Coffee Break: Tissue Weight Wool and Cashmere Wrap

Nordstrom Tissue Weight Wool and Cashmere WrapOne of my must-haves for spring and fall is always a lightweight (but warm!) scarf or wrap.  It’s great to fold neatly (and maybe even place it in a Ziploc to protect it), and carry it with you always in case you need extra warmth on a windy spring day.  (It’s also great for those warm days when your coat is too hot, but you still want another layer.)  I have an ancient Loro Piana scarf that I use for this purpose, but because it hasn’t held up well (at all!) I’m on the hunt for a new one.  This tissue weight wool & cashmere wrap (available in approximately 20 million colors) looks like it would do the job with both warmth and thinness — and it’s 20% off, huzzah.  Was $98, now $78.40. Nordstrom Tissue Weight Wool and Cashmere Wrap



  1. I love soft and lightweight scarves!

  2. This is beautiful! And periwinkle is my favorite color. But the mint green is pretty, too! Gah! I’d been collecting the various colors of the linen blend scarf, but I life the idea of a lightweight soft warm scarf, too.

    • yeah, I have a wool scarf that needs replacing, too! Ruh Roh!!

    • I love this scarf, and MUST show ROSA b/c she can get it at NORDSTROM’s in White Plain’s!!!! Mabye she can buy two and we can be twins! YAY!!!!! I am not sure if the manageing partner will reimburse me for a scarf–technicaly it is NOT clotheing and I do NOT wear it to court, but I think I will argue that I need to wear this TO court and that if I get sick, I will NOT be abel to speak as effetivly IN court and the JUDGE will not be abel to hear my voice — therefoere I should be abel to get REIMBURSED for the scarf!

      If anyone in the hive can help me with another better arguement, I am all ear’s!!!!! YAY!!!

      In the mean time, Mason has been giveing me dirty look’s today. I think some of the thing’s I told Lynn must have stuck in her mind and mabye she is not beeing treated like such a dishrag by him, or some thing else is going down that I do NOT know about. Mabye I am to sensitive, but I think she may be standeing up to some of his demand’s and askeing for more in return. What else could it be? Well we women HAVE to stick up for ourselves, or guy’s will just burp and walk away. FOOEY on that! Especially since she is sleepeing with him every nite, he is probabley getting alot more then he deserves. FOOEY!

      • Your logical arguments are impeccable as always. I’m sure the managing partner will decide to reimburse you for the scarf!

  3. I LOL’d at the “20 million colors” then had to click over to see for myself. That is a pretty accurate description of the available colors.

  4. Anonymous :

    It’s hard to be sure, but this looks a lot like the scarf I ordered from Nordstrom which is much heavier than what I would consider “tissue weight.” It’s thick and heavy enough to keep me warm on 30 degree days. I think I’d melt in this in 60 degree spring weather.

    • I have this scarf in two colors, and I agree with Anonymous. It is wonderful, and versatile, but I wouldn’t call it lightweight. I wear it when it is snowing out :)

    • I have this scarf as well – agree that due to its awesomely large size, it’s definitely more of a “protect against cold and wind chill” type of scarf. Love it, though! It’s still lightweight in the literal sense – keeps you quite warm while not feeling bulky or anything.

  5. Coach Laura :

    This would be a great Mothers’ Day gift – to me from my kids!

  6. I don’t know if this has been discussed but any other Bay Area/techie women see this article on what to wear in the Bay Area and still look professional?

    My takeaways: structured but not bulky dresses (surprise!) and jackets. Leather is okay. Lots of geometric and origami seams and folds. It seems like there are lots of masculine colors and details. Sleeveless is acceptable.

    • SV in House :

      What I found interesting was the comment about not taking care of yourself and the correlation to good business decisions. Does that mean that if you have a few extra pounds, you can’t make good business decisions? Is that equally true of men and women?

      It also shows that SF lacks a quality newspaper :)

      • Agreed. It’s a double standard around here when most guys don’t bother to shave more than twice per week.

        • Mary Ann Singleton :

          I think we’ve reached “peak beard” now though so I expect a return to shaving.

        • Twice per week? I know some guys in tech who shave twice per year, if that! Most of my female friends who work in tech dress pretty casually – jeans, t-shirts, flip-flops etc similar to the stereotypical male engineer look. But they are engineers not executives. They have told me they get weird comments and get told they are too dressed up when they wear a blazer (even with jeans) or a dress (even a very casual one that would not be appropriate for a law office, like a sundress). Most women I know in the bay area in more conservative fields like law, finance and consulting dress more traditionally business casual than the women pictured here. I think these women look great, but this “edgy professional” look seems more suited to creative fields (and maybe marketing in the tech world too?) and executives who can wear whatever they want.

    • One of my favorite bloggers is a bay area techie (Google) and is the lagenlook queen. But she leans artist more than “business”. But well thought out and put together.

  7. JNY Brooke Dress? :

    Does anyone have the Brooke dress from Jones New York? There are no reviews and I’m wondering about fit on a tall and curvy body.Looks like a good summer staple for me. Thanks!,default,pd.html?variantSizeClass=&variantColor=JJ3WWXX&cgid=24983447&prefn1=catalog-id&prefv1=jonesny-catalog

    • I love the Ziploc bag idea Kat.

      I received the Brooke dress yesterday and will be returning it. It was very well made but was very straight through the hips. I may order it in the next size and have the waist taken in. I ordered the matching Olivia jacket but did not love how they looked together.

    • Incidentally, if you sign up for their free rewards program, shipping is free both ways.

    • JNY Brooke Dress? :

      Thanks both!

      • I tried this on in the store. I liked the fabric and weight but it was cut a bit too straight for my curves. I ended up with a different JNY dress that day. But I did love the stretch blazer – super comfy and a great length for me.

  8. hoola hoopa :

    Real estate purchasing question: Strategy for offers in current market?

    Background: We’re currently buying and the very low inventory in our market (2 months) is causing prices to skyrocket. Also, there’s just very little buy. In our criteria – which is ‘middle class family home in popular suburbs’, so quite a bit of competition – there’s about one new home per week in the two-suburb region we’re looking. We got great advice and market insight/analysis from our selling agent but are getting no real advice from our buying agent. They work as a team, therefore it’s so far been a package deal.

    What should our strategy be for our offer price? Our first offer was at asking but the sellers had verbally accepted an offer and so we were put in back up. We just put another offer on a house fresh on the market (day 2) for asking price. Asking price is do-able but a smidge more than we want to spend. We like but don’t loooove the house. A coworker just lovingly chastised me for making the initial offer for asking. She said that we should always start at $15k under asking. (We’re looking in the mid/high 300k’s).

    We bought our last home too long ago for me to remember what the strategy was. We have about four more weeks to find a home in order to close before we have to be out of our current housing situation, so time is a factor.

    • Bewitched :

      This is so market specific. DC would be different from Philly which would be different from Ann Arbor etc etc. There is no way for anyone to answer this definitively for you without knowing your specific market. I would say that if your first offer was at asking and you did not get the house, then your co-worker is probably wrong about coming in below asking. Of course, maybe the first house was priced just right, and house 2 is overpriced, so a 15% reduction would be appropriate. Your realtor should be providing you with comparables and giving you advice on this topic! What is the average selling price per square foot in the market? Did house #1 or house #2 have any attributes which made them particularly favorable (e.g. desirable neighborhood) or unfavorable (located near railroad line). Again, all of these questions are very location/market dependent!

      • If you want the real estate broker to help with comparables and such, consider a buyer’s broker. A broker who is working for the seller may not be helpful with this.

        • hoola hoopa :

          We’re using our own buyers broker, not the selling agent. I meant that the agent who sold our previous home works in a team with the agent that is now our buying agent. They have no affiliation with the agents selling the homes we put offers on.

      • hoola hoopa :

        I know! It’s a lame question, but I don’t really have anyone else to ask. Really, I’m frustrated by the lack of advice from our buying agent but we feel tied to them for the time being.

        I suppose I was also asking to see if I’d get a bunch of responses like “yeah, dummy, never start with asking!” Seeing responses below at least makes me feel like we’re not being idiots.

        House #2 was very typical for area and price per sqft was right on average per redfin. It makes me feel better that you mentioned that.

        • Can you see on Redfin (or maybe Zillow) what ask price was and what sale price was for recent sales? Those will at least provide some data points for your area, although it’s frustrating that your agent can’t be more help with that.

          • hoola hoopa :

            It took some digging, but I can get to that info on redfin. Thanks for the suggestion!

        • It totally depends. Putting in an offer at asking price where I live, in San Francisco, would basically never succeed. Most places sell for well over.

          If it makes sense to put in a lower offer in your area, you could experiment with other contingencies to make your office more attractive, i.e., shorter inspection period, waiving the mortgage contingency if you are confident in your financing, etc.

        • Anonymous :

          We bought in a competitive seller’s market. We would talk with our agent through the week for listed properties, and would make arrangements for seeing the property the same day, and if it had to be the next day, we would add the caveat “if it’s still available”

          In that market we sold two homes as For Sale By Owner, so there may be other properties in that genre. We sold solid homes, and they were inspected.

          We also purchased a diamond in the rough by offering the EXACT price for a decent house that needed a lot of landscape work. We read the fine print and discovered that the seller was willing to pave the driveway, so we put in language about driveway finishing with a few details on what sort of paving & where.

          This sounds like you have CRAZY Sellers Market for the two areas. Good offer.

    • We are in a very similar situation. Our lease is up at the end of August, we’re fairly picky about location (want to be withing walking distance of our boys’ schools which are fairly near to each other). Not a lot of inventory. We are just starting to look.

      Because of the seller’s market we find ourselves in, we don’t plan on offering less than maybe $10k under asking (our ideal price would be $450-$500), but will offer full asking price on a home that ‘ticks all the boxes’. I try to think of it in terms of ‘What is this house worth to us’ rather than ‘What is the lowest price this house will go for in this market’. Because while we’d love to get a great deal on a house, I’m just not sure that will happen in this market, and we are prepared to pay what we can for a house that will work well for our family. Maybe this is naive, or not smart, but it’s how dh & I feel.

      • hoola hoopa :

        GL! About half the homes we’ve been interested in have received and accepted an offer by the (short) time between us viewing the home and submitting an offer. Meanwhile, prices have gone up about 10% in just the four weeks we’ve ben looking. It’s incredibly frustrating. We’ve widened our range to $60k higher than we started because inventory is just so low.

        • Is your version of short too long? We bought in a hot sellers market some years ago, and after viewing the house after work we retired to a nearby Denny’s with our agent, filled out the offer form, and she faxed it in from her office that evening. It was accepted the next morning. If the agent had waited to submit our offer until she got to her office the next day, we would have missed out. I imagine that email makes things even faster now. From your comments, it does not sound like your agent is very savvy.

    • In a tight market, asking price is merely an indication that you aren’t wasting the seller’s time.

      Redfin’s blog has a recurring feature that breaks down “successful” offers by market–including things like all-cash, inspection contingencies, finance contingencies, time to close, rent-back, etc. I’d take a look there for your information in your market.

      Honestly, if I were to buy a house in my neighborhood, I’d bring a house inspector to my initial viewing (and waive inspection contingency if I make an offer), expect to pay 10%-20% over asking, and have at least 25% down with bank pre-qualification.

      • hoola hoopa :

        Link to one of the redfin blog features? I can’t find them.


          • hoola hoopa :

            Thank you!

            In our market, it looks like homes typically sell for asking.

    • Ask your agent for comparables and look at the prices they were listed at and the prices that they actually sold at. You should have an idea of what the house is worth in general from the comps and you shouldn’t need to base your offer solely on the list price. It’s not really a big deal to bid too low, unless it’s so low that it’s insulting. $10-$15K below asking is usually a reasonable starting point and there should be some back and forth. If the sellers get other offers and yours isn’t the best, they’ll come back to you and ask you to bid again unless they are insane people who hate getting more money.

      • hoola hoopa :

        This is exactly what coworker said.

      • Senior Associate :

        This is not true in a really hot market. In the Bay Area, the listing price has virtually nothing to do with the actual sale price or value of the house. You have to go to Redfin, like others have said, and look at sale prices (and price/square foot) to get comps. In our market, houses routinely go for an average of 10-20% above list price – and even more depending on the selling agent. (There is one real estate company that notoriously underprices houses to create a bidding war.) It’s infuriating, but in the Bay Area, an offer at list price is almost never successful.

      • How long should it take an agent to get comps? A relative is trying to sell a place that’s half-renovated. He needs to sell it quick due per a court order related to his divorce. His agent has taken weeks to get him comps. Is that normal?

        Neither I nor the relative are in the SF Bay area.

        • Senior Associate :

          Doesn’t sound normal to me. I’d seriously consider finding a new agent.

        • +1 That doesn’t sound right at all. The agent should be able to pull up similar houses (even if those are fully renovated) from the area pretty quickly. “Weeks” means this guy either doesn’t want the business or is just too busy to devote the time your relative might need for this sale.

        • One night? They pretty much just look them up in the MLS system, it’s like Googling. The agent sounds incompetent.

          • Anonymous :

            When we were selling as FSBO, we figured out comparables on our own through the internet tools at that time.

            Also, we lived near the edge of a zip code, and the start of another one. So for our own personal “comps” in support of our price, we found apples-to-apples (same schools, same county, rural road, within a mile of us) by looking in both zip codes, and doing a drive-by.

        • My mom is a very successful realtor (and I say that not to brag, but to show that she’s great at her job). She can do a market analysis in one night if there’s a rush. It takes a few hours, tops. If someone treats you like this when they’re trying to get your business, imagine how hard they’d work once you’ve committed to them. Move on–this is a huge warning sign. The barriers to entry to be a realtor are low, so while there are plenty of good ones, there are way more bad ones who don’t take being a realtor too seriously.

        • Excellent! This is exactly the advice my relative needs. Thank you so much! Sounds like firing this agent may be in the cards. Are there agents that specialize in damaged or as-is properties? Is that what “distressed” property means?

    • Senior Associate :

      Some other thoughts from our recent successful offer in our red-hot Bay Area market:

      1) Put together a really nice offer letter talking about how much you love the house. Include a family photo. If you can, research the sellers to see if you have points in common with them – for example, I realized that one seller had sent her children to the same preschool we did. I didn’t actually say that, but I did mention that “as a Sunshine Preschool family, we have many friends in this neighborhood and would love to be a part of the community.” (Or something like that.) It’s a risk and you can’t be a stalker about it, but in the Bay Area at least, you have to find some way to stand out if you can’t compete on price. I did three letters with three offers – for two, we ended up in a counteroffer situation “because the sellers loved the letters so much” as per RE agent, and for the third, we got the house “even though it wasn’t the highest bid because they just loved your letter and wanted you to have the house.” Maybe broker babble, but who knows.

      2) Think seriously about what contingencies you can waive. In this market, people routinely waive all contingencies – I was not comfortable with that, but think about what you can waive (the loan contingency? an appraisal contingency?)

      3) We did not have 25% down and did it on 10% down, but had gotten preapproved/prequalified and had good paperwork and documentation showing our ability to pay. We also included bank statements to show that we had cash on hand to make the sale go through. I don’t know if that’s typical in every real estate market, but I think it’s pretty normal in the Bay Area.

      4) Have your entire offer package ready to go so you can make the offer as soon as you see the house.

      Good luck. Real estate is not for the weak – I thank my stars every single day that we’re not trying to buy a house anymore.

      • No experience of my own, but I’ll +1 the letter. My mom heavily considered letters both times that she sold homes. For what I’d consider my childhood home, she turned down a higher-priced offer, to sell to a family that she felt good about giving her house to.

    • hoola hoopa :

      Thank you to all. Very helpful advice and food for thought.

      Our offer for asking was accepted. Price per sqft is similar but slightly less than recently sold nearby homes. We plan to stay there for the long term, so we didn’t need an insane deal and it doesn’t seem like we drastically over paid. Maybe we could have gone back and forth and saved $5k, but that’s small change over the next 30 years.

      Thanks so much for talking it out while I freaked out. You’re so right Senior Associate: Real estate is not for the weak.

      • Senior Associate :

        Hurray! Congratulations! That’s awesome. I hope closing goes well. You can game out real estate all you want, but at the end of the day, you’re buying a home to live in – and I agree that $5000 is nothing in the grand scheme of this purchase.

  9. Thread Jack! my very first one. Anyway I’m wondering if any of you have ever worked with a personal wardrobe consultant or image consultant? Some Background – I’m in my early 40ies and am a full time working mom of 3. I recently moved from a huge bank where I was a compliance manager to a smaller hedge fund where I am the compliance director and the only executive woman. In SF Bay and business casual just for reference.
    Anyway I feel like my wardrobe is confused. There’s a lot of pieces but they don’t really play nice. I tend to wear dress slacks, button down blouses with cardigans or silk shells with blazers. Think Brooks Brothers. I’m not necessarily looking to change, I’ve always had a classic style but I think I could use a better focus and organization as I seek to elevate my look and refine it. Have anyone ever done this? How do you find someone? Any recommendations?

    • How much are you willing to spend? My former stylist, Melyssa, is now at Wilkes Bashford in Stanford. She was awesome but now I can’t afford her clothes!

    • SV in House :

      I highly recommend my good friend Laurie Harden. She is thoughtful and will work with your closet and within your price point. She is also a mom-preneur and great person!

    • anonyomous :

      I am in the bay area and have used Mimi. She comes to your house and goes through your closet and tells you what to keep and what to get rid of and suggest new outfit suggestions. Then you go shopping with her based on your budget and she fills in your wardrobe holes. Its awesome! Highly suggest her!

    • Anyone willing to give an idea how much these services cost? Specifically the closet review/clean out, and also shopping trip?

  10. Anonymous :

    Ladies, if you are wearing flats for comfort reasons, the NYT presents you with another option:

    (Gosh, I love the NYT “trends” articles)

    • I read this yesterday. Crazy. Every time I think I’ve seen and heard it all, I find out about yet another thing you can get snipped or cut or “done” to yourself that it never even occurred to me consider doing. I mean toe-bisity, seriously!?

    • Legally Brunette :

      Toebesity? Toe lipo? Who are these women??? Vomit in throat.

    • Wow. Just… wow.

    • If I have some weird nightmares tonight, I will know why.

    • AnonInfinity :

      Does anyone else watch The League? There are a few episodes in that show where the character who’s a plastic surgeon is promoting his toe-bisity surgery.

      • Anastasia :

        I just binge watched that season a couple weeks ago… First thing I thought of was Andre. So glad I’m not the only one! Haha

  11. hellskitchen :

    Speaking of babies, I find myself using my lunch hour to check out the latest photos of Prince George on his Australia tour – Suri’s Burn Book posts regular updates. I never cared much about following Duchess Kate’s outfits but George’s photos make me smile. The photos of him with his namesake bilby are adorable.

    • Senior Attorney :

      I’ve been following the tour on Go Fug Yourself dot com. That is one adorable baby!

      • I love the Go Fug Yourself coverage. Their version of Prince George’s internal monologue (“DOWN NOW YES DOWN PLEASE THANK YOU”) makes me think that baby George and Godzilla could be besties.

    • Bewitched :

      I also thought it was so.freaking.adorably cute when I read one article today which said that Kate said George had put on an “extra roll” of fat during the vacation! I can just imagine his pudgy legs, and it cracked me up to think of him “indulging himself” while in NZ and Australia!

    • Philanthropy Girl :

      I confess I’ve been crushing on Prince George’s wardrobe. Since we found out Philanthropy Baby is a boy, all I want are cute smocked overalls. Too bad I don’t have the royal budget!

      • Check out the facebook smocked auction sites – there are a ton, I liked Smocked Auctions and Stelly Belly best. You can get smocked outfits for $20-30.

    • He is the cutest baby ever!! Have you seen the video where he throws the stuffed bilby on the floor and Prince William picks it up and says “He does love it, honestly.” So cute!!

    • Have you seen some of the gifs out with him? I particularly enjoy the one from the Plunket play date where the little girl is crying and the subtext someone put there was something to the effect of “Why are you crying peasant? Your king commands you to stop.” Too adorable!

    • hellskitchen :

      I haven’t seen that video, will check it out. And I believe Kat when she says he’s put on another layer of pudginess – that’s why he pulls off the shorts and half overalls look so well.

  12. SV in House :

    Suggestions requested for dinner tonight, please! My in-laws are visiting, I have a meeting tonight, and DH is on a late flight home. My son has a test tomorrow, so I can’t suggest eating out. Grandma is not a very good cook, so I would love to throw something in the oven before I leave that they can pull out in an hour or less. The problem is that FIL is lactose intolerant and does not eat cheese, which rules out most of my standard choices (lasagna, enchiladas). In-laws don’t like a lot of spice, which takes out things like chili. Oh, and we had a roast chicken last night. Any ideas?

    • Roasted pork loin with roasted spring vegetables? Depending on the weather where you are (it’s 80 something where I live today), you could do a beef stew or something similar and braise it in a Dutch oven in the oven.

      We did make-your-own-Chipotle-burrito-bowls the other night. Brown rice (one of those 90-second microwave packs), black beans, and all the fixings (minus cheese and sour cream for your FIL) with a rotisserie chicken all chopped up.

      • Orangerie :

        Second the recommendation for pork + veggies.

        One of my favorite low-prep meals is a pork tenderloin sprinkled with salt & pepper, roasted with rainbow carrots drizzled in a little bit of olive oil and S&P. Throw in a few cloves of garlic near the meat to add flavor and everything is done in 30 minutes or less.

        Now I’m hungry.

    • Pick up take-out on your way home from the meeting?

    • Is supplying lactaid an option?

      • Anonylicious :

        Lactaid doesn’t always work. Sometimes it breaks down too fast or too slow or you find out too late that you should have taken more of it. It’s like Russian Roulette with your intestines.

        • I assume you’re referring to the tablet that you take with the meal. Instead take Digestive Advantage one a day in the morning.

        • That’s good to know!

    • Broiled salmon is the quickest meal ever. I put Costco frozen IQF salmon fillets in the oven at 425 and they’re done in 20 minutes (depending on how you like your salmon). No need to defrost. Season before cooking with a little soy sauce and/or garlic powder. If you feel ambitious, make a little sauce with mayonnaise or sour cream and dill.

      • In regards to salmon, I made a maple-mustard glaze for salmon one night that ex-bf gobbled up. 3T dijon, 1T maple syrup, .25t paprika, .25t pepper, dash of salt, spread it over the salmon and bake at 450 for 8 to 12 minutes until the salmon is cooked. Really great with rich and steamed broccoli.

    • How much time do you have to cook this? I’d suggest stuffed peppers but that’s easiest if you already have some rice or quinoa cooked and veggies ready to go.

      Alternatively, what about some kind of baked bean casserole? There are tons of recipes online, including this one:

    • marketingchic :

      Roasted salmon is fast and good – add the veggies that JJ suggested. You could have salad and/or couscous on the side.

    • BankrAtty :

      I’m lactose sensitive too. This spinach kugel from Veganomicon is easy and yummy. Boil 3 cups pasta. Set aside. Let 30 oz of frozen spinach thaw and drain in a colander. In a food processor, mix 12 oz tofu, 1 cup veggie broth, and 2 Tbsp olive oil. Add this tofu mixture to 1 1/4 cup matzo meal (or bread crumbs!), the drained spinach, the cooked pasta, 1 onion diced, 1/4 cup fresh dill, 2 Tbsp lemon juice, 3/4 tsp salt, and 1/2 tsp pepper. Spread it out in a greased 9×13 dish and bake for about 30 minutes at 350. I like to sprinkle chopped herbs, sundried tomatoes, and breadcrumbs on the top.

    • you’re in the bay area it looks like, I’d just order Munchery

      • How is Munchery? I’ve heard really good things and it looks way cheaper than most food delivery (DoorDash, etc) and even things you have to cook yourself (Blue Apron). Do the meals taste good? Are they easy to heat up?

        • I love their meals – mine have always been really tasty, delivered on time, and I usually get what I want for dinner and extra for lunch the next day. My only “complaint” is that the portions are a little small – I think the price reflects that. Overall, the prep seems healthier to me than takeout and there’s a lot of vegan/veg/organic options.

        • forgot to say that heating them up is easy too – they come in oven proof containers so easy clean up. i may have to order for myself for tonight now . . .

        • Awesome. I will definitely give it a try. I struggle with finding time to cook but food delivery in the bay area is so expensive for anything except pizza and Chinese and as you said, even most takeout is pretty unhealthy. I would love the option to have something lighter and organic.

        • Need to Improve :

          I eat Munchery 2-3 times a week. It’s great.

  13. Office rant :

    I work outside the office of a woman who takes a number of calls with the door closed (I think those are personal) but with the door wide open for business calls. And she is LOUD. But – well-spoken. I don’t want to talk smack about her in the office, especially because she’s otherwise nice – but I have to vent! This is really uncharitable and probably unkind of me, but she *is* really well-spoken, and I wonder if she’s not just showing off. Because honestly – these are business calls and she can easily close the door – she does for many other calls! I really can’t think of another reason for this, and it’s so dang distracting. People have stopped by my desk and actually commented on how they’ve lost their train of thought because she’s so loud.
    Thanks for letting me blow off some steam. :)

    • Seems to me that it’s a pretty common practice to take persona l calls with the door closed and business calls with the door open.

      • Office rant :

        Dang, really? I was hoping I could get validated on my uncharitable assumptions. :)
        Thanks for your reply! For what it’s worth, most folks here seem to take all their calls (so I’m assuming biz and personal) with their doors closed. But that’s interesting to hear, rook. Maybe that’s what she’s accustomed to, then, from other offices.

        • Office rant :

          Somehow – as I’m trying to compose an analysis right now over the din of her talk – I’d rather just assume she’s showing off. It’s weirdly meanly validating. Jerky, I know!

      • Orangerie :

        Not in my office. We all close our doors if we’re on a call of any nature.

    • Loud talkers can certainly be frustrating, but I don’t even know what it means to be so well-spoken that you would yell on the phone to show off. Is she masterfully speaking a foreign language?

      • Office rant :

        Heh, yes, she’s yelling in Cantonese. :)
        No, no, I mean – she just *sounds* incredibly competent and effective on the phone. I guess, when virtually everyone else here closes their door on business calls, I can’t see the value add of keeping her door open, and that’s why I’ve settled on, “Well, she must just think she sounds really good.” She’s jokingly even talked about how loud she is before. I know it’s not a matter of her office getting hot or something, since she said she’s always freezing.

      • One of my staff talks very calmly on the phone but when she’s out in the big room and gets excited, she’s quite loud. And she has a very thick Yat accent. It is mostly hilarious. When she gets on the phone with her brother, who aggravates her, we’re all dying. I close my door if it gets too bad.

        • Office rant :

          Haha, aw, that’s kind of charming.
          Alas, I have no office. Nor door to close.

    • WestCoast Lawyer :

      I once sat next to a partner who took all calls on speakerphone with his door open, and he was LOUD. It actually didn’t bother me too much. I don’t work well in silence and as a junior lawyer I felt like I learned some valuable negotiation skills (and interesting office gossip). But it cracked me up when we were both there late one night and he popped his head into my office to ask if the classical music he had put on in the background (quietly, I should add) was disturbing me. I think some people honestly don’t realize just how loud they are when they are on the phone.

    • Every lawyer in my busy law office takes their calls on speakerphone, loudly, with the door open. I have learned SO MUCH from listening to how my colleagues talk to their clients. Every lawyer is different, and I love it.

      • Office rant :

        Honestly, I think it’s really jerky, at least with the way our office is set up. There are a number of people surrounding this lady’s office who don’t have the option to close the door, because we don’t have offices. And some of us working on projects that really require a great deal of concentration.
        But I do appreciate your perspective. It’s interesting that you appreciate it (which is great!) — do you have an office? I think if I had the option it wouldn’t be so aggravating.

    • People do this in my office, but the accepted etiquette is that if someone is talking loudly and it’s annoying you, you’re allowed to just close their door.

  14. Well, I listened to my gut and declined the job. AAahhhhhh! Now I just have to ignore my jerkbrain telling me that I am never going to get another job, and I will die from starvation in the snow like the little matchgirl.


    • Office rant :

      You made the best decision with the info you had on hand. Now, like you said, on to bigger and better!

    • You won’t starve in the snow! At the very worst you’ll be living under a bridge with me and the other trolls.

    • Aww thanks both of you!! ;o) See you under the bridge, Parfait! I’ll bring the wine. ;o)

  15. Zora’s post about job hunting reminded me…

    The job that I didn’t get a few months ago? Three people have left since then. Sometimes what seems like a bad think at the time really does turn out the be a gift.

  16. Paging Garanimals :

    J. Crew is having a 30% off sale online today that includes your items. Promo code: SHOP30.

  17. Road Blocks? :

    Warning RANT!
    It seems like everything has been going wrong lately. Senior female making snarky remarks, then getting offensive offers from new jobs I have been applying for, just generally being treated poorly and being devalued or under valued. I know its because I am young and I just have to “take it” but its still disappointing.

  18. PhD help... :

    I am considering a PhD in psychology and I have an idea on what area I’d like to focus on, but I don’t know much about the world of acadamia and how to get started learning about the application process. I assume I will need to have some research experience first but I’m not quite sure how to go about getting it. I currently work in marketing so I don’t have any research experience in my professional role, and I didn’t have any in ugrad. Is there some way I can get this experience while working full time? To add to the complication, I am an American currently living/working in China. Can anyone share their experience with me or maybe provide a few suggestions on how to get started?

    • I’m a college prof with a psych PhD. Research experience is really what they look for these days, along with excellent letters of recommendation. Are there any universities near you where faculty might be interested in taking you on as a volunteer? That’s what I would recommend in the U.S. I’ve been told that psychology is one of the fields rising in popularity in China*, so there might also be some interest in partnering with someone in the U.S. to collect data. (*The college at which I teach has partnered to open a women’s college in Guangzhou, and they asked for business, international relations, and psychology for the students they’re sending over as transfer.) Cross-cultural or social psychology would be a good focus for experience. It’s okay if that doesn’t match your chosen area, as long as your methods are solid. Regarding area, it really needs to be something outside of clinical to have a decent shot. Clinical is so competitive, that the slots (like 5 of 300 applicants at top state schools) are going to people with undergrad publications, and not just research. It’s crazy. Another route would be to look at a Master’s program in experimental psych that has a good track record of getting people into doctoral programs. They won’t have the same level of funding, but aren’t massively expensive and can help with research experience.

      There are also some basic research classes that you need to have taken, like Methods and Statistics.

      • Anonymous :

        This is so helpful! Thank you so much. I’ve started looking at a few local universities but I’m concerned about the language barrier as I don’t speak Mandarin. I’ll keep checking though. Since clinic programs are so competitive, what are some other areas worth considering? Thank you again so so much!

        • Different program options depend on what you want to do and what your state licenses. If you want to practice clinical, but are less concerned about conducting research, then a PsyD might work. It’s just a different model, but you want to be sure and stick to non-profit programs and most likely those at major universities. The funding typically isn’t as good, but that varies.

          Counseling psychology is another option. There aren’t strict demarcations between clinical and counseling, but counseling might be thought of as more “problems in living ” vs serious disorders. Otherwise, a masters in social work is another potential to look at, as is a degree in marriage and family therapy.

    • Anonymous :

      All universities have their websites, it’s more of a matter of figuring out what you would like to study within your PhD. Some high-profile universities will have a site in China – see who the visiting psychology professors are and talk with them, as you have the ex-pat in China experience in common, as well as a strong interest in the academic matter that shapes, if not defines the practice of psychology. Look at faculty backgrounds as well for research areas that are of personal interest to you, as PhDs are widely divergent.

      Many US universities will have online courses, if you need something from GRE prep to a Methods & Statistics refresher, to making SPSS software your best friend :)

  19. Tired Squared :

    Are any of you ladies Mary Kay reps? One of my girlfriends started a month ago and seems to love it, and as I sit here writing yet another discovery document, I can’t help but think that setting my own hours would be so amazing…

    • I don’t think Mary Kay and other sell-at-home people make much of a profit and you’re force to throw those terrible parties that no one wants to go to.

    • Solo Practitioner :

      If you like setting your own hours, there are a lot of other (more profitable) options than Mary Kay! I’ve been in solo law practice for 3 years. It’s hard, but it’s really freaking fun. :)

    • Run away from Mary Kay, and any other sell-at-home or whatever they call it scheme! Seriously!

    • Wait and see if she’s still doing it in a year. Most of them aren’t…

  20. Thinking about getting one of these for my mom for Mother’s Day — she’s expressed before that she’d like a wrap to go with sleeveless dresses. What color is the most seasonless and versatile? I was thinking winter white or oat heather…

    • If I were getting a wrap for summer, I’d go for the Nordstrom linen blend instead. I have that in gray, purple, and brown. Love it. The light gray is very versatile.

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