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Open Thread: The Best Sample Sale Sites (and Best Purchases)…

Sales· Shopping | · ·

best sample sale sites

2017 Update: This is still a fun discussion on the best sample sale sites as they existed in 2011 — but you may want to check out our more recent discussion of which flash sale sites are still worth checking out (and what to buy) in 2017.

Fashion websites were excited last week about the American opening of Vente-Privee, a new sample sale site (started in Paris, opened in America in partnership with American Express, Calvin Klein collection on sale today, etc, etc), and Bluefly’s just announced they’re getting in the game with the yet-t0-launch Belle & Clive (click both links for invites). However, as the trend has gotten older, the bloom is off the rose for many of the sample sale sites — the NYT just had an article about how better deals can be found elsewhere, and I’ve even attended fashion-type events where brands admit that they are now producing lines just for the sample sale sites (so kind of like factory stores, except less well marked). I thought today might be a good time to have an open thread about the GOOD about sample sale sites — which are your favorites? What are the best things you’ve gotten from them?

For my own $.02…  I like that the sample sale sites put things in front of me that I may not have noticed, and probably would not have considered in the store at a higher price.  Some of my best purchases:

  • James Perse shirts for my husband. Rue La La had a sale years ago on James Perse and I got him one white tee at a much higher price than I would normally pay for a white tee for him — $30!! — and it has become such a favorite that we now buy them whenever they go on sale at Nordstrom.
  • Portolano cashmere slippers (with mink details!) for me from Rue La La. I bought these just when I was transitioning from the law firm to the non-profit, and probably shouldn’t have spent the $50 or whatever I spent on them… but ohmygod they’ve been amazing. Supersoft knit, fuzzy fur, leather bottoms… the knit is worn down in the heel area so they look pretty scruffy now, but the comfort is still there so I continue to wear them.  (Bluefly has some cashmere slippers on sale right now — no mink details to be found, though.)
  •  A Momeni rug for my son’s room from Hautelook. My husband is a leeetle bit space-obsessed, and I thought it was a fun theme for a nursery, so we bought a dark blue rug with robots and spaceships on it. At the time that I bought it, I figured quality was a gamble, but considering it would probably be covered in spit-up and worse it didn’t matter. I’ve been really pleasantly surprised with the quality, though — it has a nice high, soft pile; it cleans easily (enough); and it hasn’t left too much new-rug-fuzz all over the apartment.  Kohl’s has the same rug (but not in the size that we got).
  • Hot Rocks earrings from Ideeli with moonstone/silver accents. These have become my new go-to earrings for casual events — I love that the moonstone color is primarily a milky white (great for standing out against my dark brown hair) but changes color when the light hits it.  (I’m not 100% sure that’s the brand’s name, but that’s how it’s listed on the order info in my account.)  (Endless has a similar pair, but mine were much much (much) less than that!)
  •  Happy Socks from Gilt Groupe — this was a middle-of-the-night splurge for myself (I think from the men’s section!) but I love my crazy-hued socks. They’re also sold at Madewell.

Readers, which are your favorite sites?  How religiously do you stalk the sales?  What have been some of your best purchases?

(L-all)

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. DD

    I posted this very late on the weekend thread, and a helpful reply but I thought I would repost.

    I was wondering if a 3.2 was good enough for NYC biglaw (for a lateral, two years out).

    I just looked at my school’s curve and it is quite low- 15-60-20-5 (5 being D’s, but not required to give out D’s and can just make it Cs instead). I wonder if firms take that into account?

    • Amelia Bedelia

      My experience is that firms care about class rank, not GPA. If you don’t have a personal contact at the firm to which you apply, you need to be in the top 10% of your graduating class.

      • Amelia Bedelia

        With one caveat: if you have somehow distinguished yourself in a niche field, I don’t think rank/GPA really matters.

      • LawyrChk

        This is generally correct, but I don’t think you need to be in the top 10% for NYC Biglaw. If you’re willing to take low V100 or Amlaw 200 firms, top 40% should be more than enough.

    • NYB

      I responded to your thread, but you’ve provided new info. If you are a lateral, your grades are going to matter a lot less than what you’ve been doing for the past 2 years. Like I mentioned in wkend thread, your grades should be good enough for all but the most elite firms in NYC (Wachtell, Cravath, S&C) and yes, the firms do take school’s curve into acct in that cutoffs are often not by GPA, but by your ranking (top 10%, top 25%, etc…). But again, these “cutoff” issues are almost always for 2Ls, and not laterals.

      • DD

        Thanks to everyone who replied! All very helpful.

        I’ve got some great stuff on my resume for my (hopefully) chosen area of practice, as well as some “interesting” things too. Maybe if I can think of some more stuff to do while I’m working to make myself more marketable- perhaps publishing a paper- that will give me another boost.

      • San Jose in house

        Having just fired one of the law firms mentioned above , I find it hilarious that the search criteria for lateral big law hires includes you law school grades, as opposed to, say, focusing soley focusing on what you have accomplished once you have recieved your degree.

        For what it’s worth, the managing partner of the practice area of our former outside counsel was a graduate of the top 5, and law review, and beyond his academic knowlege was barely able to close a deal for us!!

  2. Makeup Junkie

    well, I can tell you that I don’t check these sites enough, because last week Bobbi Brown was on Gilt and I missed it. That’ll teach me.

  3. yesh

    I’ve gotten two pairs of Modern Vintage knee boots (one flat, one wedge) on Gilt Groupe that I love. Both for evenings/weekends, not work. I’ve also had luck with fun jewelry on Gilt.

  4. Cat

    I stopped using them, for the most part. I don’t like pushy salespeople, and the ticking clocks and time pressure on those sites is the online equivalent IMO. Plus it’s just a temptation to find things you didn’t know you wanted and spend extra money (even if it is a “deal,” it’s money I wouldn’t have spent). The idea that I should have to drop everything at whatever time on the off chance I want to buy something or, omg, I’ll be left only with “sold out” signs and regret, is annoying to me.

    I still get a weekly email from RLL on Mondays that shows the sales for the week – only if there’s a brand I really like and know how it fits me (e.g., DvF dresses) will I click in to investigate.

    • Niktaw

      I do not use any flash sale sites, precisely because of this:
      “find things you didn’t know you wanted and spend extra money (even if it is a “deal,” it’s money I wouldn’t have spent)”

    • Alanna of Trebond

      Rue La La has a really excellent return policy, which is why it is the only one I use regularly — you can always return things and get a refund, so it is similar to how you might shop without time pressure.

      • Alanna of Trebond

        Haha, I promise I am not a Rue La La shill. I just felt this same way about them (especially Gilt, because it really does not seem cheaper) and this made me like RLL in particular.

  5. Anonymous

    Semi-related threadjack (because I’m bored!):
    Is anyone saving up for a splurge item? (I am: Tiffany pearls!)

      • Lisa

        MK watch is a great choice and worth the splurge. I have the white ceramic and love it – wear it year round (thanks to Sandra Bullock in Blindside for the inspiration – though hers was a Toy Watch).

        • DD

          Was thinking of the square one (not rectangular- perfectly sqaure)- not sure which type of metal.

      • yesh

        Me too! Although I’ve been reading conflicting things online as to how permanent it is.

      • phillygirlruns

        I did this years ago and it was one of the better investments I’ve ever made.

      • Anonymous

        You have No. Idea. how worth it it will be. I didn’t, and am sooo happy.

      • E Squared

        I just mentioned this on another post– but Groupons are GREAT for this!!!!

      • Nicki G

        when I get a law job, I want to trade in my 1/2 carat TW diamond studs for 1 carat total weight!

    • AIMS

      Not sure if it counts as a splurge, but I really want/need a new mattress and want to get a really nice, plush one that will make going to bed a serious treat. Of course, that means I also want a new bed… The sad thing is that as much as that will be much more useful than a new purse, it’s much harder to save for (or to even just want to spend the money on it at all. Just think of all the shoes I could buy with my mattress money!)

      • Monday

        I humbly suggest that Mr. AIMS pays half, and you spend the rest on shoes. :)

        • AIMS

          Haha, that’s definitely the plan (we’re a very egalitarian household), but a new bed + nice mattress still requires some planning ahead and there are just so many cute shoes to tempt me along the way… ;)

      • jcb

        Have you started researching mattresses yet? I have been trying to buy one for a few years now but have given up each time I’ve really started looking at the options. They are so effing expensive and the online complaints for some of them are horrible. Memory foam is either the greatest invention ever or will send you to the hospital in respiratory distress. Latex is either even better and more long-lasting than memory foam, or will cave in on the sides and leave you with a hard foam mountain in the center of your bed. Good old-fashioned coils cause pressure points and discomfort. Urg. I hear you on it being hard to save for – not a fun purchase.

        • beccavt

          I feel the same way about mattresses – people both love and hate every single one, and with such short return policies, I’m terrified I’m going to spend a ton of money on one that I end up not liking and be stuck with it. To make matters worse, my husband and I have totally different ideas about what makes a comfortable mattress, so the likelihood that we will find one we both like seems so low that it’s not even worth it.

          • Seattleite

            The sleep number bed was made for you! Get one with a pillow top. Bonus is that when you move, the entire mattress will break down to the size of a wardrobe box. So much easier and cheaper! I’ve had my sleep number bed for 12 years and it’s still going strong. LOVE.

        • B

          I bought a memory foam mattress by Serta, queen sized, for about 200 bucks after coupon.

          It is heavenly. My boyfriend at the time suffered from back problems, and he pitched his (much more expensive) mattress for the same one in a king size!

        • brooke

          Overstock has quite a few memory foam toppers (like 4-inch) for under $100. It’s a good way to see how you feel about the memory foam experience before investing a bunch of money in it.

        • Kara Starbuck

          My better half (who likes FIRM beds) and I bought a mattress just after finishing gradschool and moving cross-country (we were broke; I had neck/upper back pain from the dissertation and was used to a very soft memory foam topper). We ended up with a basic firm/no pillow-top coil mattress, thinking that we’d add a latex mattress topper if (I) had problems. I’ve been very happy with it (plus my firm latex pillow), even without a topper–and it’s much cheaper to replace a mattress topper on Overstock/whatever than to buy a new mattress when the pillowtop disintegrates. I’ve also heard that memory foam mattresses soften up too much after you’ve slept on it for a few months.

          For what it’s worth, there’s a Sleep Number in my parents’ guestroom, and I HATE it. “Softer” makes it feel like an air mattress with a pillow topper and I sometimes wake up to find that the air bladder has emptied. YMMV.

      • nev

        We’ve had our Room and Board firm encased coil mattress for two years, and every. single. night I sigh, “I love our bed.” Mattress-buying is difficult, but if you like a *firm* mattress that isn’t *hard,* it’s the only one I recommend.

      • Tigger

        Check out WhotelthestoreDOTcom. They sell the W hotel mattresses, but there’s always a 40% or 35% coupon code (WSTAR35) – making a queen mattress about $650. Expensive, but not really outrageously so.

        • AIMS

          Thanks, guys! JCB & Beccavt def. hit the nail on the head — part of the problem is just how overwhelming the whole experience is. I actually got really excited when I thought our bed broke recently because I thought it would give us the incentive to really get going on this, but, alas, Mr. AIMS (btw, I love that, Monday!) fixed it.

          I am definitely going to write down all these suggestions though (esp. love the idea of a W bed). And, Kanye, I am soooo with you on that Hästens. I get a little tug of longing every single time I walk by their Soho store. It’s kind of pathetic.

          • PollyD

            My boyfriend has a king size W bed and he paid LESS for it than I did my Sears queen size. W does indeed have good sales. And it is a wonderful bed – firm, yet soft on top, but not too soft. I think it’s not a true pillow top, which I have been told can sometimes develop little “craters” where you sleep if you are not super-diligent about rotating it. If I can manage it, my next mattress will be a W mattress.

      • SunnyD

        If you buy from a mattress store, negotiate your price. I worked for a (unnamed) mattress retailer when I was in college. Mark-ups are about 200%. Buying a mattress is like buying a car–negotiate, threaten to leave the store without buying, tell them you want free delivery, whatever it takes to get the price down. But still remember you spend 1/3 of your life in bed; a good mattress is worth it. FWIW: I have slept on a Kings Down for years and it’s amazingly soft and comfortable.

    • Jas

      A new (to me) car, if I can get over the guilt of not driving my current 20-year-old car until it breaks down.

      • Argie

        Oooo… I have approximately 2 years before I hit 200k and will probably run this one into the ground, but am already starting to think about the next one. Which just makes me hate the current one that much more… sigh.

        • Volvo

          I have a 2000 with 103,000 miles. I hope it lasts several more years. I love it.

        • b23

          Try American Leather (they have lots of fabric options too; mine isn’t leather). Super stylish, and they have Tempurpedic pull-out sofa beds. Plus, there’s no bar, just a full platform on which the matress sits. It’s so comfortable, I’m sometimes jealous of our guests!

          • eaopm3

            I just got on this website and found some stuff I really love, but I cannot find a price point. Is there a significant difference between the price of sleeper and non-sleeper sofas?

          • b23

            Sleepers are generally more expensive than non-sleepers. Mine (which is equivalent to a queen pulled out) one was $4,000 – $5,000, which I considered high, but we decided it was worth it for the comfort of our guests. Basically, we turned our second bedroom in our tiny house into a den that we would use every day and splurged on a pull-out sofa rather than bedroom furniture for a spare room.

          • eaopm3

            Thanks for the reply! We don’t need a sleeper sofa, so I am hoping that will make these in our price range!

      • eaopm3

        A couch is mine, too! I cannot find anything that I love, though. I want a brand new, durable, comfortable couch in a quirky, fantastic vintage-y feeling fabric. I got my fabric samples from DwellStudio and the scraps are so small that I cannot tell what on earth the couch would look like :(

    • Louise

      Tiffany is lovely, but if you want even better pearls at a much better price, check out Pearl Paradise. pearl paradise dot com

      Seriously wonderful stuff…I *love* pearls!

  6. Mrs. Q

    I’ve recently found the flash sale emails to require too much time, so have stopped shopping them entirely. Is there a website that aggregates the brands for sale each day on each of these sites?

  7. Supra

    That really bugs me that designers are now selling items that are produced specifically for flash sale sites. When they first started, I got some great deals on some things, but I got sick of getting the emails every day and I found myself very tempted to spend money that I wouldn’t nornally spend so I unsubscribed from daily emails. Out of sight, out of mind.

      • b23

        Do we know which ones do that? How would you determine that? There are a few I know of who don’t because I’ve seen their exact items in stores (Kate Spade, Cole Haan, to name two).

        • Charlotte

          Yeah, I’ve unsubscribed from Gilt completely because of this (well, and the $15 return fee they are charging—ridiculous!). I ordered some Rosie Pope maternity clothes last month that were nothing like the ones you get direct from her website, but of course there was no indication of that in the sale.

      • Amy

        I agree. This is the same reason why I soured on outlet mall shopping around 2000-2002 or so. The stores stopped being outlets and started being lower grade merchandise instead.

  8. MeliaraofTlanth

    the only thing I tend to buy on sample sale sites is things where I know exactly what size I need and how much they are elsewhere. This usually translates to Cole Haan shoes, Kate Spade bags, and Spanx. I don’t use them much, but if I know I need something, I keep an eye out.

  9. anon

    Related FYI, free shipping on Gilt today. They’ve also started shipping internationally.

  10. bb

    I’ve gotten some great shoes from Gilt and some great dresses from RueLaLa. I used to follow more sites but it was too much for me – the RueLaLa stuff is (usually) closer to my taste and price range than other websites, but I know someone who works for Gilt so I keep up with that one too.

    Question: My SO and I recently moved in together. We have significantly differing opinions on money – for example, I believe in living comfortably (but not extravagantly) now, while he is more of a saver for the future (he throws “down payment” around a lot) but he can also be VERY stingy at times. It’s been an issue in the past, but just last night he questioned me about a $45 face cream I recently bought (I’m 27 and just starting to get fine lines and want to prevent prevent prevent!). I make a lot more money than he does, so I’m using my own money for this (I’m also paying off loans relatively aggressively and saving too), and there are a lot of items I don’t spend money on that a lot of people, especially women, do (example: I haven’t bought a pair of shoes over $60 in like 3 years – though I can also thank Zappos and Gilt for that). Could I save more and live more frugally? Sure, but that’s not really how I want to be every day. I’m wondering what experience or advice anyone has in terms of having different views on spending in a relationship. Does anyone have a SO who is uncomfortable if you spend your money on something for you or anything similar? How do you deal with that?

    • a nonny miss

      I don’t have any advice, but I’ll be in a similar position shortly so I’ll be watching this closely!

    • Nicki G

      I think you both to figure out what each is going to contribute to your combined bills, and if you two are planning on buying (assuming you haven’t bought yet since SO talks about down payment) what each should contribute to the down payment. Maybe you guys should deposit a percentage of your income into a joint account for combined/necessary expenses, and then each can do what they want with their own money.

      As long as you’re carrying your weight and being responsible he should not be scrutinizing your purchases! It may just be a result of his upbringing bc his parents did that to him or something.

        • springtime

          I think some guys are always shocked at how expensive ‘girl’ products are. To him, a cream is a cream. There isn’t any difference between them from what a guy can tell, so why are you spending so much money on one?

          Maybe it if was a different type of purchase (a nice tv, for example), he would see the difference in price = difference in quality.

    • mamabear

      I’ve been married for 11 years to my husband, who is my second husband. He earns significantly less than I do and had always had issues with my spending. We talk and talk about

      – how he feels shoes=frivolous but tools=necessary

      – how women need more clothing and makeup and skincare items than men & that’s a reality

      – how I have worked my whole life to have financial independence & I’m not going to start asking him permission now

      All of these discussions have taken place repeatedly, but there is still resentment.

      That said, I don’t believe in a lot of compromise on this issue. I earn money, and I work hard to do so. As I said, I married him as a financially independent adult woman and I am not ever going to start asking his permission to spend my own money.

      I think I’m mostly answering to tell you that this issue will NOT go away. It is a universal problem in relationships, particularly where the woman out-earns the man.

      • Monday

        “…financially independent adult woman and I am not ever going to start asking his permission to spend my own money.” This is my sentiment exactly.

        I think it’s an argument for–if necessary–having a “his, hers, ours” accounting system. You both pitch in to the joint account in a manner proportionate to your respective incomes. Then you also each have your own accounts, the debits of which are not up for negotiation!

        The bigger picture issues have been pointed out well by other commenters. What I’m saying above is kind of a band-aid if the real problem is a lack of shared vision about this down payment, or a lack of respect for each other’s prerogatives. I can’t relate to some of my SO’s spending decisions, but I recognize that he works hard and it’s up to him, period.

        • Diana Barry

          I think this is a good idea in your case. He may also just be getting used to the cost of women’s products, particularly if he never saw his mom/sisters/aunts/other female relatives buy things like that recently!

      • NOLA

        Oh I second all of that! I never had money for anything fun while I was married – my ex could never keep a job but never stopped spending money and trying to pay off his debt with my salary. So now, when my SO says something about shoes or clothes, I tell him it’s my money and he knows how careful I am and he should let it go. But he also sees that I rarely buy things I don’t wear to work regularly and gets the whole shoes/clothes/bags/makeup = tools/guns/motorcycle stuff. But sometimes I wonder if I should save more for something really important – like a tummy tuck!

    • CPA to be

      The only way my husband and I have found to deal with this is to give ourselves allowances. We are saving up for a house right now, so we each have a certain small dollar amount per month to spend on whatever we want. I dont know how it would work for you two, considering the large difference in income. Because, in my life, there has been a give and take and a history of taking turns supporting each other while finishing extra schooling, my husband and I have had to work out a lot of financial issues along the way, and our differences in spending habits was one of those issues. The allowance with the same dollar amount for each of us works out way better than a percentage (in our experience– probably because we have made such widely different amounts of money for a lot of our marriage).

      What it really comes down to, though, is the question of whether or not he will resent you for spending whether or not it is on some sort of budget. Is he upset that you are spending that amount of money? Is he upset that you are spending it on something he considers frivolous? Is this maybe just a problem of lack of communication/transparency in spending habits? Maybe sitting down and showing him a budget of how you spend and save would make him feel better. What are his expectations about buying a house with you? Is he uncomfortable with making less money than you do?

      I think the only thing you can do is talk through all of these issues and try to get down to the bottom of why he cares what you spend.

    • AIMS

      I think you need to have an honest talk, wherein you can both figure out your goals and budget. For instance, you just moved in together, and you say he mentions the word “down payment,” but are you actually planning to buy a place together? If so, when? Where? What kind of place will it be? Is marriage in the future? If no, is it because you are just not the marrying kind (I’m not) or is it because you think someone else may come along… These are the kinds of things you need to figure out.

      Personally, I think you should figure out a budget for your joint expenses, figure out savings toward joint goals (down payment or even furniture, vacations, etc.), discuss things that affect your joint future (e.g., retirement contributions and loan repayment) and then he should butt out about the rest. Obviously, you shouldn’t say it quite like that. But you can agree on your essentials and agree not to not discuss the rest, or agree that x% of your salary can go towards “extras” and he should not judge whether those extras are fancy coffees or fancy face creams.

      I may get flack for this, but I also just wouldn’t tell him how much your face cream costs! Everyone has their accepted “splurges” and things they consider frivolous. But there’s no right or wrong. I would be horried if I knew exactly how much money my SO spends on skiing in winter/golf in summer; he would be horrified to know how much I ‘ve spent on non-work clothes. But as long as all our joint goals are met, and our respective expenses are not impacting our joint goals/budget, we just trust each other to use our best judgment vis a vis what we spend our money on. It seems to really work for us.

      • nev

        +1
        dream together, set your goals together (give your money a purpose!), and then once the important goals are being met, you each get to spend on what you want to spend on.

        This applies no matter who is the “breadwinner” – whether it’s “my money” that’s paying for something or not. After our mutual goals are met, I spend exactly how I feel like it, and so does he, even if we don’t understand each other’s purchases!

      • Bonnie

        Agreed. We have his/mine/ours accounts and SO does not need to know how much I spend on face cream from my account.

    • Homestar

      Women spend more on clothes and beauty products. He must accept this.

      I second the idea of the allowances, though, if it helps keep the peace.

      • Baby weight

        We do allowances. In fact, mine is a little more than his. I don’t complain about his cd purchases. He doesn’t have to know how much my make up costs.

        We have our allowances split out from our direct deposits into our separate “allowance” bank accounts. (Thankfully our bank does not charge us account fees on these.)

    • beccavt

      Are you guys characterizing the money in your household differently? Some people in couples automatically consider all income “our” money, while others hold on to a “mine/yours” dynamic. Since your move-in occurred recently, maybe he has transitioned to a sharing mindset more quickly than you, and be imposing his ideas of frugality on the household income as a whole, instead of just what his income is. I don’t think either mindset is necessarily a bad thing – it is highly dependent on both the people and the relationship – but each of you may be conceptualizing it differently and so are talking past each other. Verbalizing all of your underlying assumptions to each other may help clarify things, even if there isn’t a clear solution to that kind of disconnect.

      I know some couples never transition into the “sharing” situation, but it’s kind of the way things go for me and my husband, since he has the only income now while I’m in school, but when I am finished I will likely out-earn him significantly. I think that’s really the only way we can avoid feeling resentful when one of us is currently earning and the other spending, or from feeling guilty when we are a current non-earner and obviously need to buy stuff.

    • NYC

      OMG, I can get on Corporette!! I have missed y’all. Not sure what the problem was but I couldn’t get on for the last few weeks without my browser freezing.

      Am I reading this right — he is giving you crap about a face cream that you are paying for out of your own pocket? My hubby and I have a joint account for joint expenses, and agree on what “personal expenses” are that we pay for out of our personal accounts. Beauty products & clothing are personal expenses, although regular Duane Reade and Target runs usually come out of the joint account. I did this in large part so that I would not try to control him and how much he spends on suits and shoes (astronomical figures in my mind). Bonus is that he has no input over how much I spend on my highlights, face cream, etc.

      In setting up your finances and talking about them, it is important to know your personal tendencies and priorities and create solutions that work for both of you. It doesn’t sound like this is really just about face cream or that educating him about the importance of moisturinzing will solve the problem.

    • bb

      thank you everyone for your input, what a great group of people :) I took a lot of notes and am going to continue this conversation with him. I think you all articulated what I was feeling but was unable to get across to him when he brought up the issue yesterday. Here’s hoping this goes better today!

      • Anon for this

        I agree with NYC, and I’m concerned that he’s butting in on your face cream decision when it’s your money! You have to treat yourself sometimes, too! Everyone has their luxuries and little “vices.” To be fair, I come from a family with an extremely cheap and controlling father and it has made me want to have separate accounts forever. Even though my mother worked full-time, my father controlled the budget. If he didn’t think something was “necessary,” he nagged and guilted or flat-out vetoed both her and us. So, this issue gets my hackles up. Your partner and you may just need an honest talk about budget autonomy and not judging. But watch how he reacts. The top two things couples fight about are sex and money. Where you are now, and how you two resolve your different worldviews and any conflicts, will set the stage for the future.

    • E Squared

      I can give you some other side perspective because I’m the cheap one in my relationship– my bf LOVES buying things I think are super stupid– like DVDs and techy things that we basically already have. We solved this by setting a budget & giving each of us an allowance that we can spend each week on whatever we want. For us, this works out to about $250/wk. I’m not allowed to complain (even though I sometimes still do) when he buys stupid things as long as it’s part of the money we set aside to do that with.
      Your bf, like me, might just be a planner and want to be able to plan the big “down payment” sort of stuff, so deciding in advance an allowance can help you guys do that.

  11. bessa

    I don’t follow them. I have all my daily emails filtered into a folder in my inbox and I rarely check them. I started to find I could google better deals than what was in my Sample Sale shopping cart. I always google anything I buy on there before I pull the trigger, now.

    I used to buy a lot from Rue La La. Some from Gilt, Hautlook and some kid sites (Totsy, The Mini Social, Zulily). I even bought a sofa from one of the home sites (Joss and Main, I think). I think of them all, the fashion sites have the worst deals.

    The shine is off.

  12. Cee

    I have found some neat things over time, but I’ve stopped using them. I have more fun searching for prizes when I am in the mood at B&M stores like Marshall’s, Nordstrom Rack, Off Fifth. I can also try things on that way.

    The only online sample sale that I still go crazy for is the kate spade one, direct from the company. Love it!

  13. b23

    I have really limited my use of these sites as well, but I still do find things occassionally. I only buy when I am familiar with the brands. My best purchase was about a month ago – a pair of Kate Spade camel-colored suede shoes that I’m pretty sure had been featured on here. I am obsessed with them and stare at my feet all day every time I wear them! :)

  14. J

    Any advice on networking? Tomorrow, I’m meeting with the E.D. and a board member of a non-profit that does work in a field in which I have some previous experience, but nothing substantial or recent. I set up the meeting to explore how I can contribute to the non-profit, because I am really excited by the agency’s mission – while I’m open to volunteering, I’d love to ultimately refocus my career and move into full-time, paid work in the same field as the non-profit (and potentially, at the non-profit itself, if it’s really as awesome as it sounds). I currently work as a public interest attorney in a different subject matter area, but I’m actively looking to transition out. I feel like this meeting presents a great opportunity to sell myself, but I’m a little lost on how to actually do so effectively! Any tips on how to best approach a networking meeting so as to clearly articulate why I would be an asset to the non-profit organization, and in what capacity I can see myself contributing?

    PS: Please forgive any incoherency in the above – fighting off a nasty cold, and not terribly confident in my ability to communicate anymore!

  15. No Drama Mama

    I really like Gilt a lot, but the NYT article was right –better deals can be found outside these sites. I recently scored a pair of Pour La Victoire grey pumps on Neiman Marcus’s Last Call site for $115, plus free shipping. The next week they showed up on Gilt for $125, plus shipping. So not a big difference, but it adds up. I would rather take advantage of real sales (not the JC Penney kind that are year round) for an awesome deal.

  16. RR

    The bloom is definitely off the rose for me. I’m pretty much limited to Rue La La and ideeli. I get sucked in by the Rue 30 day free shipping after you pay once, and tend to shop more than normal in that time. Best deal was actually last week, and I posted about it here–a Botkier bag that fills a hole I was looking to fill (large, cool, weekend bag) for $80–not a bad mark down, and I feel like I know the quality and size, so final sale wasn’t an issue. I do find that the temptation to buy things quickly and things that I wasn’t looking for is hard to overcome, however, so I try to limit myself to things on my “to buy” list.

    • RR

      Actually $89.90. The fact that I actually rounded down in my head probably also makes me susceptible to these sites!

  17. Bianca

    I love crazy hued socks like Cat!

    The Gap used to have great cashmere ones during the holidays that would go on sale for a few bucks but it looks like they’re not carrying them anymore. Do any Corporettes have suggestions for crazy hued warm socks that don’t cost an arm and a leg? I liked the ones at Madewell that Cat mentioned, but they’re too pricey for me.

  18. gref

    I have a business casual question:

    I’m a recent law grad going back to work for the company I worked for before law school. The dress code is (on the casual side of) business casual. Before I left, the policy for Fridays was that you could wear jeans if you paid $5 to the charity the company supports. They sent me the employee handbook with all the benefit enrollment materials, and, at least on paper, they still have the same policy. When I left to go back to school, nobody really enforced this policy, and people would wear jeans and not pay all the time.

    I recently lost about 20 lbs, and am gradually building up a wardrobe of work-appropriate clothes. I am not crazy about the pay money to wear jeans policy, and was wondering if anyone could recommend a way be casual on Fridays, but sidestep the jeans policy. The only thing I can think of is corduroy. I’m having trouble because I’m 5’3” and kind of between a 6 and an 8 right now–the Perfect Trouser at Gap size 6 Ankle is fitting me perfectly right now. I like the cords at AT Loft but by the the 6P is too short and the regular lengths are too long.

    I’m also curious on your thoughts on how to sidestep the pressure to give to the company’s charity of choice without coming off as a curmudgeon!

    • Midwest

      If you don’t pay, you shouldn’t be taking advantage of the jeans-wearing policy, IMO.

      As far as how to opt out without seeming curmudgeonly, just say that you’ve already selected the charities you’ll be donating to this year. Repeat as necessary.

    • Lydia

      My company recently went casual Fridays, and I haven’t quite felt comfortable wearing jeans to work yet, so I’ve been wearing corduroys pretty frequently. I’ve had luck with the corduroys at Lands End Canvas and Old Navy. Another option is wearing skinny pants with riding boots.

      • Argie

        LE Canvas typically has a 32″ inseam, for reference, but they may have some cropped styles if you are looking for shorter.

        • Lydia

          Yup. Should have clarified. I am the same height as the OP, but the Lands End canvas cords I had to get tailored. I did not tailor the Old Navy cords though.

    • another anon

      Talbots usually has cords in the fall that are relatively well made, so you might try there. And if you get on their mailing list, they send out coupons all the time.

      Land’s End also usually has pants that are pretty casual, but are not jeans–basically they khaki-type material, but in addition to khaki/tan, they also come in black, navy, white, grey, etc. I have never tried cords from Land’s End, but their stuff is generally pretty high quality. Oh, and the nice thing is that they custom hem all the pants–you just measure the inseam on a pair that fits you well and tell them to hem it to that length.

    • Marge

      Sounds like you are working at my firm. I think only a small fraction of the people who wear jeans pay $5. No one enforces this rule, and I don’t think there is an ethical obligation to make that “donation.” You certainly won’t get in trouble for/be identified as wearing jeans but not paying, but you could also wear corduroys, khakis, less-fancy skirts/dresses…it’s not like the people who don’t pay $5 wear suits on Fridays. I only know of maybe one guy in my department who pays the $5 every week, and he is a very charitable person in general. But I know that everyone wears jeans or jeans-equivalents.

      • gref

        Yeah I get the feeling that it’s going to be like this at my job. My department has hired a new team leader since I was in school and this new guy may dictate how seriously the pay money if you want to wear jeans policy is enforced. I just wish it was either a straight yes or no for jeans on Fridays because I like clarity.

        Thanks for the suggestions. I will sign up for the Talbots emails. I also found some khakis online only at Gap so I may get a couple pairs of those. Boring but probably necessary!

    • Anonymous

      I find jeans really uncomfortable for sitting all day, so I use Fridays to wear dresses that are still work appropriate in terms of fit and length, but have a print that I wouldn’t wear during the week (nothing too crazy, just more casual than my staple solids).

  19. Jas

    Most of them only ship to the US and the ones that ship to Canada either seem to be not my style (Prive) or not a great deal (Beyond the Rack) so I don’t usually bother.

    • AIMS

      Not to encourage you, but Gilt recently started to do international shipping. And, at least in the US, today is a free shipping day.

  20. Anonymous

    Threadjack: Would you think it’s rude if someone just walked over to chat with your neighboring cubicle (without ackowledgin you) while dumping trash into your garbage can that’s clearly within your own personal space? Then just walks away…

      • 1L-1

        I think yes. Invasion of personal space without acknowledging your presence is rude.

    • a.k.

      No, but our trash is emptied twice a day so who cares? I might mind if it was stinky (food) trash, but a tissue or something wouldn’t bother me. It’s all company trash.

  21. beccavt

    I have a running list in my head of brands or clothes that I would love to buy, but would never do so in a store because they are too expensive. There are only a handful of these and they are fairly specific, so I usually give the email subjects a cursory glance. If a lightbulb doesn’t go off that it is featuring one of these items, I delete it without opening it. As a result, I rarely buy stuff from them, but there have been 4-5 times when I got something I wanted to buy but wouldn’t otherwise get for a great deal. This also helps me avoid discovering that I “need” something I never thought of buying before and then having to make a quick (and probably bad) decision.

  22. NYC

    I’ve also limited my emails from these sites, as I was buying stuff I didn’t really care about or need. That being said, some of my best purchases were larks — a cardigan from Pink Tartan that I wear more than I would think possible (Gilt), a red Nicole Miller rehearsal dinner dress, from the bridesmaid line (RueLaLa), and a million beautiful gifts and my office art (One Kings Lane). OKL is probably my favorite, as they have unique lines I don’t know about and give me lots of great gift ideas. I am also a HUGE fan of jetsetter, which has genuinely good deals on some amazing hotels.

    On the rug front, I was so close to buying a Surya rug on Ruelala when I remembered to double check for it elsewhere. Sure enough, it was cheaper on overstock (the rug deals on Overstock cannot be overstated).

    • AIMS

      Just chiming in to note how amazing the rugs/rug prices are on overstock. And $1.99 shipping is hard to beat.

    • b23

      I loooooove Pink Tartan. It’s the only brand I get really excited about when it’s on one of the flash sale sites. Well, that and Kate Spade, as discussed above. :)

  23. anon

    I think it helps to have some idea of what the regular retail prices are of the items that are featured on the flash sale sites. For instance, Gilt always has sales on Gorjana and Amrita Singh jewelry on the site but I have come across pieces from both lines at TJ Maxx for a bit less. Free People is featured today and I’ve seen stuff from them at Marshall’s.

    I like D.L. candles so I do appreciate the discount when they go on sale.

    Since I’m a serious foodie, I love me some Gilt Taste. Dear Job Fairy, can I get a job with Gilt Taste?

  24. Legally Brunette

    I subscribed to them all and unsubscribed about a year ago. I haven’t missed them. I found the multiple daily emails very annoying, plus I don’t like how some of the sample sites don’t allow returns, just merchandise credit. Shopping online at Nordstrom (with free shipping, free returns, and excellent customer service) has spoiled me so much that I can’t do any other kind of online shopping for clothes.

  25. kathy s

    I like sample sale sites, with a few caveats. I never visit them as soon as they start, because then the ticking clock and feeding frenzy do get overwhelming. Stuff that’s there by the end of the day isn’t going anywhere soon, so one can shop in a relaxed way.

    They are great for nabbing an occasional blowout deal (black wool Alberta Feretti pants, $50), and checking out some newer labels. Gilt isn’t what it used to be, but RueLaLa and Ideeli and even Hautelook are still chugging along. The key I think is to be selective and to not get caught in the hype — so I visit them when I actually need something, the same way as I would any other sites, or when there’s a favorite designer on sale.

  26. Fabulous

    The comments above make it clear that you all have not perused the fantastic collection of modern items at fab.com. That site is amazing! I live in a rural area, and can’t find modern furniture/housewares at all here. Fab.com has introduced me to designers I never would have found elsewhere. Love it!

  27. elz

    I’ve gotten good deals from most of the flash sites. You have to watch what is offered and add in shipping to see if it is still a good deal. I’ve gotten a good selection of hard to find Kendra Scott jewelry, and I always use Zulily for children’s gifts.

    Re: the mattress question- my husband has a bad back (2 surgeries in 5 years!). We recently sitched to a tempurpedic and he now sleeps soundly and without pain.

  28. anonymous

    Threadjack:

    No post on Katie Roiphe’s Op-Ed piece in the New York Times trivializing sexual harassment?

    • conbrio

      Ugh – I just shuddered when I read the name Katie Roiphe. I don’t know if she pretends to not get it because she likes the attention she gets that way, or if she really doesn’t get it.

  29. angela

    I spent $60 ish on a “$320” “Kay Unger” shirt dress from ideeli a few months ago. It was on final sale and it looked so cute! But when it came, it was stiff, horrible to the touch (it just feels like polyester… Ew), and itched like crazy. It also looks terrible on me–it’s just generally ill-fitting. I’m certain it was created specifically for ideeli, and the “$320 retail” was just BS to make me feel like I was getting a good deal. It worked–once. Now that I’ve seen how poor the quality is–from designer brands that I would think I could trust!–it’s not likely that I’ll shop from any of those websites again.

    I’ve never worn the dress out of the house. It makes me depressed just thinking about it.

  30. M

    I got a pair of fabulously unique Badgley Mischka heels because I “had” to have them. They were on final sale, which I would normally shy away from with brands I don’t regularly purchase, but at $40 I figured it was worth rolling the dice on them fitting. I wound up wearing them for my wedding, and I hope to find an excuse to wear them again. :-)

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