 1200 mg or less per day as it is shown that sodium can trigger BPPV attacks. I have also eliminated most caffeine (the occasional chocolate treat or caffeinated soda is okay) and increased my water intake each day.

      Since there really is no cure, the best advice I can offer you is to find ways to manage your symptoms and try to learn to detect when a dizzy spell is coming on so that you can do whatever is necessary to stop it. Best of luck to you! If you have other questions, feel free to e-mail me at mujd r e t t e at the email that ends with yahoo (without the spaces).

  8. Thanks for the Note taking advice! :

    I forgot to say thank you the other day for the note taking suggestions so thank you! I think I might try the note card thing and also the zotero–both of which I briefly tried in undergrad and promptly abandoned. But I realize that having no system is not working so I guess it is time to knuckle down and just follow through with one of them for a whole project.

  9. My bonus was larger than usual this year due to a good year (yay!). Most of it is going into savings/investing, but I want to set aside about $700-800ish to buy myself something nice.

    I was thinking of purchasing myself a piece or two of high end luggage (Tumi, Briggs & Riley, etc.) as my treat. I’ll be travelling more for work this year and think it would be something useful yet special. Are there any particular brands or pieces that you’d recommend?

    Alternatively, I’m not 100% sold on the luggage idea, so if you were working with my budget, what would you buy yourself?

    • Anne Shirley :

      A year of housecleaning.

      Or- $300 worth of luggage and a $400 plane ticket to Prince Edward Island

      Orrrrr- a new bookshelf and a slush fund for trinkets to put on it

    • Anon in Chicago :

      I’ve purchased tumi luggage for my husband and he says it makes his travel so, so much better. I bought him a largel carryon/laptop bag that is TSA approved so no need to remove laptop at security. And that bag goes with the wheeled carryon size garment bag. When he travels for work, this is all he needs and none needs to be checked.

      Personally, I could care less about luggage and would buy a nice bag or pair of shoes, but if you want luggage. Tumi is an awesomew ya to go.

    • I would also do luggage. I’ve been flying a lot, and I think good luggage would save the wear and tear on my body from shlepping through airports all the time, so it would be totally worth it. I would do a spinner from Tumi.

      And/or I would spend it on an awesome trip somewhere. I have miles saved up, so I could theoretically use the cash for a nice place to stay in Paris/London, somewhere that is normally expensive to travel to.

      Congrats and Treat Yo’Self!!

    • I personally would go for a nice purse and/or a nice wool coat or trench coat. But, I’m in the middle of winter & my next planned travel is months away.

    • If you travel a lot, good luggage is a worthy splurge. Keep in mind that Neiman Marcus and Nordstrom both often have sales on the high-end bags and I’ve bought great bags at stores like Ross and T.J. Maxx. Bags take a beating so I’d hesitate on spending $700-800.

    • Highly recommend Briggs & Riley. They have the best warranty in the industry. I spent a lot on my dream suitcase and will NEVER have to buy luggage again. I liken it to the Patagonia premium–if a zipper breaks–send it back and voila! new jacket. Same idea for Briggs and Riley. Plus, it’s stylish. Briggs covers ANY damage, even if it was the airlines’ fault, no questions asked. Go to any high-end luggage store–they will tell you that Briggs will replace or fix anything, free. It’s awesome.

    • If you do luggage, please get a good sturdy spinner (samsonite makes great ones) I travel often and only use my spinner and it makes getting through the airport, into the tiny airplane via the narrow aisles SO. MUCH. BETTER. Unless Briggs makes spinners, I’d go the samsonite route. NB: My friend got a cheaper spinner and it didn’t handle bumps on the sidewalks in London as well as my samsonite did.

      If you stalk sales/Macys you can get the spinner for just under $200, which leaves $500 for a nice purse :)

  10. We are having a vicious fight in our small office regarding appropriate thermostat tempurature. Unsurprisingly, it’s boys v girls. What do you guys think is a reasonable temp?

    • Yikes that typo. Temperature. Jeez.

    • 70.

    • Somewhere in the range of 68-74 F is acceptable room temperature to me.

    • Now I’m finding myself wondering what the appropriate temperature for making tempura is. Yum.

    • 80

      but i’m always cold.

      • Please come talk sense into my office. I am so sad to see everyone saying such low numbers! We are at 73 right now and I am frozen solid.

        • Oh, sorry, i’ve never been able to convince anyone else of that either…. that is only the ‘appropriate thermostat temperature’ in my imaginary office in my head. ;o)

        • Anon in Chicago :

          Wow. I’d be dying if it was 73. We keep our house around 62.

      • for context, currently in my Oakland office, the thermostat says 72, but the thermostat is a pathological liar. It is probably more like 64*, and I am wearing layers of wool, a sweater, a heavy scarf, have a heated blanket on my lap and am wearing fingerless gloves.. and am about to get another cup of hot tea. I am redonk.

        • My office is just like that. And the cubes / offices against the walls are colder than in the center of the room, no matter what the thermostat says. And 2 cubs have constant cold air blowing all winter, no matter what the HVAC guy does, including re-routing the air return. yikes!

      • Gah! I’d fall asleep immediately if it were that warm. I prefer 68-72, but I tend to run warm, and I also find that it is too warm for my liking in my office.

      • 80 degrees (at least) is my ideal temperature too. Always, always cold.

    • I am constantly hot, so anything over 71 is torture for me. Plus, it’s easier for the cold one to throw on a sweater than for the hot one to carry around a fan.

      • In principle, I agree. But when it’s four cold ones v two warm ones (with suit jackets they can remove) I’m feeling much less reasonable, haha.

      • Sorry – I can only throw so many sweaters on my hands before they start to freeze and interfere with my work.

    • hoola hoopa :


      73 seems really high to me. Put on a sweater and blanket and/or use a microwavable heat pad. I get chilled at the office, too, but it needs to be comfortable for everyone and it’s easier to warm up than cool off.

    • Anonymous :

      I’m very pregnant and the only acceptable temperature to me right now is around 47 degrees. And I need to be naked, too.

      (Seriously, who knew extreme overheating and excessive sweating was a pregnancy symptom?)

      In a serious answer to your question, I think low 70s is reasonable and lovely. 68 feels too cold to me (in my normal state).

      • Cannot. Stop. Laughing.

      • Ugh. For my last, I was pregnant in the summer. Work is lucky I remained clothed and they didn’t have crazy, nekkid pregnant woman running up and down the halls. Between the heat and overall itchiness, I couldn’t stand my own skin, let alone clothes.

    • 71 or 72. Also, be sure that you don’t have cold/hot spots in the office. The back part of our office (and anything with windows) is notorious for being colder than the interior of the office. So the theromstat gets set at 72, so that it’s closer to being 68 in the cold spots. And yes, those people are wearing sweaters, down vests, hats, arm warmers and wool socks as needed.

      • Could you get a space heater for your area? My office is cold too, and my space heater is on every day (including the summer)

        • Wildkitten :

          When I run my space heater I end up freezing but with sweaty feet. FWIW – Cap Hill Style recommends a heating pad.

  11. Anon - Time "wasting" help? :

    My office has been VERY slow lately, so I’ve been doing a lot of time-filling. My company basically wants employees in chairs from XX-XX time just in case work comes in. My issue = I put myself on a spending freeze this month. I am really struggling to find time-wasting activities that don’t involve buying something! Every blog I read is about clothes that I “need”, home improvement projects I “need”, vacations I “need”, etc. Any suggestions?

    I’ve already done the following: organized my email, overhauled my computer file organization, done enough continuing ed. courses for the next three years, cleaned entire desk, organized finances and updated all budgets, paid bills, sent catch-up emails to friends, meal planned, looked up workouts.

    • Take a class for fun or for your career on Udacity, Coursera, or EdX! I know you said you took continuing ed classes, but maybe a fun one would be a change of pace.

      Also, you can read classic books on PDF. I read part of Little Women on my monitor on a slow day.

      • Gail the Goldfish :

        Ooh, Coursera. If you happen to find genetics interesting, I’m going to put in a plug for a professor I worked for in college who’s teaching a Coursera class on Intro to Genetics: He’s awesome.

        • I just enrolled for a coursera course. First timer. It starts on Monday. I don’t understand if I’m supposed to be sitting in front of my computer or some device at a particular time, or if that’s the date when the material becomes available. Since thousands might sign up for the course, it’s probably useless to post a question there, so I thought I’d post it here. I see many more useful answers to all kinds of questions on this list.

    • hoola hoopa :

      Read ebooks. Your public library probably has them for free, but they are also pretty cheap in terms of cost per hour.

    • – you can spend hours there

  12. hoola hoopa :

    I’m looking for a medium purse (ideally 8” by 10-12”) that has two or three main compartments but only a single strap. <$200. Ideas?

    • Killer Kitten Heels :

      The JPK Paris Medium Bucket Bag – single strap, around that size, and simple but pretty.

      • hoola hoopa :

        It seems to only have one main compartment though. That’s the sticky part: Single strap AND 2 main comparments.

        A larger version of Fossil Memoir would be great, but alas, they don’t make a larger version.

        • Killer Kitten Heels :

          The internal pockets in mine are a lot larger than I expected based on photos – I guess technically they’re not “main” compartments, but I keep my Kindle in one pouch and my makeup in the other.

          • Check out Chameleon dot com purse organizers, which I think I found from this list last year. I don’t have to do anything other than lift the organizer from one bag to another and I’m good to go.

    • My mom is in love with Baggallinis, but that may be a little more casual than you are looking for.

  13. Anon for this :

    Husband and I are 30 and have no kids yet. I am ready to get going. I want them, my job status is good and stable, and I’m rarin’ to go. Husband is not there yet. We’ve talked in the past in broad strokes about when we’re going to have kids, but up until about 4 months ago, we both agreed that we weren’t there yet. I made a somewhat joking comment last night to him that I want to start trying (after finding out that yet another couple we know is pregnant), and he kind of laughed, looked me in the eye, and said “I’m not ready yet.”

    I feel like I need to stop joking around, and initiate a serious conversation. I need to get my expectations in line, and I need to know that he’s taking this seriously. I think I want to know why he’s not ready for a baby, or what he needs ot happen in our life before he’s ready. Has anyone had this conversation before? Any tips?

    • Caveat – I have never had this conversation, but…

      “All kidding aside, Hubby, I am ready for xyz reasons. I know you are not quite there yet, so I’m wondering if there is something specific holding you back. Because fertility and pregnancy can be time sensitive issues, I don’t want to wait too much longer to get started. What are your thoughts?”

      And then listen.

      • Killer Kitten Heels :

        Minor edit – I’d remove the part about “I know you are not quite there yet” – since they haven’t had a real conversation about this yet, I think it’s premature to put words in H’s mouth. I’d stick with “I’m ready for XYZ reasons, and I don’t want to wait to much longer to start. What are your thoughts?”

        • Fair point. I was trying to capture what H had said previous, so my minor edit would be “You have said you aren’t ready yet..blah blah blah the rest”

      • Anon in NYC :

        Agree with this. Once the seal has been broken, you can start getting into details. How many kids do you want? What sort of age gap do you want between kids? Assuming you want biological kids, what is the last age you’re willing to have them? (FWIW, my ob-gyn said that fertility begins to decline around 35, but there is a sharper drop around 38-ish, so 35 doesn’t have to be a firm deadline). How old do you want to be when your kids graduate from high school / college?

        Those types of questions helped me and DH. I don’t think either of us feel “ready” (and I’m more ready than my DH), but we have a better handle on our timeline.

        • Anon for this :

          Thanks! Those are good specifics. I know we both want 2, about 2 years apart (in a perfect world). Other than that we haven’t discussed any of these other points.

    • Not to be a downer, but maybe you need to phrase your conversation in terms of “will you be ready in the next year” and if so, get thee going. I went through something very similar with my DH, and when he was finally ready, he expected to happen like yesterday…

      9 months and counting, and still nada, which is quite discouraging. Good luck.

      • Anon for this :

        This is all really helpful. What do I do if he can’t give me a concrete answer? Is it unfair for me to expect him to have this figured out; i.e., am I supposed to respect the answer that he isn’t ready, but isn’t able to identify why?

        • Anon for this :

          Let me rephrase, because that sounds wishy-washy. At this point I want a clear answer. I am going to ask him to give me his reasons why he wants to wait longer, and to work with me to establish some timeline that will work for both of us. I don’t think that I’m asking too much. But, if he does come back at me with a “I can’t tell you exactly why, I just know I’m not ready yet,” I want to be able to explain clearly why I think that’s not fair to me.

        • I think if this is the first time you’re having the conversation seriously (since you’ve become ready), you need to give him time & space to think about it. Talk about it and if he says he’s not ready, respect it. Say okay and mean it. Then set a date to talk about it next — say, in 3 months. Don’t bug him about it in the interim. Maybe share with him that many women experience their bio clock as totally-silent-for-years and all of a sudden EXTREMELY LOUD. You have time. You also have things you can do (like be proactive about your fertility with your OB/Gyn). Good luck!

        • Anon in NYC :

          It is unfair for you to expect him to have this figured out now. Just 4 months ago you were both saying that you weren’t ready. Your position has now changed, and that’s perfectly okay, but he might need a little more time to catch up. I think you should tell him that you’re actually serious about having kids now. If he tells you that he’s not ready, obviously you should ask him why, but be prepared for the fact that he may not be able to articulate it right now. If he can’t, ask him to think about the reasons why he’s not ready.

          Some of the reasons I / DH have felt not ready – 1) still feeling a bit like a kid ourselves, 2) money concerns (not enough), 3) time concerns (losing flexibility, suddenly having too many demands), 4) job concerns (my job is really demanding, could I do both?), and 5) not owning the place we lived (DH had an idea that we would own a place before we brought a kid home).

          • Anon for this :

            Yeah, you and preg 3L are right, I think. I can’t just do a switcheroo and expect him to be able to respond to me right away.

        • Anon in Chicago :

          If you are on the pill, I’d go off it now (telling him of course) and use other BC methods until you are ready to try. That way, you can eliminate the time (sometimes months, sometimes longer) it takes to get that out of your system.

    • saltylady :

      I had a very similar conservation with my husband when we were about that age. He wanted kids but “wasn’t ready.” I remember crying in some restaurant. He must have been ready a few months later because we started trying, I was pregnant six months later or so. It wasn’t anything super serious, he just wasn’t as jumpy as me.

    • Anonymous :

      I’ll just tell you what I did. I made it clear I was ready. He was not. Fine. I said, “Okay, well, I am ready so now you know. I am not going to bring this up or bug you about it for X period of time. If you change your mind or want to talk about it, let me know.” Then I made an effort to really focus on having fun with him, doing things that made me happy, exercising and having lots of great s e x. He came back to me in two months and said “let’s do this.”

      • +1.

      • I did something similar. We had a conversation in October, where I made it clear that I was ready, and he made it clear that he wasn’t. We agreed to revisit it in a couple of months. At his 33rd birthday dinner the next February, he said “Go ahead and stop taking the birth control.” Our daughter was born almost exactly a year later. I really think he needed that no-pressure time to clear his head and think it through.

  14. Talk me into a Grownup bag? :

    Thanks everyone for your morning advice on buying a new grownup bag (and sorry about the weird positioning of my posts!).
    Killer Kitten Heels, I know you said the Target bag that I posted didn’t look professional, and I’m genuinely wondering why. I have no idea about bags, and I don’t know what would make something unprofessional – is it just the coral color? Or something about the shape?
    For context, I am typically dressed in neutrals and black, and my bag would be the only pop of color. I’m also in a business casual office, and tend to dress more business than casual (so cardigans, pencil skirts – whereas there are plenty of others in jeans). So I’d think almost any bag would work.
    I see that Amazon has this Kenneth Cole bag, and I like the look of it:
    Is this an appropriate bag? I’m willing to pay more, but still searching for more premium bags that meet my needs.

    • Blair Waldorf :

      Jumping in because I was following the earlier thread. I think this bag looks more professional because it’s more structured and has nice, simple detailing with the corner pockets. The bag you posted earlier was really cute, but was not as structured so to me read more casual.

      Think of this one as having a mini-briefcase shape, which makes it more professional. Then you can add a pop of color once you have the structure. I think in general you can get away with a looser shape if you stick with a more neutral color, but it depends on the bag!

    • Killer Kitten Heels :

      Late to respond, but the issues for me with the bag was the combination of the color, the cut of the bag, and the material. I think, if you want a bright bag to look professional, the cut and material have to look professional – a structured, leather bag in coral would be awesome, but a bag that’s coral, and slouchy, and fake leather (and I’ve seen the Target bags in person, they’re visibly fake leather, even from a distance) just doesn’t match. Especially as you’re describing the rest of your wardrobe – it sounds like you dress really professionally, so for me, a bright slouchy casual bag would be really jarring and wouldn’t go with the rest of your look.

      Coach Factory is actually having a great sale right now. If you go to www[dot]coachfactory[dot]com and sign up for their email list, you can get access to their sales. Specifically look for the Campbell Leather Belle Carryall – it’s available in red, it’s 70% off, and it – to me – is the more professional version of the Target bag you posted yesterday.

  15. Free horses in Ohio :

    I know some people here are horse people so they might know someone interested

    FREE HORSES!!!! 52 thoroughbred horses need homes. Will go to Sugarcreek this Sat. for slaughter.Gentleman died and his son wants nothing to do with them. Most broodmares are broke and some are in foal weanling, yearlings, 2 yrs and 3 yrs old most are gelded.FREE and papered. Friend of the deceased is trying to find homes. 440-463-4288 Barnesville, OH. Please copy and paste this on your status Like · · Share

    • Mary Ann Singleton :

      This was doing the rounds on FB some months ago (when I think it may have been true, and was partly verified by a friend in OH). Definitely no longer true – not sure why this has started doing the rounds on FB again. The “Saturday” deadline was months and months ago.

      • I tried to verify this when it showed up on FB this week and couldn’t find any actual dates on it. I hope they all found homes, whenever this was!

  16. ok, really, I am literally the Worst Procrastinator ever.. I have to give a presentation in an all staff meeting tomorrow and i have been putting off making the Power Point and the hand out all day and all night. What is wrong with me!?? rawr

  17. Howdy! I could have sworn I’ve visited this blog before but after going through a few of
    the posts I realized it’s new to me. Anyways, I’m definitely
    happy I found it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back frequently!

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