Coffee Break: Okira Strappy Pump

There are a ton of nice Naturalizer pumps at Zappos with HIGH, high ratings. These strappy pumps look a bit like dance shoes in the picture, but if you watch the Zappos video (here’s a screencap) I think they’re actually that mythical strappy pump where they stay comfortably on your foot, have a flattering dip in the front (unlike most T-straps or ankle strap heels) — and look good with tights, pantyhose, or bare legs. They’re $99 at Zappos, available in regular and wide sizes 4-12, in four neutral colors. (Amazon has lucky sizes down as low as $49, and Nordstrom has even more colors.) Naturalizer Okira

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  1. Hi all –
    I switched jobs and my new job does not issue corporate credit cards. For business travel, we just use our personal cards and submit for reimbursement.

    My personal credit card is a United mileage plus card and we put almost all of our personal expenses on it in order to maximize mileage and make the annual fee worth it. Because we have so many line items every month, I’m having an hard time making sure I’m catching all of my business expenses.

    So I want to get another card just for business use, though it would still be a personal card. Should I get a hotel branded card? Or should I convert my Nordstrom card to a Visa card and use that?

    I realize there are websites devoted to this but I was wondering what my fellow travel warrioret tes do themselves.

    I’m not particularly interested in complicated credit card arbitrage as described this morning. I want something easy.

    • Most common recommendations will probably be for the Sapphire Reserve or AMEX Platinum if you’re just looking to maximize miles/points in a consolidated place. I have both and highly recommend even if you’re not looking to churn.

      • LondonLeisureYear :

        Chase Sapphire Reserve if you are doing lots of travel. Airport lounge access, No international transaction fees, 3 x points for travel related purchases, global entry or TSA Pre check fee waived, etc etc etc

        • +1

        • +1 I have it and love it

          Only caveat is to make sure you’re spending enough for business/work to make the annual fee worth it

          • The Reserve card has a $300 annual travel credit, which is automatically posted on your account for any airline or hotel purchase. The annual fee is $450, but with the travel credit, that’s ultimately only $150 OOP as long as you’re using the card for any travel. (That’s not counting the 50,000 point sign up bonus.)

        • Blonde Lawyer :

          If you can wait a month or so, I heard there is supposed to be another big bonus offer before the holiday spending season starts.

      • I would recomend getting a special card for busness expenses. When I came here, the manageing partner did NOT even use credit card’s. I told him that he needed to do more then just goeing to the Lambs Club all the time as cleint’s do NOT like goeing to the same place all the time. He agreed and he had me call up American Express, and we were all issued LAW FIRM Branded AMEX Cards. So now, all I do when I need something, from supplies to Food to clotheing, is to just “charge it” to Amex. Then, when the amount shows up on our bill, all I have to do is tell Frank what the bill is for, and he pays it! YAY!!!!

    • Gail the Goldfish :

      I just have a 2% cashback card. I decided trying to game the miles/points cards wasn’t worth it and I’d rather just have the cash (plus work buys plane tickets on a company card, but nothing else, so having one of the airline cards didn’t make as much sense).

      • Senior Attorney :

        I do this, too. Mine is the Citi Double Cash Back card and I’ve been happy with it.

        Although I have to admit I’m tempted by the Chase Sapphire Reserve…

      • Anonymous :

        Me too. I don’t travel enough. And I want cash.

        Best set of cards for me….

        Fidelity card – 2% cash back. I do most of my investing and banking with Fidelity. Makes it easy.
        Amazon credit card with Amazon prime – 6% cash back
        Costco credit card – 4% cash back on their cheap gas. 2% back on Costco stuff.
        Nordstrom’s credit card – for the $100 free alterations, really.

        That works for my lifestyle.

  2. NYC area day spas :

    Looking for recommendations in the NYC area for day spas. My husband and I are looking to play hooky one afternoon and have a mini vacation from our toddlers. We both want a massage, he likes a steam room, I like a hot tub. Looking for something that feels luxurious and relaxing but not at Four Seasons prices. We can drive if there’s something great in NJ/up state.

    Any ideas? TIA!

  3. My husband and I have different last names. 90% of the time this doesn’t cause issues. Sometimes it does on like hotel rooms. For example we were meeting at a hotel (different flights into a town for a wedding) and I arrived a night early, he had booked the room, had told them my name as the second guest, the person didn’t add it to the room info, so they wouldn’t let me into the room because we didn’t share last names. I tried to “prove” that I was his wife by showing that we have the same credit card info, answering address questions etc. Finally they broke down and let me in but not after a huge hassle.

    What do others carry with them to prove that they are related to their spouse? Does this cause issues with your children if they have different last names?

    • Anonymous :

      What?? Why didn’t you just say – the room is booked under John Smith, I’m staying with him? I can’t believe hotels match up last names – don’t guys have lady friends that aren’t their wives?!

      • I’ve run into this even with the same last name. My mom (we share a last name) booked several hotel rooms for my sister’s wedding and then ended up not going, and getting the keys to my room was an issue. They only like to give the keys to the person whose name is on the reservation.

    • I have a different last name than my husband. We have kids and have been married for almost 20 years. I have never had an issue, even like the one you describe, and I never carry any proof that I’m my husband’s wife or my kids’ mother.

      • Anonymous :

        This. Married 22 years with different last name. Never an issue….ever! Even if you had the same last name, what if you’re estranged and they let you in his hotel room? What about common last names? Does Mary Smith get in any John Smith’s room?

      • Married a shorter time but same. Both husband and I have gotten into rooms booked under other’s name with no issue, and I’ve also never had an issue with kids (who share husband’s name and not mine).

    • When I travel internationally, I bring a photocopy of our marriage license. I’m sure that would be useless–frankly I don’t even know what I bring it for–but I’d like to prove in an emergency of some kind that we’re legally bound despite name differences. Makes me feel better.

      There was that one time I booked our anniversary trip and the room butler, housekeeping, and the little welcome cake said “Happy Anniversary, Mr. and Mrs. Pompom!” Mr. Not-Pompom was mostly amused, mildly eye rolly

      • Senior Attorney :

        Heh. My husband says if they’re calling him Mr. My Name it means we’re using my credit card, so he’s fine with that. And if they’re calling me Mrs. His Name that means he’s paying, so I’m fine with that!

    • How bizarre. What if you weren’t married at all, but dating/engaged and he booked the room for both of you. It seems like the mistake is the hotel’s for not recording your name as the second guest. That’s what you would do if traveling with friends or anyone you’re not related to… or am I missing something about how hotel reservations work?

      • Nope. This. You don’t need to be married. Hotel just needs to keep track of who’s supposed to be in the room.

      • Anonymous :

        Right. I travel with my girlfriends all the time and never have a problem getting into a room someone else has booked, because they supply the hotel with the names of all the guests.

      • Correct. I worked at a hotel and we added guests to rooms all the time. And no, we would not let a spouse in just because he/she has the same last name. One if my co workers had a case where the wife asked to get in the room but the husband had given the front desk explicit instructions not to give anyone (even his wife) a key. She was in tears because one could only guess what was going on.

        • Poor woman.

          Given your experience working at hotel, what is the easiest/most efficient to get it fixed if the hotel messes up and doesn’t record the name of the second guest? I’m guessing calling OP’s husband for a verbal confirmation may not have worked because he was still in the air.

          • I think if this is a concern, your best bet is to confirm all reservation info before arriving.
            If I was in that situation, I would just tell them to give me a room and straighten out their issues after.

          • That makes sense. I have an international trip coming up with friends and this hadn’t even occurred to me.

    • I carry a copy of my marriage license folded up in my wallet. I also carry a copy of my child’s birth certificate, mostly so I have it when I travel.

      • Not a good idea to carry around a birth certificate. It puts your child at risk of identity theft if your purse/wallet is stolen.

      • I have read all of these p’osts and have the ideal solution. Just hyphenate your names. I was goeing to do this with Sheketovits, but we never got married and he wanted HIS name to go first, and I wanted my name to go first. In retrospect staying away from MARRAGE with him was a good thing, but this solution can be used by the HIVE when they want their husband’s to get into their hotel room. YAY!!

    • Anonymous :

      That’s the hotel’s problem, not yours. You shouldn’t need proof you’re married. I would complain to the hotel that they caused you problems.

      • Anonymous :

        I don’t think that this is the hotel’s problem. It’s the spouse’s, for not putting the wife on the list.

        FWIW, I agree that if you go to a hotel, letting someone say they are my spouse (even if they have the same last name), shouldn’t get you into the room. My husband’s exwife threatened to do this to us on our honeymoon and she’d have had the marriage license to prove that they were married, too. Crazy people do crazy things (and then there are the cheaters, who also to go hotels expecting privacy, sadly).

        This is the last thing I want to worry about when I travel.

        person with tragically common last name

        • OP said in the original post that her husband did add her name as the second guest and the hotel apparently failed to record it. So I agree that complaining to the hotel is appropriate in this circumstance.

        • She specifically said “he told them my name as the second guest.” The spouse did put the wife on the list. So how is this not the hotel’s problem?

        • Anonymous :

          I think that when the hotel messes up, it still shouldn’t let you into the room.

          It should profusely apologize once it is clear to them that they have made a mistake, but I don’t think that they abandon their policy when someone claims they are a spouse / need to get into a room.

          FWIW, I usually get a confirmation e-mail that has all of this on it (we don’t all have the same last name and travel together a bit (often arriving separately due to older kids driving now and one in college); my husband also intenstly dislikes being called Mr. MyLastName).

        • Anonymous :

          But that’s not what she said. she said:

          “he had booked the room, had told them my name as the second guest, the person didn’t add it to the room info…”

    • Rainbow Hair :

      I checked into a hotel — booked through work — for a conference I’d never attended. I’d added on a day of fun with my husband (different last name). Husband was coming only for the end of conf/beginning of fun. When I checked in the guy was like, “ok you’re in a room with two double beds” and I was like “oh no can I just do one big bed, please?” and he said, “well, you have a roommate arriving…” and I almost cried like ‘oh my god I was trying to spend romantic time with my husband and now I have some random conference roommate?!?!’ When I asked in a panic who my roommate was, and discovered he was my husband, I was so relieved. But the front desk wasn’t sufficiently embarrassed in my opinion!

    • While not a major problem, be aware that if you have a different name than your minor child, it is a good idea to carry a certified copy of his/her birth certificate if travelling internationally. Many countries have cracked down on parental kidnapping and you will need to prove the relationship even if you are travelling with the other parent.

      And if you are travelling WITHOUT the other parent, look up the specific rules for the country in question. Some of them will require the birth certificate (to prove you are a parent) and a notarized letter from the non-travelling parent authorizing you to take the child.

  4. Just got off a skype interview for a very interesting position at our company’s central location (in Europe), and I expect to receive an offer at the end of the week! The interview definitely felt like “formality” territory – I work with this group on a weekly basis and they said they didn’t have any technical questions for me as they know my skill set.

    Just needed to rave!

    Salary negotiations, I’m sure, will be a rant later…

    • MineAllMine :

      Yay you! You probably already know this, but alary can be tough to negotiate in Europe because in some countries there are a lot of fixed benefits in kind in lieu of cash. BIKs are taxed, too, making their real value impossible to compare, especially if you don’t actually want that BIK (e.g., a car when you plan to take public transport, or in my case, getting a new luxury car I didn’t want but got taxed on instead of a cheaper car and less tax/more cash). I still haven’t figured out if my Belgian salary was a good deal or not, but it was enough to keep me in moules frites for the years I was there. UK salaries suck big time and are getting worse, so I hope you’re not headed here unless you’re ready for that. Congrats!

      • Interesting. I am heading to Germany.

        I didn’t know about BIKs being taxed (and I’m not sure if I can negotiate them – they are offered in my company; I’m just not sure if they’re offered for this position). Thanks for your input! More stuff to research…

  5. Massage follow up :

    Thanks for all the massage advice this morning! I went and it was great. Went full nakey. He did targeted work on my neck and shoulders and then a regular relaxation massage on the rest of me. For those of you who go for specific issues, how often do you go?

    • I usually go every 6 weeks or so – I have really tight muscles in my neck and shoulders, and it gets painful if I leave it for much longer than that.

    • I’d love to be able to go once a month or so. Sadly it’s one of those things that just feels so indulgent to me that I’m not great about going regularly.

    • Rainbow Hair :

      Aaah I’m so glad it was good!

      I have massage gift certs burning a hole in my pocket. Maybe I should make an appointment for this week…

      I don’t go regularly. Sadly.

    • Anonymous :

      I went once every 4-6 week for about 1-2 years – the place I went had a discount deal if you did a membership. They automatically charged you once a month for a year, and the cost was $10-15 less per visit (60 min) than if I bought them one by one. The discounted price was $1/min and you could book either 30, 60 or 90 min sessions.

      My membership expired in April, so I haven’t been back…but I definitely feel like I should. Consistent use definitely made a difference for me (upper back tightness that resulted in a half-plugged ear/eustachian tube).

  6. Table manners :

    Any advice on these?

    1. School age child who chews with her mouth open (not gaping, but not shut either)? It’s not like she’s never been told. It’s that she’s been told a million times. Just let the shaming at school fix this? [She’s a bit like the men on Big Bang Theory — a bit aloof and in her own world and rather than fixing her problem, she’ll be unaware and just shunned eventually at lunch time b/c it is not pleasant to eat her her at times b/c of the Sea Food Diet effect or will just be around people who dont want to her her feelings by mentioning it.]

    2. Teaching children knife skills? This is like a Napoleon Dynamite ask. But no knives in school. Breakfast is cereal. I try to cook chicken and just give them big chunks to cut into smaller sizes but it has been a process to get to baby steps. What do y’all do? I feel like when I was at little, we ate more food that needed knives and somehow there are like zero opportunities to do this except for maybe one or two meals per week.

    • Anonymous :

      1. Keep teaching her. It’s not like flipping a switch. Get her evaluated and get occupational therapy; talk to her oeduatrician about her development; ask about potential breathing issues. There are things you can do don’t just give up and let her get bullied.

      2. Cook real food that requires a knife and fork more than twice a week! Don’t pre cut chicken at all. Give a serving whole.

      • Add in something that needs to be cut up on weekend breakfasts, as well — sausage, waffle or pancake, cantaloupe, etc!

        • This! I still take great pleasure in cutting up pancakes in a perfect grid pattern after buttering and syrup-ing them. The middle stack always has the most butter… saved for last.

          • Delta Dawn :

            I thought I was the only person that did this! I cannot eat a pancake until I have “gridded” it. DH has been making fun of me for years. Pancake grid solidarity!

          • Yasss! My husband is just a tear-and-go pancake cutter–no order! no right angles!–and I am unduly pained watching him pancakes.

            ….now I want pancakes for dinner.

      • Table manners :

        +1 for waffles — I should have thought of that.

        I cook whole chickens, so I’ve got to carve the bird a little bit. But I carve big chunks only (like half of a [email protected]).

    • Some ideas:

      1) Have a pirate dinner. If your kids do really really good with manners for a month they get to have a pirate dinner where you have no plates, no silverware, no manners and just eat everything off the table with your hands. They have to earn stickers to earn it. Maybe start the first one after 2 weeks so they get into the swing of it. Of course this is a know your kids and know what they love but with the right set of kids it could work well.

      2) If you have more than one kid- draw a name out of a hat and a manner out of the hat at the beginning of the meal. That person has to watch everyone at the table, adults included!, and give feedback when people are following the manner rule.

      3) have them help you cooking in the kitchen to learn knife skills

    • Flats Only :

      When I was 6 or 7 I was tasked with making fruit salads using a sharp paring knife. Since the knife was small it was easy to handle, and I cut up bananas, apples, etc. with it. Also, I recall a lot of knife safety info in Girl Scouts, after which we were issued Swiss Army type knives and allowed to whittle sticks! It was so much fun.

    • For chewing with the mouth open, I would probably continue to give gentle reminders in a low voice semi-regularly but not so often as to be perceived as nagging. (Depending on their temperament, maybe once or twice per meal, unless they’re already in a bad mood about something, then leave it alone). For the knife skills, just keep doing what you’re doing and they’ll figure it out. Expect that both of these processes may take a year, or two years, to slowly resolve over time. But (IMHO), neither one is an issue worth turning the dinner table into a war over. So much important socialization happens there – spending time together, learning how to have discussions in a social group, watching and absorbing adult behaviors, etc. Learning the kind of manners you’re talking about works so much better with lots of time and gentle guidance – pressure tends to backfire badly.

      • Nudibranch :

        If you can find these vintage gems at your Public Library, Betty McDonald’s “Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle” series addresses a lot of these mannerly issues in a very fun way. I think I remember a chapter on chewing with the mouth open issue.

        We loved these books growing up and I read them now to my nieces who also love them. They are also charmingly illustrated by Hilary Knight (of the Eloise books fame).

    • Anonymous :

      1) Does she have sinus issues or some other potential breathing issue?

      2) Eat food that requires knives.

      • This is what I thought of too- can she breathe through her nose? I manage to chew with my mouth closed, but it’s definitely a struggle because I’ve never been able to breathe well through my nose and wouldn’t even know that wasn’t normal if people hadn’t explicitly told me that I should be able to.

        • Table manners :

          Breathing isn’t the issue. :(

          Poor thing just has no head for this. I would honestly put her through a little bit of pageant training just to work on things like this and eye contact when you’re speaking to / listening to someone. Only half kidding. I think our local etiquette / cotillion classes are for middle-schoolers, which is just too long to wait for this to get fixed.

          • Anonymous :

            I second the recommendation to talk to her pediatrician.

          • Beauty Queen :

            Hello, it’s your neighborhood beauty queen lurker… not a popular activity around here, so I usually keep quiet. But in case you’re considering it, pageant prep won’t really help with the chewing. There aren’t any pageant coaches that train in that because it’s not a competition. (That part of Miss Congeniality is misleading!) However, it would help a lot with eye contact. But if she’s not in middle school yet, pageants for her age would probably not involve interviews. So, pageant training at this point is probably not your solution. I’ll go back into the shadows now. Good luck!

          • Table manners :

            I forgot about that movie — maybe we need to watch it together? I loved it and it might help.

          • The nationally organized Cotillion classes that run for the whole school year are normally for middle schoolers, but look and see if there’s someone in your town who offers etiquette classes for younger children independent of the national program. I’ve seen plenty of them in the past.

            FYI, I’m also a person whose nose simply doesn’t work right. It’s not anything I’d have ever known if I hadn’t gotten allergy tested in 9th grade, when the ENT exclaimed, “OMG, how can you breathe?!” “Um, I just do?” Everything looks ok from the outside, but I need to mouth breathe if I’m doing anything active; I can only breathe through my nose when sitting quietly. Eating can be a bit tricky if I’m at all stuffy.

          • Gail the Goldfish :

            If we’re adding fun movies that discuss table manners, I’ll throw out The Princess Diaries. I keep threatening to tie my SO to the dinner chair with scarves a la The Princess Diaries because his table posture is truly awful.

    • I don’t know if this is recommended, but a family friend recorded her daughter doing the things she wanted to stop and then said this is what that behavior looks like and it always worked.

      For 2, why don’t you just practice it or give her things to chop? My mom would just let me chop things for salad, etc. I never had an issue and never had any major accidents. I suppose you can always try for more opportunities too – buy uncut bread, cheese, etc.

      • Table manners :

        I think that the knife skills are OK, but the switching of hands or eating European style and not jabbing your tablemates with your elbows — it’s a lot of things that come together and that . . . maybe just takes much more practice. Oddly, the lefty is better than the righty.

        le sigh

        Maybe those tomahawk pork chops would be fun if not weaponized when they hear the name.

        • I’ll say that my table manners would remarkably improve when we went out to eat and/or ate with people I found intimidating. My scary aunt was always big on keeping elbows off the table (she’d tell me how in her day you would have a book under each arm and g*d help you if you dropped it) and I always ate “better” in her company. Maybe just try to create more “best behavior” situations?

    • 1) Keep working on this and reminding her. My kid is 7 and every meal has at least one “swallow before you speak” or “please chew with your mouth closed” or similar correction. Make sure you are also modeling this.

      2) Again, practice, practice, practice. A salad fork may be easier to work with. Show her proper technique and keep at it. let her practice other knife skills like spreading condiments on a sandwich or chopping up soft foods- you can get a plastic kids chef knife if that makes you feel better.

      3) If you can find an etiquette or manners class, sign her up. If there isn’t a class, find a book or tutorial online. My kid was fascinated with all the “rules” and pulls out this place mat to remind him how to set the table. Work on these skills at home and take her to fancier dinners with cloth napkins. This seems to help bring together some of the skills in 1 and 2 above. Also, we talk on here all the time about how young adults feel hampered by their innate lack of fine dining skills. Teach these skills in childhood. By the time they are adults, it’s second nature.

    • 2. True confession – my dad cut my meat until after college. It never occurred to me that it was weird until I was shamed by a college boyfriend. I wasn’t a huge meat eater so he’d just cut off a few pieces and put them on my plate. I’m sure it started when I was little and we just both got into the habit of it.

      All that to say, just find some time and make an effort on the knife skill front once in awhile. I believe Alton Brown had an episode that addressed knife skills for kids.

    • Like every kid of the ’80s and ’90s our parents had that flowery, flourishy silverware and I honestly don’t know how, when, or where they were acquired but somehow my mom had a mini fork, butter knife, and spoon in that same pattern. They are *still* there. That was what we used. We cut everything up ourselves. We only had one set per kid, so it was also our responsibility to clean them ourselves. We also had Corningwear. I can’t tell you how many times we would drop something and it would just sort of bounce. One plate broke but broke into two pieces instead of shattering into bits. I think something about the silverwear being the same as the adults but oh-so-cute mini was part of it what kept us using it. I remember the first time I went to my friends’ houses and saw all the plasticwear and was in awe. Sure it was cool to have a Little Mermaid spoon, but I remember the forks being almost useless and don’t think there were any knives at all. We also learned from a pretty young age safe kitchen skills and were even allowed to use the stove and a small (and dull) paring knife as well as a small serrated knife and were encouraged to help cook a lot. Come to think of it, my mom must have bought these somewhere, because one of my most prized possessions was a mini whisk. So, try to first find a mini silverware set with a real butter knife and encourage her to cut things at her plate. The size is key so that she can control it with her hand size.

      (Another thought for not-yet school aged kids, is working with clay. Clay modeling has those blunt ‘knives’ that are essentially cheese knives but it can teach kids how to stabilize what they are cutting with one hand and how to hold the cutting tool with the other hand, safety of fingers, etc.

      • Anon in NYC :

        Not sure of the child’s age, but Ikea has smaller (children’s) sized forks, knives, and spoons, if the OP’s daughter needs smaller utensils. The knife is pretty sharp!

    • Are you secretly co-parenting our 11 year old? My stepdaughter has BOTH of these issues. She is SO BAD at using a knife. We are really trying to get her to practice but it’s hard because she bursts into tears and/or rolls her eyes at even gentle suggestions.

      • Table manners :

        No — this for a third grader.

        No eyerolls yet, but for someone in advanced math, she can manage it for one bite but forgets by the next one. Often the next bite is in before the swallow. We don’t rush them through meals, esp. dinner. It’s a hot mess of shoveling in food.

        I think some of it is ADHD (bouncing at the table sometimes like she’s Stevie Wonder). Some of it is . . .
        I have no idea. She’s very sweet and I don’t want her to think like she’s getting picked on all of the time. Maybe we whisper a bit before mealtimes and maybe watch Miss Congeniality and maybe I video her once and show her privately. I love her and want her not to grow up with friends at school lunch thinking she’s yucky.

        • My girls only summer camp had a “tradition” that if you got caught with your elbows on the table, you had to leave the table and run around the outside of the dining hall while your table sang some silly song about elbows on the table. This was around 3rd grade. I remember it being funny and all in good humor and the counselors made sure no one was scarred, but it was really darn effective. Maybe try something big to get her attention.

    • My father addressed the chewing with the mouth open thing by firmly, loudly saying “stop chewing without your mouth closed. That’s never acceptable.” Then he would repeat the story of how he brought a friend home for dinner in college and the kid chewed with his mouth open– he would then stare at us and chew with his mouth open–and then say that our grandfather kicked this kid out of his house in the middle of dinner.

      It worked. I was a pretty compliant kid, but I hated making my dad angry and disappointing him. I’m not trying to start a parenting technique war, but sometimes “gentle reminders” aren’t enough. Chewing with your mouth open is pretty d*mn foul. (I am one of those people who absolutely cannot stand to hear the sound of someone chewing or licking something-misophonia, it’s sometimes called. I would be physically repulsed to the point of not being able to eat if I had to eat with someone’s school age child who was doing this.)

  7. These shoes :

    …are not good.

    • …agreed. They are a hair away from being those ugly (but I’m sure comfortable and helpful for someone) Munro “booties” that some folks think are pumps.

    • Anonymous :

      when people ask how they know if they’re “frumpy”, this just defines it.

      • I like me some aggressively ugly shoes, but these are in a weird middle ground between sleek/pretty and ugly/cool. They’re just fugly

    • pugsnbourbon :

      As they are I don’t think they’re so bad, especially if you need a lower heel. They could be amazing if you brought the heel up a half to a full inch, made the cutout in the vamp a little wider, and made the toe just a little pointier.

      • MineAllMine :

        So basically just another pair of toe pinching high heels? No thanks. I have found naturalizer shoes to be much cuter in person than on screen, though. I have a pair of d’orsay flats that get a lot of compliments.

    • Never too many shoes... :

      I was going to post this, too. They look like something one of the Golden Girls would wear to a party.

      It turns out I was wrong…there *can* be too many shoes.

    • I always love the things y’all hate on here. I must be hopelessly frumptastic.

    • I have these shoes in red. I’m in my 30s. I love them – so comfortable and they actually look pretty sexy (as I’ve been told by men also in their 30s). Also got coworker compliments on them. Maybe just the black looks frumpy.

    • Anonymous BigLaw Associate :

      +1 Terrible.

  8. Camel Blazer :

    What do you wear with a camel blazer? I have one from J Crew years ago that I’ve barely worn because I can’t figure this out but it (still!) fits perfectly, super comfy and would be just the right weight for this time of year…

    My style trends pretty classic/conservative (personal pref + office culture) but is navy skirt/slacks+ ivory top too uniform-y? What else would work? Particularly pants/skirts + top, I’m not a big dress wear-er.

    • I think of camel basically as a neutral. The last time I wore my camel blazer, it was with a black pencil skirt and a black and white striped top. I tend to wear a lot of black, grey, and navy, sometimes with a bit of red, and I think all those colors work well with camel. Maybe it veers a bit into “uniform” territory, but I don’t really mind.

    • Anonymous :

      I love camel with navy! If you want something besides ivory for the top, try a deep jewel tone color (deep emerald green, plum/deep purple, burgundy, etc).

    • obsessedwithcolor :

      Olive, black, light blue, french blue, light gray, red, terra cotta. I think of camel as a light brown and wear almost anything in the soft autumn color palette.

    • Anonymous :

      All black.

      For me black turtle neck, black wide leg pants, great heels.

  9. Baconpancakes :

    Partly inspired by the table manners question above – how did y’all learn household chores and cooking? In my house, from the time I was 5 or 6, any time my mother was cleaning or cooking, I was expected to help. At first it was mostly just “helping” by being underfoot and waving a dustrag around or spinning the salad spinner, but by the time I got to college I had the skills (if not the willpower) to manage an entire house. Same with budgeting and balancing a checkbook. My coworkers at lunch were surprised, as they were shooed outside and called back in when dinner was ready to eat.

    Was this abnormal? How were you taught these skills?

    • Table manners :

      I was taught everything, but my parents are from the south and my grandmothers would have clutched pearls big time if I hadn’t been taught. And we’re not from fancy people — think more Norma Rae.

      So, me, working full-time and hustling to get home, get them from school, and cook an actual meal? You bet I expect the able-bodied to help. Even if their “help” isn’t the best, they are learning and I am appreciative (doubly so when I don’t have to ask — hear that, husband?), audibly so. They can put out place mats. And try to set the table. And bring out drinks. And clear their place and scrape their plate and bring it to the kitchen sink. This didn’t all happen at once, but starting whatever they learned in daycare (so when they were 2ish, they had to carry their plate to a bin (but they also threw away a lot of toddler cutlery when I wasn’t supervising). We went shopping for new placemats recently — it was pretty fun.

      But seriously, I do enough for them. I’m not their servant for tasks they could do themselves.

      • Being Southern :

        So funny. The South is useful for some things, like childhood etiquette classes that span all socio-economic groups and are seemingly ridiculous at the time. When living in the Midwest, every employee in the company had to attend a session on table manners – prompted by a very successful sales person licking his fingers at a business dinner; he made the sale by the way! Unknowingly, we were all invited to dinner and watched, at which point the consultant announced I was the only person who had a firm grasp on table etiquette. “Oh, thanks. I’m Southern.”

    • Anonymous :

      This. My sister and I (only two children) were expected to help anytime our mom was cooking/cleaning/laundry. Yes, super old school (my father still won’t clear his own plate) but I could keep a house by the time I was in college, am a decent baker and a pretty good cook, am competent with laundry and don’t live in filth.

    • Also taught and expected to do basically everything. Looking back on it, some of my chores seem a bit daring (I was tasked with ironing at age 8) and on weekends my mom would buy cake mixes and let me and my best friend bake cakes starting in 2nd grade. But it all worked out and I think I am a fairly self sufficient adult as a result.

      • I should also add that I try to encourage my toddler to help clean up her toys, put stuff in the stroller when we are going out, etc. She also seems to like “helping” so if she sees I left the Swiffer out, she picks it up and goes to “clean” the floors, or she will pick up diaper wipes and “dust” the TV stand. I hope this means that I will have a little chore assistant before long.

        • Delta Dawn :

          That’s adorable. My toddler does this, too. And he loves to pick up little bits of anything and shout “TASH” and run to the trash can. It usually is actual trash, which is nice. I too am hoping it means he is going to be a little helper!

    • Anonymous :

      This is pretty much how I was raised.

      I worry a little about my kids learning this stuff, because we have a cleaning service once a week, so the house is magically clean when they come home on Fridays. One day we’ll think about how to deal with that. They do see me and my husband do the daily clean-up and cooking (well, mostly my husband — thanks, biglaw — so they have pretty progressive views on household division of labor ;)). They help with cooking on weekends, sometimes. They are too young to help out with much on a regular basis, but they have little chores. The only consistent one is really to clear their plates. They are only preschoolers though.

    • I was expected to help with all household chores, but the struggle I had in adulthood is that my mother is not a natural housekeeper or natural cook.

      I began learning to cook (beyond heating things up from a box) and bake in law school, when I was living alone for the first time. I’ve come to love these tasks, and honestly love to cook/bake. My mom is still not a natural cook, but she did the best she could when we were growing up, and there was always food in the house, so I’m certainly not complaining.

      My housekeeping skills have lagged slower. When I hit 30, it was like a switch flipped, and I finally was able to make some progress. After spending most of this year decluttering and making some new habits, I’m finally not embarrassed of my house. But I spent a fair amount of time googling things that I think other people learned from their parents about housekeeping.

    • We were taught, then assigned chores, and my parents never looked back. Both worked, both were very practical, and were pretty set that if you lived there, regardless of your age, you pitched in. They recognized that some things were worth paying for, so we got a minor allowance (I think it was 5$ until I was 12, when I lobbied to be paid my age, and my parents were so amused that they did it). Sorry for the novel here.

      We had pretty formal chore assignments that changed by our age, and when we were old enough, just switched each week between me and my sister. One week you were the “before dinner helper” (set the table, help with the dinner prep, take out the trash before dinner, unload the dw) plus you took out all of the house trash on Friday night before dad hit the dump on Saturday am; the next, you were the “after dinner helper” (clear the table for everyone, help put away condiments and leftovers, help with dishes/load the dw, dry dishes, take out dinner garbage if needed, sweep the floor) in addition to vacuuming the living areas, halls, and stairs (the worst).

      Your room had to be cleaned–vacuumed, dusted, tidied up–by you, by Fri night. At a certain point in our early teens, we got this sweetener added: if your room was in a satisfactory state on Tuesday night, we got the privilege of having the once-every-other-week housecleaner come in to our rooms to do vacuuming and dusting. Mom had to approve and then include it on the list for the housecleaner (and obviously pay her more). This rarely happened because teenagers. Housecleaner did the bathrooms.

      Starting at the age of 10, you did your own laundry on your designated laundry day. Not early, not later, but you could switch with someone.

      We were always expected to help outside and in the garage/yard, but that was more ad hoc based on whatever my dad was working on.

      We could earn extra cash by doing things off the list of chores–each with a set price–that my parents hated to do (clean under the kitchen sink, trim the hedges on the side of the house, wash all the garbage cans out, clean the garage, vacuum the cars, etc).

    • I knew basic cleaning (i.e. I knew how to vacuum and scrub the shower, but not how often those things should be done or and I definitely didn’t know how to do anything more involved) and could keep myself from starving if there were already groceries in the house but that was about it.

      I think the cause is twofold, the first being that my parents owned a small business for most of my childhood that supported a lot of those tasks (think don’t have to cook every night because they owned a mom & pop deli) and the second being that my parents didn’t know much English so they often took care of household tasks that didn’t require language skills while needing my help to do anything that required English (ex: you don’t need to know English to cook and clean, but I had to translate at Dr. appointments, talk to any repair(wo)men that came to our house, call utilities companies, etc. on behalf of my parents). I often got told that my main job at home was to study so that I could go to college, with the tacit assumption that I’d pick up the household skills organically – but I never really did.

      I’m still building the skills to run a household well and hope to equip my children with those skills as they grow up.

    • My parents were very busy, and we were rarely home. We almost always went out to eat because that’s all my parents had time for. We had a housekeeper once a week. So I learned basically nothing at home.

      My grandmother had an “Everybody helps” mentality, so she taught me a few things. I went to summer camp for a month each summer, and we rotated setting/clearing the table. In high school, my best friend’s mom recruited anyone around help out–the first time I went over, I helped fold sheets–and she taught us how to cook and a few other things. Mostly, though, I graduated from college and was clueless. I called my mom everyday on my way home from work and asked for advice. My now-husband and I both asked coworkers who were a little older than us for tips (Bar Keeper’s Friend for the win). Since YouTube became popular, we watched videos on more complicated stuff like household repairs. Basically, we figured things out.

      DH and I are trying to teach our 2-year-old to help. Kiddo loads the washing machine and turns it on. (I put the soap in.) He stands on his stool and “helps” wash dishes, and he loads silverware into the dishwasher. When he throws food on the ground, which is pretty much every night, he helps pick it up. He throws trash away for us. He watches DH cook, and DH narrates what he’s doing. We take Kiddo to the grocery store with us. But it’s just different because we’re actually home doing all these things, and I don’t remember ever really being home for more than a couple of hours a week when I was growing up.

    • My mom has exceptionally clean standards and these kinds of things were just expected of us. When we heard classmates got paid allowances for chores, we asked if we could get that, too, and our parents said our allowance was that they let us live there rent-free and bought our food- ha! We had a cleaning lady come every two weeks but she mostly did deep-clean jobs like cleaning grout. Everything else we did ourselves: laundry, bed-making, tidying up after ourselves, vacuuming crumbs (to this day, my floors need to be clean enough to go barefoot), ironing, folding laundry, wiping countertops and tables, unloading the dishes and washing other dishes, etc. Everything in our house had a place, so books were in the bookcase in our rooms, but toys were in the basement play area. We ate only at the table and only watched TV on Friday nights in the living room. I think this has helped me not to lose things now as an adult because I know where everything goes and know if it is misplaced. Our parents set up small checking accounts for us where birthday and Christmas money would go and we learned how to balance the checkbook (as well as math and budgeting) that way. And the magic of interest! They included us in so many adult things, which I really appreciate as an adult. If they wanted to go to dinner with their friends, we always went along and were expected to behave (I became very good at drawing at these dinners) and be polite. Talking to adults (to ordering politely at dinner, saying thank you and holding doors for people, and even interacting at the bank) was a big part of our childhood. Our parents were of the kind that would say: “You need to clean your room. I’m not asking you again.” and we just did it. It was clear they were in charge and we either asked for permission to do things or were instructed to do things. I honestly don’t think it occurred to us to ever break the rules or do things without asking. (We were the same in school. It never occurred to us to not do our homework or prepare.)

      My husband was raised similarly and I can’t tell you how much easier it has made our marriage and living together in that he can run a household without me or my managing. (And did, he owned his home before he met me.) My law school roommate didn’t know how to turn on the oven to make a frozen pizza (!) and I’m very glad husband and I are both self-sufficient adults. It’s so nice to not have to expend the emotional labor/managing and that he just *knows,* hey, we should clean the patio furniture before guests come this weekend, so he just does it. We fully intend to raise our kids the same way.

    • My mom explicitly taught us to clean and cook, but not to budget or balance a checkbook. Money I had to figure out on my own. Frankly, I wish it had been the reverse.

  10. Anonymous :

    Ladies – ideas for a really awesome present for my 12 year old cousin who is more like my niece? I usually send her a stack of paperback books for her birthday since she is a book worm, like I was at that age, but for her 12th birthday I want to do something special. Budget is ~$75. Sadly I do not live near her so it needs to be something I can order online and which will be delivered by Saturday. She loves books, especially Harry Potter. Not sure what her other interests are since they seem to change a lot, but she is generally a pretty intellectually curious kid. Not opposed to sending something girly, though I usually don’t do that.

    • Anonymous :

      Over your budget but you can get HP specially bound in colors that correspond to your house.

    • Baconpancakes :

      I think this is right up her alley.

    • Does she have a kindle?

    • The illustrated Harry Potter editions are GORGEOUS. they run about $25/book and only #1 and #2 are out. I purchased one of the books recently to read with my kids and it’s well worth the second copy in the house. They are heavy — like coffee table books in size and weight — so better for reading at home than on the road.

      • Sloan Sabbith :

        And #3 is released in October. You can pre-order it on Amazon. You could get those for her and then have the third delivered THE DAY IT IS RELEASED.

        Ooh or the special edition boxed set with hogwarts on the side?! $79 on Amazon, possibly cheaper elsewhere. Scholastic has them for $65, not sure about shipping.

        Or all the cool extra books (Fantastic Beasts screenplay! Cursed Child! The Hogwarts Library boxed set!)

        Or a Harry Potter throw blanket. I got one when I was around her age and still have it, love it, used it last night in bed.

        I also got a Harry Potter wax seal kit I LOVED.

    • We just got my fiance’s niece, who is also twelve, a set of Majorica imitation pearl earrings with a similar budget and they’ve been a hit. Grown up enough to be desirable to a pre-teen but not showy or especially expensive.

  11. Muscular with a large chest :

    This is my body type and I feel gigantic. I’m really struggling with clothes, work and casual. If you are like me, what are your go-to looks?

    • Anonymous :

      sheath dress with a comfy knit or tweed blazer; or a blazer with stretch or a cashmere cardigan. (add in muscular arms + chubb)

      all my casual clothes support my sporting activity (quick dry, upf)

      i’ve discovered I just can do sleeved items with no give.

    • Anonymous :

      I’m similar and cannot wear fit and flare dresses or full or gathered skirts. No gathered waists, ever. Belted dresses also look weird. Sheaths look best. If I wear a baggy top it needs to be drapey, not stiff, and I either need to wear fitted pants or tuck it in. I like the Boden Ravello top and LOFT Utility blouse for work, and in the summer wear tops like this with a pencil skirt and a blazer or cardigan. In the winter I wear them with pants, either skinny cords/jeans or more flared trousers (recently found some cotton trousers with a wider, trouser fit that fit well from J. Crew Factory). I recently discovered that high neck tanks with spaghetti straps set very close to my neck look good on me.

    • same body type :

      I have a lot of muscle in my shoulders and upper back, plus being busty, so I’m with you. I generally wear sheath dresses and just deal with the waist being a bit big, but I could get them tailored in if needed. I also like pencil skirts with a fitted shirt tucked it. I’ve also recently started wearing a-line midi skirts (the siloue t t e is reminiscent of the 1950s, but no petticoats under them, so not as pronounced). They accentuate my waist, and the fullness of the skirt balances out my epic shoulders. I also wear sleeveless dress/tops and add a cardigan. I also like the look of skinny jeans, flats, and a semi-flowy top. If the top is going to be flowy, then I feel like it needs to either be sleeveless or tighter in the arms. Otherwise, I just look like a blob because everything falls off my b00bs or my shoulders. I need some definition on my upper body to show that I’m not just big.

      I just bought a new t-shirt from Amazon that I really like, so if you’re in a casual office/weekend wear, it might be a good option (link to follow to avoid moderation). It’s the Hanes Stretch Cotton Raglan Sleeve, and it doesn’t have the standard defined break between the shoulder and sleeve.

      NO SHIFT DRESSES. OR SWING DRESSES. OR TRIANGLE DRESSES. All of those styles just look terrible on me, because there’s no definition on any part of my body, so all you see is shoulders, and a huge block of material.

      • same body type :

        Link to the shirt:

    • Anonymous :

      I’m a former rower and current swimmer and have that body type too. When I am on the leaner side, I can do straight leg or slightly flared pants, v necks and short, open jackets. I’ll even wear capris in the summer.

      When I am heavier, I wear the lands end ponte dress with a jacket over it. I have it in most of the colors and its awesome.

      v neck shirts or sweaters. Shorter tailored jackets and flowy jackets both okay but its actually better for me to buy them on the smaller tighter side because if I buy them too big (what used to feel like the right size) then I look linebacker-y.

      sleeveless dresses

      solid colors not patterns

  12. Anonymous :

    I know there have been discussions about personal calendars here before, but I have a tangential question. I put personal appointments and reminders on my work Outlook calendar. Should I be worried about security? I don’t care if my colleagues see that my hubs is out of town on business, but is there any way that info could get into the hands of someone I didn’t want to see it? I know there’s always that risk using an online platform; I guess my real question is: is this something you worry about and how do you take action to mitigate those risks?

    • I keep personal appointments on my personal calendar, not for security reasons but because I just don’t feel like those kind of details belong on y work calendar. Then I just block out time for personal appointments and such as needed, but with a fairly generic subject.

      But in answer to your question, I guess I don’t really see your concern unless you think there’s somebody in your office who is keen on stalking you or you’re worried about a cybersecurity breach or something. In which case, put this kind of stuff on a personal calendar that is set up with double authentication.

    • Green Hat :

      It depends how good your company is at protecting its information – do they employ things like firewalls, intrusion detection systems, etc. It also depends on how good you are about protecting yourself – do you use strong passwords, are you always on alert for phishing emails, etc. But in reality unless you are at risk of being stalked by someone you know, I have literally never heard of random hackers infiltrating a corporate system so they could learn the schedules of random people to stalk them or steal their stuff. Corporate hackers are way more interested in your valuable data – financial info, intellectual property, trade secretes, dirt on your company that could be used for blackmail, that sort of thing.

    • If it’s simply that your office lets others look at calendars and you want privacy, Outlook has a feature for a private appt.

      But otherwise, the answer is no, I don’t care that my office knows my dog gets his heartworm on the 1st or that I have a haircut on Saturday.

    • Anonymous :

      Ignore your Company’s Active Directory instance is federated with another org (like Microsoft is common), maybe someone from there could see your calendar appointments. Mark the stuff you want to keep to yourself as private .

  13. I know there have been discussions about personal calendars here before, but I have a tangential question. I put personal appointments and reminders on my work Outlook calendar. Should I be worried about security? I don’t care if my colleagues see that my hubs is out of town on business, but is there any way that info could get into the hands of someone I didn’t want to see it? I know there’s always that risk using an online platform; I guess my real question is: is this something you worry about and how do you take action to mitigate those risks?

    • If Outlook at work is part of some enterprise account, there is always a risk that some nosey secretary or paralegal could get wind of medical appointment, job interviews, and private things that could be twisted into a weapon to use against you. I am in the process of looking for a new job, and I often have phone interviews during business hours. I put these appointments in code on my work outlook calendar so that no one steals that time for another meeting.

      • For the same reasons, I put some personal appointments on my calendar in code or vague terms. I often use things like “Meeting out of office” and “Doctor’s appointment.” I have nothing particularly sensitive right now, but I like to make a habit of it so that I don’t have to change my practice if something comes up.

    • Sloan Sabbith :

      I share my G-Cal to my OUtlook; only I can see it, I layer the calendars, and if I add something to my work calendar I mark it as “Private” so no details are available to anyone except that I’m away.

      • Anonymous :

        I use codes like “meeting with Bob” for hair appointments or “lunch meeting with Mike” for interviews or things like that. You just have to remember what the code is does

  14. Anonymous :

    Omg did anyone hear DJT’s press conference just now? He’s back to his Sat statement and directly said the alt left violently attacked the alt right with clubs and the alt right was just there to protect confederate statues and they’re ok bc they had a permit while the counter protesters had no permit. Um?!?

    • Anonymous :

      and there were “very fine people on both sides”. He’s destroying our country.

    • Marshmallow :

      I am horrified. Totally horrified.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      JFC. NOPE. This makes me even more worried about a tweet he quickly deleted this AM. Someone replying to Fox and Friends wrote “what do you expect, he’s a Fascist.” He retweeted it. Then later deleted it. I have a screen shot though and have tweeted that. I’m sure it could have been a mistake but just the thought of the President reading the comments to a news tweet is enough to make my head spin. He wants to be seen as fascist.

    • Anonymous :

      Am I the only one confused here re why he wants to be associated with these horrible groups? I’ve always assumed that he does everything out of motive, not true belief. Am I wrong and he is truly a bad guy? Bc otherwise why work so hard to keep the favor of these groups which I assume are small in number? These can’t be the groups that got him elected – white working class got him elected – I can’t imagine that on a Venn diagram there’s a huge number of what working class who just happen to also be KKK?!

      • Anonymous :

        It’s true that the vast majority of white working class Trump voters are not marching in neo-Nazi or KKK rallies. But they are racist enough that they don’t really care if Trump dog whistles to these groups. They are white, heterosexual and not of a minority religion so they will never be targeted and they care more about themselves than standing up for the rights of others. Hitler came to power in a similar way. Most people didn’t really subscribe to his full set of beliefs but they didn’t care enough to stand up to it. It was easy enough to watch their Jewish neighbors get marched off to gas chambers because it wasn’t affecting them personally.

      • nasty woman :

        “Am I wrong and he is truly a bad guy?”

        Correct, he is truly a bad guy. How have you missed this until now?

        “Bc otherwise why work so hard to keep the favor of these groups which I assume are small in number?”

        Stormfront’s readership is small in number. But racists are not.

        “These can’t be the groups that got him elected –”

        Yes. See above.

        “white working class got him elected”


      • Two reasons. 1) I think these groups were part of why he got elected. 2) $$$$$

      • AnonWhiteLady :

        Yes, you clearly don’t understand or underestimate or choose to ignore the casual racism of most of white America. One doesn’t have to be a neoNatzi to be, um, let see, how about “unsupportive of BLM”.

    • Anonymous :

      The sad thing is I doubt his approval ratings will suffer. His core base is about 30-35% of the country (his current approval rating) and those people will eat this sh1t up.

      • NotMyPresident :

        As a card carrying member of the white working class, I can tell you that the racist attitudes of our president are shared by a lot of his voters.

    • I have picked up a habit (based on something some posted here) of checking the Fox News website anytime Trump does anything especially awful to see what their take is. Support among the part of the base that doesn’t consider themselves white supremacists won’t go away until Fox starts giving them accurate information about how awful he is. Their article is a tiny bit critical but mostly pretty positive. And one of the secondary articles is about an immigrant committing horrible child abuse, which I think is designed to get the base back to the rah-rah trump frame of mind. I don’t think this is the moment where we see his support start downsliding among the base. Which breaks my heart – if not this, then when?

      • Anonymous :

        I don’t think Hannity and Tucker Carlson will ever abandon him. There are some Fox pundits who were outraged today, but most of them are not diehard Trump supporters and have criticized him before (Charles Krauthammer, etc.). I was pleasantly surprised that Laura Ingraham was a little critical, since she’s typically a pretty strong Trump supporter.

  15. I have a recent knee injury and I’ve had trouble with IT band tightness since then. I finished PT two months ago. A big part of my PT appointments involved therapeutic massage to fix the tightness. Where do I draw the line between getting a new referral for PT and just getting a massage? I don’t want to seem like I’m trying to game the system by getting my insurance to pay for more PT, but I feel like I shouldn’t have to shell out for regular massages when my knee injury is the cause.

    • Your insurance will see if you’ve had previous PT related to this, so I’m not sure how you can game the system by getting a new one. If what you really mean is you want more massage therapy in PT, talk about it with your PT. Most have a doctorate, if not a masters, and I would trust the PT knows the better course of action and will either prescribe you more sessions (they can do that) or give you more homework (foam rolling) or spend more time massaging. If your insurance will no longer pay for PT, getting a new therapist won’t trick them unfortunately.

      • Nothing as nefarious as that! My doctor agreed I shouldn’t still be having problems with soreness and did a second referral to PT for some touch up sessions. I have exercises that I do at home, but when the tightness sets in I don’t think they really help. I think I just feel weirdly guilty about using it because my range of motion is still fine, it just hurts. Getting my insurance company to approve the last few sessions was like pulling teeth even though my PT felt strongly I needed them, so I’m sort of worried they’ll give me a hard time about doing additional sessions.

    • Late post so I’m not sure if you’re still reading: but after ACL/MCL surgery I had tight IT bands. What worked for me was doing IT band stretches, quad and hamstring stretches, and making sure to treat with heat before exercising. Some PT places have a free walk-in assessment, I would maybe look into that and book one or two sessions to get exercises you can do on your own.

  16. Rainbow Hair :

    Here’s a light shoe question.

    My daughter and her cousins (so a 2 yr old, a 4 yr old, and a 6 yr old) are going to be flower girls in my brother’s wedding in October! They have sweet dresses in white and a wine/maroon type color. They’re going to wear those cute fancy white socks for little girls. But what shoes?! White will blend in with socks. Black seems severe? Gold? But then is that a lot going on (gold shoes, white socks, red and white dress, multicolored floral crown)? Is trying to find a matching maroon a lost cause? (I don’t want to spend a ton of money, either, since these shoes are unlikely to get much wear outside of the wedding.) Anything I’m not thinking of?

    • Anonymous :

      White. It’s supposed to blend with the socks.

    • All of these colors would be great given that the dress has maroon and the flower crown will be multi-colored. No need to search for a matching maroon, but I buy my nieces and nephews the cutest shoes from N0rdstr0m and Zara, so if you wanted to look, those would be good starting points. I think your bigger concern will be guessing sizing in two months.

      • Rainbow Hair :

        I did not know that Zara had baby clothes and now I am broke!

        My kid is just growing out of her current shoe size, so I’m pretty confident of what she’ll wear in October, but yeah… I probably just jinxed myself.

        It’s also tricky because I think the oldest cousin might not be in toddler shoe sizes any more, so we need shoes with a big range of sizes available, or just something simple like black mary janes, so if they’re slightly different who cares.

    • Glittery gold?!

    • Anonymous :

      Maroon toddler shoes:

      Mauve toddler flats:

    • Senior Attorney :

      Or pink.

    • Anonymous :

      Matching shoes to a colored dress, even for little kids, is kind of hokey. Dyeables still exist, and I guess people must buy them, but I don’t think it’s a good look. Black, white, or metallic is probably the way to go.

  17. Anonymous :

    I think black patent would look good, esp. with the white socks – it’s classic. Do they make dyeables for little kids? If so you could try matching the maroon.

    • Anony Mouse :

      +1 Black patent is cute, re-wearable, and a whole lot less likely to show dirt than white.

  18. These shoes are so cute and they look comfortable! I will definitely need to look into them!

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