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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 196 Comments · by

Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Faux-Wrap Cashmere Sweater

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. workstyle cashmere sweaterIn the hunt for great cashmere sweaters, I've always had pretty good luck with Neiman Marcus Cashmere Collection cashmere — it's been thick, easy to machine wash on delicate and air dry (proceed at your own risk there, of course, unless the tag says “dry clean” instead of “dry clean only“), and has generally held up pretty well. I like the blousy look for this faux-wrap cashmere sweater, which is marked down and comes in a zillion colors. (It comes in plus sizes, too.)  It was $275, but is now marked to $137 — lots of lucky sizes among the colors, but the green has all of the sizes still in stock. Faux-Wrap Cashmere Sweater Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-all)

Sales of note for 9.30.24

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Comments

  1. MDMom

    This sweater is gorgeous.

    My husband had asked for a more professional backpack for Christmas- that is, more professional than his 15 yr old ll bean backpack. Doesn’t need to be super fancy. Would like it to be roomy and practical. I like the tumi alpha bravo Knox but it seems too small. I’m not willing to pay $500 for the larger tumi bags. Any suggestions? I’m willing to spend up to about $300.

    • Timbuk2?

      Does he need it to fit a laptop? I have a Timbuk2 laptop backpack which I love (I must have looked at 50 different backpacks in my search). Mine is bright blue with pink lining but a more subtle colour scheme could be more professional. I love the organisation inside, the comfort and the sidezip for my laptop.

    • Anonymous

      I have a GoRuck GR1. I have beat the crap out of it for 3 years (carrying it almost every day, flying, have taken trips where it has been my only bag, went to Iceland with me as my primary bag packed with spacebags, etc) and I LOVE it. Super versatile, super useful. My best friend has a GR0 – I had it for 2 weeks once when he took my GR1 to Asia. I prefer the 1 if you are tall enough to pull it off. They have some new models now, too.

      Mine is plain black and very very very unassuming, which is how I want a work backpack. There’s not even a logo on it unless you choose to put a patch on it. I wound a length of sheer ribbon around the top handle and tied it tight (so it’s not frilly) so I could tell it apart from my friend’s bags.

      Just a suggestion! Full-price they run around $300 I think.

    • MDMom

      Thanks for the great suggestions! You ladies really nailed exactly what I was looking for. Now to pick one…

    • Killer Kitten Heels

      Everlane! Just got one for my H for Christmas and it’s gorgeous.

      • brokentoe

        Thank you so much for this recommendation! It looks perfect for my DH! Woo Hoo – shopping done!

  2. Bonnie

    I have a similar sweater and wear it all the time. Maybe it’s time to upgrade to cashmere…

  3. Wildkitten

    This sweater is beautiful. I wish it came in my size in a color other than green.

    • Meg March

      But the green is so gorgeous! (I might just being saying that because I look great in that shade of green…)

      • Wildkitten

        It actually might look great on me too – my eyes can be green on occasion. I’m such a vibrant colors personality I feel silly in muted clothes.

  4. misery loves company

    my last day at my job is this week, and i am doing everything in my power to make the transition of my work as smooth as possible, but if i get one more new assignment to be done before i leave, i think i might liquefy into that radioactive alex mac goop and sink into the floor. gah!

    • Anonymous

      Argh, I feel you. When I left Big Law a partner gave me a big assignment on my last day and was horrified when I said I couldn’t stay late to finish it…good luck, you’ll be out of there soon!

      • S in Chicago

        I raise you 6 weeks notice where you take on new projects by yourself and work/travel through Father’s Day (my dad is terminal) and Fourth of July weekend, working to midnight the last week, and then being called at home AFTER the last day–when you have two days off between jobs–and being asked whether you’re going to come in.

        I answered about a week’s worth of emails while at new job and then realized still doing work at old job was just all kind of crazy pants. Here’s hoping when you walk out the door you’re actually able to be out the door.

      • cbackson

        I solved this by telling everyone that my system access cut off at 5 PM on my last day. And then telling IT to cut off my system access at 5 PM.

        • Anon at 10:07

          Nice, I like this solution! My solution was (truthfully) telling them I had to leave shortly after 5 to head to the airport to catch my cross-country flight to my new home state. The reply was “call me as soon as you land.” Oh Big Law, I do not miss you.

    • Anonymous

      The last job I left, I had a partner call me at home TWO weeks after I had left, and ask me to start a new research project for him.

      • Need to Improve

        Where are these places?!?!? I am sincerely shocked that this goes on. (And it also seems questionable from a risk management standpoint–once the person no longer works for you, they should not have access to client info.) I am at BigLaw in San Francisco and cannot IMAGINE doing this to anyone. Is it a regional thing?

        • Anon at 10:07

          I was in Silicon Valley. But I wasn’t asked to start new projects after I left. I did receive phone calls and emails about work I’d done in the past, which I think is fine from a risk management perspective, but answering these questions well sometimes took a lot of time.

        • Pretty Primadonna

          Right. This sounds crazy as hell. I would have to stifle a laugh if an employer asked any of this of me.

    • Gone baby gone

      I was asked to come in over the holiday weekend that occurred AFTER my last Friday.

      Nope. All the nopes. First, your malpractice insurance no longer covered me. Second, I was taking my first uninterrupted vacation in the five years since I started working there. Third, just no. I don’t work for you anymore.

      I think I actually laughed when he asked me. Realized he was serious. Then, said no again, and then laughed some more.

      • Yikes!

        Also, at least one of my former colleagues went back to her desk AFTER her goodbye happy hour to finish an assignment. She stayed until 1:00AM to finish. What is wrong with us?!

        • Trish

          I finished a brief over the weekend after my last day was on a Friday. The brief was due Monday and I didn’t want to leave my former co-counsel stuck at the last minute. But, that was my choice.

  6. Anonymous

    Hi ladies – looking for advice on how to deal with an annoying relative over the holidays. Without getting into too much detail, my brother-in-law’s wife seems to dislike my husband and routinely insults him. Husband essentially says, who cares, brother seems happy (this is BIL’s pretty recent second marriage following a really bad and abrupt ending to marriage 1), so he can deal. I think that’s the right approach, and I know he doesn’t want me to defend him. But I have a hard time not getting ragey and have really been dwelling on things she said the last time we got together. It has also affected my feelings for BIL, who I used to be fond of prior to this relationship but now think is a glassbowl for never defending his own brother (they are very close). My question is – any great strategies for grinning and bearing it, and more importantly for my own sanity, just letting it roll off my back the way my husband seems able to do?

    • moss

      So, it sounds like she’s trying to pi$$ you off (because she’s insecure or whatever). Is there anyway you can turn it into something amusing for yourself, so that your instinct becomes to laugh at what a cow she’s being? Maybe make a SIL-insult bingo card and when you hit a bingo you get to buy yourself something small & nice?

      I think you’re well within your rights to be annoyed by this annoying behavior but I also totally understand wanting to keep the peace.

      • Senior Attorney

        I was going to suggest glassbowl bingo, too.

        Or just pretend she’s joking and every time she insults him, laugh gaily and say “Oh, SIL, you’re so funny!” Or “Oh my goodness, you have such a dry sense of humor!” Which is kind of a way of calling her on it without calling her on it.

        • moss

          exactly! I’m picturing

          ]SIL: [something horrible]
          you: [peals of merry laughter]

          Not that whatever way she insulted your husband is funny, just that you think she’s so droll that she would say something like that. Maybe tell your husband beforehand that you’re doing that.

          Also say “Bless your heart” a lot.

    • NYNY

      You let it roll off your back by feeling pity for her. If she insults her husband’s brother, she must feel like she’s competing with him for her husband’s affection and attention. And she’s responding to that insecurity with the dignity and aplomb of an eight year old. She’s not worth your anger.

    • Anon

      I think try to let go of whatever happened last time. Look for a fresh start. If you find her really annoying, try to leave the room (drink needs a top up/have to check the turkey) whenever you feel uncomfortable. I often find an “okay then…pause… + change of topic” is a good way to deal if you’re stuck talking to her.

    • Big Sis

      Could you call her on it by saying something like, “You know, gentle teasing is fine in our family, but that came across as a little mean”?

      • Anonymous

        No, don’t do this. The husband wants to ignore it. This is husband’s family and he’s the subject of the insults. Respect his wishes.

    • ezt

      Thanks all. Forgot my handle, I’m the OP on this one. Insult bingo and/or pity are good suggestions. I am a person who tends to dwell on comments/ keep inventing comebacks I’ll never say/ work myself into a rage over old comments and imaginary follow-up conversations. It does help me fuel a good ragey workout sometimes, maybe I’ll tell myself it’s all fitness fodder.

      • lsw

        Oh man, this is me, too. But remember – when you’re staying mad about it, she probably hasn’t thought about it. And that means she’s winning. I try to remind myself of that to help myself let it go.

      • moss

        you’re doing yourself no favors with the stewing. Maybe tell yourself that we’d all be shocked by her horribleness and so you can convince yourself there’s no need to stand up to it. Like, maybe you stew on it because you feel like it would be an injustice to the WORLD to let those things go unchecked. The world will trundle on. Show love to your husband and that’s all you need to do.

        • ezt

          I know, you are so right. I should have just asked for advice on how to stop dwelling on things. That’s my real problem. I should probably just follow the example of my husband who seems to be some kind of zen master ;P

    • anonymama

      What if you just try to say something actually genuinely nice to her every time she says something mean? (or sickeningly sweet if that’s more fun.) Maybe leading by example will either make her less insecure/less likely to insult, or at the very least it may fluster her by being unexpected. And it neatly changes the subject without being rude, but may make her embarrassed about being mean.

      SIL: [something horrible]
      you: [pause] SIL, your eyeliner always looks impeccable. How do you do that?

      SIL: [something horrible]
      you: [pause] You know, husband was just telling me how pleased he is that BIL found someone that makes him happy. I know it’s not always easy to be the newest member of the family but we are really glad that you’re here.

  7. Two Cents

    The last drop of my perfume is now gone, and I’m looking for a new scent. I’m looking for something floral but not overly sweet (I love rose). I also like “clean” scents, if that makes sense. I don’t like musky/spicy. Any ideas?

    • anne-on

      What about the Jo Malone rose scent? Its very true to ‘rose’ and doesn’t veer into grandma territory.

      • Anon

        +1 to Jo Malone. Sophisticated but simple scents. They have a bunch of florals. I love Blue Agava and whatever. I think I smell like root beer.

    • lawsuited

      You might like Kate Spade’s Love Colourfully – it’s very floral (not rose, specifically) and clean.

    • JJ

      A friend introduced me to Le Labo’s Rose 31 scent. It’s, by far, my favorite floral scent that I’ve found, but it’s also relatively expensive.

      I also love Jo Malone Rose, and her Orange Blossom and Gardenia scents.

    • Anon

      I have a similar taste in scents.

      For a pure rose scent try Stella by Stella McCartney

      For a clean floral you might check out Dolce by Dolce and Gabbana

      Chloe is pretty rose forward, but not one of the newer scents. (I’m not talking about 1970s Chloe but the revamp in the early 2000s)

      For a plainer fresh/clean/green scent you might check out L’Eau dIssey Lotus, which is a flanker of the original.

        • lawsuited

          I wear Stella, but I think OP might not enjoy it if she has zero tolerance for musk, because there is some muskiness to Stella.

    • AIMS

      Jo Malone is nice but it’s not perfume, it’s cologne, which may or may not suit you.

      I have similar preferences to what you describe and I really like Bvlgari perfume, there is a jasmine one and a rose one that would probably fit the bill (note: not the night jasmine, I think it’s called Voile du Jasmine or something like that). Also, there is a new Chloe perfume I forget the name but that is both clean and floral – love something.There’s also a great rose scent from Bond No. 9, I think Harrod’s Rose? If you have a Bond store or Saks near you – check it out (some Sephora stores have Bond, but limited scents).

    • Ems

      I’m obsessed with the Peony and Blush Suede by Jo Malone. floral with a hint of clean.

      • Anonymous

        OMG I love that one too.

        It’s my summer smell though. Need a cold weather one that goes with gray dampness.

    • OP

      Thanks for such fantastic ideas! Would Sephora carry most of these? I just want to wander around a store and try a bunch. There is also a Bloomies and Lord and Taylor close to me as well.

      • Anon

        I’m the Anon who suggested Stella. Everything is available at Sephora. Take them up on their offer to decant a little so you can wear on your own a couple of times before you decide.

    • lsw

      I personally love Chanel Chance and your descriptions sound like mine when I’m looking for a perfume.

      • lawsuited

        The original Chance has a fair bit of musk, but Chance eau Fraiche is very clean and Chance eau Tendre is beautifully floral, so one of those might be a winner!

    • anon

      for “clean,” I loooooooove Dior Eau Sauvage. Awfully retro I guess but smells so good!

  8. adult ADD/ADHD

    I recall that someone over here was working through a diagnosis of adult ADD/ADHD. Whomever you are (or someone else similarly!) will you please share your experience with getting the diagnosis? What led you to go that route? How did you ultimately get the diagnosis–who did you have to see/what did you have to do?

    • Runner 5

      I’m in the UK so it’s a bit different but I went to my GP who gave me some things to read about and asked me to fill out a test and write about my experiences. He has then referred me to the adult adhd specialist in the next city but we’ll see how long I have to wait!

    • I was one of them...

      Sorry I am just seeing this – spotty power and internet at my worksite today.

      I went through this somewhat recently after a couple other posters had mentioned it. I was struggling to complete long-term projects, with general focus, etc, and it had been going on for several years and had gotten worse once I lost the structure of graduate school. I talked anecdotally to a couple people and just went for it.

      I found a local psychiatrist who accepted my insurance on ZocDoc and made an appointment. Filled out a bunch of forms before going in. Talked with him for about 45 minutes about my work habits/school habits (I’m a year out of grad school and 4 years in the workforce), life habits, etc. Ultimately, I didn’t get a “diagnosis” of ADHD but he said I certainly had symptoms so wanted me to try a drug. I did IR Aderrall at first and manually titrated my dose (5 mg, 10 mg, 15 mg, 20 mg, etc in the AM and PM) until I found a combo that worked for me, then he used that as a general amount to try me on an ER. I am on vyvanse now and really like it, though I had an appointment this AM and we are trying a slightly lower dose. The stimulants required prior authorization by my insurance. Vyvanse is actually a pretty high tier ($40 copay) but there is a coupon that makes it $40, so I’ll stick with it for now. ER Aderall is available as a generic and is an option for me, too.

      Another plus, it is actually prescribed off-label for binge eating and I have definitely found it helps with my appetite and what I consider a normal meal, actual feelings of hunger, etc. LMK if you have any more questions!

      • OP

        thank you for your comments. My GP said that if I wanted to go through the hoops, it would be a ton of testing and screening and whostruckjohn, so I didn’t know if that was the ONLY path, or if there are degrees of process. When I do some of the self-assessments (including the one that seems to be used by clinicians?) I score very high. I don’t doubt that my symptoms are ADD-type, but I also battle depression, and anxiety (though I am currently not medicated for the anxiety). When I did take anx. meds, they didn’t seem to help, and I read an article the other day about the “missing generation” of autistic adults. The thing that struck me in the article, is that there are tons of adults (elderly, mostly, at this point) who were hidden away and institutionalized, before autism was really “discovered”. These people had been heavily medicated, often for schizophrenia and other behavioral/mood disorders, but the meds didn’t work. That’s because they didn’t have these other disorders.

        So, it made sense to me that maybe an anxiety medication isn’t the right direction for me.

  9. Anon

    My husband’s company pays for a long-term disability policy for their employees but expects the employees to pay the taxes at the end of the year. Is this a thing? I have worked for several companies that have paid for insurance/LTD policies for employees but I was never expected to pay for anything (or the taxes for it) unless I had opted into it.

    • Digby

      Are you sure the tax is for LTD, and not for life insurance? The IRS requires employers who provide more than $50k in company-paid life to calculate the taxable value of the excess life insurance and add that value to the employee’s taxable income for the year. So if the tax is on company-paid life, that makes sense.

      But paying tax on the value of an LTD policy is a new one to me.

      (Of course, if we’re talking about paying taxes on actual disability payments received, that’s a different issue. But I think you’re talking about paying taxes on the calculated value of the policy.)

      • OP

        I wouldn’t be surprised if someone at the company (or possibly my husband) confused the benefit and it is actually life insurance. The company is in a technical field and I don’t think most of his coworkers have a good grasp on HR/legal/compliance issues. Thanks for the clarification.

        • Digby

          If it is group life, it should show up on his W2 with a code of C in box 12 – that’s the easiest way to see the amount, and code C is specifically for the excess life insurance value. Some employers also record it on paystubs every pay period; it can be harder to find it on the paystub, since every employer can design its paystub and code its income sources and deductions however the employer wants – but the taxable value of group life is often coded as GTL (for group term life).

    • NYC tech

      We do this at my company. We actually have the choice to pay the tax ourselves, or to have the company pay it (or not pay the tax? I’m not sure). The way it was explained to me is that you can either pay the tax on the policy as you go, and then if you go on LTD your benefits will be tax-free, or you can pay no tax now but your LTD payments (if/when you go on LTD) would be taxed. I chose to pay now, since the amounts are small, and I figure if I ever go on LTD, I may need every penny then. This is based only on what my HR people told us, not on any independent research.

      • Anon

        This is correct. I was just researching this this morning. Google “do I need long term disability insurance” and two articles from the WSJ and NYT will come up and they explain it.

    • Mpls

      Is this a (weird?) work around so the LTD is considered to be paid “after tax”? Which is actually a benefit to the employee, because any LTD benefit paid to the employee from a LTD plan that is paid “after tax” is not considered taxable income. Though I’ve usually seen the employee also pay the premium for those plans.

    • DC Anon

      My company does this too. The company pays for a very generous LTD policy so I’m more than happy to pay taxes on it.

  10. Famouscait

    Can you use an electric hand mixer with ceramic mixing bowls? Or is that risking a chipped bowl?

    • Cb

      I use mine with a Le Crueset batter bowl. It’s left a few dark marks on the inside but no cracking or anything. I figured it was survival of the fittest, the bowl was £10 from TKMaxx so not horribly precious.

    • Meg March

      My mom uses electric hand mixer with ceramic mixing bowls, and has never had a problem. Her ceramic bowls wear like iron, though– she got them for her wedding in 1980 and they’re pristine despite heavy use.

    • Famouscait

      Thanks y’all! I just bought ceramic mixing bowls from Martha Stewart’s line at Macy’s. I wanted to replace my plastic bowls with something that could go in the microwave, but not at the cost of not being able to use a hand mixer.

      • hoola hoopa

        I’ve done it with MS ceramic bowls from Macy’s, so you’ll be fine. No chips after ~8 years, although they did scratch a bit (hard to say if it was specifically the hand mixer – they had a lot of wear).

        If you want another alternative, Costco has a really great set of pyrex glass bowls with lids. You definitely wouldn’t need to worry there.

  11. Christmas cookies recipes needed!

    I need some ideas for Christmas cookies to make for my neighbor gifts. I’m looking for two or three easy recipes that don’t involve nuts or melting chocolate. Thanks!

    • Anon

      People always rave about these cookies, and they are so simple! Get a box of any cake mix, add a package of cream cheese, one egg, vanilla, and a stick of butter. SO GOOD! Bake at 375 for 8-10 minutes.

      • Rogue Banker

        Gotta love cake mix cookies! They’re also really easy to customize – chocolate chips, sprinkles, dried berries, colored sugar on top, Hershey’s kiss or a dollop of jam in the middle…

    • buffybot

      If you’re doing cookies in volume, I think bar cookies/brownies are your friend — you don’t have to do multiple batches.

      Some possibilities – most from Smitten Kitchen, frankly:
      – cranberry crumb bars with mulling spices from the Smitten Kitchen cookbook – should be able to find this online, too
      – brown butter rice krispies with sea salt (SO GOOD)
      – “Mexican chocolate” brownies (Smitten Kitchen website, “Baked brownie spiced up”)
      – any brownies with crushed candy canes sprinkled on top, about halfway through baking
      – blondies, aka chocolate chip cookies in bar form — I usually add chocolate chips, orange peel, a little bourbon and some pecans, but you can skip the pecans.

      Adding in red and green m&ms is a good way to make any random baked good holiday festive.

    • cheese wafers

      If you want to try something savory, make cheese wafers/straws. So southern!

      1/2 stick of butter @ room temp; 2 c shredded sharp cheddar (the sharper the better); 1.5 c all-purpose flour; 1 tsp salt; 1/4 tsp cayenne (or more, depending on the level of zing you want)

      Cut the ingredients all together in a food processor. If you are making straws, you’ll use a cookie press, but without a press, roll the dough into a log about 2″ diameter. Wrap in wax paper or parchment & chill for a bit until it is firm again. When you’re ready to bake, just slice off cookies about 1/8-1/4″ thick. Bake 10-15 min at 300 until brown at the edges. The beauty of this dough & process, is that you can bake a ton, or just a few at a time.

      • Gail the Goldfish

        If you’re a fan of spicy, you can also add diced jalapenos to the dough instead of more cayenne pepper. Cheese straws are the best.

  12. Anon

    Husband and I are moving across town – anyone have resources to recommend about how to think about packing? Specifically what we should get rid of/ donate/ etc. as we pack? Thanks.

    • emeralds

      My #1 packing tip from my last move, courtesy of this community, was to use garbage bags as garment bags. Worked like a dream for me.

      • Cat

        Me too! Thanks to whoever was the OP of that suggestion. I also numbered my bags after they were all complete, to make it easy to (1) verify they all made it to the new place, and (2) put my clothes in the same order they were in my old closet.

        Anyway, while organizing, I had a giant “donate” area set aside in the corner of the room, and put a clipboard & pen there. Any time I set something aside to donate, I wrote it down right then. I was also liberal with the trash can — remember that everything you pack, you also have to move and unpack, so I was really motivated to donate/trash as I packed rather than having to touch the same thing 3 extra times.

    • Senior Attorney

      Get rid of almost everything in the kitchen and in the bathroom. Your spices, canned goods, dry goods, OTC medications, etc. are all probably expired anyway. Toss them and buy new for the new house.

      Also I bought my own wardrobe boxes so I could pack them in advance and not wait to borrow them from the movers. They were pretty cheap and it was great to be able to completely empty my closets in advance.

      • Anonymous

        I disagree with this completely – spices and bathroom products tend to be very expensive compared to their weight, so I think it’s worth moving those things. I wouldn’t bring a huge sack of flour or something like that that’s heavy and cheap to replace, but spices are worth it IMO, especially if you buy high quality spices. Plus they’re easy to move, just toss them all in a box.

        • Senior Attorney

          If they’re still fresh, sure. But last time I moved I’d lived in my house for 20 years and it’s just dumb to move very old spices and bathroom products.

    • Baconpancakes

      I did Marie Kondo as I was packing for my last move, and I got rid of a TON of stuff.

    • Anonymous BigLaw Associate

      Are full-service professional movers out of the question? I know it is expensive, but has been completely worth it. Saves tons of time, backache (literally), dry/damages hands, etc.

      Also, disagree with whoever said to throw out all your kitchen and bathroom stuff. Depending on what you have, you could be throwing away hundreds if not thousands of dollars worth of stuff that is perfectly fine. Definitely worth going through it before the move so you don’t end up moving a bunch of stuff you end up just tossing anyways.

      • Anon

        Thanks everyone! This is a bunch of great advice. We are going to have professional movers do the actual day-of moving but I want to pack up my own stuff…

    • shadow

      Pack one box that is just “essentials” – like soap, toothpaste, paper plates, toilet paper – so that you don’t have to worry about unpacking a lot right after you move and can live out of your essentials box for at least that night or the next day. Then you can take your time unpacking.

      For what to throw away… Consider throwing away/donating things you haven’t used in the past year, or that doesn’t have any value to you. Consider also throwing away old bathrugs or old kitchen rugs – anything that’s old or broken or falling apart should be tossed.

      Also, sometimes people on craigslist will be giving away moving boxes for free. Old newspapers are helpful for packing plates/bowls/cups, etc. I like the plastic totes at Target/Staples for packing some items too.

  13. Legally Brunette

    I’m looking for a $20-$25 range gift for my housekeeper’s 5 year old son. He is partially deaf and wears a cochlear implant. Any ideas?

    • SSJD

      At that age my boys love action figures (Superman, Hulk, the Flash). Minions are also popular. Puzzles are more educational and still enjoyable for many kids. My 4 year old recently got kids’ binoculars and likes them. Legos are another option though some are for older kids, so look at the recommended age range on the box.

    • Anonymous

      As a mom of a daughter with two cochlear implants, I’d say give him just what you’d give to any other 5 year old boy!

      • ORD

        I’ve had a cochlear implant for close to 20 years. Hope things are going well with your daughter! If the OP is looking for something hearing related, maybe something like Dr. Seuss audiobooks.

        • Anonymous

          Thanks for asking! She received her first at 2.5 and her second at 5. She is 10 now. Life is not without ups and downs, but we can’t imagine what life would be like without the miraculous technology that allows her to go off to school every day with her hearing peers. I am thankful to work for an employer who gives me the flexibility I need to have the time to work through some of the extras that come with being her mom (coordinating schedules for speech therapists and itinerant teachers of the deaf, making mapping appointments, etc.).

    • In House Lobbyist

      Art supplies. My 5 year old goes through them so fast. Mine also loves the crayola dry erase board with dry erase crayons.

      • consumables

        Amen–art supplies & the like are a hot commodity. Our kids go through consumables like crayons, markers, glue/sticks, & paper relatively quickly.

        • Meg Murry

          Another +1 for art supplies. At 5 you still want something washable, like washable crayons or markers, but it doesn’t have to be anything like the “color wonder” things that only draw on special paper. My kids especially like the scissors that make fancy cuts (wavy lines, etc) that you get in the scrapbooking section. Stickers are good too.

          Picture books would be good as well. Dr Seuss is always a classic. If You Give a Mouse a Cookie and that series are family favorites. Mo Willems was also super popular with younger kids and early readers.

          As far as the cochlear goes, I agree with everyone above that you can treat him just like any other kid. My son wears a hearing aid and the only thing that he has differently is that he can’t wear standard headphones -otherwise he likes everything a typical kid his age does.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t know, the tone of that article really annoyed me, emphasizing the horror of (gasp) moving to Santa Clara when talking about a homeless woman relocating from a van in Palo Alto to stable housing in a less posh suburb a few miles down the road. It’s not like she was forced to relocate to Kansas. I don’t really think it’s all that terrible that there are certain super rich enclaves of the bay area that people living on $1,000 a month can’t afford. Honestly, it’s a lot easier for someone on social security benefits to relocate than it is for a blue collar worker who has to show up at a job in Palo Alto every day. I have a lot more sympathy for the latter.

      • anonymama

        What? She seemed happy to relocate. To me it seemed more that the difficulty was a 70-something year old woman leaving the area where she had lived for decades, where she was familiar with everything, had some sort of a social network, and a PO box, storage unit, etc., and so few resources for being able to figure out the move at all. And it hardly seems fair to make a neighboring, less wealthy city pay for the homeless people produced by the super rich city next door. Fine if super-rich enclaves make laws specifically to keep low-income people from living there, but then they are effectively free-riding off of the programs provided by their neighboring cities, and they should certainly be required to actually deal with the problem instead of just pushing it off to someone else, especially because they actually do have the resources to be able to do something.

      • padi

        I get it that, for her to receive social services, moving to Santa Clara was a hardship.

        Palo Alto brought their homeless crisis on themselves. They don’t provide enough housing–even for people earning six figures in the startups on University. For years, Palo Alto has ignored the problem and expected other cities to house its workers. And, because of the tax structure in California, they are motivated to do just that.

        I am in downtown San Jose; I know of two projects within a mile of me for permanently housing homeless people. I know of about a dozen other proposed residential projects in this neighborhood. Thing is, though, in order for the city to break even tax-wise, only highrise projects make any sense. Those take a long time to plan and build.

        Shame on Palo Alto and all the other cities between San Francisco and San Jose for focusing only on office space and failing to provide housing for their workers.

    • Anonymous

      I see the flip side in my LCOL area: everyone in the family is here but no one has a job and yet they won’t move even an hour away to a still LCOL area where you can get a job.

      You’d think there weren’t roads and automobiles (and we even have busses) and phones and TV and cable and DirecTV to show that there are other places and those other places have jobs. No language barriers. Nothing stopping you. Good community colleges b/w here and there.

      Nothing makes me stabby like the word “can’t”.

    • Dulcinea

      It’s sad that everyone can’t live exactly where they want to, but it’s reality and there are much worse things. It is an endemic aspect of a capitalist economy. I work with people losing their housing and the fact that many of them flat-out refuse to consider moving to a town an hour away is why they end up homeless. And I am not talking about people with jobs for whom the cost of the commute would be a factor – that’s a different situation. It’s especially upsetting to me that, more than once, client have told me they don’t want to move because they don’t want to live in a town with a lot of minorities.

      That said, it’s hard to imagine anywhere that living on $1k per month would be comfortable, but I am from the Northeast US and I hear things are a lot cheaper in the midwest/other parts of the country.

  15. Basically Crash

    I’m really stressed out this week. I interviewed with a company last week and was told I’d hear back by Friday. But I still haven’t heard anything despite two requests for updates. The hiring manager knows I’m on a tight deadline with my contract up at the end of the month and talks of renewal need to take place this week (as in tomorrow!) and yet nothing. I don’t need a decision right now, I know these things take time, but the fact that he’s not even updating me on the timeline is freaking me out.

    And of course I haven’t given up hope, when being ignored for 3-5 days seems to be such a normal part of the process. Seriously, for every job I’ve gotten, at some point I was tearing out my hair wondering why the manager wasn’t getting back to me. I hate how commonplace this is. Why is it so hard to send a quick “something came up, I’ll be in touch tomorrow, sorry for the delay” kind of message? I would much rather know there’s a delay than not hear anything at all.

    • Ellen

      Yay Kat, I love Neiman Marcus and think this is an excellent Cashemere sweater, but I would wear it with a nice contrasting CAMI. Not all that expensive either!

      As for the OP, Hug’s to you, but try to remember that it is dificult this time of year b/c there are so many thing’s peeople at work are doing with the holiday’s and year end. If you are a lawyer, you MUST get all of your year end billeings in. If you are a business person, you MUST close all of your deal’s. If you are a contractor, you MUST line up all of your year-end contracts, and if you are an investor (or work for others in investeing), you MUST determine what trade’s to make and what losses (or gain’s) to take for CAPITOL gain’s purposes. Ed told me that he is SO busy this time of year that he did NOT have time to do any shoppeing for Rosa and the kids (or anyone else). So he just gave Rosa some extra cash to spend on herself and the kid’s.

      So OP, if you are concerned, try to focus on some other thing’s. You have done all you can and must wait b/c those peeople have alot on their plate’s to deal with in addition to you (who are important also).

    • Hollis

      I am sorry you are going through this. I do think that for your sanity, it would be better for you to assume that you don’t have the job until you hear otherwise – hiring decisions stop and start for all kinds of reasons that are in your control, and you have no control over the timeline. And unfortunately, the people who are in the hiring process are often not in any hurry to move things along too quickly. Please continue looking for and applying for other jobs to take your mind – you never know, there might be a better position just around the corner.

  16. ins q

    does anyone here have a chronic medical condition and an individual policy for life or disability insurance? husband and i are trying to make sure we have the appropriate level of insurance for our family needs, but type 1 diabetes is pushing the rates off the charts… have you found any great brokers or insurers? any tips for finding the best coverage for the best price?

    • Anonymous

      I’m using Lifequotes.com – that’s who GEICO (our homeowners insurer) offers. They seem to be doing a good job so far (in process now). I know T1D was one of the things my prospective policy excludes though so that may be how it goes.

    • Betty

      My husband has type 1 diabetes, and we have seriously struggled to find life or disability insurance. He takes out the max guaranteed issue (the amount that is permitted without a health exam/history), and I take out the same for him through my work for life insurance. It is not nearly enough. The only way we try and compensate is that I am healthy and take out enough life insurance so that if we were both killed at the same time, our kids would be covered.

      Other than that, when we have asked in the past, insurers have requested that his A1C be below 6, which just isn’t possible for him right now.

  17. Managing Cash

    How do you allocate your NET cash (after insurance, 401k, bills paid, etc)? We are 12 mos into a new employment situation with much higher income level that we had before, but we struggle with figuring out how to manage it most effectively.

    We have 6 mos of living expenses saved in a rainy day fund, 401k maxed out, and now we just have cash piling up in a bank account that had otherwise been dubbed “down payment savings”. We bought a house this year, and so it’s really just left over and no longer for a down payment. Should I be calling on an adviser at Fidelity or Schwab, with whom we have 401ks and IRAs, to get some real advice? How do you budget/allocate for vacations? I really wish that savings account had sub accounts so I could say X is for vacation fund, X is for renovation fund, and X is what is truly “left over”. Thoughts?

    • DC Anon

      I’d hire a fee-based financial planner, where you pay them a fee to go meet with them, talk through your concerns and goals and current financial situation, and then they’ll help you put together a plan that you can implement on your own. I can’t stress how much less expensive this route is than having an adviser “manage” your money, where you’re either 1) paying commissions, so they’re incentivized to put you into investments that pay them a high commission, or 2) paying a percentage of your assets as an annual fee (usually 1% or so), which is effectively taking 1% off of your investment performance every year (doesn’t sound like much but has a huge impact on your assets over time). You can find a fee-based financial planner at napfa.org.

      Separately, for budgeting, I started using YNAB software recently and it has completely changed the way I budget/allocate for things like vacations. I have tried various other budget/allocation software like Mint, etc. and YNAB is by far the best. You can always download a trial version to test it out and see if it works for you.

      • Wildkitten

        Online banks – Ally, Cap One 360, etc – allow you to have lots of accounts with different names so you can have your renovation fund, emergency fund, vacation fund etc.

        You can also ladder your emergency fund in CDs. And of course, it’s always nice to donate to charity (and get the tax break).

    • Senior Attorney

      I have separate savings accounts for all kinds of things: Vacation, house stuff, property taxes, charitable donations, gifts/holidays, car maintenance, you name it. I have online accounts at ally.com and it’s super easy to have multiple savings accounts and then transfer money to my checking account to cover expenses. And I do a zero-based budget where all those accounts get funded first and every penny has a job to do.

      • OP

        That’s interesting. Do you use Ally for savings only? If so, do you pay fees to transfer money in and out of Ally?

        I use Schwab for checking and love it (no fees for anything, amazing customer service, etc), so I’m not dying to switch but would if it was compelling enough.

      • Senior Attorney

        I use it for checking and savings. No fees, pretty good customer service. The only thing I don’t like is they don’t credit deposits immediately but it’s not much of an issue.

        • Senior Attorney

          They obviously credit my payroll direct deposits immediately. But when I e-deposit a check from another source they’ll put a hold on it for a day or two.

    • Anonymous

      You can totally make separate savings accounts for those things. It is very common and considered a best practice even. If you’ve got fairly large deposits with a financial institution it shouldn’t cost you anything either. If it does you need a new bank or credit union.

    • Lyssa

      I would rather have separate savings accounts, but haven’t gotten around to getting them, so this is my work-around – We budget using the envelope system (the GoodBudget App), but I have a couple of envelopes that I think of as “funds.” While everything else gets used up each month, the fund envelopes roll – I contribute whatever I can into them each month and then transfer the total amount over the next month. This is all on paper (well, screen); there is no separate account, but it allows me to have a good understanding of what we can spend. I use it for gifts (saving up for Christmas) and what I think of as a home fund (that covers things like clothing and household stuff that I might only buy sporadically, but spend more than I could spare in any given month when I do), and I’ll probably start doing vacations like that next year, too.

    • KateMiddletown

      I would recommend the cheesy-sounding website/blog I Will Teach You To Be Rich to help you “automate” as he calls it your bills. Open up a few online checking/savings accounts and have paychecks directly deposited as a % into each one. He isn’t a bs-er, and you can get most of the great content for free from his blog.

      I use Ally and have 1 checking (in = paychecks, out = non-credit card eligible bills and credit card)and 2 savings accounts (LT/ST), plus a brokerage account.

  18. Vacation Etiquette

    I wanted to thank those who responded to my question re: when it is ok to take a vacation after lateraling in biglaw. Guess I needed to hear it. Sigh.

    • AnonLondon

      Not sure what people wound up saying yesterday, but I’ve known many people who lateraled with fixed vacation plans sooner than 6 months out and no one blinked. Our most recent lateral took the job saying he had a paid-for vacation a month in and honestly, it was completely fine. In an office where people are snippy about vacations in general, maybe not, but I’m also in the camp of TAKE YOUR VACATION across the board.

      • Vacation Etiquette

        My experiences have been skewed towards the camp of “we are doing you a favor by allowing you to go on this vacation” (even where associates are just taking days they accrued). Fingers crossed that my new firm will be different.

        • Anon

          Lateraling early next year. When I got the offer, I said I had a vacation booked and paid for before I’d have the time accrued for and they said no problem, they’d write it into my offer. As it turns out, I’ll be starting post-vacay, but yeah, think this is v. standard (and also, probably, something men wouldn’t be as hesitant about). See also: I angsted about asking for a pay bump on the offer, and the partner I’ll be working for signed off on it about 10 minutes after I asked. NY Biglaw.

    • Anonymous

      When I lateraled, I had a one week vacation planned and paid for less than two months out. I wouldn’t earn the vacation time before my vacation so I asked to “work remotely” and, because it was the week between Christmas and New Years, I ended up having basically nothing to do, so I got to take a real vacation (albeit with laptop in tow). It was actually the most work-free vacation I ever had in Big Law.

    • anon

      Could you link to the original discussion? I think I missed it. FWIW, I just lateraled recently and told them I was taking vacation between christmas and new years. Am actually taking even longer than that… not sure how that will work, just doing it, and it seems like it will be okay!

    • TXLawyer

      I’m in the camp that thinks it’s ok to tell your new employer “I have a previously-planned trip for ‘x’ date and I’ll be out ‘y’ days.” I feel like at the very beginning is the best time to do that since you won’t be so involved in anything that your firm will freak out about your absence.

      • Anon

        I have had trips booked when I started my last two jobs and just told them when I accepted with no issues. At my previous job (law firm), the managing partner made a big deal about how he was making an exception for me and I later found out that everyone did this and it was in no way an exception (that attitude was typical of the managing partner). At my new job (in house), everyone was fine with it. If it’s already booked when you start, I think it’s fine. If it’s not already booked, I probably wouldn’t take vacation for the first 6 months, probably a year if it is a vacation-unfriendly job.

  19. Health insurance

    I posted a long time ago about taking significant time off between my BigLaw job and clerking (thanks for all of the advice!) and it’s finally coming together: I’m going travel the world for 7 months next year. SO EXCITED!! Now that I’m closer to my departure date, I’m starting to work out some of the logistical/practical details (way less exciting), including health insurance. I will lose my employer-provided healthcare when I quit, and I will not need regular U.S.-based coverage while I’m away (for things like preventative care, etc.) so I was planning to get travel medical insurance to cover emergencies/medical evacuation/hospital stays/etc. However, I cannot find a travel medical plan that is ACA-compliant, and it seems like perhaps none of them CAN be because they are not annually renewable, don’t cover things like maternity, etc. As a U.S. citizen I believe I am subject to the penalty for not having Minimum Essential Coverage unless I will be (1) out of the country for 330 days or more (sadly not applicable) or (2) will only be without coverage for 3 months or less (also not me). The penalty is quite significant: the greater of $695 or 2.5% of income (I think I will make about $50K next year so this would be about $1250, although I think it’s prorated, so about $730). It looks like my options are (1) get travel medical, only, and pay the penalty, or (2) find the absolutely cheapest, bare-bones U.S.-based ACA-compliant coverage I can find for those 7 months AND get travel medical (because most U.S. plans do not provide much coverage abroad, and a cheap one certainly won’t). Am I right that those are my only options? And that there is no such thing as an ACA-compliant travel medical insurance plan? I live in NY currently, does that mean I need to get a NY plan (based on browsing on the marketplace I can’t seem to find one for under $300/month)? Also, will my insurance from my clerkship kick in on my first day of work, or some other date? What’s the best way to find more information about this? It seems like the penalty will be cheaper than buying a useless ACA-compliant plan, but I want to make sure that’s right. Happy to pay to talk to someone (a tax advisor? insurance broker?) to figure this out if it’s going to save me $$ in the long run. Would be grateful for any and all advice! (About this or any other aspect of long term RTW travel :))

    • Anonymous

      No advice about the insurance stuff, unfortunately (honestly, I find it extremely confusing as a regular full-time office worker with coverage through my employer) but would love to hear more details about where you’re going. If you’re posting any online travel diary, share the link here. I’m always looking for good travel blogs to fuel my wanderlust.

    • Wildkitten

      Clerkship insurance will probably kick in the 1st day of the month after you start working. So, you start in mid-August, it’ll kick in on 9/1.

    • Anon

      Definitely get ACA+ travel. Depending where or how severely you are injured, your travel insurance may just bring you back to the States and not cover your care once you are back – that’s why you need ACA.

    • Need to Improve

      I would get the cheapest possible ACA plan and skip the travel medical. I traveled overseas extensively after the bar, after clerking, etc.–like for 3 months at at time, and 6 months at a time–and did not get insurance. I got sick from stuff like food poisoning, and once had to get emergency contraception, and it was really cheap to just pay out of pocket to see a local doctor. Other countries have much more reasonable health care pricing. Obviously it will be different if something major happens, but I would not worry about coverage for the day-to-day. I looked at this and determined travel insurance was ind of a rip-off.

    • NYNY

      You can get catastrophic coverage, which meets the ACA minimal essential coverage criteria, for ~175/month. I would do that over travel insurance.

      Also, since you won’t be working, you may qualify for one of the new “essential” plans NY is offering. They are for low-income New Yorkers who do not qualify for Medicaid, and have a $20/month premium. I believe losing your coverage is a qualifying life event, so you can sign up when it happens.

      Finally, if you go with an ACA plan, I would advise choosing a carrier other than OSCAR. They are in bad shape financially, and may go under next year. If they close while you’re covered by them, you’ll have to go through the selection process again mid-year.

    • padi

      Also consider medical evacuation insurance if you are going to be in remote areas where helicopter evac is the only transportation. I am a scuba diver so I carry DAN insurance. It is intended to cover diving emergencies but will cover non diving issues when I am more than fifty miles from home.

  20. Anon

    Dear people of my office- PLEASE don’t clip your nails at your desk. and certainly don’t clip your toenails! Love, everyone who works with you and has to listen to the clicking of your nail clippers

    • Basically Crash

      I feel you! I get that sometimes nails break and you gotta fix a jagged edge, so the (very) occasional emergency clipping is understandable, but if someone’s constantly grooming their nails at work, it’s like . . . nails on a chalkboard!

      • Anonymous

        That is what the restroom is for, not your open floorplan desk! Please ladies, no groomimg at your desk when others can see you. For your own sake.

        • lawsuited

          Meh, I file a broken nail/re-apply lipstick/run a comb through my hair at my desk. No way am I traipsing to the bathroom to do that.

          • Basically Crash

            Same here. I know the bathroom is the ideal place for that stuff and I also know that grooming in view of others isn’t the classiest thing in the world, but occasional quick fixes are fine. I blot my face with oil absorbing sheets at my desk all the time, consensus over at AAM was that that was fine to do at my desk.

            (to be clear, I also work in casual environments)

  21. Trish

    PRESENT HELP NEEDED PLEASE. My son’s 16 year old girlfriend has a Target wristlet that she carries all the time. I want to get her a designer wristlet but have no idea what designers the teenagers think are cool right now. I don’t want to get her something that either her mom or I would wear!

    • Anon

      This might be something that depends on the area you are in, but my teenage daughter and her friends all love Michael Kors right now.

    • Wildkitten

      Agree Kate Spade, Michael Kors, Tory Burch. Can you get one at Nordstrom and include a gift receipt in case she needs to exchange for another color or one that fits her phone or whatever she wants in a wristlet?

    • TO Lawyer

      I would add Rebecca Minkoff to this list. I got a Rebecca Minkoff wristlet for a younger cousin and I am now officially the cool older cousin.

    • KateMiddletown

      Figure out what phone she has first. This is the most important part as many don’t fit the 6 plus. Kate Spade does have one – I found it in gold at The Rack for $75.

  22. Thrilled

    I just have to let it out somewhere: I just found out I am getting a huge unexpected promotion! It was such a great way to start the week and much needed confirmation that I can move ahead doing things in a way that feels like me. Thank you for all the great advice here over the years!

  23. Anon for this

    I am just realizing how emotionally abusive my ex was to me. I know….I know….

    On the one hand at least it explains why it has taken me SO LONG to get over him and why even to this day I’m still not over him, still concerned with doing things he would disagree with, etc. I feel so weird that it took me so long to realize he was so manipulative and destroyed my self-confidence and sense of self. I like to think I have a good head on my shoulders — I’m pretty quick to end toxic friendships. I can’t believe I let him do this to me. I can’t believe it took me years to see him for who he really was.

    Not really sure what I’m looking for by posting. And yes I am in therapy.

    • Senior Attorney

      I hear you. I’ve been with Lovely Gentleman Friend for more than a year now, and I’m just now starting to get past the point where I’m constantly comparing him to Crazy Former Husband and thinking “wow, this would have been a fight” and “wow, this would have gotten me the Silent Treatment,” and worrying that it’s too good to be true and it’s all going to disappear tomorrow. A friend of mine calls it Relationship PTSD and I think she’s not far wrong.

      Anyway, big hugs and congratulations for getting out!

    • Wildkitten

      When you are newly processing old things the emotions will come up again and you have to deal with them again to work it out. I imagine it’s like how people supposedly have acid flashbacks when exercising because the acid stuck in their fat is escaping with the burn. But your visual may vary!

    • Anon

      I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 3 years during and after college. I’ve been taking stock of my emotional health lately and I’m stunned (and saddened) to see that he shaped so much of my sense of self. It’s been 15 years! I’m in my mid-30s! I’m a competent, confident, and successful woman…but the insecurities he built are still there deep inside. I never dealt with the insecurities because my ex-husband (not the abuser) was very good at compensating for them/building me up. But I’m dating someone new now and want the best for our relationship, and that’s how I’ve realized I have this serious work to do. Thankfully, a stack of self-help books is doing wonders and I have a recommendation for a therapist. So you CAN unlearn these patterns, rebuild yourself, and feel like you can breathe deeply again! Good luck to you on the journey. And the best advice I’ve ever received: be gentle with yourself.

    • Anonymous BigLaw Associate

      Yeah, this stuff can linger on and on. I was in an emotionally (and at the end physically) abusive relationship many years ago. And even though I am married now to someone who isn’t a d-bag, I still think about the terrible things he said to me about my “flaws” and half-wonder if any of it had any truth.

  24. Baconpancakes

    Anyone have any experience with Reformation dresses? They’re having a sale, which means the royal blue Lochness dress I’ve been in lurve with since June is a totally reasonable (ha!) final sale price, and I’m trying to decide whether to pull that trigger.

  25. CountC

    For anyone that remembers my gripe about the costs of the hearing aid surgery I mentioned previously – I finally got the estimated cost of the implant surgery for the bone-conduction hearing aid and it’s too much money for me to justify spending, especially considering I don’t NEED it and I may have some larger expenses in 2016 that are unavoidable. I have the money in savings, but still don’t feel comfortable using it. I was looking forward to having surround sound again and being able to run and hear everything around me. I am bummed.

    A reminder to buy a Powerball ticket tonight!

    • Anonymous

      Wait what? What is the point of having savings if not to allow yourself the full use of your senses? Pay the money! Get the surgery!

    • Wildkitten

      Can you use your FSA and hit your out of pocket max on health insurance?

    • Senior Attorney

      What? No!

      Get the surgery and cut back somewhere else if necessary!

    • CountC

      Thanks ladies. I get nervous when I dip into savings because I have some irrational (maybe not?) fear that I will have some crisis and need ALL the moneys. It’s hard for me to view this as something that is worth it because I have been going along fine without the right ear hearing for a long time now.

      I definitely can try to cut back on some things, although I live pretty lean as it is. I wasn’t planning on taking a vacation this year anyway, because I use that PTO and money to visit my LD boyfriend once a month every other month.

      Hmm, you all are certainly making me consider changing my mind, so thank you for that!

      As for FSA, I don’t use one because I usually don’t have many medical costs and open enrollment is over. I would have to pay up to my out of pocket limit which is $3k, which is perhaps why it’s so scary to me. $3k, while I have it, is a lot of money!!

        • Anonymous

          Do it! Really truly. Hearing loss is one of those rough things where you don’t realize how much you are missing out on. Hugs!

    • Anonymous

      Do it! As the mom from above of the daughter with two cochlear implants, I know that the surgically implanted hearing technologies can be life changing. While two fully functioning ears are not “necessary,” listening with just one ear can be exhausting and affects you in probably more ways than you realize. This is a good investment in your future, and well worth the short term impact on your savings.

    • Wildkitten

      I had elective eye surgery this year. Yeah – I could technically see without it, and I’d rather have not had to pay for it, but I see much better since. I really fought having to get it because I wanted things to just work without spending the money, but as we are at the end of the year I have decided it was the best money I spent this year.

      Can you apply for a high limit credit card and reassure yourself that if sh*t really hits the fan you can charge stuff? That might make you feel better about wiping your savings for ear surgery.

  27. Kiki

    WORK ADVICE NEEDED:

    I’m being offered another position but am seriously comfused.
    – job I’m in: great pay, amazing logistics(work from home basically every day which lets me run every morning and cook dinners for my kids ), love my boss, have earned lots of respect from company. Cons: on the insurance side which I don’t like, work itself is only “ok”
    – job being offered: pay is the same but title is a big jump up (director vs senior manager), I have to commute into the city three times per week or more, work itself is exactly what Want to do….great experience.

    What do I do???

    • Wildkitten

      It sounds like you want to take the offer. So, is there a way to make it work?

      Can you do the lateral (in pay) transition now but get a higher salary in your dream field later? Can you cook on Sundays so your family has good healthy food during the week without you cooking every day? Would the same great pay allow you to use a service that cooks healthy dinners for you, at least sometimes? Can you still make time to exercise – either at home or near the new office?

      Do you have a partner who can do some of the things (like cooking dinner) while you transition to the new job?

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