Coffee Break – Missoni Stripe Scarf

Missoni Stripe Scarf Another gift idea that I always love (particularly for my MIL): scarves. If there’s someone who you know wears a lot of scarves but doesn’t necessarily splurge on bigger brands, it can be fun to indulge in a fancier scarf for each holiday — you’re helping her to build her collection and giving her something you know/hope will be actually used. ShopBop has a bunch of Missoni scarves on sale right now, including this one — it was $180 but is now marked to $126. Missoni Stripe Scarf



  1. Just finished a big presentation that I was up all night worrying about, what a relief. Now, is it Friday yet? :)

  2. style advice needed... :


    Belts. Where’s your favorite place to by a good, classic, quality belt? Especially in light of holiday sales… Links to your favorite belt are appreciated.

    And with the variety of pant waists these days (higher, lower, very low rise..), I find that the same belt does not work on multiple pants very well. For example, it can look not very nice to buy a longer belt that works when it falls lower, but then it has a long floppy end when you wear higher rise pants.

    My waist is small. My hips are full. I’m not even sure where to measure to choose a belt these days.

    Thanks! Sorry for the repeat post…

    • I am very happy with my Talbots belt.
      Their belts are genuine leather and, especially with the 40% promo going on, a great deal for the price.

    • I have a similar problem re: belts for waists and belts for hips. I remember reading here about buying two different sizes to avoid the “tail effect”. I don’t have any specific recommendations for quality belts, I have a few novelty ones from JCrew (hot pink) and BR (black with a tiny bow). It might be a matter of trying them on until you find good waist and hip sizes.

    • karenpadi :

      My best leather belt purchases were at summer festivals from leatherworkers. The booths have crazy-decorated leather goods but in the back they usually have a selection of plainer belts.

    • I don’t practice this, but someone with a lot more style than me said that you should buy belts really long and wrap them, getting extra holes punched as needed. I don’t know if this is a long-term solution or a trend.

      • style advice needed... :

        What do you mean by wrap?

        I have been trying to save some $$ rather then have tons of belts at different sizes, and have been taking my mom’s hand-me-down belts that are a little too long then ?wrap/tuck the ends like this… except with just one loop.

        But with my belts I find that this strains/puckers at times and can lead to quicker break-down, and may not look as clean/professional for work wear. Also, with a higher quality leather belt (especially wider/thicker) it often just doesn’t work.

        I suspect that what I really need to do is choose ONE style of pants to wear, with one rise of waist, and just have one belt that actually fits.

        • Miz Bizcuit :

          Woven/braided belts solve this problem too, because the belts are more flexible. This + infinite adjustability = Love!

          My links in previous post of the day are stuck in moderation. Go to and search for Tarnish Skinny Braided Leather Belt. The pic there shows how wrapping the excess works. Nordie’s also has a MICHAEL Michael Kors Braided Leather Belt that is very similar to my fave wide belt.

          Very 80’s, no?

    • Pear Shaped :

      I have the exact same problem, so I have 4 belts: 2 brownish and 2 black, in sizes for hips and sizes for waist. My belts aren’t very exciting, but they’re usually not visible anyway. I bought them all at Ross/Marshalls/TJ Maxx-type places. Don’t neglect to look over the men’s belts either – I find those to be wide and I like to wear them with jeans.


        Check out these belts, adjustable for any size waist/hips, and best of all, don’t show under snug tops if you are using it to keep your pants from gaping in the back (which mine usually do, due to my small waist/big hips!) Last time I went to Europe for 2 weeks this was the only belt I packed!

        • Hi gals,

          This is Claire, the Belt-Lady-In-Chief at Flatter:Me Belts – L2fly, thanks so much for spreading the word! I designed Flatter:Me because of the exact same problem you are talking about – big hips, big bum, and a small waist. I just wanted a comfy, adjustable belt that would still look classy, and had a huge team of women help me test out different prototypes ’til we came up one we loved. If anyone has any questions about them, feel free to email me directly!

          (I have to add, though, for classic leather belts, I highly recommend the ones at Roots – they last for ages, and the leather looks better and better as it ages.)

          Thanks again, L2fly,


  3. Where do you live, and at what temperature do you pull out your heavy coat?

    I’m in Houston and usually start wearing mine when it gets into the 60s, but my husband makes fun of me.

    • DC (but from Boston) and I get it out when the temps are in the 40s. Between 48 and 65, I wear a trench. If the temp drops to the low teens or below, I break out the parka (even to wear to work).

      • Sub leather jacket for trench and add a pea coat in rotation with the parka, and this is me.

      • kerrycontrary :

        In DC and I wear my wool dress coat at 45 and below, parka for 20s or below, and trench/pea coat/fleece for anything above 50. I can’t imagine wearing a winter coat when it’s 60 degrees but I’ve definitely seen other people do it.

    • Philly. When in 60’s I wear a very light short jacket. 50’s means trench coat. 40’s means lightly quilted hip length jacket. 30’s and below means my wool/cashmere knee length.

      • I should say that I’m rarely at “standing / sitting around outside” type activities – so mostly I’m walking around the city and keeping myself warm with my own power walking habits at the same time.

        • As I suspected, y’all are WAY tougher than me. My 60s coat is wool knee length, and I also do not stand around outside much. In fact, I’d wager I’m outside even less than you are since Houston is such a driving city and downtown is all connected by tunnels (for the heat during the summer, obviously not for our chilly winters).

          • Same here. I love the cold, but I’m always freezing!

          • If you’re talking Old Navy-type wool like JessC mentioned below, then I’m not all that surprised. Those are jackets I can wear from 30-50 degrees, I’d say. Since you’re used to much hotter weather, I can see you wearing it at 60 degrees.

            I live somewhere that gets much, much colder than 30, though, so I usually wear a heavy wool coat or parka below 30, and light wool, a trench, or fleece between 30-50. No coat or only a very light jacket above 50.

    • Diana Barry :

      Boston. When the high is in the 40s. If in the 50s, I wear trench (and not even for the high 50s). 60s, I wear just my blazer or suit jacket and may take it off if I am walking around.
      Ditto to TBK, I get out the parka if it is only in the teens.

    • Tampa, Florida. I pull out my “heavy” coat around high 50s, low 60s. And by heavy coat, I mean one of wool-blend ones from Old Navy.

    • Equity's Darling :

      Based on my google searches, the 60s is like 15C+. I definitely do not wear a jacket when it’s above 15C. I mean, maybe a light raincoat if it’s raining, but generally no.

      I usually do lined trenches from 10-15C (50-60F), light wool/thicker trenches from 0-10C (32-50), around 0 I’ll wear a light winter jacket or a down vest, and then from -5C (23F) I’ll start wearing a real winter jacket, and for anything colder it’s a matter of more and more layers underneath, and a warmer hat, scarves, etc. I usually go by the windchill temperature, because wind can really do a lot of damage.

      Sometimes my system falls apart, and I end up walking home from a party at 1am in -25C weather wearing a light wool jacket, and risking frostbite. Not like that happened this past weekend.

      I’m in Western Canada…if I went with a winter jacket in 60F/15C weather, I’d pretty much be wearing a winter jacket all year, except for 2 weeks at the end of July, because nights are still chilly in the summer here. :(

      • TO Lawyer :

        Calgary right? I was in Calgary in July and was actually shocked at how cool it was at night. I wore a blazer over a dress and would not stop whining about how cold I was and how much I missed Toronto at that moment in time

        • Equity's Darling :

          Yup, even on the hottest days here, it drops fast at night. It’s dry here, so it’s a bit like a desert in that there’s nothing to hold the heat in the air.

    • I don’t even wear a coat when it’s in the 60s. I just throw on a scarf with whatever sweater I’m wearing. One of my colleagues will wear a heavy coat if she doesn’t dress warmly otherwise. The only time I wear my long wool coat is if I’m traveling in colder climates or standing outside in the cold for long periods of time (like at a Mardi Gras parade). I used to have a more casual coat that I could throw on over anything but now I also have a fleece jacket that I’ll put on if I’m going someplace at night and need a coat.

    • 60 degrees?! That’s perfect fleece weather! :)

      Around 45 degrees, I wear either a lightweight peacoat or very light EB down jacket.
      Between 20-35 degrees, I wear the down jacket or a wool peacoat.
      When it gets below 15 degrees, I pull out the long puffer coat.

    • lucy stone :

      Wisconsin. Wool coat comes out at about 30, puffy down coat at about 5. Today it’s in the low 30s and I’m wearing a thick wool sweater, wool trousers, and a puffy vest as outerwear.

    • Coach Laura :

      It’s 40 in Seattle today and I didn’t wear a coat, just a scar and gloves with my suit jacket. If I’m just going from house to car to office to grocery store or dinner, I don’t wear a coat unless it’s 35 or so.

      If I have to stand and wait for a bus or walking around downtown, I’ll wear a raincoat down to 38 or so and a wool coat below that.

      I just don’t like wearing coats.

    • I’m in Scotland and pulled mine out in late September this year, I felt like such a baby but I could just not warm up.

    • Hawaii. I take out my fabulous Barney’s dark-grey curly-wool coat about once ever two years when I have to travel to the E. Coast in winter. My Burberry trench coat goes with me to S.F., where I go fairly frequently for 9th Circuit Oral Arguments. Otherwise: never. The warmest thing I wear here is my BB suit coat when I have to go to court. And an occasion light cotton or silk shawl. No boots (darn), tights, gloves, earmuffs. It’s 75 degrees today and will go down to the high 60s if we are lucky.

      OOOh. except when I need my heavy-duty northern exposure jacket, with gloves, when I snow board down Mt. Maunakea,on the Big Island where is gets under 20 degrees. My best day last winter vacation was snow boarding down the mountain (which is covered with awesome observatories), and then surfing on the coast about two hours later.

      As we say, “lucky you live Hawaii.”

  4. anon this time :

    I am patiently waiting for an announcement that I have been told by a number of partners is coming today and IT IS KILLING ME. KILLING ME I TELL YOU.

  5. anon today :

    I made director! (I can’t tell anyone until next week, except my husband, so SILENT YAY!)

  6. @b23: Didn’t get to respond to the robe question yesterday.

    If I was splurging on a new robe, I might get something like this:

    Nordstrom had something similar and on sale but it appears sold out ( (I would normally never do this print because it’s so obvious but I love the color and who is going to judge me at home? ;))

    If silk’s not your thing, these look very cozy: 0

    Also, check out Natori (great robes and great prints) and Anthropologie (the softest fabric ever). Make sure you look at fabric content – you don’t want something too synthetic, it will tend to smell quickly.

  7. anonymity J :

    There have been some recent discussions about anonymity on this site, and I’ve been thinking about it myself. I find myself wondering if any of my friends or coworkers read or post here! Do you ever mention the site in real life? How comfortable are you sharing personal information under the same handle (I am not, so I go anon for almost everything)?

    • Only two of my IRL friends know I read this website and post here (neither of them are co-workers). I now have some friends from this site who obviously know who I am. If I have something private that I want to post about, I’ll go anon.

      And the woman who sits outside of my office has been burping loudly the last few afternoons after lunch. It is disgusting. I don’t know what she’s having for lunch, but I wish she’d stop.

    • I share some things under my handle, but there are definitely some I go anon for. My husband knows what my handle is but specifically does not look at this site because he respsects my privacy. But I don’t share anything here that would out me — there are specifics in my life that would make me identifiable immediately if you knew me and I don’t talk about them here. I also count a bit on the fact that comments are never aggregated. You might remember that someone wrote A, B, and C here but most people won’t necessarily notice that those were all written by the same person. Generally, I think people here know that I’m a lawyer, I worked in BigLaw, and I live in DC (because I’ve said each of those things many, many times here). Those could apply to about 1,000 other people. Other things I expect to have fallen through the cracks.

      • LadyEnginerd :

        Yeah, it would be easy to find me if there was an easy way to aggregate comments (please don’t take that as an invitation). But my workplace is lax, politics aren’t the limiting factor in my advancement at work, and I’d way rather someone find my handle here than something like an internet dating profile.

      • I count on the non-aggregation thing, too, but I would caution that some people on this site have wicked good memories – I’ve been caught using another handle a couple of times by it.

        • This has also happened to me. It’s creepy when someone says, “Oh, you’re looking for work already? Didn’t you just post two weeks ago that you started at a new job?” (Not an exact quote, but something similar.)


          But then I realize, it’s my own fault for putting personal things in a public forum on the Internet.

    • Hm, this is an interesting question for me, especially since I’ve started linking to my blog in my handle. I do mention [this website] in real life every once in a while, usually when I’ve found out about some cool thing like Boda Boxes and people want to know where I encountered it. I also tend to believe in sticking by my handle–since my first post, which was um, back in the spring of 2011 or so?, I’ve only made three or four anonymously. In general, I think that if I’m going to post a comment, it should be something I’m willing to put my name to. The exceptions were related to an extremely specific work-related question, and something personal that I have experienced, but don’t feel comfortable talking about with anyone IRL, either.

      With that said, to my knowledge I don’t know anyone IRL who reads or comments on [this website]. My industry isn’t very heavily-represented, so eh, while I tend to take basic precautions like not mentioning my employer by name, I don’t think anyone is likely to link what I write here to who I am professionally. Which is all kind of interesting, considering that I get a lot more personal in my blog, and all that information is a mere click away.

    • I think about this sometimes. I have given enough details about my life that I’m sure if someone wanted to, it would be pretty easy to track me down….why anyone would want to is beyond me. I do sometimes think about what I share on the site and try not to be overly personal. I tend to be a fairly private person in general, so I probably am less open about details of my life. I started posting here several years ago, and probably felt more anonymous then…now that I’ve been posting for this long, you could probably get a complete picture of who I am.

    • I don’t talk about this site at work. I found out about this site from a friend and I occasionally mention it in passing. I don’t write anything I don’t want attributed to me/my character/my reputation, so I feel fairly comfortable with what I post here.

    • karenpadi :

      My friends know I post here and, like EC MD, I’ve probably outed myself enough over time. If I out something about myself in a thread (e.g., my general location), I try not to mention any further details that day. Plus, all the Bay Area meet-up participants know exactly who I am. I’ve gone anonymous for some things that involve family or friends who are having a hard time and LGP things that I wouldn’t tell my parents. I go semi-anon (use my “initials”) for things that I don’t want to show up on google but I don’t mind if y’all know.

      I’ve come to accept that there are no secrets in real life, so why would there be any in the virtual world? That said, I have probably eliminated my chances of ever running for political office.

      • Susan (edna_mode_nyc) :

        On the other hand, your posts could have a similar effect as Obama’s writing about his drug use as a young man. They’d inoculate you from future “gotcha” type articles from the opposition.

    • Susan (edna_mode_nyc) :

      I thought about going anon when I was posting about bunions, and then I thought, oh never mind.

      I asked myself whether I’d really care if my coworkers (who already know I’m opinionated, scrappy, and interested in fashion) knew I had bunions and the answer was no, not really.

      Ultimately, I don’t think anybody’s interested enough to bother to figure out who I am. I am not as fascinated or EMPHATIC as ELLEN.

    • I’m somewhat sorry to say that I’ve occassionally thought of recommending this site to a few people I know (particularly our 3L law clerk – not because she’s bad at fashion, just because I think she’d like it), but I refrain because I don’t want to risk “outing” myself. I’ve known one other woman who mentioned reading this site, but she didn’t mention whether she’s into the comments or not, but I don’t know her very well and we’re not work connected enough that it would bother me if she realized who I was.

      I use this handle across the internet and have for several years, and I’ve been sloppy with it in the past, so I’m only minimally anon, I guess. If I want to say something that definitely should not get back to a co-worker/other, I change my handle.

    • SF Bay Associate :

      I don’t post anything under my normal handle unless I’m ok with people IRL knowing it’s me, including the fabulous ladies I’ve met through this site. I never participate in the “what are you wearing” threads. I don’t talk about this site at work. My DH is vaguely aware of the existence of the blog and knows I sometimes go to a “women’s group meet up” but isn’t too interested/ doesn’t care. I sometimes refer to this as my ladyblog. An acquaintence of mine referred me to this site a couple months ago and was like “You should check this site out!” and I pretended I’d never heard of it. Hee.

      • Yeah, I actually refrain from recommending the site to people I know (sorry Kat!). If they’re here already, I don’t recognize them and I don’t want to. As for when I’ve gone anon, it’s always been for work stuff where I don’t want to risk anyone connecting the dots and realizing who I am, or it’s about very personal stuff about other people in my life and I definitely don’t want to risk outing other people.

        • anon for this :

          If I mention this site to someone I only sort of know (for example, when I recommend a product I learned about here), I say that I never read the comments.

        • Meg Murry :

          I’ve also thought about recommending to a coworker or relative but held back (sorry). If one of my coworkers, family members, or college roommates is a very regular reader they might be able to put the pieces together as to who I am, but I hope not. I try not to say anything that would be a complete “aha” for one of my coworkers like mention our specific specialty industry or complain about company luncheons or holiday parties the day of. I don’t know that I would go to a meetup if there was one in my area since I like the illusion of being anon. There are a few posters who I’ve pictured in my mind though with a very specific voice & style, so it might be kind of shocking and dream crushing to meet them IRL

      • I also abstain from what you are wearing threads for mainly this reason.
        In other respects, I try not to disclose to0 much specific, identifying info, but I’d imagine anyone who actually tried could piece a good deal of it together. I am not sure what the big deal would be, but I have to confess I also enjoy the anonymity, esp. because it’s not in the true internet sense of no community. I really cherish the fact that there is this wonderful virtual break room of sorts here where I kind of know everyone but I can discuss things I may not want to discuss IRL, ask silly questions about work etiquette, or just get awesome recommendations for things I didn’t even know I needed.
        Funny enough, I’ve sometimes thought I “recognized” someone from RL on here, but as yet, it hasn’t actually happened.

      • Sydney Bristow :

        I’m sort of the same, so I’m not too concerned with sharing some things about myself and possibly outing myself. If I’m complaining about something at work or sharing something that I consider to be too personal, I’ll change my handle. I have shared quite a bit about my relationship with my mom, but I’m comfortable talking about it if someone recognized me here and brought it up. It’s not the sort of thing I bring up on my own o coworkers, but I wouldn’t mind them knowing.

        I do have 1 friend from real life who reads pretty regularly, but she knows everything about my life so it doesn’t matter what she sees here.

    • never mention it in real life. people are crazy silly about what they post here. a poster talked about my boss (who is her opposing counsel) the other day. my boss told her boss, and it turns out she is not even permanent! (and now won’t be, unfortunately, but I had to tell him)

      I remember some people got called out on outfits before too.

      • late but OUCH, kc. Why would you bring that up to your boss? Why did you think you “had” to tell him? I kind of assume we function under community of trust-type standards, and would refrain from throwing anyone under a bus IRL based on what we read here. She was undoubtedly unwise to post something so specific, I’m not arguing with that, but I am just shocked you would tell your boss, thus setting up a chain of events by which she will be unemployed.

        • Susan (edna_mode_nyc) :

          Also, was what she posted about your boss true?

        • I did not mean to make her unemployed, obviously. But my loyalty is to my boss, not to someone I don’t know who would talk sh*t about him. He is my real life friend, she is an internet stranger showing seriously poor judgment.

          • also just to clarify, she didn’t lose her job. she is just not going to be staying in the job she is in, it was during a try out period for a different position. really I don’t see how I am the wrong one here. People need to realize this site is read by hundreds and hundreds of people

      • wow

    • longtime reader :

      I mentioned this in another thread recently, but I’ve recognized two of my colleagues/acquaintances from the situations they posted.

    • MaggieLizer :

      I mention this site to people IRL but say something like “I love Kat’s recs! I think people comment about the picks? But idk I never have time to read the comments.” I’ve specifically avoided mentioning my exact geographic location, but maybe I’m just paranoid. I try to keep my posts pretty broad, or if I do include details, they’re things most people IRL don’t know about me anyway. I actually got caught once by a now-ex BF when I was posting for advice about him under an anon handle, so I’ve tried to be more careful!

      • omg I remember that! he was awful! and it was weird to have a boy here lol. I realize there is another kc here so I am going to switch to kv!

        • MaggieLizer :

          Oh he didn’t post, that must’ve been someone else’s horrible BF! Mine just called me out on it privately. At least he read all the comments?

          • ohh weird! Yes one time someone’s ex came on the site and posted! it was very weird. Who knew that horrible bfs would want to read this site.

      • One could also be misleading about one’s geographic area on purpose…

        Not that I’ve done that.

  8. What would you wear to a black tie wedding? Does that mean I have to wear a long dress?

    • Something from Herbie’s closet.

      • Ha – yes to that.

        I’ve recently decided to stop buying dresses for weddings because I usually end up wearing them once or twice. So I had decided to wear something I already have until I remember it is black tie. I really don’t want to buy something! And I don’t want to spend $100 to rent anything either. Bah.

      • +100

    • Research, Not Law :

      I’m in the PNW, so adjust accordingly. C-tail length has been common at the black tie weddings I have attended. I’d say it’s roughly 50/50, with more of the younger guests (<35) wearing knee-length. I see the difference in color, fabric, and accessories choices.

    • I’ve been to quite a few black-tie events in Dallas in the past few years and many women wore c tail length dresses. If you have a LBD that length, I’d glitz it up with metallic heels, awesome jewelry, and call it a night.

    • Black tie means evening gowns. And trust me, you do not want to be the one woman who shows up in a [email protected] or tea length dress. I did that a few years ago at a wedding of one of my husband’s friends. My husband neglected to tell me it was black tie and he wore a dark suit and I wore a tea length satin dress and it was a AWKWARD.

      • Completely disagree with this. Black tie means tuxedos for me. It does not dictate exactly what a woman would wear. If an invitation said “white tie”, then for sure it would be a formal gown for the women. But when a man wears a tuxedo, a woman may appropriately wear either a floor length dress or a shorter dress, provided that the shorter dress is very dressy — think velvet, satin, sequins, etc. There’s a difference between a cocktail dress and a formal dress, but that difference is not necessarily the length of the dress.

        • black tie = meaningless, arg :

          I agree with Gus’s disagreement. I went to a HUGE black-tie wedding in the South last year and was one of only two women in floor-length gowns. It was awkward and I felt really overdressed. Granted, all the guidance I found online said to wear floor-length for black tie events, but clearly that rule was not in effect in this crowd.

      • I think the traditional rule was that black tie meant tuxedos and floor length gowns. Now, I think it can range to include even dark suits with dark ties and dressy cocktail length dresses (i.e. if it’s short, it has to have extra oomph to make it formal enough). I think people have started to shy away from floor length gowns. However, as my mother said, being over dressed usually only means that you’re the best dressed person in the room – not a terrible problem.

    • I think strictly speaking, it means a gown, but you could likely get away with short in a dressy fabric and color (no pastels, etc). Because it’s a wedding, it’s likely that other guests will show up in non-gowns (as opposed to an event people “choose” to go to and is generally populated by people who frequent those types of events).

      I have a fancy wedding in a fancy part of the country this year and I’m probably going to wear a short, dressy dress I already own. I just can’t justify spending $200+ on a dress I’ll never wear again. I think I can dress up a short dress enough to not feel out of place.

      Another option that I’ve considered is Rent the Runway, but that’s still spendy. At least I won’t have to look at the thing languish in my closet as a constant reminder of wasted money.

      • I love it when people write exactly what I was planning to comment, thereby saving me the time it would take to type it out. So I will +1 your first paragraph and move along :)

    • Another option: you could just ask the bride what her idea of black tie is. I went to a black tie wedding for a friend, but she told me it was OK not to wear an evening gown.

    • I had to buy a full length dress for a wedding and I found it really fun to wear! If you end up going that route I recommend internet stalking a brand you know you love (where you’re sure of your size). I ended up with a Nicole Miller gown that was originally $700 for just over $100. And if you really think you’ll never wear a long dress again, you can always get it hemmed.

    • At every “black tie” wedding I’ve been to, almost all of the women wear cocktail dresses.

    • Depends on where the wedding is. Just giving Texas points of reference b/c I know you’re in Texas, if it is in Austin or San Antonio, you’d be fine in a range of dresses. If the wedding is in Dallas or Ft. Worth, I’d go old school long dress. If it is in Houston, I’d base my answer on venue- ROCC -long, more classic, Downtown- shorter/trendier, etc. So, I’d say it depends on the venue and crowd.

  9. My mom’s birthday is January 2 (joy for gift giving) and she has requested a new point and shoot digital camera with a viewfinder. She already has a DSLR that she uses for most important things, but she just wants one that she can drop in her purse for other things. I did a quick google search and the ones I could find with a viewfinder were either really cheap or not small point and shoot. I have a Lumix that I love but have mostly transitioned to just using my phone, unless there’s a big event or vacation.

    • Check Amazon. I think today’s gold box deal is a small point and shoot that looks nice.

    • Research, Not Law :

      I have a coolpix S3000 (one of the little, brightly-colored ones) that is very easy to drop in my purse. The pics aren’t as nice as my DSLR (as to be expected), but I’m very happy with the photo quality and video for a point and shoot.

      • Research, Not Law :

        I missed that she wants a view finder. That’s tough. (My parents also prefer a view finder). Mine does not have one, but another model might. This is our family’s third coolpix and we’ve been happy with all of them.

    • I bought a Kodak for $150 recently at a big box store. It has held up well.

    • another anon :

      Ha! I’ve just been researching the very same thing. Seems most point-and-shoot cameras don’t come with viewfinders anymore. Basically, the options are Canon A1200 or A1300 (under $100), Canon G12, or Nikon Coolpix P7100 (the latter two in the $350-ish range, and not quite as compact as the first two).

  10. Dear Internet Shopping Ninjas: help! I’m looking for a cute pair of white oxfords. I’ve looked in the usual places for me (Zappos, Nordies), but I’m not coming up with anything that doesn’t skew towards the old or clunky. I’m very conservative in the office, but my not-at-work style trends slightly hipster-ish. I’m willing to spend up to $200. Any suggestions appreciated!

    • Bass sometimes has some cute and not clunky oxfords. And I’ve seen a number of cute ones from Born. I’m in the market for cute and not clunky oxfords as well, but sorry, no links at the moment!

    • Hey — saw you just submitted this to my tumblr. Do you mean oxford flats or oxford heels?

      If heels, I kind of like these ones from Bass:

    • If you are looking for flats, what about these ones from Madewell?

  11. DC Stuffers :

    I am visiting friends over the holidays and we are doing a Secret Santa exchange, but most people are also bringing some stocking stuffer. I would like to bring something traditional to DC / the DC area. I was thinking candy or something small and uniquely regional. Any ideas? Thanks!!

    • What about the White House Christmas ornament?

    • The only food things I can think of are half-smokes and crabs, so not good stocking stuffers.

      Chuck Brown (RIP) CD?

      White House christmas tree ornament?

      • I know! I was thinking “a half-smoke from Ben’s Chili Bowl”? That would be a messy stocking.

    • I don’t know if it’s “traditional” DC, but I recently tried Green Hat Gin, made in the new (and only) distillery in DC. I don’t know if they sell little bottles of it, but it’s delicious if you like gin.

    • kerrycontrary :

      Dogfishhead beer (made in gaithersburg but still DC-ish) OR something from the gift shop at Mount Vernon if you have time to trek out there. I got an ornament, but they have so many DC themed gifts (like beer made from different presidents recipes, unique ornaments, jewelry). You could also give a box of georgetown cupcakes?

      • Just FYI, Dogfish Head is made in Milton, Delaware (but they have brew pubs in Gaithersburg and Falls Church).

      • Delawarean :

        Hey! That’s our beer. Don’t steal it!

      • SF Bay Associate :

        Dogfish Head IPA is my DH’s favoritest beer. There’s almost always a six-pack in our fridge. I really like their IPA and apricot one, and absolutely adore their peach beer.

    • Possibly helpful? :

      Gifford’s candy is local to DC (or maybe the close-in MD suburbs). They have chocolates, fudge (?it’s been a long time since I’ve been in one of their stores) and something buttery or taffy-ish if for some reason you don’t want to get chocolate. You might need to do some research, though. Last I heard, there was some sort of litigation re who did or didn’t have rights to the name. I don’t know what affect, if any, this had on the names of stores or brands of merchandise.

    • Thank you everyone!! White House ornament it is!

  12. Stocking Stuffers for Men? :

    Every year, I struggle with what to put in the Christmas stockings for my husband and dad, other than various kinds of candy/food treats they like. Gift cards are a no-go in my family. What can you give men that fits in a stocking and is inexpensive? Neither of them has any particular hobbies (other than golf, but my husband has long since asked that we stop giving him golf-related things that he’ll never actually use).

    • Small flask?
      Whimsical staple remover?
      Boxcutter shaped like fish (search “sarut box knife” in amazon) (other fish items, like staplers, are also available)
      Lottery tix
      Book on tape/cd?
      Pocket handwarmers?
      Fun flashdrives?

    • MaggieLizer :

      My family is pretty practical about stocking stuffers, so other people might have more fun suggestions. I always enjoy getting altoids, gum, pocket-sized packs of tissues, travel sized purell, travel sized body wash, toothpaste, tooth brushes, shaving cream, cough drops and other cold medicine (in preparation for winter), etc. I know it sounds boring but I love stocking (ha… ha….) up for the next few months and having things on hand for unexpected travel!

      • Meg Murry :

        other practical items: razors/razorblades, batteries, cellphone charger or case, underwear, tie
        we also tend to get more “manly” treat foods like jerky, hot sauce, etc

    • little bottles of the liquors they like are always popular. little gadgety things for their computers or phone. the men in my family like some of the little games and knick knacks from the museum stores, like little robots or fancy little building sets, etc. mostly we just do lots of food in our stockings though.

      • do they travel or camp? lots of fun little travel things: travel clock, gadgets, etc.

    • Does your husband open his stocking in front of the family? This year we’re stuffing stockings for ourselves (my husband and I) for the first time, so I’m getting a couple of lady garden times fun items (like um…fancy l&be, that sort of thing).

      As well as socks, a new hat, I think a deck of cards, and probably some candy I know he’ll like.

    • Research, Not Law :

      Coffee beans (I get the high-end stuff he loves to drink but not buy)
      Something related to a larger gift (ie, batteries, accessory)
      Stylus for tablet
      Bottle of beer
      Airplane folding book
      Desk calendar

    • kerrycontrary :

      Look at PaperSource. My boyfriend and I went in there the other day, and there were so many silly gifts that he liked. I’m going back this weekend to buy his stocking stuffers.

    • Tee shirt or workout shirt. My kids get something fun (like a dinosaur one); my husband gets a workout shirt, usu something I find on sale from backcountry dot com or road runner sports house brand.

      Other ideas for hubs: small bottle of bourbon, bag of coffee beans, sometimes a paperback. Running gloves, small flashlight.

    • SpaceMountain :

      Garden gnomes
      Baby panda

    • Anonymous :

      My dh is getting a stylus to use with a touch screen, a daily desk calendar with mind puzzles (he gets really bored at work) and Superman 4 DVD set I found for $15 at Winners (like Marshalls in the US). Oh, and a new pair of nice earbuds. In addition to treats & a gift card.

      Other ideas – scarves, gloves, slippers, grooming supplies – my dad always got shaving cream, but my dh uses shaving soap, socks, book, tie, puzzle type things – you know like two linked metal shapes that they have to figure out how to take apart, mug, travel mug

      • Forgot to say that for my kids we follow a formula – something they need, something to read, something to play with (something fun) and something to eat. And then usually a couple extras. Dh & I try to follow this loosely for our stockings as well.

    • It might be too late for this, but my BF is getting nice collar stays, a wine aerator, a biography he’s been meaning to read, and that Cards Against Humanity or whatever it’s called game in his stocking. I was trying to find something else but haven’t come up with anything yet!

    • socks. I like Happy Socks – colourful and not expensive.

  13. Anyone familiar with Rickshaw messenger bags? I saw one on the metro this week and thought the tweed version was adorable. Curious if anyone can comment on quality, etc.

    • I can NOT coment on the quality of these bag’s, but you should know that you realy should have LEATHER if you want a bag to last along time. Tweed and burlap and other stuff tend’s to pill after a couple of years. Who needs to pay alot of money for that? FOOEY!

      My lit bag has been with me for 5 year’s now, and I get it treated with SADDEL SOAP and MINK OIL every year so that it stay’s nice. Get LEATHER. It is better!

      Frank and the manageing partner were laugheing at me today b/c I told them they both need to clean up thier act’s. The manageing partner keep’s bringeing in FISH (fooey!) and Frank keeps eateing all kinds of junk and then goieng to the bathroom. Now that I am bringeing in my own cleint’s, I do NOT want to have them have to go to the building’s bathroom down on the 5th floor b/c our office smell’s so bad, and if they go down there, they can see other law firm’s who have a nice glass door, b/c we only have an OLDER wood door. FOOEY!

      I also told the manageing partner that I want my name put in alfaebeteically, so that I am the FIRST one. Thank GOD my name is still Barshevsky, so I can be on top! If I had married Alan, I would have had to become a Sheketovits, which is near the end of the alfaebet, so that would mean my name would be the last one. The manageing partner says he was planning on re-doing our door and putting his name first, b/c he is the MANAGEING partner. I said that is ELIETEIST, so NOT to do that. I will have to talk to other peeople about this to make sure he does NOT do anything to ELIETEIST when I am a partner. Yay!!!!!

    • I had a small tweed one and really liked it. However, my mom was ‘shopping my closet’ and absconded with it. It is locally made, fair labour practices, and I think the quality is quite good.

  14. Posted this late in the morning thread, so reposting. I am trying every possible avenue of recommendations! This is totally out there, but – can anyone recommend an endocrinologist in the Charlotte area that specializes in thyroid issues?

    • If you don’t get any recommendations, you might trying calling the Washington Endocrine Clinic in DC and see if they have a referral. I would trust anyone they recommended.

      • I’ve also heard UVA is supposed to have a great endocrine department—maybe they could suggest someone?

        • Darn! I just moved to the Charlotte area from Richmond, within easy reach of UVa. I will check it out.

  15. I’m looking for shoes to wear when I’m getting married. I need the shoes to be silver, and under 3″ heel. I’m looking for a vintage-y vibe, and closed toe preferred. It’s cold where I live, so no strappy sandals. Under $100.

    I ordered these, but they kind of cut into my foot. They are gorgeous, though.

    • These are more pewter than silver and they are peeptoe but:

      There’s not much with a closed toe and that heel height for dressy shoes.

    • I like these:

    • dancinglonghorn :

      If you want to go for full-out vintage, I love remix vintage shoes. I wear them dancing and find them very comfortable, but shipping can take a while. The balboa would be perfect. I’ve never seen the metallic ones on sale. They are a little out of your budget but I thought it would offer as a great source of vintage style heels.

      • These are awesome, thanks!

        Thanks for all the links, ladies. At least it gets me started. Sometimes I can have a specific vision… of something that doesn’t exist.

        Welcome to wedding planning.

    • Little pricier, but you can always do custom shoes from Milk & Honey (www [dot] milkandhoneyshoes [dot] com). That way they’re *exactly* the way you want them!

  16. If you served store-bought pre-prepared food to a group of people and it caused some… digestive issues… should you apologize? I’m a student and one of my classes, which is very small, had a presentation in lieu of an exam. We had a little potluck and I brought cupcakes. The only cupcakes available at the store (I’m sure as heck not baking during finals) had frosting that was practically neon in several different colors. I didn’t think that was an issue, until the next morning, when I had my morning movement, and I looked down… and saw neon green. If this happened to me it must have happened to everyone else too, right? I’m absolutely mortified. I was really hoping to ask the professor for a LOR, but he ate a cupcake too. Do I apologize? Let it go and hope I never see any of them again? Do they make a “Sorry I made you poo blue” Hallmark card???

    • Susan (edna_mode_nyc) :

      At first, when I saw “digestive issues,” I thought you meant diarrhea.

      But it seems that it’s only that it causes people to pass the food coloring.

      Given that you’ve served grownups who’ve probably eaten colorful food before, and therefore know what they were getting into, there’s no point in bringing this up, unless you really want to discuss poo with your coworkers.

    • I wouldn’t say anything. That’s just normal digestive stuff. It’s very possible they didn’t notice or didn’t have that happen to them.

      -Signed, the parent of a toddler who has gotten super familiar with which foods digest, which foods don’t, and which foods give people rainbow poop.

    • Do not mention it. When I was reading your post, I thought you were going to say that you gave everyone food poisoning. What you are describing is nothing to worry about.

    • No one actually got sick. Don’t bring it up. There is no need to discuss poop with anyone other than your doctor.

      FWIW, I used to babysit 2 little boys who would always eat those freezer ice pops in crazy colors and they always had blue or green poop. It didn’t seem to do any damage.

    • Don’t say anything. Unless people were puking, having diarrhea, or going to the hospital, because of the cupcakes you didn’t do anything wrong. Pooing neon blue won’t kill you.

    • Now I’m wishing there WERE a card for this! “I’m sorry if you pooped neon green.” I would buy ALL OF THEM.

      • Crying with laughter over here.

        • Meg Murry :

          yes! I am giggling like a 5 year old over here every time I get to this thread about neon poo. Glad I’m not the only one!
          and BTW, did you take they in the store packaging as obviously storebought or did you put them on a fancy platter and make them look homemade-ish? Because you definitely get a pass if they were obviously store bought – as long as you never bring it up.

          • Yes! Fortunately I was too rushed to remember to even bring a nice plate for presentation’s sake, so I served them right out of the plastic packaging. Thanks all!

  17. Recommendations for a Pandora station that is chipper enough to keep me awake while working on a boring project but not so loud/obtrusive as to be very distracting?

    • Have you heard of Crooked Still? I like my Crooked Still station for pleasant background music. Bhangra might also be good, although I am not sure if I have tried Pandora for bhangra before.

      • Cornellian :

        I’m in love with them. and all of her projects. and chris thile. and all of his projects. and brittany haas.

    • In school, I liked club/dance or techno music for background music when studying. Good beats with pretty limited or repetitive lyrics. I also like movie soundtracks when I really have to focus (think Braveheart/James Horner/John Williams). That takes a custom Pandora station to get it right though.

      • Backgrounder :

        Will second this. I have a John Williams station and it’s great for film score music with minimal lyrics and more exciting music than your typical classical

      • LadyEnginerd :

        Thirded. John Williams music enhanced studying got me through college.

    • When I’m in this mood I’ll frequently go with B*ren*ked Ladies. It gets you a mix of 90s pop that I know really, really well (so doesn’t require any focus) but is peppy enough to keep me awake.

      High art – no- but effective.

    • I would try indie rock. I would put in something like Mumford and Sons and Ingrid Michaelson and let Pandora do its magic. You could also tune an old-fashioned radio (!) to your local college station.

      I also love instrumental jazz for music to work to. Start a new station with Miles Davis.

  18. Following up on roses’ comment: Give me new bands to listen to! I love the book threads, so maybe we can do a music one? Really eclectic tastes, but no Christmas music, though, please! My current-ish obsession is The Civil Wars.

    • Susan (edna_mode_nyc) :

      Phoenix? I liked their first Album, “United,” and one of their later ones, “Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix.”

      Bonus points for their lead singer being Mr. Sofia Coppola.

    • Portlandia :

      Frequent lurker, infrequent poster with a music obsession. Love this thread!

      In no particular order, I love:

      Bryan John Appleby
      Hey Marseilles
      Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
      The Head & the Heart
      Damien Jurado
      Campfire OK

      All PNW bands at various stages of small-time and big-time, all amazing!

    • I’m probably going to get the Nashville soundtrack. If you aren’t watching the show, you should check it out – the duets by Clare Bowen and Sam Palladio are great and they have a sound like The Civil Wars (and, in fact, they cover If I Didn’t Know Better on the show!). I’m sad they aren’t a real group!

      Are you familiar with The New P0rn0graphers? (Hopefully I’ll avoid moderation!) Not a fan of the name, adore the group. They haven’t put out anything new in a bit but they are great, kind of electronic pop.

      And a shout-out to my favorite a cappella group, Straight No Chaser. They have two Christmas albums but also some non-Christmas music too. Lots of mashups and covers!

      • Thanks for the Straight No Chaser rec. I’d never heard of them.

        • Oh how I love Straight No Chaser. I was at IU when they started and it’s fun to hear the story of how they got signed to a record deal. (A member of the group posted some clips on YouTube 10 years later which turned into an album and tour!)

    • Research, Not Law :

      Avett Brothers
      The Lumineers
      American Nomad
      Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros
      Imagine Dragons
      Alabama Shakes
      The Black Keys
      Two Door Cinema Club

      And, if you are too young to know him, Eliot Smith.

  19. yeah I’m gonna jack rose’s thread jack too: any tips to help me wake up/ stay awake? I was pounding coffee during lunch (when they finally gave it to us) but after 8 hrs of listening to ppl talk and the jet lag I am suuuper sleepy. I still need to make it thru an office Christmas party AND a dinner (date, maybe??) and right now I feel like im going to die or just go straight to sleep…

    • springtime :

      Go for a brisk walk if you don’t have time for a power nap?

    • I’ll answer the TJ of my thread :) this might sound super weird, but after trying the normal remedies (caffeine, power walk, etc.) I’ve found that applying moisturizer around my eyes seems to help. I doubt that will take you through a party and a dinner though (especially if you plan on drinking – I can’t think of a WORSE way to stay awake than to drink when you’re already tired!), but it might help short term.

    • LadyEnginerd :

      Jock jams in the car on the way to the date.

  20. another anon :

    It might be late in the day to post this, but are there any port drinking ‘rettes out there? I’d love suggestions for a nice bottle of port (around $30-$40) as a gift for my SO. Bonus for something unusual, and for suggestions for a metro-accessible store in DC with a good selection of port.

    • I recently tried Deco chocolate port. It was pretty tasty and not overtly chocolately. No idea on availability in DC though.

  21. Any suggestions for something fun to do tomorrow night in the Fremont, CA area?

    • karenpadi :

      Get on BART and go to SF? Otherwise, San Jose has its annual Holiday Village set up downtown with rides, games, a a skating rink, and other fun things.

  22. Paralegal :

    Can I just get some commiseration? Our office holiday party was last night and I overindulged a little (but not that much!) and now I am super hungover :(. Other people were waaaay more drunk, but they’re all fine. I guess my stomach is very sensitive, and I threw up any water or gatorade I tried to drink. I am functional now, but I just want to get into bed.

    • e_pontellier :

      That’s the WORST. I know what you mean. Can you make a fast food or starbucks run? In those situations, I find french fries or a sugary milky latte extremely helpful in getting through the rest of my day.

    • I often get disproportionally hungover compared to the amount I drink. Although, I generally have a pounding headache for days, rather than stomach issues. Its so annoying because although I’m not a huge partier, it would be nice to be able to indulge in more than a c*cktail and a half without completely regretting it the next day. FWIW, I’ve always been like this, although it has gotten even worse with age. I just know that the 3-4 times a year when I go out and have more than a drink, I’m going to be sick the following day.

    • SoCalAtty :

      I’m not hungover from drinking, but I’m sure hungover from too much work! Up working until 11pm Sunday night, then after 9pm Monday and Tuesday, had a slight reprieve last night, and it will probably be late tonight as well. I’m in the office no later than 7am, so I’m pretty much fried.

  23. TJ: I’m sure this has been discussed before, but does anyone have a suggestion for a good relationship book? I’m in a committed long distance relationship and I think I’m having trouble letting go of small stuff and trying to decide which battles to fight. I’m thinking I just need some perspective. Any thoughts?

    • I like 5 love languages – though it can be a little hokey. I think it gave me good perspective on things.

    • e_pontellier :

      No recommendations for long distance specifically, but there’s a few books that have been recommended here about relationships.
      5 Love Languages – good, but probably more applicable for if/when you live together.
      For Women Only and For Men Only – good, but have a VERY strong Christian bent.
      Hopefully others will have more suggestions.

    • TO Lawyer :

      everyone on here tends to recommend the five love languages, for the basic theory that people have a different way of expressing and communciating love and affection for each other.

      I never read it but discussed the basic concept with my long distance SO. It has helped a bit, because it reminds me that although my SO isn’t overly romantic and sentimental, the practical things he does (and the fact that he listens to me planning outfits in advance even though he thinks its ridiculous) is his way of expressing his affection for me.

      For my two cents, I sometimes have a hard time letting things go. But I always feel awful after for starting a fight over something stupid when he calls because it feels like a wasted opportunity. I have found that me fighting over the small stuff is generally related to a bigger thing i.e. he didn’t call when he said he would is minor in the grand scheme of things but I’ll get upset because I feel neglected or like we haven’t been communicating/connecting, which is bigger, especially in the long distance context where you generally only have the phone to make you feel connected.

      • “I always feel awful after for starting a fight over something stupid when he calls because it feels like a wasted opportunity.” <– THIS. Exactly how I feel. Thank you for that. It's nice to know someone else feels the same way.

        • TO Lawyer :

          Long distance relationships are hard. I could write a novel about them and god knows I whine about mine both IRL and around here. But the one thing I’ve learned that I think is the most important is that in a LDR, when all you have is essentially the phone, you have to be really good about communicating and telling your partner what you need.

          I’ve mentioned that my SO is less emotional and sentimental than I am and sometimes, I need to hear him tell me that he loves me and he misses me. In his mind, it’s a given so he doesn’t have to say it. But I’ve had to identify exactly what I need him to do and tell him to do it. The idealistic part of me hates needing to be so particular about what I want (I want him to just know) but I know that’s not realistic so I ask for what I need, and because he cares about me, he tries to give it to me.

          Honestly, I’m gaining more perspective over time. The more committed we are and the longer we’re together, the more I realize that the small stuff isn’t worth fighting over, because as much as I love to win, I don’t want to win at the expense of us. It’s a work in progress but I find because of my personality, I need to say what’s on my mind (even if it’s dumb) because otherwise I’ll just be passive-aggressive, which helps no one.

          I hope that helps. There are a lot of us around here in long distance relationships and I’ve gotten a lot of really valuable advice in the past year. If you want to vent or take this off line, you can always email me at toronto [dot] [name of this site] at gmail [dot] com

          • Thanks for the insight :) I may end up emailing at some point. I appreciate the offer.

    • kerrycontrary :

      I was in an LDR for 2.5 years (now we’re in the same city). I didn’t read any books, but my biggest advice was to communicate. My BF and I are so good at saying “I’m mad because X,Y,Z” or “I love when you do this” or “Thank you for that”. Now I’m astonished when people say they can’t/are scared to TELL their SO something.

    • Calling in the One. It’s more of a self-focused “what’s stopping me from finding good relationships” kind of book, but I found it helpful.

    • John Gottman’s The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (you don’t have to be married for it to be helpful).

    • Silvercurls :

      Getting the love you want: a guide for couples, Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., 1988
      Love is never enough, Aaron T. Beck, M.D., 1988
      The dance of anger, Harriett Goldhor Lerner, Ph.D., 1985
      The dance of intimacy, same author, 1989

      Publication dates included b/c I have no idea which ones are still in print. (Haven’t re-read them for years, but all four have survived multiple moving-related book purges.) As I recall, Dr. Lerner’s basic thesis is that if you stop doing X, this will impact the behavior of the people who are used to you always doing X …because whatever else happens, you are no longer doing X. Dr. Beck is described on the covers of my copy as “the father of cognitive therapy” and “director of the Center for Cognitive Therapy, University of Pennsylvania.” I think that Dr. Hendrix is good at articulating, and untangling, some of the relationship knots in which people find or put themselves…but as I said, it’s been years and I’m sure I’m not recalling all details. YMMV. Feel free to decide another book is better for you.

      Good luck, whichever book you choose or don’t choose. For me, a LDR was too hard. I chose to move to now-DH’s city, but at that time I didn’t have any compelling professional reason not to relocate. I understand that everybody doesn’t have that option.

  24. I like Missoni scarves and just found a deal for them under $30. Limited colors available now.

    • Only the pink color is left. But there are a bunch on gilt and you can take 50% off today with code GILT50. It will come out to about $40.

  25. NYC Piano Bars :

    Would appreciate recommendations for piano bars in NYC. (Bill’s Gay 90s is closed, sadly.) Thanks!

    • Bill’s has reopened under a different name. Was reviewed in the Times this week. Still has a piano.

  26. I have a job interview in another city next week and they’re not paying travel expenses. I’m unemployed and broke so before I booked a hotel, I asked on facebook if anyone was willing to put me up. An old friend who I was very close to in high school, kept in touch with in college and hadn’t spoken to for years (grew apart, there wasn’t a falling out or anything) responded that she was happy to do so. I’m a little stumped on a hostess gift, though. I’d bring a bottle of wine and be done but I don’t even know if she drinks! I have no reason to believe that she doesn’t other than she looks like she’s really into yoga/being healthy from looking at her fb pictures. I’m not really sure what else to bring, since we really haven’t spoken in a long time and I have no sense of her adult (versus teenage and college-age) tastes. Do I just offer to pay for dinner?

    • Kontraktor :

      Box of chocolate or cookies? Thank you card with a note inside and a Starbucks gift card? I also like the idea of paying for dinner.

    • How about a collection of fancy teas? You can usually get them pretty cheap at TJ Maxx/Homegoods or somewhere like that, and someone into yoga and stuff would almost certainly like tea. Plus even if you yourself don’t drink it, its always good to have around the house.

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