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Cyber Monday’s Workwear Report: Sauna Pleat Front Jersey Dress

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Nov. 2024 Update: The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale is over for the year, and we don't yet know when the 2025 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale will be. Stay tuned for their Half-Yearly Sale, which usually starts around Dec. 23. (Unfamiliar with the NAS? Check out this page for more info on why it's the best sale of the year.) Sign up for our newsletter to stay on top of all the major workwear sales, or check out our roundup of the latest sales on workwear!

The below content is about the 2016 Nordstrom Black Friday Sale.

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

nordstrom-cyber-monday-sale-2016

Happy Cyber Monday, ladies — are you on the hunt for anything in particular today? I keep going back to the Nordstrom sale (I've placed like four orders now) and there's still a ton of great stuff, including some items that are an extra 20% off in honor of Cyber Monday. (I'm still looking through the inventory to see if it's the same clothes from earlier in the weekend. Here was our workwear roundup when the Nordstrom Thanksgiving sale began; here are some gift ideas I put together from the sale — that purple sweater at the top of the post is super soft and machine washable; I highly recommend if you're on the hunt for yourself or a friend.) I'll update the prices in the post if there are any changes as per today's sale.) Designer duds like this gorgeous Max Mara dress (pictured) are on sale, but not the extra 20% off deal, alas — but it is still marked 40% off. I love the graceful, sophisticated pleat wrap, work-appropriate length, and the fact that the stylist here resisted overstyling it, letting your imagination do the work. (I'd either add a long, opera-length necklace or perhaps a heavily textured belt, like a black haircalf belt perhaps.) The dress was $745, but is now marked to $446. Max Mara ‘Sauna' Pleat Front Jersey Dress

Here's a great plus size sheath dress that's now down to $95, and this previously recommended Splurge dress with wrap details is now down to $167 (!).

Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Sales of note for 3/26/25:

  • Nordstrom – 15% off beauty (ends 3/30) + Nordy Club members earn 3X the points!
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale + additional 20% off + 30% off your purchase
  • Banana Republic Factory – Friends & Family Event: 50% off purchase + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 30% off tops, tees, dresses, accessories, sale styles + warm-weather styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Shorts under $30 + extra 60% off clearance + up to 60% off everything
  • M.M.LaFleur – 25% off travel favorites + use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – $64.50 spring cardigans + BOGO 50% off everything else

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

(L-all)

345 Comments

  1. I’ll be moving to Benning Rd a couple of blocks east of H st. in DC next year. I have a car that for the time being, I’m expecting to park on the street. Is street parking a terrible idea? Am I just asking for damage/break ins? and if I have body work that I could have done on my car now, should I skip that? It’s a 13 year old car, but I expect to keep it until it dies.

    1. Street parking is not a terrible idea, but I would be absolutely meticulous about not leaving ANYTHING in the car, ever. A friend goes so far as to leave the glove box open to show that there’s nothing of value in the car.

      1. Yes, this. The only time my car was broken into was during an ice storm, when the windows were iced over, but my SO’s car was broken into twice because he keeps stuff in his backseat all the time.

    2. I have parked outside/street for decades. Keep nothing visible in the car. Not even a garbage bag or your sweaty gym clothes. All goes in the trunk.

      Definitely skip the body work. Save your $ (and deductible). And just accept the fact that your car will get dinged and worse.

      My 18 year old Toyota Camry is a tank and I am driving it into the ground and saving a lot of $$. And I park on the street.

    3. My car has been broken into once (In SE DC, but I live off of H now), and when I filed the police report, an officer told me cars with out of state license plates get targeted more often than cars with DC plates. Just something to think about when you make the move. You might want to make switching your plates one of the first things on your to-do list if you’re worried about break-ins. But echoing the others about having nothing of value in your car, a few quarters in one of the cup holders was enough to motivate someone to break in to my car. It was maybe $2 total.

    4. Skip the body work for now. If you’re worried about additional dings, you can get a bumper armor although I just accept that dings will be part of city parking.

    5. I’ll echo all the advice here, and add a reminder to be aware of when you’re stashing things in the trunk. Put anything of value away before you arrive at your destination. I got my trunk broken into once (according to the police, it’s very easy to do!) because I made the mistake of parking, then asking my friend to wait while I put my bag in the back.

  2. 1. I think that this dress would be all sorts of tragic on me (short-waisted pear).

    2. There are two types of families. Not quite as Tolstoy claimed (happy and unhappy), but instead there are

    Those Who Find Flatulence to be an Art Form
    And
    Those Who Do Not

    It makes me almost stop believing in evolution.

    1. Yay! I am NOT sure about your 2 point’s.

      The first I agree with. I have short leg’s but a long body, so I must not look too squat, dad say’s. I therefore wear 4″ heel’s to make my leg’s longer.

      As for your second point, I am NOT sure anyone like’s FLATULENCE. Dad always accuses mom of smelling up the toilet, but that is where she has to go poopie, as do the rest of us. Beside’s Dad also makes poopie and his flatuleance is NOT exactly Channel #5. FOOEY!

  3. I was devastated for my friends in the UK after Brexit, and for my friends in America after the election. I was thankful my country had a progressive, feminist leader. After this weekend I am devastated for myself.

    My family had to flee Cuba because we were declared enemies of the state. I was 3 when we left on a boat in the middle of the night secretly. We stayed in Florida first and then joined my mom’s relatives that escaped in Canada. My dad’s relatives settled in Florida. The ones who didn’t escape Cuba died and I don’t have any living relatives there.

    I couldn’t believe the statement Trudeau made about Castro’s death. I cried when I heard it. I have no love for Rubio but he was completely right when he called Trudeau out. I campaigned for Trudeau’s party and celebrated when he won. It was a slap in the face to hear him uplift the man who killed my relatives and forced us to flee for our lives. I am so upset this morning and just needed to vent.

    1. Agreed — that was just shocking. Does he get his history from someplace like his facebook feed? I was wondering what he’d have said if one of the N. Korean guys had died. Or someone like Stalin.

    2. I had a friend, who I usually respect, say that the only people who hated Fidel were white and that you heard them bemoaning their lack of privilege. And that he was good to black Cubans (and the proof offered for this was a link to how he sheltered an escaped convict convicted of murder of a NJ State Trooper). Nice.

        1. Adding that it even has a better infant mortality rate that the USA – “The infant mortality rate in Cuba is lower than it is in the United States and is among the lowest in the world.”- from the article above.

          There were a lot of human rights abuses but it’s myopic to think that Cubans were generally worse off under Castro than before.

          1. I’m sure the thousands and thousands of people that were murdered in cold blood, my relatives included, are super thankful for the heath system and low infant mortality rate. I know my dad’s pregnant aunt who starved to death certainly was. I’m sure that is what my parents were thinking about too when they fled on that boat in the dark with their 3 year old.

          2. Castro was a terrible dictator. His Cuba was also good in some ways. His people were better off than those in Haiti, he was not as brutal a dictator as Nicaragua saw, his republic was not primarily a drug manufacturing site like Colombia.

            If Cubans in the diaspora could acknowledge that his power came about because, in part, of abuses in power by the US and by Cuban elite, and acknowledge that there was some good, you’d sound less biased and irrational.

          3. I apologize. You are completely right. I shouldn’t let the deaths of all my relatives who didn’t escape and the memories of fleeing on a boat in the night when I was child cloud my judgement and rational thinking.

          4. It’s pretty widely believed that Cuba manipulates their infant mortality statistics (and all other health statistics). It’s pretty easy to do that in a one-party system with a dictator where every doctor and nurse is employed by the government. All health data is self-reported by the country, there’s really no way for an independent organization to verify it. And even if it doesn’t rise to the level of erasing one number and writing in another number, women don’t get to make their own health decisions in Cuba. Think about it – it’s pretty easy to have low infant mortality if every risky pregnancy is terminated early.

            I would encourage you to do some reading about Cuba – there’s a lot of literature and non-fiction out there from Cuban exiles and journalists who have traveled to the country and very little of it paints a pretty picture of Castro’s regime.

          5. +100 I don’t completely agree with it but Trudeau’s statement was far more nuanced than this commentary. The situation in Cuba is/was a complicated one. Millions of people could tell similar stories about their families lives in Cuba pre Fidel. It doesn’t justify his crimes but his regime did not come into power in a vacuum, it was the direct result of a specific historical and political context. Denying those factors makes you sound like an irrational ideologue, not an advocate for human rights.

          6. No one is denying those factors. Regardless of how Castro got there, he was a dictator who committed massive human rights violations and contributed to untold numbers of debts. OP is right to be upset with the leader of her country because of what he said in his statement, no matter how Castro got to power.

          7. The infant mortality rate is low in Cuba because they do not resuscitate infants <28 weeks' gestation or some with complex congenital heart abnormalities…they simply do not "count" these viable infants. In the developed world (for better or for worse), we go as low as 23 weeks and give every kid a shot, as long as their parents want us to.

          8. Cuba has a great infant mortality rate because they forcibly abort babies who seem unlikely to survive outside the womb. Personally, I’m glad I live in a country with a “bad” infant mortality rate that allows me to give birth to a pre-term infant and have access to doctors who would do everything they could to save my baby, even if it didn’t survive. Cuba’s low infant mortality rate is actually evidence of its human rights abuses, not a mitigating factor, and I’m kind of shocked more people don’t realize this.

        2. Castro was not “good for many ordinary Cubans.” Just because you can get free medical care doesn’t make it a good place to live. Even if you want to set aside what it’s like to live in a county that doesn’t have freedom of speech, religion or the press, Castro really did a number on Cubans’ physical health, especially during the “Special Period” after the Soviet Union collapsed, when the entire country was literally starving. Studies showed adult Cubans lost around 20 percent of their body weight from 1990 to 1995. Don’t tell me that’s healthy, even if you could visit a doctor for free.

          1. It appears things have improved since then “With a life expectancy of 78 years, Cuba is one of the best performers on the American continent and in the Third World, achieving results similar to those of most developed nations. On the average, Cubans live 30 years longer than their Haitian neighbors. In 2025, Cuba will have the highest proportion of its population over the age of 60 in all of Latin America.”

          2. And who will take care of all of those aging Cubans? And will they do it with Soviet-era medicine and technology?

          3. The reason they have the highest proportion of the population over 60 isn’t because they have great healthcare – it’s because an overwhelming majority of young Cubans have fled and the birth rates have dropped precipitously because people didn’t want to bring children into that world. I’d recommend “The Other Side of Paradise: Life in the New Cuba” by Julia Cooke for an unbiased (non-Cuban American journalist’s) take on what life in Cuba is really like.

          4. Anon @9:43 – things have definitely improved in Cuba since then, but it’s not really thanks to Fidel. Raul (who took over officially in 2006, and probably informally some time before then) has a much looser attitude towards many Communist economic principles and allowed for the privatization of many businesses, which improved the economic conditions in Cuba significantly.

        3. Access to healthcare does not equal access to good healthcare. If Cuban healthcare is so wonderful, why was Castro treated in other countries? When you control the statistics and the population, it’s easy to make it appear like your country is doing well.

          2. +1

            In North Korea, the people in the dear leader’s good books get free health care too. Just like in Cuba that doesn’t mean everyone else has it good.

        4. Um, not a ridiculous example– pretty sure the friend is talking about Assata Shakur. She was a Black Panther Party activist and, yes, convicted of murder, but not just some random convict, she is a political asylee. So… maybe read the wikipedia page at least before deciding the example is ridiculous?

          1. If Cuba sheltered a KKK member who was convicted of murder people would feel differently. I’m a WOC and even I know that she belongs in jail. She is a convicted murder, not a martyr fleeing persecution.

          3. Yikes, being a WOC does not validate your false equivalency of the BPP to the KKK. For shame.

          5. +1000. Being an activist is no excuse. She murdered someone. I am also a WOC and her actions appall me. She’s not better than militant white supremacists that kill in the name of their cause.

          8. If someone killed a person you love and then escaped to Cuba (or another country) I bet you wouldn’t be happy about it or about some people celebrating the killer as a hero.

          9. Awesome anon @ 10:33. Maybe Castro isn’t a murderer, either. Just a political question that you don’t get to debate if you are a corpse.

          10. You’re fooling yourself if you think that murder or any other crime is not a politically charged question, especially in the context raised by this discussion. Even lower-level crimes like drug possession and intent to distribute are fraught with complex social, economic, racial, and political implications. Death is finite and indisputable. Murder is a label applied to certain actions resulting in death, but not all. “Murder” is not a universal label for all actions resulting in death, but rather one that is applied by a legal system. And a legal system and its labels are a result of the people and systems that constitute it. In other words, it varies by context because it is a man-made label, not a universal truth. Come on, you know the distinction.

          11. No, anon @ 10:57, you are muddying the waters.

            I can’t think of any label I can give myself that would give me the privilege to murder someone.

          12. UC Berkeley activists are pushing to rename a building after her. Not sure I agree with that (actually, I know I don’t agree with that, but definitely not planning to speak up and get publicly vilified).

        5. The huff post and any of you who accept such “statistics” produced by the Castro regime are horribly naive. Consider briefly how a communist government may want to tweak and outright fabricate statistics for the purposes of propaganda. Consider, maybe, when you look at statistics on “literacy” and “infant mortality” that the Castro regime is selective in who they count as “people.” Consider that doctors may be punished if their infant mortality rates are too high so they lie. Consider that the Castro regime dictates what is considered an “infant.” Good grief.

          1. Cuba is doing much better from a development perspective than almost any other Caribbean country.

            It’s not just about World Bank/World Health Organization/BBC News buying into government propaganda as you allege. There are real and genuine university and research exchanges that occur with many countries in the developed world.

            Castro engaged in many awful human rights abuses but there has also been real substantial progress on development issues. Both of those things are true. Read AIMS’ post below on nuance. Nuance is needed.

          2. Some medical and technological advancements came out of Hilter’s Germany. He engaged in Human Rights abuses but he made progress in this areas.

            Sounds ridiculous right? I’m culturally Jewish and it pained me to type that but you can’t have it both ways.

          3. Does sound ridiculous. Might want to educate yourself before making such comparisons.

            I knew the anti-Castro bias in the USA was strong (and understandable)because of the large anti-Castro Cuban population in Florida, but not to the extent of the comments today.

            This post is making me less surprised that the USA has ended up where it is. Massive echo chamber effect – so far Hitler, Ayatollahs, N. Korea and Castro have all been lumped in the same enemy basket.

          4. While I don’t think that Castro compares to the other leaders you mentioned, he did hurt people and kill people. That’s a fact. I agree that the echo chamber is strong but I think considering her family’s history and her story she is entitled to be upset about the statement through leader of her country made. I also don’t see anywhere that OP herself compared Castro to these other leaders, that was all done by others. Regardless of the political discussion in this thread, my thoughts are with the OP and I am sorry she is upset.

          5. Instead of clutching your peals at the comparisons, why not explain why you think they’re not valid? I assume firing squads, starving your people, and summarily executing or enslaving people if they are suspected to be LGBT (which are all proven facts of things that happened in Castro’s Cuba) aren’t all bad? Or are permissible if the country has “free” healthcare? If we’re going to judge based simply on “millions killed,” then Stalin and Mao make Hitler pale in comparison.

            It’s not anti-Castro bias, it’s anti-tyrant bias…

    3. I’m so sorry, I can only imagine how betrayed you must feel. Jeremy Corbyn is apparently going to his funeral. Apparently political common sense has well and truly gone out the window.

    4. I was surprised by the statement as well. I understand that Trudeau Sr had a friendly relationship with Castro and that Trudeau Jr. saw Cuba through that light and focused too much on Cuba as a region leading country in terms of the quality of education and healthcare available to its citizens but that it has come at the cost of human rights violations.

      Comparison to N.Korea/Stalin is trite, does a disservice to those suffering awfully right now in N. Korea and makes light of the genuine achievements of Cuba under Castro.

      1. The people who were imprisoned, tortured and murdered by him would beg to differ. Just like in North Korea and under Stalin, some people may have it good but those who are deemed not worthy have their human rights stripped and suffer terribly.

      2. Yes — I guess we can agree that some repressive and brutal dictators are much worse than others.

        1. Yeah, I clearly missed the part where N. Korea sends well trained medical staff to developing countries around the world.

          “Indeed, since 1963, Cuba has sent doctors and other health workers throughout the Third World to treat the poor. Currently, nearly 30,000 Cuban medical staff are working in over 60 countries around the world.”

          1. I’m sure my relatives and the thousands of others who starved to death or were murdered by the government are grateful for those doctors.

          2. And all of them are seeking asylum while abroad, most likely. Do genuine achievements under Castro include sending all (and suspected) LGBT people to labor camps or firing squads?

          3. Cuba also sends a lot of baseball players all over the world. Interesting that they largely choose to stay abroad.

          4. I don’t think labeling Fidel as “evil” is productive. He achieved some good things for his country and he also committed horrific human rights violations. Both things can be true. I think the reason you find so many people today who are sympathetic to him is that for so long the US has tried to make him into a worse figure than he actually was. That doesn’t make him a good guy but it makes the situation a little bit more nuanced. Unfortunately, nuance is not very in vogue these days.

          5. OP, you’ve got to stop using sarcastic “I’m sure my murdered relatives are thankful for…” statements. Argue the point, sure, but this construction undermines your credibility. I can’t remember what the argumentation term is called, but reducing the argument to a personal and limited one completely eviscerates your position.

          6. OP is entitled to make her point however she wants and your privilege is showing majorly when you talk about her credibility being undermined for her using her narrative in a way that you disagree with.

          7. I can’t wait for this page when one of the Ayatollas dies. “Yes, but consider that the Shah was bad.” Ugh.

          8. Uh, it’s a principle of argumentation, not a privileged opinion. She obviously can argue however she wants, but this way of doing it undermines her position. That’s just true.

          9. You would be singing a different tune if you and your family were in the same position as OP.

    5. Two Cuban-Canadians I saw over the weekend swore up and down that Castro’s revolution was a great thing for Cuba, so I think this is a scenario where Trudeau would have been upsetting one or other side of the debate not matter what.

      1. And I guess its understandable that he wouldn’t necessarily see Castro in a different light than his father did?

      2. Huh. Maybe it’s a US-Canadian divide or maybe the people you know are in the extreme minority. I know hundreds of Cuban-Americans (I used to live in Miami and seriously dated a Cuban-American) and they are in almost 100% agreement that Castro was evil. The older generation is very against Democrats’ attempts to normalize relations with Cuba and has been a very reliable Republican voting bloc largely for this reason. The younger generation is more in favor of it, but not because they support Castro. Rather, they think normalizing relations with Cuba will help ordinary Cubans more than it will help the government. I cannot think of a single Cuban-American who ever told me anything positive about Castro or the revolution.

      3. Nice that they said it from the safety of Canada.

        Also, I think that the Women in White would disagree that Cuba was good for Cubans. Too many Cubans suffered for any good that ever resulted — that cost is too high.

        1. The OP is also expressing her opinion from Canada? My point was simply that within Canada there are Cuban-Canadians that are for Castro and Cuban-Canadians that are against Castro, so it would have been difficult for Trudeau to strike exactly the right balance in his statement that would please all Cuban-Canadians.

      4. Lawsuited, I completely agree with you. Honestly, OP, you of course have a right to your feelings and to speak them wherever and whenever you want. But I think you have to acknowledge that your personal history is colouring your feelings about what the PM said. In the same way that his personal feelings coloured his statement as well. While I think his statement was a bit rose-coloured, I do not actually think a lot of it was untrue. Like it or not, Castro was a legendary orator and viewed as a hero by many for a time.

        I realize it is easy for me to see a more nuanced side from where I sit in Canadian comfort, but I think that Castro was the living embodiment of the maxim that absolute power corrupts absolutely. As a Canadian, I have had the opportunity to visit Cuba multiple times over a period of 20 or so years and have heard the gamut of opinions on life there, both from young people who grew up quietly hating him and the repressive regime and more positive stories from people old enough to remember life in the “old” regime. I will never forget a doctor that I met who told us that his family was so poor before the revolution that no one had every worn real shoes. He and his four siblings all went to University and on to professions and he said he gave praise every day to the Virgin Mary and to Castro. Anecdata to be sure, but I think this is a unique historical incident and it is very difficult for either side of the divide to really see the other.

        Last thing in this novel, I know Rubio has his own position based on his history, but I simply cannot take seriously a fecking Republican using “Castro hated gays” as a justification. Nope.

        1. Certainly then you would feel the exact same way about the current president elect of the United States if/when he made life better for a white man in the rust belt, while taking away a woman’s right to choose and persecution those who are “the wrong people.” Because the president elect did good for some right?

          1. Not the op, but I’m a lifelong democrat who would feel significantly better about a trump presidency if he actually makes life better for working class whites.l. At least I could then justify how they could vote for such a man

          3. Anon at 10:58 – you are entirely missing the point. Comments like that just reinforce the divide we have in America, which is not helpful to anyone

    6. I was shocked by Trudeau’s statement (I’m American). Republicans in the US were jumping all over Pres. Obama, but I thought his statement was fine, if a little self-congratulatory with the inclusion of what he’d done to improve US-Cuba relations. But Trudeau’s statement was insane. A “remarkable leader”? A “legendary revolutionary and orator?” “Cuba’s longest serving President”? No. Just no. You can recognize that he has loved ones that are grieving and express your condolences to them (as Obama did) without praising the man or his politics. Btw, #TrudeauEulogies on twitter is pretty funny.

      1. I actually thought the adjectives were carefully neutral – recognizing his significant impact without saying that it was a good impact. I don’t think “remarkable” signals approval of Castro’s politics, but that’s just my take.

        1. As a Jewish person, I would be extremely offended if someone referred to Hitler as a “remarkable leader” and “legendary orator” with no mention of the atrocities he committed, even though those characterizations of his leadership and speaking skills might be true. I’m not sure why a different standard should apply to Cubans/Castro. “Remarkable” is certainly not the most positive adjective you can use, but the overall statement praised his accomplishments and leadership skills while completely omitting any mention of the atrocities he committed. To describe a man like Hitler or Castro that way is at best extremely short-sighted and insensitive.

          1. Hitler and Castro are not in the same ballpark. I can’t believe I have to write that.

          2. After the election there were multiple posts here comparing Trump to Hitler and most people seemed to be in agreement.

            Yet when man who also killed, tortured and starved his people (after stealing their land, possessions and money in some cases) because of their religion, sexuality or because they were not the right kind of people, he is not as bad as Hitler.

            Castro did the same things as Hitler, albeit on a much smaller and less reported scale.

          3. I have both Jewish and Cuban ancestry. At various times my family members have fled Germany and Cuba to escape a dictator who wanted to kill them. They are actually in the same ballpark.

          4. People on this s*te and elsewhere have compared Donald Trump to Hitler, when he hasn’t even done anything yet or taken power.

            But Castro, who has actually killed people for their sexual orientation, religion and other beliefs, is not in the same ballpark. I can’t even…

          5. I don’t think Hitler and Castro were equally evil and I think it’s undisputed that Hitler committed many, many more murders than Castro. But as a Jewish person, Hitler is my frame of reference for a “dictator who wanted to kill my family” and I know that Cubans feel the same way about Castro. I know I’d be horrified if someone spoke this way about Hitler, so it make sense to me that Cuban exiles are outraged at Trudeau’s statement.
            Fwiw, Castro is certainly much closer to Hitler than Trump is, and many people seem to be accepting the Trump-Hitler comparison.

    7. If someone said that Trump was good for some people even though he trampled on the rights of others, everyone here would be all over them for making such a statement.

      In case anyone wasn’t aware, anyone suspected of being gay in Cuba gets thrown in jail and killed, women don’t have control over their own healthcare choices and rape by government officials and police happens often and is not punished.

      1. Not the op, but I’m a lifelong democrat who would feel significantly better about a trump presidency if he actually makes life better for working class whites.l. At least I could then justify how they could vote for such a man.

        To pretend that any leader is completely good or bad (with very few exceptions) is to simpify the discussion in an unhelpful way

    9. My concerns have to do more with the government officials, such as Trump, who celebrated his dealth. No matter how bad the dictator (and anyone who thinks Castro was the worse needs to study their world history), I don’t recall any other time when a dealt by another governments leader was celebrated

    10. I can’t believe what I am reading here from some people.

      Remember less than a month ago when Donald Trump became the president-elect? Everyone here posted about how heartbroken they were. That Trump would benefit some (white men) at the expense of others was lamented here. Fidel Castro did the exact same thing to the Cuban people that Donald Trump has talked about here. A few benefited at the expense of the rest.

      Replace Castro with Trump and posters here would be horrified at him being called not all bad.

        1. I know all about who he overthrew. But he was still a corrupt dictator who killed and imprisoned any person suspected of being gay and starved and murdered his own people while he lived like a king. Just because he overthrew another dictator doesn’t mean he wasn’t horrible.

      4. Some people posted that they were heartbroken Mr. Trump won — not everyone. I was heartbroken that we had to choose Bert two awful, horrible, terrible candidates

    11. I, like you, currently live in Canada and my family was previously persecuted in our home county (not cuba). My aunt loves to do the “my dead relatives” schtick too. It makes it impossible to have an intelligent discussion with her because she likes to play the victim. The regime in my home country was awful but my relatives had degrees and health care and rent stabilization which means they could save up money and be excellent candidates to immigrate to Canada. I can see the pros and cons of the poverty my family faced.

  4. Just booked a trip to Iceland in April! Any travel tips? What are the can’t miss sights? Also- as I am a Floridian, and have little experience dealing with snow, need a good recommendation for boots. TIA

    1. I was there in March a few years ago. We didn’t get any accumulation of snow so I don’t know that snow boots are needed, but with the wind and dry air it was about the coldest I’ve ever been, so be prepared for that (in particular outside the city). Do the Blue Lagoon, the tour that goes by Gullfoss, the continental divide, and the countryside! If you’re OK with lamb, try the hot dogs (really) – they are very good. Enjoy! I’m hoping to go back soon.

    2. I’ve got North Face down-filled boots; the soles harden in cold to give better grip, too. Love them.

    3. What kind of trip are you interested in? Are you outdoorsy or more city-focused? That will change the trip a lot.

      1. looking for a good mix of outdoorsy and city. I’m interested in pretty much all the adventurous activities. What are the can’t miss things to see/do, and what can I pass on?

        1. We did the ring road in August in 8 days. I probably wouldn’t suggest the ring road in April. How long are you there for?

          If you’re more city-focused than we were, I’d suggest doing day trips from Reykjavik, maybe one or two overnight out of the city. The standards are all famous for a reason – Gulfoss, Geysir, Kerið, etc, and they’re absolutely gorgeous, even with the crowds. But if you want a little bit off the beaten path, Gamla Laugin was lovely, really local, and near there is Friðheimar Tomato Farm, which is a quirky and delicious lunch place. The tomato ice cream is delightful. I hear Laugarvatn Fontana is also great, but we didn’t have time to go there. Skógafoss is stunning, the Skogar museum is adorable, if a little disorganized, but the turf houses are worth it, and a couple hundred meters from the Skogar museum is the hidden Kvernufoss, which almost no one goes to, probably even less in April. Hjörleifshöfði was a medium-difficulty hike, depending on how quickly you try to complete it, and there’s a viking cairn at the top of it. Hiking on a glacier was fantastic – if you’re outdoorsy, I highly recommend it, and I believe in April there are more adventurous tours involving ice caves. We went with Arctic Adventures, but tons of companies do it. Further out, the iceberg lagoons are beautiful, although nearly on the other side of the island. Jökulsárlón is the big famous one, but Fjallsárlón is lower, and lets you get up close and personal with the ice. If you do an overnight in Höfn, Pakkhús has some of the best food on the island.

          In Reykjavik, Culture House is a world-class museum. I could’ve spent all day there. The hot dogs are weird but good. If you’re adventurous, the tasting course dinner at Grillmarkadurinn was amazing. Kex Hostel’s happy hour is pretty fun. We didn’t get to do as much in the city as I would have liked.

          Blogs were my primary source of info: Young Adventurous, Life with a View, and I Heart Reykjavik were good resources. BUT definitely read about the history of Iceland before you go. It’s extremely illuminating.

    4. I went to Iceland last September. I got a pair of Ahnu hiking boots. They are very lightweight, warm, and waterproof. I don’t know what kind of weather you’ll get in April, but in September we had lots of wind and rain, so we had rain pants and rain coats, too.

      Really, the hot dogs are a must, from the little huts. Bill Clinton once waited in line for some during a Presidential trip. We took a walking food tour of Reykjavik, and it was one of our favorite things. http://www.mountainguides.is/day-tours/day-tours-from-reykjavik/reykjavik-by-food/

  5. Hoping to take advantage of the sales and purchase a warm shoe or boot that I can slip on and off easily (necessary for daycare drop off/pick-up. I plan on doing a lot of walking in these shoes, and I think that snow boots or a similar style will be much too heavy. Any recommendations?

    1. At our daycare, we can put hospital surgical booties over our shoes. Might this be a better option?

      1. We have that option, too, but I always bring baby in an ergo. Takes way too much coordination to put on the booties while standing (there are no chairs nearby)

    3. I use a pair of Dansko clogs with thick wool socks for this purpose. Good for your back/walking, but the thicker sole keeps me out of the wet sidewalk and makes sure that my pants don’t drag on the ground.

    4. Merrill mocs. Easy to slip on and off, great tread and waterproof. Not attractive but they blend in if you get them in dark grey or black.

      1. I love the mocs for snow/rain, but they are brutal on true ice, I’ve nearly gone down multiple times wearing them out in our driveway.

    6. I have a pair of Dansko boots similar to the Priscilla booties available now (mine are taller). They slip on and off easily (I just step in and out of them), are very comfortable, have good grip, and I can tuck my pant legs into them to keep them from getting wet or snowy.

  6. Kitchenaid question. I would like to get one of their stand mixers today since there are some good deals to be had. But now that I’m ready to finally get one, which one do I get???? Anyone familiar with the differences? I don’t think I need any of the souped up “professional” models. I am never going to make 4 loaves of bread or 12 trays of cookies. I’m debating getting the “artisan mini” because NYC kitchens are small but wondering if it’s cute but not that useful. At the moment I don’t really bake *that* much but I worry I may want a bigger capacity bowl in the future. Thoughts?

    2. I think the artisan mini would be too small for even occasional family baking and you wouldn’t end up using it much. I have the regular artisan and it can get awkward if I want to double a cookie recipe.

        1. I’ve had a regular size artisan for 10+ years and it is still going strong. The bigger bowl is useful when you are mixing something that needs space to expand like egg whites or whipped cream.

          1. Thanks. Maybe I should just get the artisan then. The 6 qt professional one is being sold for $219 (I think) on amazon so its tempting but I can’t really imagine I need something that size. I want the mini for the smaller size but I can see that maybe it would be a little too small sometimes. So 5 qt artisan seems like the Goldilocks solution….

        2. AIMS, I actually would get the professional if you’ve seen it for a good price. The motor on my artisan sometimes sounds like it’s straining, and I’ve used my friend’s professional and been so happy with its performance but can’t justify upgrading given that I already have a Kitchenaid mixer. I keep my mixer on top of the fridge, and any of the sizes would fit up there, but I live in a tiny Toronto kitchen not a tiny NYC kitchen so you may have even more significant space constraints.

          1. I love my professional if you can get it for a decent price. It actually does make a big difference – even for things like mixing in the chocolate chips to a tougher cookie mix – compared to my mother’s artisan.

          2. I have the professional as well. One thing to note is that it is a bowl-life vs the more traditional top lift. I prefer the top lift but wanted the heft of the pro version.

    3. I have a big KitchenAid but am getting a mini because mine is too big to fit beneath the upper cabinets. The mini’s capacity is plenty for most tasks. For a NYC kitchen, it’s perfect!

    4. Make sure you double-check that the model you’re looking at has metal gears rather than plastic. I’ve got the 4.5 quart Artisan model that was a gift, and it can’t knead bread for more than about 5 minutes before the motor heats up & I have to shut it off to cool down.

        1. Nope, in 2007 they went back to all metal gears in all the machines. So if you are buying new, nothing to worry about.

    5. I just ordered the 5qt bowl lift model – three years of using my sister’s head tilt model for the holidays convinced me that I didn’t want that model. The heads don’t really lock in place well enough to handle anything much thicker than basic cookie dough without moving all over. So, very very dependent on what you plan to use it for.

      1. I think we have the same model, and I LOVE mine. I’ve had it for around 6-7 years and it is still going strong. I use it for bread, doubled cookie dough recipes, cakes, spinach dip– anything that needs to be mixed, it goes in there. Love it.

        If you have a tiny kitchen, only do light baking, and expect to never have to double a cookie recipe, the “minis” are cute. But I’d go look at it in person because the footprint is not THAT much smaller than the standard size, and it’s not really cheaper. I would recommend the larger size bowl-lift model if you have the space.

    6. I agree that the mini is probably too small. I think we have the 5qt and it’s just the right size for things like dough and mashed potatoes.

      Speaking of kitchen appliances, I just got an Instant Pot and think it will be life changing.

    7. Do you want one that takes attachments (grater, meat grinder, grain mill, etc.)? You should check whether they’re compatible with the Mini.

    8. Check sales today at Costco, Kohl’s and Amazon.

      I also use mine very rarely, but the larger is better. If you can’t use it to make standard (and double batch!) cookies or your favorite celebration item, then….. Why bother?

    9. Don’t get the kind where the head tilts. This is a weakness in the design. Get models where the bowl lifts up and down.

      The silicone scraping mixer attachment is priceless, make sure you get the right size.

  7. Any thoughts on MM LaFleur’s Abingdon coat? I really want it/ something that looks like it and is really warm. Any reviews or suggestions?

  8. Best chocolate chip cookie recipe? Or another cookie using chocolate chips. My normal recipe (my nana’s) calls for oats but I’m all out and am waiting on a delivery so can’t venture to the shops. Need a break from grading student papers.

    2. The one on the back of the chocolate chip bag is great. I suspect it will be where you are.

      3. Or this, but replace the white sugar with brown sugar for a crisper cookie. But you have to make sure that your butter is only soft, not melted, or the cookie still turns out chewy.

    4. Piggybacking off this because I’m going to a christmas party where I have to bring 3 dozen homemade cookies–any awesome recipe ideas?

      2. My nana’s recipe:

        I tend to use whole wheat flour and a mix of brown and turbinado rather than white sugar. This makes a stupid amount of cookies – I’ll sometimes make the whole batch and keep half in the freezer for easy baking (or eating, I really love frozen cookie dough. I also add some cinnamon.

        Nana’s Chocolate Chip Cookies (makes over 100 cookies). so cut everything in ½ if you don’t want to bake all day

        Cream:
        2 C butter/margarine
        2 C sugar
        2 C brown sugar
        4 eggs
        2 tsp vanilla

        Sift together:
        4 C flour
        5 C oatmeal
        1 tsp salt
        2 tsp baking powder
        2 tsp baking soda

        Add:
        24 oz choc chips (2 packs)
        2 C walnuts or your favorite nuts

        Mix creamed ingredients with the sifted mix…then add nuts and chocolate. I do with my hands in a big bowl.
        If you are using a food processor, cream ½ at a time.. otherwise use a stand mixer.

        Refrigerate dough for at least 2 hours

        Bake at 375 for 10-12 min.

      3. I like the Momofuk milk bar chocolate chip cookies with the cornflake crunch in them.

    5. I love the cappuccino chip cookie recipe from Joy the Baker (can find on her website). She uses white chocolate chips, but use whatever you have (they are so good my SO who does not like white chocolate will even eat them with white chocolate, though, but for his sake I usually use dark or milk chips).

    6. I’m famous in my circle for my chocolate chip cookies. Kind of a Big Deal. But there’s nothing that special about the recipe, you just have to be very careful not to overbake so they stay soft. I use the recipe on the back of the Toll House chocolate chips bag, but I substitute butter-flavored Crisco instead of butter (yes, my cookies will kill you slowly), no nuts, and slightly less chocolate chips than the recipe calls for. I start checking them after 9 minutes in the oven, and pull them out as soon as they get golden.

      1. Marshmallow, what effect does using the butter-flavored Crisco instead of butter have?

        1. In general, Crisco is more stable than butter comma so cookies made with butter or more likely to be misshapen or spread too flat.

        2. Shortening makes a soft cookie as opposed to crisp. Some love, some don’t, some meh. It’s a texture thing/ preference.

          1. Thanks for clarifying. Sounds like it’s time for some taste testing in my house.

          2. If you like your cookies soft, just store them in tupperware with a small slice of apple. The cookies will stay chewy.

  9. I am so, so excited. I will let you know how it is when it gets here.

    1. I’ve had my eye on it! I have the Catalina deluxe small and the Pearl and am obsessed with both. I told DH about the sale but it might be a little out of the budget this Christmas. Sigh.

  10. For those of you who live or have lived in DC, what’s on your DC bucket list? Or, for a slight variation on that question, if you only had one day left in DC before moving away, what would you do? I have more than one day left, thankfully, but looking for some new ideas (preferably ones that are good to do solo) for when I have some free time on my hands.

    1. Arboretum. Dumbarton Oaks. Top of the Washington Monument. If you have time/connections, a White House or a West Wing tour.

        1. That’s a bummer! I went right after it reopened again two-ish years ago and it was so cool.

    2. Comment went into moderation for some reason, trying again:

      – Watch the sun rise from the Lincoln Memorial
      – See the pandas at the National Zoo.
      – Try to get a pass to see the African American History Museum (timed entries are sold out online but if you’re lucky enough to live here you can try getting one in person in the morning)
      – Go to a bunch of shows at Kennedy Center’s Millennium Stage (get there early to watch the sunset from the roof)
      – See a famous author or politician give a talk at Sixth and I Synagogue
      – Assuming you are moving elsewhere in the US, go to a constituent breakfast with your soon-to-be representative
      – Brave the line to eat at Rose’s Luxury, Bad Saint or Little Serrow
      – Visit the Christmas-themed Miracle on 7th Street Bar

      1. Absolute yes to Rose’s Luxury– I finally got around to doing this a couple of weeks ago. The wait was not as bad as I expected. I got there at 3:55 and was third in line. I brought a book, read it for an hour, put my name down for second seating, and went down the street to meet friends for a drink. They called me when the table was ready. I recommend trying that approach on a Monday or Tuesday, as the line does still get long but not before 4:00. Try all the things– it’s all delicious!

    3. Touristy and museum things:
      I really want to see the African-American History Museum, but they’re booked up (free but ticketed) for a while, so I’m going to wait til the crowds have died down some more. You might want to be more aggressive if you’re leaving soon, but keep in mind there will probably be lots of out-of-town groups for Black History Month. If you’re into art, there’s always the Smithsonian but I also like the National Museum of Women in the Arts (private, $12). The Holocaust Museum is good if you haven’t seen it.

      Food: I found out recently that the DC area is home to the world’s largest Ethiopian diaspora community, so hit up some Ethiopian food before you go.

      Shows: The Folger Shakespeare Theatre is great if you have time (and money–I usually only go when someone takes me for Christmas so I’m not totally sure how expensive it is). I know people hate Shear Madness but I thought it was hilarious (caveat: I was in high school).

      2. I’ve heard same day tickets to NMAAHC are actually pretty easy to get if you go in the morning when they start handing them out.

        1. Late to the thread, but the time I tried that (a weekday in October), you had to be in line by 6am to get a same-day pass.

    5. Thanks everyone! I’m copying all these suggestions into a file and will definitely refer back! :) (Happy to take more if people are still reading.)

      1. I really enjoyed the Library of Congress. That may sound not interesting, but it truly is.

        totally touristy, but fun – a sunset bus tour.

  11. I just have to share my excitement over scoring a pair of $500 Aquatalia boots at Rack for almost 50% off. I don’t think I’ve ever owned a pair of boots that are this comfortable and well made.

    1. Awesome!

      Similarly, I stalked the after Xmas sales a couple years ago, and that’s how I got my pair of Aquatalias. They will last forever. Treat them well!

    3. I <3 my Aquatalia! I found a pair of booties a couple years ago at the Rack myself and loved it so much, I stalked end of the season sales on the Aquatalia site and managed to snag a 2nd pair of booties in a different color. Definitely well worth it and my older pairs look great after 2 yrs of daily wear!

  12. For those GG watchers…

    1. Who else saw Lorelei bringing back her trademark shrug sweater and though of this s!te?

    2. I’m lusting for Paris’ pink jacket in the Chilton scene… anyone have any idea where to find?

    1. #2 me too!!!! Favorite clothing item in the revival. That whole outfit was killer.

    2. Among my favorites scene in the revival was Paris in her fantastic outfit kicking the bathroom door closed and Michel interviewing candidates, “You’re name is Molly?…Why?” LOL

      1. Michel was the best part of the revival, IMO. Every line he had was great.

        1. He annoyed me a lot in the original series but I really liked him in the revival.

    4. Also lusting after Paris’s jacket. Kat featured one on here the same color months ago from Club Monaco that I wanted.

    5. Lusting after Rory’s booties she wears in winter and fall! I’ve been looking for a pair just like them.

    6. I loved the clothes too, but can we talk about the content of the show?? I loved Emily’s storyline, liked Lorelai’s for the most part but Rory…UGH. I know she had her entitled moments on the original show, but this was a whole new level of brattiness! And I was so #TeamLogan before the revival (mostly because of how he grew up in Season 7, which was Palladino-less) but the revival took him right back to his peak level of obnoxiousness in seasons 5 & 6.

      1. I agree — Rory is a cheater and a homewrecker. We knew this about her, given the Dean thing, but what shocked me was there was no critique, subtle or otherwise of her treatment of her boyfriend and disregard of Odette. Unless I missed it?

  13. Any recommendations for what to do/see in Nairobi? Staying three days near the central business district.

    1. Not sure if this is too late…a few must sees
      – Karen Blixen’s house
      -Rothchilde giraffe perserve (you can feed them by hand!
      -National Museum
      -There is a craft fare with nice local goods on the weekends. Its been years since I visited Nairobi so I cannot recall the name/location, but any local will know about it.

      1. Also get a meal at the Karen Blixen house. Tamarind. Really good restaurant on site. Take a tour of downtown to see the government buildings and the supreme court. There’s a hilltop view of the city too.

  14. Suggestions for books/websites on uncluttering your life/time that have actually been helpful to you? I feel like I’m always doing 5 different things at once and it’s really negatively affecting my productivity. There’s so much information out there, some of which is obviously junk – I’d love recommendations for resources to pick up some tips.

    3. There was a link to a site that suggested 200 things in your home you can throw away (donate/recycle, etc.) and it helped me tremendously. The fact that I even had some of them was a huge wake up call.

      I also like unf*ck your habitat for the evening list to unf*ck your morning routine.

      Then of course Marie Kondo’s book. I read about half but was mostly folding and putting things away like she suggested (so you can see everything).

      Finally, my motivator was cleaning out my grandparents house after my grandfather died. I mean he was sick pretty quick so he didn’t have a chance to get rid of a lot of stuff. My other grandparents went from house to smaller condo and she was sick for years and gave away most of her stuff. I would be embarrassed by some of the stupid things I’ve kept so I try to go through stuff once a year (usually around January when everything calms down and it’s yucky outside) and organize and purge. I’ll be honest though I still have several bins of keepsakes and photos that need attacked. But it’s still 1/4 of what I started with!

    4. Marie Kondo’s advice on clothes was pretty good. Folding shirts and pants so they stand upright and going through ALL my clothes in one fell swoop helped me get rid of a lot. Her advice to honestly go through your papers and get rid of most of them (some scanned, taxes obviously kept for 5-7 years) was a good wakeup.

      I also changed my thought patterns on cleaning – FlyLady’s bathroom and morning routines are great, although her preachy, angel of the household, SAHM attitude was grating.

      And then, getting a once a month house cleaner and not letting yourself throw things in closets is HUGELY motivating to get rid of stuff/clear clutter.

      1. Fun story: I’ve tried to track my time for a week twice now. Both times I ended up in the hospital. Probably just a coincidence but I don’t realllllly want to test it again.

    7. Unf*ck Your Habitat

      It’s a popular website with a book coming out in January. I like their concept of a “20/10.”

    8. “Touch it Once” – It’s a FlyLady pledge that every time you pick something up, you put it back where it belongs. If I’m picking up dirty clothes in the kids room, I’m not going to set them down on the bed while I get distracted with the toy bin. I have to take the clothes directly to the laundry shoot first. It stops me from flitting from one chore to another, and it cuts down on wasted time. At the end of 20 minutes, I’ll have multiple chores completed instead of a room dotted with lots of “goes somewhere else” piles.

      Something that’s inspiring me now is to move to donate clothes *while they are still in style*. Everyone jokes about the decades old fashion that ends up in Thrift Shops, but anyone who has ever had to shop there has felt thrilled and grateful to find something that’s actually in style. I don’t want to leave a pile of my kids outgrown kids clothes in the back of my closet for the next two years–I want to get them out there so another kid can enjoy them. I’m reframing my “clutter” and thinking it of donations that are really going to help someone–because they are!

    9. Can’t say enough good things about Getting Things Done by David Allen. I listened to the audiobook and saw results from day 1 or 2.

  15. I will be going to Netherlands in March for a week for work and would like to extend my trip by a few days in advance – where should I go? I’m thinking adding either Brussels & Bruges or maybe somewhere in Germany (Cologne? Dusseldorf?) might be a good option. I will likely be traveling alone, I have very rusty French but otherwise only speak English, and have been nowhere around this area before so would love to see anything. I’m very excited for this trip – thanks in advance for any advice!

    1. I traveled around Cologne/Dusseldorf by myself when I was 19 at the end of a study abroad trip, and it was really nice. There is more to see/do in Cologne than in Dusseldorf, especially the Cathedral there. Cologne + somewhere else in Germany might be worth it. I liked seeing Dusseldorf just because I hadn’t really been in Germany before and it was worth seeing how 1 ordinary city is – I liked hanging out there, but not necessarily lots of stuff to see.

    2. Visited Cologne in 2008 alone and had a fantastic time! I strongly recommend a side trip to Heidelberg to see the castle there and to Baden Baden to soak up the atmosphere (and visit a hot spring if that’s your thing). FYI, Mark Twain wrote about his trip to the region in “A Tramp Abroad”. I brought the book along and read a few pages every night; it was like sharing notes with a traveling companion!

    3. I’ve lived in Cologne and Leipzig and they’re both great! It’s really interesting to see the legacy of communism in the East, like the Plattenbau (ugly) buildings next to the older buildings and churches that are getting restored. The Cologne cathedral is wonderful.

      You should be able to buy tickets and order food in English if you’re in any major city in Germany.

    4. Bruges is a very easy train trip from the Netherlands and charming though slightly touristy. I don’t think you’d need more than a day or two there. You can easily get by with just English in Bruges (and also in the Netherlands).

      Depending on when in March you will be visiting, regardless of which other countries you decide to visit, definitely consider saving a day to visit the Keukenhof, near Leiden in the Netherlands. It’s an amazing tulip garden that is open for just a few weeks each year (the rest of the year is spent planting and preparing the garden). It tends to open in late March.

  16. I started tucking my shirt into my tights today and I am never going back. I consider this sufficient reason to wear pantyhose in the summer. And yes, I live in the DC area.

      1. +1 I’ve done this for years – I’ve told other women about it and they’ve thanked me.

  17. I just need to whine. After a lovely 5 day weekend for Thanksgiving, I knew today would be extremely busy. I was emotionally prepared.

    And then… the stomach flu hit my house. The apocalyptic one (I’ll spare you the details). I physically cannot leave my house and ended up having to call out of work sick. As someone who calls out sick roughly once every two or three years and frequently rolls her eyes at one particular coworker who is only ever sick on a Monday or a Friday (golf is a recurring condition).

    Now I’m working from home on my mountain of work but will still have to burn a sick day. BOOOOO. (Yes, I realize how lucky I am to have overall good health, paid sick time off, and an employer who doesn’t fire me for taking the day off.)

    1. The post-Thanksgiving stomach flu hit my house as well! My son’s daycare teacher told me it’s a thing – a lot of people get stomach flu over Thanksgiving weekend. Weird. Anyway, I spent all day yesterday completely incapacitated and miserable. Solidarity.

      1. Is it really food poisoning? All those leftovers. . . all the food left out that day.

        1. It could be food poisoning, but it makes sense that the flu/colds would make its rounds during Thanksgiving with so many people traveling and bringing their germs from one part of the country to another. Its the same thing that happens when kids start a new school. They have had all of the colds that made the round at the new one, but none of the ones that went around the new school.

        2. I was thinking of that (even though we were SUPER careful and had fairly low-risk foods), but of humans who ate leftovers, only some of us are down for the count.

          As soon as I can stand upright, I’m chucking everything in my fridge just to be on the safe side though!

    2. Uuuuuuggggghhhh. So much sympathy. Stomach flu’s can make you feel like death like almost nothing else can.

      1. Thank you. I slept on a towel on the bathroom floor last night and was really struggling to not give my boss graphic details when calling out.

    3. So sorry!

      I hear you about eye-rolling colleagues who call in sick on Monday or Friday. The sickest I ever was, was when I got the apocalyptic stomach flu on a Tuesday after early morning I had spent Monday snarking about a colleague who called in sick.

    4. Pedialite does wonders (for young and old). Hope you feel better soon!

  18. I feel like you ladies will appreciate this: I got a like-new Classiques Entier 100% merino sweater at a resale shop for FIFTY CENTS. And it looks awesome on me.

    Best resale find ever.

    1. Congrats! Love resale shop finds! At times, eBay fills that void for me …

  19. PSA – M Gemi has a sale today, $50 off. I was waiting to order from them in the hopes that they’d do this, perhaps some of y’all were as well…

  20. Whoever recommended the Instastyler a while back, you are my favorite person. I’m terrible at doing my own hair and it just kind of hangs there, so whenever I have an event, I usually go to a blowout bar to get it done.

    I had a party Saturday and did my hair myself, and it looked great and I got so many compliments!

    1. I did a couple of weeks ago – was that when you asked? Glad I am not the only one who thinks it is kind of awesome.

      1. I bought one too! I love it, and I’m contemplating giving a couple as Christmas gifts.

  21. Thanks for the great ‘what to do in Boston’ suggestions. We ended up staying in Cambridge, and did Plimouth Plantation, a Duck Tour, the Science Museum, and walked some of the Freedom Trail. The highlight for the kids…watching street performers and riding the T.

  22. Can anyone provide feedback on their experience with IUDs, specifically Mirena. I had a consult with my OB gyn to discuss getting a Mirena before the ACA is potentially repealed and was leaning toward getting one next month. I was on oral BC for 15 years with no major side effects before I got pregnant and had a baby and am looking for something for the next year while we decide if we want to have another kid. I have since been hearing a disturbing number of personal stories of people who had really bad reactions with IUDs (everything from horrible depression to issues requiring ER visits), which I never really heard from people on oral contraceptives, and am now having second thoughts.

    2. Loved my Mirena, as have a good dozen of my friends who’ve had them. Have seen some stories online of people not liking them, but mostly good reports and my doctor pals all say they’re still their preferred recommendation.

      Caveat: If you think you might like to get pregnant in a year, you might want to stick to a non-intrauterine device, since it might not be worth the adjustment period to just want to take it out again and normalize your cycle again?

    3. There have been a TON of threads from people here about their IUD experiences (including in the last week).

    4. I’m on my second one, never had any side effects, no periods, and I really really love it. I’m in my 20s and probably 90% of my female friends use IUDs as their birth control at this point (split between the copper and the mirena). It’s obviously anecdotal but almost everyone I know had some sort of unpleasant side effect from the pill and nothing with an IUD. Make sure your gyno has you come back in a month – 6 weeks post insertion to ultrasound you and double check that the IUD is in place, and that she shows you how to check your own strings – also to make sure it is where its supposed to be. That way you’ll always be able to tell yourself that everything is fine with it. And for your partners sake ask them to trim the strings as far back as they can go!

      1. But remember that if they trim the strings too far, they’ll curl into your cervix and then you won’t be able to feel them. My doc said in that case, be on the lookout for any usual bleeding and/or cramping.

    5. I’m a huge fan of my Mirena. I have about a year left on it and will totally get it again. Yeah, the insertion isn’t fun. Take some Advil beforehand or talk with your OBGYN about their suggestion. It’s a delight and I have light periods (where I used to have very heavy periods). I didn’t have any negative side effects, but everyone’s different. I was vigilant for the first couple months to check its placement, but I didn’t have any issues.

    6. I had both a copper IUD and a Mirena. Had very very bad reactions to hormones in oral BC, so switched to the copper IUD pre-kids. Loved it, super easy insertion, no issues.
      Got the Mirena post-kid and my OBGYN thought the smaller dose of localized hormones would be ok for me. Not so much – I had horrible anxiety attacks/depression that resolved about 2 months after removal. If you can handle the hormones though I’d suggest it – I had virtually non-existent periods while on it.

      1. +1

        I’ve had both. Mirena was taken out after a year due to depression/anxiety/horrific acne. I currently have Paragard. The period is long and heavy but have zero side effects otherwise.

    7. I’ve had two mirenas with no side effects. I had my cycle right on schedule the entire time (about four years all together) and got pregnant in my first cycle after removal twice (!!!). I highly recommend. Insertion pre-kids was rough, but post-baby was no worse than a pap.

    8. I think I’m more depressed with an IUD than I have been without one and my sex drive is lower. But it’s waaay more convenient, it didn’t really hurt that much when I got it inserted, and my periods have been fine (I wish they’d gone away completely, but oh well). It’s not bad enough that I want to get it removed, but I think I’d stick with the pill if I was going to go back in time and make this decision again.

    9. I got Mirena after kiddo #2. I had heard great things about it but I hated it. Caused serious discomfort for both my husband and myself during LGP. Also, the spotting when I had it implanted was annoying. I had it removed and have been much happier on BCP.

    10. I had a copper IUD after each of my 3 boys were born. Loved it. 100% effective. No side effects. 3rd one fell out on its own after 2 years so dh got the big V. Worked awesome for me, especially as someone who couldn’t take hormonal by (blood clot risks).

    11. thought the Mirena was busting through my uterus, turns out it was just bad cramps. that wouldn’t go away. for 6 months. I probably should have taken it as a sign that it wasn’t meant to be when my gyn couldn’t insert it (had it inserted after laparoscopy for endo while I was under). But, I hear some people love it – I just wasn’t one of them.

    12. I love mine! So much that I’m getting another one in a week (can’t believe it’s been five years since the first). I would say that if you’re considering not having it in for that long, you may want to try the Skyla. Apparently it’s meant more for teenage girls as it is smaller and only lasts three years. Not sure if this correlates to fewer side effects but may be worth asking your doc.

  23. I’m supposed to meet a former colleague and his current colleague for drinks tomorrow night about a potential opening they may have and want me to apply for. It’s essentially a pre-interview with the one in the group I don’t know to see if they want to interview me and if I would want to apply if the position becomes available in January. Its a quite senior level position if it matters. I came down with an awful cold last night and don’t know at this point if I’ll be feeling better or worse by tomorrow night. Should I proactively cancel so I can meet them when I’m at my best, don’t get them sick or make myself more sick by going out for a drink instead of to bed? Or stop whining and go because it would be poor form to cancel so late in the game (unless I actually take a turn for the worse tomorrow and have full blown flu)? If it matters, this has been planned for about a month. Thanks in advance!

    1. I’d probably go if you can take some meds so as not to be stuffy all over them.

    2. Go. You don’t have the flu.

      Do not cancel now. After a 4 day weekend. Poor form.

      Clean your hands with sanitizer before walking into the bar/restaurant, and reuse after every time you blow nose etc.. Wave off shaking hands “Forgive me, but I’ve got a bug I don’t want you to catch….”

      Don’t drink alcohol. Seltzer with lime etc…

      Stay less time. Make a good impression, then bow out.

      You’re nervous, but don’t back out now!!!!

    4. I’m surprised that everyone here says go. I think it depends how sick you are. If you can’t sit there for 15 minutes without blowing your nose or coughing that’s just gross. If you can take some cold meds to stop the congestion, etc. then I would go but otherwise reschedule. It would turn me off if someone showed up to have a drink and was spewing snot everywhere. Some people dislike germs and hate being around sick people….I am one of those people. People understand that you’re sick, everyone gets sick…

      1. If I went to happy hour for an hour and someone coughed four times, I wouldn’t think anything of it. People get sick and it’s fine to cancel, but realistically if someone cancelled on me, no way would I have the time (or feel like going through the effort again) to round everyone up again by next month. The Op would just lose out.

    5. If you’re really interested in the job, I wouldn’t cancel. I’ve done some soft recruitment like this before for my firm, and I back off at the first whiff of the person not being interested because I don’t want to recommend someone who isn’t really interested and have it not work out.

      If you’d still show up for an actual interview or a court hearing with a cold (and I would), then you should still show up for this.

      1. +1 to everyone here. An hour before the meeting, medicate yourself up. Take an all round cough/cold/congestion thing that can reduce throat pain, and reduce stuffiness. Consider taking a mucus type medication like mucinex if your doctor recommends it. Maybe cough syrup if you need. You dont want to appear visibly sick.
        Agree with the advice of not shaking hands and saying you’re getting over a bug.

  24. This past week was terrifying, and I need to vent/get some advice.

    I have been on Lexapro for four years. Recently, it started just not being effective, so my doctor recommended I switch to something else. Except I must have made the switch too fast, because last week I lost my head and was Baker Acted (involuntarily committed). I literally do not remember what happened to land me in there…the whole thing is a blackout for me, but the paperwork says I was threatening to kill myself. I remember at the hospital begging the paramedics not to give me Ativan (I’m allergic), and four of them held me down and gave it to me anyway.

    I woke up more than 24 hours later covered in bruises in a mental health ward, and it was beyond horrible. I am an upper middle class, educated person who worked in healthcare, and I felt trapped. I was not allowed to speak to my own doctor, lawyer, or family, except for 10 minutes a day on the phone, supervised by one of the workers.

    I’m diabetic, and the food was all the fried, breaded, cheap variety and fruit juices. The first day, I didn’t eat it because I was sure it would send my blood sugar through the roof, and they wrote that I was non-compliant and refusing food, and added 24 hours to my stay.

    The ward was coed, with about 30 people. 28 men and just me and one elderly woman. None of the bedroom doors locked, and while people weren’t allowed in each other’s rooms, there was only attendant on staff at night and I woke up twice to a man in my room.

    There was no therapy or counseling sessions. The first day, I saw a doctor for literally less than 5 minutes, who prescribed a drug intended for paranoid schizophrenics (which I am not) and that was it. The rest of it all we could do was watch tv or sleep. We were allowed in a small screened in patio for 30 minutes a day, but otherwise there was no outdoor space, exercise options, or fruits/vegetables. I’ve never felt sicker.

    I would have been there much longer–they kept trying to trick me into signing a document that would let them keep me for 2 weeks, and were really threatening/scary about saying how I needed to sign it. Thankfully I didn’t, but I was so frightened.

    I honestly don’t understand; I thought the Baker Act and other similar laws could only hold you for 72 hours, and I thought you still had rights. They even took away my birth control–they said it was contraband.

    Thank goodness for my husband and family who found attorneys, social workers, and psychiatrists willing to go to herculean efforts on a holiday weekend, and they were able to get me out after four days.

    It was a terrifying experience, but I am undergoing treatment now. But I can’t help but think how horrible the system is and how completed scr*wed the people are in that ward who did not have family or money. I had all of the above and it was still hell and terrifying, and those people had nothing and are at the mercy of the center.

    I am trying to focus on recovering, but I can’t stop thinking I need to do something to help. Any suggestions on what I could do? I want to lobby, but at the same time, I don’t want my story to go public with my professional name, as selfish as that sounds. :(

    1. Sounds utterly terrifying.

      What does your doctor say? Your psychiatrist, who I assume you have been seeing for years?

      Follow their lead.

      Inpatient psyche wards are not good. No doubt. But expecting outdoor space, exercise options, and fresh veg is not realistic. The purpose of these wards is short term stabilization – to keep you from killing yourself and get you started on a medicine while they try to obtain your history. That’s it. Not long term treatment, which has different goals. Meds.

      It also sounds like you could have killed yourself.

      Are you really allergic to Ativan? What is your reaction? Anaphylaxis? This should be documented, and you should consider wearing an alert bracelet/pendant. It is not a typical allergy at all, and since many psych patients will claim they are allergic so they can avoid sedation, it will be disregarded if you are a danger to yourself or others. Did you have a reaction this time?

      I would encourage you and your husband to write up your complaints and report them to a hospital ombudsperson/patient advocate and the State licensing organizations. I would encourage you to find your local NAMI organization and get involved to figure out how you can make a difference.

      And all of us…. no matter what our illnesses…. needs an advocate when we are sick. All of us.

      And another lesson for all of us. NEVER quickly change from one medicine that affects the brain to another. You, your doctor, your family should all be aware of the risks, what to do if something happens etc… And never make changes over the weekend/holiday.

      1. My psychiatrist is pretty freaking horrified and is working on filing complaints.

        It is documented that I have an Ativan allergy–but I only had it once four or five years ago,; it makes me convulse and have seizures, which I did have this time too. It never occurred to me to wear a bracelet or anything, I guess that’s a good idea, though I hope to God I never go through this again.

        1. Also, what does your husband think? In my case, he’d probably be the person who instigated the complaint (and would understand that there are no backsies on that once it is called). If he didn’t call, who did?

          Not surprised that your BCP was not allowed — it’s a risk to you, other people, and legally to the facility.

          And are you a Type I diabetic? Then you would medically need insulin. Did you get that? Do you have a medic alert bracelet for that? Could that also partially explain the seizures or the blacking out?

        2. I am also allergic to Ativan, which we also found out the hard way. I do not remember four days of my life, between the Ativan which I reacted to and the massive dose of propofol they gave me to calm me down.

      2. I just went through this scenario, with my brother. He voluntarily checked himself in because he is clinically depressed and was suicidal, and wanted to get treatment. Once he realized at these clinics they do almost no counseling, barely saw the doctor, and wasn’t getting the help he needed, he said he was going to check out. They held him involuntarily for two weeks! I was just as shocked as you, I had no idea that was how the system worked and that they could do that! I’m assuming there is some element of money involved, maybe the state pays them more if they put someone on an involuntary hold? I’m glad you are filing complaints, and sharing your story.

    2. Are you in PSN? Start my sharing your story there (you can say it’s your friend’s story or use a new anon FB account). Awareness matters.

      Does your area have any kind of health regulatory agency that would be responsible? You could submit an anonymous complaint.

    3. So sorry you went through this. Please focus on your recovery for now. Lots of hugs to you!

    4. The goal of short term psychiatric commitment is to keep you from hurting yourself or others. It succeeded. It’s not treatment, it’s not health, it’s an anti-violence prevention mechanism. I think you should focus on figuring out what went wrong with your care that you wound up there.

      1. Then it’s not good enough? People in a vulnerable state of mental illness or in an altered state of mind need especially caring treatment. These experiences can have long-term effects. Why not intervene meaningfully? A meaningful intervention is going to happen sooner or later–why make a terrible experience worse so that there’s more to recover from? I’m really sad that our standards are so low here.

    5. Hugs.

      In patient psychiatric treatment is tough. As others have said, the goal is to keep you physically safe, which is why the doors cannot lock among other things.

      I have been the one on the other side of the door from my husband while he was inpatient. Even for me, it was easy to rail at the system, be angry about the treatment he was/was not getting and the conditions of the ward. That was much easier than attempting to understand what brought us to that place to begin with.

      While he was inpatient and for a long time after, he had no idea what was happening between the docs on the ward, his treating providers and me. The many many calls, meetings, etc. talking about his condition, treatment and eventual discharge. He has said that he voluntarily checked in, but he could not check out, and that was absolutely true.

      By all means write to the leadership of the facility, but also spend this time focusing on getting yourself well. Hugs again.

    6. How terrible! Hope you are feeling better. I believe the baker act is 72 hours after you are mentally stable- so they don’t count the first 24 where it sounds like you were out of your mind. The bracelet is a very good idea- I can see why they don’t take patients words for it when they are in that much of a state. It doesn’t sound like you lost your rights though- they still let you talk on the phone (it doesn’t seem like much but I think there has to be limits) and the food thing, while not ideal, you don’t reallly get a right to vegetables. Focus on recovery for now and getting your house in order, tackling issues at the center should be further down the line

      1. Expecting a medical facility to offer a medically appropriate diet (especially for a very common condition) seems like an awfully reasonable expectation to me. I can’t imagine recovering from a mental illness crisis with unstable blood sugar.

    7. This is terrible. And is why, even when I DID need help, when I SHOULD have checked myself in, I didn’t. And wouldn’t. And why so many people do not seek help. This is just horrible, I’m so sorry you went through that.

  25. Dumb question. What sort of nail polish do I pair with a very dark green/teal dress? It’s the work holiday party this week. I would say nude except that I have really red fingers and I’ve never been able to find a nude that doesn’t make them look inflamed by comparison. Work is suits only, so I normally just go for a dark red or a purple/red but I’m worried I’ll look like a Christmas tree.

    1. A nice metallic like bronze or silver would look nice with green and would be festive without being costumey

    2. A bright metallic like gold or silver. Something like OPI’s Designer de Better (there’s a sally hansen dupe and a few that are similar since it’s been discontinued).

    4. Reading these suggestions suddenly makes me want to paint my nails dark green, but with a metallic gold accent nail. Is that completely unprofessional? (or dated?) I’m a lawyer and am in court all the time, though it’s state-level and I see some fairly casual outfit choices regularly.

      1. Yes… unprofessional and a bit tacky with the gold accent nail.

        But love the idea of dark green for work, and the combo with gold for a night out….although still not my style.

      2. I would absolutely do dark green for work and Court. You are not exactly up close and personal, from a distance I do not think you can tell the difference between green or brown or dark red. And when and how did we determine that dark brown or dark purple is professional but dark green is not? Ugh, the rules that we bind ourselves with are ridiculous.

  26. Family gift question – I’m looking for a $100ish gift for a family with a 17 yo boy and 13 and 11 year old girls. I was thinking of getting them 50 of those fake snowballs, fancy hot chocolates, marshmallows, and some fancy english muffins and jams – a kind of “winter morning” theme gift basket. Are the kids too old to enjoy the fake snowballs?

    Anyone have any other ideas?

    1. As a parent, I beg you not to give them 50 fake snowballs. Do you know how much room those will take up and how much destruction they will cause?

      I would give them a copy of “Miracle,” the movie about the 1980 USA Olympic hockey victory, some great snacks and hot chocolates, and a board game like Risk.

      1. They come in an 1’x7″ box so I figured they would pack down pretty small? Mostly I want the kids to enjoy the gift as well as the adults. Personally, I would not have enjoyed a movie about hockey as a 23 year old girl, and I really want the kids to enjoy the gift, too.

    2. As a parent I vote please no to the fake snowballs. If you insist on somehting like that, what about an inflatable tube for sledding? Otherwise I’d suggest a cute cuddly throw (Nordstrom has some highly rated ones for about $30 today), really nice hot chocolate (penzey’s?) or tea, high end pancake or waffle mix, fancy syrup, and a holiday movie or amazon gift card for them to stream one.

    3. I doubt those kids will enjoy the fake snowballs. I might recommend a family holiday movie instead? Or a game – my family loves Bananagrams.

      1. Those kids are too old for fake snowballs. My 3 yo loves them. The 13 yo niece not so much.

        Yes I vote like the others – get them a board game to play together. If you insist on something “cool” – do you know if they have a gaming system? Get them the Jackbox Party Pack (I think it’s on both PS4 and Xbox.) Basically you play trivia games with your smart phone as the buzzer. You’d have to get them a gift card to their online store and just specify that’s what it’s for. But my family of all ages played it multiple times this weekend and loved it – teenagers were giving grandparents their phones for a round. People were watching even if they weren’t playing. Fun to play, funny to watch.

    4. Naturebox! They have special holiday boxes with like 20 different snacks, all made with healthy ingredients for about $50 or $60. They’re the best!!!

    5. I don’t love it. Kids don’t want fancy jam and muffins. Or a festively themed group gift to share. Get them each a fun snack, call it a day.

    6. What about a family pack of movie tickets? Or some DVDs you think they would like, fancy microwave popcorn, and other snacks?

      1. I really like this idea. Going to the movies can be expensive! A gift card would be fun for them to go together and get out of the house, plus everyone loves those artery-clogging troughs of popcorn.

      2. This. My kids are about this age, all boys, and we would be thrilled to get movie ticket passes for Christmas. Obie’s are so expensive!

    7. Ok, you’ve convinced me the snowballs are a bad idea. They’re not console people – I’m not sure they even have a tv in the living room. Any other ideas? I’d be open to individual gifts for the kids but I don’t know them super well, they’re pretty well off, and their mother has very discerning taste, so I feel like anything individual is a little more of a land mine.

      1. A nice puzzle or quirky board game? Maybe Uncommon Goods or a similar store would have one. The most popular gift in my family for years was a variety of Triazzle puzzles (they aren’t currently producing them). You could still do a basket of snacks to go with it.

        1. Exploding Kittens by the guy who does The Oatmeal! I played it this weekend and it was great.

        2. Another vote for board games! I’ve played Pandemic successfully in groups with the age range you mention.

      2. Recently played Dixit and think it would be a great game for the different ages, and very fun. It’s similar to Apples to Apples but with pictures.

    8. What about games and puzzles and snacks? Like a jigsaw puzzle of [does the family have a common interest? a sports team the root for? place they traveled recently?] and a silly game like Bop It or something?

  27. I’ve decided I want to get myself a nice piece of jewelry for the holidays. I’ve never purchased fine jewelry for myself–everything I have comes from my partner or my family. The feminist in me wants to buy myself my own bling!

    I’m not really sure where to look. Is online shopping a no-no for fine jewelry? I’m also interested in either a ring or bracelet based on what I wear most often. I like minimalist jewelry, and I’ve been attracted to thin diamond bands, but I realized those are all marketed as wedding bands. Would wearing one on a non-ring finger on my right hand still scream “wedding band?”

    If anyone has ideas of other styles, I’d love to see them. I also like the concept of the David Yurman Albion ring because it doesn’t look like a wedding ring wanna-be, but I’d like something a little less ornate and less brand-recognizable. My budget is $2,000, but I don’t need to spend that much in order to feel like I’m treating myself.

    1. I love the thin eternity bands also and I would have no hesitation wearing one on my right hand. If that’s what you like, go for it!! You could always have the colorless stone alternated with a colored stone if you want it to look a little different (although I know that some people have this style for wedding bands also).

      2. Thanks! I think a colored stone is a great idea. Looking at sapphires and black diamonds now.

    2. Do you have a local jeweler near you? Ours has a fantastic ‘estate’ case (not all of which is antique) and I’ve gotten some amazing finds there. I also think its nice to form a relationship with a local jeweler – ours will recommend pieces they think are to my taste when they get them in from new estate sales.

    3. Fun! I would recommend going to a brick-and-mortar store so you can try things on. If you’re going to be in NYC any time soon, Catbird sounds like it would be ideal for your taste–they have a lot of beautiful, delicate rings that don’t scream wedding. (They also have an online store.)

          1. Ooh love that too. My BFF took me to Catbird the last time I visited her…I’m completely obsessed. Everything looks as good in person as it does online.

      1. Ugh just realized this isn’t going to bring you to the right picture. I purchased a LeVian ring with a morganite center stone, two smaller diamonds on each side and then itty bitty diamonds down the band. It’s a strawberry gold ring. Very thin band and the center stones are fairly small as well.

    5. Strangely enough, I have had good luck with fine jewelry at Costco. I was there yesterday and they had some rings with colored stones that were not dissimilar to the David Yurman ring. If you have a Costco near you, you might want to check it out.

      1. +1 The pitfall of Costco is that the selection isn’t huge, but if there happens to be something there that you like, the quality is excellent.

    6. Check out Costco for the best value on diamonds. They have a bunch of really simple bands and some diamond rings with a little more flair online.

  28. I am so happy! I was able to have facilities remove the fluorescent light bulbs from the light directly above my desk. I have a desk lamp and under cabinet lighting, so now my desk has a nice soft light. I had been getting headaches and added reading glasses, but I think the change in lighting will also make a huge difference.

    I am ALL CAPS happy about this, especially on the first Monday back from a holiday weekend!

  29. Not sure if this is the right place, but does anyone on here know of good resources (books, websites, etc) on managing an outsourced (on and offshore) IT function?

    1. Look at any of the consulting firms for general articles, and Horses for Sources website (yes, really!!) for research.

      My biggest advice is clear and meaningful service levels.

  30. I’d love suggestions for a meaningful holiday gift for my parents. They have gone above and beyond this year helping me extricate myself from a verbally abusive marriage and I really would love to get them something special. Budget is extremely tight – I would love to stay below $50 but could go up to $100. They live halfway across the country and are in their 70s. I see them a few times a year. They don’t “need” anything and I’d really like it to be something that expresses how grateful I am for their love and support, but I’m really not sure that’s something that can be said with a gift…I do say it frequently when we talk but I would love to surprise them with something special.

    2. Give them a handwritten letter saying what you want to say in a leather envelope.

      you can make a key chain/jewelry inscribed with a message with your handwriting. So you could make a message that they always have with them. Or if they have a patio that they love to sit on – you can get a message inscribed in a stone for their garden area.

      Do they have dreams that they talk about completing? Maybe you could say that you would love to return some of the time and support they gave you to completing those and give them a symbolic gesture towards that dream. For example if they want to build a cabin you could give them a brick or address numbers for it, if they want to go traveling you could give them passport covers etc.

    3. What about creating a photobook for them? You can make them online (Apple does them, I think a couple other sites too) and then ship it. Do one of your family, things that are sentimental – the kind of thing that they can pull out and smile at. Write them a note inside the front cover expressing your feelings.

    4. Etsy has some nice wooden picture frames with sayings around them (link in reply). If you have a nice photo of you and them, you could get one and put the photo in it.

    5. Digital picture frame, loaded with family pictures. And keep loading them over time.

    6. Check out “I love you Dad” and “I love you Mom” books. They are basically journals that have questions you answer about your parents. My siblings and I did this for my parents and they loved reading through them. It was fun for us too.

      1. I’ve made one for both my parents. My mom said it was the best gift I’ve ever given her.

    7. a slight twist on the photo book idea … an electronic photo frame. It just cycles through the photos. I love randomly glancing over and seeing a photo from years ago! Include old baby pictures of you, old photos of them, etc. you can easily update it from a usb stick or sd card when you visit them.

  31. DH and I are planning one last trip before we TTC. The trip would probably be in late May or June. We’d like to go to Europe since we haven’t been together in a few years. We’ve done Greece, Denmark and Sweden together and I’ve been to France and Germany recently for work, so those countries are not high on the list. I’d like to go to Italy as it strikes me as one of the hardest places to do with kids, at least the way we would like to do it (fancy meals, lots of wine, romance, long hikes in Cinque Terre). DH has thrown out a few other places – Ireland, Scotland, Norway, Iceland, the Netherlands – and while they’re all places I’d very much like to go some day, I feel like they would be easier to do with kids. But maybe I’m wrong about that. Thoughts? Where would go in Europe for one last kid-free trip?

    1. I think all of these are easy with kids. You’re trying to “win” your preference- don’t. Pick where you are both the most excited about going right now, don’t pick based on kids if you’re just selecting a country in Europe.

    2. Italy can be easy with kids. It just looks different, slower pace and more dinners at home. If you’re set on Italy as you describe – that will be a great trip but definitely hard to do post kids.

    3. I’d do part of the Camino de Santiago. Obvs not the whole thing, but you can do some express trips. THAT level of walking is hard to do with even my grade-school aged kids.

    4. Istanbul and other places in Turkey
      Naples (just because there are so few side walks and I would be freaked out with a kid getting hit by a scooter)
      Moscow

      If you are into history and museums, a place where you would do hours of that and your kids would be bored and not have the attention span for it. Same with if you like opera or theater – places that you would want to do those things.

      If you are into hiking – long difficult hikes would be on my list.

    5. The one-last-trip-without-kids that my husband and I planned (but then went ahead and had a kid instead :) was to Spain — we wanted to do Barcelona and Seville, with a short trip over to Morocco. Maybe someday…

    6. Iceland and Norway sound the most difficult to do with kids to me – tougher to please a picky kid palette and if you want to do serious outdoor activities, you have to wait until the kid is probably at least 8.

      1. I don’t know about Norway, but in Iceland there isn’t much serious outdoor stuff unless you’re really adventurous. I consider myself pretty outdoorsy, but I went to Iceland last year with just my husband and we didn’t do anything that a preschool-age kid couldn’t have done (Blue Lagoon, walking around Reykjavik, lots of scenic drives and short walks, boat trips on the glacial lagoons). We didn’t do glacier walking or snowmobiling, so I guess maybe that requires the kids to be a bit older (although a friend did it with her daughter who was six at the time I think). But in any destination there are going to be certain activities you can’t do with kids under 8 or so. I’m not sure Iceland has more of those activities than other destinations. The blogger Aspiring Kennedy has written about her trips to Iceland with her very young kids. I actually think it looks like a great place for a family vacation.

        1. There’s a ton of seriously cool outdoor stuff in Iceland, it is a big draw – but you’re right, they may not even be outdoorsy people interested in doing that kind of thing. I am pretty sure a 6 year old would not be on a glacier, unless maybe their parents are pretty serious mountaineers. No guide would allow that.

          1. Oh, my friend and her kid did the glacier snowmobiling, not glacier hiking. The adults (or a guide maybe) drove and the kid just sat in the back, which doesn’t seem unsafe for a kid that young, assuming the kid is well-behaved and can follow instructions.

    7. We just did Italy for our last “pre-kids” trip, and it was great. We went to Rome, Florence, and Tuscany. Yes, you can technically go there with kids and we do plan to take ours to Tuscany someday, but you can’t do a day-long Tuscan wine tasting tour or go to a 3-star Michelin restaurant with kids (both were highlights of our trip!).

      1. Not the OP but please tell me more about this trip. Thinking of doing a similar itinerary this spring and wine tasting in Tuscany and 3 star restaurants are very relevant to my interests :)

  32. A dear friend and her husband have asked me and my husband to be godparents and, in the event of a disaster, legal guardians for their six-month-old son. We are honored and have agreed whole-heartedly.

    At this point, are there things that the four of us should discuss? Or things we should check in on in the future?

    Extra background: My husband and I do not yet have children but will likely have one (only) child within the next 2-5 years, and we four have agreed that this will eventually be a reciprocal relationship. We are all in good health and don’t foresee any medical issues in the next few decades; we share a religious faith and a lot of personal interests; each couple is very financially comfortable; and we know one another’s families. We are currently located in different major cities within the same region (think Boston to New York) but we see each other about once a month.

    1. 1 – make sure that any life insurance they (and you) have will go directly into a trust upon their (and your) death.
      2 – make sure you will be the trustee of the trust
      3 – make sure you have access to any additional funds they expect to leave behind, but probably make sure someone else is the executor
      4 – consider whether you know this child’s grandparents, and whether they will know your (future) child’s grandparents. Grandparents can file for visitation rights in this sort of situation, so you’ll want to avoid that.
      5 – find out if there are specific financial bequests in the will, which could trump any money due to care for their child.

      1. All of this and be sure to double check any beneficiary designations on life insurance, retirement accounts, etc.

    2. Yes, we were also advised that whoever had primary custody of our child should not also be the executor of the estate, to avoid conflicts. Both sets of grandparents were also advised as to who the guardians and executors were. Neither had any issues with that. We also bumped up life insurance to cover off mortgage, private school tuition at his current school, and private school college funds.

  33. Are there any European ‘rettes who can recommend similar blogs based in Europe but blogging mostly in English? My French and German are mediocre at best these days. I see Ask a Manager or Capital Hill Style recommended to Americans but interested in recommendations for similar Euro blogs.

    TIA!

    2. I seem to have lost my previous post.

      I like Bang On Style as she not only shops in the U.K. but I can afford some of it.
      Another UK blog I’ve gotten into lately is The Frugality. Again it’s affordable.
      You could also try A Girl A Style. An Aussie in the U.K.

      Not work or fashion related but I like A Dons Life. From TES. But that’s the historian in me coming out.

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